Authors Note: I own nothing. No ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210.

Sorry for the delay I was away on holiday's.

Chapter Forty-Three: Timing

Brenda for the fifth time in twenty minutes had looked at me, what had started as a look of amusement was now a glare. "Sorry."

"Stop apologising, would you like me to drive?"

"No I can manage."

"Are you sure I mean either your memory is like a goldfish, you're too thrilled to be driving your first baby or-"

"Or I'm just excited to get home and move into our room."

She sighs, "that's wonderful but if you keep driving this fast and if you keep cutting people off we may not get there at all. I'd like our son not to be an orphan and it would be nice to sleep in that bed at least once."

There will be no once about it, "we'll be sleeping every night in there."

She instantly sasses back, "not if you keep driving like this."

For the remainder of the drive home I work hard to control my lead foot, as we pull up at our gate and wait for it to open Bren gets a look of dread. "What what's going on in there? You aren't changing your mind?" Shit this couldn't be happening, we had been down at that beach talking for two hours I thought we had worked all of this out.

"Val. She's going to be insufferable, she said she'd get her room by the end of the weekend and now she's ahead of schedule."

The knot in my throat unwinds and then I can picture what was causing her fear our current houseguests amusement would be obvious. "She is very good at…" I am lost at how to phrase it with the respect and love our manipulative Buffalo guest deserves.

Bren though seems to have a clear understanding, "shifting us to do what she wants? I like to think Val is just playing chess I'm her queen piece."

I chuckle, "that actually sounds about right." As I drive into our garage and turn off the car I turn to her, "Baby is she serious about moving out here?"

"I think so she has a difficult home life. Her parents are best friends with mine and they are nice but Val has always struggled with them. I'm not sure what it is exactly Val is just not herself around them, it may be that she took on the responsibility of her little brother and sister too young but I remember it started even before that, maybe it's that she doesn't like that they are the authority figures in her life." She smiles at me and then try's to lighten the heavy tone the conversation has taken, "it might shock you but Val doesn't like following instructions and can be stubborn."

"Really? She seems like such a wallflower."

Bren smiles and then her face loses her lightness, "seriously though I don't think that situation is good for her and she has never wanted to discuss why. You know what she means to me and I know you told our brother's not to even consider it but if she wants to-"

"What's ours is hers right." I lift my hand and run my knuckles down the side of her cheek, "well except me I'm the only thing you want to keep for yourself." She gives me an indulgent look having spent at least the last hour since agreeing to the move entertaining me as I bask in these positive emotions.

I match her serious tone, "I called her a McKay, I'm sure you know this." She nods, "this is the McKay family home, she's family there will always be a place for her here. If it becomes longterm well Frank will be here to work on the larger library space once Malibu is complete." I ignore the roll of her eyes knowing she had yet to agree to any renovation, "at that point maybe we can discuss putting an apartment over the garage for her, she like Iris might like her own space to disappear to. In the meantime yes she can claim her room but your sleepovers have to stop, you are going to have to move your giggle sessions to non bedtime awake hours. From now on I'm the only person you'll have sleepovers with, starting with tonight. Now why don't we go inside to our room and you little Miss OCD can tell me which parts of the wardrobe are mine, I'll be moved in in like ten minutes then I can come help you."

"It's pointless to say I can move my clothes in gradually over the weekend isn't it?" Hell no I needed to know for sure that there would be no change of mind on this.

"Yes on this one I'm demanding everything in tonight." I think from my eyes she can tell I am finally being more assertive about my own needs here, something I had shied away from since I told her the details of that eighteen months.

She gives me an understanding look, "okay well let's go in and figure this out."

An hour an a half later I am just finishing putting fresh sheets on the third bed for the evening. Bren insisted that the master bedroom even with regular dusting by me would still need fresh bedding, obviously Val's room needed them and unsurprisingly Val was already in there planning how she can add the Val flare I didn't want to ask what that would entail, and then the guest bedroom needed them. The guest bedroom or future nursery made me smile every time I've walked past it in my endless endless way too many trips to move Bren's clothes into our room.

At one stage when I thought we'd never get to lay in that bed tonight I had begun to make a comment about the amount of dresses she had, I mean did she really need to keep the dress she wore to the Christmas dance in junior year? Val instantly shut me up with a look, when Bren had gone to our room with more clothing items she had clarified. "Sleaze heads up you share a wardrobe with her now do not make any comments on the clothes, some are sentimental other's are just well to suit her mood. If you do put your foot in this one I won't come to your rescue. Just accept it's a need like your many poetry books and move on." I didn't raise the clothes again.

