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Chapter 7
Arren smiled softly as she saw her Apprentice practically running into their training room, shaking with excitement. She couldn't blame him, though. No matter what one may have heard about dueling training from older Padawans, the prospect of carrying a lightsaber for the first time in their lives always managed to send shivers down their spines. She clearly remembered it to be the case when she was a Youngling herself.
Their training room looked as it has for the past few months. Small – enough for two people to fit in comfortably – with wooden panels covering the walls and a dark orange carpet laid all over the floor. And, as always, the utility droids have cleaned the room overnight, getting rid of everything they've left the previous day, and prepared it for their new practice.
On a table at the far end of the room, in a case, laid two vibrosword of the finest craftsmanship – designed and built specifically for the Republic Military. Of course, for training purposes, the Cortosis-weave was disabled, and the blades themselves were dulled. However, they were more than enough for practice. Starting with the vibrosword would allow Raven to get used to wielding a melee weapon without the danger of hurting himself accidentally, and it would prepare him physically as well for the demands of lightsaber combat. The weight of a vibrosword resembled that of a Jedi's weapon, and although undoubtedly different, the usage was quite similar.
"As I promised you yesterday, today we begin your dueling training," Arren informed her Apprentice. "Just as the Force, the lightsaber is what distinguishes a Jedi from other beings in the Galaxy. It is a symbol of our Order and your future status as a Jedi," she continued speaking, removing her own blade from her belt; the silver handle was cold to the touch. "Once you become a Padawan and are officially introduced into the Order, I will take you to the Crystal Cave so you can acquire the Crystal necessary for your own lightsaber."
"When will it be, Master Kae?" Raven asked, barely able to hold back his excitement. His arms were twitching slightly as if he were fighting against his own instincts to grab Arren's lightsaber. She chuckled quietly; the young boy most likely wasn't even aware of that simple movement.
"Once you recite the Code in front of the Masters," she replied. "And share your understanding of It with them. Then, and only then, will you officially become a Padawan," Arren clarified. "And don't worry, the time for that will come sooner than you expect," she added, not wanting to see her Apprentice disappointed more than it was necessary. "And today, we will take our training to the Plains, Raven. I believe the room isn't enough for the demands of dueling training."
Arren summoned the case with vibroswords with the Force and guided her Apprentice outside. They weren't the only pair leaving the Enclave; the first days of spring allowed many others to enjoy Dantooine's natural beauty and not be bound to the building. Even though winter on Dantooine was always calm, except for the poles, of course, nobody desired to get cold outside, and tread through wet ground. Modesty of a Jedi's life was one thing, but it didn't mean they had to make themselves uncomfortable just for the sake of it.
But with the Briths in the sky, Kath Hounds, and Iriazes roaming across the Plains, it was obvious that the winter was over.
Arren hadn't left the Enclave again with her Apprentice since that first lesson when she was trying to help him open up to the Force. Raven's mind was a delicate thing, and the turmoil within it, and his heart, had to be contained. At least, to some extent.
And, miraculously, Arren managed to accomplish that. Or perhaps her Apprentice managed to accomplish that, with the help of her teachings and instructions. Keeping him safe from any danger was only a temporary solution – alienating him from the rest of the Galaxy would only bring harm to him and, possibly, countless others. Raven had to learn how to live with Life around him, and that included everything it carried along. Even the Dark Side.
And Arren had no doubts that It would raise Its head in his heart yet again once they started their dueling lessons. After all, combat was a natural breeding ground for emotions, especially negative ones. Every ignition of a Jedi's lightsaber was a hazard – it meant lowering one's defenses for the duration of the battle. And if those defenses weren't high enough to begin with, the Dark Side could easily sip in, and quickly root Itself within the unaware Jedi's heart.
"You won't be practicing with a lightsaber just yet," Arren informed him once they found an empty, quiet spot on top of one of the many hills within a reasonable distance from the Enclave. As she expected, Raven's excitement dropped significantly. "As I've told you before, the lightsaber is a Jedi's weapon – you're not one yet. Once you reach the ranks of Padawan, you will be using your own lightsaber during our dueling lessons," she continued, not wanting to give her Apprentice the time to dwell on his thoughts. Setting the case on the grass, Arren opened it, revealing its content.
"Except for being a symbol of our Order, lightsabers are dangerous things," she continued. "In Jedi's hands, they can be used to help others – those who cannot help themselves. However, they are also used by those who follow the Dark Side, just like the Force, to bring harm to the Galaxy. You must understand the significance of the weapon you'll one day wield and what it means to carry a lightsaber. Otherwise, it will be nothing more than a tool in your eyes, and that is unacceptable."
