The Straw Hats React to Kung Fu Panda Intermission 2
I do not own any of the properties discussed in this piece of non-profit fan-based material. Any trademarked materials are strictly the sole property of their respective owners. With that out of the way, I hope you enjoy this reaction.
When the crew opened the doors to the lobby, they were greeted with a concerning sigh. All except for Luffy of course, who was still freshly unconscious. It made no sense to them. The scuffle between the Needlepoint's attendant and Bamboo Pirates before had completely ravaged the surrounding plaza, which would have been visible through the glass doors of the lobby. So…
"What? How is it so clean?" Chopper was the first to make his thoughts known.
The rest of the audience stood in silent agreement. In stark contrast to the earlier ruined state of the plaza, now the entire area was in pristine condition, perhaps even better than when they had arrived.
"This… doesn't make sense." Jimbei breathed. "It's barely been two hours. How could they manage to clean that quickly?"
Meanwhile, the less composed among them were starting to show their lack of rationale the only way they could.
"This is really weird! I think I'm starting to showcase the symptoms of 'Can't-stay-on-this-island-anymore' disease." Usopp huffed, clearly fighting off the urge to hyperventilate.
"For once, I think I agree with the coward!" Nami noted, starting to visibly pale. "First psycho-Attendants, now self-repairing towns. This place gives me the creeps."
"What are you even talking about?" Zoro questioned the former part of the navigator's complaint.
"IF YOU AGREE WITH THE COWARD, THEN THAT MAKES YOU A COWARD TOO!" The previously maligned sniper seethed in response.
The audience slowly edged out of the doorframe. There was nary a sound apart from the caw of distant seagulls and the barely perceptible ebb and flow of the tide by the shore. They took a collective breath, and as soon as it had left their lips, scores of people had begun to flood out of each building of the main avenue, as if they were water being held back by an unseen dam. Withing minutes the previously barren plaza and alleys were filled to the brim with people from all walks of life, who barely batted an eye to the presence of the pirates and Marine.
"You wouldn't think that this town was just under attack. It's practically pristine." Franky peered at the buildings, tilting his sunglasses upwards as he did.
"Yeah. We've got the big boss to thank for that." A new voice rang over the bustle of the crowd. "None of this would be possible without him. I guess you aren't local?"
The crew turned to see a stall decorated to the brim with various pieces of paraphernalia that the Straw Hats couldn't even begin to recognise. On appeared to be a stuffed black newt with wings and green eyes, whilst another was in the shape an orange tabby cat adorned in a pair of black boots and a feathered hat. The most puzzling, however, was what appeared to be a hodgepodge between a crab and a man with squid tentacles for a beard.
"Commercial marketing get weirder all the time." Law mumbled, before both he and the rest of his 'compatriots' turned to the source of the voice; a dazzling young woman with silver hair, draped to the side of her face and sparkling like a blanket of diamond. She was garbed in a Needlepoint uniform but wore it casually enough for it to be considered informal. She greeted the group with a smile that was welcoming yet hiding a hint of trepidation just beneath the surface.
"Oh be still my beating heart! A goddess has deemed me worthy to grace me with her presence! I am forever grateful!" Sanji, of course, was drawn like a moth to a flame, leaving his companions to collectively huff in embarrassment and the young woman to recoil slightly at the rapidity of his advance.
"Greeting, madam! I am Sanji! But you can call me your humble servant! How may I assist you today?" The cook gave an emphatic bow that nearly caused him to plant his head into the street side.
"Uh – then… could you please go stand over there? You'd be blocking the line otherwise" She pointed with unsure grin.
"Of course! At once!" The young man the sprinted off with such vigour the ground lit up with flame behind him, leaving the woman completely bewildered.
"Sorry about that. He's just a little excitable." Usopp chuckled, scratching the back of his neck.
"Trust me, it's not a big deal." Her eyes then lit up in recognition. "Hey, I know you! You're the Straw Hats! Wow, it's been sometime since we had big wigs like you here!
