When had Red Reddington's world turned around? The man certainly could not have answered that question.
When had his priorities shifted? He could remember waking nights, his senses tuned into his personal safety. He had become adept at surviving dangerous situations.
These days, he rarely if ever, thought in such terms.
The man turned over in bed, waking slightly as he did. It wasn't unusual for him to wake frequently during the night; listening, aware. But since sharing his bed with Lizzy, he had been intently focused and conscious only, of the woman. If he was needed, he would know instantly.
Tonight, all was quiet.
Opening his tired eyes, seeing her slight outline in the darkened room, he assured himself of Lizzy's comfort. Her deep steady breathing alerted him that they had finally found the correct dosage of pain meds, allowing her a deep, restful sleep.
The past few nights had been rough for her. A slight movement, a natural turn in sleep, would wake her instantly. The cast had greatly impeded her comfort. It seemed no position was the correct one, her pain level was just too great.
Each time she issued apologies for waking him almost on the hour, but no matter how he reassured her, she seemed to feel worse. In Red's mind however, whatever he could do to make her more comfortable, to make the pain less... was his purpose.
He stared at her profile, snuggled into the softness of her pillow. She mewled softly, making his eyes soften at the sound. It was moments like this that made him miss having a full time bed partner. Those little noises only a female could make, her light scent in the bed clothes, sexy innocence cuddled in the softness.
Reaching out, he adjusted the blanket up over her bared shoulder...her body warming the cool set of sheets.
His mouth turned upward, remembering each and every night he crawled into bed with her, what he had said to Ressler when they were stuck in that box.
Have you ever sailed across the ocean Donald, on a sailboat surrounded by sea...
I wanna be at the Piazza del Campo in Siena...
To feel the surge of ten race horses go thundering by...
I want another meal in Paris at the L'Ambroisie in the Place de Vosges...
I want another bottle of wine, and then another...
I want the warmth of a woman in a cool set of sheets...
One more night of jazz at the Vanguard...
The warmth of a woman in a cool set of sheets.
A slight trembling of the bed, distracted his thoughts. Sliding his hand closer to her body, he felt the vibration intensify just seconds before she released a shaky breath.
Damn, the pain pill must be wearing off.
Sitting up, he reached for the bed side table, feeling for the pills. His fingertips had just grazed the bottle when she awoke fully.
"Ohh..." Liz groaned her distress. Her body curled upright, tense. "Damn..." She whispered brokenly.
"I'm awake." He shook the pill bottle, "I think I've become attuned to you." He broke off when she hissed in pain. His smile dissipated at the woman's hiss of pain.
Red flipped the low light switch, taking in her pinched face and trembling hand, clenched into a fist. "Tell me." Whipping off the sheet, he moved closer, his hand curving to her spine.
She pulled up further into herself, stopping, pushing her abdomen. "Oh, no." she moaned her realization.
"Lizzy..."
The woman lay perfectly still, mortified. How was she going to get out of this one graciously.
Throwing back her side of the blankets, Red pulled up short, shocked when he saw blood covering the lower side of her bed. Quite a lot of blood actually. Enough that it worried him a little.
"God." Liz hung her head dejectedly. "I'm so sorry." she sighed bleakly.
"This is fine, Lizzy." Red's deep voice soothed. "Nothing to worry about." He ran his hand over her abdomen gently. "It happens."
She covered her eyes, embarrassed beyond belief. "Of all the things..." she was still mortified.
He interrupted, "Don't worry about it."
The man rolled off the bed, heading to the bathroom, coming out with a change of sheets.
"You know, this happened to my wife all the time. Not to mention the time her water broke." he remembered fondly. "Now that, that was memorable." He glanced at the woman who had not moved, still wrapped up in her misery.
"And since then, it's happened more often than you'd think. In our line of work, I suppose they get mixed up on dates and forget." He stated in a blasé manner. "I blame it on jet lag."
He purposely didn't mention that when the incident occurred, it wasn't while his partners were sleeping, but more often, while he was buried between their thighs. Even then, especially then... it never bothered him.
Coming to the head of the bed, he smiled warmly when she grimaced her distaste. "Ugh. I can't believe this doesn't gross you out." she moved out of the sticky mess as best she could, dismayed to see his beautiful sheets in such a state.
He chuckled under his breath. "I find nothing about the female body or it's workings gross, as you so articulately stated. It's natural." Bending to loop her arm around his neck, she backed off.
"Well, it grosses me out." she pulled the garments away from her flesh, disgusted. "My crutches are right over..."
Rolling his eyes, he bent to his original position, silencing her protests. "And I am right here."
