Authors Note: I own nothing. No ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210.
Chapter Thirty-Three: Teething Issues
The next week see's us readjusting our life again. Bren's parental obligations are off leaving her free for long Sunday brunches with me and Art, we resume our Tuesday picnic lunches on the lawn between lectures and she now spends her Friday morning's at home rather than rushing to meet her dad before her Doctor's appointment. A few day's after the bbq Nat decides it's time to return home after getting the all clear from his Doctor to resume somewhat of a normal schedule. He promises that he'll pop up for a weekly meal and he demands to see us all in the restaurant at least once a week even agreeing to add some more Brenda and Nat healthy meal choices to the menu. The best part of readjust us that our routine is now filled with more us, we aren't together but we aren't not together. She sits closer to me now, hugs me when she enters the house, she has begun to flirt regularly with me again, and while she had started stealing my t-shirts and flannels before, she now steals one to sleep in each night.
The sleeping arrangements are predictable, if Erica is home we are in our separate rooms. Bren hasn't said it but I know she is still not feeling herself enough to dive back in and therefore she wants her new awareness that she will eventually make that leap to be just between us. When Erica is with Suzanne, Bren crawls into my bed or I crawl into her's. We don't discuss our room but I know that we will only move in there when we are officially together and she is ready to resume all aspects of our relationship together.
On Wednesday of the second week since the bbq she comes bouncing in from her sorority meeting. I'm by the sink washing some dishes so she slides her arms around my waist in greeting.
"You seem happy was the sorority meeting that good?" I'd be shocked if it was. Andrea and Donna were trying to be better friends and Bren was trying to be more confident in those relationships but the dye may have already been cast in the friendships, they may be just permanent good friends but they may no longer be the family Bren saw them as in junior year. That may change, time heals all wounds but as it stood it was unknown and Bren was still uncertain how to navigate how much she wanted to let them into our lives. Kelly, well if I had my way that friendship would be over. I take all the blame for the destruction of it but Kelly's ongoing jealousy that continued to make even pleasantries between the two unstable was all on her. Bren though was unpredictable when it came to the Blonde, she ranged from not wanting a friendship but wanting her included to toying with the idea of friendship. When I raised it with Brandon he tells me it's the best friend thing, Bren misses having a best friend. When I pointed to myself he laughed, telling me that yes him, Steve and I were great but we don't do the female best friend thing.
"No, the sorority meeting was full of questions about my parents, Donna also brought up the marriage suggestions again wanting to know if I had received one this week."
Picking up the tea towel to dry my hands, I turn to face her before wrapping my arms around her and bringing her even closer. "Did you tell them?"
"No."
"That's a shame I was really proud of that one."
"Were you proud of how your first words on waking were about marriage or where you just proud of where you found your hands when you woke up?"
"I'm not the one who only wore my t-shirt to bed, my hands finding there way there was just instinct when your skin was exposed."
"You're taller and broader than me, your t-shirts don't expose that much skin on me."
"Except when you get cold and become like a little climbing monkey in your sleep, then by default the shirts ride up."
"Well we should increase the temperature in our bedrooms, I'm not sure why you have taken to setting both our rooms to Arctic it's not that warm yet." I bite my lip and look away, "seriously?" She shakes her head, "on purpose?"
"I don't know what you are talking about." She raises a questioning eyebrow, "I think the temperature is fine." She purse's her lips, "what I'm very happy to be the tree to your monkey?" She puffs out air as if she doesn't know what to do with me, "do you know what I like about this mock annoyance you are displaying? Not once have you mentioned going back to wearing your pyjamas."
She sighs, "moving on." I hold in my laugh, yep aircon will remain low in both our rooms. "So the sorority meeting was a dud they are all still processing the bbq information, everything from Dad's horrible deal to dating Stuart was raised. By the way David's a good guy, I know he knows everything from AA but he is holding firm on that trust."
"As he should but it's good to hear." I give her a smile, "so if the sorority meeting hasn't got you bouncing in here like tigger what has?"
She raises her eyebrow at me, "that is a specific reference, did you take Art to another bookstore this morning?" Busted, I sheepishly nod. "Dylan he can't even hold a book open and turn the paper pages, you have already bought him enough for his own library."
"Well it is Erica's library too and our other future kids library."
"Where would this library go? Our study library is full."
"I was thinking my room would work when we move into the main bedroom but that's a little short sighted as it will be needed for future kids as it would make a good nursery. So maybe getting Frank up here once he is done in Malibu, we could either convert the space in the roof to a library attic or we could extend the vaulted ceiling and create a loft space-"
"Wait I'm stuck on short sighted. Dylan?"
