Chapter:Wide open spaces.
'The only way to have a friend is to be one.'
-Unknown
When Rebecca trodded down the road on Sadie, her eyes widened when she saw Joel standing on the porch unattended. He's only been home a week and he was already wanting to do shit. He was leaning against the railing, his arms crossed as he watched Tommy and his men fix one of the fences on the property. She could tell by the look on his face he was itching to help.
It was a warm day. It was April and the snow cleared, making way for Spring flowers. It was warm this morning. The air crisp and the wind tickling her skin. This would be the first time in years she would be able to enjoy Spring. It always was her favorite season.
She hopped off her horse and tied her to the post. She walked over to the house and stood at the bottom of the steps, looking up at him with her hands on her hips,'Did you walk out here yourself?'
He rolled his eyes and sighed,'No, mother hen. Tommy helped me.' He nodded at the guys out in the field,'That fence isn't gonna be sturdy enough for a small gust of wind let alone an animal. He was always shit when it came to wiring fences.'
She remembered him telling her they used to have a contracting business together. Much like her father. She was surprised to learn Tommy had been the troublemaker at one point. He was the one getting arrested and in bar fights while Joel was working his ass off, trying to provide a good life for him and his daughter. Joel's always been a good man. The things he did were wrong, but he always had good intentions.
'I'm sure you'll fix it once you're better.' She walked up the stairs and gently clapped her hands,'Sit down.' She rolled her eyes and sighed,'I feel like I have to strap you down just to get you to sit.'
He sighed as she gently pushed him down onto the chair,'I'm going to check your medicine and make sure you've been taking it.'
He looked back at her as she walked into the house. He crossed his arms over his chest as she went to check on him. Ellie was at school, leaving him alone. He didn't mind being along though, knowing she would come back. She always came back.
Things have been…easier between them. Ever since they opened up to one another there seemed to be an understanding between them that wasn't there before. They could talk to each other without getting angry. She didn't get on his nerves as much as she used to. She never really did if he was being honest with himself.
Rebecca was in the kitchen making some tea for Joel when Tommy walked into the kitchen. She looked up at him, giving him a small smile,'Good morning.'
'Mornin.' He nodded up at her. He watched as she prepared Joel's medicine,'Are you settling in nicely? Maria is happy to have a friend. I'm glad Joel has one too. He likes you. He doesn't like anyone.'
'I wouldn't go that far.' She laughed softly,'He is a friend though.'
Tommy nodded again as he ran a hand through his hair,'I want to thank you for helping him.' He sighed,'He wouldn't have made it if it weren't for you.'
Rebecca laughed and shook her head,'I think you're underestimating your brother. It was Ellie who found me though.' His eyes widened as she nodded,'You should be thanking her. Not me.'
Tommy just stared at her with an unreadable look on his face. She knew he resented Ellie and Joel for not letting the Fireflies take her, but he would never say anything. Joel would leave with Ellie and he would never see him again. He spent too many years wondering where his brother had been. He refused to do that ever again.
'I should head out and help the guys.'
She nodded as she grinned,'Make sure you're tightening those fences up. You're gonna give your brother another heart attack.'
He let out a booming laugh and shook his head. Some things never change.
She walked out of the kitchen with him and out onto the porch. Joel was talking to one of Tommy's guys, giving him pointers as he drew a diagram on a piece of paper. She smiled as the guy intently listened. He obviously was taken everything he said seriously. Joel knew what he was doing. She hoped when he recovered he would be able to start doing things he enjoyed rather than what he needed to do for ration tickets.
Rebecca let him do his thing as she went to check on Dusty. She was thankful Ellie was taking care of her. Dusty was one of her best friends. They've been with each other through thick and thin.
She patted Dusty's head and kissed the top of her nose, whispering,'You're happy here, huh?' She laughed as the horse neighed and nuzzled against her,'I know, girlfriend. Me too.'
She led her out of the barn to stretch her legs, walking around the property with her. She liked doing this sometimes. She enjoyed watching the repairs, slowly bringing life back into the place. It felt good to walk around leisurely. There wasn't any infected this far out, but she knew dangers still lurked under the surface. She heard the whispers. Not everyone was happy they were here. They didn't trust outsiders, but they respected Tommy. They would be safe here.
The guys went back to work, leaving Joel on the porch by himself. He watched her as she walked around with Dusty. She's been coming here for almost two weeks. She came twice a day without fail, just as she was instructed to do. Sometimes she would sit with him on the porch. They would talk sometimes, but mostly they sat in silence, enjoying the peace and quiet. He liked the fact she wasn't chatty. As much as he loved Ellie, she was a chatterbox at times.
