Chapter 12: Everything happens for a reason

'Better to trust the man who is frequently in error than one who is never in doubt.'

-Eric Sevareid

It was finally Summer. Rebecca's favorite time of season. The plants and flowers were in abundance, giving her the opportunity to procure the ingredients for medication. They had a pretty good supply, but there was always room for more. There was always someone who had an ailment or were getting hurt.

Joel surprised her when he suggested she use their field field to plant whatever she wanted. Even after being friends with him for almost six months, his kindness surprised her. Not because she thought he was incapable of it. He was never the kind of man who did things on a whim for the hell of it. He even built her a fence surrounding her garden.

Ellie enjoyed spending time out in the garden with her. She would help in anyway she could. She seemed to like getting her hands dirty and digging in the dirt. Whenever she had a day off they would spend hours in the garden until the sunset. Rebecca taught her about the different herbs and plants that could be used for medicine.

The teenager seemed enraptured. She would intently listen and follow instructions. She had a knack for it. She seemed to be interested in Science. She was smarter than most people gave her credit for. They saw her as an angry kid. She saw her as a survivor.

Rebecca considered her to be a close friend. They were as thick as thieves. People in town didn't understand why a woman in her thirties was hanging out with a fourteen year old girl, but she didn't mind what others thought. She was like a little sister to her. She wouldn't call herself a mother figure, but she felt a bond with her unlike any other person she's met before.

Joel was repairing one of the fences by the barn. Tommy and his men made an effort, but the wiring was weak. It wouldn't make a year. Not with the kind of raging thunderstorms Wyoming got.

He was thankful to be on his feet again. It had been a rough couple of months. He never thought he would be the same again, but he had come through it. He started boxing again. He wanted to build up his strength. He had lost weight being on bed rest. He didn't like the feeling of being weak all the time. Tommy had been right. He didn't just have himself to worry about anymore.

He looked over at Rebecca and Ellie in the garden. Ellie made a comment, which made Rebecca throw her head back and laugh, lightly bumping her shoulder.

He smiled to himself. He was thankful Ellie found someone she could look up to. She needed a strong female in her life. Sure, she could take care of herself, but there some things a woman could teach her and he couldn't. They were as close as two people could be.

Joel found himself staring at Rebecca. It was something he found himself doing without realizing it. Ellie called him out on it a few times, but he would grumble and mutter something under his breath. Ellie would just smirk at him. She knew. The girl was too perceptive for her own good.

She was wearing a bright yellow sundress. Whenever she had off from work she wore dresses. He asked her about it once. She told him she hadn't worn dresses in years. They weren't practical, but she enjoyed choosing what she wanted to wear because it was comfortable and not out of necessity.

One of the straps was falling off her shoulder as she dug into the ground with a small shovel. She was barefoot and her feet were covered in dirt. He never understood why she gardened without shoes on, but she said it felt good to be one with the Earth. He would tease her, calling her a hippy, but she would just laugh and shake her head. There were a lot of things about her he didn't understand.

Her long red hair was tumbling out of her sun hat. Her once pale sickly skin was tanned from the sun. She had gained weight from a steady diet over the last six months. The bruises and cuts on her face were completely faded. Whenever she smiled he knew it was genuine. She was happy here. It's all he ever wanted when he met her back in Silver Lake.

When he first met her he wanted nothing to do with her. He found her to be an inconvenience. Cargo. She proved her worth though. Every step of the way.

She laughed aloud at something Ellie said again. Knowing Ellie it was probably a stupid pun or dirty joke. He was glad to see Ellie didn't lose that spark within her. She still had some innocence left within her.

The sun hit Rebecca just right, making the red of her hair look like spun gold. Her hair fascinated him. He's never seen anything like it before. It reminded him of fire. She had the stereotypical attitude of a redhead. She didn't take his shit. She called him out, which he needed from time to time.

'Jesus' He muttered to himself.

She wrecked his calm. Looking at her made him feel like he was having another heart attack. He couldn't rectify his thoughts. Every time he told himself to stop it only made it worse. He felt like a dirty old man sometimes. His hair was graying and his body was broken. He couldn't even hear well on his right side. He was old enough to be her father. He was be naive.

Before the outbreak, she wouldn't have given him a second look. He was almost twenty years older than her. She seemed to treat him like an older brother. It was better that way anyway. It was safer.

