All right, so first things first: I'm still alive. Been in one heck of writer's block for Misaninju Island and Revenge of the Island Redone, but I'm still working on both of them and Misaninju should have it's next chapter uploaded later on tonight. In the meantime, I wrote this. Inspired by Screen Rant's and Ryan George's, "Pitch Meetings", where they poke fun at the tropes and sometimes questionable choices in movies and tv shows, I figured, why not do it for Total Drama?

As such, I'd like to point I don't own the idea of the Pitch Meeting's and it's all just a PARODY. That said, I hope you all enjoy.

Total Drama Island Pitch Meeting

(In the office doors of Fresh Tv…)

"So!" One of the executives (let's call him...George) said to a screen writer (and let's call him...Ryan) "You have an animated tv show for me?"

"Yes sir, I do!" Ryan said cheerily. "It's called Total Drama Island!"

"Sounds interesting, what's it about?"

"Well, it's a parody on reality shows like Survivor and The Amazing Race, in which a bunch of contestants come on to try and win a million dollars."

"Amazing!" George said. "So I take it this is like Survivor in particular then?"

"That's right!" Ryan said. "So this host, Chris McLean hosts the season at a summer camp in which twenty-two teenagers with specific high school stereotypes."

"Okay..." George said nodding in understanding.

"And then he has them compete in some very dangerous and life threatening challenges!"

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! We got them jumping off a cliff into shark infested waters, eating bull meatballs, and doing some of the most disgusting dares in history."

"So when you say bull meatballs do you mean, like killing a bull and rolling up the meat into a ball?" George asked.

"No, no, no I mean the other kind of meat ball." Ryan explained. "You know, meatballs." After a pause he added, "I mean their nuts, Chris makes them eat bull nuts."

"Yeah! No, I get it!" George said rubbing his temples in regret.

"You wanna know what else they had to eat?" Ryan asked with a smile.

"No thanks, I'm pretty sure the image of bull testicles will be burned into my brain." George said as he swallowed little vomit in his mouth. "So what are the contestants like?"

"Well, like I mentioned before they're all based off high school stereotypes so we got, the Loner girl, the Delinquent, The Party Guy, The Musician, the Hot Guy, Napoleon Dynamite-"

"Did you just say Napoleon Dynamite?" George asked.

Ryan continues as if he hadn't heard the question. "-The hot Ditzy Blonde, The Surfer Chick, The Resident Alpha Bitch, and the Home Schooled kid, just to name a few."

"Wow, it must be pretty hard to balance that many characters and give everyone proper character devolpment."

"Well, I figured some characters could you know, just rarely speak and get voted off pretty early."

"Oh, really?" George asked. "Won't the audience kinda forget those characters are there in the first place?"

"I don't know. Probably." Ryan admitted.

"Well, okay then! So since this show has drama in the name, what kind of drama are we talking?"

"Oh, a lot of different kinds, sir! The main antagonist this season, a girl named Heather, is gonna steal another teammate's diary and read it in front of everyone in the middle of a challenge, yank the same girl's skirt off in front of everybody in another challenge, kiss her boyfriend right in front of her, and just be generally rude and bossy to her entire team."

"Wow, she must be hated by everybody by then. Must be hard to keep her as the main villain."

"Actually, super easy! Barely an inconvenience!"

George raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

"Yeah, even though you would think she would be voted off after reading Gwen's diary, kissing her boyfriend, bossing her team around, and just being a total bitch, but all that takes place over the course of ten episodes out of 26."

"Her team must get really lucky and win in a lot of challenges then."

"Her team actually loses six times before the merge!"

"And they never think to vote her off?"

"Nope, she gets saved time and time again either by pure luck, sudden eliminations, or by other contestants screwing up more than her at the moment."

"Wow. And how far does she make it in the game?"

"The final three!"

"Wow, she got really lucky then. So what happens next?"

"Well, the other two players, Owen and Gwen team up against her in a triple dog dare challenge making her do numerous nasty things."

"They don't involve bull meatballs do they?" George asked.

"No."

"Okay, good."

"It involves licking a sweaty guy's hairy armpits, and eat jelly out of his belly button!" Ryan said cheerily.

"Oh! What is wrong with you, you sick, sick sicko?"

"Gotta admit she had it coming to her."

"Well, true." George admitted. "So how does she lose?"

"She accidentally gets her hair shaved bald!"

"Oh, sweet, sweet karma is tight!"

"Yeah, it is!"

"So how does the season end?"

"Well, Owen and Gwen have a race doing "rejected Olympic games", like climbing a pole to grab a flag, putting a eagle egg back in it's nest, and racing to the finish line."

"Sounds simple enough."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! So Owen ends up winning the 100 thousand dollars after he smells some brownies, Gwen and her boyfriend work things out, and yeah that's how the season ends."

"Wow, well this honestly doesn't sound too bad of a first season." George said. "Can't wait to see a new cast for next season and to see maybe how Owen spends the money."

"Well, you're gonna keep waiting. And probably hate me after this."

"After what?"

TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND SPECIAL TO REVEAL THE 14 CASTMATES RETURNING FOR SEASON 2

{Author Notes}

So that was the Pitch Meeting of Season 1. If you liked it, just feel free to scroll just a little further down and leave a is appreciated. Hope you enjoyed the rest story and I'll see you guy's next time for the next episode of Total Drama Misaninju Island!

~KeybladeMaster Avenger otherwise known as JustNobody.