Did George and Jordan even interact in The Great Gatsby? I don't remember, and I'm too lazy to read The Great Gatsby again, so I'm just going to say they never met each other.
I speak to Nega-George: "How the hell are you here? You should be locked in the Shadow Realm!"
Nega-George closes his eyes: "Nope. I'm not telling you."
If he's not going to speak, I have other methods of finding out. I grab Tom's Magic 8 Ball: "Hey, Mr. Magic 8 Ball Man, how is Nega-George here?"
Nega-George speaks: "Hey! That's cheating! You can't do that!"
I see the message on the Magic 8 Ball: "Nega-George has been resurrected because a cult has emerged, and they started worshiping George Wilson after the cult leader found a cookbook written by George. The recipes in the cookbook were so legendary, that thousands of people have gathered to worship its creator."
This is so stupid. I see Nega-George say something: "That's right. My cookbook is so great. You should try reading it. The Pizza-Ramen is my personal favorite recipe in the whole book. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here to kill all of you to get my revenge. That's right. Tom Buchanan, you killed me in the Shadow Realm and also Myrtle—"
I interrupt him: "Actually, that was me who—"
"I don't care, Nick. Anyway, I also hate you too because of that time when… Um… I don't know, I'm just going to kill you. And you, the weird girl with the golf clubs. I actually don't have anything against you because I don't know who you are."
"I'm Jordan," says Jordan.
Nega-George continues: "Nobody asked. But now that Nick's stupid boyfriend isn't here—"
"Nobody insults Gatsby and gets away with it, pisshead!" I say. I grab my Fifty-two Pickup, and I draw the first card: it's the five of spades. This one summons an extension cord. Under most circumstances, this card is useless. However, instead of using it to conduct electricity, I can use it to strangle this asshole to death. I wrap the extension cord around Nega-George's neck, and it phases through him.
Nega-George speaks: "Did you forget? I'm basically a ghost. Without my body holding me back, I'm invincible!"
Nega-George aims his hands at me, and he fires a laser beam. I dodge it easily, and it hits one of the tables behind me.
The manager of Burger King walks over to us. "Hey, I'm going to have to ask you all to leave." We all stop fighting, and we just stare at the manager for a few seconds. I then walk out of Burger King, and my friends and Nega-George follow.
"Now, where were we?" says Nega-George. "Oh, I remember. I was going to kill all of you." Nega-George then starts charging a laser with his hands.
Tom speaks to me: "Nick, do you remember how we defeated Nega-George in the past? That's right, we discovered that he only exists as a projection of the real George's mind. We were able to destroy Nega-George by killing his physical body. However, according to my calculations, his physical body isn't accessible within the proximate spatial-field, as it was sealed in the Shadow Realm. With unmistakable certainty, I can deduce that it will be absolutely impossible to defeat the entity known as 'Nega-George' using the aforementioned methods. Recall earlier what the Magic 8 Ball enlightened us on; Nega-George has returned because a mysterious cult has emerged, with the purpose of worshiping George for his supposedly-legendary cookbook. Even if we destroy this particular instance of Nega-George, we cannot say for certain that he will remain nonextant, as the cult who resurrected him will still remain. In theory, it is inconsequential to continue fighting Nega-George. Our best chance would be to take out the cult that is supplying Nega-George with power. However, if we ignore him and head straight for the cult, Nega-George will notice what we are doing, and he will counterattack us, leaving us in a vulnerable position. I shall construct the plan regarding the destruction of Nega-George. We must partition ourselves into two divisions. One of us will stay and fight back against Nega-George, while the other two will head to the cult to destroy it. I will assess each of our individual fighting abilities to determine which of us should stay and fight Nega-George, and who should attack the cult. First, there's me. I have Texcalibur, which is literally the greatest weapon that the world has conceived in its multi-billion-year history. With Texcalibur, I am practically invincible. However, it is common to us that physical attacks will have no effect on Nega-George. This is where my other technique comes in: my Magic 8 