-Chapter 29-
Red vs. Blue
Bean Valley - Edge of the Front Lines
Gina touched down on a hill overlooking everything, Mario and co. sliding off her back. They looked over the edge, seeing various giant Koopa Troop soldiers walking around.
"Mama Mia…" Mario let out. "The whole valley's crawling with killer Koopa Colossuses." He thought for a moment. "Colossus? Colossi?"
"Does it matter?" Luigi asked.
"There's giant Bowser mooks everywhere, we get it," Toad remarked.
Mario shrugged. "Just saying."
"Over there." Yoshi pointed to a building in the distance, one at the base of a giant beanstalk.
"Well, that explains why it's called Bean Valley," Luigi mused.
"Honestly, I'm not even surprised," Mario remarked.
"That must be Fort Jack place Big Prince mentioned," Yoshi noted.
"And look what's comin' out of it." Toad pointed to a cloud of off-colored smoke billowing out.
"Guessing that's not normal, even for around here," Mario said.
"Yoshi guess not," Yoshi said.
"That must be where they're cooking up the stuff that makes 'em giant," Luigi said.
"And where Iggy is lurking with the Blue Hood," Mario added. "We get there, we can get the wand and give them the boot."
"Question: how do we get past all the big guys?" Toad questioned.
"Rawk!" Gina squawked. "Use the box dummy! Rawk! Hee-hoo!"
"But Prince Hugo said only to use it as a last resort," Luigi pointed out.
"Look out there," Gina gestured with a wing. "There's hundreds of giant goons. I'd say this counts as a last resort, rawk."
The group looked at each other.
"Bird has a point," Luigi said.
"Actually, goons big, we small," Yoshi chimed in. "If quiet, goons no see us."
"Also works. Rawk! Hee-hoo!"
"Yoshi's right," Mario said. "Let's go stealth, at least for now."
"Arite then," Toad said. "Let's move."
They tiptoed forward, moving as fast and as quietly as they could and sticking to the shadows.
Meanwhile…
Iggy had just finished preparing the latest batch of giant juice.
"And there...we...go." He smiled evilly, chuckling. "Perfect. Absolutely perfect! Kieran! Get these out to the troops."
"Yessir!"
Kieran hurried over and grabbed the flasks. He headed out, passing MP, who was standing at attention, watching for any sign of Mario.
"Uhhhh… E-Excuse me...Ma...I-I mean, Mr. Blue Hood, sir?"
MP turned to Kieran. "What is it?"
"Uhhh...I-I just came to hand off your giant juice." Kieran held out a flask of liquid.
"Oh good," She took it, sliding it onto her belt. "Thanks, Kieran."
She got back to her watch.
"Okay… uh…" Kieran fidgeted a bit like he had something more to say.
"Need something else?"
"Oh! Uhhh...no...I uhhh… I just...are you...? Are you...really okay with this?"
She nodded. "Yeah, why?"
"I mean, they're your brothers. You only got one side of the story. Maybe you should try listening to their side first."
MP scoffed. "They hurt me and abandoned me. I can't wait to fight them."
Kieran tilted his head. "Lord Bowser's the one who told you that. The guy who Mario defeated, who has personal reasons to hate him? I'm just saying that he's not exactly the best guy to go to for an unbiased point of view."
"I trust Lord Bowser."
"I-I know, I just-"
"Kieran!" Kieran jumped at Iggy's voice. "Stop goofing off and get back to work!"
"Y-yessir!" Kieran took off.
MP turned back to her watch, but despite herself, somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew Kieran had a point. She put a hand to her head, the red in her eyes flickering faintly. At that moment, she noticed some suspicious movement in the distant foliage. She narrowed her eyes, activating the telescopic and infrared sights of her Soot's helmet, revealing four figures.
"Mario…" Her eyes narrowed, the red returning in full force. "Troopas, to me. We're intercepting some intruders. You can have whomever you want, but Mario is mine."
-X-
On the ground, the heroes had inched closer to Fort Jack.
"Alright, here we are," Mario said.
"So, how do we do this?" Toad asked.
"We need to figure out how these guys are so big," Luigi replied.
"Maybe power-up?" Yoshi suggested. "They make one in smoky house?"
"In that case, how are they making it?" Mario pondered. "Iggy went through the trouble of setting up his lab here, so whatever he's using to make it has to be somewhere nearby."
Luigi looked down at the box. "I wonder…"
There was a loud crashing noise as a massive Koopa shell tore through the jungle, barely missing them.
"Yipe!" Mario yelled.
"BANZAI!" The group looked up to see a Goomba leaping into the air, preparing to head-bonk them.
