Edwin P.O.V.
A whole week has passed by since the whole Kion incident and even when Kion is no longer allowed to be on the floor that I work in….there are still times where I still don't feel completely safe walking around the hallways outside my lab by myself.
It's Tuesday and based on what I know. Kion's suspension period is over, and I came into the museum and made sure to go into the security check in line that was NOT the one Kion was in charge of. Over the course of that day, I mainly just focused on my research until I had my lunch break for that day. Our usual group were just chatting about life events, research from our respective departments and other stuff.
"So how has your work in the fossil lab been going?" I asked Jasiri and Makuu.
"Well, it's been okay…we've been currently working on these large specimens from the Cretaceous era for the past week and it has been taking us a while to prepare." Jasiri said.
"Yeah, it is taking forever for us to properly prepare the fossils because these specimens are particularly fragile, so we are taking our time to analyze our specimens. How's your work in the genetics lab?" Makuu said.
"It's good, we recently extracted DNA for some of our lichen samples that we collected several months ago, and we are currently trying to clone specific plasmids for further observation and experimentation." Pete replied.
"Oh, that sounds interesting, I wish you guys luck with your project." Jasiri said.
"Thanks, it is very interesting to look at these sequences in more detail…though there are some cases where I can have some paid overtime as kind of a bonus for additional work I can do in the lab." I said.
The last part of my response caused a few people at our table to raise some eyebrows.
"Don't get me wrong, I love my job and research, it's just that recently the person who was my landlord sold my building to another person. I also overheard from somewhere that this new landlord is planning to raise the rent for me and every other unit in my building, so recently, I've been trying to save as much money as I can. I've recently got one of those coupon apps to help find discounts when doing groceries. Plus, I've been volunteering to work later some days to potentially get paid for overtime work, though sometimes I do think about asking Ma Tembo for a raise, but I do not want to seem rude or impose on her because she's a great superior and researcher in our lab and I didn't want to seem rude." I said.
"Oh yeah, you told me about that a few days ago. And I see that you are using that coupon app I told you about, how it is working out for you so far?" Jasiri asked.
"It's been great actually. Last weekend I saved a considerable amount of money doing groceries." I replied.
"Yeah, that app can be pretty helpful, because there have been some occasions where certain bills of mine go up during certain months, so I need to save as much money as I can. For example, since we are in the winter months, my heat bill has been extremely high recently." Jasiri said.
"Yeah, I think we are all going through increased heating bills recently.." Beshte said.
"And Edwin, it sucks to hear about your new landlord planning to raise your rent. I'm sure Ma Tembo wouldn't be rude if you asked her for overtime or a raise. Though I can't guarantee that she will definitely give you a raise, I don't think that they will be rude to you for asking." Vuruga said.
"Though if she doesn't give you the raise, I don't think it would be either her or Ma Tembo's fault. There have been a couple of times where I asked museum administration including Simba if I could either get a raise, increase my lab's equipment budget or if I could give Jasiri and my other employees a raise, but they declined me most of the time. But in the few times he did accept my requests, the amount raised or added to the budget is typically miniscule and is only just slightly higher than the original salary or budget. But anyway, I wish you luck with your whole situation Edwin." Makuu said.
"Yeah, that's true…..last year Ma Tembo did encounter some obstacles in trying to secure some money to update one of our Thermo-Cycler Machines that we use for PCR reactions but it was not that successful." Vuruga said.
"That sucks, though I still think it's at least worth a try. If it does succeed to some degree, a small raise is better than a decrease in my salary." I said.
We just continued to eat our lunches and chatted during our break until we returned to our respective labs to continue our work for the day.
A few days have passed by, and I have recently made some further progress in my research. It is now Friday, we finished work for the day and there was around two hours before a meeting of the Human-Hybrid Alliance. I was having some coffee with Beshte, in his anthro hippo form, as I do most days before our meetings begin. We were just talking about our days and stuff going on in our lives at the cafe we usually go to, and Jasiri is planning to join us later on, but she had to stay a little late for something in the fossil preparation lab.
"Did you by any chance talk to Ma Tembo about getting a raise or overtime?" Beshte asked me.
"Well, I did and unfortunately, she said she is unable to give me a raise right now. Don't get me wrong, she said that she would give me the raise if she was able to, but she told me that museum administration has been very tight with their money recently. Though she did agree to pay me a very small amount more only on the occasions where I work overtime and nothing else outside what I already get paid" I replied.
"Oh okay, cool. Though I'm still sorry that you didn't get the raise, at least MaTembo was nice enough to help with the overtime situation. I totally understand what you are going through because recently I've tried to ask for a raise several times, but I got rejected every time with the same excuse of the budget being tight recently." Beshte said.
"That sucks Beshte, so how did your day go today?" I asked him.
