Hello, CurlyFriesAP, I hope you continue to click on my story. I'm glad your still reading, and I know that my story is unpredictable... I guess that's just how I write.
Hello reve03sinistre, I appreciate your honest opinon about the whole JacobBella and EdwardAstrid thing. I do have a dirrect direction that I plan to take the story so I hope you can be more opened minded to the idea. Please keep reading. :)
Bella's point of view:
It was strange sitting next to Jacob and not Edward. Jacob had his hand sitting limply on my leg with a soft smile plastered on his lips. I guess he was trying to be comforting but I wasn't comforted in the least bit by it. If anything I felt it only intensified the tension of the moment.
As Edward sat across from us I could see no trace of jealously what so ever from him. It was sort of disappointing in a way. By now I had expected him to be mad with anger and jealously; but he wasn't. He seemed to sit there so calmly; as if he was in peace and not tormented with pain or jealously.
Perhaps he was just buying his time and suppressing it as best he could for the moment. Whichever it was, he seemed to be doing a good job of it. I finally looked up at Edward for the first time in such in a long time and smiled slightly as I took in the sight of his hand around Astrid's shoulders. Despite my great love for Jacob that I had accumulated over the years, I couldn't help the twinge of jealously that I felt in watching Edward being intimate with another. It was unnerving to me in the strangest way.
Jacob looked over at me with a bright reassuring smile on his face. He seemed to be trying really hard to comfort me in my moment of silence. However much I appreciated this, my feelings of uneasiness did not change over the passing of the awkward moment.
"Let us not sit in gloom," I Edward say in amusement, "this should be a happy occasion should it not?" Edward's smile radiated with a joy that I had not seen for awhile. Perhaps this new woman was the cause of it. Yet if she was the cause of this new Edward, it did not explain why Edward still continued to pursue me with great force. But perhaps he's finally given up in attempts to have me. Has he?
"Our dear sweet Bella is getting married soon and it is my privilege," he smiled again with delight, "to take the groom on a very special outing before he is married." I instantly looked at Jacob with a little shock in my face. Did he just say what I thought he just said? Jacob looked at me with a confused look. My guess was that it was also a great surprise to Jacob. Edward and Jacob? On and outing? Alone? That was just world war three in the making.
"Of course it doesn't have to be today, but after all," Edward continued with a smirk still playing on his lips, "our Bella with no longer be single. And this lucky man," Edward said standing up and making his way over to Jacob, "will be her lover for times to come. "
I eyed Edward suspiciously wondering what he could possibly be up to. There was no way Edward turned nice overnight. Or that he suddenly started liking Jacob for no apparent reason. Jacob seemed troubled and surprised about the whole situation, but when Edward started talking about the fact of Jacob and I becoming one, only then did he seem to take pleasure in what he was hearing. He leaned over and kissed me tenderly on my lips. I didn't return the kiss, but just simply sat there with a stunned gaze on my face.
I heard Astrid shyly laugh as Edward took his place back on the couch and then nuzzled her neck a little. I took my eyes off her and stared at Edward again with a look of uncertainty. I knew he was up to something but what it was I could not imagine. On the outside his plan seemed harmless, but I knew it must be deeper than that.
When Edward caught my eye he simply grinned as if he was as innocent as a child. Through the cold hard silence that had taken place again Astrid was the first one to speak.
"Bella, you have not said a word since this festive conversation. I fear you must be astounded with happiness." Her laugh echoed through the room like wind chimes in a soft breeze. I felt my eye twitch as I watched her nestle into Edward's chest. "I hope you won't mind my helping with the wedding. Nothing more would bring two new sisters together." She smiled at me with love in her eyes.
It seemed to me that this woman was always the type of woman I had imagined Edward with. Certainly not me. Her eyes sparkled like the sun on ocean waters and her hair sway delicately across her shoulders with each movement she made. She had the body of Aphrodite herself and she continued to shower Edward with glimpses of love. She looked at him with such trust, such loyalty. She in this one moment seemed to put years of my love for Edward to shame.
And for this, I hated her.