Bren wasn't a mad shopper but it appeared since she packed up her bedroom at her parents that she liked to keep clothes of significance. I knew some but others like a light pink skirt that she had never worn I had no idea what's it's relevance was. By the time we were finished our dressing room was nearly all used up especially as Brenda insisted on space between clothes to ensure no wrinkles. I have no idea why my shirts were spread so far apart but after I had put them in there I had returned with my first load of hers to see that Miss OCD had taken to rearranging mine creating the gaps and colour coding. When I lifted my eyebrow questioning the rearranging she simply smiled and kissed my cheek before taking the clothes from my hands. Our dressing room I had begun to realise was literally none of my concern, it would be Bren's domain of organisation heaven.

By the time I was finishing Art's dream feed Bren was finally in our master bathroom having her first shower. When she came out in one of my t-shirts I was in our bed reading, "that is the best shower I've ever had I was seriously considering just moving in there."

I don't lift my head from my page as I respond, "that's fine it's got two shower heads so as there is room for me we can move in there."

As she climbs into bed I wait to see if she was serious about sleeping close to me. I'm relieved when she moves into the middle, lifts up my arm and then her head takes up residents over my heart with her hand resting on my stomach. "Sharing a bathroom together that's going to be different."

"Why it's not like we didn't share the one in our old house?"

"That's different. That was the bathroom for the family and guests, we coordinated timings to make sure we all were ready on time and we couldn't just have our stuff laying around, well I couldn't." I don't look down as I know she is referring to me not being as neat as her OCD ways. "This one though is ours no one else's, what if I need to brush my teeth or finish my makeup and your in the shower-"

I chuckle, "please you've been talking to me in the shower for years even before we started dating, I'm not sure why you'd be nervous about it now."

She laughs before her tone turns curious, "can I ask you something?"

And here I thought we weren't going to do anymore heavy discussions tonight but if she needs it then okay. I put my book down and rub my hand through her hair, "sure."

"It was a Jack and Jill bathroom two doors, you left both open knowing one was Brandon's room and I assume you knew the other must be my room, I mean surely you would have checked that no one was in there. Back then did you often just walk around peoples houses without clothes on?"

I know what she is really trying to ask but I'm going to make her work for it, "no I didn't just randomly walk around my friends houses naked."

She puts on a serious tone, "Dylan?"

I volley back with a sarcastic one, "Brenda?" She gently pinches my side, "ouch" I tug on her hair playfully in revenge.

"Did you leave the door open on purpose knowing I was upstairs walking around?"

"Would I have done something as brazen as that?"

I tried for mock offence, she didn't buy it. "You stepped out of that shower without a towel on in front of a large mirror when I caught you in there, yes I think you are that brazen."

I give in, "it worked didn't it?" Making sure she understood it wasn't a habit of mine I tried to explain further. "It had been weeks since my locker, since you held on tight to me in those little running shorts, and while I didn't know if you would walk in I did hope that I'd see you before you had to go to your babysitting job."

"Absolutely no shame."

"Do you wish I had shut the door?" She doesn't respond, "that's what I thought." I kiss her head. "I'll start leaving the bathroom door open when I'm in the shower make sure you know your welcome to relive that scene everyday or we could add to it I could leave the shower door open as well? Double shower heads."

She takes on her exasperated tone, "you are incorrigible."

"Damn right, that masterful stroke got me a whole evening getting to know you flirt with you, it lead to our first date."

"That date was only because Brandon got a cold."

"See destiny stepped in, shall we see what destiny gives if I leave the shower door open. Guest rooms are lovely but we have the den wouldn't another nursery be amazing?"

"I'm going to sleep now before I give you ideas and you concoct anymore scheme's."

I reach to turn off the light then drag us both down into a more comfortable position. As I run my hand through her hair I breathe deeply for the first time since yesterday morning, my family is all here and we are together. As if she knows what I'm thinking and she probably does she she turns and kisses my chest over my heart.

At six I'm woken as the bed moves, I look over to find my son finishing his morning feed and being burped by his mother, feeling my stare she looks over. "Morning. You okay if I join the McKay mens morning snuggle time?"

"Art and I would love that. Sorry I didn't get up for him-"

"You needed your sleep." Her face takes on a guilty expression. "You were serious when you said you didn't sleep on Tuesday night at all weren't you?"

