Crazy Girls
Chapter 32: VEGAS BABY (again)
Disclaimer: neither of us have ever actually had alcohol so this won't make sense at all
-The Next Morning-
Kagome: *wakes up with MONSTER hangover* I HATE YOU ALL
Yasha: Shut up... *grumbles and falls back asleep*
Kagome: *walks out in red lace bra nd panties set* Roku what happened last night?
Miroku: *just took a shower* you all got fucking drunk
Sango: *still asleep in bed*
Miroku: And is it a little breezy Kagome?
Kagome: Huh?
Miroku: Look down.
Kagome: *does as told, blushes, screams and runs back into hotel room*
Sango: *sits up and looks like a fucking goddess* huh? Miroku what happened?
Miroku: *eyes widen at her beauty* uhh... Uh you... *shakes head* you really don't want to know
Kagome: Yashie-bear what happened?!
Miroku: well first there was the singing, which I had to join in on, of course, Inuyasha tried to climb the TV, and then we all played spin the bottle, which resulted in you and Yash claiming to be Sango's new parents. Oh, and Sango tried to sleep with me.
Sango: I did WHAT?!
Kagome: WHERE IS MY GOD DAMN AUDITION PAPERS?!
Sango: audition papers?
Kagome: Yeah
Sango: whatever; I'm gonna go take a shower...
Kagome: I just got a call from this movie set people and they want us to audition for their movie
Miroku: you AND yash?
Kagome: *hears a pissing sound and hears crinkling of paper* Yasha those better not be my papers...
Yasha: *freezes*
Miroku: *mutters* the dog ate your homework...
Kagome: No I think he pissed on them, but at least I have copies...
Kagome: I KNEW I should have set him outside last night, let him do that shit out there and not on my GOD DAMN PAPERS
Miroku: well have fun punishing him...
Kagome: Oh believe me, I will *licks lips*
Sango: *just stepped out of the shower* I'm gonna ignore that...
Kagome: YASHA TIME TO GO
Yasha: what for?
Kagome: MY PERIODS OVER, FUCK ME DAMNIT
Woman with three kids: *gasps* How very inappropriate!
Miroku: *mutters* savage...
Kag: Shit...
Yasha: Not again
Miroku: why the fucks did you bring three kids to Las Vegas
Woman: WHY NOT
Miroku: whoops I meant to say that in my head...
Sango: *peaks out of the bathroom wearing a towel* Yeah I forgot that I lost my luggage and I don't have any clothes...
Kag: Here use these
Kagome: *hands you clothes* Dont be pissed at me though. I can't help what I pack
Sango: Kagome I am NOT wearing these...
Miroku: I have a T-shirt you can use if you want it.
Sango: fine but Kagome I just need to borrow some underwear
Kagome: Ok here
Sango: *mutters* can you get any more slutty...
Kagome: Hey I can't help it that Ayame accidentally packed a pair of her thongs...
Kagome: Wait a minute, DONT USE THOSE!
Kagome: IT'S GOT WOLF PLUS WOLF GERMS ON IT
Sango: I would rather go commando *tosses thong out the window*
Thong: *lands on child's head*
Kid: What's this Mommy?
Woman: *screams*
Kagome: Sorry here. I just bought these...
Sango: as long as they're clean
Kagome: they are
Sango: k *disappears into the bathroom*
...
Miroku why does your t-shirt say "Female Body Inspector?"
Miroku: must have packed the wrong shirt...
Kagome: Lemme call Ayame so I can scream at her... *dials Ayame* YOU BITCH! WHY DID YOU PUT YOUR FUCKING THONG IN MY BAG?! THAT HAS KOGA FUCK GUNK ON IT DAMN YOU TO HELL
Kagome: Sango I have a shirt for you instead
Sango: yeah I don't think this will fit me; why is it so tight?!
Kagome: Oh wait... that's Shiori's from when we had a sleepover last month... Sorry, here. I think this is your size
Sango: BUT ITS SEE THROUGH
Kagome: JUST WEAR THE DAMN SHIRT
Kagome: I thought it was black.. Is that why a lady screamed when I wore that once?
Miroku: wait I thought you and Yash were gonna go screw?
Kagome: My head hurts now so I wouldn't be able to scream anyway
Kagome: And it would be too hot to do anything soo
Sango: *mutters* TMI...
