Like Knives

by Arith1234

Ellie and Joel come across an unlikely ally that neither wanted nor realized they needed.

20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: When the dam breaks.

'Intimacy is not just physical; it is the deep bond of knowing.'

Day Four

Rebecca and Ellie were standing in the kitchen when Joey walked downstairs. They both looked up at him in surprise. They left the his bedroom door unlocked. Sharon was comfortable with it. As long as he agreed to attend sessions with her. He begrudgingly agreed.

His one stipulation is that he didn't want to go into town for that. He wanted to keep his business back at the ranch. Sharon complied only under the strict condition he would be watched.

She left it up to Rebecca to do that. She kept an eye on him as much as she could, but there's only so much she can do. She had to trust him. The rest is up to him.

He was dressed in jeans and a dark blue denim shirt. The sleeves were rolled up and he was wearing his hat. She smiled softly at that. He was ready for the day and to work on the ranch.

She knew he could do it. As long as he focused on working with Sharon, he could beat this. He would beat this. He just had to take it one day at a time.

Ellie smirked as she looked up at him,'You finally got your shit together.'

His eyes flickered over at Rebecca and shrugged,'Something like that.' He gave her a curt nod,'Mornin.'

She gave him a small smile and nodded in return,'Good morning.'

She turned back to the stove to finish making breakfast. She didn't expect overt displays of affection. She was be expecting anything really.

There wasn't a repeat of what happened a few nights prior. It's been busy at the hospital and Tommy's been staying with him most of the time. They haven't had a moment alone together since.

She could feel his eyes boring into her back. She still remembered that night vividly. She ran every single detail through her mind over and over. It was etched deeply into her memories.

She laid in bed at night wide awake as she stared up into the ceiling. His hands stayed on her waist. He didn't let his hands roam anywhere else. She closed her eyes and could hear and feel his breath on her neck. The sounds he made when he groaned her name brokenly.

She wanted more of that. She wondered if he did too. Did he stay awake at night thinking about her? Did he wonder when he would have that again?

His face remained neutral as he sat down at the kitchen table, listening to Ellie prattle on. He seemed as if he didn't have a clue of what she was talking about, but he followed along as best he could.

Rebecca walked over to the kitchen to table to pour him some coffee. He kept his focus on Ellie, listening intently, but he placed his hand on the back of her thigh, muttering,'Thanks, darlin.'

Her eyes widened in surprise. If Ellie had seen it she didn't let on. Her stomach started doing flip flops. She sat across from him at the kitchen table, he leaned back in his chair as he sipped his coffee.

Rebecca pursed her lips. He was smooth. She had to give him that. He was hesitant to let the others know of their blossoming relationship. He's afraid it will make things difficult for her on Jackson. She didn't take stock into what others thought. People like to speak the most on things they don't understand.

He worried too much about what other people thought about him. Even though he played the tough act. He was just as insecure as anybody else.

Did he really mean what he said in his bed that night? Had it been just a ploy to get what he wanted. He didn't seem like the type to tell anybody what they wanted to hear.

Ellie finished her breakfast and went off to Lizzie's house. The girl spent more time at her girlfriends' than she did at home. Young love.

Rebecca was at the sink cleaning up. Her back was facing him as he finished his breakfast. She could feel his eyes on her and the creaking sound of the chair as he got out of it. The chair screeching against the old wooden floor startled her.

She heard his heavy footfalls, his boots clanking against the wood. She could feel the heat of him as he leaned over her. His breath was hot and heavy against her neck. Just like that night.

She tried to focus on cleaning the dishes, but he caged her in. With any other man she would've flinched or tried to flee. Not Joel. Never with Joel. She was safe from harm. Physically anyway.

He placed his plate in the sink. She gasped slightly as he pressed his crotch against her backside. Her eyelids fluttered shut. She could feel him half erect even through the thick material of his jeans.

He nuzzled against the back of her neck. The rough whiskers of his mustache tickling her skin. His arms and legs pinned her in. His hands lay flat against the counter. He gave her enough room in case she wanted to back out, but she didn't.

She pushed back against him and bit her bottom lip. He muttered a 'Jesus Christ' under his breath. She grinned at that. She still relished in knowing she could make such a strong willed man moan like that. She wondered what he would be like when he fully gave himself over, physically and emotionally. She wondered if anyone's gotten all of him.

They didn't seem to stay around long enough to figure it out.

Joel hummed softly and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. He kissed the back of her neck and nuzzled against her skin. He seemed to like doing that. Smelling her. She thought it was weird at first, but she's come to realize Joel is w sensory kind of man. He judges people by their actions rather than words. It wasn't what he said, but the things he did that spoke volumes to her.

'I was beginning to think ya forgot about me, honey girl.' He pressed open mouthed kisses along the back of her neck, gently pressing her into the counter.

She closed her eyes and placed her hands over his that were resting over her stomach,'Not forgot. Just busy.' She looked back at him over her shoulder and smirked,'You miss me?'

He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers, definitively answering her question. He cupped her cheek as he deepened the kiss. He reluctantly pulled away from her and licked the taste of her off his lips,'I need to start working on the ranch. I've been neglecting it. I need to keep busy.'

She nodded and sighed,'I need to get to work too. I'm working a double.'

'I'll walk you home tonight.' He offered readily and shrugged.'It's too late for you to walk alone.'

She smirked and shook her head,'Sure it is.'

