The sun was shining. But not as hot as in Smallville. The sea was calm, making the sound of the waves that splashed against the fortress so calming. And a soft breeze blew the scent of the sea in their noses. Lois was relaxed now. Even the pain in her face was almost completely gone.
Lois stroke with her hand over the bruise in her face and felt that it was still swollen. She took her smartphone to use the camera as a mirror and was shocked to see herself…
"Gosh… I look as if I just finished a boxing-match!" Lois murmured when she saw herself. Anyone who looks at her now, will immediately see that she got beaten.
"At least you won the fight!" Jonathan said encouragingly which Lois briefly had to smile to.
"Oh my god… What I have done to deserve you, Jonathan?" Lois asked, her head lowered in shame. "Seriously! You have to hate me!"
"I don't hate you!" Jonathan said before his face blushed, too. "I… I sometimes just ask myself if anything I do is right!"
"Oh, it is! You do the right things! Jonathan believe me, I regret it! I regret everything!" Lois said.
Jonathan looked at the page of 'his book' again and wondered if this certain page was/ will be responsible for his parents' divorce. He could guess so!
"Did… your future self tell you when I will/ would publish this book?"
"No! I didn't have the chance to yet!" Lois answered. "All we know… but that's at least what your father heard the elder Jordan say, is that your book was published briefly before I divorced him. I still don't know if it was before or after your faked suicide!"
"I can tell you… I would never agree to this being published." Jonathan said, indicating on the page he was still holding in his hand. "Only over my dead body! And even if I would, my purpose would not be to force you to divorce!"
"So… you think you wrote it, hid it somewhere, faked your suicide and then someone found it and published it without that you had a chance to prevent it?"
"Maybe? How much is something worth that is written by the son of Superman?"
"Too much!" Lois responded.
When Lois looked at Jonathan, she wondered how quick the time passed since they moved to Smallville. It felt like yesterday when the boy was so small, that she could easily carry him around…
"Please tell me the truth, Jonathan: Are you mad on me? Please tell me, I would hate everyone who treated me so bad like I and your father treated you!"
"I don't know what I am!" Jonathan said, shacking his head and looking ahead on the calm sea. "A part of…"
Jonathan was suddenly cut off by the familiar swoosh of his father flying away. Both looked up to see Clark vanishing in-between the clouds and out of sight. Flying towards North America.
"Seriously? He leaves now?" Lois asked upset.
"He probably just gets the flu-medicine for Jordan from the pharmacy!" Jonathan explained, calming Lois down before she got a chance to be upset.
Lois looked over to her son again and wondered where he learned that? How did the boy become so emphatic and so cool-headed? Jonathan took a deep breath and continued to answer her question.
"A part of me is mad on all of you! Tells me to get away! To don't trust anyone of you! To not to get hurt again! Disappointed! Hurt! Another part of me tells me to stay calm and be patient! Another part of me asks myself every day, what I am even doing in this life? What is my purpose? What is the reason I am who I am? There were moments I really wanted to leave! Leave and never come back back! Screw on everything and everyone and start all over again! Without Superman! Without Smallville! Without all this crap!"
"What you went through was hard!" Lois confessed, a tear running down her face. "I should had been more there for you! Instead, I only cared about my work and led everything your father handle. I should have seen earlier that you struggle just as much as your brother."
Jonathan only shrugged.
"I admit… Our move to Smallville should had been better handled!"
"I was sad, that we move! I mean… From one day to the next, I had to give up everything: My position in the team, my friends, my girlfriend, the opportunities I had in Metropolis… but I thought about the possibilities the move brings! New experiences, new friends, there is football, too and grandma… I knew she would have wanted me to live on the farm, too!"
"Your grandmother always knew what anyone needed!" Lois responded.
Martha was an angel! A saint, who always knew what to say, what to do and how to handle a situation. Lois was always very impressed by her! And there was a mayor thing, that made the bond between Jonathan and Martha even closer: Martha always treated both boys equally! No matter how bad Jordan's mental condition was, or anything like that. Martha always kept sure that both boys got the feeling that they are worth the same.
