It takes Buffy a couple of moments to work out that there's still something wrong after she came out of the void. She finishes making her way across the street, and stops outside the spa. As she's trying to find the courage to open the door and walk in, someone she'd dismissed as a threat walks into her. Immediately her reflexes kick in and she throws the woman over her shoulder and snaps her arm in two places. She's about to drive her fist through the woman's head when her thoughts catch up with her actions, and she steps back shakily.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"
Whatever she's about to say is interrupted when a nearby cop runs into her, almost bowling her over, and her training kicks in again. Along with the loud snap of the man's knee, followed by the pop of his shoulder dislocating. This time, rather than trying to say anything, Buffy flees, desperate to get away from civilians. Once she starts to recognise her surroundings again, she slows down, and heads towards Maple Court.
As Buffy approaches the door to Magic Box, she slows down to a slow walk rather than the agile jog she was using. The last thing she wants, is to have someone walk into her.
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Anya and Xander are both talking about the wedding, and who they should invite. Willow is sitting at the round table doing some work on her laptop.
Suddenly, a scream rends the air, and the door to Magic Box opens and closes with apparently no one walking in. Xander grabs one of the ever present stakes, and turns around to face the room, scanning it to try and see whatever it is that caused the scream. Suddenly, something takes the stakes away from him, and Buffy's voice says.
"Xander, I know you're stronger now, but that's no excuse for not using a proper weapon. Now I'm going to put this away before you poke someone's eye out with it."
From the table, Willow calls, "Buffy, what happened to you?"
Buffy replies near the back door, "I got hit with an invisibility ray that some idiots were fighting over."
The door to the training room opens, and then closes again, and Willow asks, "Are you ok?"
Buffy comes back and pulls a chair out, "I don't know yet, I know three possible methods to turn something invisible with only technology. Given that I'm not dead yet, that leaves two viable methods. Only one of which is safe long term."
Willow goggles at Buffy, "You do?"
While Anya calls over, "How do you know it's not magical?"
"You can't see me nodding or shrugging, can you. Anyway, it's an assumption on my part, given that they had a device around the size of a grenade launcher. And it shot something out of a barrel. Then that black van tore out of there while I was still processing what was going on."
Willow looks at where Buffy's voice was coming from, "Where were you when you got hit?"
From the by Anya's table plan, Buffy says, "I'd just got my hair styled, and I was going to the Spa for Vhesthine. What is this for? Oh, and can I use your phone to call home please?"
Anya smiles, "This is the seating plan for the wedding reception, we're trying to work out where to seat all the guests. And sure, as long as it's the land line."
"Ok, where's the quantum phase projector and the Æther transducer you'll need to make your oro's solid enough for the Archimedean to transfer?"
Willow watches in fascination as the handset to the phone lifts up without any apparent cause, "What do those two things do?"
"The quantum pha… Oh, hi Vhesthine. Um, I just need to run a problem past you… I'm invisible, and I've already broken one woman's arm in two places. The knee of a cop, and dislocated his shoulder. Broken three ribs on a delivery driver that knocked into me, and just dislocated the hip and elbow of someone outside Magic Box... Yes, I'm serious… I got my hair done, but I didn't get into the spa… I hope you like it… Do you think being invisible will be a problem for Razial tonight?... Apparently, things I pick up remain visible… Yes… Yes… Willow's here… So are Xander and Anya… If Tara's there, I'll wait while you ask her…" The handset turns around to face Willow, "Sorry about that, the quantum phase transducer is one of the methods of turning something invisible. It's also the dangerous one of the two that aren't immediately fatal for non-ship sized beings. She's back… That was quick… Oh great, I'll ask. Willow, Vhesthine wants to know if you'd be willing to walk me home so that I can get changed for work. Tara's there and she doesn't seem to mind."
Willow looks confused, "Tara should be at college, she has a class Tuesday afternoons. Just before my one."
"I don't know, but you could ask her if you walk me."
Willow thinks for a moment, "Ok, I'll do it."
"Great, she'll do it… How's Dawn?... I hope she wakes up soon… See you soon."
Buffy puts the phone down, "Thanks Willow. Where was I?"
