Sending letters:
It was five days before everyone who was at Grimmauld place saw Hedwig fly into the room. Harry had been told to write every three days, yet it was five days before he wrote. No one who was at the house was sure if he was writing late just to let everyone know he was angry or something was going on where he couldn't write. They really hoped nothing had happened.
Hedwig landed on Dumbledore's head. When the headmaster took the letter, Hedwig grabbed a heap of Dumbledore's hair as it flew off, with a large clump of hair in it's talons. Albus had yelled loudly before rubbing his now bald spot that had no hair.
'Why would Hedwig do that? She's normally so nice,' Hermione said watching Hedwig as she flew away.
'I would say since it was Dumbledore that made Harry return to the muggles and told us that we couldn't write, Harry is showing his displeasure at him,' Remus said giving Albus a grin, 'It's something James would have done. I believe you've unleashed that side of Harry, Albus, James' pranking side.'
Albus sighed but he got up and left the house, without bothering to read the letter from Harry.
Arthur took the letter and opened it, 'Um, there's nothing but squiggly lines all over the parchment.'
Everyone looked at the letter when Arthur turned it around to show them.
'Harry did speculate that parseltongue might be a written language. I would say he figured out it was,' Hermione said.
'Why write it like that when we can't read it?' Ron asked with a huff.
'Because we aren't writing to him so he has made sure we cannot read his letter,' Remus said, 'We all said Albus is wrong to isolate Harry,' Remus saw the look on Molly's face, 'I should say that most of us, the ones that really care for Harry, believe it's wrong to leave Harry isolated and alone after he saw Sirius die,' Remus said staring coldly at Molly before getting up and leaving the room.
'He's right, Harry should be here, with us,' Tonks said before getting up and following Remus out of the kitchen.
Hermione, Ron, Ginny and the twins hurried to leave the room before Molly Weasley went off. They all knew she would after what Remus said and the look the man had given Molly. She was one of the only ones that supported Albus when it came to Harry. Not one other person thought Albus was right.
It was the following morning just as Molly was about to begin making breakfast that Hedwig dropped a rather disgusting and smelly letter on top of Snape's head before flying off.
As he went to start shouting, the room began to fill with water.
'Ow, something just bit my toe,' Ginny said, before she yelled again, 'Something is trying to eat my toes.'
'Me too,' Ron said as he jumped up onto one of the chairs. Within minutes, everyone in the kitchen had either climbed up on chairs or ran from the room.
'Look, there's things moving around in the water,' Arthur said pointing down at the now knee high watcher.
'We need to get out of the kitchen then work out how to drain the room,' Molly said.
'Don't bother, all the rooms are the same,' Kingsley yelled from the other room. There was more yelling, from the upper floors, all had water and all had things in the water that was trying to eat them.
The occupants of Grimmauld place, which included some of the order of the phoenix, Snape, McGonagall, Dumbledore, the Weasley's, Tonks, Remus, Kingsley, Mad-eye, Hestia and Dedilius had to remain sitting on standing up on cupboards or chairs until early evening. They had not be able to eat or use the bathroom.
Many were trying to convince Albus that maybe there was a jinx on the house, done by one of the Blacks. Something that would activate if no Black or family member was there and others were. Remus told Albus that the Blacks had many nasty wards so it is possible there was a curse. The house now belongs to Harry yet he is not there. No one at the house at that time was the owner or a blood family to the Blacks. Tonks was but her mother had been cast out of the family so she wasn't picked up as a Black.
Like always though, Albus said he was sure that someone was pulling a prank and it was probably Harry. When the water was gone, Albus left with a furious Snape and Minerva.
The following morning, as Molly began to gather everything for breakfast, Hedwig flew in and dropped a letter onto the table in front of Remus before flying off.
Remus read the letter to himself before handing it to Tonks. She read it and handed it to Arthur.
'Do you think he's telling the truth or trying to make us feel bad?' Arthur asked.
'I believe it's true,' Remus said before getting up and leaving the room, Tonks followed him.
'What did it say Arthur?'
'Harry asked if we could send him some food as the Dursley's are only giving him one piece of toast of a morning and that's all. He also asked for a bucket since they won't unlock the door so he can use the bathroom.'
'He's lying, they treat him like a prince while he lords over them,' Snape snarled as he entered the room with Albus and Minerva.
'Maybe someone should check, to make sure,' Bill said.
'I will go tomorrow,' Albus said as he took a seat around the table.
When Molly loaded up the table with food, everyone made their way to the kitchen. Within minutes, everyone was spitting out their food. Some were yelling saying it tastes like sand, others said it tastes like dirt, a few said it was pepper and some said it tastes like slugs. Then all the food began to smell before it changed into a lot of shit.
Albus cast many spells over the transfigured food but could not find out why such wonderful looking food tasted terrible and why it had changed.
It was right after the people at Grimmauld place realised they would have to go somewhere else to eat that they found out they could not use any of the bathrooms. No matter what anyone tried, no one could open a bathroom door. They began to conjure buckets and take them into separate rooms. Once they did their business, they vanished it. It was up to Molly, Kingsley and Hestia to go get some food.