He saw the way the men in town looked at her, but she paid them no mind. It burned him up whenever he saw the men staring at her. It made him clench his hands into fists. It madd him want to burn the entire town down into the ground.

She defected from a religious cult. She didn't trust men. All they seemed do was hurt her, but she trusted him. He didn't know what he did to gain her trust, but he was thankful for it. He trusted her too. He would never admit it aloud. There wasn't a lot he couldn't admit. Not even to himself.

As if sensing him watching her, she turned around to meet his his gaze. His eyes looked like a deer in headlights. He was caught.

He quickly tore his eyes away from her, turning his attention back to the fence. Maybe he needed to get laid. His hand wasn't doing it for him. He felt tense and wound too tight. Boxing in the barn wasn't cutting it anymore. The last time he had sex wish anyone was Tess. It seemed like such a long time ago. So much has happened. She wouldn't recognize the man he was now. He changed too. He was calmer, more relaxed and at peace. He didn't have to fight anymore.

'You ever gonna bite the bullet and tell her?'

Joel sighed and rolled his eyes,'Leave it alone, Tommy.'

His younger brother jerked his head towards Rebecca and Ellie,'You always say that.' He shook his head,'You ever think she might feel the same way?'

He bowed his head and sighed. It was the same old song and dance with Tommy. He was always trying to push him out of his comfort zone. He's always been a pain in the ass. Even before the outbreak.

'She don't trust men. You see the way she's skittish around them.' He shook his head,'We're friends.'

'Yeah.' Tommy nodded,'Friends don't look at each other like that. Do…you even realize that you've been staring at her for almost a half hour? You don't think a woman knows, Joel?'

He clenched his eyes shut. He wasn't in the mood for a lecture. He was fifty two years old. He didn't need anyone dictating his life.

Tommy saw clear through him. He knew when his brother wanted something. He probably didn't even realize he was staring at her half the time. He wondered why he pushed back? What was he afraid of?

'I know she stays through the night sometimes.' Tommy smiled knowingly,'Maria told me. She said she sees her rising from your house in the early mornings heading to work.

Joel was silent a moment. He couldn't deny it even if he wanted to. She started staying the entire night a week ago. He didn't know when it happened. Ellie asked her to stay after dinner one night. Joel have his permission without giving it a second thought.

He spent so many sleepless nights lying awake in bed knowing she was sleeping in the bed next door to him. She was sleeping well. Her nightmares few and far between, but he stayed up. The house was so quiet at night. He would find himself staring at the wall, knowing her head was on the other side. Torture. It was the only way he could describe it. He told himself it was for Ellie's benefit, but he found himself finding comfort in her presence.

'There ain't nothing happening.' He glared up at his younger brother,'So go back into town and tell them to mind their own fucking business.'

Tommy rolled his eyes and sighed exasperatingly,'Is it because of Tess or…Esther?'

Joel's eyes widened at the mention of their names. His ex wife was someone he didn't like to talk about. He didn't even like mentioning her name. They had been stupid kids. A shotgun wedding was always doomed.

Joel banged the hammer down onto the post of the fence, needing to let out some aggression. His brother could get under his skin. He knew him too well.

'It ain't about them, Tommy.' He shook his head,'She doesn't need my shit. She's not the kind of woman you could just…fuck around with. She deserves more than that.'

Tommy looked over at Rebecca, who was watching them from the garden as Ellie dug a hole. She was staring at them with an inquisitive look on her face. The woman wasn't stupid. She knew they were talking about her.

'She's pretty isn't she?' Tommy grinned,'Any man with eyes could see that.'

'I know that. I ain't stupid. Just…leave it alone, Tommy. Please, leave it alone.'

Tommy decided to relent. He didn't want his brother to have another heart attack. He was in denial. He still needed some time to figure things out.

'I have to get going.' Tommy clapped his hand on his back,'It's Maria's birthday today. We're having a party for her. You should come. Becca's gonna be there. Ellie too.'

Joel nodded silently as Tommy walked away. He knew they were going to Maria's birthday party. It's all they talked about at dinner. Ellie seemed to be excited. Her girlfriend would be there. She was going to have fun. He was asked to go, but turned the invitation down. He didn't like crowds. When he was younger he was always down to party. He didn't think his body could handle it anymore.

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Rebecca waved at Tommy as he got into his horse. Tommy waved back at them as he rode away on his horse.

