Chapter 57: I Bought a Whorehouse (Part 10)
Not for the first time and what was doubtlessly not going to be the last time Cayman fought back a sigh as the universe threw him one hell of a curveball, figuring he should really have been used to it at this point but never was.
"So much for schoolboy Issei Hyoudou, we're dealing with Exorcist trained Issei Quarta now. Christ, I hope Alaya pays in Aspirin."
Shaking off his stupor Cayman reoriented himself as Eleonor approached, expression relieved as she turned to Asuka, stating, "I wasn't aware you had this generation's Red Dragon Emperor and Seraph Gabriel's own queen on call, Asuka."
The USF Taimanin merely shrugged, tilting her hand back and forth as she replied, "Wasn't totally thanks to my people skills, you know as well as I do this place has some interested backers that are perfectly willing to lend a bit of a helping hand…that Excalibur Fragments were spotted in the area?"
She hiked a thumb towards the pair of Exorcists.
"Time to send in the big guns, as it were."
"Speaking of big guns…"
Cayman's amused words weren't missed by the group, all eyes turning to Issei as he stared with evident awe at Eleonor and Onisaki's chests, the Surveyor not questioning his fascination but merely the timing. Something the pig-tailed Taimanin agreed with, glaring at the youth as she instinctively hid her sizable bust behind her arms.
An act that earned the young protagonist another smack on the head from Griselda, the Gamer inwardly noting that he seemed pretty close to Vali's age and still held onto his perverseness from 'canon' so clearly something had gone screwy with his backstory, although not so much as to completely derail the things he was familiar with.
"Something on my face? I'll tell you now, dude, I grew up in the Vatican and know all about older guys eyeing up younger boys."
Griselda released a quiet, defeated sigh as Cayman merely smirked, electing to meet fire with fire as he idly replied, "No, just comparing you to the White Dragon Emperor, it's really quite the study of contrasts."
Cayman didn't doubt the brief flash of emerald in Issei's eyes was a product of his imagination, his tone eager as he asked, "Wait, you know my rival? You've met him?"
"Met him? I've worked and fought alongside him. Gotta say, the differences between you two are certainly quite fascinating…"
Deliberately choosing language as vague and infuriating as possible Cayman wasn't left disappointed as Issei pressed him further with, "Well? Is he as strong as I am? Does he have a harem like I do-"
With a third smack to shut the brunette down Griselda firmly stated, "Keep your inclinations in check and focus, unless you've forgotten that we're on a mission."
"I can do two things at once…"
Asuka snickered at Issei's grumbled response, joking, "Looks like this generation's Red Dragon Emperor is a bit of a horn dog, isn't he?"
"What can I say, you have killer bodies."
The blunt and honest words immediately drew Onisaki's ire, the Taimanin stepping forward to no doubt give Issei a piece of her mind-
-and promptly hid behind Asuka with a displeased hiss as the young man's eyes had locked onto her swaying assets like a guided weapon. Thankfully Eleonor was there to keep them on track as she cleared her throat, remarking, "As intriguing as all these interactions and connections may be I have a collection of maps and reports of the various abductions that we can go over now, if everyone is willing?"
Clearly relieved at the offer and quick to accept it Griselda pulled Issei by the ear, remarking, "More than willing, at least someone is willing to maintain a semblance of urgency."
Cayman abruptly found himself under the scrutinous gaze of the woman, her tone holding no small amount of caution and suspicion as she remarked, "And I would be most interested in hearing how a Surveyor found himself in this situation so far from home. If you're willing to explain, of course."
Smiling at the poorly concealed - assuming it was even meant to be subtle - 'request' the Gamer merely said, "Oh it's an interesting tale for sure. And I'd be more than happy to share it."
"So you were intending to meet with the Succubi affiliated with Lord Phantom, never made it to the meeting and instead ended up here after you barely thwarted an attempt to teleport you to an unknown location for doubtlessly nefarious purposes?"