Rebecca gave him grace and space to be alone with his thoughts. Almost all of the women that came into his life always expected him to feel something. She never asked him to feel anything. All she wanted was his friendship.
Her eyes met his as she walked up the trail. She smiled brightly and he felt that twisting in his chest again whenever she looked at him like that. He's never felt that before. He told himself it was because of the heart attack, but he was always a very good liar. Especially to himself.
She placed Dusty back in the barn and went back onto the porch to check on him,'Do you need me to help you back into the house before I leave?'
'No.' He shook his head,'I would like to sit out here for a bit more.'
She nodded as she leaned down, fixing the back of his shirt without thinking,'I'll be back later.'
He looked up at her and frowned,'You don't have to keep coming back here, ya know. Sharon can think what she wants.'
'I know.' She shook her head and sighed,'I wouldn't feel right about lying to her though. Did you ever think I like coming here?'
He didn't need to ask why. Her horses and Ellie were here.
She looked out onto the property wistfully,'It's beautiful here, Joel. This is everything you've ever wanted.' She averted her attention back to him,'You're pretty good company yourself too.' He rolled his eyes and she sighed,'I like sitting here with you and listening to you play guitar. It…calms the thoughts down in my head.'
He nodded as he looked over her face,'You still not sleeping well?'
'I'm getting a few hours a night. Sharon's been helping me through things. She isn't a psych doctor, but she's the closest thing to it. Talking about it helps a lot.'
He didn't know why it bothered him she talk about the things that plagued her. Maybe she didn't feel comfortable talking to him about certain things. She's been through trauma. He wasn't stupid. He knew what those fuckers at the hospital did to her. David and his maniac cult did far worse. She had been brainwashed and controlled. It would take a lot of time for her to deal with all of that.
He nodded as he took a sip of his tea,'You ever think about boxing?'
'That's never been an aspiration of mine.' She laughed,'Did you used to be a boxer?'
'No.' He smirked,'Just a fighter, but I think it might help you. It'll let aggression out and helps you sleep.' He shrugged,'I…I used to do it a lot after Sarah died. It helped me. It might help you.'
'I'll keep that in mind. Maybe you can teach me.' She nodded,'You seem to be getter better and better everyday. You don't even need me anymore.'
Joel ran a hand through his hair, reminding her of his brother in that moment,'How else would I take my medicine?'
She bit back a smirk as she patted his shoulder,'You know Ellie would shove them down your throat. I gotta get going. I'll see you tonight.' She pointed at him sternly, her blue eyes glaring at him in warning,'If you want to go and lay back down. You get Tommy. Understand?'
He gave her a sly grin and nodded,'I understand.'
She gave him a goodbye and went on her way. He watched her as she rode down the trail with Sadie. In two weeks she wouldn't be coming here all the time. The only time he would ever see her would be for Ellie. Not him.
It was for the best. She needed to move on from him. She was trying to get better. He would only make her mental health even worse.
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It was almost seven in the evening when she got back to the house. She walked in without knocking, smiling when she saw Joel sitting at the kitchen table with Ellie. He looked to be helping her with homework. Regardless of what he thought about himself, he was a good father. She's learned throughout the years blood doesn't mean anything. It's the connection you make with people that matter most of all.
Ellie looked up from her homework and smiled at her,'Did you get it?'
Rebecca nodded and smiled,'I sure did.'
She opened up her bag and handed the book over to her. Ellie smiled gleefully as she stared down at the book of puns. Volume three to be exact. She had the entire set.
Joel's eyes scanned over the book and he rolled his eyes,'Fucking great.' He looked up at Rebecca, nodding at her curtly,'How are you?'
'Good.' She walked over to him and he leaned back in his chair, giving her space to check him over. He's learned to just let her do her job. He's still given shit about making Evelyn cry.
Ellie averted her eyes between them, smiling to herself. She was glad to see they were getting along. She really liked Becca. She could talk to her about things she couldn't with Joel. Womanly things. She never really thought about having friends after Riley died, but if there's one thing she's learned it's that she can't do it on her own. She didn't want to anymore.
She took a tin of cookies out of her bag, placing them on the table between them,'Betsy made them for you. She told me to tell you she hopes you feel better. Women either love you or hate you don't they?'
He laughed softly and shook his head,'There's never been an in between.'
Ellie stared at Joel, surprised by the way he spoke with Rebecca. It was different from the cold countenance he displayed towards her before. She knew they spent a lot of time together when she was at school. Joel told her she was just doing her job, but she knew better. Other than Tommy no one visited him. People in town were afraid of him and didn't trust him. They wondered what kind of man didn't stick close to his brother. They resented him for not letting Ellie be the cure. He told her not to worry about it, but she did.