"Short sighted can be months to a few years, stop panicking I'm not suggesting we try as soon as you get the all clear… unless you want-"
"I'm moving on from this conversation as well, you are way too one minded today. So I ran into a guy from my drama class while I was leaving the Pit and he told me that it's just been announced that CU is putting on a production of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. It's going to be directed by Roy Randolph."
"Wow he's good, I saw one of his play's on Broadway. From your excitement can I assume you are going to try out?" She nods, I smile she is gaining back her confidence. "Great, how can I help?"
"Do we have a copy of the play here I'd like to read it tonight if we do?" The we's in that sentence had me pulling her closer.
"Yes we do, it's in our very small library that whilst full has an amazing collection of books. I have such good taste I should definitely be encouraged to buy more." She pinches me to be serious. "Ouch Maggie, put your claws away I'll go grab it for you."
She rewards me with a smile and a gentle kiss on my cheek in thanks for my support of her dreams.
The next day on campus she finds out that the auditions will be the following Saturday, it gives her nine days to get herself organised. Steve being the supportive brother, invites her for afternoon tea with Samantha on Sunday so she can chat about the role that his mother has played on stage before. When she comes back she is feeling confident especially when Samantha loaned her her original white slip dress that she wore on stage. When I come home that night from my AA meeting, finding her wearing it and trying out hair styles I am floored.
"I don't think I want anyone seeing you look this stunning without my ring on your finger." She holds up her finger with the opal ring on it. I move forward into her room and from behind glide my hands over the silky material at her waist.
"Do you think I can wear this? I mean I'm nursing still so I'm a little larger on top and my hips are a little wider after giving birth."
I move my hands down to her hips and feel, "Baby they are not wider." Through the mirror she gives me a look of disbelief, "believe me I know exactly how they feel in my hands, I've spent many nights thinking about them." She rolls her eyes. "Now as for wearing this, you look like an old Hollywood screen siren. I'm serious about not being thrilled about people seeing you like this but I imagine it will be something I'll need to accept with your career." I move down and smell just below her ear and kiss her neck at one of her sensitive spots. "Now I think you look incredible but how do you feel? Maggie was comfortable in her skin, if you don't feel that wearing this then tomorrow after your bloods we can go shopping."
"I'm comfortable in the feel of the dress but I think what is throwing me is my hair. Tide up it's too structured and being so dark and long when it's out seems to detract from the look of the dress. I'm thinking of cutting it, actually since Arthur was born I have been thinking about it- it requires a lot of energy to maintain it at this length."
I run my hand through her hair. "I'll miss it but you'll look beautiful either way. How short were you thinking?" She indicates to me that it will be just below her shoulder's. "Are you still going to the salon I took you to after we met?"
She smiles, "before I left LA I was. Your friend was still taking care of me there giving me the VIP treatment."
"I'm glad, he's a good guy we hung out a fair bit when he was an apprentice at the salon in the Bel Age."
"I know, he's the one who taught you how to style your hair before you entered junior high."
"I'm having words with him, that was a secret."
"You don't have secrets between you and your hairdresser."
"Crap then he knows everything?"
"He knew about your lobotomy, his description for your crazy change in behaviour but I didn't tell him about Art before I left for Minnesota. Though I refused to get my hair dyed it's slightly darker hue and asked to sit away from anyone getting chemical treatments- he gave me knowing eye's the whole time but we never discussed it. I've been a little too busy to get my hair done since I got back."
"Why don't I call my old friend and see if he can squeeze you in tomorrow after your bloods, I need to have words with him anyway about giving away my secrets?"
She goes to move so I lightly release my hold giving her space. She turns to face me and lifts up slightly on her toes to run both hands through my hair. "You still get him to cut your hair?"
"Not since… well it reminded me too much of you of us."
"Mmmm I didn't think your recent styles were his cuts." As she continues to run her fingers through my hair I fight the urge to close my eyes to focus on her touch, instead I stay there so close to her face watching her while she is absorbed in me. "It's getting longer at the sides, why don't you see if he can fit you in as well?"
I lean down and rub my nose gently against hers, it's the closest we have been to the other. I feel her breath catch but I don't close the gap between us. It's her call when that gap is closed I'm just going to torture myself in the meantime. "Okay I'll call first thing in the morning. I'm guessing me staying in here is out of the question tonight?"
