Part 1: White Clouds
The Princess of Adrestria
…
"Come on."
…
"You can do it…"
…
Edelgard growled silently as she kept staring at her target, almost burrowing a hole into it from her glare alone. She was in the classroom right now and if you walked in on her, you would wonder why she looked like she wanted to kill a glass of water. But Edelgard was in the middle of training. She kept staring at the glass, or more specifically, the contents inside it.
She and Lysithea had been discussing the theories behind the potential of Ki. Though the latter just assumed it was too much to pull off considering how little they knew about the subject. Even both their Professor's didn't have much knowledge about Ki. That pretty much died with Byleth's mother. But Edelgard was confident. She just needed to try.
But the Princess then noticed that the water inside the glass was starting to ripple. Like the sea on a stormy night. Her eyes widened at the sight but kept her focus. This was the furthest she ever got! No, focus Edelgard! She kept staring and slowly but surely, the liquid started to lift up from the glass, still keeping it's shape but rippling with the same ferocity of the stormy sea. She almost laughed in delight but still tried to keep her focus. Hard part was over, now let's see how far she can take it.
Concentrating harder, she slowly watched the water ascend higher and higher, going all the way up to the ceiling. The rippling was getting worse the further it got away but she didn't care, the fact is that it worked just like she theorised-
"Ah, Edelgard! There you are!"
SPLASH!
"…"
Ferdinand scratched his head in confusion. "May I ask why you are covered in water?"
"…What do you want, Ferdinand?" Edelgard asked, while trying her best not to strangle the Noble and grabbed a handkerchief out of her pocket and tried drying her hair.
"Ah, yes. Well, I have come here to offer a proposal."
…Oh gods, please no.
"I want you…"
No, no, no!
"Look Ferdinand I told you-"
"To show me how to make a weapon out of that energy thing."
Wait, what?
Ferdinand continued, not noticing her stunned look. "All I'm saying, is that a true Noble must aspire to improve himself. And I, Ferdinand von Aegir, must do so if I am to lead the Empire by your side."
"You… want to learn Ki?"
"Oh Goddess, no! I merely want to know this one thing. And it would help us get the jump on the other houses when it comes to the Battle of the Eagle and Lion! And it is a way for me to prove I'm better than you!"
Okay, slight jab aside, he made a point. It wouldn't hurt to have other people in her house learn this power. Heck, she even tried to get Linhardt to try and learn it during their time in Abyss. But he wasn't interested. She stood up and sighed.
"Let me think about it."
"That's all I ask. Oh, and by the way, Monica was looking for you."
"Of course she was… if you'll excuse me." She nodded and took her leave to properly dry her hair out. But on the way, she felt a sense of anxiousness grow. Why was she looking for her?
It didn't make too much sense to grab her out of her training. After all, she couldn't even do the proper training right now after she face planted on the ground yesterday for trying to do push-ups. Damn ankle was holding her back. At this rate, Claude and Dimitri were going to surpass her and she refused to let the former do that. His teasing was already annoying as is-
"Heeeeey bestie!"
…and here comes the headache. Edelgard turned to face 'Monica' who was smirking. "Been waiting for you. How's your wittle leg?"
"Why were you looking for me?" Edelgard asked, not in the mood for games. But Kronya giggled and skipped over to her.
"Isn't it obvious? I was worried about you! You went and disappeared for a week straight!"
But that's when Kronya leaned in closer to Edelgard. "Our Lord isn't happy with you, you know. Constantly running off on your own when you have a mission here."
"I'll get to it." Edelgard said, though admittedly hesitating at first. "Can't you see that this power has the potential to level the Church? And if I can get her on my side-"
"Oh please, that fish eyed freak-"
SLAM!
Kronya grunted in surprise when she found herself pinned against the wall with an arm against her throat. And she grinned with glee seeing that anger in the Princesses eyes.
"Don't you dare disrespect my teacher."
"Ah, ah, ah! Careful Edie." Kronya giggled, prying her arm away and dusting herself off. "Your pining for her won't save you from our Lords wrath. Just remember that he gave you that gift that's running through your veins. And he can just as easily take it away."
Edelgard watched her turn to walk away but she stopped mid stride and looked behind her shoulder. "Don't disappoint."
With that, she waved and walked away as Edelgard growled silently and clenched her fists. But then she felt a presence nearby and blinked in surprise seeing Seteth there with a towel.
