Authors Note: I own nothing. No ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210.

Chapter Thirteen: Lectures in Feminist Perspectives in Cultural Anthropology

When Art woke Dylan released his hold on me and collected him from his crib bringing him back in with us and gathering me to him once again. We had changed positions around six me claiming the space above his heart our son was currently claiming the other side. My body in its exhaustion had let down my defences and had rest soundly in… I don't even know how long. It was an indulgence I wouldn't allow myself to have again, especially if I had agreed to sleep here three nights a week. It would be a slippery slope and I could see one day us taking our friendship too far, crossing boundaries that we hadn't since January last year. It would be amazing but the the paranoia would kick in and I would be constantly trying to figure out when he would be gone again when the rug would be pulled out, and it would as I wasn't the one his actions last year had made that clear.

While I stayed somewhere between the border of sleep and awake my son decided to try his hand at hairdressing. When he began pulling a little too hard Dylan stepped in and tried to talk him into letting go, when that didn't work he tried to pry his hand open. Our son thought this was a great game and started giggling, Dylan kept trying to reason with him and that set me off. Dylan called in quits when we both were laughing at him, declaring I was on my own in rescuing my locks. When I gave Art my finger to hold he dropped the hair and played with my nail. Dylan declared that was cheating.

Once he had left for class after having brought me coffee and toast in bed, and Art was back down for his nap I read a few chapters of the female studies text. Lucinda was definitely charismatic but her theories on it being natural for woman to use their sexual power to get men to do what they wanted seemed like the opposite of equality. It seemed to me we were just taking over the man's historical role of sexualisation we were just owning the fantasy rather than it being forced upon us, either way men still received the same outcome and women still had to play a role. It didn't sit well with Andrea, Donna or myself, Kelly though had discussed the merits of Lucinda's idea after our class on Tuesday. Unfortunately, I had to leave to meet Dylan for lunch so I had missed her enlightened drivel on how it was the female choice; it wasn't my choice and I was a female. Men didn't need to use their sexuality to get ahead and play into some fantasy, stroke egos, and I was damn well not using mine.

I made it to campus with enough time to sit and have a decaf coffee and fruit before my second woman's lecture for the week. Dylan was meeting me at the Condor café for the Art swap though I was surprised when I was met with the full gang and a few of Steve's fraternity brothers, well I assumed they were due to the KEG t-shirts. When Steve saw me he went to put on his boisterous greeting but my death stare had him lowering his tone. "There's my little sister." It was his way of introducing me to his friends.

Shaking my head I move straight to Dylan who is sitting next to Brandon at the end of the table, as I finish passing him our sleeping son I look at Steve. "I'm older. I know CU thinks you're some maths genius." I raise my eyebrows having heard the story from Brandon. After the legacy key for him to cheat again so soon, it was ridiculous- lesson obviously not learnt. "But there are like seven months between October and April, if you want we can count together, you can even use your fingers."

He took no offence and hit me right back, "how does so much sass fit into someone so vertically challenged?"

"I'm just gifted that way brother." I go over and rub my blonde brother's hair.

"Hey, not the hair." I laugh as he goes to grab me.

"Tweedledee and Tweedledum-"

We both cut off the beginnings of Brandon's lecture by declaring your tweedledum and pointing at the other.

Brandon looks at Dylan who is watching us with amusement dancing in his eyes, "it's like her IQ drops twenty points being in his presence."

Before my ex can jump in I give Brandon a mock apologetic look. "Sorry Twin I didn't mean to step on your number."

"Nice. Very nice." Steve holds out his hand for a low high five.

"Worse thing about you coming home was the reuniting of the two of you." Brandon's sarcastic response is cut off by a quiet, I wouldn't say that was the worst. The tone in which she said it had three pairs of eyes instantly react and stare her down, I don't look.

"What I think they are funny together." Yeah I'm sure that's what Kelly meant and I'm sure if I looked over she'd be giving them her innocent eyes. I ignore it all and instead look to the ATM, its line is massive. I knew I should of stopped at the bank.

Ignoring the group I look at Dylan, "hey I will never get to the front of that line before class any chance you have cash on you?"

"Yeah." He gently moves so not to wake our sleeping son and pulls out his wallet, handing it over and not bothering to take the money out.

