A small, lazy smile worked it's way across Red Reddington's face, his thoughts instantly focused on one thing, and one thing only.
Last night... he had made Lizzy come.
More to the point, she allowed herself to come.
More surprisingly... Lizzy helped him to that eventuality.
It hadn't happened per his usual style when with a lover granted, but Liz hadn't seemed to mind, and God knows, he certainly had not either.
Regardless of the specific mechanics of their lovemaking, it had happened and had felt damned good.
And had been very much needed, at least on his part. He hadn't felt this relaxed, this serene, in quite a while.
But it was the emotional peace...serenity, that astounded him the most. An aspect he had very much missed in his life.
It was as he once stated. Sex can feel great, but if it's lacking emotion attachment... the emptiness in your heart, overwhelms the orgasmic high soon enough.
The need for that emotional connection... the love from your partner was an essential desire which needed fulfillment.
Red could have fucked Ariana and had a decent enough time, true. Eventually, his euphoric elation would have crashed, leaving him empty inside and yearning for more.
Yearning for the one he truly desired.
Lizzy...
He loved Lizzy.
What had ended up being a more sensual, and a damned sight more comfortable, version of back seat petting... left him satisfied in ways he hadn't felt in years, because of his love for the woman.
He had been sated, not only physically... but emotionally. And it was an intensely wonderful feeling.
Red rolled from the bed, answering nature's call. After which he returned, then stood for a long moment, simply staring down at the peacefully sleeping woman.
He hesitated, torn between duty or pleasure. He should get dressed for the day, that's what he should do.
The man pulled the covers aside, laying back down beside Elizabeth. He propped himself up on his elbow, resting his hand on his forehead, just watching her sleep.
He knew instantly, staring at the pretty profile, that duty could wait. The business could wait. He had made the correct decision.
While he would have loved to have completed their late night activities, he could see now, in the light of day, that it was better for her... that they had not.
There was a part of him that would love to wake her right now by crawling between her silky thighs and bury his face against her folds before sliding into her wet warmth.
Before that eventuality, he realized, he would first have to deal with the emotional fallout of what had occurred between them.
They had went from a kiss to orgasm within the span of only a couple hours.
Liz had to get her bearings. She needed to come to terms with what had happened.
She would most likely feel guilty.
Why did women always feel guilt after something so incredibly beautiful.
She was an FBI agent, and had essentially, slept with the enemy.
Red tilted his head slightly, scrutinizing the tranquilly slumbering female.
Would she be embarrassed?
Lizzy was not the 'one night stand' type of person. Not that this was by any means, a one night stand, but she didn't do 'reckless'.
Elizabeth Keen was not in the running to be the next, 'Miss Fuck Number Four on the Most Wanted List'.
She was comfortable in making lists, planning, having the answers at her fingertips.
And for her to find comfort in any involvement with him, she would need answers.
He had been preparing himself for the eventuality. Now that time was nearing, she would expect him to supply those answers.
He suddenly felt suffocated. The knowledge that he carried, was almost choking the life from him, because to hurt her, would hurt him more.
They hadn't communicated last night... except on one level.
And they should have.
But they would, today.
He didn't want to tell her about Katarina, her father, because there was only so much emotional upheaval a person could take in one day.
Unless she asked about them specifically, he would hold off until another time.
Now, he only had to make her understand that while he wanted more out of their growing relationship, there was no rush, no expectation... no pressure.
He was rather fond of the idea of wooing the woman, truth be told.
They had missed some important milestones along the way.
He had yet to ask her on a date. An event that, even after last night, made him a bit apprehensive.
He hadn't bought her flowers. Well, he had, but not while actively dating her. They hadn't experienced a weekend holiday together. They hadn't held hands while walking through a park, gone to a movie. Hell, they hadn't even swapped keys, he thought with a smile.
While he would in no way, turn down having sex with the woman at any time, he needed to make her understand a few basic edicts. Such as, those moments were just as important and essential to their relationship becoming more... intimate, personal... loving.
He knew a lot about Lizzy. How she took her coffee, that she teared up during Hallmark commercials, that she loved the 'find the object' in a child's Highlight magazine.
But he wanted to know her favorite color, flower, movie, book. Who was her first crush? What did she dream about? What were her secret passions? Her fantasies?
He had a great need to find out all about the beautiful, vibrant woman who lay beside him.
What the hell made Elizabeth Keen tick?
The information about Red was all contained in a file. A file of facts only. There was nothing personal about the man himself, which was the way he wanted it.
Anything she wished to know, of that nature, he would supply directly.
The woman in question stirred, stretching her body with feline grace before snuggling back into his side.
He waited patiently, for an awareness to set in. It did not take long, he felt her tense, then slowly open her eyes.
"Good morning." he stated soothingly, lifting the small strap back unto her shoulder. "Is this awkward or what?" he kept his tone light. "I bet you give just about anything at this point... to go freshen up." he gallantly gave her the opportunity she needed.