"Yup, that's the long and short of it. Not the most promising of starts to negotiations, I will admit."
Having relocated to a town meeting hall of sorts the group was scattered about a large table, Cayman relaying his circumstances to the new arrivals as the older Exorcist shook her head.
"So as payment for helping out the locals I get a ticket out of here, everyone wins."
The woman's sharp blue eyes bored into his own, tone containing no small amount of suspicion as she mused, "That seems like a rather lopsided deal, if you don't mind me pointing out. Are we supposed to take you at your word that you have no issue whatsoever in selling your services for such little compensation?"
Till released an annoyed sigh, Cayman fighting back a bout of open laughter at his Fairy's constant exasperation.
"Sorry, Till, not everyone can peek into my brain-soul-mind thing like you can."
"I'm a Surveyor. The whole point of my freakin' mission statement is to help out and be a nuisance to evildoers and whatnot the worlds over. Besides, what have I got to lose by leaving a positive impression with Eleonor's people and all of you?"
"I hear the Dark Elf part…"
Issei's quiet agreement went uncommented on, Griselda pushing as she bluntly stated, "Your life?"
Thankfully he had a response lined up for that one.
"Again, I'm a Surveyor. I was very nearly killed handling my own shit and the way I see it that's just a fact of life you have to accept. And allow me to reiterate, making friendly connections can be worth its weight in gold if you're in this profession. Weren't you the one who was just saying how risking life and limb didn't seem like a good idea? I bet having friendly acquaintances would help mitigate those odds, now wouldn't it?"
+15 REP with Eleanor [25/100]
+5 REP with Onisaki [10/100]
+5 REP with Asuka [5/100]
+5 REP with Griselda [5/100]
+5 REP with Issei [5/100]
"Did I accidentally commit to the Paragon route? Shit, I figured I was more of a middle grounder."
"Very well, if you're so insistent on risking life and limb then let both benefit and consequence be yours to bear."
"Gladly. Now, what are we looking at?"
Eleonor gave him a grateful nod and brief smile, unfurling a few files and aerial maps, the former showing a collection of mostly younger Dark Elves as she relayed, "We know our foes have Excalibur Transparency and potentially up to two more blades, since to my knowledge there are two more unaccounted fragments, is that correct, Miss Quarta?"
"It is, and we have strong reason to believe that one of these potentials is Excalibur Nightmare, as it was last seen in the Demon World about nine months ago. While certainly possible that it has switched locations it would be well within expectations for both blades to be in close proximity, since they were stolen by a single party."
Cayman kept his peace but inwardly began to chalk up the whole DxD Kokabiel arc as a write off in terms of likelihood. Not only were Issei, Yumi and Shirone NOT at Kuoh with Rias it also sounded as if the Excalibur fragments were being put to use in what was essentially the boonies to capture some people that most factions - if he was to be brutally honest - wouldn't really give a shit about. As far as the Fallen's mission statement of starting shit with everyone went this was a pretty lousy way to go about kicking it off…either he wasn't involved or had some ulterior motive.
Snapped out of his rumination as the unsheathing of a sword drew his eye Issei boldly announced, "Not to freak out, though, I've got an Excalibur of my own~! Say hello to Destruction, everybody!"
Rather than adulation or applause - which he had no doubt expected - all that was heard was a low mechanical whine and creak of hardened leather, all eyes turning to Yumi as the blonde stared with open disgust at the oversized and ornate greatsword.
"Uhh…you got something against its aesthetics?"
"None whatsoever."
With a herculean and obviously disgusted force of will Yumi once more mastered herself, Issei deciding to move past the awkward moment as he further explained, "Those who wield the fragments have an easier time of sensing another, as long as everyone leaves sentry duty to me we'll be right as rain."
He promptly smirked, cheerfully announcing, "If you want to cozy up in order to feel totally safe and secure I'm not against it."