"Who are those others, Master Kae?" Raven asked. His voice was hesitant, barely above a whisper, as if he was somehow aware that his question could lead to dangerous things. At first, Arren wanted to dismiss his curiosity, until she remembered the Grand Master's orders from a few months back.
"Sith," she spoke in a similar tone, her words barely above a whisper. And even though her Apprentice had no way of understanding what that word meant, he still trembled noticeably. "Jedi, who lost their ways and allowed the Dark Side to cloud their minds. They are everything the true Jedi are not. Violent, controlled by their emotions and their passions, focused on nothing and no one but themselves. Their only intention is to bring harm to the Galaxy, for no other purpose than because they can."
"How can a Jedi fall?" Raven asked carefully, shifting his weight from one leg to another. His eyes were burning holes in Arren's head, as if he wanted to force the answers from her, despite how gentle his questions were.
"By not understanding the Code," Arren answered hesitantly, taking her time to choose her words. "You've asked me why we're making such slow progress with your lessons, and that is your answer. I could guide you through the Code over the span of one week, and I'm sure you would be able to learn enough to recite it in front of the Masters and share your understanding of It with them, but it would lead you to nowhere, Raven."
"Why?"
"Because the Code isn't something that simply has to be learned. Even the explanation you share with the Masters can, theoretically, be memorized and they would let you ascend to the ranks of Padawan. However, taking the easy route wouldn't prepare you for the trials ahead. The Code is meant to guide you throughout your entire life, Raven, and because of that, you have to understand It. Truly understand It," she added, accenting the word. "You must learn how to use It for guidance, and how to apply It to various scenarios that life will throw at you. If you were to simply memorize It, like countless Jedi have, the Code would be nothing more than empty words for you."
"For example, if you encountered a starving person who has to hunt animals to gain food, you could help them in two ways. The first option would be to give them the meat – the simple solution that doesn't require much effort from you. You would help that person survive another day, and they would be grateful for your aid. However, would it really help them? The only thing you would achieve by that is making that person dependent on you – they won't be able to survive the next day if you're not there to give them food."
"On the other hand, you could teach that person how to hunt. Give them a hunting rifle, teach them how to use it, how to track down animals, and how to recognize edible fruits and vegetables, and you won't make them dependent on you. Of course, such a process is longer and may lead to frustration on both sides, but ultimately, it will bring better results for both of you. And that is what I'm doing with you, Raven, while teaching you the Code. I will never give you food – the only thing you shall receive from me is the hunting rifle and the knowledge of how to use it. Many Masters in the history of our Order have provided their students with answers without making them search for them on their own. And usually, those are the Jedi that fall to the Dark Side because when confronted with life, they had no one to give them the ready answer."
Raven slowly nodded his head, though Arren wasn't entirely convinced if he understood what she had said. Fortunately, her Apprentice was still young, and he didn't have to learn everything in the blink of an eye. With time and care, he would understand what she meant and would recognize the wisdom in her words.
"Come," Arren said softly, urging the boy to approach the case in front of her. In an instant, all the tension seemed to disappear as Raven quickly closed the distance between them and stood right next to the opened case. "We will begin your dueling lessons with vibroswords – it's a standard procedure in the Order, not my own whim," she added with a small chuckle. "Pick one up."
The young boy eagerly dived into the case's content, gripping one of the weapons with both hands. As Arren expected, the weight of the vibrosword proved to be somewhat of a challenge – Raven clearly struggled with lifting the blade from the case, and even when he managed to accomplish that, he still had trouble keeping it up.
"Heavy, isn't it?" Arren commented, picking up the second vibrosword. In contrary to her Apprentice, she had no problems with that, but it was to be expected.
"Yes," Raven replied, allowing his blade to rest on the ground as close to his feet as possible, while still being able to grip the handle. The vibrosword was bigger than him, but the young boy didn't allow that fact to discourage him.
"Perhaps it would be a good place for some philosophical allegory, but there is none," Arren said with a gentle, understanding smile. "Vibroswords resemble lightsabers in many aspects, including the weight. That's why we'll be using them for practice. Over the course of the next few months, you will learn how to hold and wield a sword, no matter what material it is made of. And we will be working on improving your physical capabilities as well," she added as an afterthought.
"How will I be able to fight with a lightsaber if it's so heavy?" Raven grunted, attempting to raise the vibrosword again. The blade stood in the air for a few seconds before it began trembling and fell back to the ground with a soft thud.