Maybe she predicted it, Lois thought? Maybe Martha was somehow able to see that Jordan's bad mental condition were actually powers that tried to break through? Martha knew what it meant to raise a superpowered child, without having powers on her own! And Martha always advised them to tell the boys the secret. Did she really predict it? Did she somehow saw that Jordan will have powers one day and was worried Jonathan could feel less worth?
"Your grandmother would have kicked me, your father and your brother out long ago!" Lois murmured. Imagining Martha being with them during various moments, scolding them for their decisions or for what they would have said in these moments. Lois knew that a lot of things would have happened differently. Better not only for Jonathan, but for the entire family. "I mean… our life was not like 'Little House on the prairie!'"
"Well… Little House on the prairie was showing a holy world!" Jonathan moaned.
"Ehm… okay… where do you know Little House on the prairie? Aren't you a little bit too young to know this series?"
"Aww… Grandma loved that series. I had to watch it with her whenever we visited… I tried, mom! I tried so hard to be what you wanted me to be: The perfect human son, who does not make you any worry! And I tried to fit in! In Smallville, in this family… but no matter how hard I try, I ever and ever get the feeling that I am out of place and that I shouldn't even try! When Dad didn't ask me if I want to see his fortress, too, I thought… time will come! Then he and Jordan got closer and closer and start to do their thing all the time. But well… what I little weak human should say?"
"I'm sorry! I should have told your father to take both of you to the fortress! Jor-El was your grandfather, too!" Lois said.
"Why should I cry after a Kryptonian I never met and who everyone always referred as only Jordan's grandfather? I mean… I always guessed he was like everyone else: superior and arrogant! This is the picture I have about Krypton, and that's what Jordan told me about the way Jor-El was talking. One more reason for me to stiff on my human side. I mean it was not difficult: no powers means being human! And I was proud on it! No pain, no need to hold back, a normal life… but I was wrong!"
"You mean…"
"Yes!" Jonathan nodded and crossed his arms before taking a deep breath. "You know… nobody in Smallville knows about Jordan's powers or about dad being Superman! But in school, in the football-team, in town… everyone let me feel that I am a loser. Just for having no powers, Dad said I should be glad that I don't have them. Powers Jordan shouldn't have! Powers even Dad shouldn't have!"
Lois looked on her moody son and understood what he was meaning. Lara made it clear: Being Kryptonian has absolutely nothing to do with powers! Jordan's powers were a coincidence! As well as Jonathan's upcoming powers will be only a coincidence! Clark only has them on Earth! On Krypton nobody would have ever gotten powers!
"It's weird getting bullied for not having powers, while everyone else tells you that it is good that you don't have them. But I tried to ignore it! Focus on what I am good at and look forward. Believing that things will get better. But… first I convinced Dad to allow Jordan to cheat with his powers in the football-team, making my position in the team more difficult. Then Jordan broke my arm, and everything went downwards from that day…"
Lois thought back to that evening… Jonathan's frustration. Jordan in despair. Clark upset and tired. And all she thought about was that she and John-Henry (whom she only knew under his alias Marcus Bridgewater that day) almost got killed in the mines. Maybe that's the reason for her bad reaction in the kitchen…
"I shouldn't have said it!" Lois cried.
"What?"
"It could have been worse!"
Jonathan became moody after that sentence.
"I admit it hurt… I know, it could have been worse! Jordan could had killed Jimmy Cutter. He could had torn off my arm. Exposed his powers? Send to juvenile prison for it…?"
"No… you were the one who got hurt! You had to deal with the fallout of your brother's bad decisions and his mistakes! You were bullied for what he did and… you are right: You didn't deserve to get bullied for not having powers! No… you have sacrificed so much to support this family, even if it didn't give you anything back. And you are right to be mad on us and hate us! You… you only took the X-K to prove yourself to your father and to your grandfather. And to me…"
"After everything I worked so hard for… after Jordan was allowed to cheat… and suddenly Coach Gaines start to prefer those who have powers again. And not only he… First the General tells me to be afraid of my brother and my power and suddenly he tells me directly into my face that Jordan is something special and needs to be supported before dismissing me and sending me away. That was the moment I realized that my whole life is supposed to be a useless bystander. That all his fishing-trips and the time we used to spend together in the past, were only his way to get the Kryptonian-DOD-weapon he couldn't get in Dad!"