"It doesn't matter now-"

"It does. Sorry when compartmentalising doesn't work running has become my other response, it's instinct avoid anything that is too much. It's different from when I did it at the end of sophomore year that was because I needed time to let my head and my emotions realign, now I just want to push anything that is too much away."

She places Art between us on his back, as normal he starts focusing on trying to capture his feet with his hands. "Your blood pressure you were checking it during Tuesday and Wednesday?"

"Yeah it was normal, increased slightly due to stress but back down to normal quickly." She lays down. "You think that I'm still worried that it will spike?"

"I'm not sure, you are a McKay though, all of us Jack, Iris, me and you are runners, hopefully we can avoid teaching Erica, Art and their siblings that strategy." We are quiet for a little while watching Art who is entertaining himself between us, I then decide to raise something that has been playing on my mind all week. "Bren, Val's comment when she first arrived about the birth, I asked Brandon about it and he gave me some more information. Thank you I know you were trying to give me everything I'd need to raise him by myself though that would be impossible without you. Hearing the details was hard, Brandon still seems to be struggling with the closeness of it-"

"He's struggling that he wasn't considered by me but no one really besides Art was. My parents I wrote a letter I needed to thank them for my upbringing and I needed to ensure that they knew my wishes that he was yours and you would solely make the decision for him. Iris got a letter as well, you may not like this but I wanted her to know what had happened and to make sure that if you pushed her away that she didn't move an inch. I wanted her to push back for the sake of you and her grandson, and that you needed to decide on how much my parents were involved she couldn't push them on you. I knew you and my parents were better but I worried that you would lose your power because it would be a lot to deal with and that they might resent you for me moving away." I hated these conversations because I hated that they were ever needed for so many reasons. She notices my energy, "you're angry?"

"I'm frustrated. I hate that your life was at risk, I hate it wasn't easy on you, I hate you were there thinking these things and yes I hate I wasn't there, that you decided for me that the possibility of seeing two people who I love pass in a year would be too hard. That regardless of Art that after the love we share, our history, our phone calls that you wouldn't want me to hold your hand. I'm hurt that you wouldn't know that if you did leave us, that that would be one of the biggest regrets of my life, not telling you in person what you mean and will forever mean to me. If I never got that chance, if the last time I saw you was breakfast at the Pit with everyone after we covered that sign, that the last time we were truly alone together was the morning of my father's funeral where you called yourself some girl. I'm-"

"Dylan I was not up for that or for Brandon. Steve didn't need that scene even now we are exactly what we are with each other. I love him he loves me, we are honest always and we have each other's back. Val well I asked for her not to come, her grief may have meant her anger at you may have been too exposed, my parents and family didn't need that, and you definitely didn't need that. But like Steve there is nothing left unsaid between her and I. There was a time when we were distant, me mainly I only wrote monthly for all of sophomore and junior year and while I spoke to her on the phone during our mother's regular phone chats I let too much space develop between us. She knocked me down for that around thanksgiving of senior year and we have been transparent ever since." She sighs, "but Brandon and you I could never be okay to say goodbye to and there was too much to say, I knew I would be too stressed to hear that. I could avoid you by you not being informed and I could hide from Brandon by focusing on the to do list. I get you both are resentful for that but it's not because I didn't feel anything, it's that for both of you I feel too much. He's my other half, he just balances me and understands me that is when he's not too lost in his ego, I wouldn't even know how to say goodbye to him. And then there's you and well you aren't that you are more."

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. Aristotle said that about a special kind of love that exists. I was reading it on Tuesday night, I think it's us. I think we are closer than two souls who are bound to bump into each other forever. I knew from the moment our eyes met I was home that you were mine and I was yours." I reach across our son and move a piece of her hair behind her ear. "I understand why you couldn't and wouldn't want me there I'm just thankful that you are safe, that you and Art are safe that I'm getting this time to set us right." We hold each other's eyes for a minute and only when Art let's out a particularly loud squeal do we break and see that our little guy has managed to rip off one of his socks. We smile at his achievement as the look on his face indicates that he is very pleased with himself.

"I should get up, Erica will be awake soon and she doesn't know about the move I'd like her to have as normal a morning as possible so she isn't thrown by this change."

"Before you get up can I suggest you have that chat with Brandon about your reasoning, I think he needs to hear it as well. That is when you are ready to talk to him."

She sighs, "that's today. Him and Val leave for the task force weekend tomorrow afternoon and well I don't want anything to takeaway his focus off his big event, and Val shouldn't have to spend her time reassuring him we'd be okay or reinforcing that he is an idiot."

