CHAPTER 7: THE GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN CLICHÉ

THE GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN CLICHÉ: At its most commercial, movies flip genders for box office reasons. The main character in Rudyard Kipling's Wee Willy Winkie was originally a boy, but Shirley Temple was the leading child star in 1937, when the film got green-lighted.

At their worst, gender flips reinforce stereotypes. At their best, they challenge them. Yugi is bullied for being "unmanly." But what if Yugi was a girl? What if he was meeting societal expectations instead of defying them? Would Yugi have been popular, even before mystical interventions and card game success? Or would she have been bullied, with only the reason changing?

Gender flips can make us (sometimes unintentionally) question our own assumptions. What does it say about the way women's roles are written, when some of the most three-dimensional, action movie heroines, like Ripley in "Alien," came about because an actress was cast in a role originally written as a man? What does it mean that from 1926 - 1988, "The Front Page," changed not only its title, but the gender of its main character, Reporter Hildy Johnson, depending on whether they wanted a rom com or a movie about battling buddies? Is it a hopeful sign that the 2012 - 2019 television series, "Elementary," paired Jonny Lee Miller's Sherlock Holmes with Lucy Liu's Joan Watson as platonic besties and partners, while making it clear romance was off the table?

MORAL: Some clichés are a little like "Bachelor in Paradise'' or "Love Island." You have an impulse to check out the room before admitting you're hooked.

Atem and Kaiba were barely conscious of changing worlds again. One moment they were laying in a flower strewn field watching unreal stars through half-lidded eyes, the next they were suddenly back in Domino High School, facing each other in the hallway, with no memory of ever having been anywhere – or anyone – else.

Atem shook her head. Her earrings swayed, hitting the sides of her neck. Seto's tirade jangled in Atem's ears with all the incoherent fury of a typhoon. It was hard to keep up with what Seto was ranting about at any given moment. She was furious over so many things, felt constrained in a world too small to hold her, too full of rules about how she should think and act and feel. Sometimes it all blurred together into an unending cry of pain and rage. It should have made her unattractive.

It didn't.

Atem sometimes felt the same way, determined to win a game that seemed stacked against her.

"He barely notices me," Seto said, scowling. "He's training my brother to run the company and Mokuba's five years younger." Seto shook her bangs out of her eyes. "I shouldn't be surprised. They told my mom she shouldn't get pregnant after me. I was just a kid but I remember the fights. He didn't care that he was killing her. My father wanted an heir and I didn't count." Tears started in Seto's eyes. She dashed them away angrily. "That's okay. I'll show him. I've been designing a computer system in secret. I bet he could make a bundle selling it to the military. It's an artificial intelligence system for drones and it blows anything on the market out of the water." She snorted. "Mokuba's just a stupid crybaby that needs his nose wiped for him. He couldn't do anything like that!"

"Is it worth it? People will die, Seto. And you'll be responsible!"

"Why do you care about a bunch of strangers?"

"I care about you!"

"And you don't want me to be a killer?" Seto threw her head back and laughed. Her long brown hair bounced with the force of her movement. "What do you think the family business is?"

"Hey, Atem!" Jounouchi called out, causing Atem to take a hurried step backwards. "Why are you always hanging around with that ugly beanpole?"

Anzu shoved him. "Try not to be more of an asshole than you can help."

"What gives? You were ready to tear her head off when she fouled you in basketball yesterday."

"So, you're both jerks. What else is new?" snapped Anzu.

"Maybe Atem's sick of loser dogs," Seto said, interrupting them.

Jounouchi turned back to Seto. "You're lucky you're a girl, or I'd…"

"Get your ass kicked," Seto snarled.

"Stop it, Jounouchi!" Yugi said, arriving on the scene. "My sister can be friends with whoever she wants!"

Jounouchi raised his hands in mock surrender. "Okay, okay. I was just joking, anyway."

Seto's lip curled. "Sure, you were." Seto turned to Atem. "You have shitty taste in friends and I don't mean me."

Atem put her hands on her hips. "Like you never do anything to rile everyone up," she scoffed.

"You don't get it either. I'm grabbing my future with both hands and I don't care who it pisses off – or who it kills. I'm not matching anyone's picture of who I should be. Not your friends' and not Gozaburo's."

