In the week that follows the visit to Gumi's, things begin to get a little strange between Rin and Len.

Or rather, just Rin herself.

It started with little things since the night of the firework festival, and it's only gotten harder and harder to ignore. That night, a little spark had ignited in Rin's chest- and since then, it hasn't gone out. It's been a pesky little nagging voice in the back of her mind, making her think about things that terrify her.

It's come down to noticing more about the android she created, Len. The way he holds his cup, the way he lies on the couch beside her as he's seen her do many times, the quirk of his lips and the deepest blue of his eyes. His button nose, the softness of his hair, the way his throat dips into his collar.

Things that she'd taken note of before, but seem to stand out even clearer than they used to. She can't help watching him move, or listen harder when he speaks to her. She's entranced by his eyes more often, and it's starting to both annoy and frighten her because she doesn't understand what's happening.

Over the time she's owned Len, she's always felt the littlest hint of attraction because of course she would, she created him. It would be silly if she felt nothing at all, especially under the circumstances. Yet…

That point, and now, are quite different. It's like the night of the festival, he had done something that sent her pitiful young body into a state of confusion and wanting. A sense of desire she's never had before that now seems completely consuming.

It reminds her- painfully- that Len is an android meant for sex, and how easily it would be to pin him down and do whatever she wants to him, and he wouldn't protest. She tries to excuse the way she feels as unreleased tension from the stress in her life, but when she looks at him more, it feels like the words are just lies.

Len is attractive to the nth degree, and somehow it's just unbearable that she's too scared to make a move to further their relationship. She knows the moment she acts on anything she's thought of, Len will do more than reciprocate, but it feels hollow to want something with meaning from an android.

Yet, to her, Len just isn't 'some android' anymore. It's some kind of tug-of-war that she doesn't see either side of herself winning any time soon.

It also seems like Len's started acting just a little bit differently. He seems to be learning from her own mannerisms, as he takes after her more often than not. He's adopted her way of sitting, the way she walks, down to the quirk of her smile. It's eerily similar to the point where she's worried people will start mistaking them as twin siblings.

Alongside that, he's still as 'accidentally' touchy as ever, to brushing fingers with her, to that day when he'd kissed her on the forehead. She hasn't been able to get that feeling erased from her thoughts since that day. It's starting to drive her bonkers, whether it's purposeful or not.

I just can't help it. Every day I get that same desire.

The one where I want to kiss him.

Somehow just the thought in itself is enough to scare her off from acting on it, but she can't quit daydreaming about what it'd be like, or what would happen if she just let go and gave in to whatever he'd do for her.

It's perverted in her head, but it piques her interest too deliciously to pretend doesn't exist.

Len…

Just what is she gonna do when all she can think about is how to act when she's around him? Does she let herself give in to what she wants, or does she keep trying to avoid falling into the embrace of an android?

She made him to sleep with, damn it, why has it become a moral battle?!

It makes her question her own mind, and there's just no clear cut solution to her issues. It leaves her to her own devices regarding what to do, and truthfully, it doesn't exactly seem like anything she's coming up with is feasible. It just seems like it'll end messy, and she'll regret it.

...But…

The same arguments swirl around in Rin's head without stopping, back and forth that makes her want to smash her face into a pillow and scream.

I'm starting to think being alone for so long has driven me crazy. I don't know how else to explain it.

None of this takes into account Len himself. It's not likely he has any real, human feelings in there after all. Everything he feels, whether toward her or in general, is artificially created.

If she were to ask him if he loves her, he would say yes without blinking an eye; and that just sounds so lonely.

To have someone say they love her and have it be because she forced them to say it leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.

He's an android, though. He's never going to feel it for real.

Maybe that's why she struggles so strongly with the way she's starting to grow attached to him. In her mind, it's like softly beginning to fall in love with someone, but for him, he's just doing what his programming says. She could do anything she wants to him and there would be no consequence. He wouldn't fight her, wouldn't protest, and would welcome her.

...That isn't what she wants. She wants to be loved wholly from the bottom of someone's heart, and Len can't give that to her, can he?

