Authors Note: I own nothing. No ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210.

Note: Val's story is not disclosed at all but it is clear that her home life is not safe, if you want to skip that then jump past until the italics ends.

Chapter Fifty-Four: Oxygen

When I get to campus I park in our usual carpark and as I step onto the footpath I see Bren and Art sitting on a blanket on the grass. He's doing his tummy time well his now military shuffle/crawl and drool time- we are sure another tooth is getting ready to come out soon. She feels me approach and looks up, in less than a second she knows it was a bad meeting. I move down onto the blanket kissing my son's head before sharing a loving and restorative kiss with my future wife, that is if I can get this sorted soon.

"It's not you-" I go to interrupt but she stops me. "Baby it's not you. He likes order he likes things in the right box. I've been off script for a while and now Brandon is going awol as well. It's never been about you, it's always been about his need to make me into his little doll. He wanted Brandon to grow up and be his own man so they left him too much to his own devices, he clings to affection now; hopefully, Val can break that cycle of never ending girls that he seeks it in. Me though he wanted me to be the perfect example of Walsh virtue. Smart, confident- not arrogant, charitable, hospitable, well groomed, well spoken, have a successful but short lived career until I got married, Dylan he had it all planned. I imagine he thought I'd live next door or down the street from them, my husband would default to my dad's patriarch family lead. Knowing that do you think it's you he's really frustrated with? Do you see me ever being that compliant? That submissive?"

I smile at her, "while it might be fun to see the latter for an evening… aww woman that hurt." I rub my arm from her pinch.

She sasses back, "not submissive enough dear?"

I shake my head, smiling and laughing, "I'm buying you a dictionary I'll circle the meaning of the word for you." This time I grab her hand before she gets my arm again. I bring her hand to my mouth to kiss it. "I want you as my wife, I understand that you want this sorted either way. I don't care if your father will ever like me but today… Baby there's too much, there's too much to work through."

"Then I take that wish off the table and we get married… actually wait you need to ask first." She gives me an understanding look when I don't immediately respond to her teasing, "I can accept that this that my parents and our relationship with them will be left unresolved-" I stop her she won't be happy with that, in the long term it will always bother her.

"No. I want our wedding to be perfect, no regrets. If it's not sorted you'll always wonder if they could have been there I want you to know either way that the decision has been made, that we did all we could. I've stuffed up so much for us and we've missed out on sharing very important moments, our wedding won't be a casualty of the same fate I want it to be perfect."

She leans across and kisses me, and then as she pulls away she looks at me, "Baby you might need to find another girl to marry." My eyes go large, "when has it ever been perfect for us? Our fake first date, Palm Springs, our first I love you's, Spring Dance that matching dress, our adventure to Baja-"

"Our first date this time was perfect, everything about those hours was-"

"Magical. Fine we got one." I look at our son and raise my eyebrow at her, "okay that night was pretty amazing as well- so two."

"Should I list every breakfast, dinner, movie, bbq, beach morning, nights reading on the couch together, putting the kids to bed, listening to Art laugh, Erica telling us about her day, all those moments that we've shared as a family? Because every single one of them have been perfect."

She sighs, "fine I concede-"

"Are you saying I'm right and you're wrong? Shit I need to record this, maybe get someone to take a picture we can get it blown up for our study. Another perfect moment to add to the list." I pick up my son, "buddy did you hear Daddy's right and Mummy's wrong?"

She shakes her head, "you are so funny. Really hilarious, have you been getting coached by Brandon?"

I laughing lean in and kiss her, giving her soft kisses only moving away when our son decides he should use his hand and my jaw to make clapping sounds with. "I'm joking Baby. We don't need to make a big deal out of it we can keep you admitting you are wrong and me being right just as a special moment between us, commemorated with maybe a yearly anniversary dinner…" I quickly roll onto my back laughing, taking my son with me in an attempt to dodge her immediate response. Art's laughter at the quick moves causes me to laugh even harder.

She dives in and gives our son a kiss and then begins blowing raspberries on his belly. We are lost in the three of us just being together, my morning before this forgotten. When I know I've waited to the last possible moment I groan and stop our fun, "regretfully I have to get to class Baby."

We pack up the blanket and I kiss Art and then her goodbye, "thank you I needed that."

"Of course. When you get home you'll tell me about your phone call." I nod and kiss her lips one more time.

As I'm carrying Art back to the Jeep I feel someone come up beside me. When I smell their signature perfume I internally sigh. I don't even fake a smile when I look over at her as I keep walking, "hi. Sorry if this is about the calendar I don't know what he has decided yet."

"No I just saw you and thought if you have time maybe we could have a coffee? I mean we spend hours together each night at rehearsal and we never speak, I just thought…" I stop and turn to face her. She ignores my confused look and instead her eyes land on Art. "He's getting so big, still looks like a mini Dylan well except his eyes they are still all you."

"Kelly what's this about?"

