Author Notes: Saw this formatting somewhere... thought I'd try it. Not sure I liked it though. Haha! You guys be the judge.
Oh, one thing. Is anyone reading on here anymore? Have you guys moved to AO3 (Archive of Our Own) to read the story?
I'm only asking because if no one is reading it here on FF...
It seems kind of silly to keep updating both AO3 and FF.
I don't mind updating, I love updating... I just thought I'd ask if anyone was still here? You know what I mean?
XO Lizzington XO Lizzington XO Lizzington XO Lizzington XO Lizzington XO Lizzington XO Lizzington XO Lizzington XO Lizzington XO Lizzington XO Lizzington XO
Red lay quietly, his eyes hazily focused on the lights from the city reflecting overhead on the ceiling, his thoughts serene... contemplative.
It seemed only a short time ago he, too keyed up from his earlier exertions with Elizabeth, awoke from a short, refreshing nap.
He shifted his interest.
Silently watching the woman beside him sleep, Red's sated gaze traveled the expanse of Lizzy's lithe frame, hesitating on small slivers of flesh that had peeked out from under the rumpled sheets covering her body.
The man often found himself rendered speechless by her ethereal beauty.
How many times he found himself enraptured by the sight of that long hair laying against the curvature of her spine, just tickling the flaring curve of her waist and full bottom.
His heart quickened when the woman shifted beside him, baring the long line of leg to his appreciative gaze.
Slipping his hand under the luxurious sheet, his fingers danced idly over her stomach before curving about the woman's waist.
His sack contracted when the woman sighed sleepily, moaning softly at his touch. The sound added to his heightened arousal.
He covertly eased his bulky frame over the woman's recumbent form, bracing himself on threaded and rippling forearms.
The tension built when Lizzy shifted once more, relaxing under his intent, sensing his proximity.
As he bared Elizabeth's body to his gaze, the ache in his groin became unbearable.
His cock stirred, brushing against the springy curls of her sex. A low unexpected snarl escaped from his throat.
His palm cupped her breast, the giving flesh conformed to his gentle and exploratory hold. The memory of tenderly laving that coral hued nipple into a crinkled whirl was imprinted on his tongue. He itched to take it in his mouth and suckle her once again.
Red found himself spellbound every time Elizabeth removed the silk or lace cradle which restrained those glorious breasts.
Once he had been in the phone, distracted, admittedly... annoyed with the inefficiency of the world in general when he had halted all speech or coherent thought, at Lizzy's thoughtless actions.
The woman released her breasts from confinement innocently changing into a more relaxed outfit.
Those pert breasts bounced as they lost the battle to gravity, falling into their natural slope. The gentle sway of the soft, pliable flesh mesmerized him as did the way her nipples puckered in the cool air of the room.
Her breasts alone could inspire poetry.
The natural essence of the woman was most hypnotic.
In stealth like fashion, Red inched his way around her body, basking in the silky feel of her skin brushing tantalizingly against his.
Gently nudging his warm hand against her thigh, he coaxed her legs to open, allowing him a warm nest in which he settled comfortably.
The man's eyes lit with repressed fire at the first sight of Elizabeth's form.
Her little lips and adorable clitoris were so damned physically appealing. Even her grooming left him sexually stimulated.
Red often wondered if women were as excited by the sight of their lovers?
Inhaling deeply, his heart raced as he took in the rich scent along with the evocative musky aroma of their love making which tinged her delicate flesh.
His hot breath whispered sensually over Elizabeth's still form. She stirred slightly.
Red nuzzled into the caressing touch of one silky thigh brushing against his cheek. He stilled, waiting patiently until she settled once more.
Leaning, he tenderly placed his mouth against the hot, inviting surface awaiting his exploration.
Red had always enjoyed going down on his partners. It was an activity he not only excelled... if he said so himself. It also made his cock ramrod hard.
The sensation of having such a private area in one's mouth was... exhilarating. The texture, taste, response... all women varied.
He was lucky to have been on the receiving end of some beautiful and delicious variety in his day.
But never one like Lizzy's.
Female genitalia, the vagina specifically had been described as many things in fiction. A flower budding or delicate petals shimmering with rain after a spring storm... among other things.
His Naval buddies, less than subtle in their attempt at prose, described it as an exclamation point. The long line punctuated by the little hole beneath it, certainly took on the appearance of one. And if they were all honest, nothing inspired exclamation more than seeing or feeling a woman's God given gift.
If he were asked to describe the female form... Red would personally compare the stunning vision to an intricate, elusive, butterfly.
Elizabeth's in particular entranced and amazed him.
If he had to be poetic about it; when aroused, the woman's plump, wet labia... took the shape of bountiful dew covered wings spread open in flight.
If one were being technical, the woman's labia mimicked a butterfly's wings in appearance. Rounded at the top and tapering in the center, they drew attention to that delicious little center he so coveted.
Could one truly describe such a masterpiece? How many songs, poems and art were based on this marvel?
Adam himself disobeyed God for access to Eve's... virtues.
Red never really saw himself as a religious man. But after first hearing the story, he had to question what the hell Adam had been thinking, disobeying God, of all beings.
He immediately had to rethink his stance after first having sex. It hadn't been perfect, but God... had it been delectable. Kept him on an euphoric high for days.
Yes, God was all powerful and all knowing. But what had he been thinking by giving Adam access to Eve, arguably the most perfect woman in history... then making Adam chose between her and the established rules?
Simplistically put, granted. But Red himself would have failed miserably had the decision been left to him.
There was a reason men fought... and died throughout the ages for women.
Dueling was defined as a chivalrous act, defending a woman's honor. And he wouldn't argue with that honorable act.
But Red knew damn well knew the other reason behind the issue at hand.
Men were defending the one thing they wanted most in this world. And if killing off the competition was required, so be it.
If he were honest with himself, Red had gladly been an active participant in just such a contest. He had beat Brad within an inch of his life to defend Elizabeth's honor, yes.
But also, to simply remind the other man of the established 'rules'.
And any man present realized the battle was a clear indication Red was laying claim to what he considered marked territory.
Elizabeth belonged to him. It was so ridiculously simple.
However you wished to view it, and he often wondered what a woman's perspective would be...
For a man that one little mound of ecstasy, was everything. The be-all, end-all.
Yes, Elizabeth had many virtues that captivated him any given moment of the day, but one stood out each time she came into view. Sooner or later, carnal lust would enter into the picture.
To be allowed the privilege of intimacy on that special level with a female... moved a man's emotions like nothing else.
Red's body shook with excitement and anticipation whenever the woman willingly parted her legs, allowing him a full view of the smattering of dark curls damp with her arousal.
He had a hell of a time controlling himself watching the woman writhe about, as eager for their joining as he, himself.
After he had finally been awarded the ability to feel her in the flesh... he almost lost all sense of himself in the wonder and awe of the emotional onslaught he experienced.
When he set his cockhead at the entrance of that steamy opening and felt the small flutterings as Elizabeth prepared to take him in, with the well of her arousal wetting his way... it was a fucking euphoric moment he cherished.
When her folds parted and collapsed back around his glans as his girth demanded entrance into that tight hold... he honestly wondered if this was what it felt like being allowed entrance to heaven.
When that center pulled at him, tugging him deeper into the secret recesses of her body, his mind exploded with rapture... he truly never experienced such ecstasy.
And that 'special' connection, the love that was present... was absolute bliss.
