Link was sweating. Zelda was called to the stand by Bowser. She gave him a wink as she walked by. It pissed him off. He knew exactly what she was doing. This has got to be the dirtiest trick she's ever pulled.

Bowser: "Why was Link mad at you?"

Zelda: "I don't know. All I remember is that he was angry."
Bowser: "Was he angry at you?"
Zelda: "No, he was just angry."

Bowser: "If you had to guess, why do you think he was angry?"

Zelda: "Maybe because of the pressure? I'm not sure."

Bowser: "Do you remember when he stabbed you?"
Zelda: "That I do."

Kazuya: "Objection! That doesn't make sense. How were you able to remember him stabbing you? You said that you believed he stabbed you, but you never said that you remembered before."

Zelda: "You're right, I did say that but the more I think about the event, the more it's coming back to me."
Kazuya: "It's coming back to you? It sounds sudden if you ask me. Usually trauma takes time to heal."

Zelda: "It's true, but I also wield the triforce power of wisdom. I'm magical you see. Miracles happen to me often."
Kazuya: "I suppose I didn't take that into account."

Bowser: "Are you done?"

Kazuya: "Yeah."

Link: "That's bullshit!"

The judge Olimar: "Link, shut the fuck up you."

Link proceeds to flip Olimar off.

Bowser: "Aaaanyway, so you do remember Link stabbing you?"

Zelda: "Yes. It happened so fast."

Kazuya: "Objection! So you're saying that the triceforce of wisdom despite knowing that Link was angry, could not act fast enough to dodge Link's assault?"

Zelda: "He's faster than me."

Kazuya: "He would have to unsheathe his sword and then stab you. Clearly as a smash character, you would be on guard as soon as you saw Link grab his sword."
Zelda: "It's true, but I didn't think he would stab me."

Kazuya: "You knew he was angry."

Zelda: "I've seen him angry. He's never harmed me before."

Bowser: "Give it a rest, Kazuya. Who's to say he doesn't have lightning speed?"

Kazuya: "He doesn't. I know, I've fought him before."

Bowser: "She has a slower reaction time than you."
Kazuya: "Doubt it."

Bowser: "This has nothing to do with the trial."

Kazuya: "The trial doesn't have anything to do with your ugly ass but here we are."

Bowser: "Bitch you wanna go?"

Kazuya: "Please, I've fought you a lot and you always lose."

Olimar: "Guys, stop it."

Zelda: "Can we get back to the trial please?"

Bowser: "Now as we all know, Zelda lost bits of her memory. Yes, she could have dodged it, but who's to say? Link is really fast and she didn't expect him to hurt her in the first place."

Zelda: "I would like to add that I would never harm myself. Why would I? I'm happy with my life. I have amazing friends. I have an amazing boyfriend. I have no reason to."
Link: "She's lying! She's not happy. When I tried breaking up with her, her entire world fell apart that day. That's why she's been threatening her life to keep me."

Bowser: "Is this true, Zelda?"

Zelda: "I've never threatened my life."

Link: "Zelda, please tell them the truth. You stabbed yourself because I said things you didn't like. I said that I love someone else."

Zelda: "I don't remember the argument at all."

Link stood up and stared at the jury. He gave them a serious face. It's time they know the real truth.

Link: "Alright, I'm going to tell the entire story."

Bowser: "Hey you're not on the stand!"
Link: "The jury needs to know."

Olimar: "I want to know, so permission is granted."

Link: "The person I'm in love with is Kirby."

Everyone gasped. No one could believe it. The pink puffball that the imposter murdered? Wait, what? That doesn't make sense at all.

Link: "I know this is hard to believe, but Kirby is the imposter woman. She's not the pink puffball anymore. I was there at the party! I saw what happened. Paluntena turned Kirby into a woman. And I fell in love with her."

Silence filled the room.

Link: "I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. Please, you have to believe me. I'm in love with Kirby, not Zelda. That's why we're in court right now. It's all because of Kirby. She's not dead. The so-called imposter you guys are talking about is her."

The room continued to silent. Link started to panic. Did he say too much? Then he saw him. He saw Mario give Link the deadliest stare. What is that all about? God dammit! Why did he have to run his mouth? But it's true. Everything he said has been nothing but the truth. There's got to be someone that's on his side.

Link: "Please, anyone you gotta believe me."
?: "I do."

Everyone turned to see who was the other person that spoke. It was Captain Falcon. He made his way up to the stand.

Captain Falcon: "I was also there at the party. It did happen. Kirby is that hot chick."

Link: "Captain Falcon…"

Bowser: "Wait, just a darn minute, what's Link stabbing Zelda got to do with Kirby?"
Link: "It has everything to do with Kirby. I'm in love with her and Zelda knows it."

…

Clone Sonic and Samus were on a nice date. It wasn't too bad. He enjoyed her company for the most part. He didn't know what to talk about so there were times that it was awkward. However, Samus turned it around.

"You seem different. More mature. What's up with that?" She asked.

This is his chance! He can use this excuse to tell her 'his' hobbies. "I like to read books now."

"Yeah I saw you at the library before."

"Yeah, Ness got me into it."

