I turned on the sound sense of my scope so that I could hear what was going on over at Red Base. While Tex scoped out the place, the Reds just kept on talking.

"So Sarge said my strategy had merit, but was poorly executed," Grif commented wryly. "Probably because somebody didn't believe in it."

"Bullshit!" Simmons denied. "He told me he thought you were a retarded monkey, and he gonna suspend your weapons privileges!"

"Hey, since I captured the flag, do you think they'll give me my own color armor now?" asked Donut curiously.

"What do you mean, 'captured'?" asked Simmons disbelievingly. "You thought you were buying it at the store, you idiot."

"Still, you think there's a shot?" Donut continued persistently.

"Maybe they'll give you Grif's armor since he destroyed the warthog," Simmons deflected.

"Hehe, yeah – wait, you don't – you don't think they do that, do you?" asked Grif, turning to Simmons.

Simmons was prevented from answering by Tex accidentally skidding a bit on the loose gravel around the base. The small noise caused Simmons to turn around and look at the surrounding area.

"Simmons, whats going on?" asked Grif with concern. "Whats over there?"

Perhaps he heard it too.

"I thought I saw something for a second," he replied, tension leaking into his voice.

Grif turned to Donut. "Hey Rookie, tuck the flag someplace safe until we can figure out whats going on."

"Good idea," Donut replied, turning to the hole in the roof. "I was getting sick of carrying this thing anyway."

One of Tex's steps crunched on the gravel.

"Did you hear that?" asked Simmons.

"Yeah," Grif nodded.

"Hey, what's going on?"" Donut asked in a whisper.

And then Tex threw the sticky grenade.

The grenade made a barely audible sound as it flew through the air, and landed on Donuts head.

It was at this moment that I realized that Donut might actually die from this, which… probably... wouldn't be a good thing, I felt. I mean, who could survive a grenade to the head?

But there was nothing I could do. If I tried to shoot the grenade off of his head, my Blue teammates would wonder why I had made the attempt, and they would have questions for me. Questions I couldn't answer. I was just going to have to hope that he lived.

Hearing the sound of the grenade, Grif turned around.

"What the fuck?" he squawked with shock, backing away.

"What?" asked Donut curiously.

"What is that thing?" asked Simmons when he turned around.

"What thing?" asked Donut.

"There's something on your head," Grif pointed out.

Donut froze. "What, is it a spider? Get it off!"

"No, its not a spider," Simmons shook his head. He sounded like he wanted to get a closer look at it, but he kept a respectful distance.

"Its like a blue thing," he added helpfully.

Donut was still frozen. "What, like a blue spider? Get it off!"

"Its not a spider, calm down!" Grif barked impatiently. "It's some kind of fuzzy, pulsating thing."

"That doesn't sound much better than a spider," Donut stuttered, his voice strained.

"Does it hurt?" asked Simmons cautiously.

"No," Donut replied slowly.

"Maybe we should try to take it off," Simmons suggested.

"Good idea, go for it," Grif replied.

"Me? By we I meant you, asshole," Simmons replied with an aggravated voice.

"Well, somebody needs to get it off," said Donut desperately. "Look, it might be dangerous!"

Then it exploded.

"Son of a bitch," Simmons and Grif exclaimed in surprise.

"Eep, I'm gonna faint!" Simmons shrieked, and then he fainted.

Tex dashed up the ramp and hit Grif from behind.

"Ack!" Grif squawked as he turned around. "Where'd he go?"

Tex hit him again from from his left side, causing his shield to pop, and I could hear warning sounds from his suit.

"Don't kill me, I'm too good-looking to die!" Grif pleaded as he huddled down with his arms over his head.

Tex knocked him out with one final blow to his neck.

"Man, he is really kicking their asses," Caboose said with awe from beside me.

"Yeah, I just wish I could hear what is going on," Tucker grumbled from besides me.

"I get the feeling that you're not very tech savvy," I commented wryly.

"Wait, you mean I could have been listening in on them the whole time?" Tucker asked excitedly. "Sweet, could you show me how it works?"

Slightly surprised by his enthusiasm, I made to show him how, but a niggling feeling of suspicion stayed my hand.

"If I show you how to do this, you're going to use it to try and pick up chicks, aren't you?" I accused testily.

"Oh come on, man," Tucker protested. "If I knew what a chick likes and doesn't like, picking her up would be easy!"

"Ok, One: That is the creepiest thing I've ever heard, and Two: I respect the fairer sex way too much to do that to them," I replied sternly.

