Chapter 8: Heartfelt
Hello again! I just want to say I am so incredibly grateful and overwhelmed by the response the last chapter got. Thank you all so much for your lovely reviews, they always put a smile on my face. I meant to update this earlier, I got a bit sidetracked, my bad. However, I consider three weeks of waiting an improvement and I gotta say it was all thanks to your reviews that inspired my muse to keep writing. Thanks!
So, after last chapter's pretty hectic plot now it's time to slow down. We'll exchange the action for the emotion in this one, so get ready for the feels. Let the pining begin!
That being said, enjoy.
I think I might
Give up everything, just ask me to
Pay attention, I hope that you listen
'Cause I let my guard down
Right now I'm completely defenseless
For your eyes only I'll show you my heart (...)
Now you know me, for your eyes only.
~If I Could Fly
It was the dead of night by the time they hit shore after a few hours of uninterrupted rowing, and their arrival was not quite what Eugene had been expecting.
The relentless tide had deviated their course a little bit, and without any maps or sextants to help guide their way they could only rely on the constellations, a compass and the knowledge of the seasoned sailors to row their boat successfully towards Cygnus' harbor. Problem was they hadn't exactly been able to make it to the kingdom's port and instead of docking on a pier, their boat washed up quite violently ashore by the bay.
The shoreline was covered in jagged rocks that quite likely damaged their rowboat, and a few miles away a grand expand of dark woods extended along the bay. Eugene was suddenly grateful they hadn't arrived by the docks, as he was presented with the opportunity to disappear somewhat unnoticed through the darkness of the woods and he promptly seized his chance.
Taking advantage of the sailors' momentary disorientation as they stepped out of the boat, he grasped Rapunzel's arm and silently guided her away. She hesitated for a moment, apparently reluctant to leave the last remaining members of the crew without even a word of goodbye after they had so graciously saved their lives. But she seemed to understand the need to disappear before the crew discovered that Eugene hadn't been hired by anyone to be part of the crew once they reported to their superiors, and so she reluctantly followed behind him as both stealthily disappeared within the shadows of the night.
They walked through the unfamiliar forest with difficulty, not straying too far away from the bay lest they lost their way.
When the growing fog became too thick for them to see much further ahead, Eugene declared they would camp on a small clearing they had stumbled upon for the remainder of the night. Rapunzel seemed startled by the suggestion.
"Wouldn't it be better to get to the village and find shelter there?" She questioned as he scanned the underbrush looking for some wood to start a fire.
"Do you know how to get to the village?" He raised an skeptic eyebrow. Rapunzel shook her head and he tilted his own in response. "Then we'll be staying the night here."
Rapunzel's eyes darted around their dark surroundings, clearly hesitant to pass the night in the middle of the woods.
"The clearest path we can take to the village is walking along the shoreline until we reach the docks, otherwise we'll most likely lose our way through the forest." Eugene gathered some pieces of brushwood he deemed decent enough and started piling them into a small bunch as he continued. "And we cannot do that until we're sure the other sailors are no longer in the vicinity."
He looked over at Rapunzel as he carried more firewood in his arms, and a hint of exasperation mixed with slight amusement flashed within him. She was just standing there, looking almost comically bewildered and disheveled although still with the poise and grace of the perfect little princess she was, while she let him do all the work.
Eugene frowned. "Well, are you going to help me any time soon, or are you just gonna stand there and watch?"
Rapunzel startled at his words, her cheeks coloring in slight embarrassment as she rushed to collect some twigs that were entirely too little to be of any use. He couldn't fight the tiny smile pulling at the corners of his lips as he watched her fumble around, and he wondered for an instant why the sight of her clumsy movements tugged at his heartstrings instead of making him feel annoyed.
It didn't take them long to build a small fire in the middle of the clearing, and as they worked on setting the firewood in a neatly arranged pile, Rapunzel's eyes kept wandering towards Flynn... no, Eugene completely on their own accord. She watched his every move carefully, transfixed by the very intriguing man before her. She was thankful that he seemed too lost in thought to notice her staring.
She couldn't help being fascinated by him, it was as if he had gradually become an almost completely different person before her very eyes. Gone was the easily irritated man who had stolen her crown and kidnapped her just to keep her from revealing his identity. Not too long ago he would've snapped at her comments and rolled his eyes at her ditziness, now he settled for patiently explaining the reasoning behind his decisions and if she was not mistaken she could even say there was a softness in his eyes that had definitely not been there before.
Not to mention the fact that he had risked his own life to save hers numerous times during the last couple of days, first during the storm and then during their unfortunate shipwreck. Rapunzel wasn't so naive to think he'd not had an option back then. He could've easily saved himself and left her behind. Instead he had laid down his life in exchange of hers, facing the pirates without any real weapon just to grant her a few seconds to escape. She would never be grateful enough for that.
There was an understanding now between them, a bond that had been developing over the course of their journey together. Rapunzel supposed that's what happened when you shared life-threatening experiences with someone; you couldn't help but get to know them in a whole different way.
It was as if a barrier had lifted between them. His real self had been obscured to her by an invisible wall, and now it was slowly chipping away and crumbling at her feet, revealing tiny snippets of a man entirely too intriguing to her curious eyes. She wanted to know more about that new part of him, the part that was still a mystery to her. Rapunzel wanted to unravel every secret, every facet of him; why he had felt the need to change his own name, why he had been hiding behind a mask of indifference and derision when it was clear he cared for more than his own selfish needs.