She looked over at Joel who was working steadily. He was looking better and better every day. He spent a lot of time outside now. His skin was tanned. His Chilean skin attracting the sun like a moth to a flame. He was wearing jeans and a dark green plaid flannel. He wore a cowboy hat to cover himself from the sun.

Whenever she looked at him she felt like she couldn't breathe. He made her chest ache whenever she looked at him. He was such a beautiful man to her. Inside and out. No one would expect him to be intelligent and sensitive. He liked to read books and play guitar. He enjoyed building things.

He would spend hours out in the barn making furniture for people in town. He only went into town to work with Tommy and his men. They would repair buildings around town, fixing whatever they could. The people in town still feared him, but they respected him. He's more than proven his worth to Jackson.

She wondered why Tommy and Joel talked about. She knew they were talking about her. Their eyes gave them away. She smiled to herself. Men thought they were so slick sometimes.

She would catch Joel looking at her sometimes. She would be sitting on the couch reading a book or they would sit out on the porch together, looking out in awe at the beauty this place encapsulated. They've witnessed so many horrors, death and destruction. They deserved some beauty in their lives.

She never let on she caught him staring. Sometimes she would see a look on his face that looked like he was wishfully thinking about something. She always wondered what he was thinking. He didn't look at her like other men did with their leering stared. He looked at her like she was worth something. He didn't treat her like a weak woman. He treated her as an equal.

She didn't trust men, but she trusted him. In the last twenty years he was the only man who treated her with dignity. He gave her choices. He didn't expect anything from her. She couldn't explain it. Not even if she wanted to. All she knew is that she wanted him in her life.

She had to admit, she liked being here. She spent more time here than she did at her own place. She didn't know why she stayed the entire night. She told herself it was to get rest, but all she did at night was lay in bed wide awake. His room was right next to hers.

She often wondered if he was awake like her. She would get up in the mornings and he would be sitting on the porch dressed for the day. She appreciated mornings with him. They would sit in silence watching the sunrise. She loved she could actually do things like that. She didn't have to walk hours on end at daybreak. She could sit still in peace.

Rebecca found herself staring at him too. Whenever she looked at him she didn't think about the men who hurt her before. He was set apart from all of them. He was just Joel. She cared for him. Probably more than she should.

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The sun was just about to set as Ellie walked downstairs, dressed and ready for the party. She wore jeans and a button down shirt. She refused to wear a dress. She wasn't girly and she was fine with that. She was comfortable in her own skin.

Ellie's eyes widened when she saw Joel dressed up, looking impatient as he waited for her. He was wearing dark denim jeans and a dark red Henley. He even polished his boots. His wet hair was slicked back. His beard was neatly trimmed.

She smiled when she saw him wearing his watch. He never took it off. She was happy he appreciated the gesture. He even apologized for blasting off on her and Rebecca. Joel never apologized for anything. Maybe he was growing up after all.

Ellie walked around him and whistled softly,'Fuck, look at you all gussied up.' She smirked,'You trying to look good for someone?'

He placed his hands on his hips and frowned,'You ask me everyday to go into town and do things. I finally do one fucking thing and you break my balls for it.' He crossed his arms over his chest,'You're dressed up too.'

Ellie looked down at herself and laughed,' At least my girl knows I actually like her.'

She saw the annoyance etched deeply into his features. She knew it was a sensitive subject for him. He always got touchy whenever she mentioned the mutual attraction between them. They were both hard headed and stubborn though. She would probably in a nursing home before they realized something between them. They weren't there yet, but they would get there. Ellie was sure of it.

She laughed and grabbed his hand, pulling him out of the house,'Let's go before you change your mind.'

Joel felt his heart pounding out of his chest. He felt anxious about going into town. It was different when he was working. He could do what he had to do and get out. Social gatherings were never his thing.

He didn't know why he decided to go. Tommy's words echoed in his mind the entire day. He needed to do this. He needed to make an effort for Ellie.

They walked into the hall and it was filled with people from town. Music was playing and people were dancing. He could see the joy on their faces. They managed to find happiness in such a dark and cruel world. They chose to live rather than fight. Maybe they were on to something.

People stared at him as if he were gonna poof into thin air. He could see the hesitancy in their gazes. They weren't used to him coming to social gatherings. They weren't used to him at all.