Even though they had not verbally expressed the words... Red felt the depth of that emotional connection he had been dreaming of building with Elizabeth.
They said so much in that simple act, even when nothing was said at all.
Men were stupid, Red realized a long time ago.
Men constantly searched out the wonders of the world when in reality, they had to look no further than between a woman's thighs to find the most wondrous of all.
Gently kissing the still reddened flesh, his mouth curved when the small alcove responded to his attention, unlike its owner, who still slept peacefully.
The cradle that held him so lovingly filled with the heady aroma that was all Lizzy.
He very much enjoyed her sharp intake of breath when she roused from her slumber to find him gingerly licking her slit.
Only when he was positive he had Elizabeth's undivided attention, did he take her still engorged and sensitive clitoris in his mouth.
Being this intimate, this close, this... connected, was the only thing which fulfilled that incessant need only she could provide.
Red groaned deeply, contentedly, when his taste buds were inundated with that one-of-a-kind potion.
Elizabeth's soft moan stirred the man.
He made himself more comfortable, settling in for the long haul, looking forward to the up-coming hour... or so.
The woman shocked him in the next instant by wriggling out from under his planned attack.
"No, no...no," the sleep-laden tone scolded him.
Red blinked his surprise, watching the woman situate her body out of his reach.
He instinctively followed, a dark scowl laced his brow. Had it pissed her off he awoke her out of a sound–
Red's thoughts halted abruptly.
Tiny fingers grasped his shaft.
The man was wise enough to stop his natural inclination to question that action, at least.
He obeyed Elizabeth's subtle urging as she moved closer, her warm mouth sliding over the crown of his dick in a gentle, teasing sweep.
"Payback's are hell." he murmured serenely, easing up to a convenient pillow. "Baby," the man's tone was raspy with involvement all ready, "if you think I'm going to apologize for..."
Liz explored his nether regions, mapping out his weaknesses.
"Good Lord..." Red sighed blissfully, his thought patterns taking flight.
Sighing, Red's gaze drifted downward, watching Lizzy's little head bob slowly with her actions. He thread his fingers through the dark locks tickling his thighs, unveiling her activity to his rapt attention.
He assumed this was the woman's way of reprimanding him for his earlier transgressions...not that he was complaining in the least.
In this instance, he would gladly take the punishment. And love every moment.
The inquisitive little mouth was probing and exploring freely.
"Miss Scott..." Red gasped, bunching the thick strands in his hand, holding the woman to one particular pastime, "your skills at oral dic–" he hissed when her tongue curved about his shaft, stroking the rigid flesh with practiced ease "...dictation are superb."
Red cursed quietly as her already pouty lips swelled, the pink mouth pulling against his girth. Her whole mouth seemed to conform to him, massaging the velvet hard flesh.
Her little tongue flit along the hard length, suckling him. The gentle tugging motion demanded he comply to her will.
"Are you enjoying yourself, honey?" Red eased the dark strands of her hair aside, fixated on Lizzy's tongue which darted about the head of his cock.
She seemed intently focused on his slit.
"God knows, I am." a whispered croak escaped his throat.
Liz caught the slick fluid oozing freely from the tip, her eyes closing, "You taste good..." she sighed blissfully when the man gifted her with more, "like warm mulled wine."
He had read once that soul mates were attracted to their lovers natural pheromones, and he had to wonder... was there some truth to that?
Lizzy seemed to appreciate his natural flavor... and he more than returned the sentiment.
Everything about Elizabeth's elixir thrilled him like no other, she quite literally drove him insane, she was so fucking intoxicating.
He found himself craving her at random parts of the day. His tongue begged to savor her essence. The urge to let her stir his palate left him salivating and aching with need.
He sucked in a stilted breath, his thoughts stagnating.
Red's eyes closed rapturously when the slick, hot cushion of Lizzy's mouth slid along his cock head, eagerly sucking him, desperately seeking more of that flavor she obviously adored.
The bumpy tissue reminded him very much of another opening he dearly loved.
A battle of wills ensued for the man, for she had brought him ever so close to release.
One part wished to waste himself inside this slippery bit of absolute bliss.
The other, wished to partake of the tight creamy hold which offered him a glimpse of heaven on earth.
He flashed back to visions of Lizzy's eyes dreamily shifting to a crystalline blue as she slid along his cock and the look of awe on her face when he took her deep... the echo of her euphoric cries as he filled her with his thick cream, permeated his mind.
"I absolutely love your present activities, my precious... but you should really allow me to return–" Red gasped shakily. "Yes...just... there, baby. Just like that, yes."
Red closed his eyes sinking into the lascivious stirrings she was eliciting, "That feels so..." his cock was ultra-sensitive, hardening further with each wave of Elizabeth's heated tongue.
"I want to..." What? His mind was fragmented with slices of lucidity.
"I should be..." he zoned off into the wonderful sensation, before gathering his wits, "I wanted to do you, baby. Why did you stop me?"
At that moment, he really didn't care about the reason though, if he were being truthful with himself.
He opened his eyes, fixated on that little ass waving in the air.
"Why don't you come a little closer," he suggested, his voice thick with suppressed need, "so I can finish giving you the rest of my... dictation."
The woman let him go with a wet pop, which left him cold and bereft. Red's eyes instantly took in the vision of her wet lips and seductive eyes.
"Come here, baby." he rasped roughly.
Grasping himself in hand, he beckoned the woman closer. "Sit right here..."
Liz crawled her way over him, her breasts dragging along his stomach and chest.
"Yes, Mr. Reddington." she whispered thickly.
The man's eyes darkened with lust at the woman's husky voice. She lifted to her knees, lining up with his throbbing shaft.
Red's blood surged though his veins, his entire system attuned and on high alert.
"Jesus Christ..." Red groaned his disdain for a discrete tap on the bedroom door shattered the mood and moment. "Go the fuck away!"
He turned all his pent-up frustration and ire on the intruder.
"Phone call." Silas' deep muffled voice came from the other side with a definite hint of amusement for Red's predicament. As a man, Silas understood it completely.
"It's important." Liz rolled to Red's side, covering herself with the sheet. "Silas wouldn't interrupt tonight if it wasn't."
Red cocked his brow, a look of disbelief in his eyes.
"No, really, go ahead..." she smiled pleasantly, "I'm not going anywhere."
"And neither is this." Red gritted, waving a hand over his unyielding erection before Lizzy tossed the sheet over it. The man stewed, inwardly wincing at the need to squelch the emotional and physical state she brought him to.
"Come!" he barked, a mulish rasp to the command.
"You speaking to him," Liz crooked a thumb to the intruder outside the door, "...or me?" she muttered aside, which drew a reluctant smile to Red's face.
Silas pushed the door open, heading for the man, phone extended.
"Sorry," the guard said, his eyes expressing regret more to Elizabeth than Red, "but this one really is important. It's Michael Fairfax."
Red was summarily informed.
Liz remembered Michael Fairfax was an integral part of Red's organization. They had extracted him a couple days back from a rather tight situation where he was held hostage.
Red took the phone, bringing it to his ear. "What?" he griped snippily.
Sighing, he settled into the inevitable. He listened half-heartedly to what was being said on the other end of the line, nodding once or twice.
Liz realized just how vulnerable a state she was in, sinking further into the warm bed, tugging the sheets higher on her breasts.
Silas' attention wasn't for her, however. His brow was knitted, his gaze resting on Red's darkly brooding features.