"They found us!" Toad cried.
"Yoshi noticed!" Yoshi replied.
Then, someone landed before them superhero-style.
"Mario Brothers…" the Blue Hood greeted. "We meet again."
"Oh boy…" Luigi managed.
Mario's fists clenched. "I've been looking forward to seeing you again."
"As have I," They both took a fighting stance. "Don't expect to run away so easily this time."
Mario scoffed. "I'm not running away by the end of this, Blue. You are."
"We'll see about that. Troopas! You know what to do!"
"Yes, Commander Hood!"
The Troops immediately went after Luigi, Toad, and Yoshi, chasing them off. With that done, the Hood turned to face Mario.
"Your move." He primed his blaster.
"Alright, buddy. Let's-a go!"
Mario charged forward, dodging ice blasts until he got close enough. He plowed into the Hood in a classic Goldberg-style spear, knocking him off his feet.
"Not bad," the Hood replied. "But not enough!"
He knocked Mario off, getting to his feet. The two got into a grapple, Mario slamming him between the wall of Fort Jack and a tree before the Hood got his footing, shoving him back before, still holding onto each other, they smashed through the wall of the fort. They both fell, picking themselves up. Mario then looked up, seeing the beanstalk.
"You're strong, sure, but let's see how agile you are in all that armor!" He jumped up the beanstalk and began climbing from leaf to leaf. "Catch me if you can!"
"I'll make you eat those words!" The Hood began jumping after him.
Elsewhere, Luigi, Yoshi, and Toad were fleeing from the giant minions. Another Koopa whizzed past them.
"Luigi, maybe now would be a good time to use the box!" Toad cried.
"Right! The box!" Luigi pulled the lid off, revealing a mushroom with a turquoise cap and white spots (1).
"A mushroom?" Yoshi asked.
"That's the big prototype?" Toad questioned. "I was expecting something more... flashy."
"He did say it was a prototype. But it doesn't matter!" Luigi snatched it out, cramming it into his mouth… and nothing happened.
"Feel any different?" Toad asked.
"Not really."
"There they are!"
The group looked around to see they were surrounded by giant minions, all ready to strike.
"Any last requests?" a Koopa Troopa asked.
"Yes, actually," Toad answered. "Could you look the other way and just let us go, please?"
The minions all laughed in response.
"Well, it was worth a shot."
"Enough!" the Goomba yelled. "Let's hurry up and splatter their spores and not spores all over the forest already!"
"Dude, seriously!?" the Koopa snapped.
The Goomba winced. "Right, sorry..."
The Koopa shook his head. "You really should go back to therapy, man."
The Goomba nodded. "Yeah...okay. But first!" He leapt into the air, laughing evilly. "Say Headbonk, losers!"
The heroes watched as the Goomba prepared to crush them… when suddenly, Luigi felt a thrum through his body, and suddenly, his hands were massive, catching the Goomba. The minions gasped.
"Whoa!" Yoshi exclaimed.
"Holy shiitake!" Toad cried.
"Wh-What in the Underwhere is this!?" The Goomba demanded.
"I don't know." Luigi felt the thrum growing stronger. "But I like it!"
Luigi spun around with the Goomba, tossing him aside. As he did, the rest of his body started catching up.
When it was over, he was about the same size as Hugo, dwarfing the grown minions
"Whoa…" Toad let out. "That's one mega mushroom!"
"No...way!" a Koopa gasped.
"He's huge!" a second Koopa let out
"S-So what!" the Goomba stammered. "He's just one guy! One really, really big guy..."
"Eyup!" Luigi smirked. "Now then…" He reached down and picked up the Goomba. "You wanna go for a ride?"
"NO! No, I-"
"Sixty-four! Eighty-seven! Three! HIKE!"
He threw the Goomba like a football. As it went screaming into the horizon, Luigi turned to the other minions. "Who's next?"
They all screamed and ran for their lives. As they did, Luigi leaned down, scooping up Toad and Yoshi.
"Now let's go back up Mario."
Mario and the Blue Hood continued their race up the beanstalk, Mario remaining just ahead of his pursuer. He hopped once, then twice, then performed a high jump, performing multiple flips and sticking the landing with a laugh (2). As he did, Blue Hood fired ice blasts at him.
"Get back here!" the Hood yelled.
"Try and catch me!" Mario taunted.
"Then stop running away, you grasso codardo! (3)"
Mario perked at the Italian words but pushed it to the back of his head as he kept jumping. Eventually, he reached the top of the beanstalk, landing on solid clouds. As the Blue Hood came springing up, Mario squatted down and sprang diagonally upwards with his fist extended, cracking the Hood in the face, reversing his momentum and sending him flying back (4). As the Hood got his bearings and stood up, he chuckled.