When I didn't answer she looked to Edward with puzzlement and concern. This whole time I had managed to listen to the discussion with out saying a word. But now I feared the whole room was waiting for my reply.
I straightened my body and quietly cleared my throat. I struggled to put on a jubilant smile and said, "Nothing would make me happier then to have you help Alice plan the wedding." Astrid's smile died down a little as she looked over at Alice. When I too looked at Alice she didn't seem too pleased with the idea of having help with the wedding, but to hide her feelings of distaste she quickly smiled.
"Oh, yes. It would be pleasant to have some help. After all there are so many details. I feel that the more help I have, the better we can make Bella's wedding what it should be."
Edward looked over at me and gleamed with a soft smirk, "Perhaps instead, the two of you, being both brides, could both look at wedding dresses tomorrow. I've heard of this little shop-"
"I already have my wedding dress," I snapped cutting him off in mid sentence. To this Edward remained silent with an even wider grin on his lips. I kicked myself on the inside for letting him take advantage of my emotions. The fact that Edward was getting to me made my blood boil more than ever. Jacob, with a glance of worry, put his arm around my shoulders and rubbed them lightly so as to calm me down. When I looked around the room I saw that everyone was gawking at me with awkwardness and concern.
No matter how hard I was trying to hide my anger over Edward's interference with my life I couldn't seem to claim control over my temper. So in a last attempt to put everyone at ease again I, with great effort, smiled and then turned to Edward, "I'm Sorry," I said through gritted teeth, "I didn't mean to let my temper get the best of me. There seems to be so many details that go into planning a wedding. I find that sometimes I get a little short tempered." To this Edward smiled and nodded like he was sympathetic, when I knew that deep down he was overjoyed with satisfaction.
Even though I knew that Alice would be taking over the planning and details of the wedding I still had to have a reason for why I snapped at Edward other than the fact that he was just pissing me off at the moment with his overly fake demeanor.
I glared at Edward in between glances at him so that it wouldn't look too obvious to everyone else. Although Esme seemed to catch onto the fact that Edward and I were both at each other's throat. She stood up gracefully seizing the instant attention of the room and gave attention to Jacob and me.
"Well I too agree that this is a most cheerful event and should be honored with celebration." Esme walked up to us and handed a small card to me. I looked up at her and then smiled as I peered down at the card. "I figured we could at treat you to a pleasant lunch in for just the two of you."
I quickly stood up and wrapped my arms around Esme. "Thank you," I said smiling at her. At the moment I would give anything to be away from Edward, alone. I felt as if he had a huge knife in my side and he took great delight in twisting and turning it in me. Jacob too stood up and looked at the card in my hand. With one glance his eyes lit up and the smirk that was already on his face grew to a large smile.
"Italian's shrimp house!" Jacob said in shock. I grinned at him and then at Esme. Italian's Shrimp House was one of the most expensive restaurants in town. They charged outrageous amounts of money for one plate of food. However the town always raved that it was the best food for miles around.
"I hope it's good," Esme said in a kind soft voice.
"We've arranged for you to be on a private balcony where I hear the view is spectacular," Carlisle said putting his arm around Esme. Jacob turned to me and smiled in excitement.
"Thank you so much," I said again to both Esme and Carlisle.
"Our pleasure of course," Carlisle said smiling at the Jacob and I.
"And should anything happen while the two you have a romantic lunch and some wine to get ya going, there's a little sofa up there where I'm sure you too can-"
"Emmet," Esme said in a hushed tone and a glared his way. Emmett looked at Esme and sniggered into Rose's shoulder. I too laughed just a little as I stole a glance at Edward's face of disgust.
"If anything should happen," I said looking at Emmett, "I'm sure we can get along where ever we are." Emmett returned my grin and then somewhat stole a glimpse over at Edward who had been silent ever since the conversation about the lunch had come up.
I saw Jacob's eyes light up at my easy character of us being intimate even though secretly down inside I knew that it would never happen. Edward however still remained silent. I actually felt better now that Edward was quite. I felt that I had the upper hand in the little game we were playing.