"The Adams family will always give us grief over the speed of deliveries." Red was saying.
Personally, he loathed the little thugs. If it wasn't for their ability to have merchandise always on hand... he wouldn't deal with them. That didn't mean he wouldn't rid himself of them when the occasion presented itself.
"Why is this time any more critical than–" Red listened, finally focusing his interest.
Liz tugged at Silas' dark cargo pants.
The man glanced down, his scowl deepening.
Liz smiled prettily, pointing her reasons for daring to touch his person without express permission.
The guard told her; he had killed men for lesser offenses, which tickled her greatly at the time.
If she were honest with herself, it was the reason she invaded the man's space now.
He wasn't the only one who could be annoying, after all.
Silas followed the direction of the woman's well-manicured finger, grasping her meaning.
He sighed melodramatically but crossed obediently, grasping the champagne bucket and glasses in one hand.
Liz gasped, pointing diligently for Silas had forgotten something vital.
The guard's patience was clearly waning, but he trudged back securing the plate of chocolate-covered fruits in capable hands.
Liz sat back into her pillows, waiting patiently for her goodies to arrive.
Dismissing her surly guard's mood readily, Liz selected a plump, ripe berry from the selection offered. Smiling happily, she bit into the juicy treat.
She reached for her flute, pouting sullenly.
Silas' expression did not bode well, but lifted the bottle, pouring the sparkling beverage until the woman beamed sweetly up at him around her strawberry.
Liz graciously offered him a sip... but it only darkened the man's scowl more.
Silas sighed wearily turning his attention back to the ensuing conversation.
Red had witnessed the exchange, slightly amused by it but also wondered how a woman could turn off such heightened emotions so easily?
Was she not as involved as he in the proceedings in which they had frolicked?
Red scowled down at the outline of the still 'very' involved evidence on his part.
He watched Elizabeth bite into the delicious fruit; she felt his eyes, offering him some of her treat.
He couldn't help the smile, the gesture so sincere, so ingenuous, it rather touched him. He shook his head vetoing the gift.
Liz settled back, pulling her treasure closer, merrily sipping her champagne.
Silas heaved a sigh indicating he was getting bored. The guard glanced about, heaved the bottle out of the ice bucket and finished the remaining liquid in a few gulps.
Liz giggled for Silas' audacity and Red's exaggerated lift of offended hand.
How funny the way things changed.
Liz realized she should feel embarrassed, mortified even to have someone present while she and Red were in such a state and a short while ago... that would have been the case.
But now... it seemed natural. Even relaxed.
She rather enjoyed the level of comfort she had found with the man. To her, Silas had quickly become her right hand. She felt she could confide anything to the man at it would remain confidential.
Sure, the man would rib her tomorrow about what he interrupted, but even that... she felt like there was a camaraderie between them. A bond.
She allowed him to see her during an unguarded moment... and in turn, he shared Anya with her.
They were finding their own balance. Their own trust.
Her heart warmed for her guard. Silas was to her... what Dembe was to Red.
She crossed her eyes at the man, tittering her amusement when Silas took her glass away, sipping the cooled liquid before shoving it back into her nimble fingers.
She playfully batted his hand away when he tried to swipe a sweet treat, only to lose the battle when she hastily grasped the sheet to her breast.
The man smirked knowingly, victoriously popping the stolen bite into his waiting mouth.
"You're on the way?" Red questioned. He shifted his eyes, wincing inwardly. He certainly did not wish to interrupt such a time with Lizzy.
Liz frowned, her head tilting, "What?" she mouthed, halting her glass mid-sip.
"This has to be handled..." Red sighed wearily. "However, the timing is not exactly conducive to–"
Liz waved a hand to get his full attention, halting the man's words, "Go..." she whispered, nodding her acquiescence, her eyes softening.
The indecision was clear in Red's features. He didn't want to go. He wanted to stay. It warmed Liz's heart.
"It's okay." Liz smiled brightly for him. "Really."
"I know what's at stake, dammit!" Red snapped into the line.
While Michael Fairfax's interest ran to the money and routes this would afford them...
Red's only thought was for the lucrative opportunity which would allow him access to connections and merchandise that would aid in his endeavors.
Yes, he well knew the stakes involved on this particular mission.
Disappointment welled in his heart. He would have to make a difficult choice.
Liz smiled sympathetically, understanding his dilemma.
She caught his hand, bringing it to her cheek, nuzzling into it before kissing his palm in open affection.
She hoped the small gesture alerted him to the fact she didn't feel one bit neglected or insignificant. He had long since taken such emotions away.
Side glancing her guard, Liz hoped the man would give a hint of some sort that would convince Red... in this instance, business must be first on the list.
Silas scratched his head, shifting to the other foot.
"How far out are you, when will you arrive?" Red asked.
Michael was in flight, on his way to Red's location.
"I will meet you." the decision was cast. Red's mood fell.
Liz felt the man's disappointment keenly, empathizing.
She instinctively lifted her hand to his shoulder, her eyes falling absently.
"...Oh." the man's still evident arousal burned an imprint under the sheet. She lifted a devastated glance Silas' way.
Had he seen the...
Silas emitted a throaty chuckle which brought a vivid blush to Elizabeth's cheeks, her question answered.
And why? She felt comfortable with this man. Why should she feel otherwise? So what he saw the evidence of a job well done! One of which he encouraged!
She fought the blush, proud of her achievement.
Silas knew the face well. He rolled his eyes, admirably hiding his pride in the woman.
Liz had approached the evening with a steady determination... she had listened and prevailed. That much was obvious if the... evidence at hand was any indication.
Red covered the phone in hand, "Don't you have somewhere you have to fucking be?" he hissed his annoyance.
Silas' chuckle continued as he sauntered his impressive bulk across the room.
Red's expression was thunderous as he followed the cocky retreat.
"You two kids have fun now but remember..." the guard halted half in, half out the door, his look an insolent one, "practice safe sex."
Red's jaw worked irritably, instinctively reaching under his pillow, his hand curving about the stock of his weapon.
"Now, Red," Liz tsked her concern, staying his intent, "he's just being flippant. Ignore it."
Red 'flipped' the guy off.
Silas' chuckle returned as he shut the door, his mission in life, complete.
Red fumed in silence, staring daggers at the closed door, "I swear to God, one of these days..."
His interest fell away abruptly, another more pressing one taking form in the guise of Elizabeth's small fingers wrapping securely about his erection which sprang to sudden life once again with the warm touch.
She moved... closer, innocent eyes meeting his inquiring ones.
"Almost finished?" she crinkled her nose. Her free hand trailed a soothing path up the inside of Red's thigh.
She cupped his sack lovingly, leaning into his sphere. The blue eyes watching him intently.
"...Michael," Red cleared his throat, trying again for his voice had lacked its usual power,
"Michael, oh...no," he drew in a calming breath, parting his legs willingly when Elizabeth's exploration of his nether regions continued undaunted.
Settling her lips against his neck, her mouth curved when his breathing increased at the slight, teasing touch.
"No, it was just Silas being... Silas." he explained quickly. "Listen, normally any other time, I would offer over my complete and undivided attention but..." he caressed Lizzy's brow gently with his lips.
The woman boldly encircled his cockhead with practiced ease, teasing the taut flesh, idly circling the large helmet.
