There was no good reason why Bean should feel this nervous, but she was.
Her heart was thudding in her ears, her stomach was twisting into knots, and she could just feel her armpits getting sweaty. Ugh… though even worse than that, Bean could also feel some underboob sweat forming and that was just… just great. Stupid dresses. Still, this was her dad, after all. There really was no reason for her to be this rattled, except that she didn't really sleep the best the night before.
Okay, to be fair, she slept great in that she didn't have any nightmares. While that was true, she had tossed and turned a lot and woke up multiple times. As it turned out, the sleeping arrangements that Bean had felt nervous about weren't that big of a deal.
When she and Pendergast had returned to the camp, their return was more or less ignored as most of the men were too engaged with their poker tournament. The few men who were actually doing their jobs were watching and patrolling the perimeter and only glanced at the pair when they stepped into the firelight. It was then that Bean decided that she was going to sleep and that the game should be wrapped up soon, much to the groans of her knights. Once again Bean had to face the realization that somehow she had become the responsible one.
How the hell did that happen? Oh, right… at her coronation when she literally became the Queen of Dreamland. Being responsible sucked balls…
Just about when Bean was wondering how she should approach the whole "Pendergast is going to sleep next to me, but not in a suggestive kind of way, more of a keeping-the-Devil away kind of way talk," one of the men straight up inquired Pendergast if he was going to accompany the queen in the carriage to assist with her night terrors. Apparently word really had spread around the castle about Pendergast's "special duties." While Bean was thankful that an awkward situation was avoided… let's be real, it was still awkward as hell.
Fortunately, Bean had Luci watching her back. The black cat-thing conspicuously distracted the men long enough by directing their focuses back on the poker game so that none were really paying attention when Bean headed towards her carriage followed by Pendergast. From there, it was simple. Bean fell asleep onto one of the bench seats of the carriage and Pendergast settled on the floor in a sitting position with his back to Bean. That way, all she had to do was move her leg slightly forward to touch the back of his head. This had been her idea, of course, and much to Pendergast's silent joy was that it became his turn to use her leg as a pillow.
Of sorts, anyways, but he did see the similarity to their outing at the abandoned tower.
They bade each other good night and not long afterwards, the rest of the men also filed away to find their bedrolls or crawl into their travel tents. Luci returned to the carriage and reclaimed the opposite bench seat, making only a few teasing comments about the humans, before curling up and falling asleep.
That should have been it and for a while Bean had slept soundly, but she jostled and turned and woke herself up. The first time this happened, she encountered the worried expression of Pendergast, who explained that he thought she was having a nightmare. Nope, just nerves and her head wouldn't shut up. After reassuring the knight that she was all right, Bean tried to go back to sleep and met little success that night.
By the time the sun met the horizon, Bean was tired, she was grumpy, and she was nervous, which brings us back to where we started. The Dreamland entourage had been travelling for a couple of hours now and Bean's mood or disposition hadn't improved at all.
Fortunately their destination wasn't located in Twinkletown proper, but rather on the outskirts on the edge of Twinkle Twilight Forest. Perfect, in that Bean knew that there should be few encounters with other travellers on the road. In a perfect scenario she should be able to visit her father and leave without alerting the entire duchy that she was there. However, to be frank, the new Duke of Twinkletown probably already knew that she was in the area because people talk. Bean wasn't an idiot, she knew that word spread quicker than a venereal disease in Elf Alley. People paid good money for juicy information and a secret, personal visit from the reigning new monarch sure qualified as such.
"Hey. You lookin' a little green around the gills there, Beanie. You alright?"
Bean turned from her worried gaze out of the carriage window over to Luci.
"I'm fine. I just… didn't sleep too well."
Luci scoffed.
"Tell me about it. You tossed so much, I'm sure the guys outside thought that the carriage was rockin' for a whole other reason."
While Luci chuckled at his little jest, Bean only blinked at him and turned back to the window. The small ex-demon quickly jumped down and made his way over to sit on the bench seat beside her, before he reached over to pat her hand.
"It'll be okay, Beanie. It's just your dad. Your…stinky, grouchy dad. We'll stop by, have a cup of… well they probably don't serve beer in the looney bin… whatever! In and out, then we'll be back on the road and back to the castle and my bar to get plastered. Eh? How does that sound, huh?"