She just wasn't sure how to ask.
She observed him quietly as he sat next to her over the giant root of a tree with a heavy sigh. Eugene winced as he tried to find a more comfortable position, and her eyes caught on the nasty cut on his arm, and slowly drifted to the already swelling bruise spreading over his jawbone. She felt a surge of sympathy deep within her chest. He had gotten those wounds for her, because of her, and she was quite sure that she had the ability to heal them.
If the magic of the flower that had saved her mother's life really lived within her, she could easily heal his injuries. What more did it matter that he discovered way more than he ought to about her secret abilities, he already knew enough and Rapunzel trusted him now, she knew he wouldn't try to take advantage of her. After everything he'd done to ensure her safety, she owed it to him to try to soothe his pain.
"I think I can help you with that." Rapunzel gestured toward his arm. Eugene's eyes met hers and she could detect a hint of skepticism at her words.
"I don't think there's much you can do about it." He shrugged, the hint of a smile playing about his lips. "Unless you're planning to kiss it better."
Rapunzel could feel a blush creeping up her cheeks, not sure how to respond to that. Eugene's halfhearted smirk morphed into a full smile as he let out a light chuckle. "I'm kidding. Don't worry about it, I'll be fine."
She tried to fight off a grin of her own as she extended her hand to him. "Glowing is not the only thing my hair can do, you know?"
Eugene's face instantly sobered up at her words and he leaned the slightest bit away from her touch. His eyes darted between her and Pascal in obvious apprehension. "Why is he smiling at me?"
Rapunzel gestured insistently with her hand. "I can help with your wounds."
"Don't take this the wrong way Blondie, but I'm still having a hard time getting my head around the idea of the hair thing." Eugene shifted uncomfortably as he tried to inch away from her extended hand. She realized he didn't quite trust whatever magic was involved with her hair, and she pursed her lips against a sigh. Well, she would just have to take the initiative then.
With a swift movement Rapunzel surged forward and took hold of his hand.
Eugene stiffened against her touch, eyes wide as he tried to tug away from her firm grasp. "Hey! What are y-..." He trailed off, watching in bewilderment as she wrapped a long strand of hair like a bandage around his hand.
He tried to voice his previous question again, but she only shushed him in response. She wouldn't waste time trying to explain the reasoning behind the magic, she would just show him the results and wait for the best.
A tense silence stretched between them as she continued with her task while he observed in quiet bewilderment, before he broke it with another hesitant comment.
"You know, you're being strangely cryptic as you wrap your magic hair around my injured hand." Eugene hissed in pain as she pressed the wound a little too tightly, and Rapunzel winced along with him.
"Sorry!"
She let out a dejected breath as she averted her eyes for a moment. While Rapunzel was convinced he would never use her to take advantage of her magic abilities for his own selfish purposes, she had no idea how he would react to the full extent of her powers. He was already apprehensive and he didn't even know half of it yet. What if he was too creeped out by her magic? The idea of Eugene considering her too much of a freak sent an unpleasant shiver down her spine.
"Just... don't freak out, alright?"
Instead of answering her almost plea, his widened eyes drifted between her and his wrapped hand, uneasiness clear in his gaze. She inhaled deeply, trying to quell her rising nerves as she closed her eyes.
Her voice came out in a melodious chant when she worded the rimes to the ancient incantation, as if her memory could recall them since times immemorial. She could feel a familiar warmth spreading within her while she sang, the golden glow shining behind her closed eyelids as her hair lit up little by little. She didn't feel any surge of power, there was no telltale tingling beneath her skin or a shiver down her spine that could tell her if the magic was working. She could only feel warmth, as if the rays of sunshine were kissing her skin. When the glow slowly faded away and the coolness of the night air enveloped her once more she opened her eyes.
Saying that Eugene was flabbergasted by what he'd just witnessed would be an understatement. Rapunzel watched with bated breath as he took a hesitant look at his previously injured arm. His shirt was still torn and tainted with dried blood, but there was only smooth skin where it had once been lacerated in a deep gash, not even a single trace of the angry red that had surrounded the wound. Wide eyed and mouth agape he slowly lifted his free hand to trace across his cheek and jawline, clearly noticing the lack of pain and swelling as he touched his face.
Eugene's obvious astonishment quickly transformed to a mounting trepidation as he unwrapped his hand from her hair with shaking hands. Rapunzel bit her lip in anticipation, not liking the hint of fear glinting in his eyes. His mouth opened and closed, clearly trying to choke back a terrified scream once he uncovered his hand only to find his wound completely gone.
It was obvious he was trying to control his rising panic, but when the shallow intakes of breath he took escaped his lips in a faint croak Rapunzel knew he was fighting a losing battle.
"Don't freak out!" She all but shouted, arms outstretched and face scrunched up in a grimace. It was enough to make Eugene swallow back the scream he was about to release, and she watched him as he sputtered and fumbled for words for a second, trying to regain his bearings.
"I-I'm not freaking out- are you freaking out?" His voice came out an octave higher than usual, a clear indication that he was, quite frankly, scared out of his mind. "No, I'm just very interested in your hair and the magical qualities it possesses. How long has it been doing that exactly?"