"Aw stop it, you moron!" Chopper danced in furious happiness.
Robin coughed. "I hate to interrupt -"
"Blache." The woman finished.
"- what did you mean by a 'boss'? How is this all thanks to him?"
"Ah." Blache nodded. "All this around you was funded by The Proprietor. He takes care of any repairs necessary. The security and maintenance is worked on by the Head Attendant."
"You mean Lumiere?" Brook asked.
"So you've met him? I pity you. Guy's twitchier than a bag of sleep deprived rabbits."
"That's one word for it." Nami grumbled.
"That still doesn't explain anything." Zoro grunted. "The place was in shambles. Now it's not. It doesn't matter how good you are at maintenance; a town doesn't just rebuild itself out of nowhere."
Blache breathed. "Well…" Before she could continue, a glint in the distance caught her eye. Then she saw it. The statue. Standing upright by a street corner, holding an imaginary weight. "… I don't know what to say. What do you mean about a self-repairing town? Those kind of things don't just happen. Now are you gonna buy something or just hold up the line?"
A moment passed. Then the group simply walked past. They weren't getting any answers here.
…
"Ugh! These bindings are super tight! I can barely move!" Fishpole complained as he struggled against the ropes.
"Don't bother. They're pure Manila. Bamboo rope." Yushania hissed. "They've turned our greatest asset against us. Those fiends!"
"Indeed." Captain Shoot agreed. "However, fret not my comrades. The only true prison is that of the mind.
"And the ropes and cage around us?" Fishpole asked.
Shoot sighed. "Yes… those too."
Whilst the observation may have been astute, that didn't mean that his pride was any less in need of further humiliation. Indeed, after the loathsome Attendant had managed to single handedly vanquish most of his crew, the captain had awoken to see all of them bound within the confines of a darkened cage. The only illumination provided was from a translucent glass square hanging above them, that filled the room with a dull light separated by the bars to the cage.
"Just wait until I get my hands on that scrawny runt with sticks!" Yushania fumed. "He's gonna wish he never sprouted!"
"That's not how people work." Fishpole countered.
"I don't care!"
"Whilst I share in your enthusiasm, we must first extricate ourselves from this place and proceed with caution. We couldn't have all been moved by that man, no doubt this island has some heavy security." He looked upwards at the dim ceiling. "What do you suppose that is?"
"I'll tell you what it is, Captain." Fishpole smirked. "It's not a problem. Let me at it and it'll be dust in seconds."
"Fantastic. Then let us get to work." The pirate smirked and a second later he jumped to his feet, the ropes around him flopping uselessly to the ground.
"HUH?!" The crew yelled as one.
"What? Didn't I tell you?" Shoot grinned, before sheathing his previously concealed bamboo knife. "The only true prison is the mind."
….
The Straw Hats and co. huffed in frustration. It had become abundantly clear now that something was off just beneath the surface, but whatever it was either didn't want to or couldn't show itself. They all suddenly felt very exposed, deciding to gather in the back alley of one of the many streets.
"So; we all agree that was weird right?" Usopp said, scratching the side of his leg in anxiety.
"That doesn't even begin to describe it." Jimbei muttered. "She looked like she saw a ghost."
"Perhaps not a ghost." Law spoke. "I get the impression that whoever this 'Proprietor' is, he wants to remain out of play as long as possible."
"Why?" Robin questioned.
"Maybe he's trying to discern whether we're a threat or whether to call in outside help." The surgeon proposed.
"I won't need it to deal with all of you." Smoker grumbled.
"No. If that's the case then why roll out a red carpet? Why this elaborate pantomime? It gets him nowhere." Jimbei thought aloud.
"That's what I can't figure out." Law admitted. "Whoever he is, he's playing a long game."