Red closed his eyes to the feel, "You've caught me at an awkward moment, I fear." he released pent-up emotions with an exhale, "I was in the middle of enjoying my..." he sought Lizzy out, his stare a heated one, "anniversary gift."
He ignored the man's knowing chuckle, more interested in Lizzy's gentle fingertip as it traveled from his slit to the more than sensitive underside of his shaft.
"Can we finish our business upon your arrival?" Red's tone held a certain amount of strain, he realized. Considering however, he thought he was holding up remarkably well under the circumstances.
"Teterboro, nine a.m.? Got it." he nodded absently. "I'll meet your flight."
Emboldened by his response, Liz grinned impishly at the man, straddling his thighs.
He grunted brokenly as Lizzy quickly situated his shaft against his belly, sliding her hot center evocatively along his strident length.
"Fuck..." he whispered hoarsely.
Liz nipped his lip, flicking a teasing tongue over the abused skin.
"What? Oh, yes." he recovered quickly. "I will be sure to give her your best." he closed the phone off, giving over his full attention.
His hands slid about the small hips, situating the woman where he needed her to be.
"Or rather," he playfully teased, his mouth seeking the full, pouty lips in a searing kiss, "I will give her my best."
Liz giggled for such audacity, "Oh, Mr. Reddington, you say the most risqué things."
"What a little cock-tease you are, Miss Scott." he managed a half-scowl. "I shall have to break you of such bothersome traits, I think."
Liz smiled placatingly, "You can try, Mr. Reddington."
"A challenge." the man murmured, his blood heating. "I do so love one."
Liz moved slowly, back and forth along his length, in truth, driving the man up the fucking wall.
"Why don't you be a good little secretary," he murmured, gently petting the dark fluff rubbing against him as incentive, "and sit on my lap, Miss Scott."
"If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that," she mused, glancing down to her pastime.
"I will make it worth your while, I promise." he enjoyed her spunk. The repartee amusing him. "There is a bonus in it for you... if you follow my directive."
Wiggling her little ass, Liz re-centered the man's shaft to drag along her clitoris, humming her delight.
"A big one." Liz murmured, her eyes closing to the sensations his body elicited.
Red's low chuckle sent a shiver along her spine.
"A very substantial one, yes... and in the process," his eyes dropped to her activity, mesmerized by the sight of his cock head emerging from between her labia, "perhaps we can curb those pesky urges of yours."
He growled deep in his chest when her clitoris slid along the sensitive underside of his cock, drawing a translucent bead of moisture from his slit.
Lifting to her knees, she bowed her bottom, gasping when the large erection bounced against her backside.
Reaching for the man's shaft, she set it at her opening, easing the thick head inside, "That would be so nice, Sir."
Elizabeth painstakingly slid down his length, mewing softly as the pleasure engulfed her senses.
Red pushed upward, the feminine gasp of gratitude pleasing him to no end.
His system went on high-alert. He held her hips firmly in place that she not take his delight away.
Bracing her hands on his broad chest, Liz settled him deep inside, sighing her contentment.
Red's eyes closed rapturously when her warm bottom settled against his thighs and sack.
"That is the most... sublime sensation," he whispered breathlessly.
Elizabeth writhed about anxiously, "If you don't assist me, Mr. Reddington," already the desire was building, "that may be the only sensation you will be afforded."
"You can do it, Miss Scott." his tone caressed silkily. "I have complete faith in your abilities."
Liz wasn't happy with his response, or lack of one... all ready the ache inside was causing great distress.
Red knew Lizzy preferred when he took command of the ship, though, he rather liked watching the woman perform when the opportunity presented itself.
He smiled warmly as she situated herself determinedly over his thick thighs. Bracing her small hands more securely, she settled more fully on his cock, slowly rocking her bottom at a measured pace.
"I knew that tight little sheath would fit me like a glove."
And it did, the silken luxury held him so lovingly snug.
Red's eyes fluttered closed, envisioning what this must look like from the foot of the bed. It was the most delightful image.
Her fingers curved into the mat of hair on his chest, squeezing the tense muscle beneath it. Her arms tightened, pushing her breasts together. The pert mounds bulged against their confinement, her nipples straining with her growing arousal.
Red's breath caught as her thumb rubbed teasingly against his own nipple, drawing it into a tight pebble.
"It's times like these," he lifted once feeling her frustration through the small out-cry, "I remember why I hired you Miss. Scott."
Red moaned weakly for the tight little cavern constricted powerfully as the woman struggled with her quest.
His heart raced as the slow, graceful roll of her slim hips found the rhythm that pleasured her most.
"Oh...yes," she moaned shakily, bouncing with more determination.
"There you go..." he husked his encouragement.
His fingers curved loosely about her hips, the delicate flesh brushing erotically against his warm hands.
His fingers slid up her torso, cupping her soft mounds, her nipples sharp against the soft of his palm.
"M-More..." Liz leaned, her dark locks falling about them in a cascade, swishing hypnotically with their increased movement.
His crisp chest hair tickled her nipples, their breathing becoming more than labored suddenly.
Guiding his hand to her back side, she moaned her relief as the man took her cheek in his grasp, pushing her down as encouragement against his upward thrust.
"Yes..." she gasped her elation. "God, yes...Red..."
Red's eyes darkened listening to the fucking erotic sounds of the woman getting off. His excitement soared as Lizzy's unrestrained cursing and the shaky, breathless cries of her passion increased as she neared rapture.
"You feel so good..." he growled his exhilaration watching his cock rapidly disappear into her dark curls, "...Yes." he hissed sharply.
Elizabeth's wanton mouth silenced him for a goodly spell. He had no cause for complaint.
Soon enough, the two lovers sank deep into the erotic dance, moving in concert with one another. Their aroused cries intermingling as one...
Red realized, what a fool he had been.
It took this one moment to make him fully comprehend how truly blessed and fortunate he was to have her support and understanding.
He worried in the beginning she might grow to resent... even hate the constant strain his position might put on their relationship.
He need not have worried, obviously.
Lizzy just let him know, in her own subtle way, should she desire his undivided attention... she would, without doubt... get it.
Only, he never expected in a million years that should he be waylaid by business or any other distraction, that Lizzy would capture his attention using this very unique method.
It went without saying, he was very much enjoying the surprise and was more than ready to handle those demands when they should arise.
While she enjoyed, even basked in his attention... she was just as content emerging herself in work or simply enjoying some quiet downtime, alone.
A precious commodity to a male. And to a female, he imagined.
It calmed his heart realizing that she found her comfort in solitude. She finally found her balance.
What was the old adage? How can one make another happy if he is not content unto himself?
An apt question and one couples had struggled with down through the ages.
Red has his own struggle at present. He decided to put his whole heart and soul into resolving that.
Which is exactly what he did.
Elizabeth walked carefully, cautiously, her eyes constantly darting into the creepy, shapeless shadows of the endless alleyway.
The dirt and filth of the place permeated the air. Trash of every sort blew along the wet pavement at her feet. The pungent stench of decay wrinkling her nose.
Oily water lay in stagnant puddles and ran haphazardly into the numerous crack and crevices of concrete that had seen better days.
The oppressive heat, stale air and tall tenement buildings towering overhead, closed in around her, leaving it hard to breathe.
Large dark, cracked window panes stared back sightlessly. Her eyes darted from one to another... finding none held her reflection within.
She startled, spinning about quickly as a large rodent scurried unhurriedly across the dimly lit path she walked, its grotesque face making her shiver involuntarily...
