Authors Note: I acknowledge I have no ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210 characters or canon, the rest well yeah that's mine.
Chapter Six: New Year's Day
Just after eleven, my internal alarm clock went off to let me know it was time to dream feed Art. With the travelling, time difference and emotional conversations of the day I was exhausted. On opening my eyes I was amused to see my son still fast asleep on his Dad who had taken to watching him sleep. I couldn't blame him when Art was first born. I had spent hours watching him, amazed that I had created him. In the early days, I had been afraid to blink in case I missed something, he needed me or just in fear that it wasn't real, that this perfect human was a figment of my imagination.
"Are you planning on sleeping at all tonight?"
Dylan quickly turns to me startled by my voice. "He's fascinating. His hands are so small they can barely cover my thumb, he has little gaps of bald patches on his head especially on the back of his head above his neck, and he has about fifteen really long eyelashes on each eye." I smile. "He is incredible."
I start to unbutton my shirt, "Can you pass Mr Incredible to me as he needs his dream feed?" Dylan gives me questioning eyes as he carefully lifts the sleeping angel. Once I position him I explain, "If I feed him like this he sleeps for longer uninterrupted, it's like a little top-up. Helps him rest more."
Dylan rolls over to face me and Art, watching us both. He is the only one who has not tried to be at least discreet in his observation of my nursing. It surprises me that I haven't felt uncomfortable by his eyes on us but then again he was Art's Dad it just seemed natural to include him in every part of his care. He was also now my closest friend, we had spoken regularly since the summer, and he was the only one besides Steve and Brandon to have reached out consistently. Donna and Andrea had sent a total of two letters each, a birthday card and a Christmas card since I had left. Kelly had sent a birthday and Christmas card only. I didn't blame any of them, life got busy and well by the end of senior year the relationships were pretty strained. Subjects were off limits due to a fear of choosing sides and for Kelly, I had given only a tentative acceptance of the situation. It wasn't a forgiveness or a renewal of a friendship but it was an acceptance that we were in each other's lives we had to make it work.
Once I could feel that Art had taken enough I indicate for Dylan to sit up to burp him, I then left the room, grabbing some water and quickly going to the bathroom. When I get back in the room I pick him up from his dad change his wet diaper, and then go and put him in his cot. Dylan looks disappointed, "You need sleep and well Art can not get in the habit of sleeping in your arms or mine, he will be a nightmare at daycare if he gets used to that."
His sigh indicates that he surrenders the point and grabs the diaper to dispose of it. I've climbed under the sheets when he gets back into the room. I'm not going to ask why he had fresh sheets on the bed. Was it a hope for my visit or had Suzanne and Erica been sleeping in here? I could accept the house guests and Dylan reclaiming his bed for the night, but I wasn't willing to deal with it if they had been changed in hopes of something else happening with us today, especially as we were approaching midnight and I was tired- I'll choose to live in ignorance and not ask. He approaches the bed and looks at me unsure if he is allowed, I pull back the blanket and sheet on his side. He smiles and gets in.
We both lay on our sides of the bed facing the ceiling, from our breathing neither of us was asleep. He eventually can't stand it and breaks the silence asking about classes, days on campus and schedules. We will share one poetry class this semester but apart from that, we have two similar days and two days of differing scheduled times on campus. Dylan is thrilled as it means that he can take Art that morning and that afternoon I'm in class, and we can meet on campus to do the swap off, and on the days we have similar schedules we can carpool together. Though he refers to it as travelling together as a family. Family is his new favourite word, for a guy who has never felt like he had one of his own, I can completely understand his new obsession. When midnight hits we have rolled over and are facing each other, and he is telling me about Erica. She sounds like a nice little girl and I'm looking forward to meeting her.