Sango: ok I'm just gonna wear Miroku's sweatshirt and I need pants
Yasha: I found these in your closet...Oh what these are Kagome's from that one time when we-
Miroku: Alright can we keep it PG please?
Sango: it's already too late for that
Kagome: MY HEAD STILL HURTS GOD DAMNIT
Sango: guys seriously I dont have any pants
Kagome: I have a pair of shorts you could wear...
Kagome: My American cousin forced me to go to church and I had to wear these
Kagome: Stupid religious stuff
Sango: you needed shorts for church..?
Kagome: It was summer damnit
Sango: Kagome these are pretty short; how long ago was that?
Kagome: Two weeks ago
Kagome: Hang on, there's a spell I can use to make it larger for you
Panda: ((Please don't use magic on the premises
Fire: ((But we let Kirara...
Panda: ((Yeah cuz she's special
Fire: ((and I'm not?!
Panda: ((No you just can't use magic
Panda: ((It's a cat demon thing
Panda: ((So I guess Rin can use magic
Panda: ((Which makes sense
Fire: ((What can I do?
Panda: ((fuck Inuyasha
Fire: ((I hate you
Panda: ((no you don't
Sango: hold on *disappears into the bathroom*
Sango: *comes out wearing underwear, Miroku's sweatshirt, and Kagome's really short shorts*
Miroku: *on the verge of nosebleed*
Kagome: Just send Kirara an email or something and have her use her kitty magic. Or Rin for that matter
Sango: yeah because you can't even see that I'm wearing any shorts. But I don't think that will work and if we tell Rin that we're here she will follow us
Kagome: Just say that you'll give her more candy to fix your shorts, and hope she'll keep her mouth shut
Sango: only I don't have my laptop because it got lost with my luggage
Kagome: Isn't it your birthday today?
Sango: oh fuck yeah
Kagome: Happy birthday!
Kagome: *shoves a box in your face*
Sango: *tears open* omg a new laptop!
Sango: wow how'd you know I would lose my luggage
Kagome: I didn't, I just bought if because the engraving reminded me of you
Engraving: pervert slayer
Sango: wow...
Miroku: *looks at random watch* guys if you want free breakfast we have to be there in less than five minutes
Kagome: DAMN LETS GO
All four: *race down to breakfast and eat like all the food(especially Yashie)*
Yashie: Mehahnflhamfksh hdihvdigs jhdkuna
Miroku: Chew, swallow, then talk
Yasha: *swallows food* This shit is fuckin good
Sango: you're gonna choke
Kagome: Then I can do CPR
Miroku: CPR is for when you ant breathe
Kagome: He wouldn't be able to breathe if he's choking
Sango: never mind...
Kagome: SHUT UP
Sango: so what should we do today guys?
Yasha: Strip club?
Kagome: *slap* PERVERT
Miroku: whoa Yash
Sango: Miroku don't even comment
Kagome: Now I know how you feel Sango
Sango: hopefully you won't have to get used to it *glares*
Kagome: Actually I might...
Miroku: *mutters* you're the one who wants to fuck him all the time...
Kagome: THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE CAN GO TO A STRIP CLUB DAMNIT YOU PERVERT!
Miroku: no, no, that isn't what I meant at all! But if Yash is becoming a pervert I can understand his reasoning
Sango: just stop talking. Just stop.
-awkward pause-
Sango: why don't we all get drunk today? We can't drink all day if we don't start in the morning
Yashie: you sound like a middle aged mom...
Kagome: Didn't we get drunk last night?
Sango: yeah but I never get drunk back home; whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas
Inuyasha: again with the cheesy lines...
Sango: I'm gonna go tell the bartender at the casino to make sure all of us always have a drink in our hand!
Kagome: Why...?
Sango: BECAUSE I NEVER GET DRUNK AT HOME SO WE HAVE TO DO IT NOW
Sango: don't worry I'm sure we'll drink slow during the day...
Kagome: Well jeez, Mrs. Prude bitch ass sober lady
Sango: see if we were drunk I would take no offense to that comment you just made
Kagome: Well I am drunk so fuck you
Sango: how tf are you already drunk
Kagome: My water bottle was actually filled with Russian Vodka
Sango: WELL I BET I CAN GET EVEN DRUNKER
Miroku: please don't...
Kagome: What happened last time?