Reflecting that Issei and Vali as they were now would get along like a house on fire - or be dead within a few hours - Cayman watched as Eleonor whipped out a few topographical maps, one of them resembling a personalized fingerprint of elevations as she stated, "We believe the facility where our people have been taken is in this series of valleys, it's well hidden from the air and there are many caves or recessed alcoves that can stymie searches from even an attentive party."
Asuka cupped her chin, inquiring, "Have you scouted or poked around in that area recently?"
"No, we perform routine sweeps to ensure nothing malicious or dangerous has taken root but those are only once every two or three years. And it was only thanks to Onisaki's arrival that we were able to spare the manpower to send out scouting teams and verify our suspicions."
"Got it. Well unless anyone else has a better idea I say we leave as soon as possible and hit this spot before word of our arrival starts getting around. If we've got the element of surprise we might as well make use of it, sneak around as much as we can before committing to an assault."
Issei blinked, sheathing Destruction before protesting, "Wait, if we've got the element of surprise then why are we being all careful and shit? Why not just blow open the front door and save those people all the quicker?"
"Because being cautious and wary might just save not only our lives but those of the people we're attempting to rescue."
Griselda affixed her pupil with a pointed look.
"This is an organization that has evaded both notice and capture for many years, with no doubt several ways of ensuring their tracks are covered. Charge in and spook them, they may just decide not to risk any of their secrets and dispose of them."
Cayman didn't have to look around him to know that Yumi's expression would have severely darkened.
"So keep a cool head and try not to make up for the more bullheaded and brash nature of your two companions, would you?"
"Geez, I get it…"
The sullen complaint was promptly silenced by a harsh glare from the older Exorcist, Onisaki stating, "As much as it kills me to say this the little pervert is right, if there isn't anything else to discuss then we should get out of here as soon as possible."
Eleonor nodded, gathering her materials before stating, "Allow me one hour to relay our plans to everyone, then we can depart."
With the meeting concluded for the moment everyone prepared to head out-
"Hey, Red Dragon Emperor. You said that you would have everything under control since you've got Destruction, right? What do you say we put that claim to the test with a friendly little spar against my bodyguard here?"
-and instead stared with open surprise or intrigue at the offer, Issei blinking a few times in rapid succession as the Surveyor turned to Griselda, smoothly adding, "With your permission, of course. And obviously nothing so strenuous or deadly that it would hamper their effectiveness on this mission."
Rather than scoff or shoot the idea down the blonde simply gazed at the potentially fighting pair, Yumi practically bristling with eagerness and Issei seeming confused at the sudden request but quickly warming up to it, eventually shrugging as she said, "As long as those conditions are abided by I see no reason to object. Assuming they both agree to-"
Yumi's only response was to slip on her helmet with a sharp clack, Issei smirking at the challenge as he remarked, "I'm game, nothing wrong with having a friendly battle every now and again. Especially if it's against a pretty girl~!"
If he was fishing for a response he was left disappointed, Yumi focusing only on the blade strapped across the youth's back as they left the town hall, Cayman gently setting a hand on his companion's arm to slow her down a bit.
"Assuming it's possible, refrain from destroying the Fragment. I just want you to get a feel for going up against one of the things and to work out some of your anger. Can I rely on you to keep a moderately cool head?"
His request seemed to reach the girl, a slow breath escaping her as she briefly nodded, tersely replying, "Thanks. For the opportunity, I mean."
"Yeah, I doubt anyone bought that story, did they?"
He imagined a briefly amused smile adorning Yumi's lips.
"Not in the slightest."
+10 AFC with Yumi Kiba [20/100]
Speeding up her pace she joined Issei in a small clearing, Asuka volunteering herself for referee duty with a cheerful smirk as Lilim sidled up alongside Cayman, lowly asking, "Hey, is she going to be alright? I mean the guy looks and acts like an idiot but he's still the Red Dragon Emperor…and she's definitely acting like she wants to kill someone."
