Hiei paced Kurama's living room as silently as possible while spitting out nasty curses at himself. 'How could I have hurt him?! I shouldn't even be here. I should have stayed with Mukuro in the demon realm! At least there, I know what I'm doing. But I have to stay. At least until I know that Kurama is well.' Hiei thought. With his mind made up, he moved to the couch, where he lay down and closed his eyes. Yet, he couldn't sleep. All he could wonder was how things had ended up this way.
When his team parted ways, Kuwabara was the only one who had cut the Makai off entirely. Yuusuke, Kurama, and himself were content to continue work there. Yuusuke and Kurama made regular trips back and forth, each for their own families, while Hiei stayed full-time. Occasionally, the three of them would meet with other friends to catch each other up on events and enjoy jolly banter.
During their first meet-up like this was when he and Kurama realized that there was something more between them. It took some strong alcohol and teasing from their friends to initiate the first tentative kiss, but after they had their first taste, the floodgates opened, and nothing could tear them apart, much to the slight regret of their friends. He and Kurama would frequently meet after that, fleeing to each other when needed, exploring what the other had to offer.
After some time, Yuusuke's trips to the Makai became less frequent, opting to spend more time with Keiko. Kurama's responsibilities in the human realm also kept him from returning to the Makai for the better part of the year. Hiei started noticing how empty he felt without the fox by his side, which was made worse by knowing they weren't even in the same world. Eventually, Kurama came to him to say that he would not be returning. Hiei had been too dumbfounded to argue or even think, only able to wrap his arms around Kurama and hold him as tightly as possible. After a long, drawn-out, and bittersweet kiss, he let Kurama go.
It had taken many days for the realization to sink in. Even if he were gone for most of the year, Kurama would still check in on him somehow, and when he didn't, Hiei could find him with his Jagan to ensure he was alright. This time, there was nothing, as if what they had shared had never happened, as if Kurama had never existed. The more time that passed, the more miserable he felt and the more Hiei realized, all too late, that he had fallen desperately in love with Kurama.
Hiei had been like a machine shortly after Kurama had left and hadn't heard from him. He threw himself into his work, falling into a monotonous and unfeeling routine. Mukuro took notice and reached out to him, concerned about her right hand, which seemed to spark some life into him. That spark, however, led him to realize the magnitude of his feelings and he began acting rashly, lashing out at subordinates and doing sloppy work. Mukuro gave him a thrashing then, throwing him out and yelling at him: 'Find your damn fox! Sort yourself out or never return!'
So here he was, having finally found Kurama again after years of being in the dark, only to see that the fox had found another mate. Hiei clutched at a pillow out of frustration, about to tear it apart, when he caught Kurama's scent coming from it. He eased his grip as a wave of despair overtook him, clutching the pillow to his chest instead and breathing in deeply. He suddenly felt very tired. He pushed all thoughts of the human female that he had seen Kurama with out of his mind and fell into a deep, disturbed sleep.
Kurama awoke around midnight feeling parched and lazily got out of bed to go to the kitchen and get water. On his way back to his room, he sleepily glanced toward his living area and noticed something on his couch. Hiei. All at once, he remembered what had happened and stood there stunned. Kurama rubbed his eyes, not entirely trusting them, before moving towards the sleeping form.
'So it wasn't a dream after all,' Kurama thought in awe. He lightly brushed Hiei's hair from his forehead, watching it fall back into place. The movement felt so natural to him but made his heart twist with pain. He traced a finger lightly along Hiei's cheek and jaw, admiring his sleeping face like he had countless times before. Stopping at his chin, Kurama delicately traced his thumb along Hiei's bottom lip, standing there frozen in place as he struggled with his emotions. Kurama sighed and pulled his hand away, opting to run it through his hair, gripping it tightly and screaming internally as he walked away.
He paused. Taking a deep breath, he turned toward Hiei again. He knew from experience that Hiei was a heavy sleeper at times, so he took Hiei into his arms and made his way towards his room. Kurama didn't want to admit to himself how wonderful it felt to have Hiei in his arms again but still took great pleasure in feeling Hiei's body pressed against his. He put Hiei on one side of the bed, tucking the covers around him before heading toward his closet. He realized that he had fallen asleep in the clothes he had worn to the movies, so he pulled out a change of clothes. He quickly glanced at Hiei, unsure why he felt self-conscious. Confident that Hiei was asleep, Kurama slowly removed his clothing and slipped into something more comfortable to sleep in.
