Authors Note: I acknowledge I have no ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210 characters or canon, the rest well yeah that's mine.

Chapter Sixty-Two: Problems and Shortcomings

Allan and Majorie had no idea what Jim and Cindy were going to do. A night of talking to them had left them none the wiser on if they would turn up today. It left everyone anxious, well everyone but Erica and Lottie.

Bren was trying to pretend to everyone she was fine, that it didn't matter either way, that she had everything she needed; and while I knew that was true to an extent, I also knew from Jack that the wanting of your parents' approval never really went away. No matter how much they don't deserve it, it never goes away completely.

Val was less quiet about her nerves over the situation, from my understanding Jim and Cindy had represented her ideal parents growing up; a misconception or an accurate assessment of the slither we all were able to see of their family. In high school, I saw it to be true as well but now seeing the full picture the truth- no one, no family is perfect. She had left her parents a week ago, and while that was a good thing, a great thing; potentially losing Jim and Cindy forever on top of that was making her more snappy. Iris as always was good at understanding her emotions, but it was Brandon who on walking in the house that morning and seeing his wife had simply gone and hugged her. He hadn't left her side for more than a minute since his hand was permanently on her lower back.

In one of the rare moments he separates from his childhood bride, to go and grab them both a drink, I corner him. Lifting my brow in question, he knows what I'm asking. "Jones, I'm going with my gut. While my sister may think I can't learn from my mistakes or take advice I actually can and am. You said go with my instincts, and my instinct is to make sure she's okay to stay close to her."

I squeeze his shoulder as I walk out to go and remind Erica to put sunscreen on before she gets in the pool. "That's a good instinct. It's the instinct I live my life by, the closer I can be to your sister the better."

He groans out the, "D!"

I laugh, "god it is the midwestern ones you have to worry about the most- gutter minds the both of you." The look on his face, the disgust of thinking his sister has dirty thoughts nearly made me feel another emotion; a level of happiness today, less nervous- well, nearly.

Once Erica and Lottie put on sunscreen and were patiently waiting for it to sink into their skin before jumping into the pool, I moved over to my girl. She had moved outside on the pretence of letting Art play on the steps of the pool kicking his feet to make loud splashes; in reality, I knew the mood in there was getting to her. There were only so many times she could say she didn't expect them to come, that it was their loss, or to try and force a mood or subject change before she needed to escape it all.

I sit next to her on the pool ledge with Art sitting between her legs. He is dangling his little one's in the water, happily kicking away. She's the first to speak. "He's going to love the Malibu house. I can imagine as he gets older he'll try to get us to move permanently there."

"Well like his father we are gods of the ocean." She puffs out a breath in exasperation.

"You are never going to let me live that down are you?"

"Nope, I love it. I love how you wanted there to be so many ties to me, even if I wasn't there. It lets me know that you never had any plans to keep him away from me."

"Nope. Even if he didn't come out looking like a miniature you, I was never going to deny who his father was, and I knew you would make an incredible Dad."

"Really?"

"Yeah. What sixteen-year-old says to his girlfriend, who brings up grandchildren three months into their relationship, let's take it one step at a time? I think most guys would have run for the hills."

"Nope, even then I'd have only run for the hills if you were running with me. Imagine if we had run away together when I asked you on that beach."

"You weren't being remotely serious in asking that."

"I was. I thought of taking you down to South America to Jack but that would have got him in more trouble if he was ever court; probably get him for kidnapping. Baja was an idea, but I decided that crossing State or international borders might be a bad idea. I was thinking maybe going inland a little. I could see us on a ranch, especially after you said how much you liked horse riding when you were young; you, me, horses, land, and lots of books."

She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "Perish the thought we would run away and not bring the sister-loving Lord away with us."

"Woman stop harassing Byron, and she was his half-sister."

"That doesn't make it even remotely better. Even for the time it was taboo. First cousins were fine, but Victorian England was not okay with even half-siblings. They had standards."

"Okay so his choice of who to love is wrong, but he did write some amazing poetry."

My off-the-cuff remark is like cold water on a freezing day, it instantly brings the mood down. "Is love a choice?"

"Yes, no. I think it's not a choice for you to feel the connection to another but it is a choice to pursue it. You know I knew you were my home from the moment I laid eyes on you, I felt it instantly with you at that locker. If I had a better emotional understanding I would have asked you out then and there, but I needed to figure out if I was ready for you, I had to get ready for you. I knew you'd change my life, more than you had in that moment." I reach out and touch her hair, "The love wasn't a choice, the timing though may have been, well when I didn't know the full depth of it. I didn't expect fate to step in. I wasn't expecting you to be there that day, I hoped but I wasn't expecting it exactly, I was both wanting to see you again and frightened at the thought. It took me a few deep breaths to gain my composure and be cool enough to come out from under that car. The scariest thing I have ever had to do, pursuing you, knowing what you are to me, knowing I may not have been ready for you- that I'd make mistakes. Trusting that you would be okay with them."

"Mr McKay, you are a romantic. I guess I can thank Byron for that."

"I think that's all you. You are the only one who has ever brought it out in me."