"We should probably get moving." Nami huffed, feeling a chill prickle her skin. She turned to Luffy, who was still flat on his back in the throes of unconsciousness. "Rise and shine, moron! We've gotta get out of here!" The navigator slammed her heel onto her captain's face, making him rocket upwards in pain.
"What?! Where am I?" The rubber boy screamed dopily. As soon as his vision focused, he squinted; noticing a dark shape rapidly whip its head back over the rooftop, out of sight. "Who's that?! Gum-Gum Snatch!" Luffy's arms snaked upwards towards the rooftop, before vanishing from sight. A few seconds later, the returned coiled around a small figure, it identity obscured behind a white, 'smiling' comedy mask.
"Hey, mister! There's no need to get grabby with your weird snake arms!" The figure's voice was mal, but barely. The squeak of youth still undeniably present.
Sanji stepped forward and flipped the mask upwards, revealing the face of a preteen boy with messy red hair, and a drip of snot dangling from his right nostril.
"It's just a squirt, Luffy. Let him go."
As soon as the snare was released, the boy quickly fixed his mask back over his face. "Gee, that was really gross! I've never felt something so disgusting in my life!"
"Hey! Shut it brat! It's not gross, it's cool!" Luffy snarled back, invading the personal space of the young boy by pressing their foreheads together.
"Ew! It's touching me!" The boy scrambled to move away from the young captain, creating a humorous scene as Luffy gave chase.
"CUT IT OUT!" Half the crew bared their sharpened teeth, as they restrained Luffy, whilst Smoker gently scooped the boy by the scruff of his shirt.
"Why're you being so secretive kid? Why tail us all the way from the plaza?"
"You knew?!" The boy shouted.
"All Marine Vice-Admirals are required to know the basic forms of Haki. I was waiting till these morons caught on."
"So you're a Marine? That's good, so you're the one the lady in the glasses wanted me to find."
A moment passed. Then Smoker drew in a raspy breath. "That whelp. Can't leave her alone for a minute before she starts sniffing out trouble in a place she shouldn't."
"You've got to be joking me." Zoro groaned, feeling the inevitable starting of a headache.
"Madam Tashigi is here!" Sanji cheered.
"And she sent you?" Law questioned.
"Aye mister." The child brushed himself off, before giving a small salute. "The name's Buskin, I know this island like the back of my hand." He looked at the back of his hand for emphasis. "Wait, when did that get there?"
"ARE YOU MESSING WITH US?!" Nami screamed, causing the boy to jump back in surprise.
"Nah, missus! It's my job to be in the know, I'm working to be a busboy. I guess you're a little confused about what's happening here, right?"
"Understatement of the millennium kid." Franky huffed. "How about telling us about this Proprietor guy. What's his deal?"
"Not a clue." Buskin replied flatly.
"I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS YOUR JOB TO BE IN THE KNOW!" The Young Trio of the crew blurted out furiously.
"That's'a no fault o' mine. Barely anyone here knows much about the big man. Only one I know of is Lumiere, but even he's been given the cold shoulder."
"Everyone around here seems to know that Attendant." Robin noted.
"Of course! He keeps us safe from Low Class Pirates all by himself! He gets beaten up and around all day long, but he does what's needed for us. And he always come out on top."
Luffy's smirk rose gently. "Sounds like you think a lot of him."
"Absolutement!" Buskin said in an excited accent. "I wanna be able to assist him one day, make sure he knows that there are people who can help him out if he needs it."
Various members of the party smirked at the boy's innocent desire, yet one detail still irked the resident navigator.
"Wait, you said low class pirates. What would happen to 'High-Class' ones?"
"They're always usually reserved for the VIP treatment. Like what youse guys have." Buskin answered. "They have to follow the same no-violence rule you have to."
"And if they don't?" Law grumbled. "They are pirates after all."
"Well…" The child spun around, before leaning in. "… They say the boss has a really weird Devil Fruit."
This got the attention of the group. "How weird is weird?" Brook asked.
