Shinji was going out to town in order to buy condoms for some fun time with a comatose Asuka down at the hospital later, however he somehow got lost and ended up in a desert!
"Owwwwwwwwie it hurtz!" Shinji yelped as the sun scorched every inches of his skin. The sand burned his shoes through so he was jumping back and forth.
Worse still, he jumped into a cactus patch and got pricked af. "Fak fak fak fak fak fak fak fak fak fak fak fak fak!" He said. "Fak my life why do you have to punish me like this kami-sama? I'm just trying to express my love", c'mon man it's 2023 , this kind of intolerance shouldn't be banned, unconscious girls can consent!"
Kami-sama was disgusted by his liberalism and freethink. Kami-sama decided to kill him but he cast the wrong spell which returned Shinji back to familiar streets.
Kami-sama broke into a fit of rage at his failure so he vented his anger on the mere mortals. "Poseidon power!" He let out an autistic screeching. He then built up the waves into a giant Tsunami before sending them to Nippon shores.
Many rice farmers died. Kami-sama was pleased with his accomplishment. He forgot about Shinji and thus forgot to kill him again.
Shinji was returned back to his street. He suffered from many injuries and bruises. "Fuck I need help!" he said. He looked at his arms. Fucking nigger! I look just like a nigger!
The sun at the desert was apparently so strong that he was scorched to blackness. He even gave off a smell niggers usually give off.
Shinji needed help. He was pricked to the core and has burned his feet. "help me please!" He screamed loudly. A police officer saw him and ran forward.
However, the police did not provide assistance. In fact, he pulled Shinji up violently and hurled him to the ground!
"Show me where the cocaine at you filthy hoodrat!" The police began violating his privacy as he searched inside his pantsu.
The police, failing to find drugs on his body, began ransacking his ass. He dug his fingers into his anus since it was a very popular tactic.
His finger hitted Shinji's G-spot which turned him on and gave him a boner.
"Fuck naw a faggot!" The police shouted as he pulled his hand out of Shinji. The only thing cops are scared of more than niggers are faggots. Cops absolutely despise faggots.
Furthermore he appeared to be a niggerfaggot so he became completely untouchable.
It was a lucky escape for Shinji. Knowing that now he looks like a nigger law enforcement can't do shit, he walked to the hospital alone.
In the hospital he received stares and disapproving shakes of heads. People were wary of his presence and were guarding their personal belongings.
"Next!" The receptionist called.
Shinji went to the receptionist counter.
"I got skinburn and cactus thorns embedded all over me!" Shinji moaned.
"Sir, this is not a non-profit organisation. We don't accept foodstamps either."
"I have the money please treat me!" Shinji pulled out 10000 yen out of his wallet.
The receptionist looked at him funny. Then she said "Hol up a minute" before going into her office.
"Hello, police? We have a nigger here at the hospital and we believe he nicked 10000 yen from someone recently our address is 1488 Dixie Drive, please come here and arrest this nigger."
"Man what's taking them so long?" Shinji wondered aloud. His injuries got worse.
"Stop right there!" Suddenly a cop busted open the entrance and held Hachiman at gunpoint.
Shinji raised his hands up.
"Hand over the 10000 yen now!"
Shinji said it belonged to him.
"Bullsh*t!" The cop shouted and started firing at Hachiman repeatedly with his pistol. Shinji suffered grievous bodily damage and he was not intended to survive.
"Roger this is Sergeant Anous, suspect is down, I repeat suspect's down, do you copy."
Shinji, with his last breath, uttered the three essential words that every dying hoodrats say to claim innocence.
"I dindu nuffin..."