Eugene's uneasy smile wasn't fooling anyone, much less when he seemed to curl up into himself as though trying to control his impulse to jump as far away from her as possible. His reaction made Rapunzel's heart drop with a slight pang, but she pushed those feelings aside as she forced a small smile into her face.
"Forever, I guess." She answered, not able to prevent her fingers from clutching a strand of golden hair in that telltale nervous gesture of hers. "Although l only figured it out not long ago." She wasn't quite sure she wanted to tell him that she had actually discovered the extent of her abilities after he had kidnapped her. Not that he could really blame her for keeping that information to herself. Only now she didn't really have a reason not to trust him with her most precious secret.
Rapunzel let out a shaky breath. She might as well tell him the whole truth. "My parents say when I was a baby, someone tried to cut it, they wanted to take it for themselves." She tilted her head and removed the strands of blonde hair hiding the single short brown lock at the nape of her neck. "But once its cut it turns brown and apparently loses its power. When that failed they tried to kidnap me."
Obviously that had been a futile attempt, but it had been the root of all her problems. That single lock of hair had costed Rapunzel her freedom, the chance to explore the world outside the palace walls. Her parents had their reasons of course, they had been ingrained in her head since she was old enough to talk.
"A gift like that, it has to be protected. That's why my parents never let me..." she trailed off with a deep sigh and turned her head away from him, somewhat embarrassed to admit just how sheltered she had really been all those years. Sure Eugene already knew to an extent, but he didn't know just how much she ignored about the life outside, out in the real world were the Royal Guards weren't trailing her every move the very few times she had been allowed to visit the village. "That's why... I never left and..."
"You never really left the palace." He finished for her, and she wasn't sure if the softness in his voice came from pity or understanding but it was there, that hint of something achingly familiar, like he could finally understand her yearning. Like he could finally see her completely, without masks, without secrets. "That's why you were so desperate to leave Corona, that's why you forced me into all of this."
Rapunzel chanced a look at him, expecting perhaps exasperation at her stubborn whim, the kind of cold annoyance he used to regard her with when they first met. But when she looked at him all she saw was a man very different from the one she had once known. Understanding softened his features, and in his eyes she could only notice a deep compassion that definitely hadn't been there before. Eugene looked at her without judgment, without his once usual prejudice, and in that moment she felt compelled to spill more of her heart to him.
"I just needed to know what it felt like, if only for a little while, to be free of the palace, free of the tutors and the royal court and all those expectations hanging over me." She turned to look at him fully, and it was like the feelings she had repressed around others for so long were spilling out of her without control. "I wanted just one chance to explore the world outside Corona, to see what it is like beyond the palace walls, to be just myself, just Rapunzel and not the Crown Princess of Corona." And she wanted to enjoy that feeling, however short lived, to be able to have it in her memory when she inevitably had to go back to her perfect prison.
Eugene said nothing, the light of the fire played around his face casting shadows and igniting hints of amber in his brown eyes, but he only looked at her, unmoved. She was a little worried at his silence, but a small part of her felt oddly grateful; no one had ever really let her speak her mind without interruption. He seemed to be patiently waiting for her to elaborate. And so she did.
"I'm well past the age not to be suitable for a betrothal." Rapunzel continued, feeling the need to voice her worries now that she had the chance. "The council has been pushing for an engagement for the last couple of years and there's only so much my parents can do before they are forced to arrange a marriage for me. They were actually planning on it before..." She trailed off with a vague gesture of her hand.
"I needed to take the chance to see the world beyond Corona before that happened. I know as soon as I get back they'll want to marry me off, and then it really will be over. Any kind of freedom I might have had... well..." Any chance would be gone by the time she married; her freedom, her free will, her dreams. All of it would belong to her husband. In a world like the one they lived in, a woman had very little choice into what she could make out of her life, and being a princess was no exception. She was meant to rule a kingdom, but still be ruled by her husband. So much so that she couldn't even be crowned queen unless she was already married. That was the way of the world.
Rapunzel sighed heavily, her shoulders slumping in a defeated stance. Eugene frowned, contemplating her situation in the quiet of the night. After a few moments of silence he finally spoke. "And you're still gonna go back?"
"No!" She stated firmly, the word coming without thought. That was her heart's desire, to never return to that life. But a single moment later her reason told her otherwise. "Yes?"
Rapunzel slumped further with a faint groan, her frustration with her situation escalating with every passing second. "I have a duty to my parents, to my kingdom. My people need me, I am the only heir to the throne. I can't just leave and disappear forever." That would be incredibly selfish of her wouldn't it? It was already enough that she had taken advantage of her kidnapping to have this misguided adventure. She had to go back, any other plan wasn't an option. That was what her conscience forced her to do, however her heart was another matter.
"But I don't want to go back to that life. I don't want to get married, not yet, much less to a man I don't even know let alone love!" She didn't want to lose this freedom now that she had gotten a taste of it. Rapunzel buried her face in her hands, her feelings too conflicted to make much sense. "It's complicated."
Silence settled between them with only the sputtering of the fire next to them to interrupt the stillness of the night. Rapunzel took a moment to soothe her frayed nerves, a bit worried that she had overshared and now Eugene would be even more weirded out than before. But she pushed the nagging feeling to the back of her mind, she needed a distraction from her troubled state of mind and now seemed as good a time as any to bring up the subject that had been hanging in the tip of her tongue for hours.