"It was fine, though for the most part it was pretty boring, though there were two kids who got lost in the museum today, along with diffusing a heated discussion that almost turned into an altercation. But other than that, it was not a busy day for me, though it usually isn't that busy at the museum in the winter months since there aren't as many tourists at this time." Beshte said.
"Okay, that's nice to hear. I've heard that today's meeting is focusing on journals that former Pride Landers and Outlanders kept during some of their years adjusting to the human world. Did you keep a journal during your time adjusting to the human world?" I asked.
"OH YES…I have owned several journals and still use one today. For today's meeting I will be discussing some stuff from a journal that I had when I was in fifth grade because I thought that it was one of the significant years of my earlier time in the human world for me." Beshte said as he took out a small black notebook which I assume is one of the journals that he mentioned.
"Oh yeah, you told me that after the village in Tanzania, you, your guides and a group of former Pride Landers, including Makini, have lived in Chicago for a while. You told me you went to Baker High for high school, where did you go to elementary and middle school?" I asked.
"Well after I moved to Chicago from Tanzania, I went to a place called Dusable Elementary School, or officially just called DuSable Public School. I went there for the last two years of elementary school and all of middle school there, so I was there from grades 4 to 8. Just in case you were wondering, it was a K through 8, so it had both elementary and middle school." Beshte replied.
"Yeah, before Hemingway, I also went to a K through 8 school. I went to Morris Elementary School, or sometimes the 6th through 8th grade division is referred to the middle school section or Morris Middle School. I was there from kindergarten to 8th grade." I said.
"Cool….so sorry if I am getting off-topic but can we talk about something that I have been thinking about for a while?" Beshte asked.
"Sure, ask away," I replied.
"It's really delightful to see how you and Jasiri seem to be in a happy and loving relationship and I wish you two nothing but happiness. Though to be honest, there are sometimes where I became a little envious of you two and other couples because I also want a relationship of my own, with someone I can share intimate, personal and romantic moments with. Although I have been in four or five relationships since I first came to human society, I guess those specific relationships weren't really meant to last. But recently I have realized that I have…romantic feelings for someone I've known for over two decades….as in someone I knew before I became a hybrid. I realized that whenever I thought about them, I have this feeling of ease yet nervousness at the same time, making me feel as if there were actual butterflies in my stomach. I have recently started attempting to bring out the subject of potentially asking them out, but I have always chickened out." Beshte said.
After he said that, I sympathized because before Jasiri, there have been times where I felt a similar way when I see my other friends' relationships.
"I totally understand how you feel, before Jasiri I've felt the same way about some of my friends' relationships. Honestly, I think that the best approach to this is the direct approach and just tell them that you are interested in them and potentially go out on a date with them. That is the approach that always seems to work with me. I'm sure they will say yes, you are a very caring, optimistic and open-minded person, who wouldn't want that as a significant other? My advice would be to just be yourself, don't overthink it" I replied.
"Thanks Edwin, I really appreciate the advice. Though I am a little nervous to ask them because I've known her for a very long time." Beshte said.
"If you know them for a long time, then I would probably do something casual for a first date to try to take off the pressure of it so you two can enjoy each other while further getting to know each other." I said.
"Sounds good, thanks Edwin! I'll ask her after work sometime next week." Beshte replied.
"Also, just out of curiosity, who is the person you are planning to ask out?" I asked.
"Well….we actually both know her…she actually works in the genetics lab with you" Beshte said nervously. This caused me to raise my eyebrows a little bit knowing that it is someone I work with.
"Really? Is it Makini by any chance?" I asked. Beshte's eyes immediately widened.
"Yeah, how did you know?!" Beshte said in a quite yet surprised tone.
"Well, I guessed it to because you two are around the same age and your two personalities seem to match. You both seem to be very optimistic, caring and open-minded individuals, so I think you two would be a pretty good match." I said.
"Yeah, I have always been attracted to her seemingly infinite sense of optimism, and in general I always tend to feel good vibes around her. You can definitely say that for me, she is constantly a remedy for all the negative thoughts I have gathered through all the shit that I have gone through with the coup, the drought, transitioning to the human world, and my experiences in the army. Makini has always been a caring person who I can always talk to about stuff in my life. We had a lot of shared experiences together and I was thinking that perhaps we can also share experiences through a romantic lens if possible. She is a very healing presence" Beshte softly replied.
"Aww…..That sounds so cute. I totally get how you feel, I think you and Makini will be cute together Beshte. I'm sure she would say yes…" A familiar voice sounded…that wasn't mine.
Both Beshte and I were shocked and looked around until we saw Jasiri approaching our table in her anthro hyena form.
"Oh, hi Jas, we didn't see you there." I said as I stood up to give her a light hug.
"How long have you been here?" I asked as we both approached the table as I pulled a seat for her.