"Oh come on dude," Tucker complained. "Please, show me how it works!"

"Tucker, you're just gonna have to figure it out yourself," I frowned with annoyance, before turning to Caboose. "Did Tex get in the base?"

"Yeah," he said, still watching Red Base through his scope.

"Blue Team, Flag Returned," said a deep voice behind us.

"What the," Tucker exclaimed with startlement, and we turned around to look at what was behind us.

"What on Earth?" I exclaimed in a faux-shocked voice when I spotted Church. "An AI! I didn't know we had an AI."

"What? No, that's just Church," Tucker frowned, looking at me strangely.

"When did you have the time to make an AI out of Church?" I asked. "I thought it was a long and complicated process?"

"White, I'm a ghost, not an AI," Church growled with annoyance.

"Really?" I walked forward and poked him.

"Wha – Stop that!" he exclaimed, moving away from me.

"Are you sure you're not an AI?" I asked curiously. "You really look like one. Unless I'm badly mistaken, you're the hologrammic projection of an AI."

"I'm pretty sure I would know if I was an AI," Church replied irritably. "No, I'm definitely a ghost."

"But, if you were a ghost, wouldn't the universe be crawling with them?" I pointed out. "I mean, literally billions of people and animals have died since the dawn of time, and if they could all come back as ghosts, there would be so many you couldn't walk anywhere for running into one, Whatever you are, I'm pretty sure you're not a ghost. Whats the last thing you remember?"

"Damn it, I don't have time for this," Church growled irritably, turning to Tucker. "I see you've got your flag back, how did you guys manage to get it back from Red Base?"

Tucker seemed startled to be addressed. "Um, that flag? Uh, we always had that-"

"Tucker, who'd you think your trying to fool?" asked Church in irritation, before looking around. "Hey wait a second, where's Tex?"

"I'm not really sure," Tucker replied vaguely. "He said he was going to the store, something about, uh, elbow grease-"

"Oh great! This is so typical!," Church exclaimed with anger. "What was the one thing I told you guys the last time I appeared?"

"No idea, I wasn't there," I commented from besides him.

"I meant Tucker and Caboose," Church replied, annoyed at being interrupted. "Again, what was the one thing I told you?"

"That Sidewinder is cold?" Caboose replied hopefully.

"You were at Sidewinder?" I asked curiously.

"Uh, yeah," Church replied testily.

"Cool! What was that like?" I asked with enthusiasm.

"It was Cold!" he shouted angrily, turning back to Tucker and Caboose. "WHAT WAS THE OTHER, ONE, THING, I TOLD YOU!?"

Tucker and Caboose seemed to shrink into themselves.

"Not to let him get involved?" Tucker said eventually.

"Right," Church nodded. "and what did you do?"

"We… let him get involved," Tucker replied morosely

"And not just a little involved, how involved?"

"Very, Very involved," said Caboose.

"Why is it so important to you that he not be involved, anyway?" I asked, before my tone turned teasing. "Don't tell me you're doing this out of concern for us."

I could swear I saw his helmet turn red.

"Not a chance in hell," he bit out angrily, turning to Caboose. "Caboose, keep an eye on the situation, I want to know if Tex is captured."

"Right," said Caboose, who turned around and lifted up his rifle.

A few moments passed, and Tucker decided to go verify that we had gotten the right flag.

After another half a minute passed, Caboose spoke up: "Yep, he's definitely captured. Or dead. Captured or dead."

A moment later, he gasped: "Or captured and dead!"

"Oh, well, that's just perfect!" Church exclaimed in anger.

"What! What is your problem?" asked Tucker, turning to Church in anger. "Why do you even care if he's captured? I thought you hated that guy anyway for stealing your girlfriend?"

"I never said I hated Tex," Church explained. "I just said that she was the reason why we never got married."

"She?" asked Caboose and I at the same time.

"Wait, you guys thought she was a guy?" Church asked with confusion.

"I mean, she did have a really deep voice," I pointed out. "So unless you were dating a transgender person…"

"No, she was normal," Church shook his head.

"You mean cisgender," I pointed out.

"No, I meant normal," Church gave me a weird look. "Anyways, she uses a voice filter when she's doing a mission, that's why her voice was deep."

"So wait, let me get this straight," Tucker frowned as he considered this new information. "You're telling me... that the guy who showed up here, scared the living shit out of us, shot at Caboose, and beat the hell out of the Reds wasn't a guy at all, that he was a chick, and on top of that, she was your ex-girlfriend?"

"In a nutshell, yes," Church nodded. "That is an excellent summery."

