Authors Note: I own nothing. No ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210.
Chapter Twenty-Nine: Acting
The moment had an awkward air about it, and whether Brandon picked up on that or his manners just came out he quickly moved over. "Twin let me do the honours. Suzanne I'd like to introduce you to my other half Brenda Walsh, though I'm sure Dylan will claim to you that she is his other half but twin trumps the romantic stuff." During Brandon's long winded introduction both Kevin and Suzanne seemed to get a look of concern realising that this was not the introduction they were hoping for.
As I hold out my hand I clarify, "sorry your shirt threw me when I came in as it doesn't have your name on it, it was only when I heard Kevin is it? Say Suzanne did I realise it was you."
She was silent for a moment before tentatively holding out her hand to take mine. "Yes there was a ketchup incident this morning so I had to grab a spare shirt from the back. I'm sorry about early I didn't realise that is why you were trying to get my attention." I simply give a blank nod at that. Nat and Brandon, hell even Dylan who was keeping his stake very private, would not like the service I got even if I had been just a customer.
"So is this Kevin?"
"Yes this is Kevin." I hold out my hand to him trying to make this introduction less awkward, it was important to Dylan and I that this went well. Erica was apart of our family and if Suzanne didn't like me that could change.
"Well it's nice to meet the famous Brenda. Erica is very taken with you, she does nothing but talk about you and well Iris featured heavily as well in conversation on Sunday. Did they really make mud pies last weekend?"
I shake my head and give an amused smirk to Kevin, "I am actually not sure, but by the way they turned up on the back doorstep it wouldn't surprise me."
"If Erica is being naughty there please let me know, she knows better than to make a mess." Suzanne looked concerned and annoyed at her daughters antics.
Trying to lighten the mood I laugh a little, "I imagine that mud pies were the brainchild of Dylan's mum, out of the two of them Erica is the most…"
"Structured?"
I look at my twin, "yeah that's probably a good term for it. Iris is not one to follow conventions unless safety is at play." Nat laughed at that description.
"Well if you are sure, I don't want Erica to be a bother."
"She could never be, Dylan and I love her being there." I then look at my temporary housemate, "and we adore having Nat with us to. Roomie from your appearance it seems like you pushed yourself a little too hard today." I lift my eyebrow and then give my twin a look.
"Don't look at me it was all him. He insisted on saying hello to everyone and chatting to some of the suppliers."
I turn my look to Nat, "okay honey I may have pushed it too hard today but I've missed the joint."
"Well a couple more weeks and you'll be back to walking these floors everyday, but in the mean time let me take you home so you can rest."
Nat gives me a smile and Brandon goes to collect his coat from outback. "Suzanne and Kevin it was nice to finally get a chance to meet you both. I hope you will come up to the house soon for dinner. Even if it's not a weekend night, I know that time with Erica is precious, but you are more than welcome any evening."
"Thank you I may take you up on that." Something about her tone told me she wouldn't. Maybe I hadn't done enough to remove the initial awkwardness.
When we got home it was to find both Art and Iris asleep, though the former was awake by the time Nat had had a drink of water and declared he was going to lie down for a bit himself. I promised to bring him some lunch in a little while. Art and I spent the afternoon playing out on a blanket on the lawn, with Iris joining us soon after. With her headache having been slept off she was more than happy for some girl time together. When I explained my meeting with Suzanne her relaxed face took on a look of concern.
"Darling what was your gut saying to you? If there is anything I took away from my marriage with Jack it was to trust your gut, he swore by it when we first got together."
"It just seemed odd and honestly I am concerned that the oddness will create problems. Dylan and I love Erica being here, and while we know it's not permanent we do want her to be a regular visitor. If Suzanne doesn't like me that could be a problem."
"Do you like her?"
I pause and consider the question, "I'm not sure that it is necessary for me to like her."
"That means you don't. Well Jack's mistresses, well the ones I assumed were his mistresses, were either… well let's just say not scholars but they were physically appealing playing to his vanity or they appealed to his conniving intellect side. Unfortunately, the man I married eroded away with every million he made, by the end of our year's together I didn't recognise him or me."
"Do you think that Dylan will turn out like Jack?"
She covers my hand and squeezes, "as you know Dylan adopted a lot of Jack's behaviours over the last eighteen months, it has nearly cost him everything with no reward. Dylan doesn't want to be like his father, he loves him but doesn't want to be him, though he now knows he is capable of it. That has scared him. Darling when you love someone you have to be able to have the difficult conversations, it's something I stopped doing with Jack maybe if I had I could have saved him travelling down that road too far. If Dylan starts ever acting like he did back then then trust your gut and call him on it."