His eyes searched for her in the crowd. He couldn't help himself. She didn't stay for dinner. She headed back to her place to get ready. He wondered if she would come back with them tonight. He was hoping Ellie would ask her. He sure was shit wasn't going to.

His eyes landed on her and he felt like the wind was knocked out of him. She was wearing a dark green spaghetti strapped dress. It fell down to her knees and was loose with ruffles at the bottom. Her hair was down and curled. Her lips were painted red. She was laughing with an older woman he didn't recognize. Then again, he didn't know half the people in this town.

She had a glass filled with something red in it. He looked to be wine. He knew this was a bad idea as soon as he saw her. She was wearing fucking black heels. Where the hell did she get them? Where did she get the right to look like that? An old man's battered heart can only take so much.

He hated the thought of her eyes straying to someone else. There were a lot of eligible bachelors in town. Men her age. He knew she never wanted to be married again, but she would open herself up to a relationship again. He would never see her. She wouldn't come visit the house. No man in his right mind would be comfortable with his woman spending time with another. Rebecca refused to be another man's kept woman ever again. The time would come though. He should start preparing himself for it.

He felt guilt for almost killing her a few months ago. He thought about it every day. If Tommy didn't come between them he would've killed her. He never felt remorse for killing innocent people. It was all apart of survival. He would never forgive himself if he went through it. He didn't even want to think about what that meant.

He forgot all about his insecurities when he's eyes landed on him and Ellie. Her eyes widened as she stared at him. Out of all the young, handsome and worthwhile men in the room, she only had eyes for him in that moment.

Rebecca excused herself from her friend as she made her way over to him. His heart thumped loudly in his chest, the reverberating sounds echoed in his ears. He didn't know what he should say. She was the only woman who could render him speechless just by existing. Maybe the heart attack fucked his brain up.

Ellie looked up at Joel and smirked,'She looks really hot. You should tell her that.'

Joel sighed and shook his head. He wasn't even going to respond to that. He had to agree though. She was a fucking knockout. His younger self would've been all over her. He had confidence back then. He had been a thirty two year old man. He wasn't as confident with woman as he used to be.

It had been different with Tess. Their relationship was bred out of comfort. He loved her, but not in the way she wanted.

He shook his head, ridding his mind of those thoughts. He couldn't think about Tess anymore. She was dead. He needed to move on.

Rebecca pushed her way through the crowd as she made her way over to him. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears. She was on her second glass of wine and felt…happy. She hasn't had a drink in years. It felt good to let loose and have fun. She felt almost giddy. Maybe she was drunk.

One thing was for certain though. Joel was here and he dressed up. He looked handsome. He looked uncomfortable as he stood there with Ellie. His eyes were searching the crowd and darting back and forth.

She laughed as she walked over to them,'Relax, there isn't any infected here. Just drunk people. I'm probably going to be busy at work tomorrow. You just know some drunk asshole is gonna hurt themselves.'

Joel smirked as he looked over her face. Her cheeks were red from the wine. Her chest was flushed and her blue eyes were shining brightly. She had a wide smile on her face.

'I reckon you might be one of those drunk assholes come tomorrow morning, darlin'

The endearment slipped out and her southern heart shook. She loved listening to him talk. His gruff southern drawl was sharp like a razor and smooth like a locomotive.

Ellie stared up at Joel in surprise. Who was this guy? He was calling people 'darlin' and shit. She smirked to herself. She was so going to break his balls for this.

Rebecca leaned down and hugged Ellie. The teenaged spotted her girlfriend and made a beeline toward her, leaving them both in the dust.

She looked up at him and surprised him by placing her hand on his arm. She was a touchy drunk it seemed,'You look really handsome tonight, Joel.' She smiled softly,'I'm glad you came.'

He shrugged sheepishly, feeling uncomfortable under her scrutinizing gaze. It always seemed like she could see right through him,'Ellie made me come.'

She nodded and smiled wryly,'Sure she did. What changed your mind?'

He could be honest in this moment. He could tell her the thought of her dancing with some young chump made him launch the punching bag off the chain from the force of his fists. The burning rage he felt inside of him of another man touching her. They didn't deserve her. He sure as hell didn't either.

'I owed it to Maria.' He shook his head as his eyes trailed over her body,'You…you look…uh…nice.' He nodded, looking pleased with himself,'The dress is pretty.'