"You're good. Even better than I remember. It'll make it more satisfying when I blast your ass all the way back to the Mushroom Kingdom."
Between the familiarity in his tone and their previous Italian words, Mario narrowed his eyes, realizing there was perhaps some merit to Luigi's suspicions. "Who are you?"
The Hood wagged his finger. "Not yet, Super Mario. Why spoil the surprise when the game's only at halftime? But I'm afraid your game ends here!"
He charged, but Mario hopped over him, the two circling each other.
"You only won last time because I was crazy from the desert heat and underestimated you. I'm ready for you now, Hoodie!"
"Oh, Mario… you're gonna regret underestimating me."
The fight continued, the two trading punches back and forth. As one of the Hood's swings missed, Mario jumped up, coming down with both hands clasped in a double-axe handle. He pounded the Hood right on the head with enough force to make his metallic helmet ring. The Hood fell, their voice mod glitching badly for a minute, and then they shakily got to their feet
"Mario...? What's-"
With the voice mod glitching, the blue hood almost sounded... feminine.
"You're a... girl?" Mario perked. "Wait... that voice... it can't be."
Just then, a massive hand grabbed onto the cloud they were on. Luigi pulled himself up.
"Mario!"
"Lu?!"
The cloud buckled and the Blue Hood lost their footing. They fell with a scream, hitting a leaf on the way down and rolling off of it. Luigi pulled the cloud so Mario was eye lever
"What'd I miss?"
-X-
Below, the Hood hit several more leaves as they tumbled down the beanstalk before finally crashing through the fort, landing amidst a pile of rubble. They groaned but did not get up. Iggy ran over, seeing the Hood unconscious.
"No way... Mario actually beat the Hood?" He pulled the hood off, revealing Mary Pat's bruised, bloody face. "Oh Grambi… Not good! Kieran! Kieran, where are you!?"
"Right here, sir!" Kieran ran over. "Oh, man! Is she...?"
Iggy felt her neck for a pulse. "No... she's alive. Barely. We gotta get her back to the castle!"
He heard footsteps approaching.
"Crap... it's the Toad and Yoshi!" He put MP's helmet back on, handing her back to Kieran. "I'll handle them! You get her to the Warp!"
"Yessir!" Kieran hoisted her up with surprising strength, running for the Warp Zone and emitting rapid "Hee-hos!" as he did, just as Yoshi came running in with Toad on his back.
"Game over, Iggy!" Toad hopped off Yoshi, pointing at the Koopalng dramatically. "Hand over the wand if you don't want the beating of your life!"
Iggy looked over Toad, then Yoshi, before bursting out laughing. "You're kidding, right?"
"What?" Toad asked, eyes narrowed.
"Buddy, I'm Iggy Koopa, the fourth-born son of King Bowser and mad scientist extraordinaire. You're just some mushroom man and a weird...turtle...dinosaur...thing. You got no chance!"
Iggy pulled out his wand, spinning it around. "Eat fireballs, spore-for-brains!"
He unleashed several green fireballs at Toad and Yoshi.
"Heads up!" Toad shouted.
He and Yoshi dodged the fireballs.
"Ha! Nice try, Science Guy!" Toad's confidence faded as Iggy gave an evil smile.
"Why Glasses-Koopa smiling?" Yoshi questioned before sniffing the air and cringing at whatever he smelled. "Oooh... who cut cheese?"
Iggy pointed, releasing the embers of the fireballs emitting some kind of fumes.
"What the...?" Toad and Yoshi started wobbling, their vision going blurry "Uuuuugh..."
"Yoshi not feel good."
"Ooh, that was fast," Iggy smirked. "Did I forget to mention my flames are toxic?" (5)
"Toxic!?" Toad exclaimed before breaking out into a fit of coughing.
"Yeah, I slip in some junk magic into my fire spells. That, and we Royal Koopas (6) can emit noxious gas at will. Though between you and me, King Dad is the best at it.
"Noxious is...right..." Toad gagged, clutching his throat as he fell backward.
"Yoshi...can't...breathe." Yoshi soon joined him, falling on his stomach with his tongue sticking out.
"Never... thought I'd go out... this way…"
Iggy smirked, lording over the two fallen heroes as he prepared to watch them choke. "Any last words?"
"Two, actually." Toad gestured with his thumb, pointing upwards. "Look up."
Iggy blinked at that, then slowly looked upward. When he did, he was greeted by the sight of a massive Luigi in mid-air, preparing to crash land on top of him.
