The worst words in the English language have always been and always will be "we need to talk." Never, in the history of humanity – or indeed any other species, Luz hurriedly added in her head – have those words proceeded anything good. Ever. Calamity, catastrophe, and heartbreak inevitably followed those words. And yet, those were the words that had just come out of Mami's mouth. How delightful.

Luz had seriously been hoping she could put aside the difficult conversations for another night. Such as never. And for most of the afternoon, she'd had good reason for those hopes. There'd been one distraction after another. The Collector may have been redeemed and Belos killed, but even dealing with the immediate consequences of the literally titanic battle that had ensued was enough to occupy a great deal of everyone's time and energy. Luz really didn't want to have to face her mom. To deal with her disappointment for taking the bullet for the Collector.

"Luz, sweetie, you're not in trouble," Mami hastened to add. "But we need to talk about what's going to happen next."

Luz gave a smile that seemed strained even to herself and sat on the couch, silenced between Mami and Eda. At least Eda seemed to be just as nervous as Luz was, probably because she knew she'd done a lot of questionable things Mami could very well get angry at. "Yay! Can't wait!"

"As you know, Luz, we're going to be returning to the Human Realm as soon as the Collector builds a stable portal," Mami began.

Luz's heart sank. She knew this was coming, but it still wasn't any easier to hear. "Do we have to, mami?" she begged. "I've built a life here! I have Amity and my friends and my family here." She worried Mami might react badly to hearing Luz refer to Eda (and King and Hooty) as family, but she seemed to like the idea just as much as Luz.

"Vee's too traumatized by the idea of the Demon Realm to want to return here anytime soon," Mami said, her voice exuding a calm and patient attitude that just made Luz want to punch something. "And you need to return to school."

Luz felt an anger deep inside herself. Maybe it was unfair – scratch that, it was definitely unfair – but she didn't see why she had to choose between Vee's happiness and her own. She was there first! Didn't that give her seniority? "I can stay here with Eda and I'm already in school here at Hexside."

Eda sighed deeply. "Luz, you said your glyphs didn't work."

That was true. And realistically speaking, without them, she wasn't sure how she could ever actually succeed in graduating from Hexside. But Luz couldn't give up everything she'd built on the Isles. And for what? To return to a school where she was treated as a second class citizen, surrounded by people who despised her, and subjected to the unfair and ablest expectations of the staff? No, Luz didn't want that at all. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"I don't need them to study potions," Luz said weakly.

Eda looked at her askance. "Luz, you hate potions. It's your least favorite subject. Also, you got that Boscha girl as your lab partner, which can't make it any easier."

"I get good grades!" Luz protested.

Mami put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile. "Sweetie, I know this is tough. In no way am I trying to take this place away from you. You'll still have the whole community you built here on your side. Just not…at your side."

To her considerable alarm, Luz felt tears threatening to spill out of her eyes. "And I don't get a say in this at all?! I need this place. I need my family! I need all my family. You can't understand what it was like."

"I do understand," Mami promised. It was a lie. Everyone said that. They always lied. "But, Luz, this is a simple matter of practicalities."

"So I'm just being stuffed back in the box then," Luz said and took some grim satisfaction at the way Mami flinched at the reference to Reality Check Camp. "I have given up so much! I sacrificed my life for this place! I…" Luz trailed off as she saw the horror stricken look on Mami's face.

Oh, boy. She had not meant to say that. Of course Luz was going to tell her family how she'd died and come back to life. Of course! She'd learned her lesson from how she had hid the truth of how she'd helped Belos find the Collector. But it had been a very long day, what with facing down ultimate evil and all that, and she was hoping she could delay the conversation at least until the damn morning.

Mami looked frantically over at Eda and the resigned expression she saw on her face must have been all the confirmation she needed. "What did you just say?" she said quietly, a look of cold steel on her face. Well, Luz had just screwed herself big time. There was no way she was ever coming back to the Demon Realm now. She was lucky if Mami didn't wrap her up in bubble wrap for the rest of her life.

