Apparently, I've made a habit of being late to classes, as once again, I stumble into my Potions class with a man called Snape, nearly ten minutes late, having been preoccupied with avoiding Cedric Diggory. I'd seen him wandering around the Great Hall at breakfast, eyes catching mine and making his way towards me.
So, I do what came naturally: I bolted.
After hiding in an abandoned classroom for half an hour, I eventually let myself out when I realized that if I didn't, I was going to be late. According to Cho, Snape didn't take kindly to insolence, so being on time was vital.
"And who might you be?" Snape asks as I step inside the Potions classroom, my mission of being on time having been a complete failure.
I wince, bracing myself for another detention. While I doubt the other professors use the same methods of punishment as Umbridge does, I don't want to risk it. My hand is still aching, and part of me wonders if I should go to Dumbledore about it.
If he'd even believe me. I'm mad, after all. For all I know, I could've carved the writing into my hand by my own free will, and just hallucinated Umbridge making me do it. She's now elected herself as High Inquisitor, whatever that means, meaning she likely holds more power than the typical professor, so even if Dumbledore does believe me, who knows if it matters.
"Meiqi Chang." I answer after a long pause.
Snape eyes me up and down, gaze settling on my Slytherin tie, before nodding. "Take a seat, Miss Chang. It will be a detention if you're late again."
"You just took ten points from Gryffindor for breathing too loud!" A redhead boy seated next to Harry protests, the color of his face as vibrant as his hair. "But she can be late and it's fine?"
He has a point, but I don't say that, of course, as I take my seat next to Cyril. Once again, we're in the back of the classroom, just behind Daphne and Pansy, the former giving me a bright smile while the latter rolls her eyes.
"Another detention for speaking out of turn, Mr. Weasley." Snape growls. "Now, are there any more interruptions, or may I continue my class?"
"Sorry." I mutter, not loud enough for anyone outside of Cyril to actually hear.
"It's not your fault." Cyril gives me a small smile as he adjusts his Hufflepuff robes. "Snape favors you Slytherins. The only way to get out of detentions with him, if you aren't a Slytherin, is to simply blend in, like I do. Don't make yourself stand out too much."
"I don't think I like blending in." I admit, before I can stop the words from slipping out of me.
"Oh?" He raises his eyebrows.
"I've spent a long time, being invisible. Being unimportant. I think I like having attention on me. It's…euphoric, almost. Being noticed, for the first time in my life." I don't volunteer any information other than this - that the reason I care so much now about being noticed is because of how long I was in the hospital, useless and ignored and close to death. That maybe now, with a purpose, I can do something.
Though, I think I'd rather go unnoticed than being the center of attention of dead people, but I digress.
"Is that why you have pink hair?"
I shake my head. "That was the result of a dare."
"I see." His lips curl up. "Well, I do quite like it. It suits you. Suits your personality."
"Thanks."
I turn my attention back to Snape as he teaches, only to zone out halfway through his lecture on the many ways to use pixy wings. I'm nearly asleep by the time class ends, and only manage to gather my books when Cyril elbows me, jolting me back into reality.
"Sorry."
"No worries." He gives me a small smile, and unlike me, remains stationed in his desk for whatever reason. "See you around, Meiqi."
"See you." I wave goodbye, before stepping out of the classroom, hugging my books to my chest.
Though I don't get far, before someone calls out my name. "Oi, Meiqi!"
"Hey, Daphne." I say as I turn around, my face nearly colliding directly with her messy blonde curls.
"You're smart, right?"
I blink. "Er…I don't know. Why?"
"Because, I wasn't paying any attention in class, and have no idea how to do the potions assignment. But I figure, you're the most likely person to be able to help me, since you're like, smart and everything. Or you seem smart anyways - Cho is smart, so that means you must be, right?"
"Er…sorry to disappoint, Daphne, but I wasn't paying any attention either. I was talking to Cyril, then I zoned out."
Her face falls. "Damnit. Oi, Pansy, can you help Meiqi and I out with the assignment?"
Pansy, who had just begun to pass us in the hall, stopped in her tracks, a glare sliding over to meet us. "It isn't my fault you can't pay attention."
"Pleaseeeee?" She begs, actually pressing her hands together as she gives her bright puppy-dog eyes. "Come on, Meiqi is new this year, you can't expect her to be caught up with the rest of us."
What happened to assuming that I'm smart? I frown, but don't bother to ask.
"I don't." Pansy says as she folds her arms over her chest. "But I do expect you to be at least mildly competent. Figure it out on your own, Greengrass."
And with that, Pansy walks away, leaving the two of us absolutely hopeless.
Daphne and I decide to struggle together, meeting in the library after the rest of our classes, and combining our brains to try to tackle the homework together. It's an essay on seven uses of pixy wings, and together, the two of us can name a total of zero.
"We're doomed." She moans, running a hand through her hair, after spending an hour pouring through the books the library holds, desperate to find one containing the answers we need. "I swear, we've searched every damn book in this place, and nothing. What are we going to do?"
"How am I supposed to know?" I grumble, resting my head in my hands.
"Hey, maybe we can ask your sister for help."
"No way. She's busy enough as it is. I don't want to bother her." Don't want to seem pathetic in front of her, more like it, but I'm not about to voice that to Daphne. She doesn't need to know about the insecurities I hold when it comes to my big sister.
"Do you have a better idea?"
"Er…" I blink, eyes flickering around the library in search of anything that could possible help us out of our plight. My gaze eventually settles on a figure, one already approaching us, who might be our savior, disguised in a sly smirk.