He reluctantly let go of her. He looked down at her and sighed. It seemed like they rarely got any alone time together. They were fleeting and far between. He strived to become better. He needed to do better. She made him want to become a better man.

She leaned up and held his cheek, kissing him on the other cheek,'I'll see you tonight.'

He nodded silently as she placed the dish rag onto the counter and walked away. He looked around the empty kitchen and put his hands on his hips, sighing to himself.

One day at a time.

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Rebecca's nerves had been jittery all day. She made a silent vow to herself as she rode off his ranch earlier. She would start becoming more explicit in her intentions when it came to him. He was far from stupid, but he didn't like to elaborate on what he said. He didn't like to be told things in a roundabout way. He was straight forward and to the point.

His love language appeared to be touch as well. If what transpired between them earlier in the kitchen wasn't an example.

She knew he wanted her. She wanted him too. They were taking things slow. They were recovering from their own issues, but they met in the middle and supported each other through them. They weren't trying to fix each other. They were just trying to find a new normal together.

She walked out of the hospital a little past midnight. She smiled softly when she saw Joel leaning against the light post. The moon shone down on him like some fucking ethereal God of the Cowboys. She was being sarcastic, but she knew Ellie would laugh at the joke inside her head.

He stood up straight when he saw her. He looked better than she's ever seen him. His eyes were brighter. He had more life inside of his eyes. He looked younger too. More vivacious. He was starting to see his purpose in life.

'Well. Aren't you a sight for sore eyes.' She smirked. It was something he always said whenever he saw her.

He cracked a smile. One that reached all the way to his eyes.'Ain't no one said that to me. Ever.'

She laughed as she hooked her arm into his,'I think you are, ya know.' She raised her eyes to look up at him,'A sight for sore eyes.' She shrugged as she looked away, feeling embarrassed.

He grinned, feeling his chest swell with pride at her words. He never really cared about his looks or what people thought about it. He saw his body as a tool and nothing more. Even with sex. He used it as a gratification. Even in relationships. He never equated sex and intimacy.

By taking his time with Becca, he was beginning to appreciate getting to know someone inside and out. Fuck, he came harder with her grinding fully clothed in his lap than he ever did balls deep inside a woman. That had to count for something.

He pressed his shoulder against hers, needing to feel close to her.'How was work?'

'Quiet today.' She sighed,'Thank God. It's been a rough couple of weeks. How was your session with Sharon?'

'Good.' He shrugged,'The group therapy's been helping.' He snorted,'I never thought I would do shit like this.'

'What?' She laughed,'Be social?'

He narrowed his eyes and became silent. He was lost in his head. She's become accustomed to him doing that.

'Normal.' He stated simply,'Sober. This has been the longest I've been sober since Sarah died, Becca. My head is clearer. I still want to use, but the urges are going away day after day. I…I see things clearer now.'

They stood in front of her building and she leaned up, stroking his cheek,'I'm so happy for you, Joel. I'm proud of you. I knew you could fucking do it.'

He had a serious look on his face as he stared hard at her. He stood there, looking up at the building and then back at her. He stood there as if he were waiting for something.

She cocked her head to the side,'What?'

'Aren't ya gonna ask me upstairs?'

'You want me to ask you to come upstairs?' She sighed exasperatingly,'I always asked before and you always said no.' She shrugged,'So I stopped asking.'

'Ask me again.' His tone was gentle yet commanding.

She crossed her arms over chest and rolled her eyes,'Joel, do you want to come upstairs?'

He smirked and nodded,'I thought you'd never ask.'

She laughed and shook her head. This is the Joel she missed. He was sarcastic with a dry sense of humor.

He followed her up the stairs. She didn't flinch when he placed his hand on her lower back. She reveled in the contact. She leaned back into his touch. Just because they weren't going to fuck didn't mean they couldn't enjoy each other. They were too damned old to play games.

They reached her floor and she unlocked the door. She walked in first and lit the oil lamp in her living room, enveloping it in an amber glow. The flowered wallpaper was dated and peeling in some places, but it held a simple lived in feel. A burgundy couch with a colorful afghan blanket was draped over it. It looked handmade.

He smiled when he saw the coffee table in her living room. He had Tommy bring it to her place. It was a birthday gift from him. He played it off as being practical, but he worked on it day and night for her. It was her most cherished possession. She loved it.

He smiled as he saw Ellie's drawings adorning the walls. It smelled just like her. He felt calm here. Surrounded by her.

He placed his hands on his hips as he looked everywhere but at her,'It looks different then when ya first got here.' He laughed,'Seems like yesterday you were crying your eyes out for a fucking week.'

'How do you know that?' Her eyes widened in realization,'I never told you that.'

He placed a hand on his forehead and sighed.'No, you didn't.' He hugged and stared up at the ceiling. He knew this was going to bite him in the ass one day,'When you were…grieving. I made sure ya had food and shit. I checked and made sure you were alright.'

Tears filled her eyes at his admission and she shook her head confusingly,'Why did you do that? I thought you hated me back then.'

He laughed dryly and shook his head,'I ain't ever hated you, Becca. Not one damn fucking day. I hated myself. I'm working on that.' He ducked his head to meet her gaze, 'Underneath all what those fuckers did to you; I thought were the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Ain't nothing changed my mind about that.' He shook his head and sighed, whispering admittedly,'You scare the shit outta me sometimes.'