"Weird enough to stop anyone comin' through here looking for a fight." The boy replied. "But not as weird as you, or snake arms there." He gestured to Luffy again.
"Can we shut this kid up now?!" Both the skeleton and captain screeched in unison, before being swiftly silenced by Nami.
After the tension had been partially abated by the explanation, the crew fell silent in deliberation. No one had shown them any hostility, quite the opposite in fact. But kindness was a mask easily removed behind closed doors or through a cinema screen. Of course, any discourse the crew would've taken was immediately routed by Luffy's unwavering sense of excitement and fun.
"Meh, so what?"
"So what?!" Usopp's face contorted into a patchwork of fear and anger. "For once, why can't we just quit whilst we're ahead? We know something shady is happening! Buildings don't just fix themselves in an hour all by themselves! Yet you insist on dragging us through this, when we could just batten down the Sunny and leave!"
"I second that action!" Nami raised her hand, equally fear stricken.
"Me too!" Chopper lifted his hoof.
"Besides, why take any of what the kid is saying to heart?" The sniper continued, getting all the more frantic. "For all we know, he could be leading us into a trap with a devious double misdirect!"
He gestured back to Buskin, whose mask had inexplicably shifted from comedy to tragedy. "I'm twelve. What kinda trap could I lure you into?"
"SEE! HIS MASK JUST CHANGED! HOW DO YOU NOT FIND THAT SUSPICIOUS?! WHERE WAS HE KEEPING IT?"
Luffy responded with his trademark grin. "Yeah that's kinda weird, but I really don't care."
"WHY?" The cowardly trio hollered, tears falling down their eyes in tidal-like fashion.
"'Cause you guys said you needed a break, and these guys were nice enough to give us a free one!" His smile grew even wider. "I'd be a pretty bad captain if I didn't let my crew have some fun every now and then!"
"That's such a nice sentiment. At such a bad time!" The three continued onwards with their breakdown.
"Staying here could be worse in the long haul though." Law murmured, half-hoping to keep the comment to himself.
"You saying you're worried?" Zoro asked with a sly grin.
"As if. If there's one thing I've learned from being around all of you, it's that these kind of things are just an occupational hazard."
"I though you were the voice of reason! Why are you going along with this?" Chopper cried out.
"You're on his crew aren't you. You'd have more luck trying to wrestle a hurricane than trying to get Straw Hat to stop."
"Indeed." Jimbei nodded in agreement.
"Besides, it's not like we can't just hit the trouble until it can't stand up anymore, right?" Sanji breathed, taking a drag from his cigarette. "It'll be nothing we haven't done dozens of times before."
"B-But… But… ARGH!" Usopp started to tug at his hair. "Why does this always happen?"
A long moment passed, before. "Alright, I stand corrected. You guys are ALL weird, not just those two." Buskin once again pointed towards Luffy and Brook.
"ENOUGH YOU BRAT!" Virtually everyone, beside Robin, yelled at the small child, causing his mask to cheekily revert back to its comedy visage.
"Purupurupuru." Smoker peeled his eyes away from confusing display to feel the familiar call of his personal Transponder Snail, which he produced from his jacket pocket. He accepted the call and the mollusc's face immediately transmuted to resemble the visage of a woman in her early twenties, complete with a set of thick-framed glasses.
"Vice-Admiral! I've been trying to reach you! Your Marine vessel was taken without proper authorisation! I thought it had been stolen! So I tracked it's location from G-5, using the onboard pinger snail, all the way to Showreel Island. Please respond so we can coordinate!"
"I know it's at Showreel! I'm the one who took it!"
…
"Sir! That is highly irresponsible! You know we have those coded for a reason!"
Smoker only huffed in frustration." Yeah, yeah. You can berate me later. What's your location?"
The voice on the other end of the line sighed, like a weary big sister. "Just East of the Marketing District. We can meet there."