"I noticed your hair was soaking wet and thought that you could use one. Here, take it."
"Yes… thank you Seteth." Edelgard said and gladly took the towel before using it. While she was drying her hair, Seteth asked her if she was able to turn up for another therapy session.
"I think we are getting close to the core of your issues. That and the philosophical debates are admittedly fun and a nice change of pace from my current work."
"Well, I cannot exactly do much while my ankle is still sore. Please lead the way." Edelgard explained as she followed Seteth to his office.
"Ah yes, from your little adventure. I have to say, I was very surprised when I read the report. Of course, I knew of Abyss, but to think such a big situation came out of there… no matter, we shall be taking measures to improve the lives of those who live there now."
"I'm sure that Yuri and the Ashen Wolves would appreciate that very much." Edelgard replied and grunted when she sat down on the chair after they made it into the office. The feeling of taking weight off her foot was relieving but still stung. Seteth nodded and produced his usual writing set before sitting down in front of her.
"Very good. Now then, why don't we pick up where we left off last? I'd like to know what drives you."
"What drives me?" Edelgard frowned, confused.
"Yes. You are an exceptional individual Edelgard. Not only are you one of our top students and acing all our tests and exercises, but you also have to bear the burden of taking over as one of Fódlan's leaders in the future. And yet despite all this pressure, I haven't seen you cave under it once or give up. So, what's your drive? What motivates you?"
Edelgard closed her eyes and hummed in thought. "If you must know… my drive is to be someone who changes Fódlan for the better. Like we discussed before, I do not think the Crest system works to benefit everyone. That's why I intend to change that when I inherit the crown."
"And how exactly will you do that?"
"…I would like to talk about something else."
Still another barrier. She couldn't reveal her plans.
"Very well." Seteth nodded. "And outside of your studies and your training, do you have any hobbies? Do you read?"
Ah, a simple question. Easy enough. "I used to. The Empire had quite a few rare copies of ancient tales that fascinated me."
"Oh? And would you care to explain to me which one was your favourite?"
"I can." Edelgard smiled and let herself be lost in the story telling.
"Long before Fódlan was united and the Saints watched over us, there was an evil wizard who tried to take over the land and rule it for himself. To do so, he used a forbidden curse to bring a statue to life and lay waste to everything around them. Nobody could stop the dreaded beast for it was too powerful. And just when all hope seemed lost, two mysterious saints appeared and played their magic instruments to seal away the monster. However, after it was said and done, they both vanished. Nobody knew what happened to the pair, or to the wizard. Some say he is still around to this day, looking for the remnants of his lost monster. And as for the saints, they were simply lost to time."
Edelgard opened her eyes and had a smile on her face, recounting the story she loved so much. "The Lost Saints. It's the one that fascinated me the most. Though there are not many copies of it in Fódlan. I trust that you have heard of it?"
Seteth was very silent and a deep frown spotted on his face as he slowly nodded. "Yes, quite a nice tale. Though I do wish it had a happier ending."
But he then leaned back and sighed. "Very good Edelgard. I'd like to move on with a question, if you would like to humour me."
"Oh? And what would that be?" Edelgard asked, sipping from her tea cup.
"I know you aren't particularly religious, Edelgard. Now I'm not asking you to convert to believing in the Goddess, I'm simply asking why you don't think she exists?"
"…You really want my answer?"
"That's what I'm asking."
…You know what? She could afford a little rant. She knew Seteth would keep this to himself. Over the course of these sessions she saw a whole side to Seteth that she never knew existed. He truly was a man of his word.
Well… not a man, but…
"Tell me, Seteth. Are you familiar with the way my siblings perished?"
She will alter certain details.
"Of course, a great plague was it not?"
Edelgard chuckled dryly at that. "That's what they wanted you to think. In reality, we were kidnapped…Tortured… I… I…"
Seteth' eyes widened as he watched Edelgard try speak her heart out. He saw she had a little trouble doing so and raised a finger before reaching in his drawer… and pulling out a bottle of whisky. She gasped in disbelief.
"Seteth?"
"Manuela may be a problematic drunk. But she does have her methods. When people have some alcohol in their system it… helps them speak their mind."
"…I don't drink. Especially not whisky."
"Then allow me to join you. I much prefer wine myself." Seteth replied and brought out two shot glasses. "It's worth a try, isn't it?"