Taking a deep breath, she pushed her hair back as she glanced at Eugene curiously. "So... Eugene Fitzherbert, huh?"
He seemed to have been in some sort of trance, too engrossed looking at her contemplatively. But a soon as her question registered in his mind his whole demeanor changed completely.
"Ah, yeah well... I'll spare you the sob story of poor orphan Eugene Fitzherbert, it's a little bit of a... it's a little bit of a downer."
The soft smile that had played at Rapunzel's lips vanished in an instant, a feeling akin to dread setting in the pit of her stomach. "Orphan?"
His eyes met hers, and for a moment she thought he would shut her out, just like he had done every time she had tried to ask about his personal life before. He blinked a few times, perhaps contemplating if he really wanted to disclose a part of his backstory to her. "Not everyone is lucky to be raised by loving parents, Blondie."
Eugene averted his gaze then, focusing on the embers of the fire before them, and she thought that was that, he wouldn't be telling her anything more about his past. But as she shifted closer to him in an attempt to offer any semblance of comfort, he spoke again, his voice distant and calm.
"My mother was a chambermaid, she worked at some grand noble manor before I was born. And my father... well my father was a highborn idiot, the only noble thing about him was the title to his name." Eugene shrugged and Rapunzel tried to hide her sharp intake of breath. She had not been expecting that revelation, to say the least, and her mind reeled at his confession. If that were to be true, then Eugene was... he was...
"People like me, bastards, we aren't taken quite well in society as you might know." He spoke with a rueful grin. "I assume my father, as most noble men do, liked to fool around with whoever struck his fancy and take no responsibility for it whatsoever. As soon as he found out my mother was with child he cast her out."
"Of course, I wouldn't have known anything about this had my mother not been forced to tell me at some point." Eugene continued, his eyes unfocused, his gaze unseeing as he recalled distant memories of his past. "I couldn't have been older than five when she fell ill. With a child out of wedlock to take care of, work wasn't easy to come by. I suppose she did the best she could but..." He shook his head, seemingly too lost in thought and Rapunzel was utterly transfixed by his story.
"There was no money, no food, and she just kept getting worse. It was her last resort, going back to the noble manor and taking me with her." He frowned, a shadow falling over his face as he continued. "She told me everything although I was too young at the time to really understand much of what was going on. She begged for an audience with the lord of the house, he wouldn't even see her."
Rapunzel felt a pang deep within her chest at the thought. She pictured the desperate woman, begging for any kind of help, however meager, and a small boy too young to understand the cruelty of the world around him. A boy with soft brown eyes and a mop of silky chestnut locks, still too innocent and unmarked. And she mourned for them.
"I suppose there wasn't much she could have done after that." Eugene sighed heavily, his shoulders sagging with the motion, his eyes downcast. "She dropped me at the orphanage soon after without even a goodbye. Never saw her again. I can only assume she died not much later."
Rapunzel felt an ugly knot in her stomach and she swallowed the lump in her throat with no little difficulty. Suddenly everything made sense, she felt as if a curtain had lifted to reveal the real scene that had been hidden from her all this time. His apparent disdain and prejudice against any kind of highborn person, his snide remarks at her expense, the way he had talked about nobles and their selfish view of life, all of it made perfect sense now. And she felt horrible for having ever prompted the conversation.
"Eugene I'm... I'm so sorry." Rapunzel didn't even know how to express her deep sorrow, but he waved her off with an apparently carefree gesture.
"Don't be. To be honest, I don't even remember much of her." Eugene shrugged, the corner of his lips curling sardonically. "And I never met my father, I don't even know anything about him other than the fact that he was noble and a real asshole."
He seemed to be oddly calm as he discussed the topic with her, and she thought that perhaps he now trusted her just as much as she trusted him. As she watched him stir the firewood a little to reignite the flame that had started to die, Rapunzel felt conflicted. She wanted to know more, unravel more of his past, of his essence. She wanted to discover what made him who he was; an utterly confusing and intriguing man to her eyes. But she didn't want him to relieve any more painful memories.
She supposed she could settle for a simpler question this time.
"So, why Flynn Rider then?"
Eugene looked at her with an unreadable expression, seeming to be carefully considering if he wanted to tell her more. Rapunzel worried for a moment that she had pushed a little too much but there was no hint of recrimination in his eyes, so she scooted a little bit closer to him and rested her chin over her hands, indicating that she was more than ready to listen.
That earned her a soft chuckle from him, so she really considered it a victory.
"There was this book, a book I used to read every night to all the younger kids. The Tales of Flynnigan Rider; swashbuckling rogue, richest man alive, not bad with the ladies either - not that he'd ever brag about it, of course." He spoke animatedly, and she noticed a genuine spark of joy in his eyes as he relieved the childhood tale. Rapunzel couldn't have fought off the smile curling up the corners of her lips even if she had wanted to. Seeing him talking so vividly stirred an unexpected feeling of tenderness deep within her chest.
It was clear this Flynnigan Rider was the embodiment of everything Eugene had wanted to be as a little boy. And as she watched his deep brown eyes come alive at the memory of the book, she couldn't help but picture that little boy excitedly talking about his hopes and dreams.