"Hello, girls." Draco greets, placing his hands down on the table, leaning against it and causing it to droop ever so slightly. "What might you be up to?"
"Oh, Draco, perfect timing! Could you help us with our essay?" Daphne says before I can ask myself, much to my pleasure. For some reason, I don't want to seem completely pathetic in front of Draco, though I can't place my finger on why.
"Why would I want to do that?"
"Well, you're friends with Meiqi, right?"
Our eyes meet, for a brief moment, both of us frowning. Are we friends? I have no idea what my relationship is with Draco, it's so brief and bizarre. I suppose we could be friends? How am I supposed to know, though?
"Not exactly." He shrugs, and I bite down on my tongue. Never mind, then. "But I'll take pity on you two, since you seem so bloody pathetic."
Ouch. Another blow to the pride.
Draco takes a seat next to me in an empty chair, grabbing the piece of parchment we'd been pouring over, and reading what we have so far, which is a total of two sentences.
"C'mon Chang, you're supposed to be smart." Draco shakes his head, lowering the parchment. "What happened to your brains?"
"Why does everyone assume I'm smart?" I groan, running a hand through my hair. "I'm a new student, why would I be smart?"
"Your sister is." He offers with a shrug, and I groan again at the comparison.
"In case it's slipped your notice, my name is Meiqi, not Cho."
"Damn, harsh." Draco's lips jumped up even higher. "Don't worry, Meiqi. I definitely don't see you like your sister. You're actually interesting."
I'm not sure how to respond to that, so I don't, not saying a word as Draco continues on, telling the two of us what we need to include in our essay. Though, my attention is quickly stolen away when I feel a sharp tap on my shoulder.
"Can I talk to you, Meiqi?" Cedric begins, as I turn around to face him, and I let out a small yelp of alarm before I can stop it.
"What is it?" Daphne demands, eyes wide as she examines me.
"Nothing, nothing." I shake my head. While I refuse to look at either of them, I know they're both studying me with concern and judgement. "I'll…er…I'll be right back. I need to…yeah."
Daphne frowns, but says nothing as I rise from my seat, following Cedric into the bookshelves, far away from where anyone can see us.
"What do you want?" I demand, my tone harsher than I intend, and he flinches.
"Meiqi, I thought we were becoming friends. Did I do something to upset you?"
"Did you…" I begin to repeat his question, but trail off, shaking my head.
"Is this about Cho? I can take a hint, I know her and I are over now, since she won't bloody talk to me, but I don't want that to affect our friendship. I don't even know what I did, to make Cho so angry at me, but if it makes her happy to be apart…"
"You didn't do anything, Cedric." I take a deep breath to settle my racing heart.
"I must've! Otherwise she wouldn't be ignoring me - you wouldn't be ignoring me, either. I just don't understand what I did."
"Cedric. I don't mean to be rude, but…you're kind of dead. Well, not kind of. Really. You're really dead."
He blinks. "What?"
"You're dead. You were murdered. You aren't alive anymore. That's why Cho is ignoring you - because you're dead."
I expect him to have some sort of realization, some sort of relief, some sort of thank you to me before his soul departs this world and onto the next, but he doesn't. He simply stands there, a small smile growing on his lips. "Meiqi, as much as I appreciate you trying to joke, I'm being serious."
"So am I!" I insist, my voice louder than I mean it to go. "You're dead! You-Know-Who killed you last year, in the Triwizard tournament! You're fucking dead, and you need to leave me alone!"
"What's going on?" A voice interjects, and I swear my heart plummets to the ground.
"Go away, Draco."
He does not, in fact, go away, instead taking several steps towards me, until we are only inches apart. Though I refuse to look at him, I know he's staring at me through his piercing grey eyes, like he's trying to read my mind. "Who are you talking to?"
"No one. Nothing. It's nothing."
Cedric frowns at this, taking a step backwards. "I'll leave you two alone, yeah?"
I don't say anything as he abandons the bookshelves, leaving Draco and I alone.
"Meiqi, what's going on with you?" He continues, and this time, I look up to meet his eye, his gaze and his unreadable expression.
"Nothing is going on with me." I hiss, more aggressive than I intend, but it has the desired affect, as he flinches. "Besides, you don't know me. I don't know you. Why do you care?"
"I care because I don't want a mad person in Slytherin, affecting our reputation."
"I'm not mad." I lie.
"This is like, the twentieth time I've caught you talking to yourself. If that isn't madness, I don't know what is."
"I'm not mad." I repeat my statement with more intensity in my tone. "You don't know what you're talking about. Just leave me alone, yeah? Pretend you don't know me."
He shakes his head. "I can't do that."
"Why not?" I demand, clenching my teeth.
"I don't know." Draco says after a long moment of silence. "But I know I can't just pretend you don't exist. You intrigue me."
"You don't know me." I insist.
"Maybe I want to know you, though." He takes a step towards me, and it takes everything in me not to move away from him. "Maybe I want to know who you think you're talking to, when I see you speaking to the bookshelves like they're actual people. Maybe I want to know why you're brand new to Hogwarts, when your sister has been here her entire school career. Maybe I want to know why you look so bloody terrified right now."
"I…I'm not that interesting. I can assure you that." I sputter out, sounding like a complete idiot as I do. My face burns red.
"I disagree. You're hiding something, Meiqi Chang. And I will find out what it is, no matter how long it takes me."
I can't take it anymore.
Like the pathetic child I am, I simply turn around and sprint away from him, going as fast as my legs will take me outside of the library. I ignore Draco calling after me, I ignore the weird looks I get from the students nearby, simply running, as though I can outrun the dead.