"It's unlike you, but I guess a lot has changed in the past 4 months."

"It has."

"You should read me a book."

"I would love that."

"So what kind of books are you into?"

"Sci-fi!"

"Why?"

"I dunno. It's exciting!"

"Interesting. You know, out of all genres I think Sci-fi is my favorite too. Well, I mean I lived it. Going to space and fighting aliens. It's fun but also the worst."

"You went to space to fight aliens?!"
"Yeah, I told you this before."
"R-right. I'm sorry, that's so amazing! Samus you're amazing!"

"Thank you!" *Blushes*

"Seriously! You should take me to space one of these days."

"Haven't you been there before?"
"Not with you that's for sure."

"Are you saying you wanna go on a date to space?"
"Maybe."

"Alright, one of these days I'll take you to space and we can have a space picnic."

"Space picnic!"

The two ended up having a good time. Sonic walked her back to her room. He was about to leave, but Samus grabbed his arm. She turned him around and kissed him on the cheek.

"I had a great time," Samus winked.

"Me too."

"You better read to me one of these nights."
"I will."

With that, Samus closed her door. Sonic was surprisingly happy with the results. She was interested in the stuff he enjoyed. Maybe he was wrong about her. Maybe she's not so bad. The only problem is that she's a horny person and he's not. He really didn't want to have sex with Samus. He didn't care about it and also it's nerve-racking. Oh well, he'll figure out what to do once he crosses that bridge, but for now he's enjoying his time with her. She's a good friend for sure.

…

The four prisoners blinked. Clone Ness was present and no Mario? He looked out of breath. Is he running away from someone?

C. Ness: "Hey so uh, I think I may have gone carried away."

Gordon: "Carried away?"

Sonic: "Where's my clone?"

C. Ness: "I don't know."

Ness: "What do you mean by carried away? What did you do?!"

C. Ness: "Ness! Just the guy I wanted to see."

Ness: "Oh no, what did you do?"

Sonic: "Dude, he totally fucked someone."

Ness: "No."

C. Ness: "Well um, actually…"

Ness: "What! No! You didn't… Oh god… No…."
C. Ness: "Haha…"

Sonic: "Shiiit, dude who was it?"

C. Ness: "Ok let me explain from the beginning."

Ness: "No! Go away!"

Sonic: "No, this is interesting!"

C. Ness: "Ok, so I uh I fucked Leaf."

Sonic: "OH SHIT!"

Ness: "I can't believe you! You took advantage of her!"

C. Ness: "Actually she was the one that pressured it."

Ness: "LeAf?!"

C. Ness: "Dude, I wasn't even going to do it yet. She really wanted it. And when I said she wanted it she came prepared. Who was I to say no!"

Ness: "YOU! You could've just said no!"

C. Ness: "What! Saying no to a hot girl? No way, dude."

Sonic: "I gotta agree with the clone on this one."

Ness: "You're not helping."

Sonic: "What can I say, you can't blame him."
Ness: "Yes I can."

C. Ness: "Dude, no really she had a condom under her pillow."
Ness: "Stop! I don't want to hear it!"

Kawasaki: "What are we talking about?"

C. Ness: "Oh about me banging Leaf."
Kawasaki: "Why would you hurt her?"
C. Ness: "I was gentle."

Gordon: "He doesn't understand what sex is. Don't bother."

C. Ness: "Noted."

Ness: "Oh my god…"
C. Ness: "Anyway, so she wants me to ask her out officially."

Sonic: "Do it."

Ness: "No!"

C. Ness: "The problem is I uh, I also did stuff with Lucas."

Ness: "LuCaS?!"
Sonic: "I knew you were gay, Ness."

Ness: "I didn't do it!'

Sonic: "Yeah well he's you, so…"
Ness: "He's not me! That's not how cloning works!"
Gordon: "Holy shit the plot thickens."

C. Ness: "Hey I didn't fuck him."

Ness: "Oh thank god."

C. Ness: "I only sucked his cock."

Ness: "No…"

Sonic: "Holy shit! This Ness is crazy."

Ness: "Yeah…"
C. Ness: "Um, so he's in the equation now. This is a problem because once I start dating Leaf, I'll have to tell Lucas that we can't be nothing more. This means I can't do anything sexual with him anymore, but I want to."

Ness: "I think I'm going to throw up."

Kawasaki: "So wait, what's the problem?"

C. Ness: "Well I want both. However, if I tell Leaf no, then she might tell everyone what happened between us out of spite. If I say yes and she does become my girlfriend, there's a chance I might cheat on her and if she finds out then she'll tell everyone how awful I am."
Ness: "Good! You are awful."

C. Ness: "Not just that, but what if word gets to Mario?! I'll be replaced."

Ness: "Good! That should happen."

C. Ness: "What if the next Ness close is worse than me?"

Ness: "I don't think that's possible. You're pretty awful."
Sonic: "Dude, just have both."

C. Ness: "What if I get caught?"

Sonic: "Don't get caught."

Gordon: "What is up with Ness and screwing things up?"

C. Ness and Ness: "Gee thanks."

C. Ness: "Come on, Ness you gotta help me out. What would you do in this situation?"

Sonic: "Ness could never."