I smile at her she had been processing Brandon's confession since Sunday night and was willing to make sure it was sorted so he could be focused for his big event. "You are a good sister."

"Yes and I'm going to make sure my conceited twin knows that."

During breakfast Bren and I let Erica know we have decided to move into the big bedroom together, we reassure her that if she needs us at night she can call out or come down to our room as usual. She's quiet for a moment and then looks at us, "does that mean you are boyfriend and girlfriend?"

I look to Bren we have never given ourselves a title so naming us at all is something I'll leave to Bren. She smiles at Erica. "Yes." Well that's good to know.

Our little girl smiles and then gets a look of concern, "do all boyfriend's and girlfriend's live together?"

Bren instantly understands what's going on in her young mind. "Not all, your Mum and Kevin don't and they may never want to. They may stay dating for years. But Dylan and I have decided we want to live together forever. You know how Dylan calls me a McKay even though my surname is Walsh?" She nods. "Well one day we'll get married and my name will change to officially be Brenda McKay, not all boyfriend and girlfriend's decide to do that." If there was any shadow of doubt left in me that we weren't secure Bren just eradicated it. She'd never say something to the kids unless she believed it to be completely true. My girl would one day be my wife.

"Do you think my Mum will decide to do that with Kevin?"

"I don't know sweetheart but I thought after seeing his lab on Monday you decided he wasn't all bad? "

"His lab is cool but I don't want to live with him and I don't want him around all the time." I look at Bren it's clear she is still unhappy about the prospect of Kevin in her life. Erica is quiet while she continues to eat her cereal. "Brenda if you change your name to McKay can I?"

Bren looks at me signalling that it's up to me to answer this. "Sweetheart you know we are all family that doesn't change with names and you are a McKay but your mum has given you her surname legally. It's like when Art was born Bren decided to give him my surname rather than her one. Your Mum and you get to share that name which is pretty cool."

"But I'll be the only McKay without the surname though?"

"No you won't Sweetie your brother has decided that he wants to adopt me into the McKay family, he's even given me my own bedroom here. Guess whose across the hall from you now?" Val's timing was impeccable.

Erica's giddiness at the prospect of being across from Val's room carries on until we drop her off at school. Bren and I then drop Art to daycare and as we walk together towards our first classes I wrap my arm around her. She looks up at me at the gesture. "Boyfriend's are allowed to do that."

"Oh really. What else are boyfriend's allowed to do?"

"Lots and lots of thing's I can write you a list."

"Please do."

"I'll leave it on your side of our bed or maybe in our wardrobe or next to your sink on our vanity in our shared bathroom."

"Someone's territorial today."

I ignore the remark, "should I include what future husbands are also allowed to do on that list?"

"I haven't said yes yet."

"Yes you did you told Erica, so that future Mrs McKay is a yes."

"Well this future Mrs McKay still expects a proposal."

I stop her and wrap both of my arms around her, "we'll get the proposal, the dates, the first date and the first kiss." I reach down and rub our noses together and then place a kiss on the tip, "but not now as we are going to be late for class."

"What happened to the rebel who used to skip class to go surfing or just when he couldn't handle it that day?"

"He's a father and future husband I need to grow up a little."

"Oh does that mean all the other fun Dylan stuff is gone?"

"Fun Dylan stuff?" From her blush I know what she is referring to, "oh no you should read my list future husbands have so many more opportunities for that, especially ones who are planning on a large family."

"Does this list only give rights to boyfriend's and future husbands?"

"Oh you better believe that girlfriend's and future wives have the same rights and are encouraged to utilise them often and as creatively as they like."

When we get to her building she looks at me and kisses my cheek and whispers in my ear, "I think I'm converting you. Baby you just flirted about making a list."

Fuck! Little Miss OCD was right, as she walks away very pleased with herself I call out, "it's not just a list it's a to do list, one that is going to be regularly repeated."

She turns back to me and gives me her usual sassy look, "whatever you say Mr OCD."

Dylan had been on cloud nine since I agreed to move into our room. You could see it not only on his face but his whole body had lost its tenseness though throughout the night I could see it seep in at different times, I knew he was fearful that it could be taken away but with each reassurance he became more settled into the feeling. I liked that me being with him created a physical reaction it made my own insecurities settle some. I also liked that I could feel and see him being more open with me, I had forgotten what it was like when Dylan felt he could trust me with all of him and wasn't being defensive or persuasive, when he was just letting me know and see all of him without filters allowing me to make my own judgments. Since that summer he had swayed between both stances, his phone calls to Minnesota had mastered the art of persuasion trying in every comment to prove I was wanted back. With all those filters removed and with me being more open about my defences, striving to dismantle them I was hoping that this could be our permanent state.