Luci nudged Bean and she looked down at him and smiled a small smile.
"Thanks, man," Bean replied sincerely. "You're right. I'm probably just overthinking things."
"Y'think? Now… where the hell are we-?"
"Your Majesty! We're approaching Twinkletown Insane Asylum now."
Bean half-jumped when Pendergast's voice suddenly called out from outside and the queen quickly peeked her head out of the window to look ahead and saw… Wow. When did it become so dark and foreboding? Through the scattered trees Bean could see the dark mass of a giant monster with many sickly yellow eyes. She frowned as the carriage slowed to a stop and horses whinnied, while the voices of men shouted and spoke. Craning her head, Bean blinked when she saw the looming iron gates before the great beast of the large stone manor, the great, black monster she saw through the trees.
Twinketown Insane Asylum.
Luci joined her at the window and whistled slowly.
"I love what they've done with the place. Very soothing for the broken mind."
It took little coercion at the gate to let them in once the staff of the Asylum heard that it was none other than the Queen of Dreamland calling. Rather than waiting for the carriage to begin moving again, Bean quickly got up and opened the carriage door and hopped down with Luci following suit by clinging to her skirts.
"My queen!"
Bean waved off Bolt, Luci now upon her shoulder, and walked forward, passing her other knights, who quickly dismounted and followed her towards the asylum's door. Pendergast also dismounted and quickly handed his stallion's reins to another man to rush forward to join his willful queen. There was that look of determination and nerve in her expression that Bean was known for, what had fuelled her rebelliousness for years.
God he loved her.
Just as Bean approached the door it opened and out stepped a stringbean of a man in a white coat followed by two attendants. He was bald, had a large, hooked nose like a beak, and he held his head so high it looked like it was trying to escape his neck.
"Your Majesty! Queen Tabeanie!" he declared, bowing low along with his lackeys. "What an honour it is to receive you, and what a surprise! It is an honour, truly!"
"Ah, yeah, thanks," Bean replied, clearing her throat.
"My name is Dr. Mulberry and I am the director here. For what honour and reason do you visit our humble facility this fine day?"
Bean had to fight the urge to roll her eyes. Like… duh?!
"I'm, ah, here to see my dad."
"Oh, of course!" Dr Mulberry exclaimed, interlocking his fingers before him. "I'm sure your father would appreciate to hear that you have stopped by, but we have rather strict visitation hours, and I'm afraid-"
"No, no, I think you misheard me… I'm here to see my father. Seeing as we've travelled all the way here to your wonderful facility, I'm sure an exception can be made. I appreciate you accommodating this request."
Bean slowly narrowed her eyes but maintained a queenly smile and the pompous, high-and-mighty nature of the doctor seemed to shrink before the queen, who was many decades his younger.
"Y-yes, of course, Your Majesty. Please! Follow me inside," Dr. Mulberry said, half-bowing once more and gesturing for her to enter the asylum. "Your, umm, men can wait out here. We wouldn't want to alarm the patients now with a bunch of ruthless knights walking the halls, now would we?"
Bean held up her hand for the doctor to wait before stepping away and gestured for her men to gather around and she addressed her knights. Meanwhile, Luci maintained a narrowed eye upon the thin doctor with his tiny arms crossed. Dr. Mulberry didn't seem to notice this, for he was busy whispering something to one of his attendants who then quickly disappeared into the asylum.
"You guys take it easy. I'll be fine, just… stay here. That's an order. I don't want anyone to go into town. I shouldn't be long."
While the rest of the knights began to wander off to set up a temporary camp, Pendergast approached Bean as she was about to step into and briefly caught her arm to stop her.
"Bea- I mean, Your Majesty, a brief word, if I may?"
Bean glanced between Pendergast and Dr. Mulberry, before flashing a smile at the waiting doctor and excusing herself once more. The pair walked a few feet away and Pendergast positioned himself between his queen and the critical gaze of the doctor before he finally spoke.
"Are you sure that you'll be alright… by yourself?"
Bean couldn't stop the smile from forming on her face. How sweet, unnecessary but sweet. Luci thought so too, for even during his dutiful vigil of the doctor he still managed a scoff.
"Pendergast, I'll be fine. I'm sure that the worst that can happen is that, I don't know, some patient pukes on me or something. Probably my dad."
