Chapter 11: Guns are more reliable than friends.

'Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own definite. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over.'

-Octavia Butler

It was about four in the morning when she walked into their house. She did as she always had. She went over to the couch and laid down. She took the blanket off the couch, draping it over herself.

She had another nightmare. It wasn't as intense as they usually are, but it was enough to jolt her awake, making her feel like the walls were caving in on her. She slept much better when she was here. She didn't like to think about what that meant. It scared her too much.

She heard heavy footsteps creaking against the hardwood. She sat up to see Joel walking into the kitchen. He glanced over at her, his eyes widening when he saw her sitting there wide awake. He usually heard her coming in, but he didn't this morning. He was probably going deaf in his old age.

'Mornin.' He said gruffly as he put the pot on the stove,'I figured you would be sleeping.'

'I just got here.' She shook her head and sighed,'I think it'll be my last time doing this though. I…I can't burden you with what I got going on in my head. You and Ellie have your own shit to worry about.'

He knew this was coming. Honestly, he expected it sooner. He would be lying if he said he didn't like the company. Her Ellie, Tommy and Maria were the only ones who really trusted him. Everyone else tolerated him out of fear. Good. They should fear him. He wasn't a good man. Not good enough to deserve any of this.

'There's a bed upstairs.' He kept his back facing her as he took the pot off the stove,'Does it help you sleep? Staying here?'

'Yes.' She couldn't lie to him. He would see right through it anyway,'I wouldn't stay all night.'

'Good.' He nodded,'I wouldn't want that anyway.'

She wasn't hurt by his blunt words. It was his way of being nice without trying to be. She was grateful he gave her the agency to make her own decisions.

He poured the coffee into two mugs and brought them into the kitchen, handing one over to her. She looked up at him, smiling gratefully.

'I'm gonna go sit on the porch.' He gave her a curt nod,'Get some sleep if you can. You're a nurse. You sleep on the job Sharon will have your ass.'

'I don't doubt it.' She laughed,'You should thank her. She saved your life. Tommy told me she reached into your chest and squeezed your heart to get it beating again. I think that at least deserves a thank you. When you're feeling up to it, you should go into town. The only reason why they don't bother you is because they're afraid of you.'

'Good.' He crossed his arms over his chest,'I like it that way.'

He walked out of the living room and she heard the door close. She leaned back against the couch and sighed. He seemed to be in a grumpy mood today. Well, more so than usual. Something was bothering him. She thought about asking him herself, but she didn't think he was in the kind of mood to be talking to anyone.

She got up from the couch and walked upstairs, heading to the room he said she could get some sleep in. She felt weird invading his personal space, but he was right. She needed sleep if she wanted to focus on her job.

She frowned when she saw Ellie standing in the hallway, wiping sleep from her eyes. She blinked her eyes blearily up at Rebecca,'It's not you. It's…Sarah's birthday today. He told me last night. I've been…giving him space. I don't think he wants to talk to anyone right now.

She nodded silently. Sarah. He was still grieving his dead daughter. She understood his pain. She just wished he didn't have to go through it alone. People deal with grief in different ways. Joel becomes silent and withdrawn. She goes crazy and runs out in the snow wearing pajamas.

Rebecca nodded her head towards the room down the hall,'Come on. Let's have a little slumber party before I have to go to work in a few hours.'

Ellie smirked as she followed Rebecca in the spare bedroom. There was only a bed and a rickety bureau that's seen better days. The queen sized bed was old, but the sheets and blankets looked fresh. Did he do this for her?'

Ellie looked around and frowned,'I did what I could, but I got Tommy to put a bed in here.'

Rebecca nodded silently. She was stupid to think Joel had anything to do with this. Just because he was her friend didn't mean he was obligated to do things for her. Whenever she thought their friendship was solid, he went and did something to make her doubt everything he's ever said to her.

'Thank you.' She gave Ellie a small smile,'For everything.'

Ellie shrugged sheepishly as she shifted nervously on her feet,'He has this watch he always wears. It's broken though.'

'Yeah.' She nodded,'I saw that.'

Ellie sighed and shook her head,'I was thinking of fixing it for him. He told me Sarah did that for him the…day everything happened. It was on the night she died. I figured I could fix it. As a thank you for everything he's done for me.'

'That's really nice of you.' Rebecca walked over to the bed and pulled down the sheets,'Come see me at the hospital on my lunch break. Sharon said her husband used to be an electrical engineer. I'm sure he could fix it.'