To rub it in more, when we took our seat back on the couch, I glided my hand coyly over Jacob's as I volunteered to get him some more wine. He nodded with a taken aback look on his face at the abrupt change in my personality. It must have seemed strange to him for my tense emotions to have suddenly disappeared. But I was happy that for once the conversation was going in a direction that Edward did not agree with.
I watched from the corner of my eye as Edward watched me saunter over to the table of wine and pour Jacob a glass. I felt tingles of excitement of the fact that Edward was at a loss for words as he continued to observe me walk back to Jacob. Jacob thanked me for the glass as he took a small sip.
"You're welcome," I said leaning over and planting a tiny kiss on his cheek. This seemed to take Jacob by surprise even more as he looked at me and then turned to glance at Edward. Jacob had a strange look of a troubled emotion on his face as if he knew that he was being used as a pond to get to Edward. Even though I didn't recognize all of Jacob's looks I certainly recognized all of Edward's. And when I looked at Edward, he was smiling from ear to ear.
He had a mysterious gleam in his eyes sent shivers down my spin and throughout my body. I knew now that Edward was pleased that I was playing his little game by using Jacob as a pond. Of Course Jacob was not thrilled but that only made Edward all the happier. Perhaps Edward had seen a glimpse of what Jacob was thinking. I could only imagine the envious thoughts that might be going through his mind. Which in turn would only again increase the joy of Edward's cruel little game. Edward turned his attention from Jacob to the meaningless conversations going on about our up coming wedding. For a moment I wondered if Jacob knew that I still had slight feelings for Edward. Is that what Edward was smiling about? Did Edward sense the feelings that I was trying so hard to fight and hide?
I was defiantly acting differently than I normally did around Jacob, but I didn't want to make it too noticeable. Perhaps it was too late for that. My eyes met Edward's as my mind was pondering over these things and for a brief moment his eyes beamed with a shine of enjoyment. As if he saw right through my attempts to push down my feelings for him.
I quickly turned away in slight embarrassment and then volunteered to take the empty wine glasses to the kitchen. In the instant that I stood up Edward too quickly stood up and volunteered to help. His eyes still held a mischievous gleam in his eyes as he trailed behind me to the kitchen while holding the rest of the empty wine glasses I could not manage to get on my own.
Jacob seemed disturbed, when I left, at the idea of Edward following me to the kitchen, but he seemed to let it go for the moment as we disappeared too quickly away from sight.
Once we were out of vision I found myself treading heavily to the kitchen in irritation with him behind me. I set the delicate glasses on the counter and whirled around in fury as I addressed Edward.
"What do you think your doing?" I said my eyes full of annoyance. Edward reached around me to set his set of glasses on the counter and smiled down at me.
"I'm helping bring in the dirty wine glasses." I rolled my eyes with an aggravated sigh.
"Don't think I don't see through your little game Edward." Edward shook his head naively.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Bella."
"Don't play innocent with me. You know precisely what I'm talking about," I said poking my finger into his hard solid chest. Edward glanced down at where my finger was and let out a soft infuriatingly carefree chuckle.
"If there was a little game Bella, you certainly can't get on my case about playing it since you too had a part in it as well."
I put my head down in frustration while quickly snatching up one of the glasses on the counter and rinsing the remains of wine out.
Edward snatched a lose towel from the counter and took the wet glass to dry it.
"Are we embarrassed Bella? You shouldn't be. You and I were meant to do this for all eternity. That's nothing to be ashamed of. In fact I'm quit happy you decided to participate with me. Poor little Jacob was so dejected when he saw that he was only being used as a stepping stone between our quarrel of love."
I swung my body around and stared angrily into his eyes. "Jacob loves me. And I love him. In fact he might even love me more than you ever did if you would let him."
Edward let out a short mocking laugh. "Oh, my dear sweet Bella, that's not possible. And the only reason I can say that is because I know for a fact that for every thought you might spend on Jacob you spend a thousand on me." Edward then leaned in close to my face with a tense stare, "and if I thought it were otherwise two words would seal my fate, death and hell."