"Like that hasn't happened before," Luci quipped, still glaring at the doctor. "Hey, you think that guy looks like…?" he muttered before tailing off, but was being mostly ignored by the humans.
Pendergast half-smiled at Bean.
"I'd ask for you to tell your father "Hello" from me, but… I fear that's probably not the best of ideas."
Bean's famous teeth lightly bit her lower lip as she lowered her eyes.
"Yeah," she agreed in a lower tone. "I think… it'd be best that, for now at least, that you remain, you know…"
"Dead?"
"Yeah, at least for my dad's sake."
Pendergast just tightened his lips together and gave her a firm nod in response, to which Bean gave a sympathetic smile.
It was only at that moment that she realized that this trip wasn't just hard for her. A small wave of guilt washed over her as she and Pendergast went their separate ways and she followed Dr. Mulberry into the asylum. She'd been so caught up with her own nerves and feelings that she hadn't even stopped to consider once until now how Pendergast must be feeling about being here.
Poor Pendergast… but, unfortunately Bean's thoughts couldn't dwell on the knight for long as they were soon ransacked by the Twinkletown Insane Asylum.
If the director of the institution was feeling any level of impatience, annoyance, or frustration with how long the Queen of Dreamland was taking, he wasn't showing it. Rather, the creepy bastard just kept his hands tucked behind his ruler-straight back while his strained, superior smile never left his face.
"You see, Your Majesty, my trained staff remain diligent and dedicated in the care of our patients, for our focus here at Twinkletown Insane Asylum is rehabilitation, not incarceration. Through various methods, programs, and techniques, our patients' health is of utmost importance, so that they may return to society and be able to perform such menial jobs as ditch diggers, corpse collectors, or even teachers. You know, professions that require no real skill or social requirements…"
As the man prattled on, Bean stopped listening because she was too preoccupied with the rather terrifying atmosphere of the facility. The entire place reminded Bean of a horrid mix of the castle dungeons and, oddly enough, Hell. There were staff in white clothes and each of them had the same cold demeanor as Mulberry, while the patients wandered around in a haze, all wearing threadbare hospital gowns. Most were silent, others were muttering, and screams could be heard from deep within the facility.
"Man… suddenly I feel right at home," Luci commented in Bean's ear,
The former-demon, however, didn't sound like his usually pleased self. No, in fact, he almost sounded just as creeped out as Bean felt.
"I was thinking the exact same thing," Bean whispered back as she followed Mulberry up some stairs, with the man still talking.
Clearly the guy really loved to hear the sound of his voice.
"... the fire destroyed half the building and we lost twenty patients: a small price for science! We continue undaunted I assure you, your Majesty. Now, this wing-"
"Ah, that's great and all, Dr. Mulberry," Bean interrupted the man, causing him to turn and look at her with masked disapproval, "but I didn't come here for a tour. I just came to see my father, so if you could show me where his room is, I'd greatly appreciate it."
While she knew that she should be cordial, being the queen and all, but at the same time… she was the queen. Her dad always just got what he wanted by yelling and stuff, not that she was at that point yet, but she wasn't in the mood for the ass-kissing runaround. Her words looked like they sucked the blood from the doctor's face and somehow the man's thin face looked paler, but he still maintained his forced smile.
"Of course, Your Majesty! How rude of me for taking your time… Please, follow me to King Zøg's room."
"Pfft, like that wasn't a shot," Luci muttered, just loud enough for the director to hear.
Bean glanced at Luci, before she laughed awkwardly and waved him off.
"Oh! Don't mind my talking cat. He, ah, has a curse on him that causes him to be rude, and talk! But, he's incredibly loyal, so, you know, I, ah, keep him around."
"Fascinating… This way, Your Majesty."
Peering curiously at Luci for a moment longer, who continued to glare back, Dr. Mulberry cleared his throat and turned to lead Bean up another flight of stairs to another ward. This one was as grey, cold, and miserable as the others, but with less stains… which was probably a good thing. Door after door they passed and Bean occasionally saw the wide-eyes of a patient within. She heard mutterings from behind the doors, nothing she could understand.
"This place is so…?"
"Creepy?" Luci offered, which earned a glance back from Dr. Mulberry.