"Heh, did I say I died?" Luz said with a wild, hysterical laugh. "I meant that metaphorically, of course! Like, oh my goodness I'm so tired it feels like I'm dead!"

"Luz, please, no more lies," Mami said and the bald simplicity of the statement caused Luz to fold nearly instantly.

Luz cleared her throat and looked over at Eda for help. Eda gave a sympathetic look, but also one that made it clear there would be no help arriving. Well, there was nothing for it but to bite the bullet and pray Mami would be just too happy to have Luz back alive to make a fuss. "I took a blast from Belos for the Collector. And I died. It…it didn't hurt. I just…faded away."

Mami's eyes were wide as saucers. She was frozen with fear. In that moment, Luz wasn't even entirely convinced she realized Luz had come back. "I woke up in a realm between dimensions," Luz said. "That's where I met the Titan."

"He gave you the power you needed to fight Belos," Mami recalled. Luz had told her most of the story. She'd just conveniently left out the part where she'd died before she'd gotten that power.

Luz nodded. "And I came back. I really was going to tell you, mami, tomorrow. I swear. It's just…I didn't want to think about it right now. I could have been gone for good. It's…frightening."

Mami touched Luz's face with a trembling hand, as if to reassure herself Luz was really there and not some elaborate illusion. "I…I believe you, mija. Wow. This is a lot to process. You didn't happen to see –"

"No," Luz said immediately. "But that doesn't mean he wasn't somewhere else."

Mami nodded, clearly having expected that answer. "Well, I suppose it would have been too much to hope for anyway. Oh, honey." She grabbed Luz and hugged her tightly. "This is too much to put on you right now. It was wrong of me to have this conversation so soon. We can wait another week or two…"

Luz sighed. "I just don't want to go back, mami. Can't you understand that?"

"Can't you understand how reluctant I am to leave you in a place that killed you?" Mami shot back. "Luz, this is…we can come back to this conversation, but tonight we're done." A horrible thought seemed to occur to her. "Are you sure you're okay? Physically? I mean, what if…what if this is just temporary? What if you'll die again now that the Titan's blessing is gone?"

Eda stood up. "Not to worry, I got a diagnostic potion lying somewhere around here." She walked over to a wall and thumped on it to reveal a secret panel. She pulled out a dusty box, placed it on a table, and opened it to reveal a ton of different vials with potions of a variety of different colors. "I bought a few of these after the kid got the common mold."

"Did you say mold?" Mami said, looking very concerned.

"I was just a little sick!" Luz protested.

"Goose said you thought you had snakes for arms!" Eda shot back. "No, seriously, though, she was fine." She pulled out a vial of clear liquid and handed it over to Luz. "Just take a sip. It'll connect with the rest of the mixture."

Luz took a sip and the liquid turned into a psychedelic whirling mixture of greens and purples and blues. Eda looked shocked and maybe a bit frightened. "No, no, it's not possible," she whispered. "I used – no. It can't be." She grabbed another potion and practically shoved its contents down Luz's throat. Luz watched as her skin glowed a luminous blue.

"What's happening?" Mami demanded. "Do we need to take her to a hospital?"

"No, it's not that," Eda muttered. "Me, on the other hand, well, we'll see. What was your birthday again, Luz?" Luz had no clue what the hell was happening, but she gave her birthday anyway. "And you said you used to live in San Diego before you moved to Gravesfield?" Luz nodded slowly. "And with a gestation period of nine months…oh, fudgesicles."

A look of realization was slowly dawning on Mami's face, which was great for her, because Luz still had no idea what the hell was happening. "Surely not," Mami whispered.

Eda sighed. "I'm afraid so. The potion doesn't lie. Luz, I'm your mom."

Luz hugged Eda, feeling a grin distorting her cheeks. It was about time Eda finally embraced the found family trope fully! "Aw, that's so sweet, Eda! I think of you that way too."

"No, Luz," Eda said. "You're my biological daughter."

