Being attracted to Philip was a problem, for various reasons. The most immediately distressing to Marina was that he did not seem to feel the same way about her, and she wasn't sure how she could change that at this point in their relationship.
She'd had no trouble getting suitors when she went to London, but she didn't think her old tactics would work on Philip. For one thing, it would be hard to convince him she was a pretty, delicate young woman now that they had lived together for two years. When she was in London, she might have flashed a little ankle, or leaned down to expose the nape of her neck – that really got the young men going – but Philip had seen her in various states of undress and dishevelment already, and it had had no effect.
She had a moment of absolute horror when she remembered that he had seen her during childbirth – how was she to convince him she was attractive after that?
Besides her physical presence having no effect on him, she had the added problem of her personality. She knew she wasn't always the most agreeable person, and she had been able to hide that from her suitors in London. She had made an effort to laugh, and make the simple, stupid little comments that men loved. In all the time she had known Philip, she had never tried to make him feel superior. She had barely tried to be civil to him most days.
She couldn't just change her behavior towards Philip all of a sudden. If she suddenly started throwing herself at him, he would probably be suspicious of her more than anything else.
She would have to take baby steps.
She thought of things she could do to be more attractive, but she had trouble implementing them. She thought of dressing up more, but she wondered if Philip would find a change of wardrobe strange. On further thought, she realized he probably wouldn't even notice the effort at all.
She tried being kinder to him. She asked him questions, tryed to get him to talk about himself more – it was a tactic that never failed in London – but he'd inevitably turn it back on her, and more often than not they would end up talking about some element of the law. She had been working her way through the legal books in the sitting room, as best she could with her limited time. Mostly she did it so that she could be more useful in the office, and understand what was going on, but part of her thought it might help her get closer to Philip.
Most days he was kept busy working on Mrs. Abernathy's case, and with keeping the other business in town going. It was a lot of work for one man, now that Mr. Locke was not around to help, and Philip started work early and finished late. Marina helped as best she could with drafting documents, but she had a child and a household to take care of as well and couldn't do as much as he needed.
"Have you thought about finding another partner?" Marina asked him over tea one afternoon. She had brought him food in the office, and seeing the pile of papers on his desk, and the dark circles under his eyes, she felt the need to ask.
"Another partner?" he asked, looking up at her in alarm.
"Yes. This seems like more work than one person can handle," she replied, waving an arm around the office.
"Oh… Yes, a partner… Well, once Mrs. Abernathy's case is settled, there will be far less work to do."
"Or you'll have even more women coming to you for divorces…"
Philip smiled a little at the thought. "I'm going to get a reputation."
"Oh, you already have one." Marina laughed and headed back into the house.
They soon had the Abernathy case documents compiled, and Philip was to make a trip into London to present them to a judge. He was hoping to get a quick court date and have the matter settled, without giving Mr. Abernathy too much time to find out about the proceedings in advance. Philip was worried about what Mr. Abernathy's reaction to the news might be, that he might become violent.
The night before Philip was to go to London Marina lay awake, worrying over how the judge would receive the documents. There weren't enough divorce cases that had been settled before to establish a good precedent for Mrs. Abernathy – the judge could easily decide to dismiss her suit if he wished.
The light in Philip's room was still on as she tossed and turned in bed. Eventually, fearing she would never sleep anyway, she got up and knocked on the door. At his soft invitation she went in.
He didn't even get up when she entered – too busy re-reading all the documents they had compiled from the looks of it. His hair was a frazzled mess from his continually running a hand through it.
Marina sighed. "I don't think there's anything you could do to change those at this point anyway…" she said.
"I just want to make sure I know all the relevant details, that I am presenting the strongest case possible," he said, not even looking up from his reading.
Marina moved closer and looked as well. She didn't know what would convince a judge to allow Mrs. Abernathy's divorce though, so she didn't know what she would even look for in these pages of Philip's cramped writing. "You've done the best you can. I'm certain it will go well tomorrow," she lied, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder. She had no idea if it would go well – that was what kept her awake tonight as well.