"About five minutes, I finished my remaining tasks in my lab early so I thought I ordered a small something, plus I'm curious if they get my name right this- Nope! It says Jessie Lee, that's even worse than 'Jasorry' the last time I came here." Jasiri said as she looked and showed us her cup.
We showed her our cups to show our misspelled and miswritten names on our cups.
"I tried warning you guys that this place never gets our names right." Beshte said and before speaking again, his facial expression started to become visibly more apprehensive.
"Also…..exactly how much of our previous conversation have you heard?" Beshte said.
"Mostly about the part about where you have a crush on Makini…." Jasiri said with a sympathetic smile.
Beshte got visibly worried and placed his palm on his forehead.
"Don't worry Beshte, I won't tell Makini…..I think it's actually pretty cute. I could definitely see you and Makini going out. You two have similar personalities and I think that you two would be very compatible with one another and would be a great couple." Jasiri said.
"Thanks Jasiri, I appreciate it." Beshte said.
We continued to talk for about five more minutes until we decided to walk back towards the museum for the Human-Hybrid Alliance meeting, and we continued our chat while walking, though the cold weather was also kinda distracting sometimes.
"I can't believe that Nala is actually attending one of our meetings after she quit five months ago and came out. And she's bringing her new girlfriend who happens to be Edwin's mother. How did your mom and Nala meet again? Did you introduce them to one another or something?" Beshte asked.
"Actually no, they met each other at a farmers' market. I had nothing to do with it, nor even knew that they even met each other until last month. They started out as friends but eventually started dating. Funny thing, Nala actually moved in with my mom the day she dumped Simba in the museum." I said.
"Interesting, it's kinda weird that you guys found out when they were already dating for four months." Beshte said.
"Yeah….it was kind of awkward that time we discovered their relationship…." Jasiri said as we stared at each other awkwardly with light smiles remembering that particular night.
We continued to walk until we entered the lower floor of the museum and went to the area with the others where we usually wait for the meeting to start. We were talking with some of the other people we know from the museum for about ten or fifteen minutes until I suddenly heard the room becoming increasingly silent, and some people were turning towards a specific direction of the room towards the entrance.
We all turned around to see what they were all staring at…and it was Nala and my mother entering the area where we were all gathered. As they walked around, we saw people either staring at them, and whispering to each other. Most were probably surprised by Nala's arrival, and they were all wondering 'who is that lady with her?'
As they were walking, I saw that Rafiki came up and hugged Nala, and then he shook my mother's hand and started to talk a little bit. After that we see Nala and my mom walking towards us. We soon greeted each other, hugged each other, and introduced my mother to Beshte who happened to be with us.
"So Beshte, where in the museum do you work?" My mother asked.
"I work in security around the museum." Beshte said.
"Oh yeah, I think Edwin told me about that….I think he also told me that you helped him after that incident with Nala's son right?" My mom said.
"Oh yeah, I was the one that had to pull Kion away from Edwin. I don't know what has gotten into him recently but based on what I have seen, his problems with anger and bigotry only are getting worse. It's a real shame that he didn't accept you coming out of Nala. He's a total asshole for doing that, and all the other stuff he did before and after that….or at least the stuff I know about." Beshte said.
"Yeah, I don't even recognize him anymore. It's like this new identity completely obliterated the old one, either that or he was always this way and was just better at hiding it when he was younger. Either way, I was at first shocked when he tried to verbally attack me as an individual after I came out, but I am moving on past that to live the best life I could and if he won't accept it, he doesn't need to be in my life anymore. And again, I am sorry about the altercation between you two Edwin, I should have known that he would do something like that based on his history." Nala said, eventually turning towards me.
"It's okay Nala, it was not your fault, and he can be unpredictable sometimes based on what I heard. Kion was the only one at fault since he initiated the altercation." I said.
"Yeah, based on my experience, he initiates every altercation he has ever been involved in during his time in the human world." Jasiri added.
"So how has your day been Jasiri?" My mother asked her.
"Well, it's been fine, Makuu and I have been making some really good progress on these specimens that we have been observing and working on for almost two weeks." Jasiri said.
As the two of them were conversing with each other, Beshte and I noticed that Kiara, Kovu and Vitani were walking towards us in their anthro lion forms.
"Hey guys, how's it going?" Kiara said.
"We're fine, we're just having a conversation about random stuff in our lives. How about you?" I replied.
"We're fine, I've kinda had a busy day at work, so I decided to treat Kovu and Vitani to some dinner before we came back here. We were also grabbing our old journals-" Kiara said before turning around to Nala and my mother.
"Hi Mom! Hi Julia! I am so glad that you two were able to come today! How have you guys been?" Kiara said as she hugged the two, which was then followed with Kovu and Vitani hugging them.
