Crazy Girls
Chapter 31: VEGAS BABY!
Kagome: Sango, where's my plane ticket?
Sango: up ur butt
Kagome: That's not very nice of you
Sango: yeah well I'm not very nice. Can we just get this trip over with? Why are we even going to Vegas in the first place?!
Yasha: So you can get the sword out of your ass
Sango: fight me dog boy
Miroku: Stop talking to my love that way!
Sango: I'm not your love you perv
Miroku: I am offended, Dearest Sango!
Kagome: This isn't Jerry Springer
Sango: can we just go before Kagz makes even more references that I don't understand?
Shippo: I wanna go to Hooters
Sango: Shippo there is no way you are coming with us
Kirara: *in human form* you're staying here with me and we're gonna have some fun
Shippo: What kind of fun?
Sango: *glares at Kirara*
Kirara: *glares back* any kind of fun you want
Kagome: Anyway! Lets just board the damn plane
Sango: *glares at Kirara again* yeah let's go...
-on the plane-
Yashie: OWWW MY EARS FUCKING HURT
Kagome: Here, chew some gum
Yasha: Why the fuck would I do that?
Kagome: It'll ease the pressure on your ears
Miroku: Lady Kagome, you seem very calm, even with Inuyasha being a belligerent fool
Kagome: Eh, someone drugged my coffee this morning I think... So yeah, I'm pretty calm
Yasha: *is talking to a flight attendant* Look lady I don't want any fuckin drink or whatever, so leave me alone, damnit!
Kagome: *slaps ducktape over his mouth* Please excuse him eheh...
Sango: *stares out the window*
Miroku: *whispers to Sango* hey you wanna have sex in the bathroom?
Sango: NO YOU PERV! *SSLLLAAAAPPP* Kagome can we change seats?!
Kagome: That's what I was waiting for. Sure
Kagome and Sango: *switch seats and Inuyasha glares at both girls, still having the ducktape over his lips* Mmhmhmhmhm hmhmhmhm mhmhmhmhmhmhm!
Sango: Are you alright, Yashie? Do you want the tape off?
Inuyasha: *nods vigorously*
Sango: *rips it off really fast*
Kagome: *whispering to Miroku whose drinking some water* Ya know it's bad enough if your kid tells you they masturbate, but it's even worse if the say ' I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU!'
Miroku: *eyes go wide and spits out drink*
Kagome: *laughing at Miroku who also got yelled at by the woman in front of him*
Inuyasha: *starts yelling nonsense*
Sango: *whispers in his ear in a sexy voice* if you don't shut up I'm going to have to shut you up myself...*
Kagome: *hears and shoots up* I KNEW YOU WERE TRYING TO TAKE MY MAN!
Sango: shhh Kagome it was reverse psychology goddamnit!
Kagome: Oh *blinks stupidly*
Miroku: may I suggest that we just change our seats back?
Kagome: Can we please switch seats? This kid keeps- *gets kicked from behind* -kicking my seat and I don't want to do something rash
Sango: *sigh* fineee
Kagome: *while switching whispers in Sango's ear* make sure to give that brat your best 'leave me alone or die monk' glare...
Sango: *glares at Miroku as she sits down* just so you know, I am not sitting here because of my own will.
Miroku: *merely smiles and looks out the window*
-In Vegas-
Yasha: HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS PLACE IS HUGE
Kagome: SHUT UP
Sango: *is in a really bad mood because all of her luggage got lost*
Miroku: Hey Kagz you and Yash probably want your own room right right so that means I'm sharing one with Sango right?!
Sango: OH HELLL NO
Kagome: No! Sango's sharing with me, she's already had enough shit today
Sango: but if I share a room with you then you and Yashie will have to do it somewhere else like in the casino bathroom or something
Kagome: Actually it's *whispers* that time of the month, so we won't be fucking
Sango: ohhh k then... Good luck explaining that to him...
Kagome: Oh Yasha~! Remember when you said you smelt blood on my a couple of days ago?
Yasha: Yeah...Why?