She tilts her head and rests it on my shoulder, "If they don't come today, once this investing business with Kevin is sorted I'd like to have my proper name. I don't want to wait."

"Is that you proposing because I kinda hoped I'd get to do that?"

"No, it's me saying you should start planning that."

"It's planned. It has been, well there have been a few versions of it. In Baja when we were shimming in junior year, I thought this is how I'd do it- you, me, dancing on the beach. I thought next time we were down there."

"Was that the first time you thought that?"

"The asking yes, but I had flashes of this is what I want my life to be. Making dinner together for our double date with Steve and- shit what was her name? Anyway, that night, I remember looking over and telling you that you were taken; I knew as I was saying it I meant for life. Listening to you watching that violinist, I began playing with your hand. You were so beautiful, so swept up in the music, I thought this is the person I want to see life with. I wanted to see everything through your eyes."

"I'd ask if it's living up to the expectation, the fantasy, but I know it has. It's surpassed every one of mine." As I lean over and kiss her head, I notice Erica walking around the pool to us.

"Dylan, can I go in yet? It's been fifteen minutes."

I shake my head, "Twenty minutes to absorb into your skin otherwise it washes right off. Why don't you come and sit next to us in the shade to wait? We haven't got much time with you this weekend and we miss you."

She beams a smile at us, "You do?"

"Of course we do sweetheart. Dylan, Art, and I, well the house isn't the same when you aren't with us. A big chunk of our family is missing, and while it's wonderful having everyone here, we are missing our family time with you."

She comes over and I move slightly over so she can sit between Bren and me. "I wish I could be here all the time, especially after next weekend. I don't want to live with Kevin."

I give Bren concerning eyes over Erica's head, we didn't want her living with him either. We can't say that though. Bren tries to be as honest as we can, "Sweetheart Suzanne would miss you if you weren't there."

"Maybe."

Thankfully the moment is interrupted by our blonde brother doing a cannonball, wetting each of us. Art luckily giggles- it could have gone either way, but I think having missed his Mum recently everything today was fun because he was in her arms. Another thing he inherited from me.

It was approaching eleven when the phone rang. I was just checking on Art who was napping in our room. My only thought as I rushed to the phone was that it better not wake him; he was a nightmare if anyone interrupted his nap time, he was just like his father before he became a father.

"Hello."

"Brenda, it's Mom." I don't know why she clarified who she was, was it fear that I'd forgotten her voice after so long or because she was nervous?

"Hi."

"Your father and I are hoping the offer for lunch is still okay?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Good. It would be nice to see everyone before they go back, see our grandson; I bet he's bigger." I hope she knows what coming to lunch implies, that it's not a one-off. That it will be an acceptance that this is my family and that they are willing to support my choices.

I didn't say it though, I didn't want to be the first one to make this difficult.

"Yeah, he is."

She's quiet for a long time, "Brenda this is hard for us. Your father and I, well we didn't expect you to grow up so quickly. This time last year, you were still receiving an allowance and you had a curfew- it's many significant changes quickly. It's also been difficult to realise how much we didn't know, how maybe we weren't as close as we thought we were. We always said you could tell us anything; you and Brandon. To find out this was kept from us, how serious it was, how we could have lost you. It's been very hard on us, it's been very difficult to accept that how we saw our family was different than our kids."

I can appreciate some of what she is saying, though it doesn't take away the last few months. "It was a lot of change, a lot of information quickly, maybe too quick. Maybe I should have warned you before you came at Christmas, got Brandon to tell you. Maybe it was too much, but Mum it doesn't excuse the fact that Dad has been trying to gain back control of us like Brandon and I are his employees and that you let him."

"No… I know that. Well, I'm learning that is maybe how you both see it. You are a parent now, Art relies on you for everything, and as he grows up that changes. I'm sure you don't think you will ever be redundant to him, that your place in his life is expectable."

"Neither of Dad nor yours is either. You and Dad are the only parents Brandon and I will ever have, but we are growing up, grown up. You can't dictate or be heavy-handed in telling us how to run our lives. We will make mistakes in our decisions and our actions, but you can't make us fear that or control us in an attempt to make us avoid all risks. Mum, Dylan is not a mistake or action I will ever regret, the only regret I would have is if I didn't fight for him and me, harder. He makes me happy, I make him happy, and us being together makes Art happy. I shouldn't need to have to tell you that for months on end for you to realise that it's true, that I know my mind. I've always known it, that's why you have called me stubborn my whole life."

"Brenda, you know I always liked Dylan, but you have to admit that for your father and I, this relationship hasn't always appeared healthy. It hasn't always been positive, it's hurt you emotionally and physically-"

"Dylan was not to blame for me getting sick, he wasn't to blame for me getting pregnant. Both of those things were simply me falling into the one-in-a-thousand chance. It had nothing to do with him."

"He didn't make it easier for you."