"We are doing well; this week work has been pretty uneventful for the both of us. Nala wanted to come to this meeting since you guys mentioned it as a space where you can all open up about personal matters without judgment and we both wanted to give it a try." My mom said,
"Yeah, I thought it was about time I gave my whole and truthful story to the rest of the former Pride Landers. I want to show them the real me and I just hope they will be understanding." Nala said.
"I'm sure they will be Nala…..we've been living in the human world for over twenty-one years, and had the opportunities to grow, and become more accepting to more groups of people. Besides most of us, if not all of us here respect you and took your side of the divorce. Most people lost a considerable amount of respect for Simba, including me. Many of us see him now as this arrogant guy trying to relive the human-world version of his glory days. So overall, I think you are going to be alright Nala." Beshte replied.
"Thank you Beshte, I appreciate your support." Nala said.
We continued to talk for a few minutes until Rafiki signaled that it was time to begin our meeting in the lecture room down the hall. We took our seats and Rafiki went to the podium he usually spoke from.
"Hello friends, welcome to another meeting of the Human-Hybrid Alliance. And for today's meeting we are going to start off with people who want to share anything they want to talk about, then we move on to our journal discussion activity, reconvene for a small discussion, another one of our small group exhibit excursion activities, and end it with a small group discussion. To start off our shares, we have a guest that many people here have known but never came to our meetings previously. But today, they have decided to come as a guest to speak their story. Please join us in welcoming Nala Furahi to our group tonight to share her story." Rafiki said before exiting the podium.
Nala then started to approach the podium, there was a mix of applause and several inquiring whispers. As she got to the podium, she started to adjust the microphone before finally speaking.
"Hello friends, it's been a while since I last went to the museum and it's great to see many of you again. You might all have some questions of what has happened to me since my divorce from Simba and my new job. So far things have been going extremely well for me because I am now able to be my truest self that I can be. But even when I am doing great now, I apologize that I have not told the entire story of my life and my perspective of the events that led up to my life now. I would appreciate that you save all questions until the end….okay here it goes….it all started with me as a young cub in the Pride Lands….." Nala said to begin her story.
She continued to tell her story, everything from hiding her true sexual preference, to the pressure and expectations placed on her being Queen of the Pride Lands, being involved in a marriage with someone who she never truely loved, her brief encounters with Shani, navigating her life in the human world and learning more about her sexuality, meeting my mom and how she helped Nala finally come out to the world, the divorce, and then what her life is like now.
When she finished her story, there was a noticeably loud applause in the room, including from myself. I am glad that all these people are so supportive of Nala and what she had to tell them. After that, a few other people shared some stuff tonight about a wide range of topics and issues.
We then moved on to the discussion portion of the meeting where we go into groups and the hybrids in the groups will discuss the journals many have kept since first transitioning to the human world. As usual we were randomly assigned into groups, I read my assignment and other than myself, my group consisted of Nala, my mother, Jasiri, Pete, Beshte, Emma from the gift shop, Kiara, Ramaz from institutional advances, and Ono from security.
The ten of us sat around a table and all the hybrid members all took out small books that I assume are the journals they are presenting to us.
"So starting from when we first transitioned into the human world, many of us decided to keep and write in journals to cope with the stress, anxiety, and all other emotions we feel in our day to day lives. These journals actually initially began as opportunities to practice our writing when we were still learning how to do that, but eventually, they became a method for each of us to open up and process our emotions during our day-to-day lives. They have since become a very significant part of both how we express these feelings, along with helping us keep a record of our experiences so that our perspective could potentially be seen even after our time on Earth comes to an end." Nala said.
"Wow, they must be really important for you guys." Pete said.
"Yeah they sure are, you wouldn't believe how many times these journals helped me process and cope with some of the experiences we had over the years." Jasiri said.
"Do any of you still write in journals at all?" Ramaz asked.
"All the time." Beshte said.
"Yeah, from time to time, though I do it less frequently compared to when I was younger." Kiara said.
"I still use journals." Nala replied.
"Me too but like Kiara, it is more on an occasional basis." Ono said.
"I definitely still journal my experiences a lot." Jasiri said.
"It's true, whenever I am ever at her place, she tells me to never look in her journal without consensus if I come across one of them. In fact, I don't even know where she keeps most of them, though she is a little more willing to loosen the restriction when it comes to some of her older journals. Initially I thought it was just Jasiri who kept journals, but I did not realize that every former Outlander/Pride Lander had a journal too." I said.
"It's similar to Nala and I, but I know that she keeps all her journals in a locked box in a location in our house that I am not allowed to disclose. But whenever she decides to disclose the contents of one of her older journals with me, it usually starts in-depth discussions about her past and the similarities and differences between our individual life experiences." My mother said.
"Yeah, sometimes Edwin and I have those conversations to discuss our different life experiences and approach them through different facets. Though most of these discussions typically don't involve the journals directly." Jasiri said.