As soon as the transmitted words has left the snail's lips, a thunderous boom resonated across the length of the town. That wasn't what concerned Smoker, however…
It was that fact that whatever was causing it seemed to be moving.
"Belay that. Rendezvous with me at the plaza. Move!"
The Vice-Admiral then dissipated into a cloud of white fog and rose above the building line, before streaking away in the direction of the plaza.
"Shall we?" Robin asked, before preparing for another mad dash.
"Lets." Zoro smirked, before the entire group sprinted off in search of the chaos.
Buskin was left coughing a helping of dust, kicked up by the group's swift departure. As soon as it cleared, he began to jump up and down in excitement.
"Oh, I have *got*to tell Mista' Lumiere. I can't wait to see him in action again!" He proclaimed loudly, before he too ran off.
…
"This impertinent island deserves every inch of my wrath! Ready the Bamboo Barrage!" Shoot yelled, vicious glee adorning his face. Showreel's temporary holding cell proved to be little more than a stopgap to his attempts at looting everyone blind. A well-timed strike and rush of the armoury was all his crew needed to return to its once formidable state, and with that loathsome attendant out of the way, he couldn't imagine anyone would offer much in the way of resistance.
Two heavy set men lugging cannons that size of tree trunks responded to their captain's order, planting themselves firmly into the ground, whilst a couple extra crewmembers moved to light the extended fuses that trailed down from the oversized weapons. Seconds later, the fuses were lit, and the cannons opened fire on the town's buildings once more.
The top of one of the pure white structure caved inwards from the force of the cannon strike, causing it the fall downwards into the path of some fleeing civilians. A mother struggled to hurry her son, who had trouble keeping up with the rest of the group.
They braced themselves, only to hear a whistle of wind and the sound of metal scarping against stone. They looked towards the source to see a young woman confidently brandishing her sword, the crumbled tower cleanly bisected so that it fell away from the group, before crashing harmlessly to the ground. The mother and son looked onwards in astonishment.
She turned on her heel so they could glance at their saviour. She was young and wore a white Marine 'Justice' coat that hung of her shoulders that contrasted starkly against her casual purple Hawaiian shirt. She affixed her thick rimmed glasses, before taking a confident step forward…
And falling promptly on her face.
"Oww." The Marine Captain Tashigi groaned, before clambering back to her feet. "Please, get to safety! I'll make sure no harm come to you."
Despite the initial hesitance due to the display, the mother nodded and gave thanks before pulling her son away.
"Is that Marine?! Oi! Everyone! We've got company!" Fishpole, who headed the assault grinned maniacally. "Get her!"
"Hey! Back off, you morons!" A voice unfamiliar to the pirates rang out over the commotion and an unfamiliar masked boy suddenly ran into Tashigi's line of sight. "Why are you guys provoking us?! Showreel is open to all, but all you guys wanna do is burn and ruin everything!" Buskin shot his hand upwards, creating an ineffectual shield.
The Bamboo Pirates looked equal parts confused and incensed.
"And now a kid? This keeps getting better and better." Fishpole chortled.
"Looks like he needs to learn his place." Yushania hissed. "Prepare to fire!"
An infantryman readied a bamboo-themed rifle at the child and prepared to pull the trigger.
"No!" Tashigi yelled, before moving to rescue the masked child.
As fortune would have it, the crew arrived just in time to witness the horrible unfolding of events. "Hey! That's a kid!" Luffy yelled, before he too made a move.
The gun fired.
Neither Luffy nor Tashigi made it in time.
Lumiere tackled the small child out of the way of the bullet, still covered in bandages from the last fight, and judging from the fresh graze on his leg given to him by the shooter, he was likely to be needing more. He moved with a speed the would usually have been impossible, given his limits, and was now paying for it.
"Ugh! Buskin! Are you stupid? Why would you do something so irresponsible?" The attendant partially hissed.