Ellie's widened and she smiled,'Fucking awesome. I just have to find a way of getting it without him knowing. He never takes the damn thing off. He only takes it off when he gets a shower.' She chewed her bottom lip pensively,'He would go nuts if he thought he lost it. I don't know how to get it away from him without letting him know.'

Rebecca crossed her arms over her chest,'I'll figure it out. Just…don't take him without him knowing. We don't need him going ballistic.' She shook her head,'Please just don't take it. Everyone around here is afraid of him as it is.'

Ellie nodded as she looked up at her. She was going to take it anyway. She already had the plan formed in her head. He would be angry at first, but she knew he would be grateful once he realized what they were doing.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Rebecca had only been at work an hour when Ellie arrived at the hospital. She looked frantic, her eyes wide with fear as she ran up to Rebecca,'It's gone. I went to grab it while he was in the shower, but it was gone, Becca. He's gonna go fucking ballistic.'

Rebecca smiled softly and shook her head,'You're supposed to be in school.' She rolled her eyes,'He isn't gonna go ballistic.' She reached into her bag, handing her over a small box. She had found some old newspaper and wrapped up the box. She managed to find some twine and made a small bow. She was grateful Sharon's husband could fix it. She just hoped he appreciated the gesture.

Ellie already knew what was in the box without asking. She smirked and shook her head,'When did you snag it?'

'I was a couple minutes ahead of you. He was taking a shower as I was leaving. I grabbed it and made a break for it.' She sighed,'You should probably give it back to him before he starts going off.'

Joel stepped out of the shower, grunting as he reached for the towel. His body was aching and tense. It's been difficult to be active like he used to. It took him a bit longer than usual to do things. He hated feeling useless.

He wrapped the towel around his waist and looked up in the mirror at himself. He braced his hands against the sink, shaking his head in disgust. He didn't even recognize himself. His hair and beard were becoming grayer. His could see the gray hair at his temples. His beard was balding in spots. Most likely due to stress. His body wasn't strong and capable like it used to be.

He tore his eyes away from the mirror and walked out of the bathroom. Ellie had left for school a little bit ago, leaving him the only one in the house. He was thankful to have this time alone. He needed it. He always mourned Sarah's birthday. It's why he kept the watch. It was the last thing she had ever given him.

He walked past Ellie's room and stopped in front of the guest bedroom where Rebecca had been only a few hours prior. The bed was neatly made. He didn't like the idea of he's staying here. He didn't like knowing her room was next to his. It was too close for comfort. It was easier for him when she slept on the couch. He could compartmentalize things in his head. She didn't belong in this house. Especially not with him. He would only get her killed. The only reason why Ellie survived is because of Rebecca. The shame he felt for not getting the job done will haunt him for the rest of his life.

He leaned into the doorway and slammed the door shut, not wanting to look at it anymore. He went into his bedroom. He went to his bureau to put on his watch. Ir didn't feel right without it on. There were tan lines around his wrist. He could still see the shy smile on Sarah's face when she gave him the watch. He had been so happy back then. They didn't have much money, but they took care of each other.

Ever since his ex wife abandoned them, it had always been the two of them. Well three if you count Tommy. He used to be more of a freeloader than anything, eating their food and drinking his beer. Oh how the tables have turned.

His eyes widened when he realized his watch wasn't there. He looked all over the bureau. He couldn't find it anywhere. He ransacked his bedroom, tearing off the sheets and comforter, trying desperately to find it. Maybe it fell somewhere. He hoped to God it fell somewhere. He couldn't lose it. It's the only thing he had left of her.

He ignored the pain in his incision, gritting his teeth as he slowly pulled the bureau away from the wall. He kneeled down onto the floor to look, but it wasn't there.

'No no no.' He whispered to himself. His chest felt tight, like it did when he had a heart attack. He knew it wasn't another one. This was the kind of pain surgery couldn't fix.

He pulled himself up from the floor and went into Ellie's room. He tore it apart, thinking she may have taken it as a joke. He would be upset with her, but at least it wouldn't be gone. It couldn't be gone.

Tears filled his eyes when he realized it wasn't in Ellie's room. He checked the entire house before realizing it wasn't there.