Walking her to the bathroom, she finally balked. "I can get this from here on... if you stay close." She wrinkled her nose. "Sorry."
"Stop saying that, Lizzy." the man turned abruptly, waving his hand about, breaking into one of his colorful speeches. "I was telling you about when my wife's water broke." his eyes met hers for a brief second, filled with mirth.
"Oh, Lizzy. If only you could have seen me then." he chuckled appreciatively. "You think this is something?" he alluded to her state of being. "I could have sworn that I literally shit my pants. Literally... I mean, I was running around, grabbing bags and her purse and the car keys, all the while truly believing, I had soiled myself. Didn't know how I was going to break it to her or the doctor." he glanced over, relieved to see the woman's mouth quirking gently, her eyes soft and totally vulnerable in a good way.
"Well, you get my drift, my point being," he motioned curtly with his head, "when life gets dirty, sometimes it's all right just to get down in the mud and roll around and enjoy the moment, in a manner of speaking."
Liz glanced to her blood stained garments. "Not really enjoying this Red." she tried to hold her smile, feeling infinitely better now.
"We'll all look back on it and have a good laugh." he assured.
"At my expense." she laughed, gingerly removing the soiled panties, her hand steadied by his shoulder. Red glanced away, allowing the woman a measure of privacy.
Liz had difficulty removing the clothing, but she was rather proud of herself once the task had been completed. She know held the tails of her shirt, tucked modestly between her legs.
Red bent retrieving the discarded clothing, crossing to the sink, running water before depositing the clothes into the lukewarm basin.
"Oh my God, just throw them away." She had realized his intent.
The man rinsed the blood from the dark fabric absently. "It'll come out." he worked the silk between his fingers. "Believe me, if it's one thing I know about, it's how to get blood out of clothes."
"Jesus..." She squeezed her eyes shut, groaning her embarrassment.
"Lizzy. Stop." He turned to her, leaning against the sink. "I'm not embarrassed. I'm not put out. I'm not anything." Pulling the stopper, he let the sink refill, soaking the shorts. "I find nothing about this revolting or disgusting. It's nothing to be ashamed of and I'm certainly not bothered by the sight of blood, obviously. As a matter of fact..." He broke off abruptly.
The silence was deafening.
"What were you going to say?" she was intrigued.
"Nothing." he waved it off, continuing his task, totally focused.
"No, please." the woman held the shirt tighter between her legs. "You were going to say something?" she entreated. "I am interested."
Crossing his arms, he leaned back against the sink, this time, more comfortably. "I was going to say that I was never bothered by it because I find a woman, during that time, well any time really... arousing."
"You do?" the surprise was in her voice.
He nodded, "It seems to be the only time a woman lets herself be truly feminine." He shrugged casually, warming to the topic. "They're so concentrated on what's going on with their body that normally strong and capable women could care less about their weight, what they're wearing or what anyone thinks."
His smile was genuine. "They want to eat chocolate, cry, and read romance novels. For a week, they tell everyone to go to hell and just be. I find the simplicity of it rather refreshing."
"You find bloated, crying, bitchy women arousing?"
"Well, there's more to it than that. But yes, I do." he chuckled softly.
"Oh, there's more to it?" Liz teased, but found herself very curious.
"I'm not sure you're ready for this conversation." Red forewarned.
"Come on, Red. I've bled all over the bed. You've washed my panties." She waved her hands out sideways, "I'd say we've reached a highlight, dare I say, milestone, in our relationship."
"Fine," he accepted the inevitable. "While most men would steer clear of women at this time of the month, I'd say that they're missing an opportunity."
Liz's brow scowled slightly.
"They're more open to affection and cuddling. It's really the only time that you can baby them and they sit back and enjoy it." he lifted his head defiantly. "Personally, I've always enjoyed the mood swings. One minute they're angry as hell, the next, crying and vulnerable. There's nothing sexier."
"You really believe that?" Liz tilted her head, studying him.
"I do. Maybe it's just that I enjoy women." he turned introspective for a beat. "I saw my wife give birth to my child or I don't like seeing women I care for in pain but... it was one of the most beautiful, moving experiences of my entire life."
He tilted his head, then smiled. "Of course she thought she was at her worst... first thing she asked for was her makeup, then a cheeseburger." his smile grew. "In my opinion, and I will probably be stoned for this, women should be pampered and cared for and protected... and loved."
Silence filled the room as Liz contemplated his mood and words. "Well, I don't feel like stoning you, Red." she was stunned. "Most men run from the tears and the cramps, but you face it head on. That is something to be admired."
He rolled his eyes, returning to the basin.
"So, you find it arousing?" she did not want to drop the subject just yet. "That they cuddle? Let down their barriers?"