I look at her, "do you know I used to do that, sophomore and junior year I would always call him on things. When I came back from Paris within less than a day I suspected something, I should have gone to him and asked, trusted my gut. Instead I asked Kelly at the sandcastle competition that afternoon, and well when she assured me that he loved me, I buried my head figuratively in the sand after that. His behaviour changed from then on but mine did too, I guess I became more scared to rock the boat whilst at the same time trying to hold on to him more tightly."
"I know that feeling well, it was the exact same with Jack; it started just before Dylan's first birthday. Darling don't let that happen again, don't invite another person into your relationship like that and don't lower your standards. You deserve the best my son deserves the best, at times though we get complacent it's human nature. He needs to pull you up for that and you need to do the same to him. Never be complacent about the most, well next to the one with yourself, important relationship in your life. That relationship will be the backbone of your whole family, it will give it it's security, your kids security."
By the time I had put my son down for his nap and I was making my way back down the hill for my sorority meeting my head was full of thoughts. Dylan, our relationship, our life now, Stuart and his crazy declaration on Saturday night. I had hoped that his embellished 'what are you doing for the rest of your life?' comment had been a line brought on by a fun night of dancing, but his note on Sunday reiterated similar emotions. There was a butterfly but under the weight of such lofty romantic statements she was struggling to flap her wings- if I was being honest she was trying to find her cocoon again. Fun, lightness and ease was what I was looking for but my Father had managed to set me up with the only guy, well the second guy in LA who was talking about forever. It was a lot and it was a lot from a guy who didn't even know me.
The mystery of how he got my address also bugged me, I had checked with Mum at lunch yesterday and she swears Dad didn't hand it out and I can't imagine Brandon would of. If I was to go off what Iris told me and trust my gut, well it was saying that he did walk me to the car door rather than the porch. He had kissed me at the car, which had been nice and stirred the butterfly wings. When he asked to see me again I had been happy to comply, when he asked when I was free and I had asked when was he thinking, and he declared he was thinking was I free for life, the butterfly stopped flapping. I left pretty quickly after that and so did Stuart. If I was listening to my gut, it was telling me that I didn't remember his headlights ever leaving my rear view mirror even when cars were between us they remained. If I listened to my gut I was certain that Stuart had followed me back to the gate.
He didn't give off the creep vibe so I wasn't worried about him being a stalker, he did give off the vibe of a guy who was thinking something more than I was. He was thinking this could be forever, I was still making sure to carry enough cash for an emergency taxi if I wanted to leave a date with him. We were in different places and I didn't know if my place was due to his too soon intensity, to Dylan, to our family, or to the fact that he just wasn't the one. Regardless I had committed to seeing him on his birthday on Saturday afternoon claiming that Saturday night I had a prior commitment, and when he declared he wanted a piece of Laverne's Honey Pie for his birthday treat it was decided that the Peach Pit was the perfect place.
As I moved into the Peach Pit for the second time that day I easily spotted the girls at our usual table. After greetings and ordering, we set about to complete our sorority meetings agenda- catching up on gossip. Donna and Andrea filled us in on their recent Monday night Valentine's Day dates and it was nice to hear both girls had been spoilt. When they asked about mine, I assume already knowing about Kelly's, I had simply declared that it was a normal Monday.
I didn't disclose that I had gone to support Dylan with his annual blood donation and that when we got home and had to deal with the last of the nursery delivers that a second delivery had been made while Dylan was on the side of the house advising where the sleepers had more soil had to go. It was a delivery I planned to hand back ever so politely on Saturday with a thank you but jewellery was too much too soon. Dylan had known not to overstep and in fairness this whole upcoming week was one I think he would like to avoid. It would be a year in a couple of days and then the anniversary of Jack's death; February was no longer a month we both wanted to commemorate for multiple reasons. The Thirtieth or Thirty-First of January would serve as the last dates of special significance for me until… well all my other dates were first's for Dylan and I, it seemed weird to acknowledge those dates without us being together.
"Normal Monday are you sure?" I give Donna a questioning look, after having shared a meal at our house she was pro-reunion. It was a stance she hadn't taken the year prior so her favour or opinion on my love life carried no weight with me now. "That gorgeous ring looks new?" I'm surprised it has taken her half a month to spot it but I had missed the last two week's of sorority meetings and class time didn't provide time to examine accessories. As I look down to my hand the girls all looked closely at it. "Are they actual diamonds around the stone?"