"I do get it. It's you against the world. But why am I the exception?" Atem asked.

Seto shrugged. "I don't know. You just are."

Atem stared at Seto. She'd just defiantly announced she was fine with killing people. Atem knew she should be turned off by the constant, over-the-top drama, by Seto's blatant, selfish stubbornness, her refusal to compromise, to give in. Atem admitted with an inward smile, that if she was repelled, she was also attracted in equal measure.

"C'mon," Honda said, pulling Jounouchi away. "Why don't you quit while you're behind?"

"Yeah, you're right," Jounouchi agreed.

"I'm always right," Honda boasted. "I was right when I told you to meet Yugi and Atem every morning on the corner, wasn't I?"

"So, if I graduate, it's all thanks to you?"

Honda laughed. "That's a big 'if!'"

Jounouchi and Honda started wrestling, almost barreling into Atem and Anzu.

Anzu rolled her eyes. "Boys!" She threw her arm around Atem. "Ignore them."

Atem started to walk away with the gang. She glanced back. Seto was standing in the hallway, staring after them. It was impossible to read her expression.

Atem ducked under Anzu's arm. "I'm sorry. I never got to finish my conversation."

"No problem! Catch up with us later," Yugi said. "We'll be at the arcade. I'll save a few zombies for you!"

"Thanks! You're the best!" Atem ran back.

"Take your time!" Jounouchi called after her. "At least this way, I get to pretend I have a shot at the top spot before you and your brother start duking it out for the highest scores."

Atem pulled to a halt in front of Seto. She bit her lip. "I'm sorry I missed your birthday. I had to work at the store." They hadn't had real plans, not like a date or anything. Seto had said she'd be at the arcade, Atem had nodded and said she'd try to show up. The word "birthday" had never been mentioned between them.

Seto shrugged. "That's okay. It's not like it was a party or anything." She tossed her head. "Parties are for babies like my brother."

"I'm free this weekend, if you want to go. Just us two."

Atem laughed at the stunned look on Seto's face. She was staring at Atem, wide-eyed. Her mouth was slightly open; a faint blush colored her pale cheeks. Atem smiled. Seto had never looked more beautiful.

"I guess it's a date, then," Atem said with a smirk as she whirled and ran after her friends.

The hallway twirled with her, spinning in time with her blue uniform skirt, until it filled their entire vision, until they were back in limbo staring at the boundless blue of the sky.

"That was… unexpected," Kaiba said.

"The date? Or us being girls?" Atem asked.

"Both." Kaiba's brows drew together. "The date, actually," he clarified.

The flowers surrounding them were as big and puffy as a cheerleader's pom-pom. Their saccharine-sweet pink color reminded Kaiba of their school jackets. "So, there's a world where you'd choose me over your friends," Kaiba said.

"I refused to drop you. Or them. Something I've done repeatedly in our world as well, whether you noticed or cared or not. Even when you denied our friendship, I believed in it."

Kaiba snorted. His eyes narrowed. The words "Ceremonial Duel" hung between them. He hit replay on Atem shouting, "You want to know why I didn't invite you? I didn't want you there!" as if it wasn't already on a continuous loop in his head.

Atem ground his teeth, frustrated with how they kept returning to the same place no matter how many realities they cycled through. "Don't you mean, there's a world where we dropped our masks? Where we admitted we cared about each other? Up until the moment you grabbed my arm, don't pretend you were ever honest – with me or with yourself."

"Fine. But you don't get to pretend you spent your time in Domino hanging out with me, much less trying to steal a kiss," Kaiba shot back.

"Of course, I didn't!" Atem exploded. "I was living in someone else's body! How could you forget that?"

"Because right from the start, all I ever saw was you."

Atem's mouth dropped open. There was a pause while he caught his breath. The wind whistled slightly, breaking the silence; the scent of spring and new plantings rose to greet them.

"Thank you," Atem said, quietly. "I was without a body. For so long, I didn't really have an identity – or feel like I had the right to one. Being seen… being able to believe in my own solidity when I saw it reflected in your eyes… it meant a lot. It still does." Atem looked off into the distance. "Even in that last world, I could still feel the weight of everyone's expectations." He glanced up at Kaiba. "I'm glad I asked you out."

"So am I."

They smiled at each other.