My morning on campus moved by as normal except when Dylan skipped meeting me for Arthur's mid morning feeding, today he would go and check on our son alone while I surprised my twin. As Brandon moved to exit his morning lecture his eyes instantly searched for mine, his twin senses must be firing. As he approached I gave him the coffee I had got for him, "thanks. This is a surprise both you and the coffee."

"Well it's time we get this sorted. Shall we go for a walk around campus?" He nods. We are quiet on leaving the building but as we walk down the stairs he starts.

"You and Dylan work it out, he was worried on Tuesday when you left?"

"Yeah we are good, living together and sharing a family doesn't give us the luxury of avoiding each other for too long, and we've made that even harder now." He raises his eyebrow, "we moved into the master bedroom last night I've got some anger still but Dylan does as well but even with that being worked through gradually we both want our lives to be together."

"I don't think it was a want with you guy's. I've learned you both are like water it doesn't matter how many barriers you put in your way you'll seep through anything to stay connected and eventually erode any blocks to get back to the other. It's a pointless exercise to try. Having said that if it's not what you want or if he is pushing you to give him more than you are ready for I'll keep fighting the losing battle?"

"No we are good, it's where I want to be. He makes me feel more at home in my skin and I know I do the same for him. Our history has some layer's of hurt and it was silly of me to think I could forgive and all would be right, that the pain would just stop existing. Dylan is feeling the same with the pregnancy, he gets the decisions and how they blew out of control but it doesn't mean he can make his feelings go away. We'll talk through it and hopefully we can get rid of the anger in time but we accept responsibility for causing it and understand why it's there which is good." I sigh, "talking about feelings, you hurt me. I know I'm hurt at your behaviour from well over a year ago and I know you've shown me you aren't that brother anymore but that you ever were is still hard to reconcile with. That you ever thought I'd become a person you'd hate, and that didn't love and respect me enough to be open and tell me how you were feeling is hard to accept."

"I know and I can't apologise enough."

"I told Dylan this morning that you are my balance you your weaknesses are softened by my strengths and my weaknesses are balanced by your strengths. I like to think that is how we were made, twins who compliment the other. It means that we are supposed to stick together. I always thought you wanted that as well for us to be close to be honest and to support each other."

"I do. I let this place change me, I let my ego cloud my judgment and I let my… I guess jealousy of you being taken from me cause me to react badly."

"He will never take me from you, he loves you too. You're his brother and you know that."

"I do but I wasn't prepared to have to lose you to this type of love so soon or at all. He's your world has been from the beginning, he even understands you better than I do."

"You know Dylan and I are completely different in regards to upbringing but we from the first instance have understood each other, I'm not going to disrespect that connection or him and pretend that he doesn't just so you feel better. But my relationship with him doesn't have to undermine or jeopardise ours, you've never had a problem with Val understanding me?"

"That's because she's Val she's been with us from the start, and she respects our bond and protects it-"

"And you think Dylan doesn't do that?"

"I think he wants you all to himself too often. I think there's not been a lot of space made for anyone else."

"That's me as well, I haven't made that space either. I can get better at that and well Dylan and I are not vying for time with each other between school, my curfew, and family commitments anymore we aren't dealing with this intensity as teenagers living at home. Brandon if you want time I'll make all the time in the world, you are- well you're my twin you are important to me, I need you. You are so important that I couldn't give you any goodbye before the birth it's why I gave you a clear to do list. If it was reversed and I'd been at risk of losing you I'd have needed that list, I'd have needed more details on that list like remember to breathe, eat, drink, sleep, put one foot in front of the other. Saying goodbye to you was impossible."

Somewhere along the way we had stopped and we were looking at each other, I knew he could see the truth in what I was saying. "How do I make this right between us? How do you forgive me for choosing others over you? For thinking the worst of you?"