I let my eyes wonder away from his powerful stare as he stood deathly close to me. "Although," he said in a sarcastically nice tone. "I'm sure Jacob will make you very happy. Not to mention all the expensive places he'll take you to eat." Edward tip in close to my ear and smiled as he whispered, "I know those are your favorite places to eat. I'm sure you can't wait to be intimately alone with him. I sure hope he's a better lover than me."
"You just can't stand the fact that I've found someone who loves me and can give me more than you ever could."
"Perhaps," Edward said twirling a curl of my hair around his fingers. "However I never recall you complaining about anything I gave to you or asking me to stop when we were intimate."
I slapped his hand down and backed away from him. "I'm getting married Edward. I love Jacob."
"I'm sure because the two of you looked so in love in there sitting on the couch together," he said in another sarcastic tone. Edward walked towards me once more smiling while he closed the gap between us, "which is why I'm so happy for you." I backed nervously away from him again until my back hit the front of the counter top.
Edward approached the rest of the way and stood in front of me smiling down at me. "Everybody can see how in love the two of you are, just as Astrid and I are." My face scrunched in distaste at the mention of her name. Edward's velvet chuckled tickled the hairs on my ear as he leaned further into me. "She is gorgeous is she not?"
"I guess you like that type," I said in a feisty tone. "She seems like your type. Gorgeous, yet cold hearted and incapable of truly loving someone."
I saw his eye twitch just a little as he tightened his lips a to keep from saying what he first intended to say. Instead I saw his anger melt away as he composed himself and then smirked somewhat.
"You love Jacob do you?"
"Yes, I do. Why do you ask?" He laughed little harder.
"Well I was just wondering if you wouldn't mind helping me settle a little riddle that's been bothering me. Bella, I can't seem to figure out why you still," I shuttered a slightly at the closeness of his lips to mine and then struggled with all my might to keep from kissing his lips that were inches away, "you still shutter at my closeness."
His breath blew across my lips causing me to close my eyes in determination not to let my feelings get too out of control. I could feel his body getting closer and closer, until I put my hands up to his chest. When I opened my eyes I found myself staring into his golden glazed eyes which were as memorizing as I remembered them to be.
"If you are truly in love as you say then would I still be able to do this?" In a instant I felt Edward's lips crush against mine. My hands pushed against his chest but not as hard as I could have. I felt my body losing control of my emotions as his lips clung to mine. My body seemed to melt into his arms as he held me close to his body.
And then just as quickly as it started, Edward ended the kiss by pulling away slowly. Bewildered for the moment, my eyes shut as Edward ran his fingers through my hair.
He leaned his head on mine and with a soft whisper said, "How is it that you so easily fall into my arms if you are, as you say, in love with another." He put his hand under chin and lifted it slightly, "Just think, soon you'll be Mrs. Black. Isabella Black. Doesn't that just roll off the tongue? And then I'll never be able to hold you in my arms again. I know you hate it when I touch you." His breath tickled my neck as he kissed it, "and when I kiss you," he said kissing the other side of my neck.
My heart was thrashing in my chest as Edward's lips touched mine again in a passionate kiss. This time the kiss was a lot quicker as he pulled away.
In a stunned frame of mind my lips still hung open from the kiss while Edward stared at me in amusement. "Can your dear Jacob love you in way that makes you want to plunge yourself into the depth of darkness for just one kiss? One compassionate touch?" After a moment I regained my composure and then looked at Edward.
"If you love me, as you say," I said in a shaky low rasped voice, "you will never to that again." Edward chuckled at this and then smiled at me.
"I will always love you Bella. But I do promise you that I will never kiss you again unless you ask me to."
"Which I won't," I replied quickly to him.
"Time will tell," he said resting his chin on top of my down casted head. He pulled his hand through my hair, "now let us go back out there and put on a fake happy face for you're so called 'lover', for fear he will think the game is over before it has really begun. After all, I am a firm believer that every relationship can be strengthened with a little obstacle. An obstacle that I intend to overcome. I want him to think he has a chance before I crush all hope of him ever becoming your lover."
"I will not let you destroy my love with Jacob the way you so quickly destroyed ours."
"There is no need for me to destroy something that does not exist. As for our love, I believe it is still very much alive. Otherwise why would you be fighting my very touch with every fiber in your body?"