"Was he a thief too?"
"Ah... well no." Eugene deflated a little, averting his eyes as shame clouded his features for a moment. "Actually, he had enough money to do anything that he wanted to do, he could go anywhere that he wanted to go, and-and for a kid with nothing... I don't know... it seemed like the better option."
Rapunzel felt a surge of sympathy welling inside her as she contemplated his hunched up frame. For a moment she thought they weren't much different. He was just like her; a lost and conflicted soul with an impossible dream, whose situation in life just put up insurmountable hindrances on the way to happiness. For the first time she felt a kindred spirit in him and she smiled at the thought.
"You can't tell anyone about this, okay?" He interrupted the silence leaning closer to her, snapping Rapunzel out of her thoughts. "It could ruin my whole reputation."
"Hah! We wouldn't want that."
"Well a fake reputation is all a man has."
They both chuckled amicably before she softly contradicted his statement. "That's not true. You have Pascal and me now too. Right Pascal?"
Her reptile friend nodded good-naturedly at her question, surprising Rapunzel more than a little bit. She smiled brightly at Pascal's long-awaited approval and glanced back at Eugene, who seemed somewhat taken aback by her words. She was suddenly very aware of his proximity.
She hadn't noticed that during the course of their conversation they had gravitated towards each other, and now sat so close together that she could almost feel the heat of his body against her skin. She couldn't bring herself to care though, as she almost got lost in his intense stare. His deep brown eyes locked with hers, and she felt as though he could see right through her and deep into her soul.
Rapunzel felt hypnotized, he was like a magnet pulling her in and she wanted nothing more than to lean toward him and close the already small gap between them. And perhaps she would've done so, had he not snapped out of his reverie first, breaking the charged atmosphere between them.
"Right." Eugene averted his gaze and rose to his feet in a swift move, as if he had been burnt by the root he had been sitting upon. "Erm... Well I should uhm... I-I should- I should get some more firewood."
Rapunzel watched his retreating form and something like disappointment clouded her previous good mood. She couldn't understand what had prompted such a reaction from his part, why he seemed to be fleeing from her when they had been speaking in such good terms. Perhaps he had felt self-conscious after sharing so much of his history with her?
"Hey!" Rapunzel called, unable to stop herself. She felt a little pathetic for wanting so much for him to stay, and she quickly came up with a good enough reason for having called for his attention. "For the record, I like Eugene Fitzherbert much better than Flynn Rider."
She resisted the urge to wince. Had that been a little too forward? But her words were sincere and she felt compelled to tell him just how much she valued his real self much more than his fake persona. Flynn Rider had been her kidnapper and then her reluctant ally, but Eugene Fitzherbert was so much more, much better. Eugene was special, much too special.
Eugene however didn't seem to agree too much. He lowered his gaze, and looked at his hand contemplatively for a second before answering. "Well, then you'd be the first, but thank you."
And with that he disappeared into the darkness of the woods, leaving her alone with her conflicted thoughts and the oppressing silence of the night.
"I like Eugene Fitzherbert much better than Flynn Rider."
Her words echoed in his mind and Eugene felt like pulling at his hair in complete desperation because he really didn't know how to make them stop. The situation had been bad enough before she uttered those words, and now they seemed to haunt him just as much as the sight of her sincere green eyes.
He had completely given up on his pretense of looking for more firewood, that had been a clearly poor excuse just to get as far away from Rapunzel as possible. Why would they even need more firewood? There was enough in their campfire to last them the whole night. Luckily for him Rapunzel had seemed too distracted to protest.
As he walked aimlessly through the dense woods and let the darkness of the night envelop him in shadows, his thoughts wandered to places he would rather leave out of his mind.
He just needed a few moments to gather his wits and snap some much needed sense into himself, because the way things were going... no, it just wouldn't do.
This was the exact reason why he never dealt with feelings, they just got in the way much too inconveniently. Flynn Rider knew that, he'd been quite successful in repressing any kind of unwelcome surge of sentimentality over the years.
Eugene however...
Eugene felt himself in very imminent danger. Because for the life of him he didn't seem to be able to push back the avalanche of feelings that were suddenly assaulting him. It was as if as soon as he had opened the door to his past everything had come toppling over him in an overwhelming stampede that threatened to crush him.
He had kept that part of him -the part of him that was vulnerable and sensitive and soft- carefully hidden behind a mask of complete indifference for such a long time. Now that it was out in the open he felt like an easy target.
And for all her softness and compassion and infinite kindness, Rapunzel was a very real danger to him.
Eugene didn't know what to do anymore. He found himself unable to stop thinking about her in a very different way than he had before, and he had never had the need to repress an initial attraction to someone quite as desperately as he did now.
Because he couldn't keep denying it to himself much longer. That stirring in his chest every time she looked at him with those enormous bright eyes, and the fluttering of his heart when she did something particularly endearing, and the goosebumps on his skin every time she touched him; it was all too obvious. And all too wrong.
Eugene needed to put some distance, he needed that barrier that had been between them before back up again. He just couldn't afford to -god forbid- fall for Rapunzel.
What was he thinking?