"Coffee?" He nods. "Anyone else?" I look around the group but everyone declines. As I move to the counter and order I open the wallet and see in one of the photo sleeves a small passport size picture of Art and next to it one of me, in the other sleeve is a larger picture of the four of us. Erica is holding Art on the couch and Dylan and I are sitting either side, it was taken by Steve on the first afternoon at the Walsh house. Once I grab the coffees and my fruit salad I return to the table, Brandon has moved down a chair letting me sit between Dylan and him. When I raise my eyebrow he explains.

"So you aren't sitting next to your sidekick, it will give me a little peace." Steve's bark of a laugh and pat on Brandon's back speaks volumes of what he thinks of the likelihood of that occurring.

I place the items on that table and hand back Dylan's wallet. "I'm doing that thing today for Erica before meeting Suzanne and her at The Pit for a catch-up. Want me to…" he doesn't finish he never discusses money but I know he is going to the bank and asking if I would like cash out. After buying Art's diapers and a refill on my medication at the pharmacy, cash was definitely needed.

"Yes please." I sip his coffee while he starts drinking mine thinking it's his. His disgust say's it all. I laugh and over the rim of his cup say, "decaf sucks." He raises his brow and places my coffee in front of me and holds out his hand, I steal one more sip and pass it to him, he shakes his head and starts drinking the good coffee to clear his mouth.

"That is horrid, why do you drink it?"

"I like the illusion that I'm having a second cup of coffee for the day."

As I begin eating my fruit salad and listen to Brandon discuss his chances at winning the nomination to the National Task Force, I see fingers come in and steal a red grape. I look over at the thief who with a grape in his cheek states, "what they aren't your favourite." Though he drops his butter wouldn't melt in my mouth face as Art begins to stir in his lap. He lifts him higher onto his shoulder as he begins to grizzle about being awake and about the unusual place he has awoken in. "Hey Arthur it's okay Daddy's got you." As Dylan works on soothing him I continue to eat and involve myself in the conversations at the table, though when I feel a tug on my hair I look over to see my awake son waving his hand around with my hair. I reach down and kiss my son's nose making him squeal in delight.

"Hey buddy can Mummy have her hair back?" He continues to wave his hand around not willingly to let go. I try my finger again but he is not buying that it's as good. I then decide to see if a tummy raspberry will seem more exciting. It works and his baby giggles have everyone laughing.

"Okay D hand him over please it's now time for some uncle chats." Dylan still a reluctant sharer kisses Art's head and then passes him over.

He then soothes down my hair as I resume half listening to Andrea trying to explain Lucinda's theories to Steve. He gently tugs on my hair more gently than his son and then leans in. "Did it go okay today?"

I turn and look at him. "Yeah he doesn't like the fact that my elevation is still higher than last week but he is glad it's stable. He ran some tests so I'll get the results Monday, he wants me to try and get more rest though."

"Want me to cancel our house inspections tomorrow? You can spend the day in bed." I give him a glare. "Okay the day on the couch… I'll even watch Dirty Dancing if you will watch Animal Crackers." Steve who had given up in understanding Andrea had begun eavesdropping on us, he barks out a laugh. I look at him and glare. Dylan notices, "what's so funny?"

"Nothing," is my immediate reply on behalf of the blonde stirrer.

Steve noticing my nervousness laughs again. Dylan raises his eyebrow, "come on, out with in Sanders."

"Oh it's nothing just thinking about the Fish King and what's in a name." I was going to kill him.

Dylan leans closer, "do I finally get to know?"

Steve and I respond instantly. "No." "Sure." I look at my blonde brother.

He gives me his puppy dog eyes, "sorry I promised."

I throw him one last look but eventually realise fighting is futile. "Fine it's your silly theory anyway, it's not like I read comic books."

"Now come on even if you didn't you could have changed it once I told you, you were still only seven months pregnant." I breathe deep, Dylan leans forward even further waiting for the reveal. "So Bren is on baby name number six by then, she's traveled through the unusual to the American classics. She has unfortunately vetoed Steve believing that it was too much pressure for any child to live up to this perfection." I actually snort in laugher at that, he ignores me. "So we are on the phone while she is telling me that she is thinking of naming him after her Grandfather Walsh, though she is not sure as it's a pretty big name for a kid. When she jokes that she may give him a nickname like the Marx Brother with the same name, I ask what's the name."