I knew from the jewellery store it was purchased from and the intention that the piece stay on my finger for life that they were. "Yes."
Andrea joined in then, "that's an opal right, does it have special significance?"
"Yes it's Arthur's birthstone."
Kelly's quiet, "so it's from Dylan then?"
"Yes he wanted me to have a piece of jewellery that represented Art."
"Bren it's gorgeous. So was this your gift on Monday?"
"No Donna. Dylan and I aren't together so we wouldn't celebrate Valentine's Day, and it's approaching Jack's anniversary it's not really a time of year Dylan wants to celebrate."
I could see Kelly was about to begin a story about Jack or that time. I don't know if Andrea did it on purpose but she cut the blonde off making her miss her segue. "Was it given randomly then?"
"It was given one month to the day of Dylan having met his son." I was not going to raise the other significant meaning to that date but I didn't have to.
"That was also around the anniversary of that time a year ago that you broke our deal and slept with Dylan, right?"
Was she really trying to guilt me for breaking a deal that gave me my son? Yeah there was no way I was going to made to feel guilt for my son. "Yeah it was actually a year ago to the day, well I say the thirtieth but Dylan is adamant that since it went passed midnight it should be commemorated on the thirty-first he even got the date engraved into the band. If I pass this down to our grandchildren or great grandchildren that will be awkward to explain. Dylan is of course amused by that." It was more information than I would usually share but I was over her subtle digs, and her making one about the conception of my son was going too far.
Andrea sensing the tension aims to change the subject to something we should all agree Dylan comes first in and should be above petty rivalry. "How is Dylan handling the upcoming anniversary?"
"He's okay. He is talking about him more, telling stories to Erica and they both are asking Iris questions. They were together for a number of years and loved each other a lot at one time, it's nice that Dylan is finally getting a chance to hear the stories and mourn with someone who knew Jack so well."
"Yeah Dylan liked that I knew Jack. I mean we ate dinner together, I went to his party, we chatted on the boat and while I liked him and I know Dylan was glad that I had some time with him, it was just so short, meaningful but short." Okay petty rivalry continues. Iris' knowledge and memories of her years and love with Jack versus Kelly meeting him less than a handful of times- absolutely the same thing.
Thankfully no one responded to Kelly and rather the focus maintained on their friend Dylan. "Is he going to commemorate the anniversary?"
"I'm not sure Donna. It's still a bit over a week away and while Dylan is openly sentimental about something's this one maybe too close to him."
"I didn't peg Dylan for being sentimental. Is he really? Is this something since he found out about Art?"
"Yes Andrea he really is, and no he has always been that way." That was as much detail as I was willing to give on that. Dylan was sentimental but he was also very private I wouldn't discuss the things that he liked to acknowledge as important to him.
"Yeah he really is. We even hung out in our old kindergarten playground one time, reminiscing of our shared childhood growing up together." She gets a shy smile and picks up a quiet tone, "it was actually where he decided to tell me that he felt I was his soulmate."
It was hands down a beautiful performance of innocently dropping a big secret or maybe she truly had no awareness and care for others and was doing it completely unintentionally, either way all eyes turned to me.
Donna's quiet and shocked "Kelly?!", didn't help matters.
"Donna it's fine." I shrugged my shoulders and sipped my tea.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes Donna it's fine, it's not news to me." Kelly's eyes fell on me but I refused to acknowledge them not wanting to make this news a big deal, it wasn't, instead I turned to the girls for help on a problem I was having. "Anyway before I have to leave I need help with something, do any of you know some nice women to set Steve up with? I am putting my foot down on him choosing his own one's or at least on me having to meet the one's he self chooses."
We spend the next fifteen minutes discussing options and deciding on who Steve will have coffee dates with next week. My brother may pretend he liked to play the field but he was a romantic guy at heart, he liked being in a relationship. I liked Celeste a lot and so did he, that was the problem he didn't love her. Steve wanted that, he wanted to find love.
When I arrived home it was to Dylan in the kitchen cutting up vegetables for dinner and Art in his bouncer in the middle of the kitchen island being entertained by his father.
"Hey how was the sorority meeting?"
I went over and jumped up enough to kiss our son and then stole a carrot before sitting on one of the island stools. "You won't like it if I tell you what happened."
He puts down the knife and walks over to me, "what did she do?"
"Maybe it wasn't her." He gives me a don't bullshit me look, "she finally made the announcement you and her officially are soulmates, well you think you guys are." He looks at me closely holding my eyes for a long time.