The bright smile on her face was worth the compliment. Her cheeks reddened even deeper as she looked away shyly. He wasn't used to handing out compliments. This pansy ass shit was more of Tommy's forte.

'Thank you.' She twirled around excitedly,'One of the ladies is a dressmaker. She made this for me.

Joel wondered if this woman made all of her dresses. He felt compelled to thank the woman for that. She deserved to feel pretty. A woman like her deserved the fucking world.

She surprised him by grabbing his hand,'Come on and mingle. Have a few drinks. You might actually have fun.'

Joel stared at her, wondering what the hell he got himself into.

He had a few drinks. Bourbon neats. He had a couple beers at home to loosen his nerves. He was leaning against the bar, watching Rebecca dance with some young asshole. She tried getting him to dance all night, but he outright refused. He came to the party. It should be enough.

Now he was downing back another bourbon. The burning Amber liquid didn't burn anymore. He felt numb. Just like he wanted.

He stared at her dancing with the young man. She looked comfortable with him. He wondered if if was the wine making making her feel at ease with him. Maybe it was just him.

She looked happy as she danced with him. She fit in here. Even Ellie was on the dance floor with her girlfriend. Tommy had his arms wrapped around Maria as they danced along to the music.

He slammed the empty glass onto the bar. It was stupid for him to come here. He never should've done it. He didn't belong here. He didn't belong anywhere.

He felt the walls closing in on him. He needed to get some fresh air. The air in here was stifling and hot.

He walked out of the hall and stood outside. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling the fresh air into his lungs. He let out a sigh. He should go home.

A petite brunette came sauntering over to him. He recognized her from around town. She worked with Maria. He didn't know her name and he didn't ask. She caught him staring at him a few times. He wasn't naive. He may have been out of the game for awhile, but he recognized want in a woman's eyes.

She was pretty with her long brown hair and eyes. She didn't look a damn like Rebecca, which is just what he needed. He needed to distract himself from the man's hands on her hips. The way she leaned close into him and laughed. She was drunk and having fun. He wouldn't take that away from her. He still wanted to punch the living daylights out of that kid. He was probably just as old as Rebecca, which made things worse. The man she was dancing with is exactly the kind of man he expected she would be drawn too. Those handsome all American boy types.

He was itching to hit something. He wanted to kill? Why did he always resort to murder whenever he was angry? Ellie was right. He needs to tone down the violence. He didn't know any other way to live.

She walked closer to him, leaning close to him,'You're Tommy's brother Joel aren't you? I see you working around town with him. You both look alike.' She smirked as she looked around his face,'You're the cuter one too.'

He had to contain himself from rolling his eyes at her comment. She was laying it on thick. His brain was hazy from the liquor. He couldn't think straight. So many images were in his head. Ellie, Tess. Sarah, Esther, Rebecca.

Rebecca.

He gritted his teeth as she placed her hand on his chest,'I've seen you looking at me in town. I've been looking at you too.' She gently rubbed his chest,'Everyone in town is afraid of, but I'm not. You do look tense and grumpy all the time. I think I can help with that.'

Joel was about to tell her where to go when he looked into the window. She was still dancing with that fuck. He hated this so much. Fuck Tommy and Ellie for guilting him into coming.

Never again.

He grabbed her hand as he pulled her down into the alleyway. It was late. People were either still at the party or in bed.

She gasped as he pushed her against the wall. He wouldn't dare kiss her. He never kissed Tess or any other women he had been with. It made things too intimate. Too real. Her eyes widened and she laughed as he roughly slid his hands onto her hips. He spun her around as her chest hit the brick wall.

He wouldn't ask her name. She didn't seem to care about formalities either. Maybe she needed this release just as much as he did.

He pulled her panties down, yanking them down enough to give him access. He unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans, popping the button. He pulled his cock out. He was surprised he was so aroused. It could've been the liquor running through his veins.

Or maybe it was Rebecca leaning into him all night.

He pulled his cock out, not even bothering to pull down his jeans. He parted her legs with his knee. He licked his palm, sliding his rough and calloused hand over her pussy. He positioned himself at her entrance and pushed inside her all the way. She gasped against the brick wall as he held tightly onto her hips. He grunted softly. It's been almost nine months since he's had sex. A record for him, but when you're running for your life, you don't have time to think about these things.