Sango: ohhh k then... *blocks out their convo*
Kagome: Well...*shoves textbook from health in his arms and shows him the page, occasionally rephrasing words*
-Twenty minutes later-
Yasha: ...
Sango: so Miroku...yeah there's no point in making conversation with you
Kagome: Yasha..? *thinking: Did I kill him or something...?*
Miroku: well why don't you try?
Sango: nahhh... Let's go to the casino!
-Meanwhile back at Sango's house-
Shippo: KIRARA! I WANNA WIN THIS HIDE AND SEEK GAME DANGIT
Kirara: *is hiding in the fridge*
Kirara: *thinking: Good lord, don't let him find me... I don't want him to know I only suggested this so I could drink some milk...*
Shippo: KIRARA GET OUT HERE OR ILL GO TO HOOTERS MYSELF
Kirara: OH NO YOU WON'T
Shippo: *opens the fridge* GOTCHA
Kirara: Shit... ((At least she mumbles
Shippo: Come on let's go to Hooters!
Kirara: No way. Maybe if you had a magical spell to make you like seventeen...
Narrator: -Some Odd Hours Later- Inuyasha had gotten over the trauma Kalme subjected him to, and now everyone was in a casino. Sango and Miroku were playing some game and he was winning, Inuyasha an Kagome were playing with the alot machines and Yasha won, and they all got drunk too.
Kagome: Yasha stop trying to climb the magic bean stalk! I'm gonna get the Golden Egg damnit!
Yasha: Buut the mean lady beat me in Patty Cake, I just wannted to gget a p-partry
Sango MIROKU LOOK I FOUND A FUCKIN POKER CHIP ON THE FUCKING FLOOR ISNT THAT FUCKING HILARIOUS?!
Miroku: *surprisingly(or not) has a great tolerance for alcohol* yes that's great Sango...
Kagome: GET DOWN FROM THERE ZELDA! I WILL BANISH YOU FROM EDOLAS
Kagome: MIROKU!
Miroku: umm what Kagome?
Kagome: I WANT A GIANT PUPPY MADE OF OF FUCK
Miroku: umm good luck with that...
Kagome: SANGO PLAN A!
Miroku: wait where did Sango go?!
Sango: is making out with some guy while sitting on a poker table*
Kagome: THATS NOT PLAN A YOU SLUT!
Kagome: YASHA PLAN A!
Yasha: GOT IT! *suddenly has a bag if vases and throws them with one hand, his other hand having his claws dug into the ceiling* UPSIDE DOWN HANYOU ATTACK! VENGEANCE WILL BE MINE
Miroku: *runs over and punches the guy* get off my woman!
Sango: ROKUUUUEY! *tries to make out with Miroku*
Kagome: HI I'M KAGOME AND I'D LIKE TO SING FOR YOU
Kagome: *starts singing a random la la la tune*
Sango: *pushes Miroku on the ground and runs over to Kagome*
Kagome: GET OFF OF ME! I'MMA WARRIOR DAMNIT!
Sango: BUT I WANNA SING!
Kagome: WELL HERE I HAVE TO GO FIGHT A BASTARD
Kagome: *hand microphone to Sango* GET OUT HERE TOU FUCKING COWARD NARAKU I'LL SHOOT YOU IN THE FUCKING HEAD AND SEND YOU DOWN HELL LANE FOR FUCKING ETERNITY
Miroku: *to Inuyasha* our women...
Inuyasha: *starts laughing maniacally*
Kagome: WHAT WAS THAT CADET?!
Sango: IM A SHOOTING STAR LEAPING THROUGH THE SKYYYY LIKE A TIGER
Kagome: GO SANGO CHAN
Miroku: DEFYING THE LAWS OF GRAVITEEEE
Kagome: SHUT UP CADET I DIDNT SAY YOU COULD SING
Sango: ITS NOT A DUET
Miroku: it is now!
Kagome: HELL NO!
Both: DONT STOP ME NOW! DONT STOP ME NOW!