"Can I just interrupt here and say only you have made this connection and it's because you made me-"

"You already knew-"

"As I was saying you made me look up each of the gangs names in the baby book along with your favourite coed's names, and you are the one that remembered what Dylan's meant two weeks later."

"Of course I did it's hilarious."

Dylan trying to follow Steve and my banter butts in, "what's funny about my name?"

"You love the water dude, you are literally named after the Welsh god of the sea and Arthur's named after Aquaman the comic book god of the sea."

I put my head in my hands and hide my blush behind my hair. "It's after my grandfather-"

"Yeah, I think the comic book reference sealed the deal."

"And I think you're cracked." I look at Dylan who is smiling. "The idiot has been collecting Aquaman comic books ever since." My tone is clear exasperation.

Steve then looks at my son, "Aquaman is blonde and muscular just like me, Art you can aspire to this physical perfection to, you don't need to be skinny like your dad or short like your mum." He tickles my son as I shake my head.

Dylan leans in and whispers, "I know you better than anyone." When I look at him he bites his lower lip and smiles, I blush a little. "Just what I thought." Shit, he leans in and is a mere inch away from my lips and whispers, "I won't tell him that he is right." I bite my lip, and he looks down observing them closely.

"Brenda are you coming to class?" Kelly's frosty tone and scraping of the chair and she shoves it under the table breaks the moment. Donna and Andrea quickly begin to stand though they weren't asked to. I lean back and look over at my son, after giving him a kiss I look at Dylan as I stand.

He is holding the Porsche keys and I pass him the jeep ones. "Give Erica a big hug from me."

"Absolutely. I'll bring dinner home. There is this Mexican restaurant that one of the guy's in my lit class recommended, all home made ingredients and they use corn tortillas which are low in sodium." I nod then farewell my brother's, before I get passed him he grabs my hand, "try and get some rest before we get home okay." I nod and move over to the huffing Kelly. It's not worth it to ask what her problem is when it is clearly me.

If I thought the first lecture was bad the second about having multiple partners is officially bizarre. It's fine if that is what someone wants but I can't see that as the norm as what Lucinda is trying to convince us it is. Once again Kelly is eating it up, I mean why not it excuses all her behaviour during that summer and senior year, I imagine she is telling herself that she was justified it was just natural. Yeah if it was so natural why the fucking lies! The lecture leaves me in a bad mood that I'm still festering in when Dylan comes home two hours later. He notices me laying on the bed reading and being grumpy about it. My son who began his catnap in the car is still sleeping in his carrier and Dylan quickly moves him to his bed.

"What's up?"

"Stupid lecture." He picks up my foot and starts massaging it and gives me a curious look. I sigh, "the premise is that we aren't designed to be monogamous that we should have multiple partners some at the same time. Do you beli… of course you do, Kelly was lapping it up as well." I go to pull my foot away, he holds it.

"I don't believe that. Not if you are in a committed relationship. We both struggled with that at times, but I think apart from the age we were and how serious it felt, I think the biggest issue was when there was distance between us. That summer of sophomore year, that drama guy and the girl who I took to Baja. While nothing happened with either it was because we were apart trying to find a fix for the pain. In junior year the cardio guy and Sarah, it wasn't a physical distance but an emotional one formed from complacency… and well our summer I think that was both a physical and emotional one but also an escape-" I pull my foot away but he continues on even with me shrinking up to the top of the bed. "The family attack had worn us both out and it seemed like it was inevitable Jim would put his foot down on your return and we would be over. You assumed it too didn't you, that we had been given a death sentence with that Paris offer?" I look at him, I know he won't stop until I answer, I finally nod. He was right, I said as much to my parents on my return in my last ditch attempt to reason with them. "The knowledge that we were going to be over at least until you were out of that house was like poison. I could feel the warmth, happiness, hope I had felt for the last few years shrivel, like I had to get used to living without you. Is that what you felt? Why you didn't call for the first few weeks?"

"I told Donna it was because I was strong and independent that my life didn't revolve around you. I was trying to make that true, as yeah I wasn't convinced there was a way forward for us. My parents had hated us so much that they sent me to Paris- that doesn't happen in Minnesota it went against all their values."

His whispered, "that isn't even the half of it," has me asking him to explain.