Kurama didn't realize that Hiei had been awake the entire time, ever since he heard Kurama get up from his bed. It took great willpower not to move as Kurama caressed his face, wanting nothing more than to kiss him when Kurama gently touched his lips. Ultimately, he was glad he had stayed still since he could feel Kurama's arms around him again, feel his warmth, and hear his heart beat strongly in his chest. Hiei smiled to himself, now glad to have had a glimpse at the fox's perfectly sculpted body. He took in as much as possible in the low light, committing as much as possible to memory. Then he closed his eyes fully and let a deep slumber overcome him again, though he felt at ease this time.
Kurama went to the bedside opposite Hiei and slipped in between the covers. He turned his face towards Hiei and stared at his sleeping face awhile. He breathed deeply and slowly, Hiei's scent relaxing him. He had always smelled of nature and metal - grasses, trees, copper, and steel. He adored the scent and refused to let himself dwell on how long it had been since they had been this close. Instead, he closed his eyes and, smiling to himself, he fell asleep.
The morning came too soon, or so Hiei thought as he opened his eyes to the first morning light. He was about to stretch when he realized he was in a fierce embrace with the redhead beside him. Their arms were tightly wound around each other, their legs tangled, and Hiei's head was comfortably nestled in Kurama's neck. Hiei smiled as he gathered Kurama closer, searching for more warmth and contact. He closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them again, his eyes met with the slender column of Kurama's throat. He licked his lips as he watched Kurama's pulse under the delicate skin, knowing he couldn't resist.
Ever so slowly and gently, as not to wake the slumbering fox, Hiei started planting open-mouthed kisses along Kurama's neck, gently sucking, nibbling, and licking as he roamed. Kurama tasted just as he remembered, and Hiei was starting to feel intoxicated. He slowly moved upward to Kurama's face, trailing kisses along his jaw and cheeks. When Hiei met Kurama's lips with his own, he kissed them gently at first, tentatively deepening the kiss.
He heard a sharp intake of breath that alerted him to the fox's awakening. Slowly, Kurama returned the kiss, trailing his hands over Hiei's body. He barely opened his eyes and met Hiei's gaze, as if to confirm that he was really there, before they fluttered closed again. How long they had wanted to do this, they didn't know, but it had seemed like a thousand lifetimes since they were separated. Hiei didn't seem to have the willpower to stop, but he also couldn't keep doing only this for much longer. He slowly ran his left hand up to Kurama's head and softly fisted his hand in the silky hair, hearing the fox give a soft moan. That only served to fuel him. He used his right hand to prop himself up while slowly settling Kurama onto his back and moving to straddle his hips.
Hiei started running kisses down Kurama's face, then his throat once more, feeling Kurama's hands wrap themselves around his shoulders, moving to entangle his fingers in Hiei's soft hair. The soft moans escaping his lips were agonizingly beautiful to him, and he wanted to hear them more. He started to open Kurama's shirt when he heard Kurama's voice in his ear.
"Hiei..." Kurama moaned softly. It was thick with lust and sleep, and Hiei savored it. He looked up and found Kurama's heavy-lidded yet alert green eyes staring into his. There was a look in Kurama's eyes, but Hiei couldn't really place what it was.
"Good morning," Hiei said with a slight smile, happier than he'd felt in ages.
"Good Morn… Hiei, what…?" Kurama asked, stumbling through his words as he sat up slowly.
Hiei's eyes widened as his smile fell. "I-I was…I thought…" Hiei couldn't quite finish what he was trying to say, mainly because he didn't know what to say. The sudden realization that Kurama might not have wanted him to do what he had done struck him with such a force that he couldn't even think.
Before they parted ways years ago, Hiei was so sure that Kurama was his and that all he needed to do was fully confess his feelings, more than just soft caresses and fervent kisses, and that everything would fall into place. But that was a long time ago. Time had passed, and things had changed. Kurama had another mate now. He didn't know why he expected to be able to pick things up where he thought they had left them. Quickly, he lowered his glance and blushed furiously. Getting up quickly, he bolted from the bed and approached the door.
"Hiei, wait…!" Kurama pleaded as he grasped Hiei's wrist. Kurama waited for Hiei to snatch his wrist away, but he never did. He just stood there, perfectly still, which unsettled Kurama greatly. "Hiei, I-" Kurama tried to explain. "I don't- I mean I... You…We…Gods, this is frustrating!" Kurama raked his fingers through his hair, seeing Hiei's head lower slightly and turn away more so that he couldn't see his eyes.