Ball. This mystical Magic 8 Ball apparently knows everything about the universe. While it can't supply me with any attacks, I can learn more about Nega-George's weaknesses, and possibly produce a solution to defeating him. Next, there's you, Nick. You have that deck of cards containing fifty-two different effects. I am unfamiliar with all the different cards in the deck, but I find it probable that you have at least a few cards that are capable of dealing damage to Nega-George. You also have that necromancy book written by Abigail Williams, the most legendary witch from Salem. Since Nega-George is practically a ghost, he can be classified as dead, so your necromancy should be of use in this situation. You also have the flaming sword from Myrtle. However, just like my fantastic Texcalibur, your physical weapons will have no effect on Nega-George. Last, there's Jordan. Judging by her performance at the golf tournament, I have observed that she is very precise with her golf clubs. I also didn't even notice her when she placed the landmines, or how she was able to fit an entire bomber jet into her pocket. I have determined that Jordan is very calculating and unpredictable. However, I didn't see her use any notable non-physical attacks during the golf tournament, so she likely won't be able to do much against Nega-George. Based on this assessment I made on the three of us, I can confidently say I found the best possible strategy we can use to defeat Nega-George. Nick, you will stay here and fight against this spiritual manifestation of Nega-George, while Jordan and I will rush to the cult to stop them. I can determine the location of the cult with my Magic 8 Ball, and we will beat up their leader. Once the cult has been destroyed, Nega-George should cease to exist in this realm. However, this task may be more difficult than it sounds. First of all, we have no knowledge on this mysterious cult, meaning we aren't aware of their fighting capabilities. Knowing that they were capable of summoning a spiritual manifestation of a deceased man through pure faith alone shows that they have a lot of parapsychological power that can transcend the boundaries of reality. Their intentions of resurrecting Nega-George are unknown to us. There is a good possibility that they are only using Nega-George as a diversion, while their true goal remains—"
Nega-George interrupts Tom: "Hey, will you just shut up? I've been charging this laser while waiting for you to finish your stupid monologue for like five hundred hours now! Take this! Obliterating Dark Giga Turbo Laser Deluxe 5000 Special Edition!" Nega-George aims his hands towards Tom, and he gets ready to fire the laser.
Tom then pulls out his shitty Texcalibur. Suddenly, Nega-George launches the laser towards Tom. Somehow, Tom manages to deflect the laser with Texcalibur.
Nega-George speaks: "You fell for my trap! You were standing on top of my black-hole bomb this whole time!" Nega-George then pulls out a detonator, and he pushes a button on it. Suddenly, a black hole appears underneath Nega-George, and it sucks him in. "What?! This is impossible! I was sure I placed the bomb under the location where you're standing!" says Nega-George.
Jordan speaks: "I noticed the bomb in the ground before the fight began. I knew you were trying to get Tom to step on it, so I just quietly moved it under your location instead."
I see Nega-George struggling, as he tries to escape the black hole. However, its gravitational force is too strong, and he can't escape.
Tom speaks: "Alright, it's time for us to split up now. Jordan and I will go to the cult. Nick, you watch over Nega-George and make sure he doesn't escape."
"Hang on," says Jordan. I see Jordan reaching into her pocket for something. "I came prepared. I have something we can use to destroy Nega-George." Suddenly, I see what she pulls out of her pocket.
Nega-George speaks: "What the hell?! How did you get that?"
Jordan is holding the corpse of George Wilson in her hands. She then drops it onto the ground, and pulls out her driver club. "I don't know, I just kinda found it in a treasure chest. It looked important, so I took it with me."
Jordan hits the corpse with the driver, sending it straight towards the black hole that Nega-George is in.
Nega-George screams: "Noooooooooo!" The corpse gets sucked into the black hole, and it collides with Nega-George. Suddenly, the black hole explodes, creating a mess of corpse pieces and ghost-matter everywhere.
I collect the remains of George's corpse, and absorb them into my necromancy book.