Philip nodded and continued reading, barely acknowledging her. Marina stayed beside him for a moment, enjoying the solidity of his shoulder under her hand. He didn't pay attention to her, but at least he didn't pull away from her touch.
Finally she sighed, recognizing that there was no getting through to him like this. "Don't stay up all night," she told him, stepping away. "You'll be no good in front of the judge if you can't keep your eyes open."
Philip looked up finally, just as she reached the door. "I'm sorry - was there something you needed?" he asked, just now realizing that she had come to him.
"No, I…" There was something she needed from him, but he wasn't prepared to give it to her. "I just came to check on you. I'm nervous about Mrs. Abernathy's case as well."
He nodded. "Ah. Yes. Thank you with your help – whatever happens tomorrow, you did good work for her."
Marina blushed pleasantly. "Thank you." She turned to the door and blurted out, "I'm not going to lock this door anymore." As soon as she said it she winced. Of all the ways she could have expressed the sentiment – she had done it in the least romantic way possible. She looked over her shoulder at him, wondering if he had even heard her.
He was staring at her blankly. Clearly, he had not understood her words to be an invitation. She berated herself for being so clumsy about it – and him for being so obtuse.
"In case you need to come in to see Celeste," she fumbled. "If I don't answer…" She felt her cheeks burning and quickly went into her own room before he could reply. She jumped into her own bed, cursing herself. Where had her finesse gone? She had had all the men in London wrapped around her little finger with a laugh and a flutter of her eyelashes, but now she couldn't even invite a man into her bed without looking like a fool. She buried her face in her pillow and growled in frustration. Well, now she had something else to keep her awake all night.
She turned and stared at the door handle to Philip's room. Would he ever understand her? She sighed. Probably not…
She must have fallen asleep, because she woke up to the weight of someone climbing into bed with her. At first her sleep-fogged brain thought it must be Celeste, but she realized this person was too big, and Celeste was still sleeping in her crèche across the room.
She reached out in the dark, touching his face, holding his cheek as he moved closer, leaned over her.
"I didn't think you would come-"
He leaned down and kissed her, cutting off her words in the best possible way. She felt the weight of his body on top of her, pushing her down into the mattress, and she lifted her body up to his, desiring closeness.
As quickly as she wished her clothes weren't in the way, they were gone. She reached her arms around his back, feeling his skin against her own, heating up to the feel of his body. His lips brushed her chin, and drifted down her throat, his tongue hot against her pulse. She moaned his name as he kissed her body, and he stopped suddenly, and sat back.
"Philip?"
Marina blinked up at George, wondering how he had gotten in, and they both turned as the door beside her bed opened and Philip walked in.
"I didn't-"
Marina woke up with her pillow wet against her cheek, her sheets tangled around her body. She groaned as the sun hit her eyes and rolled her face into the pillow.
"Enough already…" she mumbled to herself. "I get it."
She pushed herself up on her elbows and looked around the room. Her eyes fell on the door to Philip's room, which was closed as usual. Clearly, no one but her and Celeste had been here last night.
She sighed and got up, Celeste starting to make little noises of annoyance from her crèche. "Good morning sweetheart," Marina greeted her, swinging her up and out of her bed. She instantly regretted expending her energy so frivolously – she felt last night's lack of sleep in her bones. She sighed again and shrugged. "Today's going to be a long day…"
"A lo-o-ong day!" Celeste mimicked.
"Yes exactly!" Marina encouraged her. They went downstairs for breakfast, but Philip wasn't there. Marina wasn't sure if she was disappointed or relieved not to see him, after last night's dream.
There was a note waiting for her on the kitchen table. 'I'll keep you informed about Mrs. Abernathy's trial. Should return in a couple days.'
Marina put the note down, a third heavy sigh escaping her that morning. "Such sweet nothings he writes," she said sarcastically to Celeste, then got to work getting breakfast ready.