"Val has been telling me for day's to yell at you but I don't have it in me as every time I want to I remember you holding my hair back every morning as I vomited before school, how you snuck food off my plate so our parents wouldn't notice me not eating much, how you stressed every time the doctor gave me bad news, how you took me to prom so I'd have that experience and how you went shopping with me beforehand so I could find a dress that made me feel okay when I was feeling so bad. I remember how you rushed to my side to be there for me with Art, and how at peace I was that if it did happen that you'd make sure that every bit of my wishes were seen to, how I knew my son would know me because he'd know you. What you did was horrible and I didn't deserve it, I've been a good sister, a good twin to you but your actions your thoughts don't outweigh the good. Your love and strength that I have relied on for fourteen months has meant the world to me. Making this right is achieved by being honest with me in the future and by remembering that before even our births it was the two of us that that has to count for something. I know there will be a time I'll have to make room for someone in your life and I hope they like me-"

"They have to. He's my brother I knew from early on in our friendship, I'd like to think that the girl I'm with will feel like your sister. If she doesn't like you well you are right we are the balance of the other it probably means she isn't seeing me properly." He looks at me seriously, "you sure you don't want to follow my wife's advice and yell at me?" I nod my head, "and are you sure we are okay? That you aren't just hiding your anger?"

"No I'm hurt and I know you're an idiot but genetically I also know you are predisposed to that as girls mature faster than boys, so no I can be the mature one and not get angry and just accept at that time you were going through a faze of being an uncommunicative, immature, jerk."

He smiles, "feel better?"

"Yes, and I needed to give your wife some proof that I didn't let you off too easy. Now speaking of your significant other, she has always referred to you as her husband since she was five you have not always reciprocated the endearment, what's changed?"

"We've been speaking a lot over the last fourteen months and well then there is Steve's new obsession. If he plays November Rain one more time I'm going to kill him."

"So jealousy, entitlement and ownership? It's Val we love her she's a part of our family she deserves more than just a pissing competition, she deserves everything."

"I know, I'm just trying to figure it out. She's Val and my track record isn't great on these things-"

He's right and I'm glad he can acknowledge it. "You fall fast and hard but it burns off quickly."

"I can't do that with Val she deserves more."

"You deserve more as well." I give him a sympathetic look, "just don't push it, don't let your jealousy push you in a place that is driven by your ego. If it happens then make sure it's because you can't not make a move. If it's real and it doesn't last it will be okay, but if it's not about her and you and instead is about you claiming a toy then you'll destroy your relationship. And when you make her list I'll let her keep you on it."

"She's moving out here right, Dylan at lunch the other day said it might be a possibility?"

"Looks like it, I think she's going to go home finish the semester there and have whatever it is out with her parents and then she'll come right back. Her and Iris are spending the day together decorating her room here and dropping past the campus for enrolment papers before visiting Nat for lunch. Does that change your thinking on whether you should or shouldn't?"

"I thought you you didn't want me to think that I should go with what feels right?" I raise my eyebrow he gets that I expect a better answer, "no it just means that she could be attainable I tend to go for the girls who aren't, it means I have time to spend with her and don't have to rush this."

"Just don't go at the pace of you and Andrea and play the maybe game with her. It wasn't fair on Andrea and it won't be fair on Val."

He nod's. As we begin the walk back to the main building for our next classes he changes the subject, "speaking of Andrea I spoke to her about the bathroom and about Tuesday. She's uncertain what this means for you all."

"Honestly I don't know. Kelly was at our last workshop yesterday before our audition tomorrow and she's good in the part, we don't see the character the same way but she can hold her Maggie for at least a monologue, she may get it. We didn't speak yesterday and Roy was kind enough to pair us up with the Mae callbacks to run through our lines while holding a southern accent. It meant I didn't have to engage with her. I just want to get through the audition tomorrow and then figure out where the dust has settled. I was thinking about the four of us going to dinner and hashing it out, I've said my peace and if I didn't say it Val said enough for the both of us. The hurt has been voiced I guess it's now time to figure out if and how we go forward. I know our high school friends don't have to be our friends for life but I also know friendship doesn't always run smoothly and fairly, if we can figure out where to go to from here maybe we can salvage this."

"Even with Kelly?"

"I don't know. I think if she gets the part I'll be hurt and I probably won't be open to anything further for a while." I'm quiet for a moment thinking about the importance of timing, for both Dylan and I our timing being off has made the damage worse, caused our hurts to blow up even further since that summer. Waiting till the play to work this out may seal our fate by default. "Roy is posting the final list on Sunday maybe I should plan the dinner for Saturday that way I'll be making whatever that decision is based on that not being a consideration."

"You'll have my support either way on any of it."

"Thanks I know that but it's good to hear it."