Dylan notices the time and sees that it's now 1994. He gently pushes a piece of hair behind my ear and lifts my hand, laying a kiss on it and wishes me a Happy New Year. I return the sentiment. We fall asleep or I fall asleep a little while later as we talk. Sometime after four, I'm woken by my little guy, but Dylan has already leapt up and is collecting him from his cot. After calming him down he changes his diaper and then brings him over to the bed. I'm already sitting up ready to nurse, but I am still half asleep from talking for too long the night before. Once Art has had his fill I pass him back to his Dad and enjoy the luxury of dozing while Dylan takes care of him. A little after seven he wakes again and this time it's a proper wake-up call. Dylan collects him and brings him back into the bed laying him between us. We spent the next hour playing with our son together and listening to his baby garble. When the need for coffee is too great we get up. Dylan to make coffee with Art, and me to shower.
Art's morning nap is a time for us to plan the next few days. Dylan's need is clear; he wants confirmation of when he will see Art. After setting up the bank and car shopping excursions for the third and the baby shopping trip for the fourth, arranging a visit in the afternoon on the second to Casa Walsh- an insistence that it be there by Dylan. He wants Dad and the family to get used to him being a regular fixture in his son's primary residence, unless of course, I'll change my mind to come live here. I agree with the second. He then goes and leaves a message on Dad's office phone requesting a meeting for tomorrow morning. It's a Sunday but Dad has been away over Christmas so he had already planned to go in for a few hours to get on top of his correspondence before everyone else returned to work on Monday.
He is clear with me under the terms of the contract since his father's death, Dad invests on his behalf, arranges his taxes, insurances and provides a monthly allowance from his funds. If Jim is comfortable maintaining that he is happy to keep it in the interest of keeping the peace and for Dad to know Art is always going to be well looked after. The control though is maintained by Dylan with Dad merely offering investment advice, it is unlike the formal Trust he was in when we were together where Dad had the control. Dylan is a client now, Dad gets mainly paid based on the profits he generates for Dylan. He will be asking for the allowance to increase which will cover Art's living expenses, I refuse to entertain that they will cover mine well in my mind at least, and he'll arrange for money to be placed into the account for the car and shopping trip.
Dylan and I never discussed money and I have no desire to do so now but I know Dad tried to block his Trust the week I stayed here and from what I can gather there is more to the story. I also know Dad along with Iris had to agree for the Trust to be broken when Jack got released. It appears as though the Trust wasn't reinstated, a point Dylan emphasises many times. Whatever has happened between my Father and Dylan since Baja appears to have centred around my Dad's control, a control living in his house he still maintains over me. Another point reiterated by Dylan is that it is only a control given by choice not by necessity anymore. Considering I ran away from home to demonstrate that my Father didn't have that control I wonder why he believes he needs to keep pointing it out.
When the conversation gets too much I ask Dylan to stop. He has been calm throughout the discussion but the inference of bad blood between my Dad and him, that there were more things at play last year, that I was once again left in the dark about something, and the changes my life had taken in less than twenty-four were becoming too much. Dylan grows concerned and gets my blood pressure monitor. It's slightly higher than yesterday and higher than before my shower this morning. Needing a few minutes to myself I go and sit on the front steps, the back porch reminds me too much of the BBQ when Kelly looked depressed over missing my boyfriend. Ten minutes later he comes out with tea left from Iris's last visit, he says it's supposed to be calming- according to the box. He sits next to me on the steps and as he goes to apologise I stop him.
"It's okay you did nothing wrong, I'm just a little more fragile than I used to be." I knock on his shoulder and try to joke. "Enjoy it while it lasts, I'll go back to being tough as nails soon."
He looks over, "you never were." He then quietly adds, "I just forgot."
I ignore the comment and instead look around. "It's been snowing in Minnesota since Thanksgiving. Art being born a little early and then winter hitting meant he hasn't been outside more than being carried from cars to front doors. I wonder if he's going to love the sunshine as much as you. When he wakes we should bring him out here to let him have some tummy time on the front lawn." He nods. "We'll have to go home after that, I need to get my room set up for us, unpack, and return Brandon's car."
"I'd offer to help but I think…"
"You'd be too much excitement for me?"