"You are still very young, Raven," Arren replied. "Your muscles still don't hold the strength of a grown man, so there is no reason to feel bad about yourself. Every Apprentice struggles during the first dueling lessons – it's just a natural part of life that we can't change. But, as I've said, you will also begin physical training in the near future – that way we will be able to accelerate your body's natural progress, and, in time, you will find wielding a sword an easy task," she said. As if to confirm her words, Arren raised the vibrosword she was holding with one hand, keeping it perpendicularly to the ground.
"First things first, you need to understand what it is you are wielding, young one," Arren continued after a few seconds of inspecting the blade. "The thing you're holding is no toy, and neither will your lightsaber be. I've already told you a little about the significance of a lightsaber in Jedi's and Sith's eyes, but you must also learn what it means to the rest of the Galaxy. For those who cannot feel the Force as strong as you and I do, a lightsaber is nothing more than a weapon – a tool used by those trained in combat. They are right, to some extent, but only because they don't know the deeper explanation, which you will learn in due time. But no matter if you're wielding a lightsaber or a vibrosword, you should never look at them as just tools. If you do, they'll always wear you down, and your movements will be uncoordinated. I know it won't be easy for you now, and you will understand it better once you construct your own lightsaber, but try to look at it as a living being. See it as an extension of your arm, and treat it like that."
"I don't understand," Raven shook his head.
"I know," Arren commented softly. "Many people have problems with understanding it. Melee combat is taught all across the Galaxy, in various cultures and military groups, and what I've told you right now is being taught there as well. Men and women many times older than you also can't grasp that simple philosophy. And, as I've said, you will understand it better when you start practicing with your own lightsaber. Once you acquire your Kyber Crystal, it will come naturally to you."
"Why?" he asked with a small frown.
"I can't really explain it, Raven," Arren smiled apologetically. "This is just something you will have to witness on your own. But enough with the theory. Show me how you were trying to raise your vibrosword."
The young boy's face lit up immediately, as always when Master Kae announced the end of the theoretical lesson and decided to move to practice. He gripped the sword's hilt with both hands, tightening his fingers around the cold metal so hard that his knuckles turned white. Taking in a deep breath, he attempted to lift the sword again.
The result was the same as before – the blade stood in the air for a second or two before the boy's arms started shaking, and soon the weight proved to be too much, and the vibrosword fell to the ground again.
"You're keeping your hands too close to each other," Arren commented. She decided not to mention that this particular vibrosword was meant to be held with only one hand. Raven would learn that in due time. "Try spreading them a bit. That way, the weapon's weight will spread out wider, and it will be easier for you to hold it. And don't grip it so hard, there's no point in doing that. By channeling your entire strength only to the palms of your hands, you will quickly exhaust yourself. And give yourself some time to rest, Raven," Arren added with a chuckle when she noticed the boy was going to try again.
Despite the exhilaration coursing through his veins, Raven forced himself to wait for a few solid minutes, taking in deep breaths. He shook his hands a few times, trying to get rid of the tension in his muscles.
"And remember what I've been teaching you about the Force, young one," Arren continued when the boy was preparing himself to raise the vibrosword again. "It is your friend and your ally. Do not be afraid to turn to It, when you feel you need help. Reach deep inside you, call the Force to assist you, and channel it into your arms. Many Jedi, if not all of us, use this technique to improve our physical capabilities, including strength and speed. Try to do it as well."
Raven took in a few deep breaths and raised the vibrosword again. The result was much different than his previous trial; that time, the blade stood in the air much more firmly, and the physical strain on his body wasn't nearly as noticeable as before. Of course, Arren's guidance couldn't compensate for Raven's lack of physical strength, and the blade soon fell back to the ground. However, he was able to hold it for much longer than the last time.
"Wasn't it easier?" Arren asked an obvious question, earning herself an excited nod from her Apprentice. "As you have seen, even holding a real vibrosword is exhausting. We won't go far with your dueling training today – you have to grow stronger for that, Raven."
"But-"
"Patience, my young Apprentice," she scolded him, not allowing the young boy to finish his sentence. "It is a process every Youngling must go through. Today, I can only teach you the necessary basics of holding a sword, nothing more. I hope it will also help you understand why your physical training will be so important for you. Rest for a few minutes, and we shall continue."
Until noon, their day progressed in a similar fashion – Arren was giving Raven instructions on how to properly hold a weapon, and the young boy was trying to implement them, giving himself a few minutes of rest between every trial. After a while, he was able to hold it long enough to allow Arren to tell him how to wield a weapon. However, every shift of the vibrosword's weight resulted in Raven dropping the weapon to the ground; he almost hit himself and Arren a few times with the dull blade.
