The disclaimer telling you that I don't own any Ghosts characters has gone out to a nice meal. Takes place after the events of Woodstone's Hottest Couple.

Restaurant Des Fantomes

"Let me get this straight," Alberta spoke up as the ghosts met in the living room. "Sam and Jay are going to open their own restaurant? In addition to the B&B?"

"Yeah," Flower nodded. "They're gonna turn the old barn into what they call a destination restaurant! And Mark is going to be their partner and help fix it and come over every day so Jay won't get lonely!"

"Which is just great," Pete said sarcastically. "Just what we need around here!"

"You're not looking at the big picture Pete. I think the restaurant is a great idea!" Trevor grinned. "Think about it! New smells! New experiences! New livings to watch!"

"Watching them fix up the barn and build the restaurant would be entertaining," Isaac remarked. "Give us something to do and talk about."

"It's also a different place for us to go on the property," Trevor added.

"I haven't been out to a restaurant since I died," Pete admitted. "I can't even remember the last restaurant I went to. It's been so long."

Trevor went on. "It would be like we could travel to someplace different than the mansion!"

"YES!" Thorfinn called out. "Anything different is good!"

"Not to mention a restaurant is an opportunity to witness lots of drama," Sasappis added. "Especially if all those reality TV shows are anything to go by."

"We can watch birthday parties at the restaurant," Trevor counted. "Anniversary parties. Retirement dinners. Corporate dinners. Weddings. See some really hot bridesmaids…"

"Oh, more weddings would be nice," Flower nodded.

"Or some very attractive construction workers," Hetty added. "Shirtless construction workers getting all sweaty. Yes please! I'd like that!"

"Okay I'm all for the reconstruction project," Pete admitted. "Even if Mark is going to be here. I am curious to see how they'll paint the walls. Put on some nice bright cheery colors. Maybe put up some nice new art we haven't seen before? Seascapes are always nice!"

"I admit," Hetty sighed. "It would be nice to see the barn in use again. It's been abandoned for almost a hundred years."

"They used to hide booze in there during Prohibition," Alberta explained. "And sometimes make the booze too. I haven't been in there since 1933! Alcohol became legal and they stopped making booze. What was the point?"

"Wait," Flower blinked. "I thought Earl was the bootlegger that brought booze in?"

Hetty sighed. "My son and his partners started out merely outsourcing alcohol and spirits from other bootleggers and then selling them at a markup. Then after Alberta's death and the stock market crash Thomas decided it would be cheaper to make the alcohol on the property himself. I have told you this several times before."

"By that time the Woodstones had the sheriff and half the cops around here in their pocket," Alberta added. "It didn't hurt that one of their relatives was a judge and a silent partner. And after the crash a lot of people were desperate for work. Nobody was going to tell. And those that tried…"

"Are secretly buried out in the woods," Sasappis added.

"They were killed off the property but buried here?" Flower blinked.

"Woodstone Mansion is so remote and the family was held in high regard," Hetty added. "No one was going to search the property. Especially with all the thorn bushes and the skunks."

"A lot of Woodstone's men quit because of skunk attacks," Thorfinn added. "Even Thorfinn admits…That was a bad smell. And this is from guy who has wolf urine scent on his furs."

Sasappis added. "You wouldn't think a skunk smell would be worse than wolf urine. But yeah it was."

"Again, we don't tell Samantha about this," Isaac warned. "She has enough to deal with without a bootlegging graveyard. As well as some of the other corpses hidden on the property."

"Anyway," Alberta added. "After the bootlegging gig dried up the still in the barn was dismantled and sold for parts. And almost nobody went into the barn unless to check it out. But since there was nothing there…"

Trevor asked. "The barn wasn't used by the last occupants of the mansion?"

"Not really no," Isaac waved. "The last generations of Woodstones weren't horse people or farmers so the barn remained empty."

Hetty smiled. "Once that barn housed some of the finest horses in the county. Our carriages were immaculate and well made. We also had some lovely cows. Do you remember the cows, Isaac?"

"I do," Isaac nodded. "Not a large herd but enough to provide fresh milk which the servants made delectable creams and cheese from."

Hetty nodded at the memory. "Yes, a restaurant at Woodstone Mansion would be quite impressive. A destination restaurant would definitely have people talking about Woodstone."

Sasappis spoke up. "Well, if the dead body in the lake didn't get them talking before…"

Trevor glared at Sasappis. "Or the protests."