He laughs, "Well we always had our own brand of intensity. We'll just have to introduce it slowly, and wean you back into it." I laugh this time.
"I think after the last year, eighteen months, I'm looking for more of a simple life. Less drama."
"Say's the actress."
"I'd like to keep that for class, maybe for the stage."
"Okay, a very slow wean then." I roll my eyes, it's not unusual he's been doing this since the summer. He finally got me to move back. I guess this is going to be his new plea. We are quiet for a bit but as I finish my tea he raises another matter I've been putting off. "I'll get them together, tell them. You and Art will be on campus next week. I want there to be no confusion of expectations." Art starts to cry, before I can even move Dylan is up, and as he gets to the door I stop him.
"Brandon and Steve will want to be there, it's not that they don't, wouldn't-"
He sighs, "I understand." As he walks into the house I can see he is upset even if he tried to hide it. He knows why they'd want to be there, neither would feel comfortable with leaving my care to him alone.
My son comes out and wants a mummy snuggle, "Finally I get a look in."
Dylan chuckles and goes into the house bringing out a clean blanket, he puts it out on the grass and sits down. I bring Art over and set him up for Tummy time, and then lay down and face my son. Dylan joins me. We spend the next little while playing together. It's a nice winter's morning in the LA sun, not too hot. Art loves the noises especially when Dylan gets him a leaf to scrunch. He stops him before he can put it into his mouth. When it's almost time for his next feed and nap I begin to collect our things, giving Dylan some alone time with our son. Dylan packs the car for me and then learns how to secure the baby seat. Once we are all set and he has asked me to get Brandon to call him, he leans down and kisses Art's head and tells him he loves him and to be good for mummy. He comes over and hugs me before I get in the car, reminding me to call if I need anything and that he'll phone me tonight. He holds me and I can feel him breathe me in, he whispers a thank you into my hair and tells me he loves me. I don't say anything but as he pulls away I can see his eyes are as glassy as mine.
The house feels empty without them here, I choose not to dwell on it and instead focus on cleaning out the storage room. I've made some headway by the time Suzanne and Erica return. My sister is speaking so fast telling me all about the rides, hotel, and the shows she saw. Suzanne looks exhausted. I'm guessing the theme park was only exciting for one of them.
"Erica, why don't you ask Dylan about his New Year's?"
"What did you get up to?"
It's sweet she is trying so hard to be interested but really all she wants is to continue discussing the rides. "Well, I actually spent New Year's with my family." Suzanne lifts her head and looks over at me confused. "My gir- Brenda, well she and my son Arthur, Art came to stay the night."
"You have a son?" I ignore Suzanne's shocked tone.
"I do, he's three months old today."
"Dylan, why didn't you say anything about him?"
"Bren had a difficult pregnancy and she isn't fully recovered, she only flew back yesterday morning from Minnesota where she's been living since the end of May."
"You didn't know?" My silence gives Suzanne her answer. "Dylan are you sure he's yours I mean you are a wealthy guy, girls might-"
"Suzanne I'm going to give you the same warning I gave my own mother. Brenda, my relationship with her, it's none of your business." Suzanne appears shocked by my tone but it's a non-negotiable.
Erica who has sat through this conversation without saying a word finally speaks up. "So Art is my cousin?"
I smile, "No he's your nephew. You're his only Aunt." She smiles at me, liking her new title. Suzanne is still put out, maybe she's worried that it means they'll have to leave soon. Before I can explain she can stay here till she finds a job, the phone rings.
"Hello."
"Hey, Dylan." No nicknames, Brenda must have given him my message.
"Hey, so Bren told you?"
"Yeah. When are you thinking?"
"Tonight gives them plenty of time before we are back on campus."
"The Pit?"
"Yeah."
"I'll call Steve and Andrea." Fuck that leaves me with the others.
"I'll ring the beach apartment. Eight?"
"Sounds good."
