No amount of training could've prepared you for the horror that just unfolded.
Titans, drawn by Annie's call, have infiltrated through the breach in an instant. They brush past you. After all, these clueless idiots can't tell Reiner's armor is shielding you rather than crushing you. Besides, your instructors often repeated that one solitary individual doesn't count for much in comparison to a densely populated area. Causing as much destruction as possible is embedded in their instinct.
Any nation that dared to cross Marley never stood a chance and this city, if you can call it that, is no exception.
You witness a titan snatch a screaming man from a rooftop, his terror-filled eyes meeting yours for a fleeting moment. "Don't look at me like that. Blame your people," you mumble, aware that he can't hear you.
You feel a pang in your throat when he disappears into the titan's gaping maw. You don't know what it is. Perhaps it's the nerves.
Another titan lumbers down a street, its massive hand sweeping through a fleeing crowd. No one is spared from the crush under its grasp, their bodies broken like dolls, and their cries, silenced.
Amidst the chaos, a particular scene catches your eye. There, next to Bertolt, is another titan. Its long straight blond hair dangles over its face and an enormous smile is spread all over it. As it approaches Bertolt, Reiner braces himself for an attack. But, to your utter bewilderment, it simply passes by him, as if he were no more than a part of the landscape.
In spite of that, its behavior isn't what's puzzling you. You blankly glare. There's something awfully familiar about it, but the chaos beneath your eyes clouds your thoughts, frustratingly keeping the recognition just out of reach. "Will you all shut the fuck up already?", you grumble.
The anomaly nags at you and you know there's only one way to find out. You tug at Reiner's finger only to get his attention. He wouldn't be able to hear you from all the way up there, so he slowly brings you up level to his ear. "Put me down."
He merely peers at you, as if to make sure he didn't mishear you. "I need to check something. Just wait in front of the inner gate. It won't take long." You grab the opportunity sneak a look behind you while Reiner is still contemplating. Another batch of titans is trotting forward. If he put you down fast enough, you'd have more than enough time to swoop in before they catch up. "Reiner! Any year now?"
He carefully lowers you to the ground. He knows you don't throw orders without a valid reasoning behind them. This time, you're unsure whether this qualifies as a good reason. Hell, it's not mission-related either. Not that that sort of thing has ever gotten in your way before. Improvisation is a skill of yours. Your boots settle against the pavement's crumbling rocks and you're instantly sucked into the chaos of the streets. All the titans towering over buildings, treating them as nothing but mere obstacles to crush, the people screaming and the fires crackling – it all bleeds together.
You push through the crowd, your gaze fixated on the Smiling Titan, desperate to keep it in your view. Somehow, the titans aren't the most difficult thing to avoid. It's the surging residents. You find yourself leaping to the side over and over to avoid running into someone who doesn't see you and dodging under a mess of debris that is, fragments of houses. But your purpose is clear, and whenever that is the case, nothing can stop you. Except for a dumb kid tugging at your shirt causing you to glare down at him.
"My- my friends," he stammers, his index pointing directly left, "Their house is located over there, where that titan is heading. They need help!"
"And what do you expect me to do? As far as I know, I don't have a cannon in my disposition," you shoot back in a sharper tone than you intended.
His eyes widen. "Aren't you apart of the Survey Corps?"
"The Survey what?", you echo with question marks in your eyes. You aren't the only one. His confusion mirrors your own.
Why is he confused that you are confused? Is the world spinning in reverse on this island?
You sigh, your eyes flickering back to the Smiling Titan. "Listen kid, I don't have time for your nonsense."
"But, you were chasing that titan! Weren't you going to kill it?", he persists, stopping you once again from taking off.
You glance around and, understandably speaking, realize the oddity of your direction – heading left, against the flow of people fleeing towards the inner gate. No ordinary person would be mindlessly charging towards a titan, unless they had a death wish. That kid caught on it. The last impression you want to give off is that you've been living under a rock.
"My house is also located that way," you lie. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got my dead family to meet up with," With that, you break into a run towards the Smiling Titan, leaving the boy behind with the same skeptical look. Granted, he's not as dumb as you thought.
Behind you, you hear an old man scolding the boy, dragging him away. "I told you to stay put, Armin-" His voice fades into the background as you close the distance between yourself and the titan before it suddenly halts, its monstrous frame becoming still.
Determined to discover what's caught its attention, you decide to slip into a nearby alleyway, using it as a shortcut to get a better view. The alley opens up and your head turns to the side when a scene freezes me in my tracks. The titan wasn't fixated on something, but rather, people. Amidst the rubble of a partially collapsed house, you see two figures trying to lift the debris. They look like they could be in the same age range as the warriors.
It isn't until you run up to them that you realize why they're desperate to fulfill the task. Beneath them lies a woman, her leg gruesomely pinned under the wreckage. It doesn't take a genius to know she's beyond saving.
"I'll carry you!", the boy exclaims.
"Will you listen to me for once in your life?!", her voice breaks. "Mikasa! Please, get through to him."
"N- No. I can't." the raven-haired girl stammers.
These children are allowing their emotions to overrule the better judgment that comes with being able to make a good decision. That's why the woman is left with no other choice but to look at the only person on this empty road who will act objectively. You.
"Save them." Her mouth doesn't open, but her eyes can talk.
You kneel beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You can't save her."
"And I can't leave her either!" he shouts.
"Her last wish is for you to be safe. The best thing you can do for her is to give her the peace of knowing you lived through it," you reply almost naturally. Somehow, It's strange how simple it is to reckon a mother's love when you grew up without it for the majority of your life. Surely, you concluded–if you starve anyone from anything, they'll always find themselves in a constant pursuit.
The boy doesn't budge nor replies, so that must indicate you're onto something. You look up and the Smiling titan looms dangerously close enough for you to know you're out of time. You make eye contact with it for the first time and in that brief connection, there's an inexplicable feeling of recognition that defies logic.
You scoff and wonder whether you're going insane.
You reach out and effortlessly hoist the boy over your shoulder. He struggles, his fists pounding against your back.
Mikasa, appears to be deliberating between her loyalty to him and facing reality. After most likely weighing down the pros and cons of her options, she opts for the right one. "Eren, please.." she pleads shortly before you grasp her hand.
"Do they have any other family they can stay with?", you ask the woman, hoping that they were not about to become orphans. In the grand scheme of things, it'd be a pain to have to look after them while having your own mission to focus on.
"Let me down! You'll regret this if you don't release me right now you piece of shit-", Eren continues, his threats ringing hollow but persistent as he kicks and screams.
"Yes." his mother replies abruptly, slowly coming to terms with her upcoming death. "Ask around for Dr. Grisha Yeager."
The world seems to hold its breath, awaiting your answer.
You hear nothing except the throbbing of your heart along with the cross-shaped scar on your arm as though it just sparked back to life.
Yeah. You are going insane.