Author's Note: This is a fic written for exactly one person. It's me. I'm the only person who wants a crossover between obscure Boku No Hero Academia characters and Saiyuki.

My name for the Third One for All holder in my fics is Sanzou, and I'm a fan of Kazuya Minekura's Saiyuki, so at some point I would inevitably think about how to combine these universes. The answer is, very awkwardly.

This fic puts Boku No Hero Academia characters in the Saiyuki-verse setting. Yoichi = Hakkai; Hikage Shinomori = Goku; Kaiji Kudou (Second One for All holder) = Gojyo; and Sanzou Bruce (Third One for All holder) = Sanzou of course. I've been calling him Sanzou since before the canon name reveal of Bruce and frankly I'm not that fond of Bruce, so I use it as a last name if I use it at all.

"The Sanzou party is here!" the entire town cheered as the white jeep rolled into town. Lining up, the townsfolk threw confetti at the group. The air carried the delicious scent of a feast cooked in their honor.

Hikage Shinomori, sleeping in the backseat, didn't even open his eyes. Kaiji Kudou, also in the backseat, picked confetti off his leather jacket. "Huh, talk about a red-carpet welcome. This town must have yokai they want us to kill."

Sanzou Bruce privately thought that Kaiji was probably right, but out loud he said, "It beats getting run out of town." That had happened before too, usually when people found out they were traveling with Yoichi Shigaraki, brother of the legendary (and unfortunately not staying dead) yokai king All for One.

Yoichi was currently driving the jeep, with Sanzou sitting shotgun. Adjusting his green headband, Yoichi said, "I have a good feeling about this town—oh, no. I should know better than to try and have good feelings."

Sitting in the middle of the town square was a golden statue of Yoichi Shigaraki. The nameplate at the bottom said, If found, return to owner. All for One had littered every town on the continent with these statues during one of his younger brother's many escape attempts. Although All for One had died many years ago, no one had ever been able to remove the statues he'd implanted in many human towns against their will, because his powerful magic protected them. Since All for One's people were in the process of resurrecting him, the bounty on Yoichi had been reinstated. Sanzou sighed and mentally calculated if they'd be able to steal any food before they got run out of town. For some reason, traveling with a yokai prince kept making humans think he must be a fraud of a high priest.

Yoichi hit the brakes, making everyone else fall over. Then he vaulted out of the van and ran over to the statue. He yanked off his earrings, limiters which hid his yokai form and suppressed his true power, just long enough to decay the statue. There was a green glow and a flash of vines across his skin. Then he stuck the earrings back on.

The entire town, who had clearly seen this happen, gaped and muttered. The wizened mayor, dressed in finery and a decorative sash, approached using a cane. Squinting at Yoichi, he said, "We're grateful to you for removing the unsightly statue the dread King All for One forced on our city. How did you do that? Was it priest magic? Do you…look familiar?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Yoichi said with an absolutely brilliant smile. "There's no statue here."

"But there used to be a statue. It's been there since before I was born." The mayor squinted. "My eyes aren't what they once were, but something about you standing where the statue used to be…it seems familiar…except the statue was of a yokai…"

Yoichi put an arm around the mayor and led him away from the empty platform. "Sir, there was never a statue. Did you know the Minus Wave has been affecting people's memories in strange ways? That's probably why you imagined a yokai statue. Why would a human town have a yokai statue?"

"But the statue was just there—"

Yoichi put a hand on the elder's forehead. "Oh, dear, I definitely sense yokai energy coming from you. No wonder you suffer from delusions! Come with me, I'll heal you. Then I can heal anyone else injured in this town. In gratitude for my services, we'll stop talking about statues. Sound like a plan?"

"We do have people who need healing," the mayor admitted in a befuddled voice, letting Yoichi guide him away.

Sanzou sighed, too tired to stop Yoichi from gaslighting an entire town. Food, he needed food. The scent on the air made his stomach rumble. He opened the jeep door. "Come on, let's eat."

Kaiji willingly hopped out. He was quickly mobbed by townsfolk who placed a garland of flowers around his neck. However, Hikage immediately dropped to the jeep floor and hid.

Sanzou shook the youth. "Come on, you must be hungry."

"No!" Hikage hissed. "There are too many of them. Just the three of you is bad enough. I refuse to socialize with this many people." He said "socialize" as if it was a bad word.

Sanzou pinched the bridge of his nose. When he'd first been ordered to find the Great Sage Equaling Heaven and bring him along on a journey to the west stop All for One's resurrection, he'd been worried. He'd expected a terrifying monster sealed away to prevent him from going on a rampage. Instead, he'd found a tiny boy hiding in a cave deep in the mountains. Hikage had not wanted to leave the cave. It turned out he'd sealed himself inside to avoid people. Eventually Sanzou had lured Hikage out using meat buns and rational arguments. If the world got destroyed by forbidden magic, then Hikage's forest would be destroyed too. Also, Sanzou had promised a lifetime supply of meat buns delivered to Hikage's cave after their quest finished. However, Hikage had hit his limit of other people on the very first village they'd stopped at, and had been complaining ever since.

With a roll of his eyes, Sanzou touched the vehicle. "Jeep, transform."

The jeep turned into a small white cat. Hikage shrieked as he was dropped to the road on his bottom. The cat rubbed Sanzou's ankles under his robe and purred.

Picking up the cat in one hand, and grabbing Hikage's collar with his other hand, Sanzou carried them both into the town hall. A high priest's work was never done.