Joel kicked the chair onto the kitchen floor, pulling at his hair as tears filled his eyes. It was gone. The last shred of her was gone. It was the only tangible thing he had left of her. The only thing that proved to him she had been real. The memories are still there, but the older he got the distant they became.

He stared hard at the empty couch, his mind going into overdrive as rage flared up within him. Ellie didn't do this. He knew exactly who had taken it. What did she have to gain by doing that? He thought she was a good person, but she's proven to be like everyone else. She didn't care about him or Ellie. This was nothing more than a game to her. She was mentally unstable. He shouldn't have brought her here.

Rage blinded and fueled him as he grabbed his rifle from the porch. He went into the barn and saddled Dusty. As soon as he was finished with the horse he would shoot it dead right in front of her. Right along with Sadie. She would learn not to take things from people. He wanted to watch the sadness in her eyes as he shot her beloved horses. He should've left her to die in Silver Lake. He shouldn't have trusted her, but his mama had been right. He's always been a sucker for a pretty face.

Rebecca was walking out of the hospital with Ellie. She was escorting her to school and then she would bring the watch back to Joel. His hair was wild and he looked like he threw whatever clothes on his could find. His boots weren't even tied. He was in a rush to get here. He looked like a man on a mission.

He probably realized it was missing. She didn't want him be consumed with that agonizing fear of never seeing the last thing he had left of his daughter. Even if it was only an hour. He was probably found crazy. She felt guilty for taking it, but he's done so much for her. It's the least she could do for him.

Her eyes widened when she saw him charging into town on Dusty. She saw the rifle in his hand. His eyes were staring her down. If looks could kill she would be six feet under by now. The murderous rage in his eyes reminded her of how he was at the hospital. He was on autopilot, letting his anger drive him.

She didn't even need to ask him why he was angry. She looked down at Ellie, who was looking at him with indifference. The teenage girl wasn't afraid of him. She expected him to be angry too. In fact, Ellie looked a bit…smug.

Joel was right. She could be a little shit sometimes.

He hopped off the horse, not even feeling the pain anymore. Rebecca shook her head and sighed,'You shouldn't be riding. You're not healed yet.'

'Where the fuck is it?' His usually gruff voice was even deeper. She could hear his voice cracking with emotion. She saw the unshed tears in his eyes and immediately regretted what she had done.

She fucked up.

She didn't answer at first as she saw him cock his rifle. He meant to kill her. Shoot her dead in the middle of town. They would hang him for this. For some weird reason she was more concerned about him than her current situation. She wasn't afraid of men pointing guns at her anymore. She refused to let another man have that kind of power over her. Not anymore. She was hurt it was him. After so many times of almost dying, this is how it ends. At least she had three months of living normally again.

Ellie rolled her eyes and shoved the box in his face,'It was my idea, Joel.' She sighed,'I was the one who told her about it this morning.'

Joel wasn't even shocked by that. Rebecca and Ellie had become close. It was no wonder they were in cahoots together. He didn't blame Ellie though. She was a child. Rebecca was a grown woman who should know better.

'Ellie told me about it, but I took it.' She let his gaze directly, wanting him to know she wasn't lying,'I took it off your bureau when you were in the shower. I asked Sharon's husband to fix it for you. For Sarah's birthday.'

Her response seemed to make him angrier. He ripped opened the box and saw the watch inside. He felt the relief wash over him, but he was still angry they went behind his back. He didn't want this.

'You ruined it.' He seethed at her with rage a a as he pointed the rifle at her,'Who the hell do you think you are? You think you can just fucking come into my house and do whatever you want to?'

His voice was eerily calm as he kept the gun on her. He seemed to be waiting for an answer, but she didn't have one to give him.

'No.' She shook her head,'I was wrong. I shouldn't have done that. You're absolutely right.'

Ellie tried to stand in between them, but Maria gently grabbed her arm, pulling her back. Maria shook her head, giving her a small smile,'You shouldn't be seeing this. You should be in school.'

Ellie had to laugh at that. She's seen crazier shit happen. This was nothing. It also wasn't the first time Joel had a gun pointed at Rebecca, but she would keep that information to herself.

'He's not gonna do it.' Ellie shook her head,'He's not gonna kill her. He…likes her.' She wiggled her eyebrows,'That way. He would rather die than admit it.'

Or kill her Maria thought to herself.

Tommy managed to wedge himself in between them. The townsfolk were watching them with rapt interest. This was going to be gossip for the next year. That's if they survived to see it.