Miroku: it was just really tiring for me; I don't get drunk as easily so I had to keep up with all of you
Miroku: plus it's really frustrating when Sango begs me to sleep with her and I know that I can't take advantage of her like that
Sango: you could be a bit more subtle you know
Kagome: SOMEONE TELL ME WHERE MY FUCKING LUCKY SCOTCH IS GOD DAMNIT
Sango: I dunno but I'm gonna get like a lot of alcohol and bath in it upstairs
Kagome: I did that a few times, my hair had Tequila in it for two weeks...
Sango: well I'll just put my hair up then
Miroku: as much as I want to see how this turns out you probably shouldn't...
Kagome: I did it with Yasha in a tub full of booze
Yasha: Wasn't that New Years?
Kagome: Yeah...
Sango: you did it with someone?!
Miroku: oh don't start
Kagome: Sango take a fucking chill pill! I thought you knew this after all the damn times Yash and I disappear durin our sleepovers
Miroku: I have one question for you Sango; when did you become such a pervert?!
Kagome: When she said she wanted to fuck you! Yeah I saw the fucking video on YouTube!
Yash: I'm scarred
Kagome: Shut it you
Yash: Yes ma'am...
Sango: *isnt there to make a comment*
Miroku: wait where did Sango go?!
Kagome: I think she dissentegrated...
Yash: May I speak, ma'am?
Kagome: Sure...
Yash: Thank you ma'am...
Kag: Boy, I'm your bitch/mate/wife but I am not a ma'am, damnit.. Stop acting pussy whipped and act like yourself
Yash: Oi Miroku, where the fuck is the Bourbon
Miroku: wait you aren't married how are you his wife?
Kag: Dude, we got married last year
Kag: You were too busy trying to fuck your girlfriend to notice
Miroku: when was that?! Why wasn't I invited?
Kag: Again, you were too busy trying to fuck my sister
Miroku: wasn't she invited tho?
Kag: She was too busy trying to get away from YOUR hormone driven ass
Miroku: but now she wants to fuck me?
Kag: Well she's had her taste of alcohol... She also tried to shove her fingers up my-
Miroku: no she didn't; I wasn't drunk remember? Oh wait, you don't remember
Kag: We were at a hot spring, and she was drunk I think... Or maybe not...
Miroku: can't believe I missed that...
Kag: Well it was pretty hot, of course in retaliation I shoved **********************************************************************
*Yasha slaps hand over her mouth*
Yash: Alright, I think that's enough for one day...
Miroku: *eyes closed* control yourself...
Kag: Shut the hell up before I whip you... *whip magically appears* Don't test me, Houshi
Yash: You really don't wanna test her, she got me with that thing too...
Miroku: ya know we should probably find Sango... *maybe if I change the subject...*
Kag: A) yeah we should and B) don't change the fucking subject
Miroku: alright I'll check the hotel room, Kagome check the ladies room, and Yash check the casino
-after searching and no one finds her-
Kag: Wait didnt she say she was gonna take a booze bath?
Miroku: yeah but she isn't in either hotel room...
Kag: So what? I took a booze bath in a empty parking lot once...
Miroku: so where do you think she is?!
Kagome: Well she said something about ramen
Miroku: where woul she get ramen?! If she's passed out in a shopping cart at the grocery store I will kill you
Kagome: I passed out in a bathtub in Home Depot once...
Miroku: she doesn't even know where the grocery store is! And neither do we for that matter
Kagome: Well actually, there's a store really close... She must've gone in there... B-But...
Miroku: but what?!
Kagome: W-Well... It's a...a...
Miroku: WHAT?!
Kagome: IT'S A SEX SHOP
Miroku: we have to go find her right now
Kagome: I MAY HAVE FUCKED MY MATE AND DONE MOST OF THE SHIT IN THERE, BUT I RE-FUCKING-FUSE TO GO IN THERE GOD DAMNIT!
Miroku: IM NOT GOING IN THERE ALONE!
Kagome: THATS WHAT MOST OF YOUR BEARING YOUR CHILD FANTASIES INVOLVE YOU PERVERTED PRUDE!
Miroku: I'm going to get her right now; why are we wasting time?! *runs out before anyone can say anything*
Kagome: I'll kill 'im
Inuyasha: why?
Kagome: BECAUSE HE LEFT WHILE I WAS RANTING!