Still, Arren did her best to comfort the young boy. She kept repeating that even the greatest duelists of the Order started from the same spot he did, and struggled in a similar fashion. And despite Raven's general dissatisfaction with the lack of any real progress, he seemed content to accept her words as they were. However, that didn't stop him from trying over and over again to move the vibrosword in accordance with Arren's instructions, making the older woman smile genuinely.
But no matter how much Raven desired to keep practicing and make some real progress that day, his muscles eventually gave up. His fingers were numb, and his arms didn't have the necessary strength anymore to hold the vibrosword. He tried implementing the technique Arren told him about – to channel the Force into his hands to increase his strength, but all his attempts turned out to be in vain.
And so, exhausted, and feeling defeated by something every Jedi Knight made look so easy, Raven was sitting on the ground, listening to yet another Arren's lecture about the Force, the Code, and dueling as a whole. Passion, yet serenity, was the third tenet she introduced, explaining everything it represented and how a Jedi should protect themselves from that particular emotion, especially while in combat.
"Only machines do not feel anything during a battle," Arren said. "Most likely, you will raise your blade many times in the future, for various reasons. However, you must remember that a Jedi ignites their lightsaber only to defend, never to attack. And that defense may come in various ways – it will be up to you to figure out if you're guiding your blade to help or harm. And sometimes, that difference may be indistinguishable. Trust the Force and the Code, Raven – these two will never betray you, and you must never betray them."
"And, as I've said, emotions, especially passion, are unavoidable during a battle. It is impossible for any living being to feel entirely detached from the thing or person they're fighting for. If that was the case, the Jedi Order wouldn't stand as a guardian of the Republic, for we wouldn't feel the need to defend it when need be. So, never try to run away from emotions when you're fighting, because you will always fail, no matter how many years you sacrifice to cleanse your mind and heart. Instead, recognize what you're feeling during combat. Naming that thing will help you control it, and not allow it overcome you."
"What does the Order protect the Republic from?" Raven asked with a small frown. From the Mandalorians, Arren thought, thinking about Exar Kun. She bit her lower lip to prevent herself from saying that aloud. Of course, her Apprentice was too young to understand the concept of war; what caused it, and what fueled it.
"People in the Galaxy do not always see eye to eye," Arren began hesitantly. If Raven was to become a Jedi, he would learn those things sooner or later. There was no point in keeping them hidden. For the years to come, he was supposed to remain under her care, after all. "And when the disagreements become too heavy, those conflicts may result in a war. The Republic's history is filled with many such wars, caused by various reasons. However, those reasons also have their roots – emotions. That is why a Jedi always has to keep their emotions in check. You have to understand, Raven, that with our ability to feel the Force, we can bring horrible harm to the Galaxy. That is, of course, if we stray from our path. Never allow your emotions to cloud your judgment. If you do, you will bring harm to yourself and others."
"I won't lie to you, I am somewhat skeptical about teaching you how to fight, Raven," Arren said, throwing caution to the wind. "Truth be told, teaching you how to feel the Force is also a great risk, however, the Council has agreed to take that risk."
"What do you mean, Master Kae?" Raven asked hesitantly. His voice held the same fear as at the beginning of his training when Telos, and Temple Guards were mentioned. Arren smiled warmly, attempting to comfort her Apprentice.
"Don't worry, young one. It has nothing to do with your progress or potential. I can assure you they both are far greater than you realize," Arren said, rubbing Raven's arm. "What I meant was your heritage, Raven," she continued with a heavy sigh. "I'm sure you've already stumbled upon that when you were learning about your people in the Library, but you are the first Mandalorian that has ever been considered for Jedi training. Some species have greater predispositions to feel the Force, like the Miraluka, than others. You are the first recorded occurrence of the Force awakening in a Mandalorian. So, we don't even know how to train you properly. All models of training have been perfected over time to better suit the student's race."
"But that wasn't the main reason," she continued after a split-second hesitation. "There's no way for me to say it nicely, so I ask you to listen to all I have to say before you start bombarding me with questions." Raven nodded his head wordlessly, staring intently at Arren. She sighed heavily again. "There is one thing certainly that the Mandalorians are more prone to than other species – emotions, especially the negative ones. And war plays a huge role in their culture. I don't know which one of those two things is the source of the other but know that your people have waged hundreds of wars in their history, no matter who their opponent was. And every war they've participated in wrought havoc upon the Galaxy. We, the Jedi, can hear the Force better than others. And since all life is connected through the Force, we felt the deaths caused by your people and the suffering that echoed across the Galaxy."