"Cool, that sounds really interesting. So is there anyone in particular who wants to start our discussion?" Emma asked.
"I can start…." Beshte said as he lifted and then opened his small journal to turn to a specific page.
"So, this is a journal that I used when I was in fifth grade, about 2001 to 2002. I thought this was a significant time period during my early years in the human world. By this point, I already spent over a year in the US and was still kind of adjusting to my new school. Let me start by reading this section….." Beshte said:
September 7, 2001
I just came back from my first week of fifth grade, and it was fine. Had most of the same classmates as last year. Makini and I are in the same class again so that's good. Though it were still upsetting that many kids in my class still refer to us as freaks after knowing us for a year. I have some homework to do over the weekend, but it shouldn't be too bad.
"As you see, there are some light sections that do not seem too bad, and sometimes there are some deeper and sometimes darker stuff to, like this:" Beshte said:
September 11, 2001
Today has been a strange day. I thought it was just going to be a normal Tuesday, but all of a sudden, we heard the news about two planes not only crashing….but destroying these two buildings in New York, along with others crashing into the Pentagon Building and a random field somewhere. There was a feel of tension and fear in the school because even when we are in Chicago, not New York, we also have tall buildings, and we were afraid something could happen to one of our buildings. Because of this, many areas downtown were evacuated. Even some schools downtown were evacuated, either that or had a ton of early dismissals. Despite our school being outside the Gold Coast or downtown, some of my classmates got early dismissals because some of their parents worked downtown. Most of the plans Mr. Williams had for our class today suddenly had to be altered or canceled. For a while the entire school, both elementary and middle school floors, gathered in an assembly in the auditorium to discuss the events that just happened in New York, DC and Pennsylvania. When Makini and I got home, we saw our guide and others we know gathered sound the TV to watch the all-day news coverage of the attacks. The two of us were shocked, saddened and just plain upset when we saw the TV videos of the plane crashing in the Trade Center Tower in New York, and the eventual collapse of the buildings. It was so scary and painful for Makini and I to see that, because we know that many people died in this, it brings back terrible memories of the Tree of Life coup and drought. Why am I cursed to see so much death in my life? Did I do something wrong to deserve it? Why do so many innocent deaths occur?
Beshte began to turn a page to a different entry.
September 15, 2001
I'm so glad it's the weekend. This week at school has been weird since those attacks in New York on Tuesday. Wednesday felt like a counseling session to discuss how we were feeling, but when Thursday came around, things started to get back to normal…but I noticed one thing that seemed a little off. I noticed that some kids from class were starting to treat Rafiq Antar a little differently. I didn't really get why because he's the nicest guy in class and he always contributes to class ever since I have known him. Plus, he has never caused any problems so why some of my classmates are treating him like this. The popular guys in my grade start to whisper whenever Rafiq is near and even some of the parents of those same kinds start to give, he and his mother weird looks during pick-ups in the end of the day. Yesterday during lunch, Makini and I noticed that Rafiq is sitting alone, so we decided to sit with him to see if he is okay. He told us that since what happened on Tuesday, some people were calling him names because he's Muslim, and that his parents have been judged by their colleagues and random people on the street. I'm so mad at how humans seem to be so quick to judge others simply because of either what they look like, what religion they practice, where they come from and….almost anything one can find of someone. Why is the human world so shallow and hateful sometimes?
"So yeah, after the 9/11 attacks, I started to see a wave of Islamophobic sentiment across the US, and I have even heard of attacks on innocent people because of this hate. Some of the victims of these hate-driven incidents weren't even Muslim, they were attacked just because they 'fit the profile' to these incredibly ignorant people. Don't get me wrong, it's completely tragic that all those people lost their lives on that day, and I am thankful for the first responders and other people who helped and saved many lives that day. But shortly after the attacks, it seemed that as soon as the ultra-patriotic sentiment started kicking in for some people, a sentiment of overt xenophobia and islamophobia started becoming more noticeable. Many people, especially the ignorant conservatives, tried using their so-called 'patriotism' to try to justify racist beliefs and acts. Though it has occurred before 9/11, it felt like that acts and ideologies amplified after 9/11, and to some extent it still happens today. It just disturbs me how people can be so susceptible to these fear-based beliefs that are not even true for the most part. For example, my friend Rafiq, who I mentioned, told me stories of random people on the street and school accusing his father of being a terrorist, or judging his mom because she wore a hijab. They were one of the nicest families at the school I went to. In fact, the Quran actually strongly condemns and rejects violence." Beshte said.
After Beshte finished, we all nodded our heads in agreement.