"You miss understand my reasons for fighting your touch. You would rather think it is because of my deep love for you rather than my disgust."
"Disgust?" He laughed again, "oh Bella, you try to hide behind harsh words. But you forget that I know you much better than that." Edward pulled me close to him and hugged me tightly. "But I think this is a conversation is better left for another time. Jacob is no doubt racked with worry as he is on his way to us as we speak."
I pulled away from him by slipping beneath his arms and out of the kitchen. My heart was still pounding with exhilaration from his passionate kiss. That is twice today that Edward has caught me alone and made me fall in love with him. I felt my mind spinning with guilt as I met Jacob in the hallway. With a look of relief Jacob pulled me into his arms and held me close to his warm body.
Only at this moment of me being in his steady arms did I notice that my body was shaking.
"What happened in there Bella? You're trembling." I ran my fingers nervously through my hair as I stuttered out,"n-nothing, just taking care of some of the dirty dishes."
"I saw Edward go in with you. Did something happen? It was Edward wasn't it! That bastard! He just doesn't know when to quit does he!" Jacob looked ready to approach Edward who was probably still in the kitchen listening with joy. But I was sure if Jacob approached Edward he would like nothing more then to tear Jacob apart in the claim of self defense. Especially if it was a fight of over me. But instead I quickly grabbed his arm.
"No, no, it's not Edward. I'm just a little worried about the wedding." Jacob looked deep into my eyes searching for something unknown to me. My guess was that Jacob secretly knew that it wasn't the wedding that was bothering me but he seemed to let me get away with the poor excuse for the moment. In fact I was almost positive that Jacob knew it was Edward, but he thankfully let it go.
"You're worried about planning it?" Jacob put his hand on my arms and rubbed them soothingly. "If you want we can take it slow. I don't mind. It should be a perfect night, not a rushed night."
I looked at the ground for awhile pondering what he was saying in his attempt to comfort me. Then without thinking I looked up into his dark eyes, smiled slightly, and then asked, "Why do you want to marry Jacob?" This seemed to take him completely by surprise as he looked taken aback by the question. I could tell he didn't like the question. He blinked a couple times in doubt of my commitment to him and then smiled at me.
"I want to marry you Bella, because I love you of course. Everybody has that one person for them in their life. For me it was you. Bella, I have loved you since the first moment I laid eyes on you. It has always been you."
I looked into his sincere eyes and smiled again, "Jacob, do you really think that there is one person for everybody? And no matter what, that one person will always be the one you'll love forever?"
"Yes," Jacob said again looking for something in my eyes. I smiled and then kissed him lightly on the lips, although it was not nearly as satisfying as kissing Edward. I didn't want Jacob to think that I didn't want to go through with the wedding, so slipped my hands in his and wrapped them around my waist.
"I think we should get out of here," I whispered in his ear. Jacob smiled a little with a grin.
"Well," he leaned in close to me, "it is almost lunch time. Maybe we should go eat a little romantic lunch at the Italian Shrimp House and then if it should turn into anything else after that," he said leaning in for a kiss. I welcomed his kiss with a nervous laugh, but from the corner of my eye I caught the shadow of Edward.
As I kissed Jacob I could see Edward over his shoulder looking at me with such enjoyment it disturbed me. Edward had an amused evil grin stretched across his face as I struggled not to pull away from Jacob's passionate kiss. I wanted to scream at Edward to go way, but I knew he would never leave.
When Jacob sensed that I was no longer into the kiss, he pulled away in slight disappointment. "I'm sorry," I said again biting my lip in embarrassment. I watched as Edward smiled deviously at my unwillingness to kiss Jacob as passionately as I kissed him. I looked at Jacob and then put my head down.
"It's ok," he said. "I know you have a lot on your mind." Yeah, as a matter of fact I did. With Edward's reappearance in my life, I had a lot to think about. I looked up again passed Jacob's shoulders but Edward was already gone. Yet despite that, I could still feel his shadow upon me. He was never gone; he was never going to let me go.
And I'm not sure I wanted him to.
Saying of the day: Life isn't worth living for, unless you have something worth dying for.