"I was walking across the lawn…" she pauses and then looks up at me with a sad smile. "I've never seen him laugh like that, no that's a lie he was like that on the lawn after your first date in sophomore year. He was, he was just completely happy you can tell. I used to think I could make him lau…" she stops herself and then looks seriously at me. "We used to talk on the phone for hours- you and me could chat away about stupid stuff but it was always fun. We can't go back but it would be nice if we could have a coffee together, maybe pretend that we are still those girls from sophomore year who phoned each other ten times a day and jumped out of a plane together."

"Kelly why do you want to live in pretend? We are no longer those girls."

"Living in the past is all we'll have. I'm never going to be able to make what I did right to you, and rightly or wrongly I'm always going to carry that resentment, that feeling that I never really got my shot to see how he and I really could have been together." I don't know if I should be impressed that she is even humouring the fact that her perception is wrong, or angry that she still can't accept that it wasn't my doing, that he never wanted more with her, he was never really going to give her a shot. "Look we aren't going to be those friends again, we weren't those friends ever since that summer. The last time was just before you left for France, I didn't appreciate that that moment of us together, Donna upset with me not going on the trip and you speaking French would be the last real time we'd have that friendship. I just thought maybe we could appreciate it one more time."

I give her a look, she wasn't usually the sentimental type. "Kelly what's really going on?"

"Nothing I guess I'm just feeling nostalgic today. Our first year of college is coming to an end soon, and our group is pretty much completely destroyed. Do you know it's coming on a year since we slept out under the Hollywood sign? It was such a great night everyone was so happy-"

Yep, I almost caved I'm an idiot. "No, no it wasn't. I was nauseous still worried that I could lose my baby any day. I had no business being there, four months into a risky pregnancy sleeping on the ground with snakes and god knows what. Steve and Brandon on high alert all evening trying to make sure I was okay. Me being there only because I didn't want to disappoint people who had proven to not be my real friends, or raise suspicion; whilst watching the father of my child invite the girl he cheated on me with on a trip of a lifetime to Europe, and then watch them share a sleeping bag all night." I shake my head, "I'm not sure how I'm still surprised by your insensitivity, seriously take a course in empathy you clearly need to consider things from other peoples perspective. I've got to go."

Two hour's later when Art's asleep I'm still all hyped up by my run in with her, I call Val knowing it's her half day at College. It takes a few minutes to get past her mum who is pumping me for information I imagine to pass it on to my Mum. After the initial how are you's I fill her in on my midday encounter.

"She's a narcissist of course she doesn't have empathy. I imagine she has never even considered another person's emotions unless they have told her to, and even then she'll only consider to the extent of how they feel about her, just so she can figure out how to get them to worship her again." She sighs, "I hate that I missed that moment it would have been fun taking her down a peg or two."

I can tell by her longing tone she wants to be here and I can't imagine it's just to see and help me rip into Kelly. "You okay? You tell your parents about your move yet?"

"No. Not yet. I imagine I won't be welcome here once I do, especially when I blow up the illusion of this house."

There's a resigned sadness in her tone, "you know if you want to-"

"I know. I'm just not ready to tell you yet. One day I will, I'll tell you and my real family. Speaking of real family, can I ask a favour?"

"No favour, you know what's mine is yours, except-"

"Yeah yeah- Dylan is all yours. Look I was hoping that when I do get the courage to tell them after my last final- well I'll fly out soon after like two days at most, but I was wondering would it mess up your routines with the kids too much if I ask Iris to fly out to be here with me for those few day's before and after?"

That was surprising it wasn't like Val, it makes me offer more than she asked for. "We can all come if you want? You can have all the McKay family there, Brandon will be about to fly out to Washington but I'm sure he could come over night-"

Her tone is insistent, "no I don't want the kids here, and Dylan and Brandon well they might… look even far away in a hotel room I'd be worried with you all here."

She was worried about us being in town, it was a weird statement for her to make. "Val you are safe there, right? I know you and your parents don't get along but you are not in danger are you?"

I thought she'd instantly call me dramatic, and while she tries to laugh it off I'm surprised when I hear the lie in her breezy tone before she even says more than two words, "of course I'm safe. It's not a big deal I just thought Iris could…"

I stop her I don't need to hear her lie more, "I can arrange for her to be on a flight tonight. Talk to your lectures see if they can transfer your finals to be sat here at CU. If they won't maybe Brandon can ask the Chancellor to pull some strings or aren't you friends with his daughter now, Clare- I thought you guy's hit it off at the retreat sharing a room. Call her, see if she can ask. If that doesn't work then forget the college credits, you can do summer courses here, and catch them up."

My mind was moving fast, I had never thought she was unsafe in that home. I always thought it wasn't very nurturing or a loving place, and I knew they didn't understand her but I never imagined she was at risk. "Brenda I can't leave like that I need to try and get them to give me access to my College funds and-"

It didn't pass my notice that she was no longer pretending it was a safe place to live, "Dylan and I will pay for it. Val we'll pay for college, that's not something to worry about."