She moves her hands to the back of my head holding gently on to the hair there, it keeps me firmly in place. "The kids are sleeping and while Erica doesn't often wake in the night she does occasionally due to bad dreams; more so since Kevin entered her life, she still hasn't warmed to him. I don't want her to come in here and see you. Don't get me wrong I'm sure she'll love the idea that we are… well we are moving in that direction but-"
"You want it to be discussed first with her, make sure she knows what that means for her."
She moves her nose against mine slightly, "what does it mean for her?"
"That she'll need a flower girl dress soon." I hold onto her hips more firmly, "do you know you look beautiful in white?"
I feel her smile, "we are playing with fire here, that magnetic pull is hard to fight."
"Don't fight it, that's what you told me back in our room the night of the Spring Dance, I think they are words to live by."
As she moves slightly closer Art's cries can be heard through the monitor. She moves back, "he's been a little grumpy this evening, and his gums are a little swollen. He's approaching six months, I think our son is going to get his first tooth soon."
She smiles as she moves out of the room to go take care of our upset boy.
On Wednesday I come home to a strange sight, Bren and Kelly with their feet in the pool running lines. As I move over to the pool I give Bren a curious look, "hey Baby I thought you'd be down the hill at your meeting." I lean down and kiss the crown of her head and then nod at Kelly acknowledging her presence.
"Arthur's been out of sorts since I brought him home, I didn't want to leave a disgruntled baby with your mum."
"Any signs of the tooth yet?"
"Nope but he is obsessed with drooling over his hand."
"Yeah I gave him the teething thing this morning he seemed to like that."
"Yeah he did till he decided to throw it on the ground in the CU carpark. It's currently being sterilised again."
"So no sorority meeting then?"
"No when Bren called the beach apartment to cancel I told her we could move it up here, the girls are stopping for pie on the way over. I offered to come over earlier to hangout and run lines for Bren's audition. She thinks I should try out as well, that I'd make a good Mae."
I give her a tentative smile, not thrilled by the idea of them being together too often, she had a way of feeding Bren's new found and hopefully disappearing insecurities. "Well I'll get out of your hair then. Baby I'll be in the study calling Frank and working on my paper before I collect Erica from school. As she is with us for dinner any ideas what you are in the mood for?"
"Can you tell Frank I've put the order in?" I give her a smile and nod, our contractor will be pleased that the kitchen bases have all been ordered for both houses; that means they should be ready to install in six weeks. "Erica likes your salmon, and I'll make up her favourite salads to go with it. Sound okay?"
"Sure I'll stop past the market after collecting her." I kiss her head again, "have fun."
As he walks away Kelly looks over at me, "he seems different."
"He got his hair cut on Monday but that's all that is new with him."
"No I mean he seems like he has a lot going on, is he stressing about your parents?"
"No Dylan is fine about that, he has spoken to Grandma Walsh a few times about it, she assured him that it's my parents who have to deal with their issue's and that he is not to blame." I give her a smile, "he does have a lot going on but that's of Dylan's own making and he is busy but enjoying it."
"So he's no longer the surf bum, shame he loves surfing?"
"I don't think Dylan ever was a surf bum but yes he still surfs. He gets out there at least twice a week, with our Sunday's now freer Iris, the kids and I usually have a play on the beach while he's out there before we go have Sunday brunch with Nat and my brother's at the Pit." I didn't tell her that our Malibu place he was busy organising would also give him the opportunity to surf everyday when we were out there.
Iris and I have been chatting about her conversation with Suzanne, she told me Jack's ex girlfriend was good at focusing in on points of contention but didn't dwell on them too long- that would raise too much suspicion, instead she looked for potential kindnesses where there might have been an imbalance in our relationship. Jack was good at doing that too, he used it in business a lot to make deals, playing on the narrative that the imbalances weren't reciprocated and he would be better. Iris had observed it for year's, she said it was easy to spot when you knew what to look for. If I didn't know any better I'd say Kelly was trying to spot them with us, considering that she did this at the start of senior year I was more sensitive to the slight change in conversation style. With Suzanne she seemed calculating like she knew what she was doing, with Kelly I didn't know if she was that conscious of it, was she naturally looking for holes? That made her more concerning as she would appear genuinely innocent to the destruction she would cause if she found or created any.
When the girls arrived Donna was stressed, the sorority charity calendar shoot was on Friday and another person had just pulled out. She had a day to find two more campus guy's. When I suggested Steve and David, she said they were already booked in for the shot replacing two others who withdrew on Monday. When she raised the possibility of Brandon I laughed.
"Donna I'm not sure he is going to be that keen, I mean the taskforce is getting ready to go to Washington in seven weeks. I can't imagine the Chancellor will want a calendar featuring Brandon coming out at the same time."
