"Kate?" His voice was tinged with concern. She had told him about her conversation with her mom, that, after some solid questioning from him, she figured out happened in her subconscious when she was in surgery. She had tried to logic her way out of it, always the rational one. But it had felt so real, and Rick had helped talk her into accepting it as completely real. His concern wasn't actually about the conversation at all. It wasn't even the most fantastical thing that had ever happened to them. No, he was more concerned about how she was feeling, her physical health. She had poured the entire story out, with a few interruptions from him. Then she had fallen asleep, quite suddenly actually.
"Kate?" He asked again, gently shaking her non injured shoulder. She was still propped up, her head lulling to the side in what looked like a very uncomfortable position. A nurse had come in to tell them the dietician wanted one more visit before he could clear her for discharge. She needed to be awake for that.
"Ka…te. Kate honey." He shook her shoulder a bit harder, his voice sing-song and heavy with love. He was really close to her face, right next to her ear, knowing that he could rouse her using the slightly ticklish spot where her jaw met her ear.
She blinked her eyes open with a wide smile, her voice still heavy with sleep, "Yes, love."
"You have one more appointment today. So they can release you."
"Oh," She shifted side to side in the bed, wakefulness coming in slowly. She was still quite uncomfortable, very tired of hospital beds at this point. "Right."
Just as consciousness fully sharpened her senses, a knock on her room door welcomed their guest.
"Hello, Katherine….Castle." He looked down at the tablet in his hands to confirm, doing the necessary sanitizing and greeting steps. "I'm Dr. Farnes." He greeted, "And you are?" He gestured toward Castle, politely but still professional.
"Richard. Her husband, partner." He stuttered a bit, more out of the stumbling to his feet while still trying to hold Kate's hand than anything else.
"Ahh. Nice to meet you both. I'm assuming you will be helping with her recovery."
Both Kate and Rick nodded enthusiastically, Rick frozen in a half standing position. He awkwardly sat back down at his post next to her bed as Dr. Farnes pulled up a chair of his own on the opposite side.
Dr. Farnes continued, "So, I'm going to go over some diet changes and expectations. Set up a plan for not only your recovery but also for your growing bundle of joy." His face brightened, accessing the background information on her case. "I see you just about finished your dinner." He indicated to her half finished, now cold, meal on the tray table.
"Yeah. It wasn't great. Honestly still working through some nausea." She was a bit embarrassed, her weakness and inability to be perfect every time on full display. It was the one thing she hated about being injured, particularly with this case. She hated how little control she had over her own body, her own recovery. Little Lily wasn't going to make it any better, even though she was very much wanted.
"I don't blame you. The food's not that great." Dr. Farnes chuckled, eliciting laughs from both Castle's. Adjusting the tablet to show the pair the recovery plan. "Let's chat through this then."
Slow and steady, Kate paced the small hospital room, tracing a path from the window to the bed. Discharge morning. The nurses had finalized the paperwork and sent Rick away to get the car. She knew that protocol was to be wheeled out but she refused to sit in the wheelchair while she waited. She wasn't that weak. Plus she was supposed to stay moving, get her steps in every hour. What a better way than pacing. They hadn't told anyone else that she would be released today, she wanted to quietly return home, no frills or fanfare. The first time she had returned home, a few weeks ago, the constant rotation of visitors had hindered her progress, pushed her too far. Learning means not repeating mistakes. So less visitors, more focus. Now she was pacing, waiting, slow and steady.
Rick had splurged. He had ordered the car service to drive them home. The trip he took to the parking lot from her room was just to confirm where they should park. Neither Kate nor Rick had technically been cleared to drive just yet, her right arm still in a sling until cleared by PT and the motions of driving pulled at his own sternum injuries that weren't quite healed yet. Kate had been surprised when he had wheeled her from the hospital; she could never quite get used to the little ways he spent lots of money on her.
"Rick? This feels like the wrong direction?" She noticed, staring out the window of the car as it angled to the right of the city, instead of the south, toward their loft.
"Yes." He was confident, conniving, his smirk revealing he had a plan.
Turning just her head to shoot a glare at her husband, she tried to school her voice to be slightly more intimidating, "Where?"
"The Hamptons sweetheart." His smirk switched into a full blown open mouthed smile of love.
"Really?" Now she was interested.
"Yeah. We have a week to ourselves, and an order to focus completely on your recovery."
She wanted to protest, but he was right. It did sound nice.
"Being at home wasn't helping any one really. Plus they should be installing the new flooring on Friday, better if no one is around for the mess.