Anya interrupts, "What's wrong with Dawn?"
Buffy sounds serious as she says, "An incubus got her."
Anya's hands fly to her mouth, "Oh my god, is she ok? Tell Tara and what's her face, that we'll be round as soon as Magic Box closes."
Choking up slightly, Buffy says, "I keep forgetting how good friends you were with Buffy. I'll let Vhesthine know before I head out to work. As for Dawn, so far as we can tell, she's ok. However, she's currently a succubus, which is why she was taken. Vhesthine and I have been taking turns to feed Dawn, but Vhesthine's going to need to hunt soon. And, well, Slayer or not, it takes me time to restore my essence. Also, I don't think I'm up for hunting like she does. Maybe I'd take one for the team if Vhesthine was dying. But, I don't know what I have with Vhesthine, apart from the fact she makes me happy. However, I've never felt that way for a non-mono-gendered species."
Xander holds up his hands, "Wait, back up. What do you mean by that?"
Buffy huffs and asks, "What, mono-gendered, or never felt this way?"
"Um, both? What about Angel."
"Oh, I thought I'd had that conversation with you already. So, when you resurrected me, you took me from another life, where I've been alive for over 1,000 years. So I don't remember much about my life in this world. To the point I call past me Buffy Summers. Honestly, I'm more BunnyGirl than Buffy, but Buffy's what my mother called me, so when I got my memories back, I took the name Buffy again. As for mono-gendered, it's exactly what it means. They only have one gender. Humans have a gender binary, and as a result, it gets blurry in the middle as nature's messy."
Anya looks up, "Did you say something about taking turns feeding Dawn? Don't you, you know, have the wrong anatomy for that?"
Buffy's expression comes through as she says, "Ewww, no. Vhesthine fed me once when I'd just regained my memory, and she talked me out of going and killing Willow."
Willow murmurs, "Remind me to thank her for that."
Buffy carries on, "So, then I offered to feed her on Saturday. Then she taught me how to do so, and it was… mmm… Anyway, Willow, we should go."
As the two of them leave, Buffy starts to explain how the Quantum Phase generator works and how the Orokin used it for everything from prototype manufacturing to surgical procedures and birth.
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Once they reach Buffy's house, Willow stops and stares for a moment as she spots Tara crying on the steps to the house.
When she sees Willow, Tara blurts out, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'll find somewhere else to live. And I'll pay for it, honest."
As Buffy opens the door behind Tara, Willow can see a scene of utter devastation.
Surprising both of them, Buffy's voice comes from just inside, "Meh, I've seen worse. Just move anything you value out of your room. Oh, and if you can, tidy up in here too."
As the door closes, Willow sits down next to Tara, "Hey."
Tara just sits there morosely, so Willow places her hand on Tara's knee, "Hey, what's wrong?"
Wordlessly, Tara looks up and flicks her fingers to conjure a fancy swing seat large enough for two, with a cushioned chair, and a beautiful canopy to provide shade. Then she gets up and sits on it, glancing up at Willow, expecting to be judged. Instead, Willow gets up to sit next to her, "Oh, Tara, what's wrong?"
Tara sobs, "I can't stop it. It's there all the time, and I thought I understood what that would mean. But I can't stop it."
Willow comfortingly puts a hand on Tara's leg, "Shh, it's ok, I've been through the same thing. It's hard, but we'll help you get through it. Even if I have to ask my m…m… Buffy's boss to send you to muck out the nightmare stables."
Tara shakes her head in a fresh wave of tears, "It's not the same. I cannot stop it. I've tried. In art history, we were being shown paintings by lesser known artists, and a pair of 1,000 year old paintings came up. They showed a young woman feeding rabbits in front of an old cottage. The other one showed her giving a rabbit to a neighbour, and I remember thinking the rabbits were so cute. That was it, everyone in the class was turned into a rabbit. After I turned everyone back, I came home."
Willow nods reassuringly, "I never told you, but I did the same thing a few times if I hadn't used magic for a while. It's part of why it took me so long to clear the manure. I still remember what it was like, and I'm worried about what will happen when Razial lets me go."