Kagome: SANGO'S A BIG FUCKING GIRL DESPITE BEING DRUNK SHE IS CAPABLE OF TAKING CARE OF HERSELF!
Miroku: *runs back and stops, panting* she wasn't... Even... In there...
Kagome: That's because she's asleep on my bed... *points at said girl*
Miroku: well why didn't you tell me that sooner instead of making me go into that horrible store?!
Kagome: She just crawled in my window when you left...
Kagome: She just crawled in my window when you left...
-While Miroku was In the Sex Shop-
Kagome: Seriously, WHO THE HELL RUNS AWAY WHEN IM RANTING DOG DAMNIT!
Yash: How should I know?
Sango: *climbs in bedroom window, and passes out on bed*
Kag: *blinks* Found 'er...
Miroku: how did she crawl in WERE ON THE SIXTH FLOOR
Kag: Spider-demon-slayer powers?
Yash: Spider-slayer, spider-slayer! Does whatever a spider-slayer does!
Sango: *yawns and sits up* hey guys I just had the craziest dream
Kag: *pauses in strangling Yash* What was it?
Sango: I had lunch with Kuranosuke
Kagome: Why? I thought you called that guy kinda...well... Stalkerish...
Sango: well it was just a dream... And I'm kinda drunk ya know
Kagome: I had a dream where a laptop was screaming insults at me
Samgo: that's nice. Ima go get some more alkkahwole
Kagome: Some what? Are you still drunk?
Sango: nooo that's why I need alka-al-alcohol
Kagome: Ohh! You need booze!
Miroku: no one is getting any more booze. I've had enough!
Kagome: Swhat?! PWEALSSE WOKI!
Yash: Uhh... I'm just gonna...*disappears*
Miroku: alright fine; you two go do whatever you want but Sango isn't going anywhere! It's way too early in the day to be this drunk
Kag: Not forwwww mehhh
Kag: WAIT, WHERE'D YASHIE GO?!
Sango: aww come on Woki *commence giggling*
Miroku: no way! You can get drunk later on!
Kag: Sannie, we can get drunk together back home...
Kag: And if Roku doesn't mindddd shraring...
((Fire: OK! Let's skip that...
Panda: ((ok then...
-Roku and Sango stay in the hotel room and Kagz goes to find Yashie-
-With Kagz- Narrator: Kagome: i*s looking for her mate occasionally screaming 'INUYASHA IF YOU DONT COME OUT RIGHT NOW, KISS YOUR WIFE GOODBYE' or something*
Kagome: Seriously what happened to my black thong damnit?!
Yash: *is hiding with said thong, doing god knows what with it*
Kagome: Just you wait, if I find you Yashie and my thong, you'll be a dead poochie... *smiles dangerously*
Sango: *passed out on the bed*
Miroku: *on the other bed watching TV*
Sango: *rolls off the bed onto the floor*
Kagome: Yaashieee! Come on I won't hurt you... I just wanna play a game! It's called Kagome slices Yashie in half! *brings out a chainsaw or other lawn tool and smiles sadistically*
Sango: *suddenly stands up wide eyed* SHE CALLED HIM YASHIE! FINALLY!
Miroku: Sango please go back to sleep...
Sango: *jumps on Miroku's bed next to him* only if I can sleep with you Roku!
Kagome: COME ON SPOT I JUST WANNA PLAY FETCH! BUT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BRING THE THROWN ITEM BACK SILLY PUPPY!
Miroku: uhh... Sango I think you-
Sango: *is already asleep against his shoulder*
Kagome: Just ignore her, I drugged her Vodka so she would stop trying to steal my spotlight, also I was just tired of ruining all my vases on her head...
Miroku: Kagome I think I saw Yasha outside bathing in the fountain or something... and he had your thong!
Kagome: Ohhhhh Yashieeeeee! GET IN HERE YOU LITTLE MUTT! I'LL SKIN YOU ALIVE AND FEED YOU YOUR OWN SWORD...AND I DONT MEAN THE FANG TETSUSAIGA!
Child: Mommy, why is the yelling lady naked?
Woman: INDECENCY!
Miroku: Kagz you're gonna wake Sango
Kagome: *grins savagely* Oh I found something that'll bring him home...