The town hall contained a dozen tables overflowing with food. Yoichi had a plate next to him and a line of people he was healing. Kaiji sat at the head of the table, a second flower crown on his head and curious villagers surrounding him.

Hikage's eyes widened at the sight of the banquet. Then he leapt forward like a feral animal and hid under the table. Occasionally his hand poked out from under the cloth to grab food.

A girl poked Kaiji's spiky hair. "You have hair as red as blood. They say that half-yokai mongrels have red hair and red eyes because they're cursed. Children of the taboo, born to blood as blood follows their unlucky lives."

Usually Kaiji was quietly stoic in the face of prejudice about his mixed heritage. However, either he'd been pressed too far by too many ignorant villagers or he'd been inspired by Yoichi's performance. With a completely straight face, Kaiji lied, "That's just a ridiculous rumor. Besides, my hair is pink."

"Oh." The girl frowned. "It looks blood-red to me."

"Then you have bad eyesight." Kaiji grabbed a mug of beer and took a long sip. "Also, that sounds like a racist way to describe my hair if it was red, which it's not. The white flower crown is probably playing a visual trick and making my pink hair look darker."

Sanzou felt a headache coming on. He silently prayed for his group to hold it together and act natural in front of the village long enough for them to get fed. But if the gods listened to his prayers, he was pretty sure it was only for the entertainment value of watching their favorite toy lurch from one disaster to another.

Sitting down at the table, Sanzou drained the closest beer. Then he held up his mug. "More, please."

The villagers around him gaped. Someone muttered, "What kind of priest drinks?"

The kind who has to lead this group of loons, Sanzou thought bitterly. Fine, then, he'd get his own alcohol. He headed straight to the keg and poured until his mug was overflowing.

In the distance, Sanzou heard Tomura's all too familiar voice scream, "Sanzou party! I'm here to steal your sutra!"

Sanzou moaned, a headache already forming behind his temples. He drank as much as he could in one gulp, then wiped his mouth. "Everyone, Tomura and the League found us again. Let's go take care of them."

Kaiji didn't look up from where he was filling his plate with food. "Eh, it's just Tomura. You can handle him, you're our glorious leader and the sacred protector of the sutra. As a lowly half-breed, I've got my hands full protecting this buffet table."

Oh, dear, someone was clearly salty about being called a mongrel.

"I'm busy healing," Yoichi called from the other end of the room. "Besides, you know my neph—Tomura doesn't exactly keep quiet about our…connection…whenever he sees me."

The table remained silent, which meant Hikage didn't feel like helping either.

Sanzou groaned. This was why he drank.

One of Sanzou's teachers had once theorized about the existence of an infinite number of multiverses. If so, Sanzou imagined that every single other Sanzou in every other universe probably had a more dignified party than him. And their party members probably listened to their orders occasionally, too.

OMAKE TIME!

Omake: The Multiverse Weighs In

Saiyuki's Sanzou: Don't kid yourself, I got a bunch of dumbassess too. Maybe the Sanzou party had dignity in the original myth.

Original Mythological Sanzou: Less so than you'd think. Don't ask me about the mpreg arc.

#

Omake: Behind the Fourth Wall

Kaiji: I don't want to fight the League.

Sanzou: Are you giving me a hard time because you're salty about not being leader in this AU?

Kaiji: No, you're doing a great job. I'm salty because the author cast Mr. Compress as my brother. Ugh, I refuse to tolerate the stench of a hypocrite aiding in a genocide and thinking himself virtuous for it. A true act of friendship would be to stop your friends from murder. Can I just kill the hypocrite?

Sanzou: Fratricide is a sin.

Yoichi: Come on, we're on a journey to kill my brother, I think Kaiji should get to kill his not-really-a-brother-except-in-this-one-AU too.

#

Omake: Why Yoichi Isn't Kougaiji

Garaki: Help us resurrect your brother or we will kill your mother!

Yoichi: I wouldn't bring back All for One even if you threatened someone I'd actually met before.

#Tomura does like his mom #But Hana is the one being held hostage in this AU

#

Omake: First Meetings

Yoichi: I heard that you're on a quest to stop All for One from coming back from the dead.

Sanzou: And you're here to stop us, because you're his brother.

Yoichi: HAHAHA no. I'm here to join you. I'm coming along whether you like it or not. No one in either universe has more reason to stop this resurrection than me.

#

Omake: Journey to Become an Only Child

Yoichi: Did All for One have a brother? Wasn't it a sister? Rumor has it the Minus Wave has been affecting people's memories. Maybe that's where this strange story about All for One having a little brother came from.

Sanzou: Did you learn your gaslighting skills from your brother?

Yoichi: Hey! Take that back!

#

Omake: The Counterparts Meet

BNHA Sanzou: I'm told you have a bunch of idiots too?

Sanzou: Yes. Let me introduce you to the usefulness of a paper fan.

#

Gojyo: Psst, I'll show you where Sanzou hid the good booze.

Kaiji: You. I like you.

#

Goku: New friend!

Hikage: AHHHHHHHH hugs scare me!

#

Hakkai: (Smiles.)

Yoichi: (Smiles back.)

Hakkai: (Smiles harder.)

Gojyo: What are they doing?

Goku: I don't know but it's giving me the creeps.

Kaiji: They're either becoming friends or they're about to kill each other. We'll find out which one shortly.

Author's Note: I also have a second fic where the two Sanzous swap places, because I couldn't resist both types of crossover. I'll post that as soon as I'm finished editing.

Thank you to Artistic Hermit for the absolutely beautiful cover art for this story. Delete the spaces to get the link to the full-sized image:

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