"I-I was just doing… what you would've done." The child responded; a loss of breath evident on his face despite its covering.
"You moron! Get to safety. Let me deal with this." Buskin nodded and ran off, leaving Lumiere to push himself shakily to his feet and brandish his sticks.
The Bamboo Pirates groaned. "And now the Attendant? Three's a crowd you know?"
"Ah… the stick-boy." Shoot grinned. "How're your wounds?"
"How's your face?" Lumiere smirked back, causing the captain to flush in anger.
"Urgh! I've had enough of you! Attack!"
"Cease!" Tashigi yelled over the commotion. "By the authority of the Marines, you will all be coming with me under the charges of destruction, vandalism and attempted murder. Don't even bother resisting."
"Stop trying to look cool, Glasses. It really doesn't suit you." Zoro chuckled.
"Roronoa?! Straw Hat?! Trafalgar?!" Tashigi yelped in confusion. "Are you all aiding these reprobates?
"That notion is incredibly insulting." Law huffed.
"Hey!" The Bamboo Pirates complained as one.
"As if you'd know anything about cool, Mosshead." Sanji seethed.
"Oh, and I suppose you're the authority, Mr Nosebleed." Zoro rebutted.
"Can we try to remain focused here?" Nami interjected, frothing at the mouth slightly. "A kid almost got shot!"
"Of course, Nami dear!" Sanji swooned.
"Exactly! Now, before we get off-" The pirate collective spoke again, before…
"I shoulda' figured it'd be you chuckleheads again." Smoker reconstituted from particulates of smoke in the air before brandishing his jitte. "Now I finally get to alleviate some stress."
"Uh…" They collectively hesitated.
"No way." Lumiere noted firmly. "You still want that VIP treatment, right? Then you let me deal with this."
"Wha-?!" Chopper exclaimed.
"You're still talking about that nonsense?" Franky said.
"People are in danger!" Tashigi added.
"If I may-" Shoot began, before being swiftly cut off.
"Kid, I appreciate your gumption, but we don't have time to waste on this anymore. A child was placed in danger, and they are gonna pay for it." Smoker grunted.
"Shall we sir?" Tashigi moved to join her superior and friend.
"Yeah." He simply replied.
"Hey! Don't cut in!" Luffy yelled. "I've had enough of these idiots."
"Same." Zoro and Sanji.
"ENOUGH!" Shoot boomed, drawing everyone's attention back to him and his crew. "I've had an exceedingly long day, longer than any stalk I've ever seen, and I think it's time for my crew and I to be paid back for all our wasted time. So let's get on with, shall we?" The Bamboo Pirates brandished their weapons and assumed a ready stance, completely missing the figure strolling past them in the meanwhile.
"You are right on two accounts." The figure stated with a voice of silk, the heels of their shoes clopping loudly against the white tile of walkway. He was undeniably male, wearing a dark yellow waistcoat over a checkered shirt with rolled up sleeves, casually draping his blazer over his shoulders. He seemed unassuming in his appearance, save for two physical oddities. One was the top hat, stylised to look like camera, with the front lens poking through the front. The other was a necklace of seemingly innocuous minerals; wood, stone and glass among them. He approached the Bamboo Pirates with an effortless swagger.
"Firstly, you shall be paid back for all our 'wasted time.'" The man sat on the floor. "Secondly, this *is* enough."
"What on earth are you-" But Shoot was cut off once again. The man placed his left hand onto the ground, caressing the white tile gently. A second later the tile began to shift and contort like clay, until half a dozen humanoid statues of Olympian size and physique manifested themselves from the ground and fixed their lifeless gaze upon the Bamboo Pirates, mush to their horror.
"WHAT?!" Nearly everyone screamed, completely overwhelmed by the display.
The man sat go to his feet and snapped the fingers on his left hand. "Take out the trash." He said with apparent tedium.
