That felt too easy. It was terrible and painful for everyone involved, but Alec and Magnus had seemed to reach some kind of resolution. But was it really over? It wasn't like Simon wanted Alec to keep pushing Magnus away, but there had been a lot left unsaid. They barely spoke before Alec agreed to work things out with Magnus. It was possible they were going to talk more somewhere else, without him for an audience, but Simon's gut told him that wasn't a certainty. All the info he'd gotten from Alec had been hard fought and was like pulling teeth. Would he open up more freely with someone he loved? The fact that Alec had gotten so bad before made Simon fearful that he wouldn't.

But Simon couldn't bring himself to say anything right now. As much as he wanted to throw himself into the middle and keep the conversation going, it wasn't his place. Who was he to come between a couple who had verbally agreed to work on things? But would they?

Even if Simon was right and Alec was only paying lip service to Magnus right now, calling it out would only make things worse. Magnus would probably be annoyed with him for messing up their progress and Alec would stonewall him into submission. Then Simon would be on the outside again, completely powerless to do anything. He couldn't ruin the little bit of friendship they'd built up, just in case Alec needed it again. Simon needed to be strategic and let this play out a bit. But that didn't mean he wasn't going to do anything.

Magnus gathered up Alec's things before portalling him away a few minutes later, after a little more touching and softly exchanged words. Alec gave him a quiet thanks before he stepped through, and then Simon was alone again. It felt wrong after the events of the previous night. There had been moments when Simon wanted nothing more than someone to swoop in and take Alec somewhere he could get the help he needed. But now that he was gone, Simon knew that he would've sat with Alec as long as it took. That joke about being immortal had been more truthful than he realized. Simon was prepared to spend as much time as Alec needed to get better. But just because the setting had changed, didn't mean that fact had.

Simon texted Maia that he might be busier than usual for the next few days, but he would make it up to her soon. It was pretty much the same excuse he'd used the night before, but he didn't want to outright lie to her. And he definitely couldn't tell her the whole truth. He was kind of afraid that she'd get upset and possibly break up with him for blowing her off so much, but Alec's well-being felt like more of a priority at the moment. Simon didn't have much experience being someone's boyfriend, but he knew for sure how to be a good friend. And that's what he was going to be for Alec right now.

He called Clary, casually asking if he could crash with her at the institute for a few days. There were no more unfair rules about downworlders not being welcome anymore, thanks to Alec's leadership, so it wouldn't look too weird to have him hang around. She readily agreed, so he packed up what he needed and made the trek over. Thank goodness he didn't have to wait until it was dark anymore. That would've driven him insane with worry. Now he just had to figure out how to keep an eye on Alec, without it being too obvious.

Stepping into Magnus' loft was like returning to an old home after years away. There were still things around that reminded you of moments passed, but there was still a bit of disconnect. The space didn't bring Alec the comfort it once had.

Alec had dreamed of officially moving into this place eventually. He'd never lived anywhere other than various institutes his whole life and before, he would've said that was normal. It was all he'd known. But seeing how Magnus got to decide everything in his apartment made Alec ache to be able to do the same.

He slept in the bed provided, ate the food prepared, and interacted with the people who were in the same situation as him. It was straight forward and controlled. Alec caught glimpses of other lives during missions of course, but that always felt like things meant for other people. He had a higher calling and a real purpose in life and it wasn't to have fun and live freely. But being with Magnus made him crave it. Now that he was back though, it felt more unobtainable than it had ever before.

But that didn't matter anymore, because he wasn't here for himself. He was here to fix things with Magnus and then he could go back to the institute and fix things with Jace and Izzy. Alec had a new goal set that he could focus on and forget about all the unimportant stuff from before.

"Alexander, are you alright?" Magnus asked, making a soft noise of disappointment as he gently inspected one of his battered hands.

"I am now," Alec replied, because that was true. A night of sleep and a little food had done enough to get his energy levels back up to make it through another day. He was still exhausted, but not so much that he couldn't power through.

"May I heal you?" Magnus requested, reaching up to brush back the hair on Alec's forehead. He wanted to refuse, since he didn't deserve the effort, but he could admit getting back to top form would help him in the long run. And staying like this would only make Magnus worry.

"Thank you," Alec said in agreement, feeling the waves of magic wash over him. He watched as the cuts on his hands knitted back together and felt the bump on the back of his head stop throbbing. Magnus obviously didn't stop at only the wounds he saw, but reset Alec's body altogether. Did that mean he knew everything Alec had done to himself? He wasn't completely sure how the magic worked, but Magnus had to know that more of his power had been needed than it would've taken for just his hands. He wasn't ready to talk about it though.

"Alexander-"

"Do you think I could take a shower?" Alec asked, already walking toward the bedroom. "I'm pretty sure Simon's been having sex in that bed and I didn't notice a washing machine anywhere."

"I think we need to talk."

"And we will," Alec assured him. He just needed a few minutes alone to regroup and figure out how to play this. Alec was just about to step into the bathroom when Magnus magicked the door shut, blocking his path. He sighed, resting his forehead against the door.

"Please, look at me," Magnus begged, and Alec closed his eyes in resignation. He wasn't supposed to be here, causing Magnus so much turmoil. If Simon had minded his own business, everything would be better. Alec needed to convince Magnus that he was okay. His whole life had been spent pretending and he could do it again.

"Magnus, I'm sorry," Alec sighed, turning to face him. "I had a fight with Jace and Izzy yesterday and I guess I overreacted. I went on patrol to try to clear my mind and got a bit in over my head and Simon had to come step in. Then I lashed out at you because I was embarrassed."

"This has been going on longer than last night."

"Do you want me to admit that I regret our breakup? Or that it's been harder on me than I've been letting on?" Alec asked, slumping a little now that part of the truth was out. He still thought it was the right decision, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. "I convinced myself that it was too late to change my mind, so I pushed you away to make it easier on me. It was selfish and I'm sorry."

"No, don't apologize," Magnus insisted, walking over to cradle Alec's face again. "I'm sorry I ever made you think that you couldn't come to me, with anything. I have so many regrets about how we left things and I should've tried harder."

"It was never your fault, it was mine," Alec argued. All of this was his fault. "I let my pride get in the way and thought you deserved better than to be saddled with someone like me. I'm not good at this stuff and it didn't seem fair to force you to stick around while I made a mess of things."

"Alexander, you are being way too hard on yourself. I'm sorry that I gave you the impression that a mistake couldn't be overcome. The blame lies on me as well," Magnus said firmly. Alec wanted to argue further and insist that Magnus was the injured party in all this and couldn't shoulder any of what went wrong, but he knew it was pointless. Dragging the conversation out longer only risked more being said that Alec wanted to keep to himself. Magnus needed him to agree and move forward, so that's what he would do.

"Can we just start over? Try to figure this all out together?" Alec asked. He trailed his fingers down Magnus' arms, letting his hands rest against his sides. Alec let the proximity of their bodies distract him from the fact that this wasn't going to be as easy as he wanted it to be. Magnus would be able to tell if Alec's heart wasn't fully in it, but he had to try.

"Okay," Magnus agreed, rubbing his thumb along his cheek before letting him go. "You take your shower while I conjure us up a quick lunch. Any requests?"

"Whatever you want," Alec said, giving him a quick squeeze before retreating into the privacy of the bathroom. That hadn't gone too poorly, had it?

Alexander was lying. Now that Magnus had forced himself to see things without the lens of hurt coloring his view, it was disturbingly obvious. No wonder Isabelle had been so angry with him. Brushing off how bad Alexander was just made him look so terribly callous. But that was done. Now that he knew for certain that not all was right with his love, he was going to fix this.

He let Alexander take his shower and pick at the French pastries he set out on the table. Magnus knew they were his favorites, so he made a note of the disinterest. He even let Alexander talk him into letting him go back to the institute, wanting nothing more than to refuse and keep the conversation going. But this was tricky and needed to be dealt with delicately. Alexander could be very stubborn and Magnus didn't want to take any steps backward after they'd just gone a tiny step forward.