"Gah! What the-!?"
"Prepare to meet your maker!" Luigi bellowed.
"Kotabe-san?" (7)
Luigi flipped in the air, coming down butt first (8). Seeing this, and knowing there was no way for him to flee in time, Iggy pulled a little green parasol from his shell, opened it, and braced for impact. Seconds later, the giant Mario Brother slammed down on top of him with an earth-shaking kaboom. The resulting shockwave doused the flames and scattered the toxins, allowing Toad and Yoshi the chance to breathe. As they coughed and slowly shook off the worst of the poison's effects, Luigi stood up, a flattened Iggy plastered to his overalls like a squashed bug. He let out a weak, squealing gasp as he peeled off, floating to the ground before popping back into a 3-D shape.
"Look Ma, I'm roadkill," he let out, dazed and confused as he stumbled around a bit. "Ow…"
Luigi stomped up, raising a foot. "Fee fi fo fat. Hand over the wand or I'll squash you flat!"
Everyone looked at him oddly, including Mario, who slid down the beanstalk
"'Fe fi fo fat'?" he repeated. "Really?"
"It was the only f-word I could think of that rhymes with flat."
"Of course, Ma, whatever you say…" Iggy held out the wand, which Luigi took in two fingers.
"A-thank you, you've been very helpful."
"Yaaaaay… Bleh..." Iggy dropped to the ground, out cold.
"Nice one, bro," Mario complimented before glancing around the area. "Where's the Blue Hood?"
"Shy Guy in black was running away with Hood man when we came in," Yoshi answered, weakly waving off in the distance.
"They must be heading back to the Dark Lands," Toad surmised.
"We'll get them later." Mario glanced at the wand in Luigi's fingers. "For now, let's get this wand back to Prince Hugo."
Prince Hugo's Castle
At the castle, Mario finished waving the wand. A moment passed before, in a puff of smoke, Hugo stood before them again in his true form.
"Oh, thank Grambi…" he sighed. "Being a miniature poodle is not fun.
"Not as fun as being poisoned." Toad deadpanned before coughing.
"Oh dear, one moment," Hugo turned to his soldiers, who brought out some mushrooms with white-spotted green caps. "Here, eat some 1-Ups."
Toad and Yoshi immediately took them, sighing in relief as they took effect. As they did, Luigi returned the small wand to him.
"I'm surprised the wand of a giant prince is so small," the green-clad brother admitted.
"It's not, normally. Iggy shrank it when he stole it. Otherwise, he'd never be able to wield it."
"Rawk! Would have been funny though! Hee-hoo!"
Hugo focused on the wand and it grew in his hand. Once it was full-sized, he looked Luigi over as if just realizing he was giant-sized.
"Oh yes, I almost forgot. How did the prototype work? The mushroom?"
"It was a little slow to activate, but when it did, it saved the day," Luigi replied.
"Seriously, it was super cool!" Toad exclaimed. "Luigi turned giant and sent all the baddies running! You got any more?"
"I'm afraid not."
"Awww..." Toad slumped before shrugging. "Well, once you do, send some our way. Those Mega Mushrooms are a Grambi-send."
"Mega Mushrooms..." Hugo nodded. "Not a bad name."
"Beats Super-Duper Mushrooms. Rawk!"
"Eh, I don't know if I want to be big all the time," Luigi said. "I'm always afraid I'll step on something."
"Right. Allow me to fix that."
Hugo looked him over as if trying to figure out a solution. He then perked before gently tapping Luigi on the head. Sparkles tickled Luigi's nose and he sneezed. And when he did, he shrank back to his normal size, being caught by Hugo and deposited back with the others.
"So... what was Iggy after here anyway?" Mario questioned as he helped steady his brother.
"I heard talk," Hugo replied as he straightened up. "Their big plan was to chop down the beanstalk at Fort Jack.
"Wait, what?" Toad shook his head at that. "No, they weren't. They were just standing around and guarding the place while they worked on whatever was making them giant. They didn't even have any cutting tools!"
Hugo looked confused. "Really? But our scouts overheard them discussing that."
"Well, they weren't."
"But why do that?" Yoshi pondered.
Toad shrugged. "Beats me. Something's up here."
"Something smells fishy, that's for sure," Luigi agreed.
"For now, where to go next?" asked Mario.
"The Cloud Kingdom," Hugo replied. "Iggy's bully of a brother Roy is in charge there."
"Then that's where we're heading!" Mario declared.
"And we just got back from there too," Toad sighed.
"Before we go, there's something I need to talk to Luigi about," Mario said. "In private."
He took Luigi's arm, leading him to another room."