As soon as the word left his mouth, The statues advanced robotically towards the Bamboo Pirates, startling them with the speed they possessed. The crew and company prepared themselves for a fight, only to be confused by the lack of interest the statues showed in them.
"M-men! Defend yourselves!" Shoot struggled to find the words before he hastily order the attack. "Olyreae Harbinger!" The captain brought his weapon down against the neck of the closest statue. It clanged ineffectively against the marbled stone it was made from, before, slowly, it began to get subsumed into the effigy's body, causing him to shriek and recoil, as he too was pulled in.
The man waved his hand around in a calculated motion, as if he were playing an invisible instrument, causing the multitude of other statues to encircle the pirates, entrapping any that touched the tiled foot soldiers in the solid, yet clay-like mass of their bodies.
"H-Hey!" Yushania yelped piteously. "Surely there's something we can do to work this out?"
"Yeah! There's no need to do this!" Fishpole joined in.
"There was also no need to run havoc around MY island." The statues, holding their prisoners throughout their bodies now turned and walked towards each other. As soon as they touched, they started to mesh together and grow upwards to create an even larger statue, the pirates relocated towards its right hand. "You were warned and given every opportunity to stop. But I suppose mercy is wasted on devilish fiends such as yourself. Say hello to your consequences, they're certainly much happier to see you than I am."
"N-NO! NOOOO!" The pirates screamed, yet their pleas fell of deaf ears. The man performed a silent concerto with his hands, causing the massive statue to wind up like a goliath of a baseball player.
"FORE!" The man yelled, snapping his fingers once more.
"AHHHHHHH!" The Bamboo Pirates were out of sight nigh-instantly, the collective set rocketing towards their ship, which cracked in two from the force of impact. It was abundantly clear that they were no longer an issue.
"Or however it goes." The man drawled. "I don't play baseball."
The crew and their collective allies stood flabbergasted by the display. This man has single-handedly managed to dispatch an entire pirate crew without so much as breaking a literal sweat. Their confoundment was swiftly replaced with apprehension, realising that this too could easily happen to them.
"What… what was that?" Usopp breathed tentatively.
"*That* was our security system." Lumiere said.
Robin immediately turned to notice the abundance of humanoid sculptures placed throughput the island. Near the Needlepoint. Around store corners. It seemed that one could not even go a stone's throw without running into an effigy of some kind.
"The statues." She realised slowly. "They're…"
"Ah. So you noticed." The man bowed slightly, removing his top hat, before placing it back on his head as he rose. "Yes, a thankful benefit I gained after eating the Statue-Statue Fruit. I can create a statue out of almost anything I can touch and have it follow my whims. The Sentinels you see around you are a precaution should anything… untoward… happen during your visit here."
"Lummy, who the heck is this guy?" Luffy cut through the palpable tension in the air with his question.
"Everyone, this is…"
"Lumiere." The man cut off the introduction. "I believe I can speak for myself."
"… Of course, sir." The attendant lower his head, the beginnings of shame starting to creep across his face.
"My name is Elgin, but you don't care about that. I am The Proprietor of this fine island and establishment. I trust that my so-and-so attendant has made your stay somewhat pleasant?"
"Yeah… it's been great." Zoro started, slowly. His eye narrowed.
"There certainly would have been a lot more damage if he hadn't stopped those half-baked pirates earlier." Smoker huffed, equally wary.
"Is that so." The Proprietor noted with barely a hint of interest. "Oh! Speaking of which. I should probably sort this place out." He snapped his fingers once more and the Tile Titan melted back into the ground, any excess material it carried filling in spaces left by any destruction caused, like a gingerbread man filling the space in the leftover batter after already having been cut out.
Within half a minute, the slice tower was completely fixed, and the ground and surrounding buildings looked pristine.
"Woah! So that's how the place looked all spick-and-span after the fight!" Franky punched his palm with his fist."