"That's not possible," Luz said immediately. If this was a prank, it was in epically bad taste. "That's literally not possible. You two are women! You couldn't have a baby together!"

Eda nervously twisted at her fingers. Two of them fell off her hand and she hastily reattached them. "As you probably recall from your Hexside health classes, that sort of thing isn't set in stone when magic is involved."

"Marilyn," Mami whispered. "I remember now. You got old!"

"Hey, I'm not old!" Eda protested. "The curse just makes me look old!"

Luz stood up, grabbed the box of potions and threw it across the room. "This is not funny! Okay? Maybe you think this is a great comeuppance for me keeping all these secrets or whatever, but it's not cool at all. My dad was Manuel Noceda!"

"Yes, of course he was, sweetie," Mami said. "We're not disputing that. We're just saying that the truth of your biological parentage is maybe a bit more complex than we first assumed."

Luz pointed a finger in Eda's face. "Did you use a love potion on her?"

For the first time since Luz met her, Eda looked truly, insanely enraged at her. "You're crossing a line here, young lady. I am not that kind of a person!"

"You must have done something!" Luz screamed. "I refuse to believe Mami would have ever cheated on my father!"

"It's not as simple as…"

"You take that back!" Eda screamed at her. "I demand an apology! Right here, right now!" Luz was stubbornly silent. "Then go to your room."

Luz trudged out of the room without another word. She didn't know what to think. A part of her wanted to think it was all some sort of colossal, deeply inappropriate joke that was being played on her. But she knew it wasn't the case. Maybe she was wrong to accuse Eda of using a love potion. She knew very well that while there weren't many lines Eda cared about, love potions was definitely one of them. But one of them had done something enormously, sensationally out of character. Either Mami had cheated on Papi or Eda had influenced her somehow.

But maybe there was another explanation, she told herself as the thoughts swirled in her head. Maybe Mami was having trouble conceiving and Eda contributed…whatever she contributed. Maybe Eda convinced Mami to be a surrogate somehow? And then…wiped her memories afterwards? And didn't collect the baby for…whatever reason? That sounded awfully weak even in Luz's head.

The storm of thoughts that had enveloped Luz's head abruptly dissipated when there was a knock on the door. Luz hid under the covers of her sleeping bag. "Luz isn't here!" she called out. "She's in blanket town."

The door creaked open and much to Luz's surprise it wasn't Mami or Eda, but King. "Luz? Are you okay? What's going on? I could hear screaming from the edge of the forest."

Luz groaned. How was she going to explain all this to King, especially since a lot of it centered around concepts he was way too young to understand? But still, she owed it to him to give an explanation. "Eda says she's my mom."

"Okay?" King said, clearly not understanding at all. "This is…bad somehow?"

"No, she's my biological mom," Luz said. King still didn't get it. "Mom and Eda slept – uh, no, this is just…you're too young to know about this stuff."

"Hey, I'm not stupid!" King said, offended. "I know how this stuff works. Two people hug and kiss a lot and then they have to venture into the cave of a stork and fight him to the death and that's how a baby is made."

Luz opened her mouth to correct him and then closed it. "Yeah, that's right. Well, Mom and Eda, let's say they fought a stork together. And no one knew until now."

King blinked a couple of times. "…I still feel like I'm missing something here, but whatever. So what's got you upset?"

"My dad…he's not really my dad, King," Luz explained. "Mom cheated on him! Which is terrible! And I…" She sighed. "I got upset and I might have…said some things to Eda I shouldn't have."

King walked over to the sleeping bag and wriggled his way next to her. Soon, the two of them were side by side, with Luz cuddling King like he was a stuffed animal. "Hey, look, family's complicated. No one knows that more than me! I've got a human sister and a witch mom and a Titan dad! So what if your mom fought a stork with Eda and didn't invite your dad? I'm sure she had a good reason! Just give them a chance to explain."

"You know, you're a pretty smart guy, King," Luz said with a grin.

"Just my little way of being me!"