"Oh right," Sasappis winced.

Hetty spoke decisively. "Yes! A five-star restaurant at Woodstone Mansion would definitely bring a higher class of clientele than we've seen lately."

"Hey!" Trevor pointed out. "We had my parents and Tara Reid!"

"And my family!" Pete added.

"I was referring to some of the other guests," Hetty told them.

"Like Todd?" Alberta remarked. "You can say it. It's Todd, isn't it?"

"And the cult. Or those college hoodlums at the speakeasy," Hetty added. "My point is, this is a chance for Woodstone to regain its reputation."

"Interesting choice of words," Sasappis remarked. "Remember all the people over the centuries who died here?"

"Some of us are still here," Alberta added.

"I can see it now," Hetty ignored them. "The Barn at Woodstone Mansion. No, too common. Woodstone Restaurant? No? Too obvious. Perhaps something in French?"

Sasappis quipped. "How about Restaurant Des Fantomes?"

Hetty pressed on. "My point is, this restaurant will greatly benefit Woodstone Mansion as well as our afterlives."

"It would also be a place where we can double date," Flower brightened as she looked at Isaac and Nigel.

"Yes!" Thorfinn nodded. "Now that Hetty and Trevor no longer couple…Your schedule has cleared up!"

"So it has," Isaac realized.

"Oh, good Lord," Nigel blinked.

Trevor grinned maliciously. "Now you two can go on double dates with Flower and Thorfinn instead of Hetty and me. Since we broke up. And are definitely never going to hook up again."

"Never, ever, ever…" Hetty grinned, seeing another advantage to keeping her affair with Trevor a secret. "In fact, didn't we have an engagement for tomorrow? Thorfinn and Flower can take our place!"

"YES!" Thorfinn whooped. "Thorfinn and Flower are ready to step up!"

"It'll be fun," Flower grinned. "I have no idea what we can talk about but I'm sure we'll think of something."

"You could always tell them about the time your commune robbed a bank," Trevor suggested.

"Oh yeah," Flower beamed. "Did I ever tell you guys about the time I robbed a bank?"

"And Thorfinn," Hetty added. "You can always tell that cod story you're so fond of."

"Ooh! Yes!" Thorfinn added. "That's a good icebreaker! Also, story of how Thorfinn once broke ice with Dane! The secret was how you threw him! Just hard enough to break ice. And Dane's spine."

"Oh wonderful," Isaac deadpanned. "This will be a joy."

"Thanks a lot," Nigel glared at Hetty and Trevor.

"You're welcome," Trevor smirked.

"Oh!" Pete realized. "I remember the restaurant I was last in! It was this great place called The Royal Retriever. A local pub style restaurant. Carol and I went there two nights before I died with some other couples. And Jerry. It was a group thing."

"Perhaps we can all do some group things?" Nigel suggested. "So that no one is left out?"

"Yes, I mean Hetty you must be devastated after your breakup," Isaac added.

"Well at least Trevor didn't cheat on me like Elias," Hetty remarked.

"He didn't have any opportunity to cheat on you," Sasappis looked at her.

Hetty ignored him. "No, I believe I will carry on as I always have."

"Yeah, I'm good too," Trevor nodded. "That couples thing wasn't really us anyway."

"That we knew," Alberta scoffed. "It was only a matter of time before you two broke up."

"Excuse me?" Hetty looked at her.

"What do you mean by that?" Trevor snapped.

"Carol suggested that Jerry come with us," Pete remembered. "And I agreed. Because I felt bad for Jerry. He was all alone and didn't have anyone. He was between girlfriends he said. HA!"

"Oh, come on!" Alberta said. "You two have as much in common as Al Capone and Arnold Rothstein. Both may have been in the same racket but they had very different styles!"

"I know what he was really between," Pete went on. "Me and my wife!"

"We all saw that breakup coming," Sasappis told them. "The only things you two have in common are money and sex."

"And drugs," Flower spoke up. "Don't forget the drugs!"

"Okay yeah and you two were both drug addicts," Sasappis added. "That's not exactly the basis for a solid relationship."

"What would you know about having a solid relationship anyway?" Trevor asked.

Hetty gave him a look. "You are hardly one to lecture us about being a couple, Sasappis!"

Flower added. "Don't you have to actually be in a relationship even once to give advice on them?"

"DID EVERYBODY FORGET ABOUT JESSICA?" Sasappis shouted.