Red awoke, some inner sense alerting him to a problem.
The woman beside him lay tense and coiled, the beautiful brow furrowed broodingly. She shivered visibly. He moved instinctively closer.
Elizabeth forced herself to move onward. She sensed she must... she had to keep going. She must reach him, she could not fail him.
He needed her.
Red raised to his elbow, watching the lovely face with a critical eye. Much of Lizzy's features were shadowed in the darkness of the room but he sensed her distress, wondering at his options.
It was late. She was tired, surely.
Perhaps whatever disturbed her rest would pass on its own.
The wind picked up, the strength of it whipping Liz's hair into her line of vision.
She raked the strands absently aside, swallowing hard.
A mammoth door had materialized. It stood, baring her path. The path she must tread... a deep-seeded fear now gnawed at her mind.
She did not want to approach that door, let alone open it.
What lay behind?
She stepped back, recoiling from its vicinity for it moved closer and closer, looming menacingly over her, taunting her...
Terrifying her.
Red moved closer, soothing the woman's brow, the soft murmurs of a nightmare alerting him to Elizabeth's state finally.
"It's okay, baby... I'm here."
He conformed his body to hers, leaning over the troubled woman, his own brow furrowed with concern.
"Wake up now..."
"It's okay, baby..."
The words reassured and suddenly the door didn't seem such a fearsome thing. She knew that voice.
"I'm here..."
Elizabeth rushed forward, her hand gripping the ornate handle rapidly.
She threw wide the door...
Her smile of relief faded into oblivion.
They were standing over him... their faces holding a sadistic grimace of triumph... delight.
"No!" she knew their intent, just as she knew, nothing she could do would prevent it.
"D-Don't!" her pleading fell on deaf ears. "Stop!"
She scrambled, reaching around... the fear... the hopelessness intensifying, when she found her weapon missing.
"No!" she screamed at the hands holding her back, struggling against their unmovable power.
Red tightened his embrace on the trembling form, closing his eyes to the terror present in Elizabeth's frantic cries.
"Wake up, baby." he whispered his own growing desperation. "It's just a damned dream, that's all..."
They looked at her... all three of them.
The faceless men looked at her with empty, soulless eyes.
She sought the man who lay at their feet... in the grime and dirt of the street.
Red's eyes held such an infinite sadness... he shook his head minutely, those eyes softening for one brief second in time and she knew he was saying his last goodbye.
Everything moved in slow motion.
The weapons were lowered, pointing.
She screamed... pulling with all her strength on the sightless obstacle holding her back.
The fire spurt from the deadly barrels, lighting the darkness with each explosive burst.
Red's body jerked upward as the bullets penetrated his torso...
Over and over... again and again...
Red started, surprised by the shrill screams. He pulled back slightly, reacting before he could prevent the action.
Joe burst into the darkness of the room, nearly taking the door from its hinges, weapon drawn and aimed with deadly accuracy.
Red's own weapon lifted automatically as he shielded Liz's body protectively.
Joe hastily averted the weapon, rushing to the far edge of the room, scanning the darkened interior for signs of trouble.
Red's arm lowered as Silas' bulk filled the doorway, as the guard too arrived, ready to assist in whatever crisis had arisen.
Dembe was not far behind, hovering outside the door, a formidable back-up to be reckoned with.
"It's a fucking nightmare." Red's tone was a grave one. "I can't get her to wake up..."
Silas flipped the light switch. All three men approached the center structure of the room, all having ascertained that no real problem presented itself this night.
Liz's struggles were real, however. She frantically squirmed about, twisting and turning, this way and that.
Red was careful to preserve her modesty, but it was becoming more difficult to prevent the woman from harming herself, her strength surprised him.
Liz rushed to Red, kneeling beside him. The unforgiving concrete jabbing painfully into her knees. Her eyes anxiously scanning the blood-soaked area of his clothing.
Oozing red rivulets of life trickled out with each ragged breath the man took. One wound in particular caught her attention. She placed her hands over the gaping hole, physically attempting to hold back the flow of thick, sticky blood.
"My God." she whispered brokenly, watching the red liquid seep through her fingers. "...My G-God."
Red's breathing was shallow, raspy, an odd wheeze escaping his blood spotted lips.
"It's okay, Lizzy. You're fine... safe."
She looked at him, meeting those light blue orbs which stared back at her, the light fading second by second within.
"M-Me?" a terror filled her heart. "Red... don't go!" she sensed it was out of his hands this time... that he had to leave. "Please, stay here!"
Silas knelt beside the bed, studying the woman diligently, "It's a night terror."
All those present witnessed such things with their men before and after combat situations. Hell, had even experienced the occurrence themselves.
"Move carefully, Raymond." Dembe warned. "It is very real to her, whatever she is experiencing."
Wrapping his arms about her, Red held the fighting woman stationary. Quickly rolling the woman into the bedding, he forced his knee between Lizzy's, settling into the gap provided. Leaning his weight into her small body.
Tucking her arms at her sides, Liz pressed at some imaginary wound in Red's chest.
"Please!" she whimpered, still fighting Red's hold for all she was worth. "Please...someone help him..."
Joe was troubled for the young woman. He'd grown fond of Elizabeth. He hated she was going through such a horrible ordeal.
When he heard the raw, uninhibited feminine sounds coming from Red and Liz's bedroom, he'd been amused. Tonight had been no different from any other night.
The quiet ensued after a spell, however. He settled down to his routine. Minutes ago... that spine chilling scream jostled him from normalcy.
All he could do at the moment was wait, just like everyone else and hope Elizabeth came out of the nightmare soon.
Nightmare hardly described what the woman was experiencing. He knew how real... just how horrific the journey could feel.
"Don't go..." Elizabeth sobbed faintly, all the fight and hope gone, "Red...please... don't leave me here."
Red's brow pinched with strain, watching Lizzy in the throes of her terror.
"Elizabeth!" he snapped sternly, brusquely jolting the bed as he did so.
The woman's face scrunched with distress, her balled fists pushing helplessly at Red's weight, fighting the restraint weakly now.
"I can't do this alone." she whispered shakily. "I can't."
"Dammit..." Red hissed. He controlled his own distress, taking a calming breath.
"Lizzy..." Red murmured in the woman's ear, "it's nothing but a nightmare." he soothed. "If you'll open your beautiful eyes," he kissed the delicate lashes before working his way back to her mouth, "...you'll see."
The man's mood fell further when the woman's lip quivered uncontrollably, tears falling from the corner of her eyes.
"We're safe.." he continued softly, gently kissing the tears away, "it's over, baby..."
Tightly squeezing his eyes shut, he fought against the urge to forcefully drag the woman upright and shake her into awareness... her despair was so acute.
The woman's lips curved into a tight pout but she slowly turned towards the sound of his voice, easing her struggles even more so, he gratefully acknowledged.
"Yes..." Red tenderly kissed the concentrated frown, "you hear me, don't you?" he crooned, peppering her mouth with gentle affection. "I'm here, sweetheart," he assured.
Elizabeth sensed her life ebbing right along with Red Reddington's.
She felt his breath lessen with each passing second. Steadily holding her hands over the heart area, but the strong vital beat had diminished.
She could not feel even the slightest tremor inside his chest cavity. She felt numb inside.
The red ooze halted its flow. Readjusting her hold, she added more pressure.
She was doing it wrong... something was wrong.
Something was terribly wrong.
"Hey..." Silas spoke in an even tone.
