I can't be in this room anymore. I'll call you when I can. -Love, Belly.

I grabbed my backpack and shoved a few clothes in it, and headed out to my car. I sat in the parking lot for a while trying to decide where I was going.

The beach house. It wasn't that far, and it would give me some space from everyone. But Jere would be there in a couple days and the thought of seeing him so soon made me feel nauseous.

I could drive to my moms. Steven was probably already back from Princeton though and he would have a lot of questions I wasn't ready to talk about yet.

The longer I thought about it, the more I knew there was only one person I wanted to see. Conrad. I pulled out my phone and checked for flights.

This is literally insane. I thought to myself. You can't just fly to California because your feelings are hurt Isabel. But there was a flight leaving tonight, and my passport was already in the car. Sighing, I bought the ticket and put the car into drive. Fuck it.

9 hours later I was throwing up in the airport bathroom 20 minutes from Stanford. What am I even doing here? This was so reckless. So stupid. I don't even know where he lives. What am I going to do? Just stalk all of the Stanford dorms? And oh, god. What if he had already left for the summer?

I leaned my head against the cool tiles of the bathroom wall and tried to calm myself down. Think Isabel. You can figure this out. I pulled out my phone and started searching for the Stanford dorms. This is hopeless. I banged my head against the wall a couple of times and sighed.

Oh! Grinning, I opened my email and signed into my moms account. Thank god she still needs help with her social media. If anyone would have Conrad's address, she would.

And there it was. I grabbed my bag and headed out to find the rental I reserved on the plane.

I was sitting across the street from his apartment when Taylor called. She must have found my note. Sighing, I let it go to voicemail. I am clearly having a psychotic break right now, and I do not need her being the voice of reason. Then I rolled my eyes. Taylor the voice of reason, how far I have fallen.

I feel like I am going to be sick again. This is so stupid. I really should not be here. But just then, I look up and see him. He's walking down the street towards the apartment building I'm parked across from. My heart drops into my stomach. I haven't seen him since that Christmas at Cousins. And he had left without saying goodbye. He's smiling. He looks happy. Seeing him smile like that eases the sick feeling in stomach. I open the car door to head towards him. And right as I stand up, I see him wrap his arms around a tiny blonde. She had been waiting at his door for him. They hug, and I throw up in the parking lot across the street. They walk inside and I get back into the rental. I really should not be here. This is so stupid. I start the car and drive away.

I drive for an hour before I finally pull into a small motel far from where I emptied the contents of my stomach. The earliest flight I could get back to Philly isn't until for another two days. My phone has been going off the entire drive, but I couldn't focus enough to bother checking it. I dragged myself into my room and slid into the tub fully dressed. I turned the water on and let it wash away the tears as they fell down my cheeks. I let the water drown out the sound of my sobs. I am alone.

Conrad

It was my last night in California before heading to Cousins for the summer when Steven called.

"Hey, man!" I said when I answered. "What's up?" I smiled at Agnes and stepped into the other room.

"Hey, Connie. Sorry to bother you-" "Just ask him already!"

I laughed. "Is that Taylor? Am I on speaker? I didn't know you guys were back together."

"We aren't." They said in unison. I laughed again. "Jere is here too." Steven said. Damn, he sounds pissed.

"If you're calling to see if I am coming to Cousins-" "Everything okay?" Agnes called, poking her head in from the living room. I smiled and nodded at her.

"Who was that?" Jeremiah said. " Is that her? Is she there with you?"

"Is who here? What's going on?" I feel myself starting to panic. I try to slow my breathing.

"Look man, I'm sorry to bother you… It's just… Belly is gone and I just was hoping she had called you. I don't want to get my parents involved unless I have to."

"I can literally hear her, Conrad! Why is she there with you?" I can't breathe. Belly. Missing. I rub my chest and try to calm down. Agnes comes over and takes my hand.

"Breathe in, Fisher. Good. Now exhale slowly." She said softly

"It's not her, Jeremy." Taylor snapped. "You are such an idiot, it's clearly his girlfriend. Look Conbad, if you haven't heard from her just say that so we can keep looking elsewhere."

"I haven't talked to her. Is she okay?" I manage to choke out.

Realization hits Agnes, and somehow her face gets even softer.

"She better be. Or I'm kicking your brother's ass. And yours too, probably." Steven said. And then the line went dead. Fuck.

Belly

It's Tuesday morning. I woke up feeling determined. I spent the entire night before feeling stupid and sorry for myself, and I am so over being the pathetic heartbroken girl. I have one more day in California before I fly back and I am going to make the most of it.

First stop after getting your heart ripped out by one Fisher and stomped on by another? The mall. If there was ever a time to blow my savings, it was now. God I wish Tay was here. I really need to call her back, but I can't stomach the pity. By now I've missed calls and texts from her, Steven and Jere. I stopped checking them last night and put my phone on DND. Feeling guilty, I shot quick texts to Taylor and Steven.

Be back in time for Susannah's garden ceremony, don't worry. Xx Belly

Then I shut my phone off and decided to just enjoy the most of this ridiculous trip. I took one last look at myself in the rearview mirror before going into the mall, hating the sad eyes looking back at me. Time to stop looking back.