Miroku: *sigh* if Sango wakes up you know she'll kill you
Kagome: *presses a button, and a scream emits from ten miles away*
Sango: KAGOME IF YOU DONT SHUT UP RIGHT NOW I WILL STAB YOU AND YOUR YASHIE AND FEED YOU TO KIRARA BECAUSE CATS WILL EAT ANYTHING EVEN SHIT LIKE YOU
Miroku: Sango please calm down...
Yash: *stumbles in, growling, and had sparks flying off him* DAMNIT KAGOME THIS IS WORSE THAN A SIT
Kagome: *chucks another vase at Sango's head* Go to sleep then!
Sango: *blocks it* GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY HOTEL ROOM
Kagome: WE SHARE THE SAME FUCKING ROOM GOD DAMNIT I'M TAKING A FUCKING SHOWER IF ONE MORE PERSON SPEAKS I WILL SHOVE A KNIFE THROUGH YOUR EYE AND MAKE IT COME OUT YOUR DICK! *slams bathroom door loudly, and can be heard growling every cuss word in the dictionary and a few new ones as well*
Sango: IF YOURE GONNA KEEP YELLING LIKE THAT THEN ID RATHER SHARE A ROOM WITH MIROKU AT LEAST HES TRYIN TO LET ME SLEEP
-Two Hours Later-
Yash: Where's Kagome?
Miroku: Didn't she take a shower?
Yash: Yeah but it doesn't take two fucking hours to shower, she ain't a ogre...
Sango: maybe she's bent over a table somewhere *shrugs*
Miroku: Sango please stop drinking...
Yash: *breaks lock on door, and sees a note on the toilet seat, and the bathroom window is open*
Yash: Look at this, ' To my mate, my perverted almost brother, and pissy sister, FUCK ALL OF YOU! I'M DONE DAMNIT, FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO SCREAM AT, AND GO SHOVE THIS DILDO UP YOUR ASSES, or in Sango's case, UP YOUR PUSSY! I'm a Lone Ranger now, so fuck you all!
Sango: wow she really is drunk
Miroku: should we be worried about this..?
Yash: ' Adios mother fuckers! Hate, Kagome
Sango: you should go find her Yashie; our plane leaves tomorrow morning
Yash: THAT'S ALL YOU'RE FUCKING WORRIED ABOUT?!
Sango: plus she's the only one willing to fuck you
Yash: YOUR ESSENTIAL SISTER JUST WENT ROGUE DAMNIT AND WE HAVE NO TRACE! We need Rin!
Rin: Someone call?
Sango: IF YOU BRING RIN TO VEGAS I- oh hi Rin...
Fluffy: Why am I even here...?
Yash: She's the only source we have! Rin, where would Kagome go if she went rogue?
Rin: Somewhere with alcohol, candy, and probably naked dudes...
Sango: so... the casino
Rin: It could be ANY casino
Sango: damn; we'd better split up... ILL GO WITH ROKY!
Miroku: if this is some tactic to try and fuck me then it isn't gonna work as long as you're drunk
Rin: Really this again? Now I REALLY need to know what **** means!
Miroku: yeah I agree we should probably split up but in groups so no one gets lost... I'll go with Sango and the three of you go together
Sango: YAY!
Miroku: IM NOT GONNA SLEEP WITH YOU [TONIGHT]
Rin: I'll go with Yashie and Fluffy
-everyone split up-
-Three Hours Later- Kagome: Yeah! Keep it coming!
Narrator: The men around her groaned and removed their pants leaving them in their underwear. Currently, Kagome was kicking major ass in a game of poker.
Sango and Miroku: *in some random casino with Sango dragging Miroku around to a point were he can barely keep up*
Kagome: I BEAT YOUR SORRY ASSES FAIR AND SQUARE SO COUGH IT OVER!
Kagome: I BEAT YOUR SORRY ASSES FAIR AND SQUARE SO COUGH IT OVER!
Men: *grudginly hand her $20,000 and three stacks of alcohol*
Inuyasha: Kagome is that you?!
Kagome: Hmm? Thought I heard a dog barking... Oh well, they'll get the point I don't wanna play...
Inuyasha: *runs up to her* Kagome what the hell are you doing?!
Kagome: Stupid flies... I'm not a peice of rotting flesh...
Sango: ROKU LOOK WE CAN GET A FREE HOTEL ROOM IF WE GET MARRIED
Miroku: what the hell are you talking about?!