Edelgard snapped out of her stupefied state and smiled. "And here I thought you were a devoted to the Goddess."
"I am still a person, Edelgard."
"Well… why not?"
She took the glass which was filled with the alcohol and gave it a quick sniff, recoiling in disgust at the strong smell. She was starting to regret this already. But… if she was going to do this…
"To Fódlan." She raised her glass and Seteth raised it in return before both downed the shot and Edelgard coughed after swallowing it, grabbing her cup of tea and downing it in an attempt to get the taste out of her mouth.
"I assume you don't go near alcohol that often." Seteth said with a slight twinge of amusement in his words.
"Forgive me, but as a Princess I can't exactly go making a fool of myself."
Seteth smiled but then looked serious once more.
"So… you said you were kidnapped."
Edelgard looked down at the floor. The alcohol was starting to work its effects already. She felt like… she could let loose. Though she had to remember to alter certain parts of the story too.
"Yes. A group of brigands managed to sneak into the palace and took all of us to… this dungeon…"
Her mouth struggled to get the words out again, and she held out her glass once more with Seteth nodding and pouring them another shot. She downed it without the cheers this time. She needed to get it off her chest. She was calm and composed with Dimitri and Claude. Not this time.
"They took us into this dungeon. They performed experiments on all of us. Gods knows how long we were down there. Those monsters cut us up and implanted things inside us all, and with no regard to how it would affect us! We were starved for days sometimes and the water wasn't clean! My sister perished because of the bacteria in the water!"
Seteth slowly nodded, having put the whisky away at this point. There was no point in tempting the girl to drown her sorrows. But it looked like she has been bottling this up for a long time, with her now walking around the room and telling her story, despite her injury still making her hobble. He never bothered to write it down, as he knew she wanted to keep this a secret. But now there was something else at large.
The Empire's potential heirs were all taken away and experimented on. And they hid it from the public…
Edelgard rolled up her sleeve and Seteth saw the amount of nasty spider web design of surgical scars that littered her body. He saw her being able to show them off proudly thanks to Byleth but…
"One by one, I had to watch my siblings die. My baby sister crying out for our mother before she took her last breath. Until it was just me. All alone. With… with… nothing but a cold cell, and no sheets to cover myself from the cold. To this day I can't look at rats or rodents without being taken back to that day…"
Eeelgard then let out a chuckle and then a dark laugh and turned to Seteth. "It's funny. I used to believe in the Goddess. Every night when I was down there, I prayed to be saved. Why wouldn't I be saved right? The Goddess protects all!"
"Edelgard-"
"But when the next sibling dies after the other you start to think maybe the Goddess won't save you. Do you know what that's like for a child? That you think maybe you did something wrong? That you weren't worthy? All I know is that by the time I was rescued I knew that the Goddess doesn't exist. Because what kind of being would put a child through all that and then turn her back?"
A deathly silence fell in the room, with the only sound being the pants of Edelgard as she finished pouring her heart out.
Wait. She really just did that, didn't she? Why did she do that? To Seteth of all people?
But she couldn't deny… it felt good to say it. Especially to a member of the Church, even if she had to omit certain things. That's when Seteth stood up and walked towards her. She was immediately on guard. What was he going to do to her? Should she run? Or fight-
Her mind went blank when… he hugged her. And he whispered.
"I'm so sorry, Edelgard. That you had to go through all that. Do you know who it was that did that to you?"
She felt misty eyed and so desperately wanted to cry and tell him everything. About Thales, about how there were Agarthan agents right under his nose.
But Edelgard knew that she couldn't.
"No…" she slowly hugged him back, desperate for affection. "They were all executed for their crimes. Not a trace was left. And the Empire couldn't let panic run amongst the streets… so they lied and said that it was a plague."
"…Thank you for telling me this. I know it wasn't easy. But I do think we should end our session here." He slowly pulled away and turned his back.
Edelgard slowly bowed her head and turned to leave but Seteth then spoke up. "If you're interested. I have another topic for us to debate on for the next session."
"Oh? And what would that be?"
"Is there such a thing as Free Will?"
She froze at that word. And slowly narrowed her eyes before nodding and continuing to walk away, closing the door behind her. Seteth sighed as he sat down and rubbed his eyes. Seems like he has uncovered a vast chasm inside Edelgard's mind. But there was something that kept coming back to him.
The Lost Saints.
He turned to the fireplace and on the mantle was an innocent looking music box. One he has never dared to play, and one not even Flayn knows about.