"I should have known," Caboose commented. "She didn't like me. Girls never like me."

"Caboose, I don't think anybody likes you," Tucker rolled his eyes.

"I like me," Caboose replied morosely.

"I don't think I've seen a girl that mean before," Tucker noted thoughtfully. "Are you sure she's a chick and not a guy? Or like, part guy, part shark?"

"If you haven't met a girl as mean as Tex, you must be one lucky dude," I commented sagely. "In my experience, Tex is par for the course."

"Oh, like you would know," Tucker bit out.

"Hey, I'll have you know that as a gay man the ladies find me to be wholesome company," I pointed out.

"I'm pretty sure I would know if Tex was a guy," Church interjected before Tucker and I could devolve into an argument. "and I'm definitely sure I would know if she was part shark."

"Wait... if she's a girl then why is she named Tex?" asked Caboose.

"Uh, because she's from Texas," Church replied.

We all stared at him dubiously.

"Trust me, it makes sense," Church insisted, before turning to Tucker. "And you can't blame her for being so aggressive, it's not entirely her fault to begin with."

"Right, you should blame God," Tucker replied. "First he makes hangovers, and now half women, half sharks that wont even sleep with me. Thanks for nothing, God."

He said that last bit looking up at the heavens.

"I would prefer to blame genetics," I commented sagely. "Its much more verifiable."

"Will you two shut up with that?" Church demanded, before continuing. "She got recruited into some kind of weird experimental program back during basic where they infused her armor with this really aggressive AI. I'm not really sure how it all works, but all I know is it her meaner and tougher than hell."

"AI," said Caboose. "Whats the-"

"It means Artificial Intelligence," I stated, interrupting him.

"Yeah, that's right," Church nodded.

"So, the military put this program in her head, and that program made her a killer," Tucker said thoughtfully. "But underneath it all she's really just a sweet, down home girl?"

"Oh hell no," Church denied dryly. "She's always been a rotten bitch, it's just that now she's a rotten bitch with cybernetic enhancements."

"Wow," Tucker replied in faux awe. "Sounds like you really won the lottery with that one, Church. Good catch there, buddy. She's a keeper!"

"Ok, wait a minute," I said, turning to Tucker. "I thought you said she was a freelancer, right? She's not working for the military anymore?"

"Yeah, that's right," Tucker nodded.

"Ok, then… Why would the military let her keep the AI after she left?" I asked Church curiously. "I mean, an AI is not like something you can buy at a store, they're really expensive. And a military-grade AI like that? It would cost in hundreds of millions, if not a billion bucks!"

"Well, if I remember right, the military actually tried to remove it from her once," Church explained. "But every time they did, it found its way back to her. It seemed to really like being in her head for some reason."

"Ah," I nodded.

"So how are you doing, Caboose?" Church asked curiously. "You following any of this whatsoever?"

"I think so," said Caboose contemplatively. "That guy Tex is really a robot, and you're his boyfriend, so that makes you… a gay robot."

"Yeah, that's right," Church sighed sarcastically. "I'm a gay robot."

"If I was a robot, I'd totally go out with you," I replied playfully.

"Ew, that's gross, dude," said Tucker in disgust.

Church frowned at me for a moment, before turning back to Tucker. "Anyway, I have a great plan for how we're gonna rescue Tex-"

"A plan? Oh man, I hate plans," Tucker whined with annoyance. "That means we're gonna have to do stuff. Can't we just have a strategy or a mission statement?"

"I just need you guys to run a distraction while I spring Tex," Church explained, ignoring Tucker's whining.

"Distraction?" asked Caboose fearfully. "Huh, that sounds a lot like decoy."

"The way I see it, the Reds have absolutely no idea how many freelancers we have out here," Church continued. "So all I need from the three of you is to run around in the middle of the canyon wearing black armor, while I sneak in the back of the Base."

"Sounds good," said Tucker. "But Church, where the hell are we going to get three suits of black armor?"

Church looked at him for a moment, before turning towards the teleporter, and we all turned to look at it ourselves.

"I see," I said. "Well, that's a good plan, but can we hold off on that for about half an hour?"

"Why?" asked Church angrily. "The longer Tex is stuck with the Reds, the greater chance something bad will happen to her."

"I know that, but your body is still out there on the ridge," I pointed out. "I just want to go and get it before it starts to rot, and put it in cold storage so I can take a look at it later."

"What- you haven't buried my body yet?" asked Church in anger.

"Dude, its been like... two hours since you died," Tucker pointed out.