"Impressive!" Bean exclaimed, chuckling nervously. "I was going to say impressive. Such a rich… history!"
"Oh, it sure does, your Majesty!" Dr. Mulberry asserted, chuckling proudly to himself.
However, before he could dive into another historial tirade, they approached a door near the end of the long hall and the director stopped before it.
"Here we are! Room 309!" he declared, before knocking on the door.
The door opened and Bean heart skipped a beat, but confusion quickly crossed her expression when it was a staff member who appeared in the doorway. It took her a moment to recognize him as being one of the attendants that had been with the director at the front door. Ah, so this is where he ran off to. The attendant whispered a few words to his boss before bowing to Bean and standing aside, leaving the doctor looking pleased as he gestured for Bean to enter the room.
"I'm told that your father is doing well today! Excellent! Pard here shall wait outside the room until you are finished, but we must close the door. Standard procedure, you understand. When you're finished with your conversation, either call out for Pard or knock on the door, but not too loudly. You see, loud sounds can disturb your father."
"I understand," Bean assured. "Thanks."
Just as Bean was about to step forward, Dr. Mulberry held up a hand to stop her.
"Oh, and I must remind you,Your Majesty, that your conversation must remain short. We're on very strict schedules here and your father's treatments cannot be pushed back."
"Got it," Bean replied, her polite demeanor wavering, and avoiding any other interruptions she ducked into the room.
The door closed behind her.
While Bean's intention was to immediately address her father, her focus was quickly stolen by the overwhelming sight of the room itself. Slightly awestruck, Bean gazed around the room's interior and slightly grimaced at what she saw. The walls were covered in padding that had been stained with age and past bodily fluids. Okay, fine. However, more concerning than that was the fact that almost every inch of the walls' surfaces were covered with papers. Some had scribbled words all over them, some having the same word repeated over and over, but the majority of the pages were coloured pictures with surprising quality. Bean could make out Dreamland Castle, Oona, Ursula, even Derek in a few pictures, but then she saw that her father had drawn her, as in Bean, many times in varying ages. The queen wasn't sure if she should be touched or creeped out because it caught her off guard so much. Stepping closer to one of the pictures, Bean assessed a toddler-aged Bean and she looked so happy and carefree… yet, directly beside it was the haunting image of Pendergast's head upon what looked like a stake. Frowning, Bean stepped back and a noise from the other side of the room caught her attention.
The room's only window was high from the floor and covered in dust, casting the wall beneath it in neglected shadow. There in the dark was a simple bed and upon it sat a hunched over figure who looked to be adding to the walls' collection as he doodled away. Stepping forward, Bean began to see the telltale ginger hair that she knew and… had mixed feelings about (I mean… sure there was love there, but there was also years of neglect and tension too).
"Dad?"
King Zøg paused with his scribbles, but did not look up.
"Hey, Dad, it's, ah… it's me, Bean! I, ah, you know, came to visit and see how you were doing."
With a stiff neck, Zøg looked up and finally met his daughter's unsure expression, which slowly turned into an insecure smile. He did not return her smile. In fact, his half-closed eyes didn't react like they saw her at all, but were merely peering into empty space.
"I'm just…" Bean began, stepping forward before hesitating. "I'm just gunna come and sit next to you, okay? Is-is that alright with you?"
Zøg still gave no answer and simply continued to stare out into his room with a distant and absent look.
Slowly Bean came beside the bed, before slowly tucking her skirt behind her to gently sit down next to her dad. He was wearing a patient's gown and his beard was a bit longer than the last time she had seen him, which, again, hadn't been that long ago. Still, grey streaks now coloured Zøg's thinning ginger hair and he had more lines in his face. Somehow her father had gotten older, or maybe he'd always been this old and tired but Bean had never noticed before.
"Hey, Dad!" Bean offered with forced cheer. "Don't worry, you don't have to say anything. You can just listen and I'll just talk. How about that?"
Zøg blinked before slowly looking downwards, his neck making an audible crack, and once again he began to draw absentmindedly.
Bean leaned closer to try and see what he was drawing, but his arm was in the way.
"I, umm, never knew you could draw this well," Bean commented as she sat back to gaze around the room. "Like, you actually have some talent that, you know, doesn't involve drinking, or yelling, or ordering people around, or, you know, fighting, I guess."