"I'm sorry I couldn't save you two… I hope you are resting well…"
Why? Why? Why did she do that?
Edelgard was currently sitting in the dining area drinking water in an attempt to get the alcohol out of her system, all the while panicking about what just happened.
She can't believe she spilled her heart out to Seteth of all people. If Thales or Kronya heard about any of this, then who knows what they would do? But then she shook her head. She had to calm down. It's not like Seteth was the only person to learn about what had happened. After all, Byleth, Dimitri and Claude know about it too. So it was okay.
But still, that doesn't excuse the fact that she lost her cool. She let herself be vulnerable. Why? These are the very people that she will be starting a war with soon enough, why is she giving the enemy intel?
'Because you don't want to fight them.'
Edelgard bit the inside of her cheek as the voice in her head spoke the truth. But she closed her eyes and let out a long sigh. She had to do it. She had to.
…But why-
"Edie? You're staring at your water all creepy like again."
She blinked to see Dorothea sitting in front of her with a hand on her chin frowning. "You're worrying me, Edie. Come on, what's on your mind? Is it because of what happened in Abyss?"
Edelgard shook her head, and Dorothea's frown went deeper and she reached over to grab her hand. "Alright, come with me."
"Wait, Dorothea! Where are we going?!"
"My room! We can have some privacy there."
Dorothea dragged Edelgard through the Monastery and the Princess was so surprised by how strong she was. Even though there was no doubt that Edelgard was the more powerful one, Dorothea was able to keep her in place and drag her around.
Did she know Ki? No, it couldn't be, she never attended training and even if she did, it was to cheer on her classmates…
…Mostly Petra.
"Okay sit down! Time for girl talk!" Dorothea said, plopping Edelgard onto the bed and sitting next to her. "What's got you down?"
Oh, how she so badly wanted to tell her best friend everything. How she wanted to tell her how she was being dragged into a crusade that she didn't even want to do, but didn't have a choice for the better of Fódlan. There were times where she felt like a puppet on strings-
Wait.
Strings.
"…Dorothea? I'd… like to ask you another philosophical question."
The Songstress tilted her head in confusion but nodded at Edelgard to continue as the girl was playing with her gloves. She felt the need to start covering herself again, probably because of her growing anxiety and certain people breathing down her neck. However, she was able to show them off during training which was a step forward. She looked at Dorothea and spoke.
"Do you believe that free will truly exists?"
Now if it was anyone else, Dorothea would just brush it off and ask them to start making sense. But she knew Edelgard, and the girls main thing was not making sense and talking in riddles. Poor thing couldn't get her words straight and speak her mind without some careful treading. So, she played along.
"Well… that's a tough question, isn't it?"
"Yes… yes it is."
Dorothea leaned back so her head was touching the wall and hummed. "Well, I think it depends on the choices you make."
"…I'm sorry, what?"
"I mean, we all technically don't have free will of our own because we have to do as we're told otherwise we will get punished, right? But in doing so, we would have free will. For example, if we broke curfew right now, that would be an instance of true free will. Since you're not following the rules established by someone who is in charge. Even though you will be punished, you thought for yourself."
Dorothea then raised a finger and pointed to herself. "I mean, look at me. I had to follow the rules just like anybody else growing up, but since I was an orphan who lived on the streets I had to think for myself and do things that weren't part of the rules. So you could say I showed free will during those times."
Edelgard hugged herself and looked away. "But what if you feel like you can't break the rules? What if you are trapped in a box and the only way forward is doing as you're told?"
"Well, yeah. Then you don't have free will." Dorothea shrugged. "But I think true free will is about a balance. Between following the rules and remaining true to yourself."
"How so?"
"Take a look at Manuela. She's a Professor here at Garreg Mach, which has it's own set of rules. Yet, she gets to be… herself-"
"Drunk."
"Herself! Hell, even Miss Byleth has her own balance. She has to follow the rules but she also gets to do her own thing with your training. I believe that's true free will."
But then Dorothea frowned. "Though… I suppose I can't speak for everyone."
"What? But you just said it's about balance!" Edelgard wanted to believe so bad, but Dorothea shook her head.
"I'm talking about this from the point of view of a Crestless Commoner. As much as I hate to say it, our situations are just too different, Edie. I can do things I want because I don't have the societal pressure like you do. Or anyone in our class. I mean, Ferdie is annoying with his advances sometimes but unfortunately he's a product of our society. I'd say Petra is just like me but I can't considering her backstory. If you think about it, I'm the only one in this class who has true free will."
