Chapter 5 - I'll Never Walk Alone
Author's Note: Family bonding. :D
~ Amina Gila
In the end, Vader doesn't have to wait long for Leia to show up on Mustafar. She lands in his private hangar that no one else is allowed in, in the Falcon –which disguised its signature so no one will recognize it.
Something in her seems more settled, lighter, than the last time Vader saw her when she steps off the ship and for a few moments they just... look at each other. His daughter is finally here, and he suddenly doesn't know where to begin.
Leia takes a few steps closer, eyeing the area Vader knows Luke is standing, though she doesn't ask.
"You can sense him?" Vader asks.
Her gaze jumps to him. "Who?"
"The spirit."
Leia's eyes widen the slightest bit. She looks distinctly wary. "That's what that... is?"
"Yes. He is bonded to me, and likely has a connection to you as well. He is your brother."
She stills entirely. "What?"
"You had a twin brother," Vader explains, "But he was... killed on Tatooine."
"Killed?" she repeats, slowly, "He – But – Ben never mentioned him."
Vader can feel Luke's steadily growing impatience, and senses it when he reaches out to Leia's mind. It must've worked, with how much she starts in surprise.
"You – Hi?" she offers, uncertainly.
"I'm Luke," Vader hears him say, "I never knew I had a sister."
"I... never imagined a brother," Leia says, blinking. She seems to be feeling a little awkward, talking to literal space even if she can sense him, "You... how are you still here?"
"The Force gave him the chance to remain here in spirit," Vader explains, "You may be able to see him while meditating. You have done that before?"
"Of course."
"Then if you desire to see him, we can... go to my quarters."
Leia nods, following a few steps behind him, clearly still cautious as he leads her to the level of the Mustafar castle that's only for him. She throws curious glances around but sticks close to him. Vader pauses in the room with his meditation pod. He won't ask her to come inside it – she'd never be comfortable with that. There's not really room, anyway. "Here," he says, instead.
She glances around almost awkwardly, taking a few steps in and sitting cross-legged on the floor. "Are you going to just stand there?"
"Yes." He can't sit unless it's on something, after all, or he'd never be able to get up again. But he reaches into the Force, searching for Luke's presence the same time Leia does. He has a bond of sorts with Luke – it's not the same as one between living. It's a different kind of connection entirely, one he doesn't really understand, but it's still there.
And then, Luke appears in the middle of the room between them.
"I didn't know this was possible," Leia breathes, staring up at Luke.
"I didn't either, but a Force being appeared to me and taught me how to do this."
Leia's eyes widen. "The Daughter?"
Luke blinks. "You saw her too? I've been mostly talking to the Son."
She shakes her head. "I never saw him, but the Daughter was... telling me about this. That's how I knew to come here." Her gaze skitters to Vader.
The Ones have been appearing to them both? That's... strange, and Vader wonders why. There has to be a reason, but he doesn't know what. "They once signified the Light and Dark," Vader says, "You appear to have a connection to them."
"What does that mean?" Leia wonders.
"I... do not know." But he can speculate that it may have something to do with balancing the Force. That... hasn't been a part of his life since he was a Jedi. And he never truly knew what it meant, even then.
"What matters is that I can appear, right? Not why," Luke points out, dropping onto the floor in front of his twin. "I lived on Tatooine, on a moisture farm. And I know you were a princess on Alderaan, so we're about as different as it gets."
"Yeah," Leia agrees, still looking a bit overwhelmed, "I guess there's a lot for all of us to talk about."
Vader stands watching them, imagining for a moment, another lifetime where he was able to raise both of them from birth. It's as unreachable as everything he once dreamed for, but at least both his children are here.
He can never be separated from Luke again, and Leia is still here and alive. That is more than he could've asked for, for years. The constant anger, pain, fear, hate, and guilt that drown him ceaselessly are still there, but he thinks he can feel... a bit of something else. The hopelessness isn't quite as smothering, even if the moment it starts to fade for a bit it usually hits him full force again seconds later.