Kagome: The loud bitch is tellin the truth
Miroku: Kagome is that you?!
Sango: Rokuuuu I wanna get married!
Kagome: Here *hands Sango a real long white dress and chucks a suit at Roku* Get married bitches, and get me a room will ya? I'm trashed
Miroku: guys we have a room at the other casino already!
Kagome: I dun give a flying fuck you perverted older brother, GET FUCKING MARRIED BEFORE I FUCKING GO ROGUE AGAIN
Miroku: *sigh* I'll get some rooms...
Sango: YAY! *throws confetti everywhere*
Inuyasha: wait where are Rin and Sesshomaru..?
Rin: ALRIGHT COUGH EM OVER BITCHES!
Sesshomaru: Rin why are you playing poker?
Rin: CAUSE I CAN DAMNIT
Miroku: *comes back with Sango clinging to him* I got us two rooms... I'm gonna try and get Sango to go to sleep
Kagome: try this... *hands him a bottle filled with purple liquid*
Miroku: I don't think I can trust you when you're drunk...
Sango: *chugs the liquid and nothing happens*
...
AWKWARD PAUSE
UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE
GRANDPA ATE A WALLET
GRANDMA ATE A WALLET
Miroku: you just got her more drunk!
Kagone: *looks at bottle* Shit... Whoops sorry Roky-Myster... I had the wrong bottle... *chucks a different bottle with red liquid at Sango's head and she passes out*
Miroku: *picks her up bridal style* well I'm taking her upstairs
Kagome: Good luck, by the way, when she wakes up, she'll think she's an army general and you're a rookie she has to train for combat...
Miroku: great... *leaves before anything else can happen*
Kagome: SORRY ROKU
Kagome:... Well now I wanna go home...
Inuyasha: the plane doesn't leave until tomorrow
Kagome: *growls* Rin, the laptop please?
Rin: Here
Kags: Thanks. *hits random buttons and it starts raining candy chocolate anime, an anvil, a TV, a curling iron,
-sometime later-
Kagome: Sango? I made you guys a congrats breakfast...
Sango: congrats for what?! It's like midnight Kagome
Kagome: *cocks head to side* Don't you remember? Jeez I'd think that you'd remember your own-mfmhnmfnhmfm! *Miroku had his hand clasped firmly over her mouth*
Kagome: *glares.* mfmhnmfnhmfm mhmfm mhmfm h f mmhmgmgmhngnfn!
Sango: what?!
Miroku: I think Kagome is still drunk...
Sango: if you don't move your hand she will bite you and you will not like it
Kagome: *bites hand*
Miroku: ow! I forgot you were half dog...
Kagome: Fucking asshole
Sango: so what are you talking about? What happened that I don't remember?
Kagome: I just wanna fucking forget what happened here! Well... Except for my kick ass poker skills... *grins and displays Vodka and her money*
Sango: Miroku tell me what happened or I will never fuck you. EVER
Miroku: I can't tell you!
Kagome: OH MY GOD! YOU MARRIED HIM AND ALSO GOT US A FREE FUCKING ROOM, NOW SHUT UP
Sango: WHAT did I do?! WE GOT MARRIED?!
Miroku: well- it- no, I- it was your idea!
Kagome: Sango blame it on me, I got you drunk and I honestly just don't fucking care anymore
Miroku: Kagome practically forced on us a wedding dress and a tux and-
Sango: A WEDDING DRESS?! Well what does it look like; SHOW ME!
Kagome: You're still wearing it
Sango: *looks down* OMIGOD IM GORGEOUS! MIROKU LOOK AT ME IM A FUCKING GODDESS
Miroku: *mutters* yeah I noticed that about twenty years ago...
Kagome: Dude, it was three years ago...
Miroku: well she's the girl of my dreams
Sango: Wait a second; we only got married, right? We didn't do anything else?
Miroku: no you passed out afterwards... That's why you're still in your dress...
Kagome: An I was hoping for little pervs hefting a huge ass boomerang with an 'I will kill you' aura
Sango: Well yeah I'm upset BUT HOW CAN I BE UPSET?! I mean who else was I supposed to marry; Kuranosuke?
Kagome: Well didn't he propose to you once?
Sango: he did? I can't remember anything right now it's like midnight...
Kagome: Yeah he did, and you slammed the door in his snotty nosed face...