Elizabeth started... she knew that voice as well.
"Get out of the way." Silas' customary brusque tone filled the silence of the tense room.
The man gently moved Elizabeth's hands aside.
"I got this... I can do it." Silas stated.
Liz's hand twitched under his hold, hesitating a moment, "He won't... listen to me." she replied tearfully.
"I'm not going anywhere," Red stressed his tone, "I promise."
"He will listen to me." Silas promised as well.
The woman eased her hand from under the large palm, allowing the invasion.
Coming alongside Silas, Dembe crouched, "Raymond is fine..." he said in his calming manner.
Liz struggled, trying desperately to break the surface of the dark murky substance surrounding her.
"We are safe here..." Dembe continued.
Red tenderly petted the wild hair framing her face. He took the handkerchief Dembe offered, blotting away the beads of sweat on her small face.
Liz took a lungful of air, gasping for reality.
"Yes..." Red soothed, "open your eyes."
Turning away from the bedside lamp, the woman squinted away from the light Silas had switched on. Red grasp her chin gently, making sure the first thing she saw, was his face.
Liz startled awake, her eyes flying open.
"We're all right..." Red urged quickly.
Her eyes flew to Red's torso, finding Silas' hand on Red's chest... just as he promised, for the man had hastily replaced the appendage knowing her senses would be fuzzy when she first came around.
Liz's trembling hand gingerly reached for the imaginary wound that had caused her so much pain and despair. Silas removed his hand, showing her... Red's unblemished flesh.
Red caught her fingers, pressing them against his warm, dry skin as further assurance.
Elizabeth stared transfixed.
It had seemed so real... so very... real.
She lifted a dazed stare.
Red engulfed her in his embrace, holding tightly to the shaking form, his stomach churning chaotically for her state of mind.
"Shh," Red opened himself to the distraught woman, "it's all right. It was just a bad dream."
Liz scrunched herself closer into his tight hold, grasping at his stability.
"See," he crooned softly, pulling the trembling woman closer, "we're all here. Everyone is okay... everyone is fine."
Liz shifted her eyes to her surroundings. They were not in a filthy alley at all.
Dembe and her guys stood beside the bed, armed and alert. She found solace in that. She glanced between them, wondering how it was possible for men wearing nothing but pants, to be so imposing.
"I'm sorry..." she wept her embarrassment and regret.
"Do not concern yourself, Elizabeth." Dembe murmured solicitously
"It's been a long day." Silas added, brushing off the unneeded apology.
Liz nodded jerkily against Red's neck, tightening her arm about his shoulders.
Easing to his side, Red took her with him as he went. The woman inched closer into his hold, regardless.
Dembe grasped a throw blanket. Joe moved the blankets at the foot of the bed, closer to Red's reach, both men sensing a small way to assist.
Once situated, Dembe billowed the throw specifically over Elizabeth.
"Thank you all," Red rubbed the woman's back in a methodical pattern. "I think the worst has passed."
Lifting his eyes slowly, checking with Dembe and Silas who nodded minutely in agreement.
Dembe gestured for the other two to proceed him, "Call if assistance is needed."
Red waved a hand, silently thanking each man for their timely response and concern, the door was closed behind them.
The room went back to its normal, complacent quietness.
Running his large palm against the naked expanse of Liz's back, Red gently adjusted her even closer into his hold, allowing her body to become flush with his warm one.
Why now? He wondered. He thought they were working well towards erasing any doubts or fears she may carry.
"Lizzy? Talk to me." Red muttered softly, rubbing her hip, warming her chilled frame.
The woman shook her head, keeping her face hidden in the crook of his neck. She wasn't ready.
Sighing, Red ducked his face into her neckline, kissing the baby soft skin, allowing her a moment to gather her thoughts.
He learned quickly on, Lizzy would always need a few moments to find her center... her reality.
He would just have to wait it out.
He supposed, he couldn't blame her.
It had been eons since the woman had a trusted confidante she could truly be vulnerable with.
He understood the premise of such a way of life.
It had been so long since someone had comforted him that when Lizzy offered her support as they stood over Jack's grave at Arlington... he had needed a moment to let that reality sink in.
She administered to his fragile state so lovingly. He still reveled in the gentle nurturing embrace as he wept that day.
When the hell was it the last time he cried, and not just cried... but sobbed his heart out?
When he lost his daughter, he supposed. No other time came to mind. Red had learned how to channel his grief, how to bottle his emotions... how to shut them down completely if necessary.
The words Lizzy bestowed upon him that day had also been wholly unexpected. She didn't just see the monster anymore, but the human inside.
There had been no censure that a man, who killed supposedly without conscience, could feel pain for someone he loved who had passed. He felt no form of judgement from Lizzy.
There were no empty phrases to appease the man either. Just quiet words of empathy. Liz had lost loved ones. She knew... she understood.
And if he were to admit it, Red had seen a glimpse of himself he thought long dead, at that grave.
In that split moment in time, Red had seen another side of Elizabeth Keen.
She had been steadfast in her comfort, the long minutes he grieved.
Such a private moment had arisen this night as well. And at this moment, Lizzy sought him out, needed his comfort.
She held him close, her arms embracing him tightly, allowing the pain to ebb in its own time.
Everything he lost in his life seemed magnified that fateful day. All of it pouring back like a downpour designed to bring the man to his knees. It would have been so easy to surrender to the overwhelming emotions.
But Red hadn't been beaten because Elizabeth had been there. Her compassion filling the gaping holes of his life which had been torn asunder.
Such a private, special moment... grievously intimate in nature, and yet made totally acceptable by the ready empathy from Elizabeth... that even Red Reddington was allowed a moment of weakness.
She was a port in the storm that day... a stay hold when he needed it most.
He tried so hard to be the same for her.
And so, he waited patiently now, feeling his inadequacies deeply. He wished he could do more.
Most of his contemporaries found such an emotional state uncomfortable, he knew. Consoling a distraught female was something they avoided like the plague.
Red didn't feel like that at all.
That's not how he saw it.
There were good times. There were bad times. One didn't cancel out the other.
They just were. You handled them to the best of your ability and hopefully came out stronger on the other side.
Lizzy settled a bit, her tears subsiding. He waited for a better sign, however, that all was well.
Shifting to wrap his other arm about her, Red methodically rubbed what he could reach of her small body, hopefully soothing her further.
"Tell me..." he muttered encouragingly, his tone supportive, concerned.
Over time, Liz slowly repeated her dream to him in hesitant stages. She constantly sought to connect her hand, reaching, touching him, as if reassuring herself this was not a dream.
"You were down," she sought his eyes, the pain within them undisguised, "... and they just kept shooting you."
Red got lost in the slow rhythmic motion of his hand massaging small circles into her flesh, concentrated in the sordid, violent tale she related.
He could understand now where the trauma originated.
It had been a long couple days, weeks really. One tragedy after another seemed to plague them.
So much had transpired in their lives. A few incidents came to mind. He had been shot... twice. She and Silas made it through a car wreck, Carver approached her, Tom was stalking her...and today, she had watched her lover taking heavy fire.
It was no wonder the woman cracked under those conditions.
He should have anticipated this... especially after tonight.
Lizzy had been given a token glimpse of the life she and Red could experience if matters were different. If he was not who he was.
...If she were not who she was.
Their evening had been... wonderful.