Bean put on a grin and looked aside at her dad, but he only kept his dreary eyes on his drawing; his daughter fought the sadness from seeping into her face.
"Well, I don't know if you've heard or been told, but I am officially the Queen of Dreamland now! Yeah! Who saw that coming, huh? I certainly didn't, and… you know, I've been doing my best to, ah, I guess… do my best at it."
Tucking a hair behind her ear, Bean sighed and interlaced her fingers on her lap and stared at the ground as she tried to think of what she wanted to say. Here she was with her dad, just like she had wanted, and all of a sudden she had no idea what to say.
So, nothing had changed between them, basically.
She wanted to tell him about how her mom had kidnapped her down to Hell, how she almost became the Devil's wife, how Luci and Pendergast had given up their souls for her, and everything else that had happened since then. She wanted to talk about her nightmares, her insecurities as queen, and her worries. She wanted to bring up the fact that her twentieth birthday was coming up soon and that she wanted him to be there, even though she knew that he most likely couldn't (or rather shouldn't). Far too much stimuli for his broken mind. She had rehearsed the words in the carriage, like how she would frame the complex scenarios that hopefully wouldn't upset her father and his fragile mind.
None of that practice was worth it and all was lost.
In silence, Bean shifted closer to her dad and slowly leaned over until her head rested upon his shoulder. She heard and felt him pause in his drawings, before continuing again. Half-closing her eyes, Bean slowly breathed in and her nose caught the scent of her father: a mixture of bacon, sweat, and anger. The smell caused her smile to soften and the tightness in her back began to unwind. Bean had no idea how much she missed her dad's pungent scent. Closing her eyes, Bean smiled a small but genuine smile as silent tears began to roll down her cheeks.
At the end of the day, Bean was just a nineteen-year old girl who missed her daddy.
Minutes ticked by and Bean had her quiet weeping and Zøg continued to draw. It was peaceful, it was quiet, it was so unlike them. Maybe Bean fell asleep slightly, or perhaps she finally just stopped worrying and thinking for a moment. Unfortunately, all too soon there came a knock on the door that roused her to blink her eyes open and lift her head from her dad's shoulder.
"Y-Your Majesty! You only have a m-minute or so more," came Pard's timid voice from through the door.
"Okay," Bean called out before sighing.
The white-haired woman frowned as she balled her hands upon her dress' skirts and began to stand. Her father's hand suddenly came and grabbed her arm, causing Bean to pause and gasp slightly. His grip wasn't tight or painful or anything, she just hadn't expected it, nor did she expect for the man to wordlessly pass her his drawing. With tentative fingers did Bean take the paper, her eyes upon her father's downturned face, but he didn't look up. Fighting back a frown, Bean slowly tore her eyes from his withered forehead to see the drawing.
More tears began to fall from her eyes and Bean fell to her knees to suddenly envelop her dad in a tight embrace.
"I love you too, Daddy," she whispered just as she heard the room's door open behind her.
Bean opened her mouth to call out once more, but stopped when her father's hand came and gave her arm a gentle pat. Turning to look at his face, Bean blinked when she saw that her dad had lifted his head. There was a touch more colour and life in his eyes and they even seemed to look up to meet hers.
"Y'doin' good, Beanie."
Zøg's voice was hoarse and gruff, like he hadn't used it in some time. Bean eyes welled up some more and she forgot her own voice, but Pard was there to fill in the gap.
"Your Majesty? I'm sorry, but it's time for King Zøg's sponge bath…"
"R-right! I'll be right out!"
Bean couldn't turn her eyes back to her dad fast enough, but disappointment filled her features when she saw that her dad's head was once more turned down towards his notebook: the spark of life within the broken king had faded once again. The queen wasn't sure how to react to this except to wipe her eyes and stand with balled fists.
"See you later, Dad," she whispered, before leaning down to plant a quick kiss on her dad's bald head before gently smoothing down some of his more wild hairs.
Meanwhile, outside the Insane Asylum, Pendergast was having an off day too.
The entire time that Bean was inside the asylum, the knight stood by his stallion and stared up at the grim building. He was on guard, he was tense, and his thoughts were whirling a mile a minute through his brain. Somewhere in there was King Zøg, to whom Pendergast would love to speak with again one day, but now was not the day. No, instead, he was worried about Bean and how she must be doing in there.