"Will you ask?"
"No my twin is still finding it hard to say no to me after nearly losing me, I won't put him in that position, but Andrea might be able to get him to agree of his own volition."
"Why me?"
"Because Brandon will have about twenty reasons why not, you'll be able to counter all of them, and well he tried for two years to quit The Blaze and every year he still did it. Face it Andrea you speak Brandon nearly as well as I do."
She laughs, "I'll corner him tomorrow morning before our journalism class."
"Great now that is sorted." I raise my eyebrow at Donna and lift my fingers together with a little space, "okay almost sorted, then all I need is one more."
"Dylan?"
I turn to Kelly, "in a calendar in his underwear?" I laugh.
Donna looked at me, "he won't do it?"
"You guy's are serious?" They nod, I hold in my chuckle. "Okay. Donna he is in our study feel free to go ask."
"Donna it's okay I can do it."
"No offence Kelly but because of the history you asking him to pose in his underwear will not go over well with him." She seems taken aback but it was true Dylan would not be okay with that. It took me a second to realise that I instinctively knew that, that I knew he would not like her attention. I bite my lip to stop my smile.
Kelly was quiet after that but so were the rest of us as we watched Donna nervously walk to the study. I waited for his loud laugh, what I didn't expect was his loud "Brenda!"
Both girls looked at me but I refused to go into the study unsure how I had been dragged into this. When I didn't go in he walked out, Donna's mouthed sorry preceding his baffled but grumpy face. I sip my tea from my stool at the kitchen island trying to avoid his eyes. "Baby, Donna tells me you have offered my services up for a underwear calendar." I look to the blonde in question.
"I didn't use the word offered it was more like Brenda suggested that I ask." Okay so that was not how that conversation went, the blonde sent me another silent apology. Taking pity on her I looked to my mad ex, current, future… Dylan.
"Baby I just thought you might like to volunteer, it's for charity and well all your Brother's are involved." He looks at me knowing I wasn't playing fair, it was the first time I had used that term on endearment in return since we broke up.
"You want me in my underwear in a calendar for other women to see?" He looked at me with so much confusion.
"Dylan think of when you are old and hopefully grey, our great grandkids asking you what you were like in your youth. You can say you were hot enough to be a pin up. Doesn't that sound like a good story to tell?"
He looks at me and I'm sure he can see the amusement in my eyes. "Why hopefully grey?"
"I'm not sure you're hot enough to pull off the bald look." The girls laugh, he goes from still slightly confused to amused. I lean forward and whisper in his ear, "I was joking before but just in case do the calendar, it will give me something to look at when you are no longer in your prime."
He instantly begins to tickle me, "I'm not going to go bald, maybe high peaks but that is it. Now say Dylan you will always be hot to me."
Our tickle fight and my refusal is interrupted by Arthur's cry over the monitor. Dylan's quiet, "I need to have a word with my son about timing," makes me giggle as I get up and leave the room.
By the time I'm back in the kitchen with a changed but grumpy son Dylan is getting the details of the shoot he is still yet to agree to. He looks at our unhappy little man and opens his arms, "buddy are your gums that sore?" His son's trembling bottom lip in response to his Daddy's soft tone says it all. "Oh come here." I bring him closer but my son even when transferred to his dad still keeps hold of my shirt. Dylan simply wraps his arm around me as well, "there you go, you get Mummy and Daddy snuggles."
Donna looks at us and with excitement proclaims, "Dylan you could be the month of October for your and Arthur's birthday. You and Art together could do a Halloween shot. I'm seeing black silk pyjama pants no shirt, maybe a Calvin underwear label sitting slightly exposed under the pants. Art being held against your chest maybe with a diaper or a cap that reads Boo! We could have ghosts and shadows all around the black and white photo."
I bury my head into Dylan's chest as I try and hide my laughter. "Donna that's quite a picture you paint." He begins to lightly pinch me to get me to stop and help. "Um Bren thoughts on that… what Donna just said?"
I'd pay money to have that picture, Steve would pay more just for the teasing rights. I lift my head up and give him an I'm sorry look, "I love it Donna, sounds perfect. Of course Arthur's face will not be seen but I can't see any other problems."
Dylan looks at me like I've lost it, "Brenda?"
"It's for charity, in a little campus calendar what's the worst that will happen? A few co-Ed's ask you out." He lifts his eyebrow, "Dylan please that picture sounds like something I must have."
"You are going to use this as material to tease me with forever aren't you?"