Agh, I'm so tired of thinking about this.

It's mid afternoon leading into the evening, and it's a quiet day in Rin's home. She's in the kitchen with a steaming mug of tea, and Len is cross-legged on the couch, watching some anime she'd told him about. She's been carefully observing him the entire day, though he hasn't noticed.

Bracing herself and trying to shoo away the trains of thought she's been having, Rin moves into the living room and tentatively places herself at his side. He casts a glance to her, offering her a smile, and Rin returns it, strained.

"Would you like to watch this 'Fullmetal Alchemist' show with me?" Len asks her, and she nods.

"Yeah, if that's okay."

"Of course."

They fall into a comfortable silence, and Rin draws her legs up under her, pinning her palms between her thighs and keeping a few inches away from Len. She furtively looks his way now and then, and he seems completely absorbed in the anime.

A tiny voice whispers to get closer, and she bites into her cheek hesitantly.

Making sure he's not paying any attention, she lets herself shift to the side, resting her head on his shoulder. She feels the way his arm tenses up, and then suddenly she toppling over onto her face.

"I'm sorry, Rin," he says, looking down at her as she squints at him. "If you had wanted more of the couch, I could have moved."

...What?

She can see a guarded look on his face, like he's done something wrong- and when she realizes why, her heart grows heavy in her chest.

Every time she's let him get close to her, she's pushed him away or reacted poorly. No wonder he looks cautious about it; she's scared him into inaction. He's just doing exactly what she's told him to do.

It makes her chest tight as a vise, and a wave of frustration washes over her, dousing her in cold anxiety.

She lifts herself back up with an outstretched arm, huffing under her breath slightly.

"Oh, it's… fine, Len, but I was actually… doing it on purpose."

He gives her a strange sideways look.

"...Oh," he replies. "I see."

It suddenly feels awkward as hell, and Rin's face turns six shades of red without her permission. Words get choked up in her throat like she's swallowing rocks.

I don't understand why this is so hard, she mentally cries out.

"Just… Just go back to watching the show," Rin finally manages in a shushed whisper, huddling up into a ball on the couch and facing away from him.

God, I'm being stupid.

She waits for him to stop looking her way, but she can still feel the intensity of his gaze on her.

"...Is there something on your mind?"

She seethes under her breath.

"No. No, there isn't, so just… never mind."

Silence, and she risks looking back. She's met with dark blue eyes and an expression filled with suspicion and concern. Her stomach flipflops.

"It's nothing, Len, don't look at me like that," she grumbles, but he doesn't move.

"If you wanted to sit together, that would be fine, Rin."

His words pierce her like spears, and she winces.

"Don't say that like you have to."

He tilts his head in confusion, and she mentally berates herself for acting out like a child. She's lashing out at Len when he hasn't done anything wrong, but she can't stop.

"I'm not," he replies coolly.

"You are. Everything you do is because you have to," she retorts sharply, and he narrows his eyes.

"Rin, are you…?"

Rin nearly tosses herself up off the couch in an effort to escape his words, shaking her head. He follows suit, and the two face off against each other in some invisible war.

"You do, don't you?" she says again, meeting his eyes this time. There's something fiery and sharp welling up in her center, and its name is lost to her feelings. It's surging through her veins demanding to be heard, and she can't silence it.

"Kiss me, Len," she commands him. "Do it, right now. Kiss me."

Her heart is wild, pounding like never before. It's like a drum in her ears, and she can't hear anything else but her own blood rushing through her. Her face is on fire, but she doesn't care.

He stares at her, and his lips part as if to say something, but his jaw works a few moments and then closes. His eyes seem to peer through her, and her legs feel like lead.

"...Is that what you want?" he asks slowly.

She could scream with the amount of anger and frustration that bubbles through her then. It's like all of a sudden, everything crashes down around her and unleashes a beast that had been waiting its turn.

Moving forward in a blur, Rin's hand takes tight grip into the material of Len's burgundy sweater. Yanking forward, her other hand reaches up and entangles itself in his blond ponytail, loosening the band.