Luz closed her eyes, trying to think of the best ways to apologize, and she must have fallen asleep, because the next thing she knew, King was gone and Eda was standing in front of her with Mami by her side.

"I'm so sorry," Luz said immediately. "I should not have said that. Not at all. I know you wouldn't do such a thing. Can you ever forgive me?"

Eda leaned down and kissed Luz on the forehead. "Of course, sweetie. I'm sorry I shouted at you."

Mami and Eda sat down on the floor across from Luz. In Eda's case it was with literally creaking limbs, but she still did it. Mami looked horrendously embarrassed but also very resolute. "You remember how I told you I'm bisexual, yes?" Mami began. Luz did remember that. Mami had told Luz that shortly after she'd came out. It turned out that bi flag magnet on the fridge had been for Mami the whole time. "Your father and I, for our anniversary, decided we'd have a one night stand with a woman together."

Luz wished she could sink through the floor. Being on another planet would have been a nice substitute. "You're telling me…" She couldn't even say the words.

"That's right, kiddo," Eda said with a devil may care grin. "I had a threesome with your folks. Fifteen years ago, at San Diego Comic Con. We all used fake names. I never saw them again after that night. Didn't have the slightest clue I'd gotten your mom up the duff."

"And naturally I had no reason to assume your father hadn't been responsible," Mami said. "You've never demonstrated yourself to be anything less than norm – human. I never made the connection between Eda the witch and Marilyn the woman with the most incredible Hephaestan cosplay I'd ever seen."

Whoa. Luz was half-witch now. Wait, no, she'd always been half-witch. No wonder she had taken to the Boiling Isles like a duck takes to water. Oh, gosh, Eda was her mom! Her real mom, not just her found family witch mom! This was just the coolest thing ever now that it didn't involve a horrible act of betrayal.

"Does that mean I can do magic now?" Luz asked, jumping up and down with excitement.

"Only one way to find out," Eda said with a humoring smile.

Luz spun her finger in the air, trying to will the magic outward. And just for a second, she felt it as a spark emerged into the air and then just as quickly dissipated. It felt exactly like it had when she had cast magic in her titanic form. Well, not exactly. It was a pale shadow of that feeling. But still! Magic! Real magic!

"Wow!" Luz said with a huge grin. "So…what happened? Because I know I wasn't able to do that before."

Eda shrugged. "My guess, whatever Papa Titan did to you must have jumpstarted your witch side. Or maybe he just gave you a bile sac as a parting gift."

"So do I hear wedding bells in the future…?" Luz said hopefully.

Mami laughed. "Oh, sweetie, it doesn't work like that. I'm happy to share you with her, but it really was just a one time thing." Luz opened her mouth. "And, yes, you can go to Hexside."

Luz pumped her fist in the air. "YES!"

"It wouldn't do to deprive you of your heritage," Mami said. "And I know how hard things were back at school for you. You can go back and forth between realms. Eda and I will share custody. We can set up some records saying you're being homeschooled."

"I happen to know an expert forger in the Human Realm," Eda bragged. "He might be a little wanted for burglebezzlement, though…"

"I didn't hear that," Camila muttered.

"I SAID I KNOW AN EXPERT FORGER!" Eda screamed and Luz giggled.

Her mother – her mother! – reached out and squeezed her hands. "I'm sorry I left you in the lurch all those years, Luz. I didn't mean to. But from here on out, things'll be different! From now on, you're going to be Luz Noceda-Clawthorne!"

"Aw, that's sweet," Mami said with a grin as she stood up.

Mom stood up as well. "And once Bump finds out, he'll have three consecutive heart attacks!"

"That's not sweet," Mami said. Mom walked out of the room. "You didn't mean that, right? Eda? EDA!"

Luz lay back in her sleeping bag with a contented smile on her face. King wandered back into the room. "Man, I sure needed to take that dump," he announced.

"TMI, King!"

King laughed and hopped back in the sleeping bag. "So about that stork thing…where exactly are the stork caves in your realm?"

"…I think I'll let Mom answer that one."