"I think I might start the tradition of sending Halloween Greeting Cards, get in before the Christmas rush. That picture can be the cover of the first card, Happy Halloween from the McKay's!" His whole brow raises and he looks at me intently.
"Okay count me and Art in, but like the future Mrs McKay just said no capturing Art's face." I shake my head realising his easy compliance was because I used the McKay name he was a sucker for it. "I have to go collect Erica want me to take the other McKay model with me?"
"No I've got him, he might fall asleep in the car and he is already grumpy enough without mixing up his sleep schedule." I smile at him, "Fabio while you're at the store can you grab the other things on our shopping list?"
He rolls his eyes at the name, hands me our son, and then moves to the walk in pantry and grabs the list before farewelling the girls who all sing out "bye Fabio."
By the time he has returned from getting Erica and going to the store the girls have left. Erica is excited by her upcoming science fair and keeps us entertained throughout the evening on potential entries for her, when Dylan adds in a few she shoots down all his suggestions. When he suggests going to see Kevin's lab she begrudgingly agrees only because it may help her win. Hopefully it will put her more at ease with the guy or for Dylan to see what there dynamic is.
When the kids are both asleep, I'm once again back into studying the play. It's how Dylan finds me on our couch after his shower. He is wearing only pyjama pants and his eyebrow is raised, feeling his stare I quickly look up. "Baby you look good, you have nothing to worry about."
He comes over and sits next to me but my head is back buried in the scene I'm going over, "I'm not worried about that but are you sure you want other people seeing me like this?"
"You wear less at the beach-"
"People don't usually take photos of me at the beach to keep."
"They should, you're definitely photo worthy."
He lightly lifts my chin making my eyes meet his. "You are seriously okay with this after everything?"
I look into his eyes and note his genuine concern, "if girls approach you on campus and ask you out will you be tempted to say yes?"
"No of course not."
"Will you be uncomfortable having your picture taken?"
"I'll probably be laughing too much, I mean seriously a man holding a baby is sexy?"
"Well not to me usually, but you holding our baby… well."
He moves my hair behind my ear. "Good to know, I thought that only worked one way."
"No, it's reciprocated." I clear my voice trying to lessen the tension. "Look if I get this part I'm going to be on stage in a slip and have romantic scenes with Brick, will that bug you?"
"Will you be coming home every night to me?"
"Yes."
"Will Brenda be up there in those scenes or Maggie?"
"Maggie."
"And if Brick gives Brenda butterflies?"
"Then you and me together can count down the day's until they die. Less than a month right?"
"Then no I won't mind."
I lean up and kiss his cheek and pick up my play, "this Baby is what trust looks and feels like." He wraps his arm around me and I move closer to him while I continue to read. Later as I read back over the scene I did with Kelly today I'm reminded of her questions, "Dylan, Kelly by the pool today was asking if you were stressed and had too much on. You know how your Mum said Suzanne was looking for weakness well I think Miss Taylor is looking for some as well." He stops playing with my hair and turns from his book to face me. I turn and look at him, giving him a smile before lowering my eyes once again to the play, "I'm not sure if she does it on purpose or if it's subconscious but I just wanted to give you the heads up."
"I now know it's on purpose, before well I was an idiot, I was fooled. She will pretend it's not she doesn't like being called out for her manipulations." He looks at me and I once again lift my eyes from my page. "You seem very relaxed by the information."
"A significant chunk of your whole financial worth is in our joint account, you'd be crazy to do anything." He laughs at that and grabs the play holding it above my head raising his eyebrows, and lowering his chin to stare at me, "jokes, jokes." I touch his face, he softens. "Today, when I clocked her questions I just knew that she could attempt whatever but that you wouldn't be open to any of it."
He grows serious, places the play on the couch and rubs his knuckles down my check, "you trust me with you?"
"I do."
He leans down to rub our noses together his new favourite way to tell me if he could he'd be kissing me right now but he is waiting for me. It had been two and a half weeks since the bbq, since I told him I needed more time but yes I'd try again. I felt more confident in myself, I could hear my voice again, but the part that worried me still was the one thing holding me back. Dylan.
His support had been everything but that is what worried me. Was I falling into the trap I did when I came to Beverly Hills, being so unsure of myself and growing confidence through him? In my meditation sessions with Iris I had raised that concern, I wasn't worried about sharing the news that I'd like to try again. It also wasn't news to her, my future mother in law was not blind she knew there was a change since the bbq even if I didn't want to announce it yet. Her advice was I'd know, I'd know when I trust myself to be going into this relationship in a healthy way. I had worked through my trust issues with Dylan now I needed to work through my own, but god I want to kiss him now.