The next few weeks, the bathrooms would lock at random times. The house would flood and again things in the water would try to eat everyone's toes. Twice a day, the food would taste terrible, then once a day, in the morning, all anyone could eat was one slice of toast. If a person tried to eat another slice of toast, it would once again taste like slugs or pepper.
It was the toast that made them all believe that Harry somehow jinxed the house.
Then one day, a week before Harry's birthday, that everything went back to normal. Everyone at the house were relieved that all the pranks stopped. Over the next week everyone was tense and jumped at the smallest sound. The pranks had stopped but they couldn't help wondering if the pranks would start again, they did not even realise that no letter came from Harry.
Around dinner time on July thirty first, Harry's birthday, Albus was just starting his meeting with the order of the phoenix to work on who and how many would be picking up Harry, when the kitchen lit up with a flash of light. When they could all see again, many gasped, a lot yelled, Snape cursed Harry's name saying he was going to murder the brat.
All the men around the kitchen ended up with huge boobs that even robes did not hide. But all the men also had make-up on their faces and nothing would remove it.
The women though, had a penis attached to their heads. No matter what anyone did, no one could remove the spell that caused it. Albus floo called Poppy, then gave her access to the house, even she could not remove the spell. She believed it was a time curse, but she could not give an estimate on how long they would all have to put up with their changes.
'It seems we will not be picking Harry up tonight,' Albus said with a sigh.
'What about us Albus? We all work and if we don't turn up at the ministry, we could get sacked,' Tonks said. She had tried removing the penis from her head by transforming into different people. Even her metamorphmagus ability could not remove the penis.
'I will speak with Amelia using the floo. I can explained about the timed curse.' Albus sighed, something he had been doing a lot over the last month. He finally left Grimmauld place and used the floo to Hogwarts.
'This will really piss Harry off. He stuck with them on his birthday,' Remus said, 'I think this final prank is the telling one.'
'What do you mean?' Tonks asked.
'I believe this curse will not finish quickly. I believe it will last as long as Harry stays at that house. At first, a month, but since Albus said Harry will not be picked up, then it will last longer.'
'I really hope your wrong Remus,' Bill said as he kept trying to flatten the large boobs. And like all the men, when magic didn't remove the make-up, they had tried scrubbing their faces. That did not work either.
It took another week before everyone at Grimmauld place along with the order to realise they had not heard from Harry. All of them still had their boobs, make-up and a penis and that is all any of them had been thinking about.
'I did say this will not end until Harry has finally been taken away from the muggles. I would say that since you will not allow any of us to remove him Albus, all of us will be stuck like this.'
'You never bothered to check,' Fred started.
'To see if what he wrote was true, about the bucket,' George finished.
'It's been weeks, how would he be if they had only been giving him a piece of toast. All of us haven't been able to eat more than that and we're all weak, even our magic is suffering,' Kingsley said.
'I believe you need to go and retrieve Harry Albus, then hopefully this...prank will end,' Minerva said in almost a growl.
Albus sighed as he nodded. He knew he had no choice. He transfigured his robes bigger so even if they did not completely cover the breasts on his chest, they hid most of it. He also pulled his hair around so it covered a lot of his face.
After Albus left, everyone turned to look at everyone else but it was Tonks that spoke first.
'Do you think this will be gone once Harry is here?' Tonks asked pointing at the large penis on her head.
'Yes, I do and I believe we'll all be able to eat as well.'
'Albus is making too many mistakes when it comes to the boy. Don't expect him to be the same with any of you. Also Molly, I doubt even you're yelling will help, it will probably make things worse. I would suggest leaving him be,' Mad-eye said.
It was twenty minutes later that Albus hurried into the room. Everyone instantly noticed that he still had his boobs.
'He's gone. Petunia said he left three weeks ago, the night before his birthday. He told her he got a letter from his godfather and they were meeting ready to go into a safe house. All of us need to get out there to find him.'
'We're not going out in public like this Dumbledore,' Tonks said again gesturing towards the penis.
'No, I will not be leaving here until these...things are gone,' Kingsley said gesturing his overly large boobs.
For the next half an hour, all anyone did was yell but not one person said they would go out to look for Harry, not until they were back to normal.
'We did warn you Albus. Every decision you've made about that boy from the time James and lily were killed has been wrong. Now, you've lost the only person who has a hope of killing you-know-who,' Mad-eye said.
'We're also prisoners here and that comes down to the fact that Harry was a prisoner with those muggles,' Remus said as he glared at Albus before getting up and leaving the kitchen, with Tonks following.
'It was safer for Harry to remain with his aunt,' Albus said.
'It might have been but you could have allowed his friends to write. You also could have some of the order take his friends there for a visit. Did you bother to find out if the bucket he wrote about was true?' Arthur asked.
Albus sighed, 'It was true, all of it was. I made sure petunia knew because of her treatment of Harry that her and her family were now in more danger than anyone else. There were no wards at all, I noticed that the moment I arrived. We need to find Harry.'