Miroku: when did Kuranosuke propose to you?!
Sango: ... LOOK AT THIS DRESS !
Kagome: I had broken in your house to eat some of the chocolate cake you had and I heard it...
Kagome: Two and a half years ago... He once spilled hot tea on himself
Miroku: why didn't I know about this?!
Sango: Dude I had just met you
Kagome: In her defense I called him a stalker and chucked a hammer at his face... He knew her back when she was ten...
Miroku: geez you've known him a lot longer than me...
Sango: are you seriously getting jealous?! We just got MARRIED. MARRIED. THATS, LIKE, FOREVER. AND IM NOT EVEN MAD AT YOU!
Kagome: I'm getting you marriage counseling... And Mating counseling for Yash and I
Sango: WE DONT NEED MARRIAGE COUNSELING!
Miroku: what I-
Sango: *knocks him over and starts making out with him on the floor*
Kagome: And I'm called a closet masochist...
Sango: Miroku I think I need to puke...
Kag: Please, you had been begging Roku to fuck you, and first you wanted to do it on the bathroom floor!
Sango: *runs to the bathroom*
Miroku: well this was one hell of a trip...
Kag: You said it...
Sango: *comes back* I'm gonna go back to sleep; we can fuck in the morning
Kag: Let's never spea-*eyes go wide and she runs to the bathroom* CRAP MY HANGOVER CAUGHT UP WITH ME ALREADY
Miroku: what have a married into...
-in the actual morning-
Kag: *groans as Inuyasha presses a ice pack to her head*
Sango: *wont take off her wedding dress*
Miroku: so you want us to screw, but you refuse to take your clothes off?
Sango: it's just so pretty!
Kag: How about I take a picture of you in your dress then when we get back home you can bang the shit out of your new husband... *groans again* Owwwwww
Sango: I'm not drunk anymore and I don't appreciate your bluntness
Kagome: Sorry, I'll let you two be intimate after we get home, but stil first lemme get a picture in your pretty dress
Sango: are you telling me you didn't get any pictures of the actual wedding?!)!?
Kag: I WAS BUSY! *groans again* Owwwwwwww
Sango: well what were you doing?! Isn't my wedding day more important?!
Kag: Well... Technically I threw a bottle at you that should have made you sleep but I had the wrong one and it made you even drunker, so I threw another bottle but that was the right one and a lot of shit happened I dun wanna talk about it PLEASE! Owe
Sango: how do you remember weren't you drunk too?!
Kag: I've sort of grown a tolerance to booze
Kag: Fine wine however, is a different story
Miroku: then why the hell were you so dumb last night?!
Kag: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY PERVY PANTS?! *pauses for a minute* OWWWWWWWWWWWWW Yasha will you be a dear and get me A. Some Advil and B. lemme go back to sleep?
Sango: *takes like 500000 selfies in her dress*
Miroku: guys we have a plane to catch...
Kag: Oh yeah... *all packed up* LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, TOO MANY WEIRD THINGS HAPPEN HERE...
Miroku: wait where are Sesshomaru and Rin?!
Kagome: They already flew back to Fluffy's castle... Rin was screaming she would kill Jaken with my curling iron...
Miroku: well I guess we shouldn't worry about them. Except Jaken. But no one worries about Jaken...
Kagome: Like Naraku? I mean confused transvestite spider monkey who likes to steal other people's pizza
Sango: he's dead remember?! You left him in a heap on my bedroom floor!
Kag: I thought we swept him under the bed to be consumed by four year olds later...
Miroku: Sango I don't think that dress will be very comfortable on the plane...
Sango: I don't have any fucking clothes remember? All I have are Kagome's really small shorts and your purple hoodie!
Kag: Well I could have Rin import some clothes...
Sango: I'm ok I'll just wear this dress !
Kag: Why? Rin's a great seamstress
Miroku: guys the plane leaves in an hour. And Sango everyone is gonna think you're in drag. Please just put something on
Sango: gimme your sweatshirt
Miroku: *sigh* fine...
-after the plane ride-
Kagome: FINALLY! We're back bitches!
Sango: oh great now you all can trash my house all the time again
Yash: Umm... I'm gonna go in my tree... *jumps twenty feet into a high tree*
Sango: *opens the door to find a 17-year-old Shippo kissing Kirara* WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING
-TBC-