Kagome: SHUT THE FUCK UP GOD DAMNIT MOTHER FUCKING SHIT ON GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING TOAST SHIT ASSHOLE BITCH MOTHER FU-
Public service lady: Due to excessive amounts of vulgarity we needed to redirect this to another scene. We're sorry for the inconvenience
Both trying to sing over each other: IM A ROCKETSHIP ON MY WAY TO MARS ON A COLLISION COURSE I AM A SATELLITE! IM OUTTA CONTROL! IM A SEX MACHINE READY TO RELOAD! LIKE AN ATOM BOMB ABOUT TO OH OH OH OHOH EXPLODE!
Sango and Miroku: *awesomely intense guitar solos*completely ignoring the public service lady*
Kagome: Sango I want chocolate
Sango: KAGOME IM GUITAR SOLOING!'
Kagome: B-but S-Sango... I I just wanted to to... *sobs*
Yasha: SANGO U BITCH U MADE MY MAYE CRY
Sango: whoops... I-I'm sorry Yashie... *starts to cry*
Kagome: YASHA YOU MADE SANGO CRY
Kagome: I wanna play spin the bottle Sannie
Sango: YEAH LETS PLAY
Miroku: you should all go to bed...
Sango: FIGHT ME MAGIC MAN
Kagome: SANGO USE HIRAIKOSU!
Yasha: IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE
Miroku: please do not use illegal weaponry on me; I you want to play spin the bottle then let's play...
Kagome: YAYA
Yasha: Kagome can we-
Kagome: NO!
Kagome: Wait like five to eight days okay?
Miroku: wait you don't have a bottle to use
Sango: *chugs a whole beer* HERES A BOTTLE TO USE!
Kagome: THATS MY JOB
Kagome: *starts lookin like Cana from Fairy Tail*
-Time Skip-
Everyone's playing spin the bottle in Kagz and San's hotel room
Kagome: YAY IT'S MY TURN!
Kagome: If I have to kiss Miroku one more time I swear...
Kagome: *spins bottle and it lands on Yasha* YAY SEVEN MINUTES IN HEAVEN
Sango: *slowly drinks beer and then stops and wipes mouth* so Miroku, you wanna do it in the bathroom?
Miroku: My love wouldn't you rather be aware and and sober to experience our first joining?
((Fire: He's also nursing head wounds from Inuyasha, from kissing Kagzie))
Sango: *slams bottle on the ground* WEVE DONE IT BEFORE
Kagome: WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUNG LADY?!
Sango: haven't we done it before? I think...
Yasha: As your father, I am very displeased, you're grounded, and now I will personally murder him. First he makes out with my mate and then I find out he did it with my daughter!
Yasha: Disgraceful
Sango: -_- you're not my dad
Kagome: Well technically you were adopted, but we wanted to wait to tell you, sweetheart...
Miroku: *stands up* ok this is getting out of hand... Can't you all just fall asleep already? I feel like the parent...
Sango: don't you all think it's weird that Miroku is the only sober one?
Yasha and Gome: We're the parents, you lecher... Now Sango honey, don't feel grossed out in a week or two when you hear me screwing your father, and technically I'm your sister as well
Sango: THATS IT IM OUT! *stands up and drags Miroku out of the room*
Kagome: WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID?!
Kagome: Dear am I a bad mother for saying that?
Yasha: Sometimes we have those moments.. *cracks open a beer and lays back in a recliner that magically appeared along with flipping on a TV to the sports channel*
Miroku: San why are you taking me to my hotel room?
Sango: *shrugs* not gonna lie I kinda wanna screw you
Miroku: How about we wait until you're sober?
Sango: BUT I WONT WANNA DO IT WEN IM SOBER! ILL JUST DENY IT AND SLIGHTLY MURDER YOU
Kagome and Yasha: *somehow asleep*
Kagome: *wakes up and throws vase, hits Sango on the head and she falls to the ground asleep* You're welcome all those out there *goes back to sleep*
Miroku: KAGOME YOU- wait I really don't wanna wake her up...
Yasha: *wakes up and whispers* You really don't want to..
Miroku: *tucks Sango into bed*
((Fire: Can we continue this like sometime tomorrow or something? I don't want something weird like Yasha and Kagome claiming to be Sango's parents to happen again tonight))