"But I am the future Emperor. I can make a difference." Edelgard weakly defended.
"Exactly. You are. And maybe you can. But do you really think that something so ingrained in our society would be changed overnight? That people would accept it?"
"But I could make them accept it!"
Dorothea narrowed her eyes. "And take away their free will?"
And like that, Edelgard was floored and her jaw went slack. Was she… no better than TWSITD? That if she went through with this, that she would be just like those who took away her siblings?
No, no, no! She HAD to do this! So people didn't suffer the same way she did! She had to take down this society!
But… could she really take away their free will? Be the villain?
Finally, Edelgard snorted. "You're really good at this, Dorothea."
"A Songstress always have to improvise." She winked. "Plus, the amount of Nobles who go on about philosophy makes you think sometimes."
But then she leaned in. "So… you feeling better? Now that we did our little debate?"
"Yeah… yeah I think I am."
Dorothea let out a giggle. "Well, you're strong, Edie. Especially with this training that you're doing. I'm sure you of all people will be able to change things even if just by a little. Who knows?"
"Mhm… excuse me Dorothea, I'm going to go train. I've had a breakthrough with something I've been working on. And… Ferdinand wants to learn a little."
"Wait, Ferdie? He wants to learn Ki? Hey wait come back! Don't leave me hanging like that Edie!"
"Okay… you're going to do this." Edelgard whispered, now changed out of her academy uniform and donning her training gi. She was thinking back to her debate with Dorothea while putting on her wristbands.
"I can do this… I will do this… but I will do it my way."
After doing her stretches, she stood in front of a training axe and took in a few deep breathes, before extending her hand and focusing all her attention on the weapon. But her mind was now thinking back to everything she was told.
Her 'uncle'.
'You really think that you're in control? Don't forget who gave you that power.'
Kronya.
'It's so hilarious that you actually think that you can rebel against us. What, you think your alien teacher will save you?"
Solon.
'Don't bite the hand that feeds you, brat.'
Edelgard saw her hand starting to shake and upon looking at the scars littering her hands, felt the need to cover herself up. But that's when a familiar voice rang in her head.
'Your past doesn't define who you are. So don't let those who hurt you decide how you should be.'
Byleth. She said that.
'You're gonna be fine, kid. You just have to remember who you are.'
Professor Jeralt.
'If anyone can change this world, it's you, Edie!'
Dorothea.
Her eyes narrowed as with new resolve she straightened her hand out and glared at the axe once more. More voices rang in her head.
'We will make a difference together, as future leaders of Fódlan!'
Dimitri.
'You're too stubborn to let things stop you from doing what you want.'
Claude.
'I wish I was more like you, Edelgard.'
Flayn.
'I see someone who tries to keep going, no matter what. And I hope that fire in you doesn't die.'
Seteth.
They were right. They were all right.
She is Edelgard von Hresvelg! And she will change Fódlan! And she will do it her way!
She will challenge her fate!
Edelgard then blinked in confusion when she saw… the axe.
It was right at her feet. When it wasn't a second ago.
By Cichols beard, she did it!
She slowly smiled and picked it up. "Then I will change this world. For the better. I have to. For those who I love."
Unbeknownst to her, Byleth was watching from afar and nodded in satisfaction. Seems like these events were differing from the visions already. She just hopes that it is enough.
She then walked away and allowed Edelgard to keep on practicing.
*Song: DBZ Ending Theme*
Seems like Edelgard has had a breakthrough with not only her training but also her mental resolve. Will she stick to the plan set out to her? Or will she do things her way? Find out next time on, The Ashen Saiyan!
I was always fascinated with that one time Goku used his Ki for telekinesis and wondered why he never used it again. So I decided to let Edelgard figure out that one. I'm sure she can utilise it well.
And yes, I know her and Seteth are a weird combo but I do believe that out of everyone in the Church (not counting Shamir) he's the only one who can actually chip away at her mentality and make her consider other options.
Also, I hope you all like that little reference with the story Edelgard told, that's definitely going to be an arc in the future.
Finally, thanks to everyone that favourites and follows the story. We have managed to get to 150 favourites and 165 follows respectively!
Join us next time, for the start. Of the Lord Slug arc!
Catch you later!