"Indeed, it took some time to pick up this trick." Elgin admitted. "But as they say: 'A Devil Fruit Power is only as strong as the one who wields it.'" He strolled past the group with barely a care present on his face. "Though I will admit, I wouldn't like to keep on doing this after every altercation we have." A spittle of venom dripped on the last few words, as they were aimed at Lumiere's direction. The attendant looked crestfallen.
"I'd also assume *this* is how Showreel has managed to stay 'attack free' for this long?" Law questioned.
"Is that what they say?" Elgin replied, his face contorting into a mask of mock confusion. "Such an over exaggeration. In this Great Age of Piracy, no where is safe. You can't beat back a hurricane, but you can make it appear as though it never caused any damage." He spread his arms out wide to gesture to his surroundings.
"I… don't have the words." Jimbei noted quietly.
Elgin only responded with a brimming smile. "Truly fantastic is it not? Let's not rest on our laurels; however, I believe the next showing should be ready. Shall we?"
The crew stiffened in anticipation for an attack, but Luffy seemed blissfully unaware of any potential danger. "Heck yeah! Let's go!" He cheered, before dashing for the entrance yet again.
"LUFFY! Come on!" Nami yelled, her fear dissipating instantly, before she ran off with the rest swiftly in tow.
"Excellent." Elgin smirked, before turning to Lumiere. "If you would be so kind, please get the shipment ready. I may need it when this is said and done."
"Are you sure sir?" The attendant questioned.
"Please don't question me." All warmth evaporating from his voice. "Just do as you're told." He finished before walking off towards the Needlepoint.
Lumiere was once again left alone. However, before he could carry out his task, a familiar silver haired woman approached him, silent fury in every step.
"Blache! I'm sorry I can't talk right now. I'm not in the most picturesque of states…"
"Stop." With a single word she halted the attendant's ramblings. "How dare you act like nothing happened. My brother also got killed because he wanted to impress you again."
"Buskin is fine, don't be mad at him."
"Oh don't worry, I'm not. You think you can seriously keep us all safe when you can't even look after yourself?" She hissed. "You may not care about your own life, but you should care about his. Think about what you inspire."
With that, Blache prodded him harshly in the chest and stormed off, picking Buskin up from his hiding place. The child's young mask once again taking a tragic turn.
…
Once more, the seats of the main venue were filled, this time with one more space as Tashigi awkwardly set her sword down.
"Sir, why not simply capture them all right now? It seems to be the most advantageous opportunity we'll ever get.
"When I capture these scum it'll be in broad daylight, where I can look them dead in the eye. Besides, you've been worked up for a while. I thought you said you never finished this trilogy."
Tashigi looked flustered. "Yes! But that's beside the point."
"They do realise that we can hear them, right?" Sanji questioned, taking a final drag of his cigarette before extinguishing it.
"Leave them be. It's not like we can do anything about it." Usopp sighed in defeated resignation.
"Good afternoon." Elgin's voice rang out over the projector snail, quickly gaining everyone's attention. "I apologize for any delay caused, but now we can return to our regularly scheduled programming. So join us as we conclude this epic trilogy with Kung Fu Panda 3!"
"I thought it was the attendant's job to do this?" Jimbei questioned.
"Enjoy… wait, what do you mean there's a fourth one coming?" The Proprietor asked to someone barely out of the range of audio receiver. "You could have told me that before I decided to open with that finisher! It doesn't matter! Play it!"
The room darkened once more as the snail hummed back into action.
….
I have become that which I hated most of all. Merry Christmas, and have this Intermission, which is probably not what any of you were expecting. However, it is continuing the mini story of this fic and this means we can enter the New Year with the next film directly, so look forward to that.
Regarding the fourth film, I probably won't attempt it in this fic. It would take far too much reworking with the direction I originally had in mind. That isn't to say that I won't potentially attempt it down the road though, so who knows.
No review responses this time. I'm tired and want to post this, but I want to thank all of you for your continued support. I promise to work hard to deliver.
Ciao
