Crazy Girls
Chapter 36: DO YOU WANNA BUILD A GOOD RELATIONSHIP
Miroku: LET IT GO! LET IT GO, CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE~!
Sango: Miroku if you're gonna sing Frozen can you at least try not to make it sound sexual it sounds like you're hurting yourself seriously
Miroku: DO YOU WANNA BUILD A SNOWMAN?!
Sango: DO YOU WANNA BUILD A GOOD RELATIONSHIP?!
Kagome: DO YOU WANNA HIDE A BODY?
Kagome: IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE IN ONE PIECE!
Kagome: We can hide it in the river!
Miroku: THIS GIRL IS ON FIREE~!
Shippo: *comes out of room back as a child rubbing eyes* wow that was the coolest dream! Can I have some candy Kagome?
Kag: You-you don't h-hate me?
Shippo: why would I hate you? I love you, Kagome!
Kagome: Well Kirara-*gets cut off by Yashie's hand over her mouth*
Yashie: Nevermind, she's been a bit...off today... And she fell down a rabbit hole
Kag: *picks up shotgun and glares at everyone* Touch my candy and you die
Sango: hey Miroku wanna watch a movie?
Miroku: how bout I take you out to dinner?
Sango: that might work...
Kag: There's this really weird restaurant that I went to once.. They said they wanted to show me how the food was made and when I went back something hit me in the head. When I woke up I was in Fiji with no money, and no panties...
Yashie: Do I even WANT to know
Sango: Yashie believe me YOU DONT
Miroku: we can go anywhere you want
Sango: can we... Go to a diner and get pancakes even though it's 7pm
Miroku: yeah okay sure
Sango: YAY!
MirSan: *leaves*
Kag: Well at least they didn't leave while I was ranting...
Yashie: *asleep watching the football channel*
Shippo: *drinking a smoothie*
-At The Diner-
Sango: *orders like five pancakes*
Miroku: *orders like 6 pancakes*
Sango: *orders another pancake*
Miroku: *orders another pancake*
Both: *keep ordering pancakes*
Sango: you know it really isn't a competition
Miroku: yeah you're right lets stop
Waiter: Sir, Ma'am, your pancakes are ready... *holding two plates stacked high with buttermilk pancakes...mm... Buttermilk pancakes...*
Sango: *looks at Miroku*
Miroku: *looks at Sango*
Both: *start fighting over who gets the syrup first*
Miroku: IT'S MINE!
Sango: I DESERVE IT MORE YOU KNOW THAT!
Miroku: SHARED CUSTODY!
Sango: EXCUSE YOU BUT ITS NAME IS PATRICIA! WHAT KIND OF NAME IS SHRILANCA FOR A CHILD?
Waiter and manager: Excuse me, this is a child friendly environment, and if you cannot end this inappropriate behavior then we'll be forced to ask you to leave
Sango: oh, right, I'm sorry... *kisses Miroku on the lips like a lot*
Miroku: *leans into it*
Sango: *yanks the syrup from his hands* HAHA I WIN! *pours syrup wildly*
Waiter: That was inappropriate as well
Sango: I do apologize for being the only couple in your restaurant at the time and therefore your only way to make money at this hour. We will try not to be too much of a bother from this moment on. Thank you for the food; it is well appreciated.
Waiter: *sighs and walks away* just don't start yelling again...
Miroku: YES GOOD SIR!
Miroku: I did that just to anger him for talking to you in a partially disrespectful manner
Sango: oh why thank you worthy gentlemen! I believe that this syrup shall be in your possession now
Miroku: Thank you lovely wife. *takes the syrup bottle, but doesn't notice half of it is gone*
Kagome: *somewhere else, shoots up* SOMEONE IS EATING PANCAKES I CAN FEEL IT!
Yashie: Kagome they actually said that they were going to eat pancakes
Kag: I know that stupid dog!
Yashie: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU BEING SO PISSY?!
Kag: *goes into bathroom and comes out ten minutes later* Well shit...
Yashie: umm what?
Kag: *chucks a book at him*
Book: Stages of Pregnancy
Shippo: what's pregnancy?