Standing on her tiptoes and pressing her chest into his, she presses her lips tight against his. Her teeth clack slightly on his, but then her mouth meshes against his own, his skin soft, warm, and inviting. Her whole body feels numb except for her face, which burns red hot.

Tingles race down her neck and through her chest, and her eyes are bound closed. She doesn't want to see his face, or think; she just wants this right now, this moment, imprinted in her memory.

The kiss is hot and forceful, and Len seems startled, not responding at first; but then his arms wrap around her torso and crush her closer, and they're suddenly skin to skin with nothing left between them but body heat and desire. Rin is breathless by the way he reacts to her, and how sweet the taste of him is.

God, what am I doing?

A lance of regret and disgust at herself switches over, thrusting her passionate thoughts into cold water, and she shoves Len away from her. He lets go without protest, and she's left wide-eyed, drinking in his now-disheveled appearance. She can feel a soft sting against her lips from their collision, and her skin is aching for more- but within, she's crying out with horror.

"Oh God… I'm sorry," she whispers, her fingers finding their way to her cheeks. "I just… I made you…"

"Rin..." He reaches for her, but she cringes away, backing up a step and nearly tripping over the end of the couch.

She can't stand the look on his face. She can't, she can't, she can't.

Turning tail, Rin pushes past her coffee table and flings herself into her bedroom, shutting the door with a slam that reverberates throughout the entire house. Her breathing heavy and strained, she leans on the wood in the door and grips at her hair, struggling to piece together where her mind was when she lost it.

I know he's just an android, but what I did was horrible. I took full advantage of him when I knew he wouldn't say no. I stole that kiss from him like it belonged to me, but why? Why did I do that? I never should've forced myself on him like that.

She crumples against the door, sliding to her carpet. Her mind is racing, and the feeling of kissing him is trapped like a bird in a cage within her mind. She can't erase the way it had made her feel, even if it was for a split second.

There's a soft knock behind her, and she huddles into a smaller ball.

"Rin?" Len's voice comes through the door, gentle. "Rin, are you alright?"

She doesn't answer, praying that her silence will drive him away.

"...It's alright," she hears him say, and she peeks over her sleeve, listening despite herself. "Please don't hide from me."

It almost sounds like he's heartbroken, but that's probably her own mind playing tricks on her for her selfishness.

There's movement against the door, jostling her slightly. She hears the sound of clothes sliding on wood, and she can see his shadow lowering under the crack of the door. He must be sitting on the other side.

"I want you to know that it's okay," he says again, comforting, like a lullaby. "I understand if you don't want to talk about this, but… Rin, I don't want you to force yourself to be something you're not."

Her breath catches sharp in her throat, painful, and she feels herself grow stone solid, terrified of his words.

"I know that adjusting to me has been difficult, and I want to be with you. But I want you to be ready first. We can take this as slowly as you'd like. I am ready for this when you're ready, and not a second sooner."

A small pause.

"I'm not going anywhere, not now, or ever. I'm here for you."

She's hyperventilating.

God, she's been nothing but stupid this entire time- and right now, his words sound so genuine that she's breaking down from the inside trying to search for the truth of it all.

What is she doing? She's playing mind games with a robot that she knows she won't win. She doesn't have the time to be sucked into this situation. She can't justify the way she's been acting.

Len is an android, her android. She made him for love, but in the end, is that what she wants? Is she really just forcing herself to be with him because she's already committed to his existence? If, one day, Len disappears from her life, will she stay alone until the day she dies? Just what is it she's feeling?

Does she love Len, or does she love the idea of Len? Or is it love at all? Is everything running through her head, every sensation, every word of affection that crosses her lips just a lie she's telling herself?

Has she fallen so low because of her life that she would take the love of a robot just to be loved?

Have I been lying to myself? Have I convinced myself that Len is all I have, or is he really?

Do I love Len…?

Who have I become…?

Please, God…

...Give me an answer, or I'll be lost forever.