'He was raised in the muggle world, he knows about the muggle world. He could disappear easily into the millions of muggles. He also owns an invisibility cloak. I doubt anyone will find him. I wouldn't even be surprised to find out that he's left the country. Harry told me once that there were parts of America he wanted to see, especially Hawaii. When I asked why Hawaii, he said he had never seen the ocean and Hawaii is an island surrounded by the sea,' Hermione said, 'If he did leave, then I would say that's where he's headed or he's already there,' Hermione got up and walked out of the room. She could not hide how sad she looked. Ron and Ginny got up and followed her.
No one from the order knew what to do. It wasn't until the following morning that Molly, Arthur, Bill, Fleur and Charlie saw they were finally back to normal. When they got down to the kitchen, they realised that the food finally tasted like it should. It was when the twins came down that the others found out that Remus and Tonks had left sometime the previous night, but they weren't the only ones missing. Hermione was gone, along with all her belongings. She left note saying she was returning to her parents, in the hope she could convince them to move, either move to another house or move overseas. She wanted her parents safe even if that meant she would be leaving with them.
During these weeks, Harry had been gathering information on the country he was now living in and hoped it would make a good home. He did want to see Hawaii, but he remembered telling Hermione about that so he didn't go there, he went to Australia. He hoped it would throw off Hermione but also Dumbledore because he knew Hermione would tell the old man. He also picked Australia as it was far away from England. He hoped it would allow him to have a life without anyone or anything from his old life finding him.
Harry had snuck out of the Dursley's house a few times while he was working on his plans to leave. He had emptied his vault, along with the Black vault when the goblins explained that Sirius had left him all of it. He had bought a wizards tent along with a bag that was charmed. It would hold a lot without weighing anything. He had loaded it up with things he would need, especially food. He wanted to be settled and find his way around before having to worry about shopping. Harry had also bought all brand new clothes and shoes. All of it went into his new bag. When he was ready to leave, he told Hedwig to take as much time as she wanted. She would find him once she arrived. She found him five weeks later, after he had settled into a home he had been able to buy, that was not far from a beach.
It was the night of the first of September that many realised that Harry Potter wasn't at Hogwarts. Many had gone up to Ron to ask where he was. He explained that he left and no one knew where he was.
Many of the students looked scared, some looked ashamed. They were the ones that called him a liar and followed what the Daily Prophet wrote. They realised now just what their actions had done. It was known now that Harry Potter was the chosen one and because they followed what was written and said, they had lost the only person who could defeat Voldemort. The ones that looked scared decided to write to their parents. It was time to get far away. First they had to sneak out of Hogwarts and there were two boys inside the castle that would be able to help them.
Fred and George were approached by many students. They were mainly muggleborns and muggle raised half-bloods. They understood exactly how much danger those people were in so they explained about the two tunnels that would allow them to leave Hogwarts without anyone knowing. That night, Fred and George watched from the shadows near the one eyed witch statue to see more than seventy students sneaking into the tunnel.
By the time breakfast was over the following morning, the staff found out that all the belongings of the missing students were gone. The realised those students had left Hogwarts. Many of the staff could not blame them.
By the following morning more students had disappeared. The minister and many that worked for the ministry had turned up to try to convince the students that there was no danger. It was too late. There were only pure-bloods left, which meant there were only quarter of the students left at Hogwarts. Those numbers were not enough to keep Hogwarts open.
No one at the ministry knew what to do. No one at Hogwarts knew what to do. The old castle will end up closed which meant the staff that lived there would have to leave. Most of them had lived their for most of their lives so they didn't have a home to go to so they weren't sure what was going to happen.
The people from the ministry realised with more than half of the witches and wizards in Britain now gone, their world will eventually die. Many had already begun to make plans to leave before they were left broke or killed by Voldemort. Many begun to say if Voldemort wanted to take over, then he could but there would be no people to rule, apart from his death eaters.
Harry settled into his new home and country. He had forged some papers before leaving so now he was known as Orion Jamerson, an eighteen year old young man who moved to Australia when his parents had died. He had decided to begin a new life and he had.
After buying his house, the first thing Harry did was see a muggle surgeon about having his scar removed. That would be necessary if he was to stay hidden. After that will just mean dying his hair to keep it as a honey blond. Some stylish glasses and decent clothes, Harry didn't think anyone would recognise the-boy-who-lived.
Harry had begun to make plans to leave at the end of his first year at Hogwarts. Apart from leaving the Dursley's, he wanted away from Hogwarts due to many reasons. He thought the wizarding world was so old fashioned but his main reason was Severus Snape, the bullying and the danger. That was not the type of world he wanted to belong to.
He thought those plans might change when he first met Sirius but after Fudge refuse to believe that Sirius was innocent and Dumbledore not helping Sirius even though as chief warlock he could get Sirius a trial, Harry knew he had to keep his plans. He liked getting to know his godfather but he just couldn't stay due to the life he was forced to live. He only waited this long so he was older and no one would think to question a young man who was travelling alone and living alone.
Harry stared out over the beautiful pacific ocean with a contented sigh.
'From now on, this is my life and I would do anything and I mean anything to keep it,' Harry smiled as he realised just how happy and content he was. He finally had the life he always hoped to have and maybe in a few years he may end up with a family of his own.
The end: