All three of us land on some weird-looking ground. Everything is dark, but I can still see clearly as if the sun is shining. I look towards the sky, and I see a black sun. Tom starts speaking: "Hey, Magic 8 Ball. Tell us about the Shadow Realm." A message appears on the Magic 8 Ball: "The Shadow Realm is the realm of shadows where deceased souls go once their hosts die. It has a black sun that produces anti-light, which produces light that is dark, but still visible. Ghosts and demons usually run around freely, and they won't hesitate to attack any invaders."
Suddenly, a ghost appears, and it starts making menacing sounds towards us. "Nick, Gatsby, let's destroy this ghost!" Tom says, as he pulls a strange-looking weapon out of the Magic 8 Ball. It is a sword, but it has two blades instead of one. At the end of each blade, there is an axe head. Between the two blades, there is a bowstring that looks like it can launch some arrows. The opposite end of the sword's handle has a large hammer head. The sword handle also has a set of brass knuckles stuck to it, which has spikes on it. The state of Texas is drawn all over it for some reason. I facepalm as I look at this sad excuse for a weapon. "Tom, what the hell is this abomination?" Tom responds: "It's a ghost. These are very common enemies in the—" "No, I'm talking about the weapon."
Tom starts explaining the story behind his weapon. "This sword is named Texcalibur. It was apparently made in Texas thousands of years ago. I still have its full story memorized. When the first humans arrived in Texas, they encountered a demon that terrorized everyone. The demon was named "Ronald Trump," and he is said to be the ancestor of Donald Trump. My ancestor, Juan Buchanan, then forged Texcalibur in the sacred flames of Mount Dallas. Juan Buchanan then defeated Ronald Trump, and sealed him in the Golden Frying Pan, and he saved all of humanity. Although the Golden Frying Pan was lost, Texcalibur has been passed down through my family for generations. It was even used by my great grandfather—president James Buchanan—when he fought and defeated John Frémont in the election of 1856. Texcalibur is said to be the strongest weapon in the universe."
I respond: "You'd be better off using a pair of safety scissors as a weapon than that piece of shit." Finally, Tom rushes towards the ghost. He swings Texcalibur at it, and the ghost is cut in half in half very quickly. Wow, maybe I underestimated the power of that sword. Or maybe the ghosts in the Shadow Realm are just really weak. If I had to guess, I would say the ghosts here are really weak.
Tom speaks to us: "I'd like to see both of you fight against these ghosts to see if we have what it takes to defeat the Shadow Emperor. Gatsby, you should solo the next one for good combat practice. Nick, you'll get the one after that. Alright?"
We all wait a few minutes, and another ghost appears. Gatsby approaches it. "Alright, ghost! It's time for you to perish!" Gatsby runs up to the ghost, and he tries punching it. Wow, he's so hot. However, the ghost doesn't seem to take any damage from Gatsby's attack. Gatsby speaks: "Alright, it seems like I have to use my secret fighting technique." Suddenly, a bunch of electricity appears around Gatsby. He punches the ghost again, and the electrical energy is unleashed out of his hands, and into the ghost, and the ghost is defeated. "I've had the ability to do lightning magic since I was a child. While I was dead and in the Shadow Realm, I have practiced it, and I've gotten very skilled at it." Somehow, he's even hotter than he was before.
The next ghost appears, which is for me to destroy. I light a cigarette, and I put it into my mouth. "Tom, I'll show you what a real weapon looks like." I pull a deck of cards out of my pocket, and I shuffle them in my hands. While I'm shuffling these cards, I might as well explain how it works to Tom and Gatsby. "This weapon is called Fifty-two Pickup. Each one of the fifty-two cards has a unique effect. If I draw a joker, I can choose any one of the fifty-two cards. Alright, let's see what I get." I finish shuffling the cards, and I draw the top one. I look at it, and I see that it is the two of diamonds. This card is useless. All it does is make my arm slightly longer. I draw again, and I get the four of clubs. This one is slightly less useless; it lets me shoot small fireballs out of my fingertips. I point my finger at the ghost, and the tip of the finger starts glowing red. I launch some fireballs at the ghost, and it is destroyed. I put the two cards back into the deck, and my arm returns to its normal length.
Tom starts speaking: "I see that you both have very strong combat skills. The three of us should be enough to defeat the Shadow Emperor. Magic 8 Ball, where do we go next?" A message appears on Tom's Magic 8 Ball: "The Shadow Emperor currently resides in the Shadow Castle."
Gatsby speaks: "Alright, let's go find the Shadow Emperor, and destroy him!" I hear a familiar voice from behind me: "You three, I won't let you get away with this! I must protect the Shadow Realm at all costs!" It's the voice of George Wilson.