He liked to think that he wasn't in too deep just yet, that the situation was salvageable. Perhaps it was the celibacy messing with his mind, perhaps it was the fact that he hadn't been with a woman in such a long time he now thought himself attracted to Rapunzel, of all people. He had denied himself any kind of company since he started planning the heist to steal the Princess' crown with the Stabbingtons, too focused on the preparations to have time for anything else to occupy his mind. But that had been months ago, it was only natural that his body could be betraying him now that he had been in such close proximity to Rapunzel, wasn't it?
Or maybe he had just been so emotionally starved for so long that now that someone was showing the slightest bit of kindness and sincere interest toward him he was letting it get to his head. And his heart.
Whatever the case, whatever kind of feelings he may start to have for Rapunzel, he definitely needed to put an end to all of it once and for all.
This... thing, whatever it was, that may or may not start blossoming between them needed to stop at all costs.
Because really, it had no future.
What was he expecting? Rapunzel was a princess, and not just any princess, she was the Crown Princess of Corona, only heir to the throne. She was born to be a queen, she was meant to rule a kingdom and marry a suitable prince or some other noble man worthy of her. She had said it herself just mere moments ago.
Eugene knew that, and yet the thought of Rapunzel marrying some pompous rich prince against her will made a knot tighten in his stomach and his fists clench.
And there he was again, experiencing feelings that he had no business having. He really had to stop this foolish behavior.
Rapunzel might say she liked Eugene Fitzherbert, but Eugene was virtually nothing, he was no one, he had no past and he really didn't have a future to speak of. He was a lowborn bastard, an orphan, a thief - the most wanted thief in all Corona, he was a criminal. In any other circumstances he wouldn't even have the right to speak to Rapunzel, let alone be constantly in her presence.
Eugene might have dreamed of having a castle of his own and enormous piles of money, but even if he had managed to achieve that dream, it wouldn't have erased the fact that he was, to all intents and purposes, a nobody. Poor orphan Eugene Fitzherbert had no right to have any kind of feelings for Princess Rapunzel of Corona. It was just not mean to be, and he would do well to remember that.
He had been far too distracted with his own thoughts to notice where his feet were carrying him, and he suddenly found himself standing before the shoreline of a small lake. He seemed to have walked for a long while now, trying too hard to forget, to repress any kind of unwelcome emotion.
The reflection of the moon shone brightly over the rippling surface of the lake, and the crystalline water looked entirely too inviting. Eugene took a careful look at his surroundings, confirming that he was in fact very much alone and quite far away from the campfire where he had left Rapunzel.
He hesitated for an instant, thinking that perhaps plunging into the unknown depths of the dark blue waters of a lake in the middle of the woods wasn't the best idea ever. But his mind was too clouded at the moment, and he did so hate the sticky feeling of his skin when the salt of the seawater still clung to every bit of him. He had always had a particular fondness for his grooming, and between kidnapping a princess and being cooped up in a merchant vessel and then the shipwreck, he'd had very little time for any kind of self care habit he might have indulged in before.
And he needed a distraction so bad, he felt like he was going insane.
With one last hesitant look around him he quickly shrugged off his doublet and shirt, removed his boots and pants, and once he was completely devoid of any clothes he dipped into the lake, hoping that the frigid waters could wash away the growing albeit unwanted feelings clutching at his heart, just as much as the salt still clinging to his skin.
Rapunzel felt adrift as she mindlessly stared at the tiny specks of embers fluttering in the air from the fire sputtering before her. Beside her bare foot Pascal had already succumbed to a deep sleep, so it was really just her alone with her thoughts and the faint noises of the woods.
She wasn't sure it was a good idea to be left alone with her thoughts, since they kept wandering to very confusing territory. And she didn't quite know yet if she wanted to explore them further.
However, try as she might, Rapunzel simply couldn't shake him out of her mind.
Eugene, with his frustratingly soulful brown eyes, and that often teasing smirk, and the soft expression of his face that was really a new thing to her. It all seemed too confusing.
She felt... weird thinking about him, a not entirely bad kind of weird, just the kind of weird that made her feel a bit queasy. She felt an odd fluttering in her stomach, a tingling beneath her skin, and Rapunzel wasn't quite sure yet what to attribute it to. She couldn't even pinpoint the reason why she started feeling that way to begin with.
It couldn't be his looks, really. Rapunzel wasn't blind, she knew Eugene was, objectively, an attractive guy. Way too attractive she would say, if she thought too much about it. There was something entirely too charming about him, perhaps the way he spoke or the way he carried himself. And he had charisma that was not easy to come by, she couldn't deny it.
But his handsome features couldn't be the reason why she suddenly felt... well, all sorts of bothered to be honest. No, he had always looked like that, it's not like something monumental had changed in that area. He had always been attractive, she had just denied that fact and pushed it to the back of her mind because he had been a real jerk when she first met him.
So was it his attitude then? That had definitely changed over the course of their journey together. Where he had once been all jagged edges and snide remarks he was now softer, his genuine smile coming easier than before. Eugene felt genuine, kinder, and he looked at her like he could understand her deepest desires. And when he looked at her like that she felt a shiver running down her spine.
Rapunzel had never really had a genuine friend. Well other than Pascal, but Pascal was a chameleon, so she figured he didn't really count. No, she had never had a human best friend, someone who would listen to her intently, offer advise, give her support when she needed it the most. Someone who wouldn't judge.