She was surprised to see tears in his eyes. He's only ever cried once around her before. By admitting he looked out for her; she knew he cared about him. This was worth fighting for. He was worth it.

She smiled tearfully and leaned up, kissing his lips softly. She nuzzled her nose against his, whispering.'You look good sober by the way. You look good all the time, but I like seeing your eyes. For the record? When you didn't leave me in the snow to die, I knew you were someone who was going to have a profound effect on my life.'

He opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn't form the words to speak. What do you say to something like that? All he could do was stay sober and do things right this time around. He was given a second chance. This is the last chance he'll ever be given.

She pulled away from him and nodded towards the couch,'Make yourself comfortable while I'll get changed.'

He nodded as he watched her disappear down the hallway. He muttered an obscenity under his breath. He didn't know why he invited himself up here. He was torturing himself. He jerked off to the images of her grinding into his lap over and over again. He thought he was overcome with lust, but he tried to think about another woman and he couldn't do it. He wanted her wild red hair, her smart mouth and the smell of flowers.

He wanted her.

He walked over to the couch and sat down. He pulled his shirt out of his pants and rolled his sleeves up past his elbows. He smoothed his wet hair back. The gray was getting worse at his temples, but he tried to ignore the nagging insecurity. He remembered how hard he made her come. She was so wet for him.

He sighed and closed his eyes momentarily. He washed up before coming here. He didn't know what he was expecting, but Tommy told him hygiene mattered. He wasn't living on the run anymore. He gave him oils and soaps Maria made for him. It was a some sandlewood shit. It smelled alright. He didn't know why it mattered.

Rebecca quickly washed up in the bathroom. She was grateful for shaving her legs the night before. They didn't have the best razors like before the outbreak, but she made do.

She rinsed out her mouth and brushed her hair out. She changed into a black tank top and a pair of black cotton underwear. He was a literal man. She would hit him where it hurts.

She didn't know what she was expecting. Maybe he needed to see for himself how much she trusted him. She could lay herself bare like this. She was comfortable with showing him her body. She chose him. She hoped he understood the significance of that.

She took a deep breath and walked out into the living room. He was sitting on the couch, his arm resting against the back of it. His other arm hung low. His hand resting on the inside of his thigh.

He didn't see her there at first. She took a moment to quietly study him. He was devastatingly handsome. Even if he didn't think so himself. The gray in his hair suited him, but in the glow of oil he looked years younger. He slouched back on the couch, his face relaxed. The lines and wrinkles on his face softened. He was the most handsome man she ever laid eyes on.

His devotion to the ones he cared about was the sexiest thing about him. He thought he was too old for her. She was considered old to Majorie, who was only twenty five years old.

All she saw when she looked at him was someone she wanted. The risk was worth the reward. They've done too far to turn back now. They would never be able to go back to being just friends after this and they both knew it.

They were all in.

She cleared her throat softly, announcing her presence and walked over to the couch.

He sat up on the couch, his hands gripping his knees. His eyes darkened as he took her in. His eyes raked slowly over her body, as is if he were drinking in. She never felt like this with a man before. He made her feel how much he wanted her. She felt beautiful. Cherished.

He licked his lips as his eyes trailed up her long legs. One day he would have those legs wrapped around his waist as he pounded her into the matter. He would settle for touching them. He would take whatever she was willing to give.

She got closer to him and he spread his legs, letting her stand in between them. He placed his arm on the back of the couch and leaned back to give her some space.

She couldn't help but look down. She saw him swipe his thumb over his erection in attempt to reliever himself. She didn't know why she found that so hot.

She confidently sat on his lap. She looked over his face, gauging his reaction. His eyes widened in surprise before he quickly recovered.

He slowly closed his legs, leaning back to led her get settled. She hissed as her bare legs hit the roughness of his denim. She could see the outline of his heavy and thick cock protruding through his jeans. He was fully erect.

She chewed on her bottom lip as she began unbuckling his belt. He placed his hands on hers and shook his head,'I didn't come up here for that.'

'I know you didn't.' She continued to unbuckle his belt as she kept her eyes on his,'Have you ever stopped to think the world doesn't revolve around you? Maybe this is for me too.'

He stared down at her curiously as she unzipped and unbuttoned his jeans. He does his hips up as she pulled them down to his ankles. He was grateful he took his boots off before he came in. It was a habit his ma got him into. She always made everyone take off their shoes before they came into her house.

He kicked his jeans off onto the floor, leaving him in only his boxers and flannel. He didn't know how far she wanted this to go. He would take whatever she wanted to give him.

She tried to open up his shirt, but he gently grasped her hands and pulled her against him. She knew he was self conscious about showing his scars, but she had seen them. It didn't make her want him any less, but she wouldn't force him. She would wait until he was ready.

She shivered as he ran his calloused hands up and down her bare thighs. She squirmed in his lap as his fingertips skimmed over her ass cheeks peeking out from under her panties.

He nuzzled his nose into her neck as his hands rubbed her bare thighs,'Skin's so fucking smooth, darlin.' She gasped softly he gently nipped at her skin,'Wanna get ya off again. I want to hear you scream my name this time. Ain't no one to hear us that gives a damn about what we're doing.'

She nodded as she held his face in her hands. She pulled his head to hers and kissed him hungrily. They groaned into each others mouths as they licked, sucked and nipped at each other.

The tension needed to be released again. Is this all they've became? Stolen moments in the dark. Too afraid to say what they truly wanted in the harsh cold light of day?