"Well, that is a big part of it." he conceded holding up the now cleaned linen examining it closely for flaws. "But mostly it's because they feel different when you make love."
"Excuse me?" Liz wasn't sure if that was too much information.
The man turned his head to seek her out, the knowledgeable eyes resting easily on her face. "Has no one discussed this with you before?"
She was speechless for a spell.
"When you had sex with Tom, didn't it feel different?" Red's own curiosity was stirred. He wasn't about to call what they did, making love, because it wasn't. "I mean when you were menstruating."
"We never... I didn't... the mess..." Liz stumbled through the confession. "I didn't think he would want to and he never asked or pushed."
"I see..." Red said quietly, feeling his ire rise a notch. Job or not, that bastard had not been worthy of Lizzy. The man hadn't been bothered by the mess, rather bothered by the personal aspect of it. "Did he never pleasure you, help you, in any other way besides sex?"
"He never came right out and asked to or hinted towards..." She felt her face flaming, "I just assumed he was being a guy, had an aversion to..."
Why was she even supplying this personal information? She knew why! Because she had asked the same of Red and he had answered.
"Did you ever masturbate during your period?"
"Red!" her mouth fell agape.
"I thought we could discuss personal things." his eyes made her feel like a school girl suddenly.
"Well, I didn't. Okay." she was a little resentful that she was not half as sophisticated as he. "Mostly because I felt like hell." she admitted. "Who would want to do such a thing?"
"I can think of a million reasons why you might." he had a very difficult time not laughing at the expression on her face. "An orgasm or two would have helped with the cramping." Grabbing a cloth, he wet it under the hot water, handing it to her.
The woman accepted the offering, reeling, trying desperately to regain her balance.
"When a woman is aroused, she warms. Her inner core heats and secretes fluid, as you well know." He waved an artistic hand. "During her period, she's steaming. Hot. On top of her arousal, she has the blood flow, allowing for a well lubricated ride. And inside..." He closed his eyes, envisioning the warm place. "It's more swollen, cushioned. The clitoris more sensitive. Orgasms are normally more intense."
He opened his eyes, staring at her, "There's nothing like sex on a regular basis. But when a woman has her period... the experience is amplified tremendously. For both partners." Holding out his hand, he waited for her to give over the washcloth.
"I suppose on some level, I knew that." Folding the cloth as best she could, she reluctantly gave it back. "I guess we're taught growing up that it's a private thing." she was being tutored by the master and she knew it. "I didn't know men thought about it that way though."
"I can only speak for myself. Most men are scared by it. I am not." He rummaged through the cabinets, humming in victory. He found what he had been searching for. "Here, take these." He handed over two white pills and a glass of water.
She popped the pills in her mouth, swallowing. "What are they?" she asked.
"Anti-inflammatory and pain relief." he muttered, rummaging around in the cupboards. "Mr. Kaplan didn't bring any supplies that I can find..." he was disappointed.
"I may not have had any." she picked up on his meaning. "I'm short on ideas here, you?"
"I have some thick bandages that may suffice, so you have something to use until I get back from the store tomorrow." he waved the bandages about. "I always have these on hand in case I get shot. Why are people always shooting at me?"
He tossed the bandages back inside the cabinet. "You know if anything, why don't you just go with out anything tonight? It might be better for you right now."
"What?" Naked from the waist down, sharing a bed, with Red Reddington. She could feel her blood pressure rising. "We'll... uh... be right back where we started if I don't..."
"Just trust me." he helped her to the bathroom bench. "Do you mind if I...?" He gestured to the toilet.
"Seems only fair if you ask me. I've had to go in front of you." She was proud of herself, steadying her voice like that. Because inside, she was nervous as hell.
"Sweetheart, I've been stripped naked by total strangers..." Liz's expression fell drastically as she tried to assimilate such a concept. The man shook his head, grimacing slightly. "You don't want to know. I've showered and pissed in front of a hundred men." He turned to the toilet, "Nothing bothers me anymore." With that, he did just as he had been speaking of, happily relived by the sound of it.
She hopped to the sink, searching desperately for her toothbrush, anything to distract herself. She fought the urge to glance up to the mirror for all she was worth, acutely aware that she herself... stood there in nothing but Red's shirt.
"Nothing?" she muttered her rising panic.
"Humm?" he finished his business, turning slightly.
"Nothing bothers you?" her mind came to the rescue for once. "Not one thing?"
He flushed the toilet, coming to the sink. She rinsed her mouth, placing the brush back in it's holder, turning her eyes to his averted profile.
"I'm thinking." He washed his hands then snatched his own toothbrush. After a few seconds, he said, "I'm not too fond of people vomiting on me."