After saying our goodbyes, I hang up and quickly excuse myself to go into my room to call the beach apartment- Donna answers. When she finds out it is me she asks if I want Kelly, I tell her no I'm looking for all of them. Skipping over the small chat I ask them if they could meet me at The Pit tonight, Silver, Kelly, and her at eight. She's unsure if they can all make it but when I explain to her it's important, she agrees. Not wanting to drag this out too long I get off the phone and move back to the lounge room.
Suzanne looks a bit calmer. Maybe it was just a surprise. Erica and I spend the evening playing a board game I got her over Christmas while Suzanne runs some errands. She comes back smiling with some groceries and asks if I'll be having dinner with them, I decline the invite and instead call Bren to see about the rest of her and Art's day. We speak for a bit and I even talk to Art on the phone who squeals when he hears my voice. God, I miss them. When Art starts grumbling for food she tells me she should run and get him down for the night.
The Pit is quiet, everyone must still be recovering from the New Year's celebration the night before. I order a quick bite to eat while I wait for the others to arrive. Andrea and Steve arrive first and together, I assume as they both live on campus, then Donna, Silver and Kelly. Brandon is running late which is like his sister but not him. Steve and I are both put out by this and as the minutes tick by we both grow concerned. When he eventually comes in I quickly walk over to him, though with the quietness of the restaurant I'm aware the others can still hear. "Everything alright Jones? Nothing to worry about at home?"
"Yeah Dad decided to discuss the schedules of College, and well with the decline of the office role," he raises an eyebrow, "and then the schedule that was made this morning, he was put out by the fact that they were being left out of the decision-making process."
I run my hand through my hair. "Well, they aren't his decisions to make. So much for limiting stress, are they okay? Should I go get them?"
He's offended by the question and snaps. "If they weren't I wouldn't be here." He softens his tone on hearing the intake of breath from the table, "Look they are fine, one's asleep the other is having a bath but I'm sure you can understand why I wanted to wait till the conversation was over before coming."
"Thank you, I know you did it for them not me but I appreciate you looking out for them."
We both walk over to the tables and Brandon greets the gang. Steve's worried face tells me he heard the full discussion between Brandon and me, meaning everyone else did as well. Not wanting to beat around the bush and wanting to be ready to leave if Bren needs me I jump right in.
"Thanks for coming. I wanted to get you all together tonight before we are back on campus so you all have plenty of time to get used to some news. Brenda will be starting CU this semester. She has come back from Minnesota so that Art is close to his father and his uncle's." I then reach into my pocket and pull out a picture placing it on the table. "This is mine and Bren's son, Arthur Jack McKay." The silence is deafening, and I can feel the glare across from me. I look up to meet it. Well if looks could kill.
"What?" She's not even trying to suppress her rage.
"Not a what it's a who. His name is Arthur Jack McKay, we call him Art-"
"I call him Water King." I break my stare and turn to Steve and try to understand my son's nickname from his honorary uncle.
"She won't tell me why you do that, care to share?"
"McKay another time, it's definitely a story for when she's around."
"She blushed when I asked." He rubs his hands together and gets his sneaky grin. He's going to enjoy embarrassing her. A throat clearing brings me back to the daggers aimed at me.
"When did you sleep with Brenda?" The coldness of her tone tells me she is ready to snap, and while this is none of her business I will be honest so she has nothing to bring up with Brenda.
"End of January. He was born nearly four weeks early on the 1st of October, and today he is three months old."
"Brenda would have been four months pregnant when she left. She didn't look like it." The suspicion in her tone is confusing, the child is clearly mine unless Andrea is thinking Bren and I continued sleeping together when I was with Kelly. Seriously?! Bren is not the type to be the other woman.
As I answer Andrea, so does Steve. "No, she didn't." "Yes, she did."
I look at Steve hoping he would clarify. "She had a little pot belly, didn't she, Brandon?"
"It was tiny Steve, only obvious if she was in a swimming costume and even then you'd have had to have known she was to see it." I squeeze my fist under the table but keep my face neutral not wanting anyone to know that I'm upset by this. It's between Brenda and I. Brandon who is sitting next to me must see as he adds more, "but Dylan is right she didn't look four months pregnant she was very underweight." I jump in to clarify.