Ness: "What do you mean by that?"
Sonic: "I'm sorry, but you got no game."

Ness: "I don't try."

Gordon: "Sorry, kid even if you did I just don't see it."

Kawasaki: "Ness doesn't have a game? Then how is he in the smash roster?"

Gordon: "Not that kind of game you idiot."

Kawasaki: "Hey, that's not nice."

Gordon: "Shut up, Kawasaki."

Kawasaki: "Hmph!"

C. Ness: "Come on, you gotta help me."

Ness: "Why would I help you?"

C. Ness: "I'm sure you don't want me to screw up your image right?"

Ness: "It's already screwed up."

C. Ness: "Please! I'm not sure what to do. I'm freaking out."

Ness: "Sorry not my problem."
C. Ness: "I am you, so it is your problem."
Ness: "If I ever get out of here, I'll just tell people that you were a clone."

C. Ness: "Well everyone thinks I'm you. It'll be hard to take all this back."
Ness: "I'll figure it out."

C. Ness: "Come on, please."

Ness: "You're taking over my life! Why would I help you? I want you to die."

C. Ness: "I didn't ask to be here!"

Ness: "No one did."

Sonic: "You gotta act more like Ness dude. Stop being all horny."

C. Ness: "I can't."

Sonic: "Dude, even I don't think about it 24/7."

C. Ness: "It's not my fault. Everyone is coming on to me. Heck! Before I got here I ran into the Ice Climbers and Nana was acting pretty sus around me."

Ness: "Nana?!"

C. Ness: "We didn't do anything. I didn't let it happen this time."
Ness: "There's no way Nana would be into you."

C. Ness: "I dunno, I'm a pretty good looking dude."

Ness: "Nana has never shown interest."

C. Ness: "What can I say? I got game. Which is why I'm confused as to why you're still a virgin."

Sonic: "Haha! Virgin."
Ness: "I don't whore myself out like you do."

C. Ness: "Honestly, I'm not even going out of my way."

Ness: "I don't believe you."
C. Ness: "I'm serious. They are the ones that want it. I just don't fight it."

Ness: "No, there's no way Nana would do that."

C. Ness: "I dunno man. Anyway, I gotta go meet up with Leaf soon, please can anyone give me any ideas? Should I date or tell her something else?"

Sonic: "Date her."

C. Ness: "I don't trust myself though…"

Sonic: "Like I said, if you want Lucas too then hit it. Don't get caught."

Ness: "No! Don't date anyone!"

Kawasaki: "You can tell her that you want to date her but it has to be a secret because you want to start slow. You can also say that you don't want a lot of attention because everyone thinks you got no game or whatever that means."
Gordon: "Holy shit, did that just happen?"
C. Ness: "That's… not a bad idea actually. This gives me more time."

Ness: "Kawasaki!"

Kawasaki: "What? Did I do something bad?"

C. Ness: "No you're a genius. Thanks, mate!"

With that the clone ran off. Everyone stared at kawasaki shocked.

Sonic: "Since when did you get smart?"

Kawasaki: "What? Am I not smart?"

Gordon: "No, you have got to be one of the dumbest individuals I've ever met."

Kawasaki: "Rude."

Gordon: "But for once, you said something smart."
Sonic: "Dude, nice!"

Ness: "No, not nice! He's going to date Leaf."
Sonic: "So?"
Ness: "So?! Did you just say so? Are you kidding me? Leaf thinks he's me! He's not me! He's hurting her without realizing it! This is wrong."

Sonic: "But hey, you got a girlfriend now."

Ness: "A girlfriend who fell for someone else!"

Sonic: "Fair. I wonder if my clone got Samus back. Oh god, I wonder if they're banging right now!"

Ness: "See doesn't this make you angry?"

Sonic: "Not really."

Ness: "Someone else is fucking your girl!"

Sonic: "Yeah but at least it's not another guy."

Ness: "It is though!"

Sonic: "Hey, that clone is Sonic. It's not like she's fucking Little Mac."

Ness: "You're not getting it."

Sonic: "If I ever get out, I'll still have a girlfriend. Hopefully. Honestly I don't know if he got her back. That clone is such a nerd, I doubt. This means I gotta pick up his slack."

Ness: "Oh god, that clone is ruining my life. Oh Leaf why… Oh god Lucas… This is awful."

Sonic: "Well now you know you got potential."

Gordon: "True, he was able to charm them, so you could if you ever got out."

Ness: "I don't want a relationship."

Sonic: "But I'm sure you wanna fuck, right?"

Ness: "N-no? I don't know. I don't think about that really."

Sonic: "Come on, everyone thinks about that."

Kawasaki: "I don't."

Sonic: "Except this orange freak."

Ness: "Well I mean, yeah but-

Sonic: "See, be grateful. Now you know that Leaf and Lucas like you."

Ness: "Ok, but the problem is that he's manipulating them. They think he's me!"
Sonic: "True."

Ness: "Oh my god, he's going to do something awful. I can already tell."

Kawasaki: "Would a song cheer you up?"
Everyone: "NO!"