"Yeah, we've been kind of busy, I think you can forgive us for being a bit tardy in getting it," I replied in a placating tone.

Church was quiet for a moment. "Alright, fine. Hurry up and go get it."

"Alright then," I replied, before turning towards Tucker and Caboose. "Tucker, Caboose, you should go get ready. I set the matfab to make some mods for our suits, we might need them in case the Reds decide to press an assault."

"Good idea," Tucker nodded, turning. "Where did you say the machine room was?"

"I didn't," I replied, before turning to leave. I jumped off the side of the base, and ran towards the ridge. The canyon was one kilometer in length, so it wasn't that long a run. When I got to Church's body, I noticed that bits of his blood and guts was leaking out the side. Eww.

I picked the body up bridal style, making sure not to touch the blood, before turning and heading back to base, down to the morgue, and placing his body in cold storage.

Once I closed the storage container, I turned around to see Church staring at me.

"Why did you put it here?" He asked, and I could tell he was angry. "I want you to bury it!"

"I have to examine it first," I replied factually. "Since we don't have an on call doc, a Medic can examine it to produce a death certificate. It's a legal thing."

At least, that was the excuse I had come up with. What I really wanted to do was prove that Church was an AI, but I needed to examine his body to do that.

"Oh," said Church, nonplussed. "I didn't think of that."

"It's ok, a lot of people don't think of these sorts of things," I nodded factually.

"Whatever," he grunted, turning around. "Tucker couldn't find the machine room, could you come help, please?"

He didn't wait for a reply, instead walking out and down the hallway.

It didn't take long for us to find Tucker and Caboose, and I showed them the machine room. The four shield mods I had made were waiting for us, and I showed them how to slot them into their armor.

"What exactly does this thing do?" asked Tucker as he slotted it in.

"It will reinforce your shield, making it harder to drain," I explained. "Your shield should last twice as long as it did before under heavy fire, and should be better at protecting you in hand to hand combat."

"Wait, nobody said anything about hand to hand combat!" Tucker frowned, looking at Church.

"I'm just saying, it's better to be prepared," I replied placatingly.

"Oh."

I picked up a tool that measured shield strength and waved it over Tucker. "Ok, your shield is good."

I moved to Caboose and waved it over him. "Yours is too."

And so was mine when I waved it over me.

"Ok, we are good to go," I said eventually. "You got all your gear?"

Tucker nodded, and after we thoroughly checked our equipment, we all made to walk up through the flag room, outside, up the ramp, and onto the roof, and I immediately walked through the teleporter, not waiting for them to say anything.

When I emerged, Church was already there waiting for me.

"Are you ok, White?" he asked curiously.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied testily, the teleportation was still painful.

"Ouch," said Tucker when he came out, before turning to me. "Why didn't you say it hurt?"

"Entertainment value," I replied plainly with a smile, before walking up the hill and calling out to Caboose: "Come on Caboose!"

"Does it hurt?" he called back.

"No, not at all," called Tucker from my side.

"Ok, here I come," he called back as he entered the teleporter.

The three of us turned to watch the exit portal.

"Owe, geez," Caboose groaned when he came out. He turned and said in a sour voice: "You lied to me."

"You're right, White," Tucker chuckled from besides me. "That was entertaining."

"Well, you guys best get going," Church said a moment later. "I'll go keep an eye out from the top of the ridge."

"Alright then," I nodded. "Come on, guys, lets go."

To make ourselves as visible as possible, the three of us jogged along the ridge of a hill in the middle of the canyon as slowly as we realistically could without coming off as suspicious, before coming to a rest behind a short escarpment of dirt and rock that protected us from the view of Red Base.

They must have seen us, for Church soon called us on the radio.

"Hey, Tucker, come in, man," he said over the radio, and I had mine tuned in too. "You there? This is Church. It's working. The orange one is coming out of the base, I repeat, the orange one is coming out of the base."

"Roger that," said Tucker, but before Church could say more, Caboose interrupted him.

"Oh, oh, Tucker, Tucker, Tucker!" he said excitedly. "Is that - is that Church? Tell him that I said – that I said… from me, to say hi-"

"Ok, just keep on moving outside the base and draw their attention - " Church continued on the radio, unaware that Caboose was interrupting him.

"Wait, wait, wait, say what?" asked Tucker, turning around to face Church on the cliff, a quarter kilometer away from us. "I missed that, Caboose is talking to me."

He turned back to Caboose, and bit out sharply. "Shut up, man! I'm on the radio!"