"Bren had a difficult pregnancy, was on bed rest for months, and then Arthur's birth was very risky."
"It was fucking frightening."
"You were there?" Kelly's anger has shifted to Steve, it's no secret he sided with Brenda and has moved Kelly to just one of the gang. A position she was put out by, especially as it didn't change after Brenda left.
"Yeah, Brandon and I got to hold her hands during the birth." This I knew from yesterday, and while it hurt deeply that it wasn't me I'm glad they were there for her. "And Brandon got to cut the Fish King's cord. It was awesome, but bloody frightening considering how Bren could have easily died."
"Bren nearly died?"
I look at Donna who looks upset. "Yeah, she developed a serious health condition during the pregnancy and it put her and Art's life at risk for nearly half the pregnancy. The treatment made her labor a risk but without it, it could have been worse. While she is on the mend now she still has to be very careful and can't have anything that risks her blood pressure going up, she can't have any stress."
Andrea as a pre-med figures it out, "She had preeclampsia?"
"Yes and then developed postpartum preeclampsia."
"Is her blood pressure back in the normal range?" Her future doctor tone is coming out.
"No, but her Doctor is hopeful it will be in a few more weeks."
"It's a really serious condition, she must have been so scared during her pregnancy and then for it to move into postpartum. How is she doing?" Before I can answer Andrea and complement my son's amazing mother Kelly butts in.
"When did you find out that she was pregnant? Did you know before she left, is that why you called her so much when we were together?" I don't know what shocks me more, the delusion that if I had known we would have still been dating or that she believes Bren would have left without me going with her. I am also surprised she knew about the volume of phone calls. It wasn't something I hid, Brenda is my best friend but I never called when Kelly was around. It would have been disrespectful to Bren, and honestly, I never wanted anything interfering with my time with her.
"Brenda told me yesterday and her parents Christmas Eve."
"And you are okay with her doing that, keeping that secret from you? Taking your son away from you?" Both Steve and Brandon are tense.
"Bren is not and has not taken my son away from me, she was being an incredible mother and was putting the safety of our son first. She told me as soon as it was safe for her to do so."
"And why not tell you from the start if she was so incredible?" Brandon is breathing hard and Steve is still tense but I think he suspected this from her.
"She found out the night you collapsed here on your birthday. After leaving your hospital room on the way to the car she fainted. At the time she didn't want me to have to worry about her when she felt you needed me. Her nausea made it difficult for her to eat, if Steve hadn't tried her on protein shakes Art may not have made it into his second trimester, and even then it wasn't secure. When you were better, she felt I needed time to mourn my father and she needed some peace to build up her strength." Her sarcasm aimed at a woman who actually considered her feelings put her needs first before her own even after hearing such life-altering news had pushed me to my limit. "Any more questions? Any more ways you want to try and make the mother of my child look bad?" She glares at me.
"Can we see her? Meet Art?"
I look at Brandon and then to Steve, "Donna. Bren and I have a busy few days ahead getting her and Art settled in. If she's up for it before we are back on campus we'll let you know."
"You are back together with her then? She couldn't get you to choose her witho-"
Seriously she's making this a competition, my son a strategic plan? "Don't finish that sentence. Brenda and I are not back together even though I have asked countless times over the last six months. She has decided she only wants to be friends to prioritise our son. I hope one day she'll change her mind on that but it's her choice. I'll happily wait for her to make it even if I'm waiting years."
"Have you got to spend much time with him, Dylan?" Andrea tries to cut the obvious tension and the clear indication that I made. Bren held all the cards with us, had done so even before I knew about Art, and had been where my focus was since summer, even when I was in my on, off, fight fest with Kelly.
"He's a baby McKay hog, he's rubbish at sharing." Steve's exasperation over his limited time with his nephew since his arrival in LA is clear.
"I let you hold my son yesterday."