"Eww." she had not liked the turn of events. "Do I even want to know?"
"Probably not." He said around his toothbrush.
He thought about the last time it had happened. An acquaintance's daughter had been kidnaped over an arms deal gone wrong. In the process of torturing some bad guy for the whereabouts of the girl... apparently, electricity and exposed live nerve endings did not go well together. But he had retrieved the girl, so it ended well, considering.
A win-win situation.
Finishing up, he turned to her. "Ready?"
She nodded, holding her arm aloft, ready for his steadying aide. They hobbled out slowly, he matching his steps to her's.
It took only a moment to change the sheets because the woman assisted. She figured it was the least she could do.
"Can I ask you something?" She had gathered the nerve. "It's actually kind of personal. I probably shouldn't..." she crinkled her nose, "...never mind."
"Lizzy, you can ask me anything you like." he threw the last remaining pillow onto the bed. "I can't promise I'll always have the answer or the correct one, but I will answer, no matter how personal."
Twisting the throw blanket in her hands nervously, she hesitated, "Do a lot of the women you know really like to do that?" Her curiosity won out over her embarrassment.
"Specify?" He sat on the bed, facing her.
"Have sex during their period?"
He laughed, "I've had some demand it."
"And you didn't mind, at all?" she was fascinated.
"It was my pleasure to serve." He grinned, having retrieved a heavy towel from the bathroom. "Now I'm going to ask you something personal. I'm pretty sure of the answer, but my curious nature demands I ask." He folded the towel in half, placing it on the bed.
She nodded, readying herself. "All right. It's only fair."
"How many lovers have you had?" he pierced her with knowledgeable eyes.
She hesitated visibly, then forged courageously ahead. "Two in college... then Tom."
"That's what I thought and it explains so much." he fluffed a nearby pillow.
"Well, you try having Sam as your dad and see how well you make out." She defended herself.
Red's lips twisted slightly for the unintentional pun. She tried to keep the irritation from her voice, but it was damned hard.
The older man smiled, knowing full well how watchful Sam had been, especially since he had Red in his corner. Lizzy had been as pure as snow until both men had agreed to back off and let her have breathing room in college.
They would have been complete hypocrites if they didn't let her spread her wings, as it were, during a time of experimentation.
Which didn't mean Red hadn't vetted her dates. He had rid her of two losers before letting the one that had apparently slept with her stick around, if only because he had been good enough to actually woo the girl over a slew of dates before trying anything.
"No need to get upset. I just..." he soothed her ruffled feathers, "I have a hard time wrapping my mind around a beautiful thirty year old woman being so sexually neglected. Now I understand why."
"What's to understand?" she demanded, still smarting from his smug tone.
"Two of them were boys who could have found a hole in a wall and received the same gratification. And the other was hired to infiltrate your life." He shook his head, disgusted. "Any affection or attention to your needs from any of them was minimal, I'm sure."
"Why does it bother you so much?" she was intrigued because it clearly did.
"Because you deserve better. All women deserve better." he snapped, instantly regretting the retort. "We can talk about this later, you need to rest."
She settled on the bed, pulling her shirt down. Holding her breath when a cramp ripped through her mid-section, she pushed hard into her abdomen.
"I feel like hell."
Red rubbed her hip, then leaned over, feeling beside the bed, pulling out a heating pad. "This will help." Lifting the blankets, he placed it against her stomach, raising her knee, setting a pillow beneath it. "The pills will kick in shortly, just try and relax."
He turned out the light, then climbed in the bed behind her, scooting forward.
Reaching out in the dark, he rubbed long strokes over her back until he reached the bottom of her spine, pushing into the tight muscle with his thumb, repeating the action even after the spasms lessened.
Slowly but surely, the combined heat and soothing massage allowed her to relax. She yawned sleepily after a time. "That feels so good." she murmured contentedly.
He absently scratched his fingers over her back, wondering, fantasizing, what it would feel like to touch her bare skin... intimately. Or more to the point, would she ever want his for something other than that of a care taker.
And if it ever happened, how would it come about? Would she be just coming out of the pool, the one she had been staring at impatiently, wanting so desperately to dive in to the inviting depths.
He had a few depths he wanted to dive into as well.
Or maybe, he could aid her in the removal of a certain red dress after they had returned home from a party.
Just once, he would love to bed her. To touch her bare skin then kiss it, taste it. Would it ever happen for them? Would his greatest wish ever come true?
"Hey?" she mumbled sleepily.
"Uh hmm?"
"Where's your cat?"
He chuckled under his breath, amused by her wit. A few moments later, her breath evened out into sleep.