She had... people whom she was friendly with, like the cook at the palace and the kitchen staff, her chambermaids and lady in waiting, and her tutors. But all of them were different, they were respectful and kind because they had to be, and all of them kept their distance. They couldn't get too friendly with the Princess after all, which Rapunzel hated more often than not but that was the way things were.
Eugene however, he was different. He was not afraid to call her out when he thought her opinions were those of a privileged princess. He did not hesitate to speak his mind, he did not walk on eggshells around her like he was afraid he might offend her at any given point. He made her laugh and smile more genuinely than anyone had done in a long time. And he made her feel some kind of special, not like the crown princess that everyone else treated her as. No, he made her feel like just Rapunzel was special enough, without the titles and without the wealth and power that her name conveyed.
Rapunzel thought he could be a real friend, the first genuine one she had ever had.
Problem was she couldn't figure out if it was a common occurrence to feel your heart skip a beat when thinking about a best friend too intently.
How could she know, really? She hadn't been so close to someone outside of her family, ever. And she hadn't exactly felt herself enraptured by someone in a romantic way either. So there wasn't really any point she could compare her current situation with.
Which made her feel incredibly frustrated, to say the least. How could she know if her growing feelings for Eugene were entirely platonic and stemmed from a deep sense of trust and understanding between each other, or if they were of a different nature?
Was she feeling... dare she say, enamored? The thought made her fill with jitters.
Rapunzel supposed it was completely plausible, Eugene was after all a very handsome young man, much more attractive than any other male she had encountered in her life, and way more charming and interesting than any stuffy arrogant noble suitor her parents had tried to shove her way. The thought of some kind of small infatuation from her part wouldn't be so far-fetched, perhaps.
And maybe, just maybe, he liked her too.
She shook her head, trying to get rid of the ridiculous idea.
But what a silly thought. That Eugene could like her in that way? It was demented! Why would he ever look at her like that? Clumsy, ditzy Rapunzel, too gullible, too soft and sheltered, what sort of appeal could she possibly have to him?
Eugene could have any woman he wanted, much more beautiful and attractive than she could ever hope to be.
Besides, she knew what sort of impression she gave to other people. She'd heard enough whispered conversations between the ladies of the court; silly Rapunzel with her head always in the clouds, daydreaming all the time, no poise, no grace, with her too freckled cheeks and her too wide eyes. Always too energetic, too enthusiastic about everything, she had no qualities of a well bred lady. She would never be suitable, what man would ever want her for a bride?
That's what they said behind her back, thinking she would be too distracted to ever notice. Once upon a time that knowledge hadn't felt so bitter in her chest. She had had no desire to ever impress any kind of suitor, and Rapunzel knew she would never be like all the other noble ladies, with their graceful smiles and aristocratic features, all elegance and impeccable manners. She had always felt like an outsider amongst them.
Now, however, her complete an utter lack of allure made her feel weirdly inadequate.
It was true, what man could ever want her? She had not a single quality that would make her remotely attractive, much less to a man like Eugene.
And besides, Eugene of all people would never look at her that way. The man who held a very deeply rooted dislike for any kind of highborn would sooner be infatuated with her crown than with her, probably.
Oh... right. The crown.
She was forgetting herself. That crown was the sole reason why he had accepted to be her guide in the first place. He wouldn't even be here otherwise. He had said it before, his only concern was the crown, kidnapping her had been a mistake, and he had no interest in furthering their relationship into anything more than allies.
Rapunzel supposed that after everything they had been through together -shared trauma and near-death experiences- they could be called friends, but wishing for anything more than that was just plain ridiculous on her part.
And she would rather settle for friends than ruin whatever budding platonic relationship they were starting to develop.
After reaching that somewhat bittersweet conclusion, Rapunzel noticed that Eugene was in fact taking too long to return. He had left what felt like an hour ago. How long could it possibly take to gather more firewood?
Dread started welling at the pit of her stomach. What if something had happened to him? They didn't know what hid within the woods, he could be in danger and she wouldn't know.
Rapunzel was a bit reluctant to leave the campfire, but there was really no way Eugene could be taking more than an hour to collect more firewood. She needed to find him.
Biting her lip in a nervous gesture, she ventured in the direction she had seen him disappear before. Darkness enveloped her as she treaded farther into the woods, hoping that she would run into him at some point, or that she could manage to track him in case he had gotten lost.
She payed close attention to her surroundings, walking in a straight line as she tried to memorize the trees and look for hints of footprints or disturbances in the thick underbrush of the forest ground.
As the minutes passed, her mounting trepidation started to morph into real panic. She felt like she had walked for miles and there was no sign of Eugene anywhere near. Rapunzel didn't want to call out his name, in case she managed to attract the attention of some threat instead.
After what felt like ages, the faint sound of sloshing water reached her ears. Curious, she walked silently toward what looked like the shoreline of a small lake. Her eyes needed a moment to adjust to the darkness of the night, and before she focused on the rippling water she noticed an irregular lump on the ground.
Upon closer inspection she realized the lump was actually a small pile of clothes, and a pair of all too familiar boots. Her brow furrowed, and her eyes slowly traveled from the discarded clothes to the dark waters of the lake before her, almost unconsciously.
Her breath caught in her throat at what she found.