Was she alright? Was she safe? What if she needed help? What if Zøg attacked her in his confused state? What if another patient attacked her? What if Zøg brought him up? How would Bean respond?
'Oh, you know, Dad! Pendergast is alive and has just been sleeping with me! No big deal!'
The knight groaned and let his head fall against his horse's neck at the mere thought. He had a lot of respect for the former-king and the last thing that he wanted was for the man to worry that his daughter (a queen) was slumming it with a knight. Pendergast knew that he wasn't good enough for Bean, especially now that she was queen, but the guy could still dream…. Or rather hope, since he can't dream and all.
Caught up in his endless worries, Pendergast actually missed when the asylum's door opened and Bean stepped out followed by the director. The knight straightened and called to his men to compose themselves for their monarch as Bean spoke a few words to Dr. Mulberry and the man bowed towards her. Leaving his stallion's side, Pendergast stepped forward to meet his queen as she began to walk away from the doctor. As he did, the smile on his face to greet her began to fade with worry once he saw her expression.
Bean's face looked tight, distant, and distraught. Also had she…? Had she been crying? That was understandable but that didn't explain why Bean looked so troubled now.
"Your Majesty-?"
"We're leaving, Pendergast," Bean retorted shortly, before approaching the carriage and opening the door to climb in.
The knight was momentarily caught off guard at Bean's bluntness (not that that was unusual for her) before he composed himself and began barking orders for the men to gather their things and mount up for an immediate departure. In the carriage, Bean sat on the bench seat with a huff and a groan. Outside she heard the knights talking and getting prepared to leave, with a horse neighing every so often, and she was just waiting for the lurch of the carriage forward which meant that they were on their way.
"So? How'd it go?"
Bean's eyes snapped open and she looked down in shock at the sudden voice. Lo and behold there was Luci seated aside from her, looking at her with expected, amused, and perhaps concerned eyes.
"Did you tell your dad that I said- Wh-wh-wh–woah! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! What the Hell, man?"
Without word or warning, Bean had picked up Luci and moved to hold him out of the carriage window.
"Pendergast! Come get your best friend!"
The knight looked up and barely was able to hurry over to the carriage before the squirming and cursing black cat-thing was offhandedly thrown to him. Pendergast caught Luci with a grunt of alarm and both looked at the carriage in surprise as Bean pulled down the window's inner shutter.
"Sonofa- Okay I'm going to let this one slide because I'm sure Bean just had a traumatic interaction, but let me go on record to say that, oh-ho ho ho! Missy you're going to get it when we get home!"
Luci just erupted into a tirade of grumbles and curses and Pendergast blinked at the carriage, concern heavy in his features.
"Let's ride out, men!" Pendergast called as he lifted Luci to his shoulder, his eye remaining upon the carriage for a moment longer before he returned to mount up on his black stallion.
Left alone to her own devices, Bean was sprawled out in the carriage with her eyes to the ceiling. The carriage groaned as it began to move and Bean shifted with its annoying sway. Her eyes felt strained from all of the unexpected crying she'd been doing today and her partial night's sleep only helped with making her feel extra sleepy now. She knew that she should apologize to Luci, but she'd do that later. She just didn't feel like talking to anyone at the moment. Silver lining, being out of the stuffy and smelly building was helping the headache that was forming in her left temple. Exhaling through her nose, she reached into the folds of her dress to find a hidden pocket. Bean demanded that if she were to be wearing dresses more, then for fuck's sake she needed at least one pocket.
Her fingers felt paper and as the carriage gently rocked and creaked, Bean withdrew the drawing her dad had given her. In the brighter light, she really could appreciate that Zøg really did have some drawing abilities. She never would have guessed.
"Pendergast was right," she muttered, gazing at the drawing as she recalled what the knight had said last night by the lake.
Sketched out with faithful accuracy was a much younger and healthier King Zøg who was smiling at the little girl seated upon his knee. His little princess, Beanie. Here she was depicted at the age of four or so, and gazing up at her father with glee. The scene was wholesome, heartwarming, and Bean wasn't even sure if it had actually happened. Still, that's how her dad saw them, saw her… even with a fractured mind.
His little girl.