She took a deep inhale, biting her lip. Now that she was feeling better, all of the little things that normally clogged her mind came running back. "What about…"
"Don't worry. Martha and Alexis have thought everything through. They gathered clothes. I've even hired a chef to prepare meals and snacks following your guidelines. Physical therapy coming right to the house. No visitors until you say so." He kept talking, but she stopped listening. She loved it when he started to ramble. Focusing on recovery was starting to sound amazing. That had been the main goal of every doctor, nurse, and family that had talked to her in the last week. She let Rick talk, taking in the view from the car window as they drove out of the city, her fingers dancing over the ultrasound pictures in her jacket pocket.
As the car pulled up to the beach house, Kate's concern grew. There was more than one car in the driveway, only one of which she recognized as the spare Martha often used. She had said no visitors, and the drive had shook up her system enough that she really wanted rest.
"Rick? Who all is here?" She asked, as he opened her door, making her feel like a princess for a short minute. "I said I didn't want visitors."
"I heard you. Well, that one is Martha and Alexis. I sent the Chef your list so I think that he was going to be shopping and preparing some things for you to snack on, dinner and what not…" he trailed off, trying to recall who all was coming to prepare the house for them. He was also distracted by Kate as he helped ease her out of the car. She was trying to be strong, the battle she was fighting with the tightness in her core visible through her gritted teeth and sharp inhales.
"No visitors. Even Martha and Alexis. Please." She whispered pleading into his ear, leaning into him gently as he led her from the car into the house.
"I know." He was reassuring, holding her up with one hand around her waist, but she still didn't trust him. He was known for his epic surprises.
As they entered the house. Martha and Alexis were sitting in the den area, near the door and both jumped up as they heard the door open.
"You're home!" Martha chirped loudly, incoming for a hug.
Kate automatically braced, gripping Rick's shirt with the arm she had wrapped around his waist. She shifted to hide behind him, like a shy toddler. A bit out of character but she didn't care. It was taking all of her energy not to run away.
"Yes. And…. " He held out his free hand, what could be perceived as a strong arm, but he had a way of making it seem gentle to his mother. "I think we both could use some rest." He deftly steered his mother one way as he moved Kate the other way, toward the bedroom.
Martha was a bit muffed. But now the text that Rick had sent her earlier made more sense. He had capitalized that Kate DID NOT want visitors right away. Even family. If anyone or anything pushed her right now, she might bolt. And he couldn't have her do that. Comfort and focus was the most important right now, at least for the first few days. Hugs could wait.
Adeptly avoiding the social situation, he led her to the bedroom.
"Rick… thank you." She mumbled, allowing him to help lower her body onto the bed. Discharge, the drive, having to avoid her first unwanted social situation…she was tired and sore.
She sat on the edge of the bed for a few minutes as he retrieved a glass of water and her pain medication. She was limited because of Lily, and she had vowed to not take much at all. But this felt like a good time, allowing her to actually rest for a bit.
She had lowered herself gingerly to lay down. Suddenly she felt like she was rising, uncontrolled, the top part of the bed pushing her up and forward.
"The doctor said it was better for you to sit up a bit when you rest." She barely opened her eyes, instead falling into the reassurance of his voice and the amazingly plush pillow top comfort. Right, their bed at the Hamptons had the super expensive lifting action feature. If she remembered right, it could also vibrate, a feature she had teased him with the last time they were here. It wasn't that she needed to sit up to rest, just that it was less painful to move around. Getting out of bed was the hardest thing, made worse if going from completely horizontal. Slightly propping up was good, the plan was to slowly lower down to horizontal until it didn't hurt anymore.
Sighing, she let out barely a whisper, "I forgot the bed did this." Her body could finally relax, so she let it. Safe, finally.
"Yeah. Splurged on the little things. All for you dear…." He ended with a kiss to her already sleeping form, her face a picture of calm and comfort.
Everyday, she found some way to hold onto the ultrasound photos, keep them close to her. A pants pocket, the pocket of a light summer jacket, within reach on the night stand or counter. Lily, even in her blurry and formless image, was her inspiration and her rock, some days the only thing keeping her from kicking everyone out and running to the cabin to be alone. The chef had pre-prepared meals for her, clearly labeled in the fridge and a separate plate for dinner. The diet was just like before at the loft, but with a bit more flair, the addition of more lean meats and protein. Plus someone who actually cooked it, it wasn't just Rick trying to be helpful.
Between the chef, the physical therapy visits on the patio, constantly someone grabbing whatever she needed, the heavenly pillow top mattress… it was all a bit too much. She was starting to get bored, wanting to gain some more control of what was going on around her actions, of her life.