"Yeah, I remembered that too. I remembered when the attacks occurred, my elementary school also had an assembly and some people I knew left school early and I was basically watching the news every day before and after school for almost two weeks. And I was also disturbed by the increased incidents of Islamophobic sentiments and attacks that occurred in the time shortly following 9/11. For example, when I was young, a family who lived on my street experienced some harassment and bias from random people in their workplace after 9/11 because they were Muslim. It is so unfair that nice, innocent people that did nothing wrong get judged solely based on their religion, appearance, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or gender. I also hate it when some people blame an entire group of people is blamed for the actions of one or a select few people. And it's sad that prejudice and hateful beliefs are still a major problem today." I replied.
"There are also still high levels of social inequalities and the disproportionate distribution of resources in society today. It's just plain unfair and atrocious that socioeconomic factors influence the quality and accessibility for certain communities and individuals to get necessary resources such as housing, healthcare and education." Jasiri said.
"It really disturbs me when I hear or read about redlining policies from the 1930's still influences housing and financial accessibility for marginalized communities today." Emma said.
"Yeah, it really sucks that this shit still goes on today and many innocent people are being discriminated against solely because of these factors." Ramaz replied.
"There have been some occasions where this prejudice in the human world, somewhat reminds me of back in the Outlands and Pride Lands…when I and others around me were judged solely on us being hyenas. For a long time, hyenas have been forced to live in particularly dry and malnourished areas such as the Outlands, the Elephant Graveyard and Termite Mounds because we were constantly judged as being 'savage', 'heartless', or 'lack respect for the Circle of Life', which is actually not true for any hyenas including myself and my clan. When this one group of hyenas conspired with Scar to kill Mufasa and enforce his repressive regime in the Pride Lands. Sure, it was a bad thing to do and there was little to no justification for that, but because of that, all hyenas before, during and after that time period were judged, discriminated against and stereotyped just because of what those hyenas and a few other bad ones have done. And funny thing, Scar eventually tried to scapegoat those same hyenas and the hyenas were the ones to actually kill Scar, but it seems that many people in the Pride Lands forget that part of the story and only focus on Simba's contributions. Based on what I have heard, many of the stories and myths Pride Lander youth were exposed to almost exclusively portrays hyenas as villains or a 'sidekick' of some sorts…..there were very few that I head or know of that portray hyenas in a positive light…..even fewer that portray them as a hero. Though I am not saying that this prejudice is EXACTLY like the prejudice in the human world, because in the human world there are many complex factors, including large-scale systemic factors, that contribute to these unfair policies and the enabling of discriminatory and biased behaviors. I was noting that there were a few similarities that I noticed with the prejudice that has been inflicted upon hyenas by some Pride Landers." Jasiri said.
We continued to discuss the topics of social injustice, inequalities and marginalization for a little bit longer, along with some of Beshte's other journal entries, the conversation went to a natural stop.
"Okay, I am going to show you some entries from the journal that I brought for tonight." Nala said as she pulled out a small notebook with a dark pinkish-magenta cover.
"Okay, so I am going to show you some journal entries from a couple of years ago that I thought were pretty significant to me in regards to my thought processes of learning more about myself and sexuality before coming out." Nala said as she turned the pages until she started turning towards a specific set of pages until she started reading a few of the entries:
November 12, 2015
Today has been a pretty boring day at work, just the usual stuff. Lately, I have started listening to some interesting NPR podcasts today, and they discussed a lot about sexuality, which helped me learn more about myself. It reminded me of some books and previous stuff I have learned several years ago. For all these years, I had these thoughts, feelings and anxieties that I was confused about. I've been called 'confused' or 'crazy' by members of my own family when I was a young cub, and I've been having negative thoughts about myself for two decades. With what I have learned in the human world I know that none of the thoughts or feelings I have are wrong. I know that I am attracted to the same-sex and there is nothing wrong with that, its part of who I am. I never really loved Simba in a romantic way anyway, and I got a feeling that he never loved me romantically that much anyway with all the women he has seen behind my back over the years. Though… if I decide to leave Simba and come out, I'm afraid that Kiara and Kion would not be accepting and understanding, which could negatively impact our relationship and I'm not sure what to do. Live my life as my true self or still be stuck in what is essentially a sham marriage to maintain a relationship with my children. I have to think a lot about this…..this is just like the time where I was deciding whether or not to leave with Shani.
"Yeah, and unfortunately during that time, I chose to stay because I was afraid of potentially losing a relationship with my children. But little did I know that when I actually did come out, that my life actually became so much better. After I left Simba and came out, the negative thoughts I initially had about myself are gone, there is no more walking on eggshells near an egotistical maniac, and I now feel that I can live my life to my fullest potential." Nala said as she started to smile towards the end.
