Crazy Girls
Chapter 38: Death, DesTruCTION, DIARRHEA
A quick refresh: Sango, Miroku, and Kirara stumbled upon a portal in the bathroom of Pizza Hut
Kirara: HOLY FUCK!
Sango: omg where are we...?
Kirara: In a magical world I guess. Watch out for anything, you never know with Kagome I'm assuming that she's-
Miroku: AHHH! *splash of water*
Miroku: HELP ME!
Kirara: YOU IGNORANT FOOL! *drags his sorry ass out of a largely populated shark pit*
Sango: are you oka- *disappears into thin air*
Kirara: DAMNIT!
Miroku: SANGO MY LOVE! WHERE ARE YOU!
Miroku: *randomly super dramatic*
Kirara: This was a bad idea, this was a bad idea, this was a bad idea, this was a bad idea, idea... Idea... I... I kea... Wait, what? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!
Miroku: *on his knees looking up at the sky* WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Kirara: DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES?! *starts singing and breakdancing*
Miroku: *gets up and starts running* WE HAVE TO FIND HER!
*dramatic music starts playing out of nowhere*
Kirara: DID YOU JUST INTERRUPT ME DURING MY SONG SOLO?!
Kirara: YOUR HEAD IS MINE MONK! GOD DAMNIT DON'T IGNORE ME!
Kirara: *runs after him*
Shippo: *in the penthouse watching these events on tv while eating popcorn* Kagome, look! Aunt Sango n Uncle Miroku are on television!
Kagome: *distracted from her ranting* WHAT?! *runs to the TV* DAMNIT THEY RAN IN MY PORTAL!
Shippo: Sango disappeared! Oh no! And Miroku is yelling about it! Look, Kirara's breakdancing!
Kagome: I THOUGHT THAT WAS SANGO'S JOB!.AND I THOUGHT THAT THEY WERE GOING OUT FOR PIZZA!
Yashie: babe, what's all the yelling about?
Kag: SHUT UP STUPID DOG! I'LL YELL IF I FUCKING WANT TO!
Shippo: they're running now!
Kag: DAMN DAMN DAMN!
Sango: *tied to a post on a pirate ship that's on land for some strange reason*
Miroku: *out of breath* UNHAND NY WIFE VILE BEASTS!
Naraku: *comes out of nowhere* SUP BISHESSS?!
Sango: WHEN I GET OUT OF THIS IM GONNA CHOP OFF ALL OF YOUR LIMBS AND FEED THEM TO YOU ONE BY ONE!
Naraku: you can't do a thing to me because I DONT FUCKING EXIST HAHA
Kirara: DIDN'T YOU FUCKING DIE?!
Naraku: after being devoured by four year olds I became a holographic image that only haunts people when they're involved in fun activities like playing cards or summoning Satan
Kirara: we aren't playing cards and we haven't summoned Satan moron.
Naraku: you guys decided to fuck around in this magical world, which also counts
Kirara: Why can't you just, oh I dunno, SHOVE A DILDO UP YOUR ASS?!
Naraku: I DONT HAVE AN ASS! HAHA!
Kirara: FUCK YOU HOLOGRAM GREASY HAIRED BASTARD!
Miroku: *after catching his breath, runs over to Sango*
*commence dramatic make out session*
Kirara: Could you not?
Miroku: but I want to!
Sango: could you at least, um, UNTIE ME FIRST
Kirara: Screw this. *flips Naraku off and stalks into the shrubbery to god knows where*
Shippo: And now Kirara walked off. Mommy what did she do with her fingers at Naraku?
Kag: I'll tell you when you're two hundred
Shippo: *pouts*
Miroku: *unties Sango and commences makeout session again*
Naraku: *rolls eyes and starts singing*
MAMAAAAA OOHOOOHOOOOOOOH DIDNT MEAN TO MAKE YOU CRY! IF IM NOT BACK AGAIN THIS TIME TOMORROW-
Sango: do you fucking mind
Naraku: NOPE!
Kirara: *from...somewhere* SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Kagome: They stole my spontaneousness...
Kagome: *sulks in a dark loner corner*
Naraku: *screams like a small child*
Shippo: mommy the pirate ship is collapsing!
Kag: NOOOOOOO! I IMPORTED THAT SHIT FROM FUCKING NEVERLAND! DAMNIT!
Sango: MIROKU WILL YOU STOP TRYNA FUCK ME FOR TWO SECONDS AND GET US THE HELL OUT OF HERE?!
Kirara: EVERYONE INTO THE FUCKING PORTAL! Naraku you can stay here no one likes you.
*suddenly there's fucking water under the pirate ship and they all get soaking wet*
Kirara: I am going to kill her
Sango, Miroku, Kirara: *leave the Pizza Hut bathroom soaking wet*
*also it's the middle of the night and the Pizza Hut is dark and empty*
Miroku: WE'RE TRAPPED!...AND WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE PIZZA!
Sango: well at least no one was here to see this...
Sango: WAIT THERE ARE FUCKING SECURITY CAMERAS
Kirara: So they'll see three wet people who got out of a portal. Big deal
Sango: we are trapped in here tho...
Miroku: *looks at Sango and smirks*
Sango: GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!
Kirara: No rated R activities while I'm in the vicinity
Miroku: fine, I guess we'll just sit here aaaall night and accomplish NOTHING
Kirara: Why can't I just use Rin's old phone and get us out of here? *more convenient than her laptop*
Miroku: BECAUSE YOU CANT!
Sango: why are you so riled up
Kirara: Insolent pup. Fuck you I'm out.
Sango: I'm leaving too
Miroku: NO YOU CANT!
Sango: Forget it; in never going to have sex with you in an empty Pizza Hut
Miroku: that's not what I was implying...
Sango: why should we stay here when we can go home and sleep in comfortable beds?
Miroku: because our dinner plans were ruined!
Sango: it's not a big deal!
Miroku: but it is a big deal!
Kirara: it is not a big deal!
Miroku: yes it is!
Sango: why?!
Miroku: BECAUSE I WAS GONNA PROPOSE TO YOU!
Kirara: Well I'm just gonna- *disappears*
Sango: what?!
Miroku: fuck... *gets down on one knee and pulls out a ring* Sango will you spend the rest of your life with me?
Sango: we're already married
Miroku: yeah, but it didn't count!
Miroku: Dont leave me hanging my love
Sango: I... Okay, fine! Sure. We're already mostly living together anyways and we're already actually married so haha why not let's get married!
Miroku: YAY
Sango: *kisses him* wait but this still doesn't mean we're gonna have sex in Pizza Hut
Miroku: I know...
Shippo: mommy look at the tv now! Miroku just proposed!
Kagome: I can see that
Kirara: *shows up at the penthouse* Kagome do you seriously have access to the Pizza Hut security cameras?!
Kag: Nooooo
Kirara: oh, and WHY THE HELL DID YOU PUT A FREAKING PORTAL IN THE PIZZA HUT BATHROOM
Kag: Cause I was on drugs or something?
Shippo: we were watching you guys on television!
Kirara: we could've DIED! Well actually probably not since Naraku's weak af
Kagome: too bad!
*back at Sango's place*
Kag: *chucks a wedding dress at Sango*
Sango: wait how did you know we were getting married?!
Kag: You're on TV!
Sango: actual tv or just your tv...?
Kag: Actual TV
Miroku: so if we DID have sex in the Pizza Hut...
Sango: GODDAMNIT MIROKU LET IT GO
Kag: Pervert
Miroku: I was only going to say that I'm GLAD that we didn't because I don't want the whole world to see you naked, my love!
Sango: oh shut up!