Dinner, dancing, romance... followed by playful lovemaking and a gifted symbol of commitment and promises of so much more, all of which were given to her by a man who loved her deeply and without reservation.
But Lizzy, having a touch of fatalistic tendency, waited for that to be ripped away from her.
And who the hell could blame her?
Everything she loved had been stolen away her entire life.
But not this time, not if he had anything to say about it.
He couldn't promise her nightmare would not eventually come to pass. That things like that would never happen. He couldn't even assure her he would evade such a circumstance, especially considering the events that took place earlier.
He sighed mentally, "We take all the precautions we can, Lizzy." he murmured. "All we can do is try to prevent such an occurrence. I do try my best. I assure you."
She exhaled shakily, reaffirming her hold.
"Trust me on that." he asked. "I will do everything in my power to come home to you every day."
The silence engulfed them for a few moments. Liz's hand gripped his tightly at one point, worrying his fingers with her own, a good sign her anxiety had not passed. She wrapped her arm around his waist, moving decidedly closer to him.
"What are you thinking?" he murmured, sensing she needed something he had not supplied as yet.
"It's just..." she said, "it was such a great evening and–"
"And it still is." Red assured. "We're here, together, right?"
She nodded, settling more comfortably in his arms.
"But... that's not what you were thinking." he said. "Is it?"
Red smiled when the woman slumped dejectedly against him... knowing he wouldn't let her off easy.
"If we don't discuss it, it won't get better, will it."
"Is it.." she hesitated, "always like that? Today, I mean?" she asked, lifting trusting eyes. "I know you don't tell me everything and–"
"Today was... an odd occurrence." he replied readily. "We're usually afforded more cover." he admitted. "More man power."
Having time to rethink the incident, she fretted, "Why didn't Francis–"
"Francis was willing to send a whole battalion but," Red captured her lips in a fleeting brush of intimacy, "that would have made things too confusing. I surround myself with capable men with each passing circumstance. They will adapt, regroup and manage."
Liz knew that. There had to be a clear definition of who was who to limit the chances of friendly fire, as well.
"I saw..." she exhaled shakily, recalling the moment, "one of our guys, on the roof."
Red remained quiet, allowing her to gather her thoughts. To express her fears aloud.
"He had a problem with his weapon or," she shrugged minutely, "something, I don't know."
Red frowned slightly, wondering where she was going with this.
"He had to fight, hand to hand with a guy up there." she said.
Red's frown deepened. It was unlike his men to not carry a back-up. He would look into the matter.
"I think," she lifted confused eyes, "he stabbed the other guy." she shook her head. "All I know for certain is, the bad guy fell. It was horrible, Red. The reality."
The man tempered his reaction to want to protect her from such a sight, even knowing what the woman did for a living.
Red would never understand the nature of humans, those that couldn't look away from a car wreck or that would crowd around to see Carvers victim in a body bag. It was a knee jerk reaction he couldn't tame. It disgusted him, such people. It disquieted the man.
He wanted desperately to spare Lizzy such things in life even though he knew such things were a reality of life.
He was fully aware she knew such things existed. Had even seen a few. But to think of her seeing it playing out in real time, was a totally different kettle of fish. He couldn't help wishing to shield her from the horrors mankind inflicted on their brethren.
Red had lived a full life; he knew what happened out in the world. More than most. And if he was honest with himself, delivered the death blow himself more times than he wanted to count.
At one time he thought he may have lost his humanity, but if that were true, would he be wishing to cover Lizzy's eyes, blocking sight from the horror of it all?
Maybe she had found a little piece he had left inside? A piece only she could bring out of him? A piece that had been there all this time, waiting in reserve, to be used for the right person?
Waiting for... her.
But as to the question itself, what about it had stuck in her mind?
"The method of one's demise can be very disturbing." he agreed. "But you know that. What exactly was the point of your observation?" he finally asked.
She swallowed hard, taking a breath, "Have you..." she hesitated, "ever... what was it like for you..."
Red became introverted, not certain this was the time or place. He placated.
"I was not always as I am, Lizzy." he tried to recall those times but it was becoming increasingly difficult, for he suppressed that period diligently for so many years now.
"I'm just trying to," she wasn't certain what she was attempting in reality, "I guess I hope that, you don't feel, what I felt today. Seeing that man... fall."
Red remained silent, his face grim.
"Does it hurt you? Did you feel..." the words she searched for, forming. "The first time..."
"I felt sick. It bothered me for a very long time." his jaw tightened, recalling the emotions. "I didn't want..." he sighed, pushing the misery aside, "he didn't give me an option. I tried to push him away, to give him an out..." he explained, shaking his head.
"But I was the enemy and you kill the enemy." he continued, reciting the mantra he had been taught. "It came down to him or me. And with a new baby at home, I was going to make sure it was me that walked away."
"There must have been times..." she hesitated, unsure how to voice the question. "Was there a moment when you believed you wouldn't..."
Red understood the question all too well.
"I've been in firefights so intense, you could sense Death looking over your shoulder, standing by... waiting." he licked suddenly parched lips.
"The sound of a bullet tickling your ear drum made you numb for a moment, with the thought... what could have been." he admitted. "A few close combat situations that got a little hairy." he shrugged those away.
"Were you scared?"
"Sometimes, but sometimes I wasn't." he told the truth. "When I was younger, I was cocky." he arched a brow, remembering his over-inflated ego. "As I got a little older, I realized I wasn't so invincible. But then, I had experience and a lot of anger on my side." he chuckled hollowly. "It really just depended on the situation."
"Did you ever think you were going to die?"
"A few times, yes." he nodded.
"How, what happened?" she was on edge. Coiled so tight, anxiousness and despair were the upmost emotions present.
"...Lizzy." he sighed wearily.
"I need to know." she whispered tightly. "I need to know what the worst has been so I know your chances of walking away."
Red hesitated, unsure of his options here. He studied her face for a long moment. He read the fear.
In this instance, not knowing would cause more damage than the truth which he could spin any way he wished to protect her.
"There was one time," he kept his tone calm and steady. He hadn't been so calm and steady at the time, he remembered. Viciously pissed, was a more apt description.
"I had been taken prisoner. For some reason I can't even fathom now, I was being most uncooperative." he smiled but she couldn't echo the gesture, those eyes troubled and fretful.
"So there I was... a prisoner, immobile. At the mercy of this guy who I was certain was relatively pissed off at me," he sing-songed his head, telling the tale in his own inimitable fashion.
"And for no reason I could fathom, completely out of the blue," Red halted the narrative, wondering if he should stop sharing so freely, "the son-of-a-bitch sticks a gun in my mouth."
Liz stifled her gasp of horror for she needed the knowledge that was forthcoming. She needed it even more desperately now.
Red revisited that moment in his life, taking a few seconds, "I didn't like the sensation of the damned thing at all... left a rather unpleasant metallic taste in your mouth for days."
"Red..." she sighed wearily for his flippancy. The silence was strained for her, not so much for the man.
"You know, I just sat there... watching as he pulled that trigger back," he flicked his tongue about his mouth, "it's amazing the things one considers at such a time. I kept thinking of this old dog I once saw on the side of the road..."
Liz lay quietly, her head against his chest. She listened to the rolling timber of his voice. His heart beat.
"Dembe and I had taken a wine tour in the South of France. We were driving down this dirt road, our GPS having gone on the fritz, failing us dismally... and there he was," Red waved a hand, "looking half-starved, large brown eyes staring up at me, tongue hanging out to the side... the dog, not Dembe mind you."