"Yeah, I had a similar experience to Nala before I came out. Even when I always knew that I am attracted to women, I was afraid that coming out would affect my relationships with the people in my lives, so I initially played the 'stay together for the kids' routine with my ex-husband. But then soon, after one particular argument with him, I realized that my kids just became adults now and there is no excuse to stay together, so we ended up getting a divorce. Then shortly after that, I realized that there was nobody to hide my true self from, and most of the people in my life, including friends and family, would be fine with me coming out, so I did and like Nala I was still able to maintain most of the personal relationships of my life." My mom replied.
We continued to discuss her journal entries for a little longer until we moved onto the discussion of Jasiri's selected journal entries. She started by taking out a small dark green book and turned to a specific page.
"Okay, so this was a journal that I kept during my first and second years of college. I brought this particular journal because I thought this was significant to my personal development in the human world since it was when I was figuring out what I was going to do with my life during adulthood. For example, here's one from the second semester of my first year of college at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. This one says….."Jasiri said before she read the entry.
February 10, 2010,
It's just the third week of the semester and now the work is starting to pile up. I have so much work to do by Friday, I finished the stuff due tomorrow though. I am just taking a break right now to give myself some rest. Man…the process in which humans figure out what they want to do with their lives is exhausting! Though I still have time before I pick out a major to further study, I'm just still confused of what I am going to do because back in the Outlands and Pride Lands, there was no college or even high school to expose us to a particularly wide range of life directions. Back then our roles in life were typically related to the group we lived with, experience-based depending on what goes on, or survival-based for rogues or those who live a typically solitary lifestyle. In the human world, it's all so different. So far, I really like the geology courses I have taken, but biology is interesting too, perhaps I can either double major, or even have a minor in it. But on the other hand, I also like the anthropology course I've been taking this semester. Plus, the weather has been horrible this week, why does it have to be so cold this week? I almost sipped on the ice when exiting the building of my last class today. Can't wait for spring to come in a month or two so I can stop wearing my coat. Even when I have been used to this weather for almost a decade now, it can still be kind of annoying to be constantly shivering during those months. Anyway, I have a lot to do this week, and a lot to think about for my future.
"So yeah, during that time, I was particularly confused of what I am going to do in my life after finishing school and this was before I decided to go to grad school and pursue fossil preparation. Let's just say that the first year of college was pretty confusing to me and I was adjusting to starting to live by myself without my guardians….even though they weren't that far away. But still it was that period of adjustment." Jasiri said.
"Same, I was so confused when Kovu and I started college, it was so exhausting and confusing before we had to live by ourselves without guardians for extended periods of times and starting to navigate the human world by ourselves." Kiara said.
"Yeah, I had a similar experience when I first went to college. For example, there was this one time where…" Ono said as he recalled a memory of his from college.
After a few minutes of further sharing stories related to Jasiri's college journal entries. After that, we began a discussion of Ono's journal entries.
"Okay, so this journal was from when I was around middle school, and let's just say that it was kind of an awkward time for me in my adjustment to the human world. For example, here's one entry I wrote after a bad incident at my school's Fall Dance during sixth grade." Ono said as he opened his journal.
October 19, 2002
Last night was a horrible experience. So I went to the Fall Dance last night because I thought it would be a way to commemorate my first year of middle school. When I came, I swore that the entire sixth grade was there, along with some seventh and eighth graders. I went alone as I don't really have a friend group at school yet. Initially the dance was going smoothly, I mostly hung around by the bleachers of the gym, and a few people came up to me and did the whole "Oh no Ono" jokes, which has been starting to get on my nerves lately. Plus, there was some decent music, it's mostly music I would hear on the popular radio stations or TV, like Nelly, Ashanti, boy band stuff and even some rap. But then, at one point, I started transforming into my egret form in front of everyone at the dance …I tried making it to the bathroom to do it in pirate, but unfortunately, I wasn't fast enough. So everyone in the gymnasium saw me transform and let's just say it just got worse from there. The whole school was laughing at me or calling me names like chicken, bird guy, freak, and others. I just ran out of the gym, and I went to the school security desk to ask them to use a phone to call my guide to come pick me up. Now I'm just going to focus only on homework this weekend. I could not even imagine the torture that school is going to become when this weekend ends.
"Yeah, and to explain the whole joke thing, many classmates use the phrase 'Oh no!' before my name because of the similarities in pronunciation with my name. And let's just say that after that dance, that week in school was pure torture. I was essentially the laughingstock of the school for a week or two, everyone except my teachers were calling me names, laughing at me, placing mean and ridiculous notes on and inside my locker. Also one time, I was in gym class and I was opening the locker where my clothes were to change out of my gym uniform. When I opened my locker, all of a sudden a bunch of feathers came out, where was a carton of eggs next to my clothes, along with some more notes. Though fortunately the bad stuff ended after a week or two, but the nicknames lasted much longer." Ono finished.
"That really sucks Ono. I am sorry that you had to go through that." Emma replied.
"Yeah, that sounds rough…..And I thought that my middle school year was rough with me starting to experience puberty earlier than everyone else in my year….I'm sorry that happened to you" Pete said.