"I can't I don't want your blood pressure-"

I'm sick of not knowing what has taken place between my Dad and Dylan, it clearly has left a lot of bitterness on Dylan's side. "If sending me to Paris was the mild response I'd like to know the full story, my mind will just run through scenarios without knowing, stressing me more." He sighs and rubs his hair, then moves up the bed to sit in front of me. He reaches for my wrist and I can feel him hold my pulse point.

"If it gets too much or you feel anything unusual you tell me?" I nod. "Your Dad went after the money trying to cut off my security, I thought it was a baseless threat until he said that the trust couldn't support anything illegal. As the Guardian of the Trust he had to keep it's integrity and he needed to report me for harbouring a minor in a Trust asset."

"Dylan we are born three weeks apart we were mere months away from both turning eighteen, in some States at sixteen we could of got married. To call me a minor for the nineteen day difference between us is a joke."

"I was emancipated, he was threatening me with statutory ra-" I can't hear the word, acid begins to rise up my throat.

"He inferred or said that?"

"If I couldn't convince you to get on that plane he would accuse me formally of-" before he can finish I'm jumping up and running to the bathroom and vomiting whatever is left in my stomach. In seconds he's behind me holding my hair. His anger at himself fills the room, with mumbled I'm a fucking idiot, and you should have kept your mouth shut while I gather myself together. I flush the toilet and then go brush my teeth before moving back to the bathroom floor to lean against the tub, the coldness of the tiles is soothing. He joins me. I grab his hand and entwine our fingers, I don't speak not knowing what to say. There is no defence of that behaviour, Dylan's world… well I imagine he felt the bottom fall out, a feeling I'd experience eight months later.

It all began to make sense, his aversion to spending too much time at my parents after that, his resentment at my father. Even now he had gone out of his way to make sure Dad couldn't interfere block him from Art or me. From the moment he found out he made sure I knew I had options, unlike what he had felt. "Are you okay? I'm sorry I shouldn't have told you."

"No I'm not okay that is a disgusting allegation especially as he knew how together we were, but physically I'm fine, well apart from the nausea." I'm quiet for a long time trying to process my Dad threatening something that could of ruined his life, threatening something so ugly, using such a serious crime as if it was something that could be tossed around used to his advantage. Did my Dad even consider to make that accusation stick or for me to rebut it I would have had to be dragged in, made to discuss something so beautiful and personal with strangers? That was a violation in itself. I squeeze his hand, "you should of told me then."

"You wouldn't have gone and I knew they wouldn't give you that opportunity again. I love France I wanted you to experience it." He squeezes my hand. "Though in hindsight I should have said I was off to Baja for the rest of summer and instead joined you over there. We could have finally had a few weeks of peace, caught our breath and figured out how to move forward. Though weeks of waking up next to you may have spoilt me, I can't imagine I'd have willingly slept without you for a year or even till our birthday's after that." The sadness that he hadn't thought of that at the time and the yearning to have come with me was clear in his voice.

"Yes but we wouldn't have Art and as much as Paris with you would have been beautiful our son is too amazing to give up."

"He was always meant to be ours, whether it was from our first scare not being a false alarm, a summer in Paris together or a senior year together, he would have found his way to us we could have just avoided the hurt." Our son's cry pull's us from the floor and we move to the bedroom to pick him up. He decides he wants me but even once in my arms he refuses to relinquish his hold on his Dad's shirt. Dylan taking the mini McKay's hint pulls us both to his chest. Art snuggles between his parents and starts his happy babble. Eventually we move to the couch and focus on spending time with Art together. "You up for the dinner I picked up, it's mainly cold items salads and salsa I just need to heat up the meat?"

"You hang with him I can do it." He gives me a stern look, since staying here I was able to take care of the kids but that was it. For a man that doesn't cook he had mastered the art of reheating and the making of a salad, on Thursday night he had even successfully cooked salmon; from his face I can tell he was not surrendering his carer position just yet. I shake my head slowly giving in to his need to take care of me.

After dinner, showers and when Art is down for the night we lay on the couch watching a movie, well I lay Dylan sits at the end and returns to my foot rub though it moves into a calf rub as well. Sometime around Johnny and Robbie the Creep's fight I fall asleep. I wake or at least am aware a while later that the house is quiet and I'm in Dylan's arms being carried to bed. Once he lays me down he moves to his own side of the bed and pulls me into his arms. As I return to my deep sleep I realise I said it was a once off but it's too comfy here. I'll make sure to put distance between us tomorrow.