"And neither did you or Dad. I could have come to you straight away when I found out, but I didn't. Even before I knew how risky the pregnancy was, I chose not to turn to either you or Dad. What happened after Baja, the days before and the weeks that followed, shipping me away to Paris because neither you nor Dad wanted to deal with me anymore. I was such a problem that you literally sent me away so you could enjoy your summer. I never told you how hurt I was from all that, I was grateful to see Paris, but I was hurt that you sent me as a way of controlling me, getting what you wanted- me away from him." I breathe and try to keep my tone light and down, I don't want Art to pick up on any negative emotions. "Dylan isn't to blame for that, on you and Dad not knowing; that was between us. He isn't the scapegoat for our family problems."

I hear her discreetly sniffle, "I guess that's another realisation that your father and I never saw. We didn't realise there were that many family problems."

"Mum, maybe it's all the reinforcement you got from everyone when we moved here, maybe because you and Dad heard everyone say how perfect we were and you both were, maybe you believed it too much. No family is perfect, no person is perfect, and that's not me saying we are all a lie, that it was all an illusion. I'm just saying that our challenges as a family don't rest on Dylan's shoulders. They don't rest on mine either. There is enough fault to go around. Dylan and I have dealt with his and my issues, and Brandon and I have worked on our problems, to do that we had to be honest about it all, we had to want to make it better. We also had to own what we did, and what we individually did to help create the problem. I'm not saying that needs to be done today, or that it's easy- believe me, it's been hard at times, painful. I am saying though, don't come today if you don't want to put that effort in. Don't come and form a superficial relationship with us; I just stopped being friends with the girls for that exact reason. Because we couldn't be honest enough, own our parts enough to move out of the superficial."

"As a mother, I'm sure you can understand why I don't want those superficial relationships around my kids, I want them to grow up and know the importance of family and friendship. To know to be real when you are in those relationships, that you can trust them and the people you form them with."

She's quiet again but as I hear her shift I can imagine she is pulling herself together, putting her resigned Mum face. "Okay, your father and I can do that. We can be open to working this all out. I can't promise it will be easy for us, but we will keep trying. Your brother, you, our grandson are worth the effort." While I wish she could have included Dylan and Erica in there, I knew that she and Dad didn't know the latter well enough, and hadn't let go of their animosity against the former enough to include him, and them into the family.

"So it's still okay if we come up?"

"Yeah, it's okay. I can't control my grandma's-"

"No one has ever been able to. While my Mum may appear sweet and is, she can throw out a passive-aggressive line like the best of them. Georgette… Well, your Dad and I know that her disappointment in us will take some time to mend. Be glad you got Iris." I laugh, Grandma Walsh was feared by all; her daughter's-in-law never had an easy time. "Can we bring anything with us?"

"No, it's a beautiful day so it's just a BBQ out on the deck. We should be eating around twelve as I need to leave for the theatre at two."

"You are going to see Kelly's performance. That's good of you."

"Well, if it was anyone else in that role it wouldn't have been a question. Roy said she wouldn't mind, though I don't think he's telling her until after the performance." Just then my son starts to make moaning awake noises. "Mum I have to go, Art's waking up from his nap. Just come up whenever you like, everyone is currently out by the pool just chatting."

"Okay, we will be there soon."

"And Mum, thank you for being willing to make the effort, but please know that this is mine and Dylan's Family and House. Neither of us should be made to feel uncomfortable or disrespected in it."

"We understand."

As I was changing Art's nappy, Dylan came in. He knew instantly that I was less nervous. Once I filled him in on the call he kissed my head and asked if he should let everyone else know. I nod, I wasn't up for the dissection, going over and over each line repeatedly with all of them.

Once I had changed Art and put some baby sunscreen on him, I read him a story on our bed; tonight would be my last performance. I had loved every second of it but had missed my family. Missed these moments.

Brandon just winked at me when we came out of the bedroom and proceeded to steal Art away, seemingly the grandmas wanted more great grandchildren time before they left. Brandon was facilitating their wishes because perish the thought he wasn't the favourite in either of their eyes.

I find Val and Iris in the kitchen making the salads, "Val I thought you were going to put an end to my brothers' obsessive need to be seen as perfect."

"Now did I say that?" I give her a look, she knows she did. "Okay fine, but not when it comes to the grandma's. I have no desire to get the pull out on the 4th of July, the party your brother has agreed I would attend without asking. He's been advised that the sofa bed which dips in the middle-"

"Dip's because you and I jumped on it too much as kids."

"Brenda, that's beside the point, I don't want to sleep on it, and I have advised your brother it's his responsibility to ensure I don't have to since he said I was going without even asking me."

I shake my head, "You are really milking his foot-in-mouth incident yesterday."

"Of course, it is my prerogative to do so, I mean as you said your brother needs to know he's not perfect- who better than his wife to let him know of all his shortcomings."

I lift out a platter of vegetables and dip from the fridge and shake my head, I wanted Brandon to have a healthy ego, I was now starting to fear with Val he would have none.

She must read my expression that I thought I was carefully masking, "Stop it with the fear. Your brother will be fine, and anyway, a lot of powerful men love it when a beautiful woman wears the pants." My disgust at the innuendo she was aiming at my brother was an expression I didn't try to mask. "God, Dylan's right you do have a dirty mind. I meant that innocently."

I roll my eyes, sure she did.