Liz couldn't get past the trigger being pulled back. The thought of how very close the man had come within...
"Dembe pulled over. I mean, what else could we do, right?" Red laughed shortly. "So there we were, out in the middle of nowhere, sharing our lunch of sorts. A bag of roasted peanuts we bought off some kids peddling them on a street corner and what was left of my breakfast..."
He nodded to himself in remembrance, "If we're ever in that part of France, remind me to take you to this quaint little bistro. They make the most exquisite quiche..."
Liz held tight to his stability of the man, the soft, melodic voice calming her nerves like a soothing balm.
"We shared our water and wine with our canine friend, he seemed to have an affinity with Dembe's Merlot... no accounting for taste, there." the man stopped to breathe, "All in all, we spent a most pleasant hour. All three suitably bolstered by our respite."
Red lowered his eyes taking in the woman quietly listening, "We took to our respective paths in life... the dog scampered off into the orchards and Dembe and I, our spirits renewed, were once again determined to persevere in our quest for the elusive winery that had eluded us thus far."
The silence returned.
"Red," Liz lifted a soulful stare, "what happened with the man?"
"My people rushed in at exactly the right moment to save my ass." he shrugged nonchalantly. "Which is what I pay them handsomely to do, isn't it?"
Liz processed, her voice steady enough now, "Did they kill him?"
Red briefly thought about lying. He thought very hard on the subject.
"...No." he said, "he escaped, sadly."
"The information he wanted. That you wouldn't give him," she had already figured it out, "it was about me, wasn't it?"
Red could already surmise the outcome of this little tête-à-tête, "In a manner of speaking." he hedged his bets.
"So, he is still out there... looking for me?" her tone sounded so normal, so mundane that the man crooked his head to catch a glimpse of her expression.
"If that is the case, he is wasting what little time he has remaining on the planet," again, he evaded, "let's just say, we have some unfinished business that needs attending."
"What does he want from you?" Liz was at a loss.
Red tightened his arm around her, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. "...You."
Liz was stunned, sudden realization dawning. While she had been living daily life; going to the grocery store, watching a movie, enjoying a meal. Doing all the normal trivial things a person did, day to day...
Red had been there, in the background... watching over her, protecting her.
Even to the extent of risking his own life to ensure hers continued on.
Not giving away her location, even when some maniac stuck a gun in Red's mouth... he hadn't sold her out... he'd protected her.
Liz shuddered visibly, "...Why?" She breathed her awe, her stricken eyes seeking an answer.
"Why does he want you?" Red queried quietly.
Liz shook her head, "Why would you give up your life... for mine?" the idea boggled her mind. "And why is this bastard necessitating that you do?!"
Red took his time formulating an answer. He could feel the nervous tension in Lizzy's body.
"He thinks I facilitated Katarina's disappearance." he rubbed his fingers into his tired eyes. "He wants to get his hands on the Fulcrum, for his own benefit, reasons." there were any number of reasons. "It's complicated, Lizzy."
The woman's head was reeling with the reasons and possibilities and what-ifs.
She knew this was probably not the best time to get into a long complicated explanation, "You're speaking about... my mother's husband."
"Yes." Red drew in a breath. "But none of it matters because he will never, ever, get to you." he lifted her face with a gentle hand.
"What kind of person is he?" she had to wonder. "This man who acted the part of my father in some capacity for at least four years," Liz was getting upset again, anger boiling to the surface for the injustice of it all, "four years for God's sake... apparently he had no feelings for me at all. His only interest, his only concern is... the Fulcrum."
"Consider the source and when you do... realize that in the larger scheme of things," Red reminded, kissing her forehead gently, "these people have no importance in your life what-so-ever."
"Never did, I guess." she lay back against him, mentally exhausted.
If she had learned nothing else tonight though, Liz knew, without doubt, Red Reddington protected those important and close to him.
"Are you afraid?" he hated to think she might be experiencing such turbulent emotions.
"I'm more pissed," she granted, "and worried for everyone around me. That they could end up hurt or worse because of me."
"Well, don't be. None of us are ready to check out, just yet. We'll go when we're damn well ready to and not one second before." he assured. "Roll over." he pushed gently on her hip.
She rolled to her other side, giving him space. Red moved forward, wrapping his body around hers. His evened breathing and warmth relaxed Lizzy, making her eyes heavy.
"We're all safe." he crooned quietly in her ear and continued to do so until she relaxed. "And you know damn well that wasn't what I meant. I asked if you were afraid."
Liz dropped her eyes, idly tracing the lines in the large hand laying against her stomach.
"I couldn't help you today, I couldn't do anything to–" she huffed her irritation. "I was useless to you and everyone there."
Tom Keen... Carver. Her inability to assist them today. They had thrown Lizzy for a loop. She was feeling unsure again, unsure of herself.
Just like he had, even after facing great uncertainty.
She needed reassurance she would get through this... recover and persevere.
Red had felt these things countless times when he was her age. He understood. He knew how to fix the problem.
"You'll be normal again, Lizzy." he murmured quietly. "You'll go on just as you did before."
She was quiet a moment before turning her head slightly. "How do you know?"
She had been looking to him for the security she had been missing, but was slowly gaining back under his ever patient care. It scared her now though... this set-back.
When he had been taken down, it rocked her stability, her foundation.
She thought if there wasn't hope he would be all right, then what chances did she have?
It hadn't mattered that he ended up being fine. That it all seemed to muddle, fade into the background after tonight. To see someone she saw as larger than life, unshakable... go down with one shot. Lizzy kept replaying that horror in her mind's eye.
Failure was a relative term to Red. That he was alive and breathing was a win, in his opinion. He had changed his viewpoint a long way back..
"Everyone gets bruised and battered along the way," he said, "it's how you come out on the other side that matters." he truly believed that axiom for he lived it most days.
But Lizzy hadn't learned that yet.
With Carver, she fought against a large man and survived. That she hadn't taken him down... that he was still out there, taunting her. She considered it a failure on her part she hadn't ended the bastard.
After her accident with Silas... she held herself together. And twice today, she proved herself cool and calm under pressure.
Red remembered thinking these things to himself, but he never voiced them to her. He should have reminded her of the strength and fortitude she had within herself.
Hell, even Red needed to be reminded sometimes what his end goal was...especially when everything was going to hell. That's what Dembe was there for, among a multitude of other reasons.
"You didn't lose. You are not useless. And you sure as hell are not a failure." he grumbled. "You survive where others don't."
She sighed her disgruntlement, shaking her head.
"Baby, survival is paramount." he stressed. "Not winning."
She fell quiet for a long moment, so long in fact, he thought perhaps she drifted back to sleep.
"How do you do it?" she whispered. "How do you push past the... fear?"
"Because I have something to live for." he kissed the back of her head, enjoying the soft tickle of her hair. "Something to fight for." he tightened his arm about her waist.
She moved back, letting him curve more of his body around her.
"When you have that..." he continued softly, "you can beat any odds they throw at you, didn't you know?"
Liz turned her ear towards the soothing voice, focusing.
"No one can take that away from you..." he whispered urgently.
"Keep that in mind at all times, Lizzy. They don't have it." he explained. "They are at a disadvantage whether they know it or not. You always have the upper hand."
Clasping his hand, she squeezed it... hard.
"And you will always," he closed his eyes, his world suddenly serene and calm, "... have me."