Magnus portalled them to the institute, giving Alexander a few minutes alone to change into something more work appropriate in his bathroom. Not too long ago Alexander would've changed in front of him without thought, but they weren't back to that point yet. And that really was the least important thing they needed to focus on at the moment. Even if after all of this Alexander decided he was happier for them to be apart, the key word was happy. That was all Magnus could ask for.

"Perfect," Magnus complimented as Alexander walked out of the bathroom. He started to walk over to straighten his collar just like he had all that time ago, but stopped himself. It felt like that move would be unwanted at the moment and Magnus didn't want to push. And not just because of the fact that Alexander usually preferred to keep things as professional as possible around the institute. "How about I walk you to your office?"

"Sure," Alexander agreed, giving him a casual smile before leading him out into the hallway. But was that a real smile? Isabelle had mentioned once that Alexander rarely smiled before he came along. It made him feel sad, yet honored. He was so proud to be the person who could make him happy, but also devastated to know that he hadn't felt that way before. Could Magnus still be that person?

They walked along the corridors in silence, Magnus trying to be inconspicuous in his observation of Alexander. He may have been a little hasty in his decision to fully heal him, but Magnus couldn't stand the thought of seeing Alexander in pain for a second longer than necessary. And it wasn't like his magic had given him a complete medical diagnostic, but it told him enough to know that not everything was from a patrol gone wrong.

To an outsider, Alexander looked fine. He was walking tall and assured, just like any other day. But with parents like his, he'd had to learn how to do that at an early age, no matter how he felt. Of course there was nothing wrong with powering through and getting the job done when you needed to, but Alexander should never have to do that when it came to his personal life. When it came to Magnus.

"How does dinner at the loft sound? There is a handmade pasta from this little bistro in Italy that I've been eager to try. And food always tastes best when it's shared," Magnus suggested.

"I'm a bit behind, so I'll have to see how much work I've got to get through before I can leave," Alexander replied. He must've seen the discouraged look on his face because he quickly continued. "But I'll try my best."

"Well, if there is anything at all that I can do to help, just say the word. I'm very good at sorting papers and answering phone calls. I could even lead some newbie shadowhunters in a training session. How often do you get the chance to hone your skills against an actual warlock in a controlled environment?"

"You really don't have to do that, but thank you."

"My calendar is completely free."

"Magnus."

"Alexander."

"Alec!"

Magnus cut his eyes to the side, finding a sheepish looking Simon standing in a doorway. He normally didn't have a problem with the vampire, finding him a bit entertaining actually in certain settings. But the way that Alexander immediately tensed up was setting off alarm bells in his head that Magnus was not going to ignore. He'd ignored too much already.

"Lovely to see you again so soon. What brings you to the institute?" Magnus asked, wanting to take lead in this conversation.

"Just hanging out with Clary," Simon said brightly. Magnus could tell he was trying to keep eye contact with him, but his eyes kept straying to Alexander. If this were anyone else, Magnus might suspect that something intimate went on between the two of them, but he knew that Alexander would never. Even if he weren't still fairly innocent in that regard, the last person he would choose was Simon. But this tension was real. Magnus knew something had gone on before he showed up that morning and this interaction was proving it even further.

"How nice."

"I need to make a phone call," Alexander said quickly, striding off without another word.

"I'll swing by later to see how things are going," Magnus called after him, receiving no response. He sighed, contemplating what he should do next. Leaving was out of the question, but hovering outside of the office didn't seem like the best plan either. He could stealthily find out what all needed to be done and lighten Alexander's load. Maybe Isabelle would tell him, if she wasn't still angry with him. No matter what he decided, there was one thing left that he definitely had to do.

"I should get going. Clary is probably looking for me," Simon said, rocking back on his heels.

"Of course, but would you mind helping me with something first?" Magnus asked.

"Sure," Simon agreed, looking a bit wary. Magnus led him into the room they were standing next to, making sure it was empty for what he was about to do next. Once he confirmed it and Simon was fully inside, Magnus sent out a burst of energy to seal the door shut and whirled around to face the now startled vampire. It was time to get to the bottom of this.

"I want to know what happened with Alexander last night. Now."