Tommy tried to take the rifle from him, but even in his fragile state he was so much stronger than him.

'What's going on?' Tommy's voice was soothing as he averted his eyes back and forth between Rebecca and Joel.

'She stole my watch.' Joel's eyes stared hard at her,'She had it fixed.'

'And you wanted to kill her for that?' Tommy raised his eyebrows curiously,'I'm glad she didn't make you cookies or something. She would already be dead by now.

Despite the intense situation, she found herself biting back a smile. Thank God for Tommy. He was such a gem. The two brothers were polar opposites. Tommy was calmer while Joel ran wild. He led with his emotions, which always got him into trouble.

Tommy cautiously grabbed the barrel of the gun and slowly pointed it away from Rebecca. He managed to gently push his brother away from her. He watched as Maria brought Ellie towards the direction of her school. He met his wife's gaze across the crowd of people. She smiled and nodded reassuringly.

Joel wouldn't be punished. Tommy understood why he did. He was still grieving his daughter. He grieved his niece too. He thought about her every day. Ever since she died Joel changed. He became more careless and reckless . Anger and grief can make a man burn from the inside out until there's nothing left but ashes.

Dust to dust.

'I miss her too, man.' Tommy whispered, ,'I miss her everyday, but you gotta calm down. You're still recovering.'

'I'm so sorry, Joel.' Rebecca sighed shakily, never taking her eyes away from his,'I thought I could do something nice. You brought me here. I-'

'Shut the fuck up.' Joel eased his rifle down to his side, I don't ever want you near me again. I don't want you coming to my house anymore. You keep your shit to yourself. What you and Ellie do is your business, but you stay the fuck away from me. Understand?'

Rebecca took a few deep breaths to keep herself from crying. She could feel the eyes of the townspeople on her. People she's come to know. She took care of these people. She should've left things alone. They had a good friendship which mutual trust and understanding. She fucked it all up. Just like every good thing she's done in her life. She lost a very good friend today. All because she did something all friends do. She was trying to be nice to him. She learned a lesson today as well. Friends don't mean shit if they try and kill you for doing something nice for them.

'I understand.' She nodded slowly,'I…I won't come around you anymore. I promise.' She turned her attention to Tommy,'Make sure you get him home so he can rest.'

Tommy nodded as he watched Rebecca turn back to the direction of the hospital. He turned to Joel, frowning,'What the hell was that about?' He looked around seeing everyone watching them.

He grabbed the sleeve of Joel's coat and led him into the alleyway. This was a discussion they needed to have in private.

Tommy glared up at him and shook his head. He was still the same hard headed stubborn asshole he's always been. He thought Ellie calmed him down, but there wasn't any stopping him once he was angry. Joel has always been Joel. Ellie and Rebecca seemed to be the only ones who could pull any compassion from him lately.

'What's going on?' Tommy sighed,'You wanted to kill a woman. A very good friend of yours for getting your watch fixed? You know that sounds crazy right? Maria's doing damage control as we speak. You just don't have yourself to think about anymore.'

Joel put his hands on his hips and hung his head shamefully,'I don't know what the fuck is happening to me lately. I…I'm content here, but I'm restless. I feel like doing something I can't.'

'Fighting.' Tommy stated matter of fact,'You don't have to kill, rob and sniffle anymore so you're bored. You don't know what to do with your life when you aren't fighting. The fighting's over, Joel. You can rest easy.'

Joel had to laugh at that. It was easier said than done.

Tommy's eyes widened in realization as he looked at him long and hard,'What are you afraid of?'

'Everything.' He whispered admittedly,'Every fucking thing.'

Tommy nodded sadly as he tightly wrapped his arms around his brother. Joel collapsed into his arms as he sobbed into his chest. Tommy's eyes filled with tears as he let his brother cry. He's never seen him like this before. Rarely did he display moments of weakness and vulnerability. He knew a hug wouldn't make everything better, but maybe this is the wake up Joel needed to get his shit together.

It's been almost two weeks since she's been at his house. She still hung out with Ellie. She would come over to her apartment or meet her at the hospital for lunch on weekends. They didn't talk about Joel. It was something unspoken between them. She didn't expect an apology. She really didn't expect anything from him anymore. He made it clear he didn't want to be her friend anymore and she would leave it alone. She still missed him though.