"What's up?" Luigi questioned.
Mario sighed. "Lu... you were right. Something's definitely not right with the Blue Hood."
"I know."
"I managed a hit on them... and when I did, their helmet glitched, and I heard their voice. Blue Hood... is a girl."
"A Samus scenario, eh?"
"There's more. The way she talked to me... she knows us. Personally."
"How's that possible?" Luigi then paused. "Do you think…"
"No. There's no way. It couldn't be." Mario began to sweat worriedly. "Besides, all we have are theories and what-ifs. We don't have all the facts yet. Until we're 100% sure, not a word about this to Toad or Yoshi."
Luigi nodded in response. "But bro... if it is her, why is she with Bowser's minions?"
"We're gonna find out. And if they did anything to her…" Mario's fists clenched. "I'm gonna knock those bastardos' teeth out, one by one, and make them eat them."
The Dark Lands
Kieran was running like a madman through the castle, carrying Mary Pat's unconscious form in his arms.
"Where's Kamek!? Gotta find Kamek! Gotta find where Kamek is!"
He headed for Kamek's room, throwing the door open. "Kamek!"
"What the...Kieran!?" Kamek spun around. "What the D-Man are you doing...!?"
"It's Mary Pat! The Mario Bros. knocked her off the Fort Jack beanstalk! She's hurt really bad!"
"Oh my..." Kamek stood up. "To the infirmary, quickly!"
They hurried to the infirmary, where Mary Pat was placed on a bed. Kamek looked her over, setting her up with an IV and various monitors. Once that was settled, he glanced at her IV bag, brow furrowing as he worked out if his plan was feasible. After a moment, he nodded before reaching into his robe, pulling out a glowing lime-green potion.
"Wait... what is that?"
Kamek perked, looking to see Kieran still standing there.
"Oh…" he managed. "I forgot you were still here."
Kieran thought for a moment, recalling the lab tests Iggy had him run, before perking.
"Wait a sec... The residual goop in that teacup... that's Lame Brain! That mind control potion Morton Sr. used to use! Is that why MP is so evil and crazy toward her own brothers?"
Kamek sighed. "It appears the cat's out of the bag."
"Are you out of your mind, Kamek?!" Kieran demanded. "You know Lord Bowser outlawed the production of that serum! When he finds out what you've been doing-"
Suddenly, Kieran was surrounded by a halo of energy, Kamek pulling him over.
"My dear Kieran, I believe you mean if he finds out."
"But..."
"Because if Lord Bowser or the Koopalings confront me about it, I'll know it was you who told them. I'll come for you... and make what your Jaydes-spawn of a mother put you through before joining the R&D division look like a perfect childhood." Kamek placed the tip of his wand threateningly against Kieran's chin like a pistol. "Do I make myself clear?"
Kieran let out a shriek of terror.
"What was that?"
"Y-Yes! Crystal! Clear! Yes!"
"Good." Kamek dispelled the halo, dropping Kieran. "You saw nothing, and you will not say a word about this to anyone. Now get back to work."
As Kieran scurried off, Kamek lifted the Lame Brain potion, adding it to Mips' IV drip.
"This time, no holding back. After all, her brothers just tried to end her game, so it's only fair she ends theirs in turn." He grinned, the light glinting off his glasses in a sinister fashion. "No more chances, no more mercy. When you awaken, Mary Pat… kill Mario."
MP fidgeted in her sleep as Kamek's cackle filled the halls.
Author's Note:
(1): The original design for the Mega Mushroom as seen in Mario Party 4. We went with it considering it's a prototype design here; the design from New Super Mario Bros. onward will appear later.
(2): Yep, the Triple Jump.
(3): Fat bastard.
(4): Yep, the Super Jump Punch.
(5): Reference to Bowser's Poison Gas attack from Super Mario RPG and his poisonous bite in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door.
(6): My name for the specific Koopa sub-species Bowser and his family are; horns, spiny shells, fire breath, etc.
(7): A reference to one of the first sketches in which the Koopalings can be seen, a result of the collaboration between Yoichi Kotabe and Takashi Tezuka.
(8): Yep, the Ground Pound.
That's right! Kamek has been spiking MP's drinks and the like with mind control serum. The name comes from the Lame Brainer, a mind control helmet used in The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3. And as you can probably tell by Kieran's comments of it being outlawed, Bowser has no idea he's doing it; Kamek is acting on his own.
What will happen next? Can Mary Pat be saved? Will Mario and Luigi be able to thwart Roy's plans in the Cloud Kingdom? Stay tuned; the answers will come next time. Till next time, everybody. Please R&R.