"Father?" Luke asks, looking up at him, "I – Well, I already know you, but Leia doesn't, so..."
"There is little for me to say about myself, if that is what you are implying," Vader replies. He hasn't talked about himself in... years. Even if he's found himself doing it more now that there's someone to listen.
"It's quite the fortress here," Leia interjects, smoothly changing the topic, "I suppose you were right no one should realize I'm here."
She's trying to make this easier, too. He's beyond grateful for that – he doesn't deserve that, after what he did to her. "No one comes to this level, but you will have to remain up here for now. I have prepared a room for you already. If you are ready, I will show you the place and we will begin... planning." He wants to just spend time with her, but they don't have that luxury right now. He hardly knows what that means anyway.
"What about Han and Chewbacca?"
"I do not want them wandering here," Vader replies, bluntly. It's one thing if it's his child wandering around up here. Someone else, just... no. "I imagine their ship has sufficient living quarters."
"That's fair," Leia admits, huffing out a breath and standing. "You're right. We should probably get settled into... what we'll be doing."
**w**
Luke's still reeling from the news, but he hasn't been this elated for something in a long time – aside from that he gets to be with his father, anyway. He has a sister. And she's definitely the person he occasionally sensed missing, felt a connection to but could never figure out what it was. He doesn't understand why they would've been raised separately, but at least they're together now.
And it's... helping his father immensely. He can tell that already.
Luke phases through the wall into Leia's bedroom that evening. She's lying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, clearly too lost in thought to actually sleep.
"Leia?" Luke asks, touching her mind.
"I can feel you there, but I can't see you," she observes, propping up on her elbow to stare at what looks like empty space, to her.
"I saw you on the Death Star," he blurts.
Her expression tightens a little. "Yes. I was captured on a mission. They –" She cuts off, looking away, "Wanted information. I didn't give it."
A wave of anger washes through him, thinking of how he lost everything to the Empire too. It fuels the Force, the Dark Side flooding him – well technically, becoming one with him even more deeply. "The Empire killed the rest of my family, too, and me. I just wanted to meet my father, and the Force brought me here."
"What do you think of him?" she asks, consideringly.
How does he even answer that? "He's amazing," Luke blurts, "I always wanted a father and he's not what I expected, but he's still..." Okay, now he's talking more about himself than he is Vader, but in truth, he hardly knows his father as a person. They haven't been with each other long, despite what he saw about his life. "And he needs our help." That's what's really most important right now.
"There's no question about that," she replies, quietly. She's willing to give it, even though she doesn't know him at all. Luke's glad to see it.
"I don't know how much you know about him, but the Force showed me much of his... life. I can't really blame him for what he's become."
She pushes herself upright. "The Daughter told me he was very much forced into it. Is there more you can tell me? Ben told me he and Anakin were close, but he insisted Anakin and Vader were... separate people. He never said anything about what happened, except that he never asked."
Luke sits on the edge of the bed next to her, even if she can't see him. He doesn't know Leia either, but somehow it already feels like he does "He used to be a slave," he begins, and then he tells her everything.
About how Anakin came to the Jedi late and was never accepted, and his relationship with Obi-Wan, and losing his mother, and what happened to Ahsoka, and... about when everything fell and how Vader had later tried to hunt down Obi-Wan in revenge, only to be left nearly dead again.
"I... wondered what that was all about," Leia admits, though her face is slightly pale from everything she's heard. He imagines she'll need a long time to process, just like he did. "I was there. I... saw Vader for a brief moment, then."
"You did?" Luke asks, surprised.
She nods. "Ben was protecting me. Some Inquisitor kidnapped me to get to him."
"They didn't hurt you, did they?" He doesn't know what to make of the instinctive protective feelings that swell inside him thinking about what these Inquisitors could've done to her, especially at that age.
"They were going to. It was close..." she replies, looking away for a moment. For some reason, he thinks she might be thinking about the Death Star instead. "But Ben rescued me in time. I don't understand how he could've done what you said. He cares about Anakin. I can tell that much."