She still had trouble sleeping at night. She would lay awake in bed after a nightmare, staring wide up at the ceiling until it was time to get up for work. She missed having the refuge of his home. It wasn't just his house that gave her peace. It was him. He didn't ask anything of her. He wasn't like David or Ben, who wanted to mold her into their perfect image of what a woman should be. He accepted her as she is. She fought hard for his friendship. Only for it to collapse because of her lack of judgment.

She has a rare day off and was going to enjoy it. It was a warm day, the second day of Spring. David would call warm weather as Hope Eternal. She used to be thankful not having to travel in the snow.

She walked out of her building and decided to have a ride. It was a beautiful day. She could've wait to ride just for leisure. She couldn't remember the last time she did anything out of enjoyment. She was also eager to check out the plants surrounding the area. She could finally do something for herself.

She kept Dusty in Tommy's barn. As much as she missed Sadie, she refused to take her back. Joel and Ellie would need a horse in case they had to flee.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Joel was helping Tommy and his men fix a fence along the perimeter of a building in town. He figured if he was going to live here he needed a job. He joined Tommy's construction crew, getting the band back together so to speak. It made his younger brother essentially his boss. It mattered none. Tommy still couldn't mend a fence to save his life.

He was getting better and better every day. He could walk without getting dizzy or lightheaded. His body was slowly starting to piece itself back together. He was getting stronger. His mind was still in pieces though.

He thought about Rebecca, mentally cursing himself for even thinking about her. He had to admit, he felt guilty for what he did. He almost killed her because of his rage. Tommy was right. He needed to stop fighting against good things. He needed to learn how to become normal again.

Tommy saw Rebecca walking through town. He grinned when he saw Joel's eyes glancing over at her. He didn't keep his eyes on her for too long though, but he could see it. The longing of wanting something you could never have. The resignation of knowing you ruined something good in your life. He didn't think the damage done to their friendship was irreparable. The trust was certainly broken though.

'You should talk to her.' Tommy shrugged,'It might make you feel better.'

Joel glared over at him and shook his head,'Leave it alone, Tommy. Just…leave it be.' He sighed,'There ain't no use in fixing something you never wanted in the first place. '

Tommy didn't know what to say to that. His brother scared him sometimes. He chased all good things away.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

It was midnight before she finally decided to try and get some rest. She didn't know why she bothered anymore. She barely slept. She was about to go into her room when there was a knock on her door. She wondered who could be coming to her at such a late hour.

She grabbed her gun and walked over to the door, peeking through the peephole. Her eyes widened when she saw him. She wondered what he was doing here. When she saw him in town earlier he barely spared a glance at her. She would be lying if she said it didn't sting. She thought he would've at least wave after everything they've been through together.

She unlocked the door and opened it. He stood up straight when she opened the door. She gave him a small smile,'Hi.'

He swallowed harshly, determination etched into his features,'I figured you woulda screamed bloody murder at the sight of me.'

'I'm not afraid of you, Joel.' Her tone was gentle, but defiant. She wasn't lying. She never did lie. He admired that quality in her.

She sighed and opened the door wider, 'Please come in. I have neighbors. They stopped giving me the side eye and I'd like to keep it that way.'

He wondered who was giving her shit, but devised to let it go for now. He would choose his battles, but evade the issues that are actually important. Self preservation at its finest.

He didn't know why he came here. He told himself it was to apologize and be on his way. Ellie made him swore he would do it. She tanned his hide when they got back home that day. He was still hearing it.

He didn't expect to come so late. He sat on the porch, alone with himself. He couldn't set himself straight without talking to her.

He would see her around town enjoying herself. She fit in seamlessly. He never fit in anywhere. Even before the outbreak.

He wasn't naive. Before the outbreak, women like her didn't look twice at men like him. They stuck their noses out at him. They thought he was better than him. She would've never been his friend or anything else.

Now, people didn't take heed to superficial bullshit. Settling was surviving loneliness.

He took a deep breath and walked into her apartment. It was modestly decorated, but there was a bookshelf lined with books. She loved to read too. They had that in common. They would share books. She would read something and suggest it to him. He would read the book and they would talk about it. She barely taught her enough Spanish. She missed listening him play music. It was good to see him. He was looking healthier as each day went by. His skin was tanned and his cheeks were fleshed out. He kept his hair and beard trimmed. He looked…normal.