"I wouldn't worry about it, everyone is going to be keeping a close eye on this battle, never mind that Oct and I can snap her out of a blood craze if she goes too far faster than anyone else."
He ruffled the Succubus' hair with a smirk.
"So relax, everything will be fine."
Rather than protest his action Lilim just continued to sullenly stare at the opposing pair, Cayman minutely frowning at his companion's obviously depressed mood, his eyes meeting Till's as they both found themselves at a loss.
Not that he was given much of a chance to comment on that fact, Onisaki and Griselda approaching as the Taimanin crossed her arms underneath her prodigious bust, archly inquiring, "So what gives making someone get into a fight right before a big mission? Isn't that dangerous and irresponsible?"
While much more placid in her approach Griselda mirrored the other woman's intrigue, adding, "That bodyguard of yours seems to have a great dislike for Destruction, is there a past or reason for such disgust?"
"I'd say being a survivor of the Holy Sword Project counts, wouldn't it?"
The brief but noticeable twitch that appeared on Griselda's features was clear as day, the woman quietly sighing before morosely stating, "That it would."
Onisaki merely tilted her head, confusedly asking, "Wait, Holy what Project?"
"Long story short a while back they were a branch of the Supernatural Church that aimed to create artificial wielders of holy swords or relics rather than wait around for them to be born. Or it was to isolate the qualities that designated people as worthy, either way the end result was the same. Results first, safety last. And when they were caught and exposed - much like Griselda stated earlier - they attempted to leave no trace behind."
He motioned with his head towards where his guard was coiled like a viper, ready to lunge at a moment's notice.
"She was the only survivor as I understand it."
The Taimanin blinked before wilting slightly, quietly mumbling, "Oh," as Cayman turned towards the Exorcist, apologizing with, "Sorry about this, by the way. I'm kinda having your apprentice act as a punching bag for the moment."
The woman merely shrugged, bluntly responding, "It will be good for him as well. Honestly, without his two companions that boy becomes easily agitated."
Curious as to whether his suspicions were true Cayman made to ask who those two were-
"Begin!"
-and was once more put on hold as Asuka announced the start of the battle, Issei lazily drawing Destruction…and his eyes promptly widened as Yumi was already blurring towards him, a variety of rapiers and other stabbing implements forming in an arc before streaking towards his body, the blonde herself bringing a manifested longsword down in a killing arc designed to cleave him shoulder to hip.
"[BOOST!]"
At least until an emerald glow ensconced the young man's form, Destruction detonating in a burst of kinetic force that blunted Yumi's assault, scattering the swords and rocking her back on her heels, the oversized sword now held at the ready with seemingly no effort as the brunette grinned, crouching low and perfectly poised to answer any further assault.
Yumi was more than happy to challenge that belief, racing forward once more while crafting a new blade in a flash of light, a dueling rapier similar to the previous ones although when another swing of Destruction caused a rush of crippling force the weapon parted Issei's assault and left Yumi untouched, a frantic riposte from the young Exorcist saving him from a swift defeat as Cayman's bodyguard unleashed a furious and brutal assault now that she'd closed the distance.
"Damn. She must have really taken to Shirou and Medusa's training, this is wild."
While in the original material 'Yuuto' had always been described as having a martial and honorable style of fighting what he was seeing now was functional and lethal in a way even a novice like himself could parse.
Emiya's way of fighting had consisted of leaving deliberate openings for an opponent to capitalize on, subsequently making use of his hodgepodge skills and martial knowledge to react in unpredictable ways…not really a compatible form when you tried to mix it with Exorcist training that had doubtlessly honed certain fundamentals and techniques over millennia of implementation.
But that's where Medusa's lessons seemed to have borne fruit, the binding glue that held two incompatible schools together.
Yumi lunged forward, broadsword streaking towards the male in a telegraphed assault that he was only too eager to capitalize on, using Destruction's heavier mass to push aside the strike and ensure the fragment's lethal tip was poised to run the blonde through. Except Yumi dropped herself into a flared crouch that - if Cayman had tried it - would have absolutely dislocated a hip.