"You will one day win an academy award. Baby you are still in performance mode are you ready to drop it yet?"
"Nope I have no desire to deal with the emotions of the looks of pity I got from Donna and Andrea; no desire to try and analyse if Kelly ever was my friend and if loving you brought out this side of her or was she always playing a part- using me; and, I don't have any desire to unleash the anger I have at you for putting me in this situation."
"Well you are acknowledging you're angry and that you know where it should be aimed, that's a start. If it helps I'm furious at myself."
"Nope it doesn't help." I slowly chew my carrot. "What have you defrosted for dinner?"
"Nothing, I stopped by the market and picked up salmon for dinner. Does boiled new potatoes, steamed vegetables and grilled salmon sound okay?"
"Sounds very healthy and completely in Nat's and my required menu plan. You know you can add butter, sour cream or cheese to yours?"
"Nope you are on a limited diet because you gave birth to our son, in solidarity to the amazing child you grew and the personal cost it's taken I can stick to your meal plan, and hey it might mean we both live to see our great great grandchildren."
I knew he stuck to my meal plan but there was one vice he refused to give up. "Does that mean you are going to have only one coffee a day?"
He closes his eyes and quietly declares, "if you want me to I'll give up my second," I clear my throat, "and third cup."
"No it's okay, you are doing the night shifts and you're a grump when you go without sleep."
"I'm never a grump."
I laugh out loud, "Dylan you were literally the loner of the school and you liked to fight-"
"No I didn't."
"Brandon told me how you stood up for Scott when he was being picked on in tech class, you were feeling hostile that day wasn't it?"
He gets bashful, "your twin tells you too much."
"It's a twin thing." I reach across and steal another carrot, "speaking of my twin he introduced me to Suzanne today and Kevin by extension. I don't think it was the introduction either of us were hoping for." He moves back to the chopping board and gives me a look to continue. I spend the next ten minutes explaining everything from walking in to when I left.
By the time I'm finished he has stopped cutting the vegetables and is looking at me. "Well it sounds like she was embarrassed and I'm hoping that she was having a bad day maybe from the ketchup thing, none of us would be happy for her to treat the customers that way normally. How are you though? You like things like this to go perfectly, I imagine this has made you a little worried."
He knew me so well it was scary at times. "I'm hoping she doesn't let her embarrassment effect us taking care of Erica. I love her with us and well I know it's only temporary and she's your sister but-"
"We should stop the charade she doesn't feel like my or your sister at all, we may not be her parents but she'll just have to accept that for the rest of her life she'll be treated like and looked out for like she is ours."
"Is that an acceptance that Erica or Suzanne is required to make?"
"I think Erica has already made and welcomed it." With that he launches into the description of Suzanne and Erica's relationship that Nat gave on Saturday night and references our previous concerns.
As he puts the potatoes on I quietly reflect on everything regarding well our new family member. "Dylan your Mum today told me Jack in his early year's swore by his gut, that's how he originally made his money. When he stopped listening to his instinct in favour of the bigger payoff that's when it began to fall apart. What's your gut telling you about Suzanne?"
He picks up a cloth and wipes his hands while walking back to the island. "When I first met her I told Nat it felt like a scam, he told me it was Christmas and to have faith. I've been working from that faith ever since."
"That's not answering the question." He closes his eyes and takes a breath, and then opens them and for the first time admits something he hasn't dared to.
"My heart is telling me to do what I have to do to keep Erica safe and happy, and that it's best achieved with her being around us. Whether that's because Suzanne is still like one of Jack's gold digger girlfriend's just with a better game or if she is just scared from the trauma of losing her house and moving to a new city, either way Erica is what matters."
From his eyes I could tell he didn't know. He had grown and was no longer the same desperate guy lonely and looking for family, he wasn't the same man I had found on New Year's Eve, he wasn't blindly convinced. He had found his family one that was his forever in his son, and even in his emerging relationship with his mother, it gave him confidence to look more closely at his other relationships. "Agreed. So we focus on Erica and don't rock the boat?"
He moves closer to me and squeezes my hand, "we focus on Erica, don't rock the boat, keep our suspicions to the two of us and hope that our faith is not misplaced." I nod in agreement. He reaches up and puts a piece of my hair behind my ear, "it's a good thing I'm desperately in love with a future Oscar winner. You'll make sure that whatever is or isn't going on with Suzanne that she'll only ever feel welcome from the two of us." I smile.
"Speaking of being in love-"