Kag: *hands him identical book*
Yashie: HOLY FUCK
Kag: *calls Sango*
Sango: *answers* what now
Kag: Hey bitch, let's go shopping
Sango: Kagz I'm on a date rn
Kagome: Because I'm fucking pregnant now, and I'll need fucking baby clothes
Sango: OMG! *turns to Miroku* KAGOME'S PREGNANT!
Kagome: I couldn't care less if Miroku was inserting himself into you anally, you're going to help me get baby shit
Sango: Kagome you have nine whole months to get baby shit you don't have to do it now!
Kagome: Too late. *suddenly herself and the demon slayer are at a baby department store, Sango's shirt having syrup on it*
Sango: damnit! Just lemme call Miroku and apologize
Sango: *calls Miroku* I'm really sorry but Kagome just teleported me to some baby store! Can you take my leftover pancakes home?
Miroku: as you wish
Sango: Thanks! I'm so sorry!
Miroku: *looks at phone as the call ends* Kagome's are weird when with child. I'll add this to my notes at a later time...
Sango: Kagome we don't even know if it's a guy or girl how are we supposed to buy clothes?
Kagome: Get Yashie or Fluffy to sniff my itty bitty baby belly
Sango: they're not here
Kag: I want chocolate hot dogs
Sango: *sigh* I don't think they have those here
-short scene where Sesshy and Rin appear and Sesshy tells Kagome that it's a boy-
Kag and San: *search for green and blue crap for kids for hours*
Kag: Hey clerk lady, are there any chocolate hot dogs?!
Sango: Kagz it's like eleven o'clock can we please go home
Clerk: *hands hot dog covered in chocolate sauce over to pregnant woman* Here you are. Many mothers have cravings for this
Kag: Thanks *takes bite* And sure, here's the money for this stuff
Kag and San: *poof out if store once they pay the clerk and end up at Kagome's place*
Yashie: *still freaking out*
Sango: good luck with him I'm going home
Sango: *magically poofs into bedroom while Miroku is changing* FUCK *covers eyes(for the most part)*
Miroku: I didn't know you would return so suddenly. How did you return so fast
Sango: it was Kagome she had Rin's old laptop or something...she teleported me here
Miroku: I understand perfectly. Rin is...definitely a...unique person
Miroku: Be it because of her indescribable need to kill things, or her connection to her Lord Sesshomaru
Sango: why are you talking like that?
Miroku: I am not sure
*there is a knock at the door*
Sango: who could that be?
Miroku: *gets up to check* It better not be an axe murderer
Sango: *follows*
Miroku: *looks through the peephole* it's... Tomoe?
Sango: what?! *swings door open*
Miroku: you don't have to seem so enthusiastic...
*Outside the door is Kuranosuke*
Kuranosuke: HI SANGO!
Sango: Miroku you said it was Tomoe not Kuranosuke!
Kuranosuke: who is Tomoe?
Sango: *sigh* no one... What do you want?
Sango: Kuranosuke I'm married
Kuranosuke: You are?
Sango: umm yeah. Why else would Miroku be in my house at midnight
Kuranosuke: Knitting?
Miroku: I do enjoy a good knit...
Sango: yeah no goodbye Kuranosuke
Kuranosuke: *sadly* Bye
Sango: *closes the door* why would you tell me it's Tomoe if it wasn't?
Miroku: why did you open the door so quickly when you thought it was Tomoe?!
Sango: because I wanted to see what he wanted!
Miroku: why would you open the door for Tomoe but not Kuranosuke?!
Sango: because I actually liked Tomoe! And coming to my house in the middle of the night is not something that he would do!
Miroku: Alright fine
Sango: I'm going to bed
Miroku: I'll let you
Sango: are you coming?
Miroku: yeah
Sango: are you okay?
Miroku: yeah just tired
MirSan: *goes to bed*
-next day-
Kagome: I FUCKING HATE MORNING SICKNESS!
Shippo: ooh ooh what are you gonna name my new brother?!
Kagome: idk it's too early
Shippo: okay! What's for breakfast?
Kagome: *cheeks go puffed out* DON'T SAY BREAKFAST! *runs to bathroom*
Shippo: oh well I guess I'll go take a nap