'Touch me.' She whispered against his lips,'No one's here but you and me.'

He didn't like the way she phrased that. Did she think he didn't want anyone else to know about them? He was sure Ellie and Tommy knew. Maria certainly did. Or was she ashamed of him? That would be the logical explanation.

He pushed those thoughts out of his mind. He had her now. It's all that mattered. He slid his hands down the front of her panties. He could feel a small thatch of hair. He swiped his index finger over slit and groaned into her mouth. She was soaked. She would be so tight too. His cock ached just thinking about it. He was already leaking precum.

He promised himself his cock would be the first thing inside her pussy. He slid his hand out of her panties and tugged on the edge of her tank top,'Do you want to take this off for me?'

She smirked and shook her head,'I never thought you'd ask.'

He licked the musky taste of her off his fingers and moaned softly. He couldn't wait to eat her out one day. He wanted the taste of her in his mouth as he cock was buried deep inside her.

He laughed as she pulled off the tank top. His eyes followed her movements. He watched as her tits were exposed to him for the first time. He leaned back, taking a moment to appreciate the beauty of her.

Her tits were full with darkened nipples. Her entire body was flushed from the heat and their kisses. He watched the slight bounce to them as her chest heaved.

He shook his head in disbelief as tears filled his eyes. He was grateful he was sober. He wanted to remember this moment.

If anyone should ask, this is the moment he fell completely in love with her. Not because she let him see her tits (which are fantastic). She trusted him enough to let him see her body. Even after everything men had done to her. She chose him.

He took a deep breath and started pooping the buttons of his flannel. He slowly pulled it open, revealing his scars to her. She didn't flinch or move away in disgust. She tentatively placed her hand along the incision scar. He hissed slightly as her fingertips ghosted over the tender skin.

She leaned down and pressed a kiss to the scar, whispering,'I like them all because it shows you survived, Joel.' She stared up at him, her red hair framing her face like a halo of fire, 'So we could be here together, like this.'

She trailed her hands down to his lower abdomen. His abdominal muscles clenched as she trailed her fingertips over the curves and indentures. He had a magnificent body. A fighter and worker's body. He wasn't overly fit, but his body was solid and strong. She loved the strength of his arms as he wrapped them tightly around her.

His large hands slid up her rib cage and underneath her tits. He cupped them in his hands, marveling at the weight of them. He wanted to watch them bouncing as she rode him.

His swiped his thumbs across her taunt and perky nipples, making her gasp. Her tits seemed the most sensitive during intimacy. He would catalog that in the back of his mind.

He looked up and met her gaze, whispering,'Can I put my mouth on them?'

Joel couldn't believe himself. He's never had to ask a woman if he could suck on her tits before. They were usually all for it.

'Yes.' She whispered breathlessly as she cupped the back of his head, tangling her fingers in his hair,'Please.'

Her pleading tone did him in. He bent his head down and he flicked his tongue against her right nipple. His other hand was gently twisting her other nipple. He started sucking on it and gently bit it, soothing the sting with his tongue. She seemed to like that the most.

He alternated back and forth between each one as she squirmed in his lap.

Rebecca was gently tugging on his hair as she ground herself in his lap. She cradled the back of his head as he sucked and bit on her chest. His facial hair rubbed harshly against her skin. She would have marks in the morning, but she didn't care. She couldn't remember a time she's ever felt this good.

She pulled his head up to hers and kissed him hungrily. His eyes widened as she started riding his erection over his boxers. She rested her forehead against his and cradled his face in her hands as she moved up and down onto his crotch.

He cupped her ass he helped them both along. They were both sweating as they panted harshly. He was leaking through his boxers. He knew she felt it. He wanted her too. Just like he could feel the wetness of her pussy. He felt how wet she was for him.

His eyes rolled in pleasure just thinking about it.

He winced and his jaw slacked in pleasure as he watched her tits bouncing with her movements. He moaned and panted with exertion. They were so wet it felt like nothing was between them.

He looked over her face. It was scrunched in pleasure. Her hair sticking to her sweaty face. Her cheeks were red with exertion. She was flushed all the way down to her chest. She was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. All wild and wet like this for him. Only him.

He cupped the back of her neck with his other hand, gently taking a fistful of her hair. He kissed her deeply as she nicked into his lap. She was so close.

He gently tugged on her hair and his cock twitched as she moaned into his mouth. She liked that. Duly noted.

He slouched back on the couch, letting her get off on his cock. Their sweat slicked foreheads stuck together as she rode him over his boxers. His one hand was placed firmly on her hip, keeping her movements steady.

'Fuck, Joel.' She gasped out against his lips,'I'm so close.'

He smirked as he flicked his tongue against the seam of her lips,'I bet you are.'

She slid her hand down to brush against his cock and his head dropped back against the couch. His eyes rolled in pleasure as she did it again. He clenched his eyes shut, wincing as if in pain, but she knew it was pleasure.

Rebecca moved up and down, pressing against his erection firmly. She kept her forehead pressed against his as their breaths intermingled. Her hands never left his face.

'That's it, honey girl.' He groaned as her tits brushed against his chest,'Come on my cock. I wanna feel it.'

He kissed her feverishly as she came. She clutched at his face, whimpering against his lips as she came. He placed his hands on her hips, anchoring her as she trembled. She moaned his name raggedly at that was all it took. He came in his pants like a horny teenager.