"I know," Luke concedes, because he does. He's seen it before but maybe he just doesn't feel like being very forgiving right now. Even if that's unfair. Not after seeing everything. Leia only heard about it. She didn't witness it. "But apparently, not enough."
"He's drowned himself in his own guilt, I think. He said Anakin and Vader weren't the same, and I think he's firmly convinced himself of that." Leia shakes her head, huffing out a breath. "I should talk to... Vader."
"I hafta to say, I'm glad you're willing to accept him so easily," Luke says, nudging her though she can't see him, "I know he hurt you."
"I don't want to... talk about that," Leia replies, quietly.
That's fair. Luke wouldn't either in her case, even if he doesn't know the details. He doesn't really want to, either. He knows Vader's hurt people but that doesn't mean he likes thinking about it.
They sit in silence for a moment before Leia almost cautiously sticks out a hand, waving in the general area Luke is – well actually, it goes right through him and it's bizarre and comical at once. He can't feel the sensation when he's not here physically, but it looks ridiculous.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"Trying to see what this would feel like. You're sitting right next to me. I can sense it," she replies.
"And now you're sticking your hand right through me."
Her hand drops back into her lap, a look of amusement flitting across her face. "I'd like to see that would look like."
"Me too. But if I was physical for you to see me, I don't think you could stick a hand through me."
"What's it like to be a ghost?"
"Cool. But not something to look forward to." He's begun to grow used to it, the bitterness and anger he felt at the beginning setting into a certain level of acceptance. He tries to focus on what this has given him, instead of what it took away.
She looks momentarily hesitant, like she isn't sure if she should ask whatever's on her mind. "Can you... see other people? Like..."
"I haven't, but I probably could if I went Beyond. I haven't yet. I don't know if I could come back if I did."
Is she thinking about all those lost on Alderaan? "Wherever your... other family is now, I'm sure they're... happy," he offers, even if it sounds like a useless platitude.
"Are you alright? I know you lost people, too, who you must not've seen again," Leia says.
"I miss them," he admits, "But I... I know I'll see them again, eventually. Maybe even when I learn more. The Son is still teaching me."
They sink into a companionable silence, and Luke finds he feels even more whole now than he did before.
**w**
Leia's lightsaber clashes against Vader's and she pulls back, dodging out of his way when he swings for her again.
She has to use both hands to keep her lightsaber in her hand to block him – he's only using one and looks like he's hardy even trying. He's hardly even moving, either. His injuries and that suit have probably majorly reduced his agility, but he's clearly adapted to that.
Use her small size and agility to her advantage, Vader had told her, though, so she ducks around him again, blocking him and pulling back before it throws her off-balance.
Vader always manages to turn impossibly fast, though. He's... trained to fight since he was a little child, after all. She just started now. And once, this was never something she would've wanted to do, even if it's all she has now.
Vader wanted to teach her the Dark Side at first, but it took surprisingly little convincing to get to him agree that she wasn't going to. Given her connection with the Daughter, and the obvious significance of that, that might have been part of it. He's been teaching her more in lightsaber combat and a little of the Force ever since, though, so she'll be actually prepared to fight against Sidious.
With how poorly she's doing against him, though, she still feels hopelessly inadequate and unready.
"You did better this time," Vader tells her, when he sends her lightsaber flying again – she rather thought she'd be able to dodge before that happened again.
He obviously knows how to teach people, though. Something about his instructions speak much of a... familiarity with doing this.
She offers him a small smile, going to collect her blade. They've only been working with each other for about a week, but they're learning a certain level of familiarity fast, perhaps in part because he's one of the only people she's around now. And he's her father. She wanted to know her birth parents and never dreamed that one day she might. And despite what happened before, she wants to know him, especially now. Maybe she doesn't see him as her father exactly, but he's still... There's something similar, she thinks. She looked up to Anakin a lot, and Vader is... He's intense, passionate, and he – he cares about her. There's no doubt about that.
"Unless you desire to continue now, we may stop for a time," Vader says.
Leia wipes her forehand on the back of her hand, still breathing heavily. "Mm... in a little while. Where will you be?"