"I remember what I ate," Pete sighed. "Some potato skins for appetizers. A small steak with baked potato and cooked onions. A salad. All you can eat. They had a salad bar. And for dessert I had a nice apple crisp with whipped cream and a small decaf tea. I was never a coffee guy and any caffeine after three in the afternoon kept me up at night."

"What's to remember? She was only here for little more than a fortnight," Isaac pointed out. "And you only dated her for less than half of that time!"

"Yeah, even Hetty and I lasted longer than that," Trevor added.

"She was a car ghost!" Sasappis snapped. "Who needed to travel on the road! How is that my fault?"

"I wanted to have the larger steak," Pete remarked. "But Carol was going on and on about how it would affect my heart. Said too much meat could kill me. HA! Show's what she knew!" He pointed to his arrow.

"Look what Jessica and I had was special!" Sasappis pointed out.

"That's probably what she says to all the other guys," Trevor rolled his eyes.

"She said there was no one else!" Sasappis protested.

"She also said that Freddy murdered her," Hetty pointed out. "That's not the action of a trustworthy woman."

"From what I've heard about Jessica," Nigel paused. "I would take the things she said with a grain of salt."

"Wouldn't be surprised if she already has another beau in another garage," Alberta nodded. "Or had another one to begin with. I did when I was alive. So to speak."

Sasappis blinked. "Son of a bitch…"

"You know what affected my heart, Carol?" Pete shouted. "YOUR CHEATING ON ME WITH MY BEST FRIEND BEHIND MY BACK! THAT'S WHAT REALLY AFFECTED MY HEART!"

"Uh…" Trevor then noticed Pete was having a breakdown.

"AND WHAT DID YOU CARE IF I DIED FROM EATING MORE STEAK CAROL?" Pete was lost in his little world. "THAT WAY YOU COULD HAVE BEEN WITH JERRY FASTER?"

Trevor pointed. "Pete's having a psychotic breakdown. Should we be doing something about this?"

Pete went on. "HELL, I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF YOU TWO MADE OUT AT MY FUNERAL RIGHT ON TOP OF MY COFFIN!"

Isaac remarked. "Yyyeeaaaaahhh, we probably should."

Pete ranted on. "HEY IF YOU WERE IN SUCH A HURRY TO BE WITH JERRY WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SHOVE STEAK DOWN MY THROAT EVERY NIGHT? IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A LOT KINDER TO DIE FROM CHOLESTOROL KNOWING YOU WANTED ME GONE THAN WAIT FOR YOU LIKE A SAP FOR OVER FORTY YEARS YOU…"

"PETE!" Trevor shouted at Pete. He slapped him on the face. "Snap out of it!"

"Huh?" Pete blinked. "Did, did I go somewhere?"

"Kind of," Trevor groaned.

Flower whispered to Alberta. "That's one of the reasons you're not dating Pete, right?"

"It doesn't help," Alberta winced. "If I wanted that kind of crazy, I'd have gone with Al Capone!"

Pete blinked. "What were we talking about again?"

"Oh just how this new restaurant will affect our afterlives," Isaac waved. "Nothing major."

"And how Thorfinn and I will now double date with Isaac and Nigel," Flower added. "Instead of Trevor and Hetty who broke up. Then you got all upset because you remembered how your best friend cheated on you with your wife behind your back."

"That too," Alberta rolled her eyes.

Flower kept going. "And then you went on and on about how Carol and Jerry backstabbed you the whole time with their secret affair and all you wanted was a bigger steak and they were totally doing…"

"THANK YOU, FLOWER!" Pete shouted. "I'm caught up now!"

"Oy vey," Trevor groaned.

Sasappis went over and put his arm around Pete. "It's okay Pete. I'm here for you. I know how tough relationships can be."

Pete looked at Sasappis. "How would you know? You only dated Jessica for only a few weeks. I was married for over 16 years! There's a big difference!"

"Oh, come on!" Sasappis protested.

"And no offense Sass," Pete added. "But even I could tell she was lying about having another guy on the side."

"And that is from a cuckolded man who was completely blindsided by his wife," Hetty added.

"I mean if she's capable of lying about if someone killed her," Pete added. "Odds are she's lying about having another boyfriend."

"Unbelievable!" Sasappis stormed out of the room.

Pete blinked. "Wow. Some guys just can't handle the truth about their relationships, can they?"

Isaac remarked. "And the drama is already beginning!"