She slumped against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. He ran his hand through his hair and closed his eyes. He could have this small contentment in his life.

'Ellie's staying over Lizzie's house.' She looked up at him,'You can stay the night. There's been plenty of nights you let me crash on your couch.'

He smirked and kissed the top of her head,'I'll take the couch.'

'Good.' She nodded and smiled softly,'We might actually get some sleep.'

He rested his head back against the couch. This was a start. A new beginning as Sharon would say. He was getting out of his comfort zone. A year ago, he never imagined he would be doing anything like this.

She rolled her eyes at the serious look on his face,'Joel Miller. Always so serious.'

She shook her head and laughed. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were bright. She looked happy. It made him proud knowing he could make someone happy.

Day Five

Joel could feel the eyes on him as he walked out of her building nearing nine in the morning. He knew what they assumed, but they never went farther than heavy petting. She went to bed alone. He slept on the couch. Hs wasn't comfortable sharing a bed with anyone. Not even with Tess. He would always keep his back facing her when she climbed into bed with him.

He didn't trust himself. The nightmares made him lose focus. He lost control.

He kept his head down as he headed back to the ranch on foot. He could still smell her on his skin and taste her in his mouth. He craved her already. This is why he didn't get involved. It got too messy and complicated. He was in too deep to turn back now. She would never forgive him. He would never forgive himself.

He hoped the townsfolk wouldn't give her shit about being with him. He didn't know if they were together. They never talked about it. It was a delicate subject.

He thought of her as his woman, but she didn't want to belong to another man. If he weren't the only one, he would have difficulty rectifying that in his mind. He didn't share his women. Did she mean everything she said to him? Was she placating an old man?

He shook his head, ridding his mind of weakened notions. His insecurities were the catalyst of his using. At least that's what Sharon and every other ex addict he spoke to said anyway.

All he could do is hope for the best. He needed to trust the process and have faith in her. He didn't like putting too much stock into people, but she's proven time and time again that she can be trusted.

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Becca was headed to the hospital. She had a smile on her face. She felt almost giddy. She replayed the previous night over and over again in her mind. Even now she felt herself getting flushed, thinking about the way he touched her and the things he said.

He was a passionate man. He wasn't selfish. She's never been with a man that cared about her pleasure before his own. This must feel like being with a real man feels like.

She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw her. Majorie. The woman kept a low profile the last few days. She probably caught wind of Joel trying to get clean. Word travels in a small town like this one.

Becca couldn't stop herself from walking over to her. She was blinded with rage. This woman had been a thorn in her side ever since she came here. She was so angry she couldn't see straight.

Majorie smirked when she saw Becca walking over to her. She crossed her arms over her chest as she mass her way over towards her. This should be good.

'Well well well. Look who it is. Little Miss Goody Two Shoes.' Majorie grinned,'Nice to see your daddy gave you permission to leave the house.'

Becca narrowed her eyes at the younger woman. She gritted her teeth as she pushed her, making her stumble backwards into the ground. She looked down at the woman as Majorie stared up at her in shock.

'How fucking dare you!' She pointed her finger at her,'You can't play games with peoples' lives.'

Majorie pulled herself up from the ground. People were already starting to pay attention. A small crowd was starting to gather around them. No doubt wanting to get the latest gossip.

Majorie pushed her back, but Becca didn't move an inch. She was glued to her spot. She felt overcome with so much anger.

Every time she looked at her she thought about Joel being buried deep inside her. His body pressed up against hers while she moaned in pleasure. She was jealous. There wasn't any other way to put it. Her issues went far deeper than giving Joel drugs.

Majorie shook her head and laughed,'I can do what I want and who I want.' She scoffed,'Joel's a grown man who can do what he wants. Don't blame me if your man keeps coming to me. That's on you. Not me. He must want something you're not giving him.' She smirked as she leaned in close to her.'Is God's perfect little lamb not satisfying her headship? How does it feel? To go from being a preacher's wife, to the Firefly's whore? It's no wonder why he's ashamed to be seen with you. I would be too.'

She felt something break loose inside her, like a dam that's been closed off for far too long. She lunged at her, punching her square in the face. Her fist collided with her nose, busting it opened. She fell backwards down onto the ground. She should've stayed down.

As she watched Majorie holding her bloodied nose and screaming out in pain; a small smile formed on her face. She was grateful for Joel's boxing lessons. She was also grateful for her restraint as well.

She felt the townfolks' eyes on her. She was giving them more fuel to add to the fire. She was shaking with rage. She wanted to punch her again, but she took a step back. She didn't want to kill her. She just wanted her to hurt. Maybe then would she thinking about running her mouth.

The sheriff pushed his way through the group. He looked down at Marjorie laying on the ground, wailing out in pain.

The sheriff shook his head and sighed, looking up at Becca. He didn't blame her for hitting the girl. She's been a troublemaker ever since she got here, but he needed to do his job. People can't just run rampant. That's how dissonance begins. There needed to be law and order.

Becca sighed as she saw Sheriff Bannon. Or Richard as she knew him by. She helped delivered his wife's baby. He was a good man.

'I gotta do this.' He shrugged as he whispered so only she could hear.'I'll see what I can do.'

'It's okay.' She shook her head,'I figured I would get arrested.' She watched as Majorie was helped off the ground,'I would do it again if given the chance.' She sneered at her disgustedly,' I would check her rooms. She's been selling drugs to people.