"Unless there are other matters that require my attention, I will be in the hangar," he replies, lingering a few moments longer before he turns to go.
They still haven't talked about anything. She told Luke she'd talk to him, but she doesn't really know how. Maybe just being here and bonding is easier for both of them first, anyway. It's certainly helping him. The hopelessness and darkness he felt of when she first came seems a little lighter.
Leia slips her hand into her pocket, fingering the untraceable comm she took with her. She told Ben before she left that she was going on a classified mission, and it might take a while. He was not happy, and she suspects by now that he's probably figure out something wasn't quite right about her story. She could check and see if he's tried contacting her, but she doesn't know if she's ready to talk to him again yet. And through the Force, he should be able to sense that she's fine.
After a moment of debating, Leia heads for the hangar instead of her room.
Vader is working on one of his ships there – which has begun looking like a steadily stranger and more disturbing contraption every time she comes out here. She'd rather not know how terrifying it would be flying. It's almost weird to think of an Imperial of his status liking something so...
She doesn't even know. Hands-on?
Most are honestly useless and make the stormtroopers do all the work, while staying somewhere safe. But from the little she's seen, Vader's always right at the front when fighting, generally dealing with the hardest part of the battle. And even for when they were on opposing sides, she could... admittedly respect him for that.
(Hopefully that won't mean... not so good things when they go to confront Sidious.)
"Hey," Luke calls, in her mind, and she reaches out, quickly sensing where he is.
"Are you seriously on top of the ship?" she asks, a touch incredulously.
"Why not?"
... Point.
"He rides on top of the ships ceaselessly, even in space," Vader informs her, flatly.
"That seems... unfair."
"What? You want to sit on a ship in hyperspace that badly?" Luke asks.
"Definitely." She snorts, a certain lightness she hasn't felt in a long time flitting through her. "I used to watch ships from the highest tree I could find. Try to guess what they were." But of course, that lightness fades to a gutting, aching longing the moment she remembers the days she could be that care-free.
"I'd climb on the roof of my home, pretend I was flying instead of the work Uncle Owen was having me do."
She laughs. "It drove my mother crazy."
Breha, who is also gone –
"You are similar," Vader tells them, something amused and dare she say fond in his voice? It's hard to tell with the vocoder. "Had you been raised together, I would have taught you more of flying years ago, if you desired to know that much."
"That's what I always wanted," Luke says.
"I was always supposed to work to be a Senator, but when I was younger, I didn't really want it," she admits. She'd wanted to be helping people, but also... running free, not constrained by politics and official positions and whatnot. "You're not even a real Organa." Her cousin told her that sometimes, and sometimes even back then she couldn't help thinking it seemed true, even if Bail and Breha will always be her parents.
"Your mother was always interested in politics," Vader speaks up, even if his pain flares at the mention of her. Leia wants to know more, but should she ask if –
"What was she like?" Luke wonders.
He stills for a moment, looking up from whatever wires he's attempting to connect. His hands must be awfully clumsy for such work, but clearly, he likes this work enough to do it anyway. "She looked much like Leia. She was... always passionate in her work."
"Ben told me a bit about her," Leia interjects, quietly, "He said she was kind-hearted, wise, and discerning." She never forgot those words, always curious to know more.
"Yes," Vader replies solemnly, turning away, "She was."
The silence that follows is almost heavy, and she itches to break it. Though she finally gets the chance when she sees Vader attempting to get these wires to connect in some area, except his hands are definitely too big to be working there. Nudging them with the Force seems like a serious pain, even if it's probably more effective.
"Do you... want help with that?" she offers, abruptly feeling almost shy – not quite, but close enough – the moment the words leave her mouth.
His helmet turns sharply to her, clearly taken by surprise. "If you desire."
"Or I could try using the Force," Luke volunteers, and she thinks he's leaning over the edge of the ship to get a better look. "But I think that would be impossible. I might blow something up."
"It is possible," Vader replies, "There is little you cannot do with the Force."
"Still seems inconvenient not to do it the old-fashioned way," Leia says, approaching the ship, and reaching inside the small area to work. Her hands at least are small enough to fit.