Tom speaks: "Well, I guess that works too. I'll have to change my plan now that Nega-George isn't a problem anymore. We don't have to split into smaller teams anymore; the three of us will head to the cult to destroy it now."
Tom pulls out his Magic 8 Ball and speaks to it: "Where is the location of the evil cult?"
A map shows up on the Magic 8 Ball, showing our current location near Burger King. There is a marker on the map to the northeast showing the building that the cult is located in. I go to my car, and we all get into it. Tom sits in the passenger seat in the front, while Jordan takes one of the back seats.
I start driving. Jordan speaks: "Hey, I haven't seen Daisy in a while. How has she been?"
I speak: "Now that I think about it, I haven't seen Daisy ever since Gatsby died while simping for her. Why the hell would Gatsby pretend to love that bitch? I was always the perfect boyfriend for him. Tom, since you're married to her, do you know how she is?"
Tom speaks: "One day, I woke up, and I found a suicide note from her on my bed. I tried searching everywhere for her, but I couldn't find her. For all I know, she's dead."
"Do you have her corpse?" I ask.
Tom responds: "Nick, don't get any weird ideas. Remember, she was your cousin—"
I interrupt him: "No! That's not what I meant! I meant that I can convert her corpse into some bones for my necromancy spells!"
I arrive at the location that Tom's Magic 8 Ball said the cult is located at. It appears to be a generic church. However, instead of a cross on top of the building, their holy symbol appears to be a slice of pizza being held up by two chopsticks.
I park my car in an empty parking spot. Jordan, Tom, and I all exit the car, and we walk into the church. There is a statue of a weird-looking man in the center, and there is a circle of people surrounding the statue. They appear to be eating something. I take a closer look, and I see what they are eating; they are bowls of ramen, but there are Totino's Pizza Rolls™ in them.
One of the cult members speaks to me: "Hey, I've never seen you three before. Would you all like to try some of Mr. George's absolutely-fantastic Pizza-Ramen?"
Tom speaks: "That would be nice. I'm very hungry right now."
The cult member stands up, and he walks us over to a table where there are some small bowls, some silverware, and a large bowl containing Pizza-Ramen. He hands each of us a bowl, and he gives us each a serving of the Pizza-Ramen.
He walks back over to the statue of the weird man, and he sits in his spot again. There are three empty seats next to him, so I sit in the one next to the cult member. Tom sits next to me, and Jordan sits in the third seat.
The bowl of Pizza-Ramen is emitting a delicious-smelling steam. With my left hand, I bring the bowl closer to my face, while holding the chopsticks in my right hand. I use the chopsticks to grab one of the Totino's Pizza Rolls™, along with some of the noodles. I bring it closer to my face. I place it into my mouth, and I start chewing it. "Holy shit! This is amazing!" I shout. The Totino's Pizza Rolls™ and the noodles create a perfect harmonic blend of flavor along with the miso broth, like an explosion of pure happiness in my mouth. I look over to Tom and Jordan, and they also seem to be enjoying it.
Although this Pizza-Ramen is the greatest thing I have ever eaten in my life, this isn't why I came here. I came here to investigate the case with the return of Nega-George.
I speak to the man who gave us the Pizza-Ramen: "Hey, we're here because we were attacked by Nega-George earlier today. Do you know anything about this?"
Suddenly, the statue in the center of the room starts levitating, and a staircase is revealed underneath it. I can hear footsteps coming from the stairs.
The man speaks again: "Oh, our leader is coming."
The footsteps progressively get louder. Eventually, I see someone coming up. He looks like the man depicted in the same statue that was covering the staircase. He speaks: "Hello, my loyal followers. It seems like we have a few new members today. I shall introduce myself to them. My name is Fitzwilliam Darcy. Welcome to the Church of Jupiter Robots. Although this might seem like a strange name for our group, it actually comes from one of George Wilson's recipes from his cookbook. Our purpose is to continue George's legacy, and enjoy the fantastic recipes from his book."