Every time she walked into she wondered if someone was working with the Fireflies to bring her back. Sure, she was making friends and adjusting to life in Jackson, but she always looked over her shoulder. She would for the rest of her life.
Rebecca looked down at the homework sprawled out on the table,'Calculus, huh?' She snorted,'When are you even gonna use this shit? It was useless before the outbreak. What do they expect you to do? Beat an infected with your Math knowledge?'
Joel smiled at that. Her personality was starting to show through. She was probably a good time before the outbreak. There was no doubt in his mind he would've been all over her. She would've been someone he would've wanted to get to know. She wouldn't have been a one night stand. He would have to work for it.
He was an old man now though. The days of chasing skirts were behind him. He didn't think he had it in him anymore. Women and relationships were too much effort.
Rebecca leaned over Ellie's shoulder to inspect her homework,'You forgot to carry over the one. Once you do that you'll get the root number.'
Ellie did what she was told and shook her head,'Fuck, I knew it.' She glared up at Joel,'I told you we needed to carry the one.'
He rolled his eyes and sighed,'I'm in my fucking fifties, El. Do you really think we had this shit back then? All we had was long division. I skipped math class anyway. It was always first thing in the morning and I hated that shit.' He looked up at the clock and snapped his fingers,'It's time for bed.'
Ellie frowned as she looked up at Rebecca, hoping she would save her.
Rebecca shook her head and smirked,'You better get to bed. There looks like a storm outside.'
She knew Ellie loved thunderstorms. She would probably be up in her room all night watching it.
Ellie reluctantly gathered her homework, putting it in her bookbag. She said her good nights and headed up to bed.
The silence in the kitchen was deafening. The loud booming thunder cracked in the sky. The sound startled her. She was jumpy tonight. It was the usual busy at work, but they had a causality. A nineteen year old man came back into town from a hunting trip. He had taken a nasty fall, breaking so many bones she didn't know what to set first. They did all they could to save them. It was always the most difficult part of her job. Death didn't bother her anymore. It was the people left behind who suffered the most.
'Let's sit outside.' She nodded,'You need some fresh air.'
She took his arm, helping him get up from the table. He was slowly gaining his mobility back. The color of his skin was becoming healthier looking. He seemed more at ease, like a heavy burden had been lifted.
She helped him out onto the porch. He sat in his usual spot while she took a seat on the bench. The thunder and lightening were getting closer. The rain was just a matter of time.
She looked over at him as he took his flask out of his pocket, taking a sip. She sighed in annoyance, but didn't say anything. She's learned to pick her battles with him.
He glanced over at her, seeing the melancholy look on her face,'You doing okay?'
'I lost a patient today. He was only a kid. Nineteen.' She shook her head,'I did everything I could, but his father said I should've done more.'
Joel felt the anger rising up within him. He understood why a parent would want to blame someone for losing a child tragically. His anger was misdirected.
'You shouldn't blame yourself.' He nodded as he handed the flask over to her, letting her take a sip,'The kid was probably gonna die even before you got to him.'
She smiled at his words, grateful for them. He put things into perspective for her sometimes. He didn't tell her what she wanted to hear. He always gave her the blunt truth. She respected him for that.
'I'm done next week.' She took another sip from the flask, wincing as the whiskey burned her throat,'I won't be a pain in the ass anymore.'
He looked over at her as she handed him back the flask,'You…can still come over.' He shrugged,'Ellie wouldn't let me hear the end of it.' He cleared his throat, looking out on his land as it started to rain,'Your Spanish's still shit.'
She laughed at that. He's been trying to teach her Spanish for the last two weeks, but she wasn't getting it. She's never head an ear for languages. The only reason she got through Italian is google translate.
'Maybe you're just not a good teacher.' She grinned,'Is this your way of telling me we're friends?'
'Don't push it.' He returned her grin,'You seem to be the only person in this town other than Tommy who can stand the sight of me.'
His words made her sad and angry. She didn't understand why the townsfolk were weary of him. He was just trying to survive like everyone else. He acted as if he didn't care what people thought about him, but he did. He had feelings just like everyone else.
'Who gives a shit what everybody else lee thinks?' She shrugged,'You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. You'll be an asset to this town. They just don't know it yet.
He smiled. She has faith in people. He envied the fact she could still have faith after all these years.
The rain was pouring down in buckets, the thunder and lightening illuminating the sky. He watched her as she stared at the rain coming down. Everything in him told him to leave her alone, but she had every opportunity to walk away, but she didn't.
Two months ago he saw her as nothing more than an inconvenience. A nuisance they didn't need. Now she's become his friend.
He was tired of fighting her anymore. She slowly creeped into his life and there was no getting away from it.