"You are skilled," he notes, watching over her shoulder.
The warmth the compliment fills her with is... weird. "I learned a lot about it when I was little. And I had to re-wire hangar doors once when I was ten."
"When you were ten?" Luke repeats, dubiously, "Why? What were you doing?"
Maybe she shouldn't have brought that up. "I... It was when those Inquisitors kidnapped me. They were hunting us, and we were trapped in a bunker. I overrode the doors when they tried to seal them." Lola had been there, her droid who is also space dust with Alderaan now, even if she put her away years ago.
Vader stills, even in the Force, though she can feel his distinct flare of guilt. "Had I known who you were, you would not have been endangered."
"I know," she replies, quietly.
"I... regret how I have harmed you, but I am aware that will not change it."
She already knew he did, but that he's willing to say so is – It somehow makes it a little better, to hear that. "It's... okay," she says, finally, "It's not your fault you didn't know."
"You can't change it now," Luke agrees, more seriously. She thinks he phased off the ship and is standing on the ground now. "But we're not mad at you, you know."
Vader doesn't seem sure how to reply – they're probably the first people who have ever told him that, that they're willing to stand with him, despite... everything.
Even if it still means she's going to find a way to bring back the person he used to be, for his own sake just as much as the galaxy's.
**w**
Vader's mind feels like it's going in a loop, ceaselessly focused on what the twins were saying. They want him, and even if he can't fathom why, it's not something he could ever turn down. They're working in the hangar again together when Solo and the Wookie come over to Leia.
Vader's kept a distance from them, but they're loyal to his daughter, and he... respects that of them.
"I'd still like to know why you keep talking to the ship," Han is saying, raising an eyebrow.
"I'm not."
"I keep hearing you."
"Remember what I told you about that?" Leia asks.
Han snorts. "That it's a ghost, yes."
"The ghost of my twin brother, actually. Luke, I think they'd like to meet you."
Chewbacca sniffs the air suspiciously, growling.
"What do you mean you think you smell something off?" Han asks, grumpily, "You're imagining things."
The datapad in front of Han suddenly twitches, turning it on. Han yelps in surprise, then frowns at Leia. "I know you're using the Force to do that."
"I didn't do anything," she objects.
Vader watches with no small measure of amusement. He can feel Luke, who seems equally amused, as he starts typing on the datapad, presumably with the Force.
Hi. I'm Luke
"You're not being very convincing," he huffs.
"I'm not doing anything," she protests again practically laughing, though she holds up her hands to make a point.
Vader can feel his first flicker of doubt as he looks between her and the datapad.
You're my sister's friend. I want to meet you.
"Or it's your dad," he grumbles, "Doing something with his crazy Force shenanigans."
"You think Vader would try to prank you?" Lei asks, dryly.
Han glances up, then pointedly glances away when he sees Vader watching them. "This isn't possible," he argues.
Chewbacca growls, something about spirits from beyond still being believed to be present on Kashyyyk.
He's considering interjecting, merely because the discussion is... mildly amusing, except then, he suddenly feels his master, nudging sharply at his mind. Vader tightens his shields on instinct, immediately forcing his mind away from – from all of this. Sidious isn't probing hard, but he still seems... unhappy. That possessiveness feels like it's wrapping around him, practically strangling him, a smothering reminder of who he belongs to. And then, just as quickly his master pulls back, but Vader knows what that means. It's how Sidious sometimes contacts him when he's expecting a transmission immediately.
Vader turns for the door, pausing when Leia asks, "Where are you going?"
"I must speak with the Emperor."
She stills, all amusement fading. "Why?"
"What?" Luke squeaks mentally, and Vader can sense his fear too.
"He is expecting me." And that could just be another transmission, or it could be something... bad. Either way, it must mean his master wants him for something so his time here with Leia might be cut short. Luke, at least, will be able to go with him wherever he goes. "I do not know why, but I cannot keep him waiting." Even if he's already dreading what this could be about because he truly has no way to expect anything.
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