Rapunzel bit her lower lip trying to swallow a startled gasp, and she felt a deep blush bloom in her cheeks and spread through her entire body. She was suddenly grateful for the darkness of the woods and the thick foliage of the bushes surrounding her that kept her mostly hidden from view.
There he was, Eugene, looking like he had not a single care in the world as he bathed quite leisurely in the crystalline water, seemingly stark naked.
The lake didn't seem to be too deep, for the water reached just below his hips, and she watched with wide eyes, completely frozen on the spot, as he cupped a bit of water in his hands and splashed it over his head, his eyes closed in relaxed bliss. The droplets fell over his skin and her hypnotized gaze couldn't help but follow the rivulets of water traveling down his well toned chest past the muscles of his abs and disappear below his navel only to return to the surface of the lake with a slight splatter.
A strange warmth spread from the pit of her stomach to the tips of her toes and enveloped her entire body, and Rapunzel was sure she would spontaneously combust from embarrassment right there. She instantly averted her wide eyes, too mortified to keep looking despite the voice in the back of her head that told her that the sight hadn't been quite so bad.
Oh how she wished she hadn't stumbled upon this.
She couldn't have looked for more than ten seconds and still she was sure the sight would be forever ingrained in her mind.
This was all so, so wrong.
Without another thought, she darted back the way she came from as fast as her feet would carry her, hoping that she had been quiet enough so as to not alert Eugene of her presence.
Before long she was back in the campfire, and she was sure her cheeks would never go back to their normal hue after this accidental invasion of privacy.
Rapunzel had no idea how long she stood there rooted to the spot next to the fire, her body completely rigid as she tried to rid her mind from the images assaulting her conscience. She should not have seen that, this was the height of impropriety. Of all the scandalous and utterly inappropriate things she had already done, stumbling upon thatwas the worst by far. It was even worse that there was a distinct tingling beneath her skin mixed in with all her embarrassment.
Okay, so maybe there was the slight possibility that her budding feelings for Eugene were not entirely platonic.
Good heavens, how was she ever going to forget about that?
"So, hey uh, can I ask you something?" Eugene's distant voice startled her, making her almost jump out of her skin. Rapunzel had been so caught up in her thoughts she had not even heard him approaching. "Is there any chance that I'm gonna get super strength in my hand? Because I'm not gonna lie, that would be stupendous."
His voice got clearer the closer he approached and she felt the air leave her lungs. She didn't trust her voice enough to answer him, and she stood frozen on the spot with her back to him. She didn't want to face him, not yet. If she turned to him the images of his naked torso would assault her mind all over again and then the embarrassment would be too overwhelming and she would surely die. She would feel herself burst like a bubble and die.
How could she ever look him in the eye again? This was so utterly humiliating.
Eugene seemed concerned by her lack of response, though.
"Hey, you alright?"
"Oh! Sorry, yes." Rapunzel replied airily as she reluctantly turned to face him, trying to convey a sense of easiness she definitely lacked at the moment. "Just... uhm... lost in thought, I guess."
She prayed to every deity that would listen that he would not notice her blushing face. If he noticed something weird however, he didn't show it. Eugene didn't appear to be overly concerned about her answer, he was the epitome of nonchalance. He was fully dressed now, obviously, and seemed fresher and more relaxed than he had been in a long time as he carried a pile of the firewood he had claimed he would collect before.
But of course he would be carefree, he had no idea she had accidentally spied on him while he bathed in the lake. She could feel her throat close up all over again.
Eugene shrugged indifferently as he continued with what he had been saying before, setting the firewood on the ground and adding a few pieces to the almost dimming fire. "I mean because here's the thing; superhuman good looks, I've always had 'em. Born with it. But superhuman strength! Can you imagine the world of possibilities?"
Rapunzel forced a smile into her face that she was sure looked more like a grimace, while Eugene kept blabbing about something or other she couldn't bring herself to pay close attention to. He seemed chattier than usual, but she attributed it to his unusually perky mood.
As she averted her gaze she tried to quell the rising swell of emotions in her chest that stubbornly refused to let up. She couldn't risk letting her growing infatuation to him show.
Rapunzel could only hope it was a thing of the moment, and that everything would wash away come morning.
If only it were that easy.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. These two have a long way to go. On another note I gotta say, Eugene's backstory has always been planned this way, which you can probably tell by the hints that were dropped in previous chapters. However the TV series's canon made this way more plausible surprisingly enough, by making Eugene a lost prince. So in this one he isn't exactly a lost prince, but he is of noble descent. I always thought Disney was hinting at something when they made his name Eugene.
Now, IMPORTANT NOTE: I've been thinking about changing the rating to M, however I'd like to know your opinion before. So what I'm basically asking is: yes or no to very mild smut? It probably wouldn't be anything explicit either way, and since this is a slow burn romance it will still take us a bit to get there, but since the sexual tension is about to skyrocket between these two in the following chapters, I need to know if anyone would be too bothered by the change in rating. Or perhaps you would like it better? Idk, please let me know, we still got time before we get there.
As always, reviews and any comments, questions or suggestions are encouraged and deeply appreciated. You already know that the more reviews the faster the next update comes (as was proven with this one). All your comments really do help with my muse, so don't hesitate to leave one on your way out :)
Thanks for reading and hope you liked it!