"Recently, two or three decades ago, there was a Jedi Knight," Arren said, taking in a deep breath. "He was an incredible duelist, and his command of the Force was magnificent. However, he had lost his way and fell to the Dark Side, bringing with him countless other Jedi. As I told you, Sith aim to bring as much harm to others as possible, especially the Order and the Republic. Ever since they appeared in the Galaxy for the first time, thousands of years ago, they've been our natural enemy. And Exar Kun was no exception to that rule. He sought to destroy the Order and the Republic, but he knew he couldn't do it alone. And so, he turned to another faction in the Galaxy, which wouldn't turn down an opportunity to wage war – the Mandalorians."
Raven's breath quickened slightly, mirroring Arren's rapidly beating heart. "The war didn't last long; the Galaxy has certainly seen longer skirmishes, however, it was more devastating to the Order and the Republic than anything we've encountered in the past millennium. It was the first time a Jedi led the Mandalorians against the Republic… none of us was prepared for that kind of slaughter. We have won, obviously. Otherwise, we wouldn't be sitting here today. Exar Kun is the answer to all those questions you've been asking, Raven. When you were discovered to be a Force-sensitive, the Council feared the history repeating itself – what would happen if the Mandalorians had their own Jedi," Arren sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose. "That is why Master Lamar took you from your parents and your Homeworld – so we could keep an eye on you, and not allow another Exar Kun to rise. And when I've reported to the Council what happened in the Library on our last day on Coruscant, we've agreed to train you in the ways of the Force, and help you become the Jedi you were destined to be," she finished. Arren's heart continued beating rapidly in her chest. She kept praying to whoever would listen that her explanation would prove to be enough, despite the small lie on her part.
Silence stretched uncomfortably, and it was the last thing Arren expected from her Apprentice after revealing the truth he'd been chasing for the past few months. She watched, heartbroken, as a variety of emotions crossed her Apprentice's face – confusion, shock, despair, anger, and finally, dull acceptance. At that moment, she desired more than anything to wrap her arms around the young boy and give him the love his mother was supposed to give him before her untimely death.
After all, how can anyone say to a six-year-old child, that all that has happened in his life has been caused by adult people's fears, no matter if they were justified or not?
However, her body seemed to be held in Force Stasis. None of her muscles even twitched, no matter how many instructions her mind produced. And even when Raven stood up wordlessly and left the hill they were occupying, Arren continued sitting there, staring aimlessly at the vacant spot. His soft footsteps quickly faded away, and the normal sounds of Dantooine filled her ears. The former Archivist closed her eyes slowly, causing a single tear to run down her cheeks.
Has this been the right moment? Or perhaps she's been waiting for far too long to reveal the truth to the young boy? And if it wasn't the timing, then perhaps she should have prepared herself better for that conversation? Would he react differently had her words been softer?
Dozens of questions flooded her mind, and yet, despite all the knowledge she possessed, not a single answer appeared. Keeping her eyes closed, Arren forced her mind to reach outward, searching for her Apprentice. Fortunately for her, no matter how far he would go, she would always be able to find him through their Bond.
He was back in the Enclave. That's all Arren was able to deduce. However, Raven's heart was torn. The turmoil she'd been fighting so hard to contain was ablaze again, and it seemed that her Apprentice wasn't doing anything to try to control it. Arren shook her head at the thought of scolding him; she doubted even the greatest Jedi Master would be able to remain at peace after hearing what Raven had heard. Some things could only dissolve with time.
But the shroud of darkness that surrounded him made it impossible for Arren to see deeper into the young boy's mind and even prevented her from figuring out where exactly he was. She sensed the close proximity of other Jedi around her Apprentice, meaning he was certainly back in the Enclave. Other than that, she was oblivious to what was happening to Raven.
Instead of following the young boy, Arren continued sitting there, observing him from afar. At least, she tried to do so, given the shroud of darkness that surrounded him. Once again, she saw the dark thread stretching out from her Apprentice. It was more prominent than the last time she had seen it, but Arren decided not to follow it. Raven wasn't a guinea pig or some observatory tool for the Order – he was her Apprentice, her son, and her responsibility. She clenched her teeth, finally standing up from her spot.
What kind of Master would she be if she didn't offer her Apprentice the guidance he desperately needed in times of trials? What kind of mother would she be if she wasn't there to comfort her child when he was in so much pain she could almost feel it herself?
Making the decision in the blink of an eye, Arren walked back to the Enclave. The lack of tested methods for training the Mandalorians didn't mean she could simply give up, and she had no intention to do so. One way or another, she would find a way to help her Apprentice, even if it was the last thing she did.