She walked into the kitchen and heated up some water did tea. She almost burned the place down using a coal stove, but she managed to figure it out. She could use it effortless now. It felt good to take care of herself again.

She looked over her shoulder, her eyes widening when she saw him standing in the kitchen. He was leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest,'You want some tea?'

'Yeah.' It's the only thing he said since she invited him inside.

She was glad to keep her hands busy. She was nervous. He made her anxious when he looked at her like that. She wasn't ready for it. She knew he wasn't either. Friendship is the only thing they could give one another.

She poured the hot water into the mugs and handed him one. She nodded over to the kitchen table, silently asking him to sit with her.

He obliged and waited for her to sit down before he took a seat across from her. She smiled at that. Southern manners never go away.

'Why did you come here tonight?' She looked over his face,'I know this isn't gonna be a tea party.'

'I'm sorry it's late…but I knew you would be up.'

She shook her head and let out a dry laugh. Of course he would know she was up. He knew her well. Even when she didn't want him to.

He twirled his finger around the brim of the cup,'I shouldn't have done that. I…know you were just trying to do a good thing.'

She looked down at his wrist, smiling softly. He was wearing it. It had the correct time. She thought he would've shattered it to pieces by now, but she knew how important it was to gone.

'I should be apologizing.' She frowned,'I never should've taken it without asking you first. I betrayed your trust and it wasn't right. You had every right to be angry with me.' She looked dead in the eyes,'I forgive you for trying to kill me. Just don't let it happen again. I'll kill you myself.

He smiled wryly, knowing she would too. He fidgeted in his seat, feeling uncomfortable. He didn't like talking about deep shit. It made him feel weak.

He took a sip of his tea and cleared his throat,'I wasn't mad about what ya did. Not really anyway. I…I wasn't in the best of moods that day to begin with. I took my anger out on you and I shouldn't have.' He shook his head, muttering something unintelligible under his breath,'It wasn't Sarah's birthday. It…it was mine.'

Her eyes widened as she kept quiet, letting him continue. He looked like he needed to get something off his chest. This is what she missed the most. The had the ability to speak freely without pity or judgment.

'She stole twenty dollars out of my drawer. I had sixty bucks in there for groceries. Work wasn't steady and I was struggling to make ends meet. We didn't have much, but we did what we could for each other.'

He's been a survivor his entire life. He never had it easy. He deserved to have the life he always wanted.

He sighed shakily as tears filled his eyes,'The watch was…my grandfather's. She knew how much it meant to me.' He smiled tearfully,'She found this old stupid Ninja movie on DVD that was one of my favorites growing up. We watched it together. She fell asleep and Tommy woke me up. He called me and said he got arrested for getting into a bar fight. It was nothing new, but when I went into the city. I knew something was wrong. All hell broke loose. Me and Tommy rushed to her. We thought we escaped, but…soldiers came after us. They started shouting. I tried to keep her safe…but I couldn't. I couldn't do that, Becca. She died in my arms and there wasn't a damn thing I could do. The watch broke at the exact time she died. I…always wore it so I could remember her.'

Tears filled her own eyes as she listened to his words. She felt the immense weight of guilt on her shoulders.

She leaned over the table and placed her hand on top of his,'I don't blame you for wanting to kill me for that.'

'I don't want you dead.' He slowly raised his eyes up at her,'Not cause of me. Not cause of anybody.'

His words shook her. In his own way, he was telling her he cared about her.

'I don't want to die. Not anymore. I don't think you want to die either.' She gently squeezed his hand,'Ellie needs you.'

'She needs you too.'

He didn't want to admit to anything else. He pushed those thoughts deep down where they belonged.

She was surprised when he gently squeezed her hand in return. He dropped it quickly, leaving her hand empty on the table. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair,'I need to get back. I can't leave Ellie alone for too long.'

She felt her heart sink to her stomach, knowing she would be left alone with her thoughts in the dark. She dreaded evenings. They were too quiet, making her thoughts even louder. She missed his music. It drowned out the noises in her head.

Rebecca nodded and smiled softly,'Okay. You should do that.'

He chewed on his bottom lip, looking as if he were mulling something over,'You can come back with me. You can get some sleep.'

The tone in his voice left no room for discussion,'Okay.' She whispered,'I…I'll go with you. I need to grab my work clothes though.'

She got up from the chair and went into her bedroom. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against his chair, sighing to himself.

Tommy was never going to let him hear the end of this.