"What… uh, why are you yelling?" Caboose asked confusedly.

Tucker rolled his eyes. "I'm not yelling, I'm just telling you to let me finish talking to Church!"

"Well… uh- can you tell him I said, from me, uh… hi?" Caboose asked hopefully.

"No, I'll tell him you said hi later," Tucker groaned.

"Well can I talk to him then? Please?" Caboose asked grumpily.

"No, you can't talk to him!" Tucker retorted sharply. "How can you possibly talk to him on my headset?"

While Caboose and Tucker's argument had taken place, I made an executive decision and spoke to Church on my radio. "Alright, I will take care of things from here, wait for my signal before moving in."

"Roger that," Church replied, and his radio cut off.

If he really was a ghost, I wondered how the fuck he was using a radio.

I turned back to the two arguing Blues, and spoke up loudly, interrupting Caboose's retort: "OK! Church radioed me and said he wants us to move around a bit to keep them distracted."

"So, keep moving around behind rocks, then," Tucker turn towards me and nodded.

"Well, yeah," I replied thoughtfully. "I was thinking that one of us could also go hide behind that dead tree over there..."

I pointed to it. It was the dead tree that was north east of Red Base.

"… While the other two could go hide behind that rock over there."

I pointed to a rock just southwest of us.

"You can go hide behind the tree, Tucker," I finish.

"You mean, all by myself, alone?" He scoped out the tree. "I don't know, that tree seems pretty far away. What if the Reds start shooting at me?"

"Tucker, the Reds are more likely to shoot at us if we all go and hide behind the same rock," I pointed out. "But if one of us goes and hides behind the tree, while the other two hide behind the rock, they'll think we're trying to execute a pincer attack, and while wait to see what our next move is."

"I don't know, I think you're just trying to get some alone time with Caboose," Tucker replied in an accusing tone. "I mean, you aren't interested in him that way, are you?"

I goggled at him. "What?! No! Where on earth did you get that idea? Besides, we're in the middle of a military op! Where'd you think I'd find the time to try and seduce Caboose, even if I was interested in him that way?"

"Well, you do hear tales about what men do when they're alone together in the trenches," Tucker pointed out.

"Just go hide behind the tree," I bit out with irritation, before turning to Caboose after Tucker had walked off. "And you, go hide behind the rock."

"If it helps, I didn't want to seduce you either," he commented as he made to run behind the rock.

"Caboose, do you even know what seduce means?" I asked irritably.

"Umm..."

"That's what I thought, go hide behind the Rock," I repeated, before turning on the radio. "Ok, Church, go ahead."

"Roger that," he replied.

I turned my attention back to Caboose, only to realize that he was still visible to the Reds, facing the rock like the idiot that he was.

"Caboose, get behind the Rock," I yelled sharply. "They can still see you!"

"They can't see me, I can't see them!" he replied in a hushed tone.

"That's because you're facing the rock," I deadpanned.

"Oh, right," he said, turning to face Red Base, before backing away behind the rock.

"Real smooth, dipshit," I groaned with annoyance.

A few moments later I moved to join him behind the rock, and kept a close eye on Caboose, just to make sure he didn't do anything else that was stupid. When I got there, we waited for a minute, as Church was supposed to radio us when it was time for us to retreat.

"Hey, White?" Caboose said eventually, turning to look at me.

"What?" I asked irritably, feeling a bit anxious. I wanted this operation to be over as soon as possible.

"I'm having a really good time… with you," he said in a hushed whisper.

It took me a moment to process what he said.

"Shut up!" I hissed fearfully. "If Tucker heard that, he'd never let me live it down."

"Too late, I already heard it," Tucker spoke up over the radio.

"What?" I turned to look at Tucker over by the tree. "How?"

"I think Caboose turned his mic on somehow," he replied gleefully. "and I hear that you're in Gay Fantasy Land over there. Eww, remind me to hose you two off when we get home, good grief."

"Ok, One: even if Caboose was gay, I wouldn't be interested in him. I'm not attracted to idiots," I retorted angrily. "and Two: shut up."

"Wait, there's a fantasy land? Is that like a… a theme park?" asked Caboose suddenly, looking around. "Where is it? I want to go on one of the rides!"

"Yeah, I'll bet you do," Tucker commented in a snide voice.

"Ok, Tucker? Again, shut the hell up," I barked angrily, turning to Caboose. "Caboose, you shut up too, I've just about had enough of this bullshit! I don't want to hear another word!"

"But what about-"

"THERE'S NO FANTASY LAND, SHUT THE HELL UP!"