Just the mention of her father let Lois flinch. She saw the documents! She saw the proves! She and Clark worked through the stuff and saw what Sam planned to get Jordan's and Natalie's affection. Jonathan was due to his powerlessness just 'wasted time'. Lois didn't want to imagine how bad Jonathan must had felt.
"Your grandfather has never been a real family-man! I swore to myself to not to become like that, but I failed. I am sorry that you had to suffer under his mistakes, too!"
"I made mistakes, too! I should had openly say that he is a liar. I should had said right at that day to Jordan that Sam only does this because of his powers and because he wants a weapon. I mean… Project 7741, Kryptonite-guns, Kryptonite-gas… whenever he called, he always asked straight for Jordan. Not even asking me how I am! But I couldn't… I just couldn't… instead… I went inside, took a deep breath of X-K… and let my anger out on Jordan…"
Jonathan start to cry… Lois took a handkerchief out of her pocket to hand it to Jonathan. Realizing that this was a very difficult matter for him.
"I became Jon-El! The powers made me arrogant! I became mean… I… I should have said no! I should have convinced Candice to stop doing this and try to get her help to get out of it! I should have seen that her father just forces her. But I was so… so angry… on everyone… because everyone ever and ever again tells me that I need powers… And… when the police came to school… Candice was so in panic. She was scared of the people her father works for…"
Lois put her hand on her son's shoulder and looked deep into his eyes.
"Jonathan, you tried to protect her! I know now what a monster Emmitt Pergrande was! You wanted to help her! This what you have done your entire life! Whenever either Jordan or one of your friends in school was in trouble, you stepped in to help! Because you are probably the most selfless teenager in the world! You've got a lot more from your father and from your grandmother Martha than your brother! Powers taken aside… believe me I wish your brother had never gotten them, too… Smallville is ungrateful. They should be glad to have you and instead they don't appreciate what you could do if they only let you! If we never left Metropolis, you could be much further than now! No Gaines, no Smallville Crows…"
"I… accepted every punishment! Because I knew, it doesn't matter that I was jealous of Jordan. Or that he cheated, too! Or that I felt unfair treated. Or that the team was mean to me! I took it… I cheated… I was responsible for it! I could had told Principal Balcomb and Coach Gaines about the other X-K takers? But Balcomb was not interested, and Gaines was just glad to get finally rid of me! And I was back to square one! Back in my status of only being the useless bystander who needs to get saved all the time because he is unable to fight back and whom all require hiding behind his superpowered brother and his family."
"You shouldn't do that! Really… Jonathan, I can't tell you how sorry I am for giving you the feeling of being useless!" Lois cried again. "If my father would have done this to me, I would have reacted the same way! I was just ignorant to see how much I only showed you how to get in trouble to be saved by someone with powers!"
"Oh… you mean the old 'Lois-Lane-gets-saved-by-Superman-on-purpose-rumor'?"
"Jonathan, would you believe me that most of this was only a coincidence?"
"Well… you work with Superman, you are married to Superman, and even before you knew about Dad Superman was always the first one who knew about the trouble you will get yourself because you told it to him on your own!"
"Makes sense!" Lois realized. "Indeed, I always talked to your father when I was on the way to a dangerous research or assignment. No surprise that Superman always showed up on time! Jonathan… what happened at the election night was…"
"Please, forget it!" Jonathan said embarrassed.
"But you have the right to hate me for it!" Lois said.
"Are you telling me that now because of my future self that appeared here last week? Because your future self is here now? Or because of this video circulating on the Internet since the day before yesterday?"
With big eyes Lois looked on her son and wondered where he knows that.
"Where…"
"Mom, this place has Internet access!" Jonathan moaned, waving with his phone. "I read the comments!"
"Jonathan, I am a terrible mother! I should have stepped in! I shouldn't have let this other woman and Coach Gaines… When I saw that video, I suddenly saw how sad and upset you actually where. And I suddenly saw how I reacted to it. No surprise everyone who is commenting it calls me a bad mother!"