"You still had giraffe legs," Atem observed. His glance dropped to Kaiba's legs. He wondered what they looked like out of their shiny, leather sheath.

Kaiba snorted. "Those skirts were ridiculously short. I never noticed before." He frowned. "Back home, every now and then I'd ask myself: did I hate Gozaburo's weapons or did I just hate him? I was so determined to raze the corporation he was proud of, to rebuild it in my image. I'd like to think it was out of a sense of honor, not wanting my skills, my soul sold to the military. But sometimes I couldn't help wondering: what if he'd… what would it have taken…" Kaiba's grunt rumbled deep in his chest. "I guess I got my answer."

"No! You got her answer. And you don't know what she would have decided when push came to shove."

Kaiba grunted. "I wanted his approval so much."

Atem wondered which "Seto," Kaiba was talking about. "But you fought back. You're still fighting. Maybe she will too. Maybe you'll always strike out on your own, regardless of the world. Maybe you'll always try to save Mokuba…"

"From becoming like me?" Kaiba asked.

"No! From becoming like Gozaburo."

"You're acting like there's a difference." Kaiba had been trying for a sneer, but his words came out too earnestly, and far too large a plea for reassurance ran through them.

"I'm absolutely sure of it, Seto."

Kaiba nodded slowly, soothed by the use of his name as if Atem had returned it to him, freshly washed and folded.

Atem stared into the distance, then turned back to Kaiba. "Why do you think we keep going from world to world like this?"

Kaiba shrugged. "I told you. We're in a nexus that connects alternative dimensions."

Atem shook his head, wondering if Kaiba could miss the point any harder. "Why these worlds?"

Kaiba stripped the Duel Disk off his arm. "Why not? That's how randomness works."

Atem sighed. "You're so focused on the 'how,' you keep skipping over the 'why.' There's a pattern here. There must be a reason. Why now, why here? I was in the Millennium Puzzle for 3,000 years waiting for Sugoroku to find it, for Yugi to assemble it. No other time was right. And even then, Zorc didn't reappear instantly. I had two years to grow, to learn from Yugi, from you. I needed my friends. Nothing else would have worked. There was a purpose to it all, even if I couldn't see it, even if it looked like random chance. So, yes, I'm asking: why have the gods brought us here? What do we have to learn? Why have we visited worlds where we met our worst selves? Or one where we could be a little more open about our feelings…" Atem paused, thinking of Anzu, "...like the teenage girls we were?"

"Sometimes there isn't a reason," Kaiba said harshly. "Sometimes everything blows up in your face and all that's left is dealing with the aftermath. That's what I'm doing." He opened the cover of his Duel Disk.

"You're not that rigid or that unthinking!" Atem protested. "I can see you in world after world, weighing every word you've ever uttered, measuring your life against all the might have beens, wondering what each new reality says about you in some giant catalog of who Seto Kaiba is and could be." He shook his head and flopped down to sit next to Kaiba. "I made my soul into a labyrinth, impossible to navigate even by me. You're turning yours into a storage room, with everything locked in its own bin. You said your Duel Disk has endless potential. Why are you limiting yourself?"

Kaiba grunted. He stared at the guts of his Duel Disk as if seeking his answer in its depths.

"What are you doing?" Atem asked.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Kaiba said irritably.

"Praying."

"This is the opposite of prayer. The modifications to this prototype make it more responsive to the user's brain waves. It's similar to neurotechnological experiments in using the brain to direct drones and even fly planes." Kaiba grabbed a handful of pink flowers. They held their shape for a moment before dissolving into a shower of sparkling light, like a dandelion puff dispersing to the wind. "We know these change shape and color… if I could get them to do that on command, I'll be one step closer to learning how to manipulate the building blocks of this place."

"To make a bouquet?"

"To make a doorway. One that might get us out of this prison." Kaiba frowned. "I'm trying to start small."

"So, what's your first project? Kuriboh?"

Kaiba's head shot up. "Never!"

"What then?" Atem asked.

Kaiba didn't lift his gaze from his Duel Disk, but his hands stilled. "A pineapple," he muttered.

Atem laughed. "A pineapple?"

Kaiba closed his Duel Disk and laid it carefully to one side. He tackled Atem into the flowers. Atem retaliated, grabbing handfuls of blossoms and throwing them in Kaiba's face before they disintegrated.