Sheriff Bannon shook his head as one of his men cuffed her,'I'll be sure to take care of that too.'

The young and overzealous officer jerked her arms behind her back and cuffed her wrists tightly.

She could see Ellie in the crowd. She pushed her way through everyone and ran over to Becca,'What happened?' She looked over at Marjorie and her eyes widened,'Fuck, I missed it?' She frowned,'I've been waiting to see her get her ass kicked and I miss it.'

Becca laughed slightly and leaned down, whispering to her,'Tell Joel what happened before someone else tells him.'

Ellie nodded as she hugged her quickly. She frowned when she saw Tommy riding his horse towards Joel's house. She rolled her eyes and sighed. Of course he would get there first. He was like a nosy old lady sometimes.

Joel was working on the barn when he saw Tommy riding his horse to him like a bat out of hell.

He wondered what the hell was going on. His brother looked frazzled. It got the wheels turning in his head. Were the Fireflies here to finish the job and take Ellie back?

He sighed in relief when he saw Ellie trailing close behind him.

Tommy halted his horse. The horse dug it's hooves into the dirt as he pulled on the reins.

'Becca's been arrested.' Tommy shook his head,'She punched Marjorie in the face.'

Joel's eyes widened as he went to grab Dusty out of the barn,'They arrested her for that?'

Ellie was out of breath as she ran up to Joel. She was catching her breath, but her eyes were wide and frantic,'I saw the entire thing. All Becca did was go up to her and tell her it was wrong for what she did. Majorie started saying some fucked up shit to her. Becca shoved her and then Majorie shoved her back. She said really mean things to her, Joel. She called her a whore and made some remarks about…David.'

Joel narrowed his eyes. He was against hitting women, but he wanted to strangle every last breath out of her. Becca had made a lot of strides in overcoming what David's brainwashing cannibalistic religious cult did to her. She put a lot of work into reversing what he's done to her. She started to become comfortable with her body and sexuality as a woman.

The events from the previous night before still made his blood run hot whenever he thought about it. He would kill Majorie himself if she took that confidence she showed him last night. He didn't want to lose that woman.

'Richard didn't have a choice, but Sharon is gonna talk some sense into him. Some people are town are…worried.' Tommy shook his head,'We don't condone violence.'

Joel glared up at him as he saddled Dusty,'I'm sure that bitch gave her a good reason.'

Tommy eased his horse and held up his hands defensively,'We know that. So does Richard, but he has to follow procedures.'

Joel helped Ellie onto Dusty while he hopped on to sit in front of her.

He looked over at Tommy and shook his head,'What they gonna do? Hang her for punching a cunt in the face?'

'No.' Tommy shook his head and sighed,'Even I agree she had what's coming to her.' He averted his eyes downward,'They might ask her to leave town.'

Joel felt like the wind was knocked out of him. No way. He wouldn't allow that to happen. He would confess to every thing he's done while he was here. He refused to let that happen. Over his dead body. He would leave with her if that's the case. He hated putting Ellie in that position, but he would understand if she wanted to stay. He didn't want to lose either one of them. She didn't do anything he wouldn't have done.

Tommy looked over at him and frowned,'I don't think Sharon or Maria would let that happen.'

'It's not.' Joel glanced over at him and stared into town,'Ain't nobody forcing her to do anything. They'll hang me before I let that fucking happen.'

As Tommy watched Joel ride with a chest full of fury into town. He believed him.

He shook his head as he pulled hard onto the reins of his horse to catch up with joel. He felt an odd sense of deja vu, but the roles were reversed. He could understand why Joel was angry though. He would do the same for Maria.

Tommy laughed to himself. His older brother was in deep. He just didn't want to admit it to himself yet.

Becca looked up at the clock hanging on the wall. She's only been in here for an hour, but it felt like an eternity. The jailhouse was hot and smelled musty. The jail cell was small, leaving room for only a tiny cot and bucket to use the bathroom.

She sat on the cot with her back against the wall and her legs draped over it. There was a guard sitting at a desk watching her carefully. Not that she was going to do anything.

She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. She should be at work right now. Sharon assured her she wouldn't be losing her job. She couldn't afford to lose one of her best nurses. She was thankful to have Sharon and Maria in her corner. She just hoped the rest of the town felt that way.

She didn't feel sorry for what she did. She meant what she had said. She would do it all over again if given the chance. Marjorie got what was coming to her. She only wished she could've done more.

All of the sudden the door swung opened. Her head snapped up and her eyes widened when she saw a very angry Joel stomping through the door. His eyes cut over to her for a split second. His eyes met hers and he had a stoic look on his face. She only detected one emotion from him in this moment. Anger.

She saw Ellie walking in with an exasperated looking Tommy. It was almost comical. Tommy didn't even try to calm him down. He was used to his brother's tantrums.

Joel turned to the guard, who was standing up behind his desk. He kept his hand on his gun. He already knew of Joel Millers's reputation. Word spread far and wide about this man. He had become almost a myth, but he was real and in the flesh. He was also very pissed.

'Let her the fuck out.' His voice was eerily calm but deadly,'Now.'

The guard frowned and shook his head,'I'm afraid I can't do that, sir. Not until the Sheriff says.'

Joel narrowed his eyes. He waited a couple beats before he slammed his hand so hard on the table it shook. The guard's eyes widened and he took a step back, slowly sliding the gun out of its holster.