"Who published it?"
"I don't know! I guess Luthor has his hands in it to discredit me? He looks for a way to let me look bad person and so he goes the easy way by using you!" Lois said.
It was a huge shock. Obviously one of Jonathan's classmates made a video of the cranky mother's and Coach Gaines' verbal attack on Jonathan on election night. The video also showed Lois siding with the mother. The comments were awful: Things like 'the others took it, too', 'scapegoating-Lois-Lane-style', 'what kind of mother allows others to hurt her son', or 'if my wife would do that, I would divorce her immediately'… worse was that everything the video showed about Lois was her agreeing to the cranky mother! Letting her look like a bad mother… and everyone could see it…
"I admit… It was terrible. I felt abandoned!"
This let Lois cry even more…
"I really tried to… I really thought things get better! And then… I got the final prove that everything was a lie!" Jonathan said.
Lois knew immediately what Jonathan was talking about. The day his father left Jonathan behind alone on the farm to make chores while he left with Jordan for flying lessons. Back then, Lois was to upset about Clark being in coma to understand how much he actually hurt Jonathan. Or how offended the boy must had been.
"The barn-scene?!" Lois murmured. Embarrassed that this event even had a name.
"I still can hear how Dad tells Jordan how proud he is on him. I didn't even get a thank you for the done chores! Never get told that he is proud on me, too for anything! I… finally realized that everything was just a big lie! Our move, his plan to be more around for us, his attempts to be a good father! No he wanted his Kryptonian son to form to his heir! And I was just the genetic failure that came out with Jordan! First grandpa, then you, and then dad! I… I… should had yell on them! I should had run away! I… I really wanted to tell Jordan that I hate his powers! That I wish that he never got them!"
"What your father did to you that day was more than awful!"
Lois tried to imagine what would have happened if she and her father were not away and present that day. What she would have done? Would she have scolded Clark for leaving Jonathan alone? No! She and her father would have gone to Jordan to praise him and to congratulate him! Her father would have continued to do his thing to hire him! And she would have ignored Jonathan, too! She would have done everything wrong and maybe even worse the situation!
She should have scolded Clark and Jordan for leaving! She should have grounded Jordan for ditching the chores, just like she should have grounded him for so many other things. She should have prohibited any more trainings or trips to the fortress and force Clark to spend time with Jonathan… If Martha had been present that day, she would have kicked them all out! Clark, Jordan, her father and her! Prohibiting to ever talk to her or Jonathan again and disowning Clark and Jordan for good!
"I… couldn't go on anymore with it! I gave up! He clearly showed me that my only purpose in life is to be Jordan's alibi and to let him look better! I… didn't want this! I was thinking about merging with my inverse, just to let him listen! But I knew it would be useless… And I swore myself to never ever believe him and do everything in my power to get away… I went to my room, called every friend I once had in Metropolis and prepared to run away from my problems. All while I prayed to God… that Dad has no powers!"
"Your wish came true!" Lois murmured.
"Yeah… And it almost led to the doom of the world!" Jonathan moaned.
"That was not your fault! Believe me… If I had been in your place, I would have told them directly into the face that I wish them to don't have powers!" Lois said.
Lois figured out about the barn-scene much later! And only by coincidence! She was mad on Clark. Not because Jonathan's feelings got hurt, but because Jonathan was left behind alone, defenseless and without ELT on the farm, where he was an easy bait for his inverse-doppelganger or for the mean townspeople. Now she knew she should had been more angry about his hurt feelings!
"When he returned home weak and powerless, I noticed that he couldn't look into my eyes! I didn't get an apology! I never expected that. I kind of expected some 'I know how you feel speech'! But even for that, he was not earnest enough! After the whole mess with Ally was over… and he created this place, I knew it was only for him and Jordan! I was glad that Lara obviously wanted to meet me, too! But I knew he only said that and introduced me to her, so I stop being mad on him!"
Jonathan took a deep breath again and was trembling slightly. Just thinking about everything made him upset.
"I know he was with Jordan on a flying lesson when he forgot the driving-lesson again! And I know you only said 'your father is a bad driver' so I don't be mad on him!"