Liz instantly rolled from the bed, glad for the momentary reprieve. She needed to get her thoughts in order. She walked quickly to her retreat.
This moment was a crucial turning point and Red knew he had to tread carefully.
Moments later, the woman emerged from her hiding spot, uncertainty written on the pretty features. She ventured slowly into the area, standing staunchly in the middle of the room.
The blue eyes, while able to meet his unwavering stare, were full of doubt and insecurity.
"Come here..." Red patted the bed. "We need to talk."
She crawled up on the high structure, wrapping her arms tightly around herself.
Red watched for a moment, gauging that reaction.
She was cold. That was all.
He wrapped the blanket around her, before resettling himself.
"We did nothing wrong." he wanted that made perfectly clear.
She raised her eyes slowly, a wealth of meaning in the cool depths.
Red smiled softly, stroking a large hand through her tangled hair. "In fact..." he lowered his voice to just above a whisper, making the conversation very private, "I believe we did it just right."
His fingers danced delicately over her pink cheeks. "Don't you agree?"
"I'm..." she was reeling from the man's nearness and the reality of what was... what had been. "I don't..."
"You're nervous." he surmised. "Scared."
Liz opened her mouth, then hesitated, "... Maybe a little, but I don't know why."
Red watched her pulling at the lace on her slip, "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm extremely exhilarated."
She stilled her distraction, her eyes flying to his hastily. "You are?"
"Beyond scope." his eyes told her he did not lie.
She flushed slightly, well pleased with such praise, truth told.
"Can you tell me what you are feeling?" he fished.
"I'm not sure exactly." she knew how she felt, she just didn't know how to verbalize it.
"Do you regret what happened?" he had to know.
"No." It was the one thing of which she was certain. And she answered without hesitation. Her eyes held his easily this time.
"Nor do I, not one moment." Red dismissed the idea entirely. "With that said. I want it known right now, Lizzy." he iterated.
"I do not expect anything. There is no rush or pressure for a repeat performance." he clarified. "But also know, I would very much enjoy the opportunity to be with you again and when you're ready... I would like to explore more with you."
Liz quickly raised startled eyes, "You would?" She asked breathlessly.
"Very much so." Red's voice held a tone of finality. "I can honestly say, making love with you is very... satisfying, not to mention, gratifying in every aspect of the word."
The doubt in her eyes returned, but faded slowly, seeing the truth in his own.
"But we really didn't..." she reminded sheepishly, "...make love."
"It is making love when you care deeply for your partner, no matter the activity." Red disagreed. "And when you're with the one and only person you wish to be with."
"But earlier..." she did indeed, have questions. "You and that woman..."
"Lizzy, have you ever been aroused to the point that nothing will satisfy, but another's touch?" she nodded slowly, his meaning clear. "Perhaps it's crass of me to say, but she was a means to an end." he felt his own inadequacies deeply. "A tension relief, a purely sexual release." he explained.
"I let my sexual tension and frustration get the better of me, and it almost cost me dearly."
"I don't understand?" she frowned.
"If I had sex with that woman, I would have lost something of far greater importance." he reached, taking her hand in his. "And that was... being with you."
The woman's eyes blinked rapidly, as though it would help her thought process.
"I truly would love to be given another opportunity to be with you." Red continued, before he lost his rhythm. "If you are ever so inclined... do not hesitate."
With that, he stood, giving his words a chance to settle in.
Red traced her earlobe with the tip of his finger, leaning in to kiss her forehead.
The woman lifted her chin, capturing his lips with her own. The kiss both warm and intimately suggestive. He held the moment as long as he could, his mouth responding passionately.
He kept his senses about him, not wanting to frighten the woman away so early on.
This was a romantic kiss. Not a carnal one.
A very important distinction needed to be conveyed here, to his way of thinking.
His need and want for her went far beyond sex.
Of course, he wanted Elizabeth as his lover.
But his determination to have a partner, a friend, a confidant... someone with which to share his life... that was of the upmost importance to him.
If he was so privileged to share it with Elizabeth... then all his hopes and aspirations would become a reality.
He pulled away hesitantly, reluctant to be about his business.
"I'm going to dress." he headed across the plush carpet. "Room service should be here shortly with breakfast and your coffee." he turned with his intended exit into the other room. "Oh, and the Service pressed your dress, for the funeral."
Liz watched Red as he retreated to the bath, leaving her stupefied and a little more than stunned.
If she understood correctly, Red had enjoyed their evening. His words had indicated, very much so, in fact. He even said, he would like the opportunity to have another go at it... with her.
She had no idea what to think, or feel, at this point.
She had really enjoyed last night. Red had touched her in a manner no other man had done. When he looked at her, she melted. Red Reddington was addictive. He was like a drug and she really wanted to experience that high again.
But there was an underlying fear. Was she was making a terrible mistake?
Last night did not feel like a mistake. He had made her feel desirable, cared for and cherished.