Kaiba imprisoned Atem's hands and leaned over him. "Who's helpless now?" he gloated.

Atem bucked his hips up, rolling Kaiba off. They lay side by side amid the puffy pink flowers. "C'mon. Tell me. Why a pineapple?"

"Why not a pineapple?" Kaiba asked irritably. "It's a plant, so it's somewhat similar to all these flowers. It's a reasonable first step." He put his Duel Disk back on and stood up. Atem followed. Kaiba glanced at Atem, but there was no trace of mockery in the face turned to his. "They were my mom's favorite fruit. I haven't thought of her… I never realized… of course I would have grown taller…"

"Taller than what?" Atem asked.

"My mom. You remember that story about sneaking into the hospital to see my mom?"

Atem nodded.

"That happened." Kaiba shrugged. "Except she didn't come home." Kaiba paused, then forced the words out in a rush, "I'm glad they're alive somewhere."

"And I'm glad you got to see them." Atem stood on tip-toes and kissed him.

Atem had thought he knew every emotion Kaiba could provoke: anger, frustration, hope, friendship, pride.

And now, once again, like a final card falling into place: Desire.

But was the desire he'd found here, new? Or had it been hiding in plain sight, lying in wait for him to have a body of his own, to be eager to explore its contours, for his body to become a new world he ached to enter? "You're beautiful," Atem said.

"Which version?"

"All of them."

Kaiba leaned down. He'd wanted to steal a kiss in the Domino High School hallway. Atem reached up to cup his face in his hands, to caress him.

Kaiba rarely touched someone, except in self-defense. He'd never thought about kissing, except late at night when Atem's face came in between him and sleep, or in the shower, when Atem's face came in between him and waking. And even then, the face might have been Atem's but the hands had been his own.

He'd never expected to actually want to kiss Atem or be touched by him, except in a fantasy.

And he wasn't sure, even now, if his feelings were simply a by-product of limbo itself, of being stuck together in the ultimate escape room.

Or had limbo simply shown him exactly what he'd always wanted?

Kaiba wrapped his arms around Atem, crushing Atem to him. Atem parted his lips to let Kaiba explore his mouth, to taste Kaiba's more fully. They swayed together as if music from a school dance was thrumming in the background, a reminder that they, too, were teenagers. Even worlds away from the girls they'd briefly been, they were on the same journey.

Kaiba and Atem fell into the next world with the gentleness of a kiss ending. One moment Kaiba was embracing Atem, the next he was staring at his computer. The feel of Atem's lips on his mouth lingered, blended with the memory of other kisses, of Atem's body melting into his when he'd walked into Atem's throne room in the afterlife, of the kiss they'd shared when they'd returned, triumphant, sure that nothing could break them apart.

And in a way, they'd gotten their wish. Nothing had. Even the gods had let Atem go, the pity in their eyes making them almost human in their sorrow.

"You've been a faithful child to the gods. But there is one lesson left and only by leaving can you learn it. Go in peace. May you be able to return the same way, but you must take the same chances, face the same tests, as all who live, now." It had been a final benediction – or warning.

Kaiba had grinned in triumph.

.

Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Each chapter has included a popular "what if?" scenario that I wanted to explore, from wondering what would happen if Seto's parents had lived, to what Atem would have been like if he'd never been sealed in the Puzzle or met Yugi. Eventually I worked my way to: What if Seto and Atem were girls? As with all the alternative worlds, it was very important to me that they remained recognizably Atem and Seto. At the same time, I wanted to explore how the differences in the way boys and girls are raised might have influenced them, as well as how it might influence the way others see them. Seto is still torn between wanting Gozaburo's approval and resenting him, but now it's because she's overlooked in favor of Mokuba. Jounouchi still dislikes Seto – with good reason – but he zeros in on her looks as opposed to her behavior. And as Atem notes, they felt freer to express friendship and affection, and he realizes this is something he wants in his own life. I really wanted to explore what might change and what might remain the same.

MOVIE NOTE: Occasionally, people have mentioned looking up movies I talk about in my intros. However, Wee Willie Winkie or any iteration of "The Front Page" contain period era racism and/or homophobia. I am not recommending them.

Stay safe everyone!

SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE: I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to hear what you think. Please comment.