Twin swords lashed out like biting snakes, Issei barely managing to hop back and keep his ankles intact as Yumi somehow wound her way forward from such an impossible position, the brunette inaudibly cursing as another boost allowed him to smash his sword into the ground, pushing away the blonde before a wild contortion of her body had her primly land on her feet, rushing into battle once more and not affording her opponent the slightest moment to regain his footing.
And while she had certainly been impressing him so far Cayman felt the first bout of genuine surprise as her Sacred Gear manifested yet another weapon…this one a length of chain with an elongated spike with hilt on the end, Medusa's tool of choice.
"Okay, that's stretching the definition of sword quite a bit and I am all for it."
Whipping the length of metal forward she wrapped it around Destruction's hilt and pulled, suit and trained muscle yanking Issei forward as a pair of familiar falchions were created over her shoulder, the curved swords flipping towards the Longinus wielder and poised to open up his throat-
-and a strained shout caused emerald fire to shoot out of Issei's body in wavering arcs, forcing the swords away from their target and sending them flipping through the air, yet another boost allowing him to regain his feet and this time pull Yumi towards him, enhanced fist raised and ready to strike a lethal blow…and Cayman inwardly smirked, the angle Issei was at meaning he couldn't see Yumi's back where another set of identical falchions were hidden.
THUD THUD!
"Winner! Looks like blondie over here came out on top~!"
Asuka's cheerful announcement coincided with Issei slowly reaching up to hold the back of his neck, eyes wide with disbelief as a pair of blunted Kanshou and Bakuya swords that he parried not a moment previously dissipated into nothing, the matching pair on Yumi's back also vanishing as the blonde proudly drew herself upright, helmet concealing her features but Cayman able to sense the triumphant grin upon her lips.
There was a lot of magical healing bullshit in this universe but unless you were some kind of insane natural regenerator or had a super healer on hand beheading seemed like a pretty sure fire way to end up dead.
"Good for you, Yumi."
"Wooh, way to kick his ass!"
Lilim's cheer as well as a bit of polite applause from watching Dark Elves marked the official end of the spar, Griselda nodding to herself before walking towards her disciple, Onisaki strolling alongside Cayman as Yumi slowly took off her helmet, the Gamer proudly stating, "Guess those private tutors of yours are paying dividends, huh? Nicely done, Yumi."
+10 AFC with Yumi Kiba [30/100]
"Yeah, way to show that little pervert a thing or two~!"
"See, you're making progress after all!"
The Taimanin and Till's gleeful announcements seemed to snap the blonde out of her trance, shaking her head briefly before replying, "The sword wasn't…it wasn't quite what I was expecting. It seemed weak, compared to how I always imagined them."
"To be fair neither of you were really going at it with all you had. But you've got a measure of your enemy, now don't you?"
"...I suppose you're right."
An invisible weight seemed to leave the young woman's shoulders, any further congratulations put on hold as Griselda and a still sullen Issei approached, the senior Exorcist chiding, "Well? Don't be a sore loser, congratulate your opponent."
Looking as if he would rather deepthroat a cactus Issei nonetheless robotically inclined his head, grumbling, "Congratulations on winning, or something."
Griselda rolled her eyes as Onisaki crossed her arms in clear displeasure at the halfhearted words…although Issei's indignation only ramped up as Yumi seemed to barely register his words, staring at the sheathed Destruction as he protested, "Hey, my eyes are down here!"
As much as Cayman would have enjoyed the continued drama they were interrupted by Eleonor's return, the Dark Elf sending them a wordless question as to what just happened as the Surveyor rolled his neck, musing, "That was an entertaining warmup but now we're getting into the thick of it. Let's see how badly fucked up this little timeline divergence is, shall we?"
And a quick update to celebrate Christmas! Not a holiday themed chapter, unfortunately, but that's what my other stories are for.