"No you can't do that, and even if I would let you you haven't even asked him if he would-"

"He called you a McKay that means in every way to him. You're his family, our family if you need help we'll give it. Can I send Iris to you tonight? She loves you she'll stay as long as you need her there, until you are ready to come home together."

She hears my urgency in my tone and sighs, "I'll talk to my professors tomorrow see if I can sit the finals by correspondence at CU. If Iris could come out this week that would be good. I don't know if it's possible but maybe we can be back in LA by Sunday night."

She was accepting my suggestions without a fight, what the hell house has she been living in for years? "I'll talk to her once we are off the phone. Do you need anything? I don't have any idea how security works but I'm sure Iris and Dylan do, we can arrange some? Get you a hotel room?"

"Bren I have lived with them for nineteen years I'm okay for a few more day's." That statement makes my blood run cold, it was confirmation that it wasn't safe. "Look it's just harder now after being with you all, feeling wanted out there. I know now that I have options that I'm not stuck living in this place with them. I thought I could make it through the few weeks till summer but it's just a lot now that I know I have a proper home to go to. Look I need to make sure my sister and brother are okay, I can't just leave them-"

"Have they not been?"

"No they are okay, I've made sure but I need to guarantee it if I leave, when I leave."

I hear in her voice that she doesn't want to say more. "Okay. You know I love you right? You're my sister. I'd say we are triplets but that's weird now with-"

She breathes out heavy and I imagine she is rolling her eyes, "we are just thinking about maybe seeing where it could go. We haven't even kissed."

"He called you his wife to Dylan on Sunday and was sprouting off your opinion as gospel."

"Well thank you I now know what I'll be teasing him about on our next phone call-"

"How often are you speaking?"

"Every few day's he calls."

"Should I tell him?"

"No. Iris, and Dylan of course I wouldn't ask you to keep secrets from him, but the reporter in Brandon won't settle till he cracks the case and I own my story, I want to own when I tell people. I'm owed at least that."

"Of course." I won't pry further. Not knowing what to do I try and give her something to look forward to, "if you are here next week you can go to the architect's meeting with us on Monday. He's going to show us the final plans for your apartment. It won't be ready till the end of summer but it will give you an idea of what will be there for you when you decide the main house with a loud toddler and a bubbly soon to be eleven year old gets too much."

"You know I don't mind the noise."

"You say that now but Dylan is talking about wanting a crazy amount of kids, I swear the man has no idea what he is signing up for. Anyway eventually you may want to find some more quiet."

"I can live with you that long?"

"Val, Dylan wanted a house a property that could be a compound, a place that his whole family could always find refuge. He lived out of hotels and didn't have a permanent place growing up- a place he felt safe and loved. He never wants any McKay to ever feel like that. You'll have a place with us forever a home you can always run to when the world gets too much, no matter how old we are."

Her quiet sniffling down the phone line is her only response, my tough as nails friend only breaks to me and maybe now Iris. I have never heard her like this though. I just sit with her not saying a word, giving her time to get herself calm. While that's happening Dylan walks in the house and as he is about to greet my stops instantly on seeing my face. He walks immediately over and sits in front of me on the coffee table. We instantly join hands. I mouth the word Val.

It's a few minutes more until she is able to sound like herself again and is joking that how did it go from a Kelly bitchfest to this. I laugh back and say well I'm glad it did, and now I'm thankful for Kelly's narcissism if it means she is going to be safe. Dylan lifts his brow at that but doesn't say a word. I tell her I'll talk to Iris immediately and see if we can get her a seat on a plane out tonight, if not tomorrow morning at the latest. Dylan nods his head and moves across the room to the intercom and quietly asks his mum to come up if she could.

I tell Val I'll call her back with the details as soon as they are all sorted and ask again about security. She dismisses it again declaring me as over dramatic, but for the first time I'm running nightmare scenarios through my head. I don't think I'm being dramatic at all.

Iris is coming through the door just as I've hung up, and after explaining my phone call. She gives Dylan and I a cryptic, tough skin is only formed through trials. Val has the toughest skin she's seen. She leaves to pack immediately while Dylan moves into the office and arranges her flight and hotel room. By the time I'm leaving for rehearsal Dylan, Iris and Art are in the car on the way to the airport so Iris can catch the next flight out.

When I get home that night I immediately go and feed Art and put him down, Dylan doesn't speak but stays with me the whole time. When we leave our son's room he takes my hand and walks me into our living room.

"What a day!"

"I'd ask if you are okay but I can't imagine you are. Where shall we start? My morning phone call, your dad, or Kelly?"

"Kelly is unimportant. It's more of the drama that I'm trying to remove from our life, if we keep giving her oxygen then that fire will never be put out. I think it's time to let that go and ignore her carryon. Her ability to impact on us is long over." He takes my hand and kisses it, he knows that it's me putting the final nail in the coffin that we are closing the door on that time in our history. In light of today even not knowing Val's story, I know that Kelly in the scheme of things will be a minor part of our lives. It's not worth any more of our energy, our regrets, our emotions, our time.

"Let's start with Erica she's the most important, what did Christine say?"