"It's okay, the good thing is that it's over and I don't have to worry about those specific jerks anymore. Though that incident and week of torture did cost me a chance of asking out a girl from my math class that I initially had a crush on. But then when further getting to know her, she was actually quite obnoxious, so I guess I actually might have dodged something in that case." Ono said.
We continued to discuss Ono's journal entries, which include some of us telling our own awkward middle school experiences before moving on to Kiara's discussion and journal entries. She eventually took out a small beige notebook and turned to a specific entry.
"So I have kept this journal from when I was in late middle school and early high school. This particular section was significant to me because this was a month after I broke up with my middle school boyfriend and I found out that Kovu and I were going to the same high school. So the summer after we graduated the eighth grade in our middle schools, we rekindled our love that summer. For example, in this particular entry Kovu and I went to this beach in Rio del Mar that was two hours from where we lived in California. Vitani recently got her driver's license at the time so she and a friend of hers took us to the beach. It was a pretty significant time for our renewed love for one another once we got some time alone." Kiara said before reading the entry.
July 18, 2003
Today was an absolutely lovely day. Kovu and I have been back together for a whole month already! That's crazy right?! I don't even miss Isaac. Today we went to a beach in Rio del Mar with Vitani and her friend Pablo. They both got their driver's licenses recently, so they each took turns driving the car. It took over two hours to get there but it was worth it. We just had a good time, doing stuff like wading in the future, getting some sun and just talking with one another. When Vitani and Pablo were focused on other stuff, Kovu and I finally had some time alone to further catch up with one another on a more personal level. We talked about our experiences in our middle schools, the relationships we had during our three-year break. We both found out that even when we were in those relationships, we always felt that there was something missing at the time….but when we are together, we feel whole again. We are each other's missing piece, which reminded us of the whole 'We are one' phrase that we used to say around the Pride Lands, along with when we reunited the Pride Landers and the Outlanders. We even tried to do the thing where we place our faces next to each other to fill our 'missing halves' in our human forms this time, but it didn't work because the ocean water was constantly moving and could never get a clear reflection. We also talked about our dreams and desires for when we eventually become adults in the human world since being queen and king of the Pride Lands is no longer an option. We really enjoyed our time at the beach, talking to each other, making out with each other and just spending time with each other. I could stare in his green eyes all day. For a while, we even each took an earphone from his iPod and slowly danced to a few songs on his playlist. Soon we headed back home, Vitani and Pablo bought us some McDonalds as an early dinner. My time on the beach with Kovu really helped us realize that the two of us are meant for each other and we are each other's missing half as some would call it. I'm so glad that we will be at the same high school in the fall, it will give us more time to spend with one another as a couple and potential classmates if possible.
"This particular trip to the beach was pretty significant because even when Kovu and I had been back together for a month by this point, this was the moment where we knew that we were still and always will be in love with one another, and we still thought about each other during our middle school relationships. It showed that after all these years, we still had love for each other and that our relationship can survive being in the human world." Kiara said.
"Oh yeah, I remember you coming back from that trip, you were quite happy and calm that night." Nala said.
"Yeah, it was quite a memorable time, and I was quite an expressive teenager back then." Kiara said.
"So did you and Kovu share a lot of classes during your freshman year of high school?" Ono asked.
"Well, we actually shared a fair number of classes together freshman year. For example, there was this one World Studies we had together, and we had the strictest teacher for that class. I remember this one time that we were assigned to do these debates ..." Kiara said as she continued her story.
We went on with our discussion for several more minutes until time was called for the group discussion with everyone attending the meeting. We then got placed in separate groups for the exhibit excursion activity, where my group and I explored one of the temporary exhibits in the main floor of the museum. After that, we reconvened for a final group discussion before ending the meeting for tonight.
After the meeting ended for the night, Jasiri and I stuck around to talk with some of our friends, alongside my mother and Nala. We discussed a wide variety of topics. At one point, Timon came up to Nala and briefly talked with her. They then hugged each other, and we overheard them discuss their experiences coming out along with other experiences in each of their lives, with my mom sometimes adding to their conversation.
After we finished conversing, Jasiri and I headed back to her car. We are heading to her apartment to spend the night together.
Tonight was an interesting meeting because I've gotten to know more about Jasiri and the others' experiences through a more intimate and personalized perspective. Many have faced unique experiences during important phases and events in their lives. This discussion also introduced me to new perspectives of certain situations, events, and even some facets of life in general.
Along with making me think about life in general….it also made me realize how complex it can be….making me think about further in the future.
For example, I am deeply in love with Jasiri, and I honestly can't really imagine my life with anyone else. And though we have been dating each other for five to six months, I am already thinking about taking our relationship further. I am thinking about moving it to another step…..a big step.