'Now!' Joel screamed so loud the sounds echoed and reverberated off the hollowed out walls. No doubt people could hear him from outside.

Luckily, Sheriff Bannon walked into the jailhouse at the perfect time. He smiled uneasily at Joel,'I could hear your mouth a mile outside of town.'

Joel placed his hands flat against the desk. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.'I want my woman outta fucking jail right now. Before I end up in there with her.'

Becca's eyes widened at his words. His woman. He called her 'his woman'. He didn't say it as if she was his property. She didn't feel any possessiveness coming from him. He said it without thought. As if it were the most obvious thing in the world to him.

Tears filled her eyes. She should be focusing on other things right now, but she found this weirdly sweet of him. He came down here to fight for her. It warmed her heart seeing Sharon, Maria, Tommy, Ellie and Joel all come here to fight for her. All of the people she's come to truly love and care about. They saw her worth. They gave her something she hasn't had in a very long time.

Family.

Richard cautiously placed a hand on Joel's shoulder,'We searched Marjorie's room and found over twenty bags of illegal drugs. She wants to press charges on Miss Bennett, but I think she has bigger fish to fry.'

Joel jerked his shoulder out of grasp,'You gonna let her go or am I gonna have to get her out myself? She was only sticking up for herself.'

Richard shook his head and sighed,'I have the authority to keep her twenty four hours and then let her go on her own recognizance.'

Tommy and Joel shared a knowing look. They both knew all too well about due process. They've both had their fair share of trouble with the law growing up.

'So she stays here until tomorrow morning?' Tommy looked over at Becca,'Then it's over with?'

Becca sat and listened to them. She didn't like anyone making decisions for her. The men in her life always seemed to know what was best for her.

Ellie walked over to her cell and frowned.'I'm sorry you're in here.'

Becca looked over at her and smiled sadly,'Me too.'

She looked over at Joel, who was arguing with Richard about her staying overnight. Joel was screaming at Richard while Tommy stood in between them, trying to calm Joel down to no avail.

As Ellie stared at Becca, she couldn't help but think about the time they first met. She had been the one in a cell. She saved her life that day. She didn't deserve to be in here.

Ellie pursed her lips and nodded her head in determination. She walked over to Richard and tugged hard on his sleeve,'She punched Majorie for calling her a whore.'

Becca snorted and let out a dry laugh,'I didn't punch her for calling me a whore. I punched her for calling me a Firefly.' She crossed her arms over her chest,'Just to set the record straight.'

Joel smirked as he looked over at her. God, he wanted to kiss the fucking daylights out of her.

Becca got up from the cot and walked over to the bars of her cell,'I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.' She shrugged,'I'll do your twenty four hours in this cell. I've done much longer than that.'

She could blow him away without even trying. She was strong willed and defiant. Brutally honest in ways he could never be. She was so much more braver than he is.

Would he ever get the courage to tell her how much she truly meant to him?

Richard's shoulders slumped and he sighed in relief,'It's all you have to do. Just to get everyone off my back and yours.' He sighed,'Besides, I'm gonna need this cell for Majorie tomorrow morning.'

Richard averted his eyes between Joel and Becca,'I'll give you a few minutes.'

'I'm staying with her.' Joel narrowed his eyes up at Richard,'Theres a cell right next to hers.'

'I'm afraid that's outside of protocol.' The Sheriff frowned,'We might need it for someone.'

Joel sighed and looked over at Becca,'Who handcuffed you?' He nodded towards the guard,'This punk?'

Against her better judgment, she nodded slowly.

He smirked and turned back to the guard. He lifted up his arm and punched the guard in the face. His fell back onto the ground, feet toppled over his body. He was out cold.

Richard shook his head as he walked over to Beau, crouching down in front of him,'Jesus Christ.' He looked up at Joel and waved his hand over his deputy,'You just assaulted an officer?'

'You mean Roger?' Joel smirked,'Wasn't he a Plummer the other fucking week? You're getting desperate.'

Richard shook his head, knowing he was right. He could use men like Joel and Tommy, but men of the law made them uncomfortable. He wondered if something happened before the outbreak. There were a lot of unknowns about the Miller brothers.

'I'm gonna watch you both my damned self.' Richard sighed as Tommy helped carry Roger outside while a couple deputies took him to the hospital.

Becca couldn't contain her shock. Why would he do something like that? For her?

Joel was put in the holding cell next to Becca's. Ellie averted her eyes between the two and bit back a smile,'If anyone asks why I'm a lesbian. I'll tell them it's because my father figure showed me straight people do weird shit for the people they love.'

'Shut the fuck up.' Joel gritted his teeth as he nodded over at Tommy,'Get her outta here. Can she stay with you overnight?'

'Yeah.' Tommy shook his head and grinned.'And you said I was the crazy one.'

Tommy laughed as he glared over at him. Ellie said goodbye to Becca before they left. Richard took all his weapons and made sure he was locked in securely before heading outside for a smoke.

Joel stared down at the padlock. He could easily remove if it if he wanted to, but he relented. It would only cause more trouble for them if they escape. It's better to do their twenty four hours and move the hell past this.

He walked over to the cot and sat down, leaning his back against the wall.

She was silent for a while before she whispered,'Your woman, huh?'

He closed his eyes and smirked,'You think I would go through all this fuckin trouble for a piece of ass?'

She chuckled softly as she played with the thread on her jeans.'I didn't like what she implied Joel. She…she said you slept with her for drugs.' She shook her head,'I don't think you would do something like that.'

