It was a boring Saturday evening in November of 2014. Clint and Bruce were in Stark Tower, and everyone else was busy with something. Thor was off-world, Sam and Natasha were dealing with typical HYDRA bullcrap, and Tony was busy on a jog with Pepper.

"Hey, Clint?" asked Bruce, coming up behind the archer with caution as he was busy with a little target practice.

"Yeah?"

"Where the hell's Steve? I've been looking for him all day. I need his help with a serum project."

"Uh, he said he was... "studying" or whatever."

"Stu... what the shit does he have to study?"

"Some guy... J.R. Tolkoon or something," said Clint with a shrug.

"...Are you talking about J.R.R. Tolkien? The Lord of the Rings guy?"

"I don't know, man. I'm a little busy here. Just be careful I don't shoot the wrong guy."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Clint turned and teasingly aimed his arrow at Bruce's head.

"Fine, I'm going... I got... gotta work on something," said Bruce anxiously, leaving the room. The scientist was walking down a flight of stairs when he bumped into a sweat-soaked Steve, who had a water bottle in one hand and a book in the other.

"Where the hell were you?"

"Clearing my bucket list."

"Yeah? I got a bucket list too! You mind giving me a blood sample?"

"I'm a little busy, Bruce."

"Clint said you're studying J.R.R. Tolkien."

"Well..."

Steve was cut off when Bruce snatched the book from his hand and read the title.

"'Beren And Luthien'? Stevey, Stevey, Stevey," said Bruce in a somewhat admiring tone. "I didn't know you had class. What're you reading this for?"

"I'm trying to read the Tolkien books. You know, bucket list?"

"Right."

The two walked into a lower room, talking about the LOTR trilogy and The Hobbit, both of which Steve had read.

"I'm telling ya. You should have started with Silmarillion."

"So I hear. Just trying to work my way backwards, you know?"

"Sure, sure." said Bruce, sitting on the couch.

"But that's the best. It broke my freaking heart when Huan died."

Bruce regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. He wasn't thinking as he spoke, and thus had spoiled the story for his friend.

"...What'd you just say?"

"Oh, god. Steve... Steve I'm sorry, man. I wasn't thinking."

"No kidding," mumbled Steve, tossing a pillow aside so he could sit in a chair.

"Let me guess. Beren dies as well?"

"Well... I mean..."

Steve sighed in disappointment. In a slight moment of frustration, not only had Bruce spoiled the story, but Steve had spoiled it for himself as well.

"I just don't get it. How does Huan die?"

"He dies fighting Carcaroth. Hell of a way to go."

"But Huan was invincible, I thought. Took on Sauron for crying out loud!"

"Well, Sauron had his flaws. He's nothing compared to Morgoth."

"He's like God, right? He doesn't exactly die..."

"Well..." Bruce trailed off.

"Ugh. You're kidding me, right?"

"I hate to break it to you, but Tulkas beats his ass in Silmarillion."

"Tul...? Who the shit is Tulkas?!" asked Steve.

"I told you. Read Silmarillion."

"What the hell are you two yellin' about?" asked Rhodey as he walked in, wearing his suit and fresh from busting some HYDRA representatives.

"Bruce ruined Beren and Luthien for me."

"The hell is that?"

"It's a prequel to Lord of the Rings, you wouldn't understand," said Bruce.

"My ass! I read that shit when I was 15. My mom forced me, but it wasn't too bad."

"Well, we're busy discussing the strongest character in Tolkien's universe," said Steve.

"Sauron!" Interrupted Rhodey, chuckling. "Sauron. Sau... right? Ugh, damn."

FIVE HOURS LATER

"You're wrong, dude! There's no friggin way Sauron can beat Gandalf!" exclaimed Bruce.

"Bullshit! Gandalf's just a wizard. Sauron's basically a god. I don't understand your point."

"Rhodes," said Steve, "Sauron got beat by a huge dog. A so-called invincible dog, but, still."

"...What? Retconnin' ass mofos. Why the hell is it a dog can beat Sauron but a wizard can't? You're full of shit, both of ya!"

"Shut the hell up!" shouted Clint, walking in. "I was trying to call my kids, but looks like I already got three children in here yelling about fairy tales, and wizards and shit!"

Bruce, Rhodes and Steve all shouted at once at Clint, discouraging him for dissing Tolkien's legendarium.

Bruce nearly hulked out while shouting.

Rhodes seemed absolutely insulted.

Steve was absolutely pissed off.

Clint was unreasonably angry.

The four were still shouting at one another when Tony and Pepper walked in, and they immediately walked out.

"Whoa, whoa!" shouted a figure, stepping in with his hands raised.

They fell silent. It was Sam Wilson.

"Now, what are y'all yelling about?"

"This idiot thinks Sauron is invincible," said Bruce, musing to Rhodes, "and Robin Hood over there doesn't understand anything about J.R.R. Tolkien's universe."

"Cause it's bullsh-!"

"Whoa!" shouted Sam, interrupting Clint. "Y'all fighting over Lord of the Rings? I like that, you know."

Clint was absolutely flabbergasted. Had everyone on God's green earth except him heard of this J.R. Tolkoon guy?

"Then answer this," began Steve. "Can Gandalf beat Sauron?"

"...Hell no!"

In that moment, Bruce reached a level of unfathomable anger. He shouted in frustration as he began to grow green, and he Hulked out.

"Oh no..." was all Steve got out before Hulk took over, bashing down Sam as he flew at him to calm him down.

Hours had passed since Bruce's outburst, in which he'd sent Sam, Steve, Rhodes and Clint to the hospital and destroyed half of Stark Tower.

It had gotten so bad, Stark had to call in Thor to help stay this absurd madness. So let that be a lesson. Let the ignorant guy win, no matter how stupid the argument or how wrong he is.