Kurama's heart gave a lurch. "Hiei, I didn't mean that you were frustrating. I don't know how to deal with this, and I never expected any of this to happen again…ever! I thought I would never see you again," Kurama lowered his gaze. "I just don't know what to make of it. I don't know where this would lead. I don't know if we can do this or if we should." Kurama's voice softened, barely above a whisper. "And I'm unsure if your feelings for me are the same as mine…" Kurama looked up then and felt his heart sink as he watched Hiei's shoulders sag in defeat. Kurama pulled Hiei's wrist slightly towards him. "Hiei, I-"
"No!" Hiei yelled. He jerked his wrist away and made his way to the door. At the same time, Kurama got quickly out of bed and attempted to follow.
"Hiei, wait! I-" Kurama couldn't finish as he gave a sharp cry of pain and grasped his head. His head was throbbing once more with searing pain, and the room had begun to spin. He started to swoon and was about to stumble when he felt Hiei's arms around him, helping him stay up.
"…I told you to stay in bed," Hiei said softly as he led Kurama back to his bed and sat him down slowly. Hiei hooked his finger under Kurama's chin and tilted his head up, brushing Kurama's hair away, and examined his face with his other hand. "You're turning pale," Hiei stated, but his face showed no signs of any emotion.
"Hiei, I-" Kurama started, but his words died on his lips when Hiei pressed a finger gently on them, watching as Hiei's gaze lingered there.
"Hush… We'll talk later. Get some rest." Hiei said and started to leave.
"Hiei! Don't leave!" Kurama pleaded.
"I'm not leaving. I'll be outside." Hiei said, no feeling in his words.
"I meant don't leave me! I need you!" Kurama said suddenly. Hiei stopped abruptly and turned around. His eyes were wide, and his mouth was slightly agape. Kurama had the urge to look away but didn't. "I want you to stay here-with me," Kurama said, stretching his arm towards Hiei. "Give me your hand." the fox said cautiously.
Hiei moved slowly closer but in no way made a move to give Kurama his hand. "You're the one who left," Hiei's voice was barely audible. "You're not making sense," He glanced up with a look of incredulity.
Kurama leaned forward slightly and took his wrist. "Hiei, I've always had feelings for you…" At this, Kurama felt Hiei's pulse quicken. "But we've been apart for so long, and you appeared so suddenly. I didn't know how to react, and my current situation is rather… complicated,"
Hiei looked Kurama in the eyes. "Complicated…?"
"I-" Kurama looked down. "I'm seeing someone right now…" Kurama looked up to find Hiei's red eyes still staring at him, an intense pain within them.
"I noticed," Hiei stated plainly.
"You saw..." Kurama said, though not as a question. It further explained why Hiei had been angry. He wondered what Hiei might do, many possibilities racing through his mind, but what he did was anything but what he expected. Hiei twisted his wrist around in Kurama's hand until their fingers interlocked, moving closer and staring Kurama down onto the bed. He straddled Kurama, leaned closer, and kissed him deeply, still holding his hand.
"You belong with me. I'll make you forget all about her." Hiei murmured into Kurama's lips.
"Hiei, we can't do this…" Kurama protested weakly, but his body betrayed him. He arched up instinctively, wanting as much contact as possible, his mouth opening to consume as much of Hiei as he could. He made an effort to push Hiei away with his free hand, but Hiei quickly grasped it and held his arm by the wrist, pinning him down to the bed. Hearing Kurama moan as a result, he started to run hot, open-mouthed kisses down Kurama's throat. When he encountered Kurama's shirt, he quickly disposed of it by ripping it off with his teeth, purposely not using his hands so as not to let the fox pull away. He kissed him lower, feeling Kurama shiver underneath him, and glancing up to see Kurama staring at him, his green eyes heavy-lidded with lust. Kurama smiled slightly.
"Hiei…" It was a weak protest and a desperate plea. Hiei smiled as he followed his trail of kisses back up to Kurama's lips and lingered there for a while. After some time, they both had to stop to get some air.
"Have you forgotten her?" Hiei asked expectantly.
"Forgotten who?" Kurama asked, truly not knowing who Hiei was talking about. His head felt deliriously dizzy, and his heart started feeling full again. Hiei smiled to himself.
"Good." After another not-so-quick kiss, Hiei got up and off of Kurama. Not knowing what would happen next, Kurama just lay still and looked up at him. Hiei bent over Kurama and kissed his brow gently right beside the wound. "Get some rest," Hiei said and turned to leave.
As soon as he saw that Hiei was leaving, with no intention of continuing, he felt a bit flustered. "You can't just leave," Kurama complained. He got up quickly but, with a throb of his head, thought better of it and lay back down. Hiei turned around and looked at his lusty fox.
'My fox. I like the sound of that.' Hiei thought to himself.
"I don't think I could control myself if I stayed," He said as he turned back around and closed the door. 'And I don't think I could handle your regret if we went too far,"