"I had no clue how to tell you that your father wanted to spend the day with Jordan again!"
"I can officially say: I grew up without a father! He clearly showed me that he only wants his powered son and that nothing I say or do matters!"
"And that was wrong! From your father, from your grandfather and from me!" Lois cried. "If we had done everything differently, maybe Jordan wouldn't behave so arrogant towards you!"
"You mean, when he made fun about my driver's license and my attempts to have a bit more freedom while he is literally able to go to every place in the world whenever he wants? When he made fun about my firefighter-training, and you allowed him to let me almost get fired? When he broke my bones and you… aww… I should hate him! I really should hate Jordan and his superpowers more than anything else in the world. And what I do instead?"
"You are human! You have a heart! You are able to forgive things, that are actually unforgivable! And that makes you a lot better than anyone else in Smallville…" Lois cried.
She suddenly remembered other occasions she clearly showed that she prefers Jordan: Like when she ignored Jonathan's new firehouse-shirt, he was so proud on. Or when she didn't scold Jordan for his jokes about Jonathan's training! Lois lowered her head in shame and start to cry again…
"If I leave your father, would you forgive me?"
Jonathan looked on his mother with big eyes and with an expression as if he just got slapped.
"What?"
"I know this should had come earlier… I mean… I know you ask this yourself, too why I hadn't already divorced your father and leave with you. But… If I leave your father and move with you back to Metropolis…"
"Mom… Don't! I don't want you to divorce Dad! I know you actually don't want it! And I can imagine your future self didn't want it, too!" Jonathan said, holding up the page from his book again. "It wouldn't change what happened! And I know you and Dad are that kind of couple, that not even all forces of the world could tear apart! But… what would you do if you divorce him and leave with me?"
"Move back to Metropolis! Accept the job-offer from the Daily Planet! Sign you up on your former school again, so you can finish high school without trouble! Smallville… has changed a lot since my first visit there! I had expectations, too! Plans! I was thinking a lot about what happened and what I wanted to do! I didn't really reach my targets, too! But… with Luthor's slandering campaign in progress… I doubt that I will ever get a job at a mayor newspaper ever again."
"Well… Luthor didn't get the video of my arm getting broken by the Smallville-Samaritan! So, he took what he got!" Jonathan concluded. "I am sure, as soon as I press charges against… the Smallvillian I want to sue in the future, Luthor will pay a room full of lawyers to let me loose!"
Lois understood that: Every enemy of the son of Lois Lane, is a friend of Luthor! She shuddered at the thought that she will not support Jonathan in that case. She guessed it to be Coach Gaines!
"Shouldn't we ask your future self?"
"She is uncooperative!"
"Mom, she is sick!" Jonathan countered. "I could see it!"
"How?"
"You didn't see it yourself?"
"I was busy getting beaten!" Lois responded, pointing on the big bruise in her face. "Anyway, as soon as she wakes up and sees Jordan she will scream again. After everything your future self told us, I can imagine I am extremely mad on your brother and your father in the future, too!"
"But she won't be mad on me!"
"Oh… Jonathan, no! We don't know what she is planning! What if it is a trap?"
"Mom…" Jonathan looked with this stern look on his mother again. "…do you trust me?"
Lois knew that if she would tell him to wait for Clark, she would only continue to tell Jonathan to hide behind a powered Kryptonian again like a coward. This was what drift them apart in the first place. So, Lois only nodded.
Without saying anything else, Jonathan lift from his spot and went down to the fortress again. Lois was still crying, but before she followed him, she dried her face to prevent Jordan from seeing her crying, too. To her surprise, when Lois arrived downstairs, Jordan was with the whole armchair he was sitting in, pushed out of the fortress by Jonathan and the door closed again…
"HEY!" Lois was scared. Lara locked them out again. And Jonathan was now alone with the elder Lois!
"Mom… Lara is with them! I trust Jon!" Jordan said.
All Lois could do was cry again when a holographic screen appeared where the door usually was, and they could see Jonathan walking over to the elder Lois, who was laying next to Lara on the table and slowly regained consciousness again…