He pounded into her hard and fast. He didn't allow himself to be gentle. It didn't have anything to do with that. He needed this, to feel wanted and have a beautiful woman give his attention. She seemed to love every minute of it. She pushed back against him, her palms flat against the wall. Her moans echoed in the warm Summer air.

He tried not to think about her, but he as fucked this woman he wondered why she didn't have red hair. Her eyes weren't the same. She didn't smell as good as her. She wasn't as warm.

He would take what he could get though. This would be the best he would ever get. He didn't deserve anything more than a cheap fuck in the alleyway.

Rebecca frowned as she watched Joel walk out of the hall. As she danced with someone she watched him at the bar. He looked aggravated. He didn't want to be here. No one should've forced him. He looked uncomfortable and out of his element.

She looked at the man she was dancing with and sighed. She didn't want to dance with this guy. Not really anyway. She practically begged him to dance all night, but he refused. She decided to leave it alone. So when Matthew asked him to dance she obliged. She hasn't danced in years. She didn't want to have fun with just anyone though. She wanted to have fun with him, but this isn't what he wanted.

She excused herself from Matthew and walked outside to look for Joel. She didn't see him, but Dusty was still tied to the post. He never left her alone. He loved her horses just as much as she did. He was even training them to become sheep hoarders. Her best girls were proving their worth too.

She heard the echoed sounds of loud moaning. She wasn't stupid. She knew what those kinds of sounds were. She walked off the porch, feeling a sickening dread in the pit of her stomach. For some reason, she had an inkling. She hoped she were wrong. She really fucking hoped she were wrong.

She told herself to go back in, but something held her back. She found herself walking, following the source. She found herself standing at the end of the alleyway.

When she saw them it felt like a jolt of lightening pierce through her heart. She thought she understood the pain of lose. She thought she became numb to it. When she saw Joel's body pressed up against her as he fucked Marjorie against the wall, she wanted the ground to swallow her up whole.

Marjorie. She was friends with this woman. They had meals together. She wanted to punch her in the throat. Did she get close to her just for Joel? She got what she wanted in the end. It seemed like he did too.

She took a step back and leaned back against the wall. She didn't want to see anymore. She could feel the tears threatening to spill from her eyes and she hated herself for it. She swore to herself she would never cry over a man again. Leave it up to Joel to be the one to shatter her into pieces.

She placed her hand over her heart, willing herself to calm down as she took a deep breath. She would get through this. They were just friends. Would he have any time left for her while he was with Marjorie? Would his nights be spent in her head rather than on the porch with her? She would never him play music again.

Never again.

Joel and Marjorie walked out of the alleyway. Her dress was crumpled as she smoothed it out. She fixed her hair as Joel walked ahead of her.

Majorie met Rebecca's gaze and quickly bowed her head down. She looked almost ashamed and embarrassed. She shouldn't be. Joel was a free man. He didn't owe anything to her.

Everyone in town knew her and Joel were friends. Maybe more if you listened to the gossip around town. Fuck knows how this story will be spun in town tomorrow.

Joel couldn't bring himself to look at her. There was no doubt in his mind she knew. It was written plainly on her face. He should be grateful. It's what he wanted. Then why did he feel so fucking ashamed? He's never felt shame in his life.

She tried to play it cool, but the tears in her eyes gave it away. Marjorie walked away from them quickly. She obviously didn't want to be caught in the middle of this.

Joel ran a hand through his messy hair. She didn't say anything for a bit. She crossed her arms over her chest, feeling cold all of the sudden.

'How do you feel?' Her tone was calm and indifferent, but it cracked with emotion. He could always see right through her.

Like shit He thought to himself.

He thought fucking her would make him feel better. It just made the tension even worse. Marjorie isn't what he wanted. He almost had something close. He was so close to knowing what it felt like to be happy. Yet again he pushed it away. The damage was irreparable.

He didn't answer her. He just stood there staring at her. He was still a little drunk, but he knew what he was doing. He couldn't look at her. He couldn't see the disappointment on her face.

She learned tonight what it meant to get close to him. It was dangerous. He was reckless in his emotions. She was one of the few people in this town who actually trusted him.

She shook her head as tears fell from her eyes,'I guess you don't feel anything.'

She walked away from him, heading to the direction of her building. She wasn't going home with him and Ellie tonight.

He stood there in the middle of the road, his hands bunched into fists at his sides. All he could was stare at her. He discovered a new low of self hatred tonight.