Darcy approaches us. He gives me a copy of the cookbook, and then he gives one each to Tom and Jordan. I open the cookbook, and I look through it. The recipe for Pizza-Ramen is near the beginning, so I read that one first.
I feel Tom touching my shoulder. He whispers to me: "Nick, there's something suspicious about this cookbook. Some of these recipes are really weird. More specifically, look at the last four recipes."
I look at the names of the last four recipes in the cookbook. They are "Jupiter Robot Pie", "Ninja Compass Soup", "Proto-Titanic Zero French Fries", and "Onion and Sour Cream Potato Chips."
Oh my God, these are references to this author's first story, Pride and Prejudice II. I should've known this when Darcy showed up as a character. Whatever, that's not important right now. I look through the instructions for these four recipes. Tom was right; these are very weird. Some of the ingredients they call for don't even exist. In fact, these don't even appear to be food items.
Darcy looks towards Tom and me, and he speaks: "Oh, I see you're looking at the last four recipes in the book. Those appear to be some of George's more abstract recipes. None of us have been able to decipher them. We even tried to summon Nega-George, but he won't tell us about them for some reason."
Suddenly, Darcy pulls a gun out of his pocket, and he points it towards Tom. "Tom Buchanan, you will hand over your Magic 8 Ball to me."
Bonus Content ~ Pizza-Ramen Recipe (One Serving):
1. The Noodles
Ingredients needed:
½ Cup / 120 mL Wheat Flour
1 Teaspoon / 5 mL Baking Soda
2 Tablespoons / 30 mL Water
Making the Noodles:
Mix the flour, baking soda, and water in a bowl.
Wait about 15-20 minutes for the dough to settle.
After the dough settles, knead it, and flatten it with a roller or your hands.
Cut the dough into noodle shapes, either with a knife or a pasta roller.
Boil the noodles in boiling water for one minute.
Drain the noodles, and pour cold water on them.
Set the noodles to the side.
2. The Totino's Pizza Rolls™
Ingredients needed:
4-6 Totino's Pizza Rolls™ (any flavor)
Making the Totino's Pizza Rolls™:
Follow the instructions on the packet. You can either microwave them, bake them, fire-roast them, air-fry them, or whatever. Just cook these things.
3. The Broth
Ingredients needed:
2 + 1/3 Cups / 500 mL Water
2 Tablespoons / 30 mL Miso Paste (I use Shiro, but other kinds of miso will work.)
1 Teaspoon / 5 mL Garlic Powder (I'm sorry if you're a vampire.)
½ Teaspoon / 2.5 mL Tabasco Sauce (Other hot sauces will work, it's just that Tabasco is h*ckin' awesome.)
½ Teaspoon / 2.5 mL Soy Sauce
1 Tablespoon / 15 mL Sake
Making the Broth:
Boil the 2 + 1/3 Cups / 500 mL water.
Once the water starts boiling, add the miso paste, garlic powder, Tabasco sauce, soy sauce, and sake into it.
Stir it for one minute.
4. Synthesizing Everything Together
Ingredients needed (optional):
The noodles from Step 1
The pizza rolls from Step 2
The broth from Step 3
Any of your favorite ramen toppings, or pizza toppings. These can include shiitake mushrooms, nori sheets, pork slices, bamboo shoots, fish cakes, eggs, pickled ginger, mozzarella cheese, barbecue sauce, pineapple, pepperoni, sausage, lemon peels, olives, corn, onions, chicken nuggets, oregano, or anything else you want to use.
Finalizing:
With the broth still boiling, add the noodles from step 1, and the pizza rolls from step 2 into it.
Also add whatever toppings you want. Some of the more popular ones are listed above.
Stir everything together for 4-5 minutes.
5. Enjoy The Greatest Meal Ever Created
You can now eat your Pizza-Ramen. Or better yet, you can share it with your friends (or enemies).
There are a few different ways to eat the Pizza-Ramen: You can use a fork, chopsticks, spoons, or even your hands.