Angrily, Tara turns to Willow, "You don't understand. You really don't." The grass and hedges all spontaneously turn into angry parodies of themselves, with razor sharp edges. As though they were drawn by an animation studio, "I'm not using magic! This is coming from inside me! And I can't stop it. I thought I'd be able to handle it. Even when I realised how big a part of my life it would be, I still thought it was something I could make space for. But it's not, it's always there, and it dominates everything."
Willow tries to comfort Tara, "Tara, it was the same way with me until Monday. I'd go through the day with twinges in my chest from every time I tried to use magic without thinking about it. To get that feeling back. When I came back from Rack I was so scared, because it felt so good. I can remember it now, and part of me wants to feel that again. But, since the cleansing ritual, that need, that all consuming need. That's gone now. It's not just under control, it's gone."
Tara jumps off the seat and storms back to the steps, leaving the path behind her a bubbling and glowing lava orange, "Do you think I want to be doing this? This isn't magic. Magic comes from the world around us. Not from inside. This is inside me, and it keeps growing and growing, and I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'm going to hurt someone before I can learn to live with it."
Barely heard behind her, the front door opens, and then closes, and Buffy's arms fold around her from behind, "Shh, shh, you can do this. Pull the void around you. It's part of you, and you are part of it. Pull it around you and step away from the world. Like we did while I was carrying you last night."
Buffy's soothing voice helps temper her anger, and she sinks down to sit on the steps, "I can't. I don't know how."
"Let me help you, and feel what I'm doing."
Willow tries to step down to help. But, when the grass scythes through her shoe like a sharp knife through paper, she pulls her foot back and huddles on the swing seat, afraid to try to counter the magic in case she only gets the swing seat. Then the two of them fade from sight, and are gone for a minute before Buffy reappears without Tara. A couple of minutes later, Tara reappears and collapses on the steps in relief.
"Thank you, thank you. It's gone, it's all gone."
Buffy's voice comes out grimly, "For the moment. I bet you can feel it coming back already."
From the seat, Willow calls, "Wait, what do you mean coming back already?"
Buffy puts her hand on Tara's shoulder, "You need to be the one to tell her. Oh, and clean up the front yard while you're at it. Some of us need to go to work later."
When the door closes, Willow asks, "Tara, what did she mean?"
Tara looks down, and mutters a word that changes the front yard back to normal. Cautiously, Willow makes her way over to sit beside Tara.
"Tara, what happened?"
"It was the night we brought Buffy back. It appeared to me when you went to call Xander…" Haltingly Tara explains her deal with Wally, and the dreams she's been having.
When she finishes, Willow pulls her into a hug, "Tara, why didn't you tell me?"
"To start with, we had other things to worry about. Then you were using so much magic I was scared of what you'd do if you found out. And then, I just kept putting it off as I've never used magic as much as you have."
Willow looks down herself, "I wish I could say I'd have been there for you. But even now I still want to cast spells just to feel the magic flowing through me, even though I know I haven't recovered from the cleansing ritual. My thoughts are clearer than they've been since Buffy died, but I still want to use it."
Tara laughs, a low hollow laugh, "We're a right pair, one witch who desperately wants to use magic. And another who is currently wishing she didn't have to use magic."
Willow gives a wan smile, "How does Buffy deal with it?"
Tara gazes out at the road, "She's always using it. Even in her sleep. Even then, it only slows down how fast she gets overloaded. Willow, our spells, they use tiny amounts of magic compared to what's inside me." She whispers a couple of words, and a shimmering forcefield springs up around them. The same one that Willow used when they were trying to run from Glory, "I've already recovered the energy that I used to create this, and I know I could cast it over and over again all day if I needed to. Willow, I'm scared, what if I go bad? Who would be able to stop me?"
Willow hugs Tara again, "Tara, you are the kindest, most noble person I've ever met. I don't believe you'll ever go bad. Now, I'm going to see if I can find whoever did this to Buffy. Do you want to come?"
Tara shakes her head, "No, I'm going to try and fix what I can inside. I think, after that, I'll try to do that thing I did with Buffy, on my own."
Willow kisses Tara on the forehead, "Ok, stay safe."
Tara smiles weakly at Willow before getting up and going into the house.