But Red was who he was. A very complicated, complex man who very few were privileged enough to be included into his inner circle.
After Tom, she was afraid to trust her own instincts again. He had treated her so badly, he had turned on her so quickly... was she getting involved in a similar situation?
How could she compare the two men, however?
Red had been up front and open with who he was. Red always helped her in some way or another.
Red respected her work. He understood her unusual hours, when she would have to take off at a moments notice. He had never made her feel guilty for doing her job.
Red would never raise his hand to her and God knows, she had given him enough provocation in the past.
But what would it mean to involve herself with someone of his caliber? He had an abundance of friendly acquaintances around the globe, but he had just as many enemies, and most of the latter were deadly.
What would that mean to her... to them? He could be taken from her at any time, without warning.
But really, couldn't the same be said for an accountant driving on the 395, getting into an accident on his way to work.
How would any romantic association affect their work? Would it cause strain between them?
And the FBI would never sanction such a relationship.
But on the other hand, why should she give a damn what they thought?
She had turned in Tom, choosing the Organization over her own husband, and the FBI had made her out to be an enemy, or stupid or... worse yet, a fool.
Red had been with her every step of the way.
He had been so incredibly kind and caring during her convalescence.
He respected her space.
He had respected her moral ethics...
Hell, he had even slept in a chair for several nights to that ends.
It was his damned bed. She was the intruder, but he put her at ease, making her feel welcome.
The man had truly made her recovery, stress free. Taking care of every aspect of her needs, so she could rest her body and mind.
What if they had a child.
She felt her stomach flip crazily at the thought, and it wasn't necessarily in a bad way. What the hell was she thinking, but then again, things happened.
And what else was she thinking except having a physical relationship with this man, which could lead to that very thing.
But Red was so experienced. He must know ways... even though, Liz had an uneasy feeling that if the man was sexually involved with a woman, he would probably forgo contraceptives.
She herself, had not been on the Pill since Tom.
Perhaps she was worrying about nothing.
There were other aspects to consider, however.
With what they were up against, a child would be their biggest vulnerability. But also the most loved child on the entire planet.
She had seen Red interact with kids before, her heart warmed every time she saw the man interact with a child.
One day, not long ago, they had been standing in line, for what seemed like hours... waiting for her much needed coffee.
Without coffee in her system, Liz knew that she would be like Ultron on a very bad day.
A mother and her fussy baby were ahead of them in line.
While Liz hated to admit that she was damning the Universe, getting stuck behind the fussy infant before her caffeine fix.
Red had taken it in his stride.
He reached out, tickling the little sock covered toes, asking the baby what his 'issue' was. The baby's interest was immediate and focused on that deep soothing voice.
In that one instance, a camaraderie of sorts, had been established.
The baby found his soul mate.
The little guy was clearly enthralled with Red; smiling, chortling, and playing, the entire time they waited, much to the mother's everlasting relief.
Not only had Red's apparent fondness and patience with the baby been sweet. That he didn't give a damn that anyone was watching as he played peek-a-boo with the child, had been charming as hell.
The mother as well, had fallen under his spell. To top it off, Red had ended up paying for her order as well.
Number four on the Most Wanted list, confessed killer, the Concierge of Crime... my ass. The though still brought a smile to Liz's lips.
He was the only one who commiserated with a harried mother and a worn out little boy.
Red would be a wonderful father. But then, he was already a father. A father who worried for his daughter on a daily basis. What must it feel like to live under such a dark cloud?
Would he even want to have children again? They had discussed it before, when baby Sam there. But there was a definite abstract to the question now.
They hadn't made love in the traditional sense, true. It had been just as satisfying.
Liz had enjoyed Red's attention last night, plain and simple. She had needed his gentleness and was surprised at how very passionate a lover he had turned out to be.
Her cheeks tinted slightly as she recalled the time in his arms. She was not the type to kiss a man, then fall into bed with him mere hours later.
But last night, it was if she was another person. She had felt comforted and fully at ease almost as if they had been intimate before.
Which was absurd really, that was how she had felt as if being in his arms was the most natural thing in the world.
This morning, Liz was shocked that the man hadn't pushed for more.
Part of her appreciated such a chivalrous action on his part. But another found herself resenting it somewhat.
Why hadn't he simply pushed her slip out of his way and made love to her. She felt a little irked because she knew she was on that level last night.
It was almost as if Red was in total control, something Liz was not.
Maybe he knew she would do this. That she would question and analyze everything down to the smallest of details.
She had to admit, she was intrigued. What would it be like to make love to Red Reddington? A man who had the admiration of woman spanning the globe.
And if she did, what would it mean? Was she just another notch in his bed post?
No... she got the feeling that this was not a one time thing.
If she slept with Red... this could lead to a romantic entanglement. She was sure of that.
And she found herself... wanting to take that chance.
She needed to see where this would go...
Elizabeth Keen had just opened herself up to the possibilities.