"Just a little more pampering dear." She rubbed her thumb over the blurry blob of the ultrasound pictures, leaning against the kitchen counter, eyeing the orange slices that were supposed to be her breakfast. She had reached to pull the slices from the Tupperware in the fridge, without her sling of course. In her justification, she had regained significant range of motion in her pectorals, years of adjusting around various injuries impressing her physical therapist. But the reach up and into the fridge had been too much, causing a wince in pain. The involuntary spasm had then moved to her torso, causing her to toss the Tupperware a bit haphazardly onto the counter. In her free hand she was clutching Lily's photo for mental fortification.
"Who are you talking to?" Martha gently asked, padding into the kitchen searching for coffee.
Kate desperately tried to stow the picture strip in her pants pocket, realizing too late that she was only wearing yoga pants; they didn't have pockets. The strip started to slip out of her grip and float along the smoothness of the fabric. She was so distracted she didn't notice what Martha had clearly noticed.
"Oh! Oh Katherine!" Martha murmured, emotion catching in her throat, reaching forward to catch the strip from floating to the ground. She gently placed it back onto the counter in front of both of them, offering a hand to Kate's arm. Kate pressed her lips together tight. She was attempting to hide the pregnancy as long as possible, and hadn't intended for anyone to know just yet. She was already looked upon as a fragile broken thing, she didn't want to add another layer.
"I hadn't intended to share with anyone yet…" Kate mumbled quietly, stuttering a bit. Martha didn't hear it, or ignored it.
"How far along?" No amount of actorial training could hide the awe in her voice.
Kate couldn't hide it forever, might as well fess up. Hiding her pride in a slow blink she answered, "Nine and half weeks."
Martha finally looked up from the photo, meeting Kate's eyes with a questioning squeeze of her brow. She was calculating the past few months.
Kate wasn't proud of any of this. She hadn't intended to get pregnant so quickly. Her and Rick had just started talking about kids, just before she blew up everything to chase after LokSat. And in the ensuing chaos of learning to be a captain, LokSat, and piecing back together her marriage, daily birth control had slipped her mind. She had justified it, they weren't exactly together at the time, so she was safe. But then they had reconciled; anniversary dinner leading to spending the night. She predicted that that had been the fateful night. But then that dinner had led to her moving back in, working awkwardly around each other during the day but enjoying such passionate love making in the evenings. Any one of those could have been "the one". Rick had found her one morning crying softly in the bathroom over the positive pregnancy test. Two weeks later he had gifted her the bracelet in the cake. There was excitement of course, but there was also apprehension from both of them. It was absolutely not a good time.
Martha's voice brought her back to reality, "So… you knew before the shooting". Tinged with love but heavy with motherly concern, there was so much she wanted to convey.
Kate was most definitely not proud of the timeline of events. Defending herself, she spoke to the counter, "I had just figured it out when shit started to hit the fan. It was the catalyst for Rick pushing me to solve everything and be done with it. Get the nonsense out of our lives. So we could focus on this, I guess."
Martha nodded, looking back down at the blob on the strip, not even trying to hide her cooing. "And then this happened."
Kate suppressed a chuckle, raising her eyebrows in response, "Not ideal."
Martha met Kate's eyes, conveying love through the gentle touch of her arm. "No. But ideal now." Being a grandma to a little one was incredibly rewarding, a feeling she had been trying to recapture since Alexis grew up into an incredible woman.
"Please don't tell anyone." Kate reached for the photo, trying to slide it closer to her, return it to hiding.
Martha pulled out of her awe in slight shock, "What?"
"Please don't tell anyone. Right now it's just me, Rick, the doctors, and now.. you know." Kate pointed out, sucking her lips in, for some reason a bit nervous.
"You haven't told Jim?
Kate shook her head, taking the distraction to finally snatch the photo back into her grasp.
"I haven't found the right moment. Every time he was visiting me at the hospital, we were always interrupted before I had a chance." Martha was rubbing her hand up and down Kate's arm, comforting the clearly emotional detective. Kate was close to her father, but still felt like she was somehow disappointing him by announcing that she was pregnant.
"Why not tell him tonight, at dinner? He was planning on coming to dinner right?"
Kate had forgotten that they were having family dinner, celebrating their - more her - successful recovery so far. She was ready for visitors, and they had started to plan dinners to ease her back to some semblance of a social life. Kate nodded. Martha, for as unashamed as she was about everything else in her life, did give the best advice when it came to matters of the heart. Dinner would be a great time to tell her father, and Alexis too while they were at it. Controlled, thought out, safe.
"Good. That's settled." Martha chirped, shrugging her shoulders, eyeing the Tupperware on the counter. "Are you going to eat that orange?"
"Yeah." Kate chuckled, reaching for the Tupperware again, "Doctor's orders."
"Eat good kiddo. The little one deserves it." With that, the wise but eccentric matron departed, not having achieved the coffee she was originally aiming for.