"For only a few minutes."
"Your sister took him from you as you were laughing too much." I look back at Andrea and smile. "Yeah, I got to spend all afternoon with him, held him most of the night and then spent this morning with him. He's perfect."
"Wait, you held him for longer than fifteen minutes?" I nod at Brandon. "He won't let anyone but Bren do that." From his tone, it was clear that he was put out by my son's preference for both of his parents.
"Sorry Uncle Brandon but that rule doesn't apply to both his Mum and his Dad."
"Great."
Nat comes over to the table, "Dylan you've got a phone call?" I jump up as it's either Bren or Suzanne and I doubt that Suzanne would call me here. Walking the couple of steps to the counter I pick up the phone.
"Hey, you okay?"
"Relax Art and I are fine. I was just getting a little anxious about what was going on over there."
"You sure? Brandon briefly told me about your conversation this evening with your parents and after this morning have you checked again." Brandon and Steve glare at me. I turn my back to them and face the kitchen.
She sighs, "I'm fine."
"Baby, please?" She sighs.
"Give me a second." I can hear her moving about and start the monitor. She picks up the phone a few seconds later. "It's the same as this morning."
"Which time?"
"It's fine."
"Bren?"
"The second." I close my eyes. "Dylan it's fine, tell me it's good over there and I'm sure it will calm down."
"We have some very eager people here wanting to see you and meet our son." I won't lie to her, if trust is my roadblock to my family then she always gets the truth always. From her silence, she knows I'm avoiding saying everything is good. "Do you want me to come over? I can stay and let you get some sleep, see if Art will take the bottle from his dad at his eleven pm dream feed."
"You think you're that talented?"
I match her playful tone. "You doubt me, woman?"
She laughs, "No you two are obsessed with the other. I'm feeling a little obsolete."
"Please McKay's are preprogrammed to be consumed by you. Father like son."
She's silent for a moment, her new way of avoiding my inferences of how I feel about her. "I'm going to let you go so I can try and get some sleep. Tell everyone Happy New Year from me."
"Call me in the morning or if in the night you need anything."
"Okay."
"Baby, give Art a kiss from me."
"Will do. Night." When she hangs up I put the phone down and turn to face the table.
I'm met with eyes filled with either anger, amusement, or concern. Brandon is seesawing between the two of them, and as I'm getting used to he picks anger as the winner.
"What happened this morning?"
"Her pressure slightly increased."
"Why?"
"The same reason it's up right now." He goes to move, "She's okay, if she wasn't I wouldn't be here." I move the two feet to the table. "B honestly she's good, she's going to get some sleep now."
"Twice today." He rubs his hands through his hair.
"I've requested a meeting with Jim tomorrow at the office. We'll get our shit together, she was stuck between us for two years until I couldn't fight him anymore. I won't have my son join her there." He stares at me seeing my determination, and he finally nods. I try to make him understand I destroyed my life because of this shit before, destroyed her; neither of them will ever be stuck between Jim and me. There was no longer a choice. "You know if it's not possible my family-"
"I'd help her pack." I smile at my brother glad that he finally realises that I'm the permanent fixture in her life, even if he refuses to let it be a romantic fixture.
I turn to the others, "Bren says Happy New Year to you all."
"That was nice of your Baby!" I choose to ignore the bitterness in her tone or the fact that she dislikes my term of endearment for Bren, a term I have used for years.
"Dylan, she can't have any stress, it's that dangerous?"
"Donna it is. If you guys can't give her the calm that she deserves, that she needs then please avoid her and wait till she is better. We want her move back to be as drama-free as possible. Her health is on the line and is not something that can be messed with."
"He's right, the condition is serious- life-threatening until the body heals itself." I smile and give Andrea a nod in thanks for understanding.
I look at my watch, "I'm going to head out." I pat Steve's shoulder and then look at Brandon. "Jones?"
He shakes his head and then in a tone of exasperation answers. "If she or Art need anything I'll call."
"Thanks, Brother."