'I did when…when we weren't…doing anything yet.' He needed to be honest with her about the regressions of his past.

They would never grow together if he wasn't open with her. He trusted her. It was about time she knew that.

She let out a shuddering breath. She would've lie. It stung to hear. Sadly, she wasn't surprised. She assumed he did. She could be angry, but she chose her battles. Some things shouldn't require your energy.

She didn't respond back, but he continued anyway,'I stopped going to her the first night I walked you home from work.'

'Why did you stop?' She finally asked him.

He folded his hands in his lap and shrugged,'I didn't want…' He shook his head, biting back his groan of frustration. He hated this shit,'I didn't want to touch anyone else but you.'

She let out the breath she had been holding in. His gruff and hushed words sent delicious chills down her spine,'I was jealous.'

She let out a sign of relief.It felt good to finally be honest.

She whispered admittedly,'I was jealous that you were inside her.'

Now he was the one to be surprised by her admission. He felt all the blood rushing to his cock. He willed his erection away, gritting his teeth. She never spoke so boldly to him before. Usually he's the one with the filthy mouth. What brought on the sudden change? Is it because he called her his woman?

He didn't know why he said it. It's what he called her in his head. His woman. It felt natural to him as breathing. He didn't own her, but she belonged to him. He belonged to her.

'I wanted it to be you that night.' He whispered admittedly,'Seeing ya with that asshole fucked me up, honey girl. I didn't like it.'

'Why did you punch Roger for me?' She frowned,'You shouldn't have gotten yourself locked up.'

He shook his head and sighed,'I don't trust these shits to look after you.'

'I can take care of myself.' She rolled her eyes,'Nothing would happen to me.'

'I know that.' He was firm, but gentle. Always gentle,'Maybe I don't like the thought of…'

He trailed off and she wondered if he was going to finish his sentence. She waited but he never did. She leaned her head back against the wall. There it is. The moment he closes up again.

'Maybe I don't like the idea of another man cuffing ya up.' He smirked to himself,'Only man should be doing that is me.'

He heard her sharp intake of breath and smiled. He wondered if he came on too strong or being too intense. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable. He was trying to be playful with her and make the most out of a bed situation.

She admitted to being jealous of Marjorie. A small part of him enjoyed that. Immensely.

She let out a gasp and felt the heat rising in her cheeks. Even in a cell he could rattle her and make her forget where she is. He was showing her a side of himself she's never seen before. The playful, flirty and filthy side of him. It made her comfortable to share her desires with him.

Richard came in to keep watch over them. He sat down at his desk, opening up a book and putting his feet up. He had a large cup of coffee on the table. He had a long night ahead of him.

They were silent again for awhile. Richard had fallen asleep, his chin resting on his chest as he snored softly.

Becca pursed her lips as the sun set, darkening the room. The moonlight shone through the small window of her cell, but she still couldn't see her hand in front of her face.

She closed her eyes and sighed, resting her head back against the wall,'Are you awake?'

'No.' He whispered back to her.

She smirked and turned her cheek against the cool wall,'Are you gonna be alright with the withdrawals?'

He was silent a moment before he answered,'Yeah…I think I will be. You ain't going anywhere.'

She smiled softly, remembering when he told her she calmed him. He did the same for her too. He punched a deputy just to be locked up with her. In a post apocalyptic world; that was as romantic as it could get.

They were released as promised the following morning. Richard unlocked their cell doors at exactly six in the morning. Majorie was due to be here pretty soon. They didn't want them to cross paths. Becca was eager to know of her fate. Joel's lucky he didn't get caught buying drugs from her.

Only certain people knew of his secret. People he could trust. Herself, Tommy, Ellie and sharon. None of them were talking. They intended to keep it that way.

It was still dark when they stepped outside of the jailhouse. After spending hours in a musty jail cell, the morning summer air was crisp and refreshing.

Joel placed his hand on her lower back and nodded towards her building,'I'll walk ya home.'

She nodded and smiled softly,'Thanks.'

He surprised her by wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She wrapped her arm around his midsection as they walked back in silence to her building. She was exhausted, but she had work in a couple hours. She already missed a day. She didn't want the other overworked nurses taking on her slack. It wasn't fair to them.

She was lucky Sharon still wanted her around after what she did.

They stopped in front of her building. She turned to him and sighed,'Thanks again for getting attested with me.'

He smirked as he looked over her face,'Anytime, darlin.' He bit his bottom lip as he tucked her hair behind her ear.

She noticed he was staring at her mouth. She leaned up and kissed him. He cupped her chin as he deepened the kiss for a moment before pulling back.

He licked his lips quickly as reluctantly stepped away from her,'You should get some sleep before work.'

'Yes, dad.' She playfully rolled her eyes,'You should come over for dinner tonight.' She smirked,'You owe me a second date.'

His eyes looked over her face, returning her smirk,'I guess I do, huh? I think I owe ya hell of a lot more than that.'

She sighed as she fixed the collar of his shirt,'No one's taking score, Joel.' She slid her eyes up from his chest all the way up to his face.'We're only on second base.'

'What's third base?' She laughed as he watched her walk into her building.

She didn't answer him. He would figure it out on his own. She knew this was only the beginning. They had a rough long road ahead of them if they were going to try and make it work. They were both stubborn and hard headed. Passionate.

One day at a time.